1
00:00:05,973 --> 00:00:07,906
UH, EXCUSE ME.
2
00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:10,742
I'M LOOKING
FOR SOMETHING LIGHT
AND UNDERSTATED,
3
00:00:10,744 --> 00:00:12,411
YET CAPABLE OF
CATAPULTING ME BACK
4
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:14,913
INTO THE SNOWY BOSOM
OF MY TRUE LOVE.
5
00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:17,149
AH. CHARDONNAY
BEAULIEU?
6
00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:18,716
UH, NO. MARY ALBRIGHT.
7
00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:21,520
I'LL LOOK AROUND FOR YOU.
8
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:25,056
UH, BE SURE
IT GOES WITH HAM.
9
00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:26,891
BETTER CHECK
THE BOTTLE, DICK.
10
00:00:26,893 --> 00:00:29,795
SOME OF THIS STUFF'S
OVER A YEAR OLD.
11
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:31,562
OH, DICK,
THIS IS SO NICE.
12
00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:33,799
PLANNING A SURPRISE
ROMANTIC ENCOUNTER
13
00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:35,567
FOR SOMEONE WHO
HATES YOUR GUTS.
14
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,102
THAT'S WHERE
YOU'RE WRONG, TOMMY.
15
00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:39,638
MARY ADMITTED THAT
SHE STILL HAS FEELINGS
FOR ME,
16
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,373
WHICH IS WHY
I MUST ACT QUICKLY
17
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,975
TO REGAIN
HER LOVE AND TRUST--
18
00:00:43,977 --> 00:00:46,645
EXCUSE ME! DO YOU
CARRY SPANISH FLY?
19
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:50,715
GOD, DICK.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GRAB
SOME MICROWAVE BURRITOS
20
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:53,552
AND A COUPLE OF TALL BOYS
AND GO FOR IT?
21
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,921
YOU DON'T KNOW
THE FIRST THING
ABOUT ENTERTAINING.
22
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:59,525
YEAH. FIRST YA GOTTA
GET SOME FRIENDS.
23
00:00:59,527 --> 00:01:02,928
YEAH.
GOOD LUCK WITH THAT,
MISS PERSONALITY.
24
00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:05,964
SHUT UP, BUTT RASH.
I'M WORKIN' ON IT.
25
00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:07,833
OH,
HOW I MISS THE DAYS
26
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:10,001
OF FURTIVE LOOKS
ACROSS THE OFFICE,
27
00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:12,504
PASSING NOTES
IN FACULTY MEETINGS.
28
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,506
OH, AND THE GROPING
WAS ALWAYS NICE.
29
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:17,809
IF THINGS WERE SO GREAT,
WHY WERE YOU MAKING
OUR LIVES MISERABLE
30
00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:19,577
WITH YOUR CONSTANT
WHINING AND COMPLAINING?
31
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:20,579
[WHINING] WAS NOT!
32
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,047
WAS SO!
WAS SO!
33
00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:23,515
WELL, IF I DID,
34
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:25,383
IT WAS PROBABLY
BECAUSE I WAS FILLED
WITH SO MUCH BLISS,
35
00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:27,352
I DIDN'T KNOW
WHERE TO SHOVE IT.
36
00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:30,956
TRUST ME, AFTER MY
ROMANTIC OVERTURES,
37
00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:32,291
OUR TOOTHBRUSHES
WILL BE HANGING
38
00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:35,193
BRISTLE TO BRISTLE
BY MORNING.
39
00:01:37,031 --> 00:01:40,799
I SAY HE'S HOME BY 7:00
WITH THAT TOOTHBRUSH
IN HIS EYE SOCKET.
40
00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:27,145
OOH. LOOK AT
THE STUDIOUS SCHOOLGIRL,
41
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:30,248
ALL ALONE UP
IN THE RARE BOOKS ROOM.
42
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:32,383
WELL, I'M THE BIG, BAD
PROFESSOR,
43
00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:35,120
AND I'M DISAPPOINTED
IN YOUR GRADES!
44
00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:37,322
NOT NOW. I'M IN A RUSH.
45
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:41,359
I'M JUST KIDDING, MARY.
ACTUALLY, IT'S ME--DICK.
46
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:44,128
UH, DICK, ARE YOU HERE
FOR A REASON?
47
00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:45,630
I'M HERE BECAUSE, WELL,
48
00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:48,767
REMEMBER HOW YOU SAID
THAT YOU STILL HAD
FEELINGS FOR ME?
49
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:53,371
OH, I KNEW THAT WOULD
COME BACK AND BITE ME
IN THE ASS.
50
00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:57,776
I THOUGHT I WOULD ACT
ON THOSE FEELINGS
AND WHISK YOU AWAY
51
00:02:57,778 --> 00:02:59,778
FOR A ROMANTIC INTERLUDE.
