1 00:00:04,005 --> 00:00:06,839 NINA, I STILL DON'T GET IT. 2 00:00:06,841 --> 00:00:08,841 WHICH ONE IS BABY SPICE? 3 00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:11,443 OH, SHE'S THE ONE THAT GOES LIKE THIS. 4 00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:15,481 I THOUGHT THAT WAS SCARY SPICE. 5 00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:17,016 NO. SCARY SPICE, SHE'S ALL, 6 00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:18,517 "WHA! 7 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:19,584 SSSS!" 8 00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:20,586 MARY! 9 00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:22,087 NO. BECAUSE, SEE-- 10 00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:23,088 DADDY! 11 00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:24,089 HEY, MAGPIE. 12 00:00:24,091 --> 00:00:25,591 HA HA HA! OH... 13 00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:26,592 OH. 14 00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:28,093 WHAT A NICE SURPRISE! 15 00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:30,862 WELL, NOT REALLY. I'VE LEFT YOUR MOTHER. 16 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,297 AGAIN? 17 00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:33,531 OH, I'M SO SORRY. 18 00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:35,267 LET ME GIVE YOU TWO SOME TIME ALONE. 19 00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:36,769 OH, THAT'S NOT NECESSARY. 20 00:00:36,771 --> 00:00:38,971 THEY DO THIS EVERY YEAR. 21 00:00:38,973 --> 00:00:42,341 I KNOW. I JUST CAN'T BEAR TO HEAR IT AGAIN. BUH-BYE. 22 00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:45,844 SO HOW LONG IS THIS FIGHT GOING TO LAST? 23 00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:47,412 OH, THIS WAS A BAD ONE, MARY. 24 00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:49,414 I BROKE HER SOUND OF MUSIC BOX. 25 00:00:49,416 --> 00:00:50,482 OH, NO! 26 00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:51,483 YEP. 27 00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,652 YOUR MOTHER AND I ARE THROUGH! 28 00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:55,654 45 YEARS DOWN THE TOILET. 29 00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,822 YOU STILL GOT THAT HIDE-A-BED IN THE LIVING ROOM? 30 00:00:57,824 --> 00:00:59,024 YES. 31 00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:01,593 AND YOU DON'T MIND SLEEPING ON IT? 32 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,662 NOT REALLY. NO. 33 00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:05,163 GOOD MORNING, MARY. 34 00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:06,264 OH, GOOD MORNING, DICK. 35 00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:07,332 GOOD MORNING, DICK. 36 00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:08,566 GOOD MORNING, GEORGE. 37 00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,736 AAH! WHAT? 38 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:14,106 IF HE'S HERE, THAT MEANS THE OTHER ONE'S HERE, TOO, 39 00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:16,408 AND--AND SHE SCARES ME. 40 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,944 NO, DICK. DADDY'S HERE ALONE. 41 00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:20,479 [WHISPERING] He left Mother. 42 00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:21,479 OH... 43 00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:23,214 FINALLY. 44 00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:02,454 [DOORBELL RINGS] 45 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:03,888 I'LL GET IT! 46 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:07,792 HELLO, SOLOMONS. 47 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,228 HELLO, GEORGE! 48 00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:11,396 UH, THIS IS MY BROTHER HARRY. 49 00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:12,897 CHARMED, I'M SURE. 50 00:02:12,899 --> 00:02:15,366 AND THIS IS MY SON TOMMY. 51 00:02:15,368 --> 00:02:17,202 HEY, THERE, SPORT! 52 00:02:17,204 --> 00:02:18,636 HEY! CUT IT OUT! 53 00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:20,738 HE STARTED IT! 54 00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:22,474 IT'S ALL RIGHT. 55 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,809 I LEFT MYSELF WIDE OPEN. 56 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:25,877 COME ON IN. 57 00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,012 ALL RIGHT, THEN. 58 00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:28,379 I'M SORRY. HI. I'M SALLY. 59 00:02:28,381 --> 00:02:30,816 HI. LET ME TAKE YOUR COAT, YOUNG LADY. 60 00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:31,817 OH, THANK YOU. 61 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:34,185 YOU KNOW... 62 00:02:34,187 --> 00:02:37,689 YOU REMIND ME OF A GAL NAMED BETTY GRABLE, 63 00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:40,158 BUT I BET SHE WAS BEFORE YOUR TIME. 64 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,861 YEAH, I'VE ONLY BEEN HERE A COUPLE YEARS. 65 00:02:43,863 --> 00:02:45,330 SIT DOWN AND LET ME FIX YOU A DRINK. 66 00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:46,831 GREAT. I'LL HAVE A BEER. 67 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,333 A BEER? 68 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,435 A BEER'S NO DRINK FOR A LADY. 69 00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:52,437 LET ME MAKE YOU A LADY'S DRINK. 70 00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:54,706 YEAH. 71 00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:58,209 A LADY'S DRINK. 72 00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:06,284 I LIKE THIS SCOTCH. 73 00:03:06,286 --> 00:03:08,554 YEAH. SO DOES EVERYBODY ELSE. 74 00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:12,357 SO TELL ME ABOUT NORMANDY AGAIN, GEORGE. 75 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:15,460 OH, YOU JUST CAN'T HEAR ENOUGH ABOUT THE BIG ONE, CAN YA? 76 00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:17,462 NO. 77 00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:19,297 I LOVE WAR. 78 00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:23,635 OH, I MEAN, I HATE WAR, BUT I LOVE HEARING ABOUT THE KILLING. 79 00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:28,206 YOU KNOW, I ONCE KILLED A NAZI WITH MY BARE HANDS. 80 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,641 OH, PLEASE! 81 00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:32,977 SO, HOW DID IT HAPPEN? 82 00:03:32,979 --> 00:03:35,614 WELL, I WAS ASLEEP IN THIS BURNED-OUT CHURCH 83 00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:36,981 IN THE FRENCH COUNTRYSIDE. 84 00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:38,483 AND HE TRIPPED, AND YOU CHOKED HIM, 85 00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:39,785 AND I THINK IT'S GETTING LATE. 86 00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:40,786 DICK! 87 00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:41,819 HUH? 88 00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:43,121 OH! 89 00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:44,656 OH, MARY! 90 00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,391 OH, THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE! 91 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,192 I HAD A TERRIBLE DREAM. 92 00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:50,495 YOUR FATHER WAS THERE... 93 00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:51,663 AND-- 94 00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:55,667 AND HE WAS TELLING ALL THESE BORING WAR STORIES. 95 00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:58,570 I COULDN'T KEEP MY EYES OPEN! 96 00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:03,609 