52
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:03,848
BUT FIRST,
A GETTING-TO-RE-KNOW-YOU
CHAMPAGNE TOAST
53
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:07,052
AND THEN WE'LL HIKE
OVER TO THE RESERVOIR
FOR A MOONLIT PICNIC.
54
00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:08,787
I HAVE PLANS!
55
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:11,223
YOU THINK I'M GONNA
DROP EVERYTHING
FOR A LITTLE CHAMPAGNE?
56
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:13,725
NOT A LITTLE...A LOT.
57
00:03:14,961 --> 00:03:16,461
I DON'T HAVE TIME.
58
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:19,831
IT'S NOT THAT EASY
TO ERASE THE PAST.
59
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:21,733
WELL, WHY WOULD YOU
WANT TO ERASE THE PAST?
60
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,235
THINK BACK, MARY.
61
00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:24,569
DON'T YOU REMEMBER
THE ROMANCE?
62
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:25,904
THE LAUGHTER?
THE FIGHTING?
63
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:26,905
THE SCREAMING?
64
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,640
THE ENDLESS NIGHTS
OF LOVEMAKING?
65
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:31,209
THE ENDLESS PARADE
OF HUMILIATIONS,
66
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:34,146
INTERSPERSED WITH
RANDOM ACTS OF INSANITY!
67
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:43,455
IT'S AFTER 7:00. THEY'VE
TURNED THE ELEVATORS OFF.
68
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:45,890
I'LL HAVE TO WALK
DOWN THE STAIRS.
69
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,159
OH, NO!
70
00:03:50,096 --> 00:03:51,396
OH, WE'RE LOCKED IN!
71
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:52,464
WE COULD BE HERE
ALL NIGHT!
72
00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:54,065
ALL ALONE!
JUST THE TWO OF US!
73
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,236
WE'RE LOCKED IN.
74
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,571
WE COULD BE HERE
ALL NIGHT.
75
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,406
ALL ALONE,
JUST THE TWO OF US.
76
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:04,843
NOOOO!
77
00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,649
HEY. WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
78
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:13,318
OH, WE'RE GETTING
READY TO CONSOLE DICK.
79
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,520
HE'S GONNA BE DEVASTATED
ONCE ALBRIGHT
GIVES HIM THE BOOT.
80
00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:17,555
YEAH. POOR BASTARD.
81
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,526
WELL, HE SHOULD HAVE
BEEN HOME BY NOW.
82
00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:23,762
I MEAN, I'VE BEEN REJECTED
BY LOTS OF GIRLS.
83
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,563
IT ONLY TAKES A MINUTE.
84
00:04:25,565 --> 00:04:27,499
GOD, DO YOU THINK SOMETHING
TERRIBLE HAPPENED TO HIM?
85
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,767
WELL, SHE PROBABLY
JUST TOOK HIM BACK.
86
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,668
THAT'S WHAT I MEANT!
WE'VE GOTTA STOP HIM!
87
00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:33,605
HE COULD BE
HANGING HIS TOOTHBRUSH
AT HER HOUSE RIGHT NOW.
88
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:34,639
LET'S GO!
89
00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:38,743
DON'T YOU THINK WE'RE BEING
KIND OF SELFISH HERE?
90
00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:39,744
NO.
91
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:40,679
LET'S GO!
92
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:47,585
WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?
93
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:50,288
I'M LOOKING FOR A SECRET
PASSAGEWAY OUT OF HERE.
94
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:53,358
BUT BE READY. WE MIGHT
ENCOUNTER A NAZI.
95
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:56,194
OR EVEN A MUMMY!
96
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:57,562
DICK,
YOU GOT US INTO THIS.
97
00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:59,264
YOU COULD AT LEAST DO
SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE!
98
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:00,398
YEAH. ALL RIGHT.
99
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,966
ALL RIGHT.
100
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,768
HELLO-OOOH!
101
00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:05,103
[ECHO] HELLO-OOOH!
102
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:07,672
YOU SEE?! THERE ARE
OTHER PEOPLE HERE!
103
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,508
WE'RE TRAPPED!
104
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:11,843
[ECHO] WE'RE TRAPPED!
105
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:13,812
GREAT! THEY'RE TRAPPED,
TOO.
106
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:19,017
EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF.
107
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:20,785
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
108
00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:22,287
OH, COME ON, MARY.
109
00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:24,589
WE'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT
TILL THEY RESCUE US
TOMORROW MORNING.
110
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:26,357
THE LIBRARY'S
CLOSED TOMORROW.
111
00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:28,393
THE LIBRARY'S
CLOSED ON SATURDAY?
112
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:35,500
DICK, THIS IS NOT
A GOOD SCHOOL!
113
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:38,370
WAIT A MINUTE. I'M HAVING
A TUPPERWARE PARTY TOMORROW,
AND NINA'S GONNA BE THERE.
114
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:41,373
SHE'LL PUT 2 AND 2 TOGETHER
WHEN SHE REALIZES
I'M NOT THERE,
115
00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:42,507
AND SHE'LL COME GET ME!
116
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,507
AND ME?!
117
00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:44,443
WHATEVER.
118
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:50,114
WELL...THAT'S A CAUSE
FOR CELEBRATION.
119
00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:51,149
[LIGHT BULB SHATTERS]
120
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:02,260
HOW ROMANTIC.
121
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:05,262
POUR THE DAMN CHAMPAGNE!
122
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,504
[POUNDING ON DOOR]
Sally: OPEN UP, DICK!
123
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:14,138
WE'RE NOT GONNA
LET YOU DO THIS!
124
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,979
HELLO?
125
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:22,547
OK. SPREAD OUT.
I'LL CHECK UPSTAIRS.
126
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:23,614
I'LL CHECK THE BASEMENT.
127
00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:24,649
THERE IS NO BASEMENT.
128
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:27,018
AH.
THEN MY WORK IS DONE.
129
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,954
I'M ON A 5, PEOPLE.
130
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,725
THERE'S NOTHING DOWN HERE!
131
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,628
Sally: OH! OH, MY GOD!
132
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,663
WHAT, DID YOU
WALK IN ON THEM?
133
00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:41,799
NO. I THINK I JUST ATE
A BATH OIL BEAD!
134
00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:45,836
HEY, DOES ANYBODY REMEMBER
ALBRIGHT HAVING LITTLE,
TINY HANDS?
135
00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:47,472
NO, NOT REALLY. WHY?
136
00:06:47,474 --> 00:06:49,774
WELL, LOOK AT THE SIZE
OF THESE SANDWICHES.
137
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:53,311
HER WHOLE REFRIGERATOR IS
FULL OF TRAYS OF TINY FOOD.
138
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:56,848
WOW. I BET I COULD FIT,
LIKE, 12 OF THOSE
IN MY MOUTH AT ONCE.
139
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,183
I'LL TAKE THAT BET.
140
00:06:58,185 --> 00:06:59,117
I'M IN.
141
00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:03,855
Both, chanting:
DO IT! GO! GO! GO! GO!
142
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,827
WELL,
THINGS COULD BE WORSE.
143
00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,929
I MEAN,
IF I'M GOING TO BE
TRAPPED WITH SOMEONE,
144
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,764
I'M SURE GLAD IT'S YOU.
145
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,265
AT LEAST WITH YOU,
146
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,200
I KNOW THAT, NO MATTER
HOW HUNGRY YOU GET,
147
00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:19,971
I'M NOT GOING TO WAKE UP
TO FIND YOU GNAWING
AT MY LEG.
148
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:27,846
RIGHT, MARY?
149
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:32,050
I'M BEGINNING TO THINK
YOU PLANNED THIS ALL ALONG.
150
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:37,488
ACTUALLY, MY PLAN WAS
FOR US TO BE DOING IT
RIGHT NOW.
151
00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:40,458
UNDER A PINE TREE
BY THE RESERVOIR.
152
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,659
ON THE GROUND?!
153
00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:43,728
NOT ON THE GROUND.
154
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:45,196
I BROUGHT NEWSPAPER.
155
00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:51,302
ENTERTAINMENT SECTION,
MARY.
156
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,470
THAT'S YOU.
157
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,808
WOW. ALBRIGHT'S GOT
SUCH COOL STUFF.
158
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,010
I WONDER HOW COME SHE NEVER
INVITES ME OVER.
159
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:05,750
BECAUSE YOU'RE
A FREAKIN' MOOSE,
THAT'S WHY.
160
00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:09,887
HEY! YOU GUYS GOTTA TRY
161
00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:11,922
THIS ELECTRIC EAR SWAB!
162
00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:18,129
OH! THEY'RE BACK! OK!
PRETEND WE JUST GOT HERE!
163
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:26,804
ASS RIGHT THERE,
FREEZEHOLE!
164
00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:29,007
DON, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?
165
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:32,043
ALBRIGHT'S SILENT ALARM
WENT OFF.
166
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:34,679
WELL, I DIDN'T
HEAR ANYTHING.
167
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,381
WE THOUGHT THERE
MIGHT BE A BREAK-IN.
168
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:39,584
WELL, NO ONE'S BROKEN IN
SINCE WE BROKE IN.
169
00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:40,752
YOU BROKE IN?
170
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:43,921
WHAT, DO YOU THINK
ALBRIGHT GAVE US THE KEY?
171
00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:46,457
B-BUT BREAKING AND ENTERING,
THAT'S A CRIME.
172
00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:49,093
WOW.
WOW.
WOW.
173
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:51,229
YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE!
I SHOULD ARREST YOU!
174
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,663
OH, COME ON, DON.
175
00:08:52,665 --> 00:08:54,565
CAN'T YOU LOOK
THE OTHER WAY
JUST THIS ONCE?
176
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:55,934
NO, I'M AFRAID
I CAN'T, SALLY.
177
00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:58,502
I--WELL,
JUST THIS ONCE.
178
00:08:58,504 --> 00:09:01,072
BUT...YOU CAN'T
STAY HERE!
179
00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:02,874
WE'LL LEAVE
RIGHT AWAY, DON.
THANKS.
180
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:06,411
IT'S OK, RICO!
IT WAS JUST A...RACCOON.
181
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:08,813
OK, YOU GUYS,
YOU HEARD HIM.
182
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:09,814
WE GOTTA GET
OUTTA HERE.
183
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:11,816
WHOA! CHECK OUT
PAY PER VIEW!
184
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:12,817
OH, WHAT'S ON?
185
00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:13,985
I DON'T KNOW.
SOUNDS GOOD.
186
00:09:18,524 --> 00:09:22,393
[DRUNKENLY] I REMEMBER
THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU.
187
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:25,596
YOU WALKED IN LIKE...
188
00:09:25,598 --> 00:09:27,899
COCK OF THE WALK.
189
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:31,836
YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WANTED,
AND YOU TOOK IT!
190
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:34,405
JUST LIKE A CAT TAKES...
191
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,808
WHAT DOES A CAT TAKE?
192
00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:37,809
CAT FOOD?
193
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:38,943
THAT'S IT.
194
00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:43,314
HA...HA...HA...HA...
195
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:47,919
[DRUNKENLY] I REMEMBER
WHEN I FIRST SAW YOU,
MARY ALBRIGHT.
196
00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:54,892
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
A FIREBALL.
197
00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:58,162
YOU SURE HAVE MY NUMBER.
198
00:09:58,164 --> 00:09:59,163
I KNOW.
199
00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:02,099
I STOLE IT
FROM NINA'S ROLODEX.
200
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:07,272
I HAVE A CONFESSION
TO MAKE.
201
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:10,040
I WAS THE ONE WHO KEPT
CALLING AND SAYING,
202
00:10:10,042 --> 00:10:12,443
"HELLO, FIREBALL."
203
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:20,118
I KNEW IT WAS YOU
ALL ALONG!
204
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,289
I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING.
205
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:26,491
WHAT?
206
00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:29,026
I MADE YOU EARN IT.
207
00:10:29,028 --> 00:10:31,796
THAT'S MARY ALBRIGHT!
208
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:35,467
I DON'T JUST
GIVE IT AWAY.
209
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:37,235
ANYMORE.
210
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,174
HEY, MORNING.
211
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:44,609
OH, MAN...
212
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:46,177
WHAT DID I MISS?
213
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:50,615
WE WATCHED
BEASTMASTER'S REVENGE
3 MORE TIMES.
214
00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:52,850
AND YOU DIDN'T WAKE ME UP?!
215
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:54,619
WELL, WHAT'S ON NEXT?
216
00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:55,620
ENGLISH PATIENT.
217
00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:58,723
YEAH, ME, TOO.
OH, I'M OUT.
YEAH.
218
00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:00,692
[DOORBELL RINGS]
219
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:03,094
GET BACK!
TAKE YOUR POSITIONS!
220
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:04,929
WAIT A MINUTE.
I DON'T THINK IT'S THEM.
221
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:05,997
WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE?
222
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,632
WHY WOULD SHE RING
HER OWN DOORBELL?
223
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:08,766
GOOD THINKING.
224
00:11:12,438 --> 00:11:15,339
HI. YOU MUST BE
MARY ALBRIGHT.
225
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,508
UH...YEAH. SURE.
226
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:20,277
OTHERWISE, I'D BE
THIS PERSON WHO BROKE IN
AND WAS HANGING AROUND,
227
00:11:20,279 --> 00:11:22,413
EVEN THOUGH THE POLICE
TOLD ME TO LEAVE, SO...
228
00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:26,017
I'M SUZY MARTIN...
FROM TUPPERWARE?
229
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,719
SO, MARY, TODAY'S
YOUR BIG PARTY, HUH?
230
00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:29,954
MY PARTY?
231
00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:31,923
YEAH. I HAVE ALL
YOUR DISPLAY ITEMS
OUT IN THE CAR.
232
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:33,892
WELL, SAY,
YOU'RE A BIG FELLA.
233
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,359
WANT TO GIVE ME A HAND?
234
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:38,162
HEY, MARY, REMEMBER,
IT'S YOUR PARTY,
235
00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:40,832
AND YOU CAN COAST,
OR YOU CAN HOST.
236
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:41,966
LET'S GO.
237
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:46,937
THIS IS ODD.
238
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:50,275
TOMMY, DO YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS MEANS?
239
00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:52,109
NO, MARY. WHAT?
240
00:11:52,111 --> 00:11:54,179
I'M HOSTING
MY FIRST PARTY.
241
00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:00,885
[BARKING]
242
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:07,325
WAKE UP.
243
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:09,360
WAKE UP!
244
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:10,361
OH...
245
00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:11,362
HUH?
246
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:12,530
DICK...
247
00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:13,531
DID WE...
248
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:14,599
DID WE WHAT?
249
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:16,033
YOU KNOW.
250
00:12:16,035 --> 00:12:17,535
I-I'M NOT SURE.
251
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:18,603
I THINK WE DID!
252
00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:20,004
I'M NOT SURE.
YOU DO?
253
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:21,506
MAYBE WE DID!
254
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:22,507
HEY!
OOH!
255
00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:23,508
YOU KNOW WHAT
THIS MEANS?!
256
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:24,508
NO!
WE'RE BACK TOGETHER!
257
00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:26,244
JUST YOU
AND ME, KID!
NO.
258
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,278
NO!
WE'RE AN ITEM!
259
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,213
NOO! NOO!
260
00:12:29,215 --> 00:12:30,681
SOMEBODY GET ME
OUT OF HERE!
261
00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:43,061
DICK, I WANT TO MAKE MYSELF
PERFECTLY CLEAR.
262
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:45,063
WE ARE NOT TOGETHER AGAIN.
263
00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:47,798
WHATEVER HAPPENED
LAST NIGHT...
264
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,101
IF IT DID...
265
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,002
SHOULDN'T HAVE!
266
00:12:52,004 --> 00:12:56,374
WELL, I JUST WANT TO SAY
THAT IF IT DID HAPPEN...
267
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:59,477
IT WAS GLORIOUS.
268
00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,145
HOW DO I LET THESE THINGS
HAPPEN TO ME?!
269
00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:03,181
WHY ARE YOU RESISTING,
MARY?!
270
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:04,815
WE'VE ALWAYS BEEN
GREAT TOGETHER.
271
00:13:04,817 --> 00:13:07,885
WERE WE EVEN
IN THE SAME RELATIONSHIP?!
272
00:13:07,887 --> 00:13:10,721
I MEAN, EVERY TIME I THINK
I HAVE A HANDLE ON YOU,
273
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:12,923
YOU SPRING
A NEW AND DISTURBING
SURPRISE ON ME!
274
00:13:12,925 --> 00:13:15,226
YOU NOTICED?
275
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:19,097
COME ON. MAYBE WE CAN
FIND SOMETHING HEAVY
TO BREAK THE LOCK.
276
00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,599
OH, LOOK!
THERE'S AN AIR VENT!
277
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:22,767
YES, AND THERE'S A LAMP.
278
00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:24,635
LET'S TRY TO STAY
FOCUSED, MARY.
279
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:27,505
IT MIGHT LEAD SOMEWHERE.
IT'S WORTH A TRY.
280
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:30,641
AH, MY BRAVE
LITTLE MARY.
281
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,476
YOU'RE MAGNIFICENT.
YOU KNOW THAT.
282
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:35,079
I WON'T TRY
TO STOP YOU. NO, NO.
283
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:36,948
NO, YOU WOULDN'T
WANT ME TO.
284
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:40,218
THAT'S
THE ADVENTUROUS SPIRIT
AND INTREPID PLUCK
285
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:41,419
THAT I'VE--
GET IN THE VENT!
286
00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:49,394
Dick: OH, GOD!
287
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:54,299
OW. OW! OW! OOH!
288
00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:55,800
COME ON, MARY.
289
00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:57,302
I MADE IT.
290
00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:58,803
YOU CAN DO IT.
291
00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:00,971
COME ON. RAPPEL.
RAPPEL.
292
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:08,279
YOU ARE SUCH A FOOL!
293
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:11,149
NEED I REMIND YOU
THAT IT WAS THIS FOOL
294
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:15,853
WHO SUGGESTED THAT
WE USE YOUR PANTYHOSE
AS A LIFELINE?
295
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,022
LET'S JUST GET
OUT OF HERE.
296
00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:22,727
OH! OH...
297
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:24,628
MOTHER OF...PEARL!
298
00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:25,629
[CRYING]
299
00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:27,865
DON'T LOSE HOPE, MARY.
300
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,867
IF YOU CRY, I'LL CRY,
301
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:33,137
AND--AND--AND WHO'LL
STOP ME FROM CRYING?!
302
00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:35,673
OH, DON'T TRY
TO HUG ME!
303
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:38,576
I'M NOT. THERE'S
A BIG, DEAD SPIDER
IN YOUR HAIR.
304
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:39,944
WAAAAHHH!
305
00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:44,515
I TOLD A LIE.
HE'S STILL ALIVE.
306
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:45,749
WAAAHH!
307
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,791
HEY, TOMMY.
308
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:55,793
WHERE'S DR. ALBRIGHT?
309
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:57,294
WELL, WE'RE NOT SURE,
310
00:14:57,296 --> 00:14:59,930
BUT WE THINK SHE'S
HAVING SEX WITH DICK.
311
00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:02,266
OH, MY GOD!
WHAT IS SHE THINKING?
312
00:15:02,268 --> 00:15:04,168
WHAT'S SHE THINKING?
WHAT'S HE THINKING?
313
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:06,503
OK. CAN WE JUST AGREE
THAT THEY'RE BOTH
IDIOTS?
314
00:15:06,505 --> 00:15:08,205
YEAH!
315
00:15:08,207 --> 00:15:12,176
SO NOBODY NOTICED
THAT DR. ALBRIGHT
ISN'T HERE?
316
00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:14,511
OH, WELL, WE DIDN'T
WANT TO SPOIL THE MOOD,
317
00:15:14,513 --> 00:15:16,513
SO WE TOLD THEM ALL
THAT HER PARENTS DIED.
318
00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:18,816
WELL, MAYBE I OUGHT
TO HELP OUT.
319
00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:21,285
UH...NO,
THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY.
320
00:15:21,287 --> 00:15:23,921
LADIES, I'VE GOT CHILLS.
321
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,190
IF YOU LIKE
THE CARROT KEEPER,
322
00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:30,027
YOU'LL THINK THIS NEXT ITEM
IS THE CAT'S WHISKERS!
323
00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:33,397
I GIVE TO YOU
THE SUPER SNACK TUBE!
324
00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:34,398
OOH!
OOH!
OOH!
OOH!
325
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,100
I KNOW! I KNOW!
326
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,601
THIS SLICK LITTLE NUMBER
327
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,703
WAS DESIGNED FOR YOU MOMS
WITH LITTLE ONES
328
00:15:39,705 --> 00:15:41,538
WHOSE MOUTHS
ALWAYS NEED FEEDIN'.
329
00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:44,142
HUNGRY KIDS?
HEY, NO PROBLEM!
330
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:47,145
CAR, PARK, OR POOL,
YOU'LL ALWAYS BE READY.
331
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:51,282
I'M NO MOM,
BUT I'VE GOT A MOUTH,
AND I WANT ONE!
332
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,984
OH, PUT ME DOWN FOR 2!
333
00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:54,252
OOH! YOU KNOW WHAT I SMELL?
[SNIFFS]
334
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:56,720
A BARGAIN!
AND I'M GONNA GO GET IT.
335
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:01,292
WHAT IS THIS PLACE, ANYWAY?
336
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,928
I THINK IT'S
THE CHANCELLOR'S
BALLROOM.
337
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:06,797
NO...I DON'T.
338
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,200
I THINK IT'S SOME KIND
OF A STORAGE CLOSET.
339
00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:13,904
HARDY BOYS NOVELS...
340
00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:17,575
UPDATED TEXTBOOKS--
WHY DON'T THEY JUST
THROW THIS JUNK OUT?
341
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:20,878
WELL, I'LL JUST THROW OUT
THESE HARDY BOYS BOOKS.
342
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,850
OH, MY GOD!
343
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:27,818
THIS IS MY THESIS!
344
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,220
I SPENT 2 YEARS
OF MY LIFE WRITING THIS,
345
00:16:30,222 --> 00:16:31,755
AND THEY KEEP IT
IN HERE?!
346
00:16:31,757 --> 00:16:34,625
WELL, THEN, THIS MUST
BE THE ARCHIVES!
347
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:40,230
IT'S IN THE BOTTOM
OF A BOXED MARKED
"SUGAR PUFFS"!
348
00:16:40,232 --> 00:16:42,600
THIS WAS GOOD, DAMN IT!
349
00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:44,335
AND THEY KEEP IT
IN HERE?
350
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:49,473
OH, AND LOOK!
IN 15 YEARS,
IT WAS CHECKED OUT ONCE!
351
00:16:49,475 --> 00:16:51,108
ONCE...
352
00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:52,609
I'M SO SORRY, MARY.
353
00:16:52,611 --> 00:16:55,946
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
354
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,148
CHAMPAGNE?
355
00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:00,985
THANKS FOR HAVING ME,
SALLY.
356
00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:02,386
IT WAS A GREAT PARTY.
357
00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:04,721
IT WAS A HOOT,
WASN'T IT? BYE-BYE.
358
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:07,958
LOOK AT ALL THIS LOOT!
359
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:12,463
I KNOW. I MUST SAY,
I LOVE MY NEW CHIP SOMBRERO.
360
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:14,265
HOLD ON THERE, COMPADRE.
361
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:19,871
I CALLED DIBS
ON THE CHIP SOMBRERO
A HALF-HOUR AGO,
362
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:23,340
ALONG WITH
THE HAMBURGER HOPPER.
363
00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:25,743
HAMBURGER HOPPER?
EVERYONE KNOWS THAT GOES
WITH THE BUN HUTCH,
364
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,144
AND YOU AIN'T
GETTIN' THAT.
365
00:17:27,146 --> 00:17:30,848
WAIT. THE BUN HUTCH IS IN
THE COUNTERTOP COLLECTION.
366
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,383
MY COUNTERTOP COLLECTION!
367
00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:34,685
WELL, NOW YOU'RE
TALKIN' CRAZY.
368
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:35,686
SHUT UP!
369
00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:37,187
ENOUGH! YOU KNOW WHAT?
370
00:17:37,189 --> 00:17:38,255
IT WAS MY PARTY.
I'M CALLING THE SHOTS.
371
00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:40,524
WE HELPED!
OH, WE HELPED!
372
00:17:40,526 --> 00:17:42,693
I CARRIED THIS BABY
ON MY BACK!
373
00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:45,862
I THREW THE TUPPERWARE PARTY
OF THE SEASON!
374
00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:49,466
I'M THE ONE WHO DECIDES
WHO GETS WHAT, AND NOBODY
TOUCHES NOTHIN'!
375
00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:52,536
NO, SALLY.
THAT AIN'T RIGHT.
376
00:17:52,538 --> 00:17:54,772
WE WERE ALL
IN THIS TOGETHER!
377
00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:58,242
PARTNERS! EQUAL PARTNERS,
EQUAL SHARES!
378
00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,243
JUST COOL DOWN HERE.
379
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,245
WHY DON'T YOU GUYS
GO IN THE KITCHEN
380
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:02,646
AND GET YOURSELF
SOMETHING TO EAT?
381
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:04,816
OH, YOU'D LIKE THAT,
WOULDN'T YA?
382
00:18:04,818 --> 00:18:06,750
AND WHEN WE GET BACK,
WHAT DO YA KNOW?
383
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:07,984
THE BUN HUTCH IS GONE!
384
00:18:07,986 --> 00:18:09,587
HEY, HEY,
WAIT A MINUTE!
385
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,154
I WOULDN'T
DO YA LIKE THAT.
386
00:18:11,156 --> 00:18:14,258
I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU'D LIKE SOME
MINI PIZZA BAGELS.
387
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,960
BAGELS?
388
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:17,494
BAGELS?!
389
00:18:17,496 --> 00:18:20,931
WE DON'T NEED
NO STINKING BAGELS!
390
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,113
WOW.
391
00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:36,981
I KNOW. 3 IN A ROW.
392
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:39,450
DAMN!
393
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:44,788
WHEN I WROTE THIS, I WAS
SO YOUNG AND AMBITIOUS.
394
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:47,558
I WAS SO FULL OF DREAMS.
395
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,260
AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?
396
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:52,596
I WAS SO FULL OF CRAP!
397
00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:55,099
THIS IS WHAT
I THOUGHT WAS GOOD?!
398
00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:56,366
THIS BELONGS IN HERE!
399
00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:58,368
IT BELONGS
IN THE GARBAGE!
400
00:18:58,370 --> 00:19:00,437
OH, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
401
00:19:00,439 --> 00:19:02,105
OH, YOU CAN'T KNOW
HOW I FEEL!
402
00:19:02,107 --> 00:19:05,042
I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO BE BETRAYED
BY YOUR MEMORIES.
403
00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:08,946
I REMEMBERED
OUR RELATIONSHIP
AS BEING ALL ROSY,
404
00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:12,449
BUT IT TURNS OUT IT WAS
ONE LONG NIGHTMARE.
405
00:19:16,222 --> 00:19:18,923
IT WASN'T ALL BAD.
406
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:22,960
A LOT OF IT WAS, BUT...
407
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,828
SOME OF IT WAS OK.
408
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,330
YOU MEAN IT?
409
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:28,366
YEAH.
410
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:32,169
WELL, WHAT YOU WROTE
ABOUT THE MAYAN SUBCULTURE
IN CHAPTER 11
411
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,770
WAS REALLY WONDERFUL.
412
00:19:33,772 --> 00:19:35,973
YOU READ MY THESIS.
413
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:38,442
YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO CHECKED IT OUT!
414
00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:40,444
OF COURSE I WAS.
415
00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:42,146
I EVEN KEPT IT
AN EXTRA WEEK.
416
00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:45,049
I GOT $3.00 IN FINES.
417
00:19:45,051 --> 00:19:46,050
THEN YOU LIKED IT?
418
00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:47,552
YEAH, IT WAS GOOD.
419
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:51,054
MAYBE NOT $3.00 GOOD,
BUT GOOD.
420
00:19:51,056 --> 00:19:54,225
SO IT WAS YOU.
421
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:56,293
WHAT A NICE SURPRISE.
422
00:19:56,295 --> 00:19:58,295
YOU SEE?
423
00:19:58,297 --> 00:20:02,132
IT ISN'T SO BAD BEING
STUCK HERE WITH ME, IS IT?
424
00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:03,567
I GUESS NOT.
425
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,473
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
426
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,678
OH, I WAS AFRAID
WE'D GET LOST,
427
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:16,480
SO I LEFT A TRAIL
OF BLUE CHEESE
IN THE VENT,
428
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:18,949
AND I GUESS THE HEATER
JUST KICKED IN.
429
00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:21,518
OH! [GAGGING]
430
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,253
CHAMPAGNE?
431
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:33,864
WILD WEEKEND, HUH?
432
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:35,533
WE WERE IN THE LIBRARY.
433
00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:37,434
MMM. IS THAT SO?
434
00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:38,936
YES, AS A MATTER
OF FACT, IT IS.
435
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:40,738
WE WERE LOCKED IN
THE WHOLE TIME.
436
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:41,939
LOOK, I DON'T NEED TO KNOW.
437
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,974
WHAT YOU DO ON THE WEEKEND
IS YOUR BUSINESS.
438
00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:47,044
WHICH WAS SPEND IT LOCKED
IN THE LIBRARY.
439
00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:49,046
UH-HUH, AND IS THAT
440
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:51,848
WHY YOU SMELL LIKE
CHEAP CHAMPAGNE?
441
00:20:51,850 --> 00:20:55,519
IT MAY HAVE BEEN CHEAP,
BUT THERE WAS
LOTS OF IT.
442
00:20:55,521 --> 00:20:56,820
WHATEVER.
443
00:20:56,822 --> 00:20:58,322
NINA, CANCEL MY CLASSES.
444
00:20:58,324 --> 00:21:00,857
I'M GOING TO SPEND
ABOUT 6 HOURS IN THE TUB.
445
00:21:00,859 --> 00:21:02,693
SO DOES THIS MEAN
THAT THE TWO OF YOU--
446
00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:06,063
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THIS MEANS.
447
00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:07,765
ALL I KNOW IS
THAT THIS WEEKEND
448
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,333
MADE ME REALIZE
A FEW THINGS,
449
00:21:09,335 --> 00:21:13,637
AND I'VE GOT TO ADMIT,
HE IS CHARMING IN HIS WAY.
450
00:21:13,639 --> 00:21:16,674
IN HIS WAY?
451
00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:18,275
WELL, HE'S FULL
OF SURPRISES,
452
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,043
AND AS MUCH AS I THOUGHT
I'D HATE THAT,
453
00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:22,580
I GUESS IT'S FUN
TO BE SURPRISED.
454
00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:28,753
OH, UH,
BY THE WAY, NINA,
I'M GOING TO CLASS.
455
00:21:28,755 --> 00:21:31,689
SEE IF YOU CAN BEAT
THE CHEESE STINK OUT
OF THESE PANTS.
456
00:21:35,728 --> 00:21:37,628
SURPRISE!
457
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:40,364
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--
458
00:21:43,236 --> 00:21:45,502
WELL, I DON'T UNDERSTAND
THESE CHARGES.
459
00:21:45,504 --> 00:21:51,108
I DID NOT WATCH
BEASTMASTER'S REVENGE
4 TIMES.
460
00:21:51,110 --> 00:21:54,044
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT A BEASTMASTER IS!
461
00:21:56,916 --> 00:21:58,949
WELL, THAT DOES
SOUND INTRIGUING,
462
00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:01,718
BUT I DIDN'T ORDER IT.
463
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:08,059
AND WHAT IS ULTIMATE
WARRIOR BLOODBATH '98?
464
00:22:08,061 --> 00:22:11,161
OH, WAIT. I DID ORDER THAT.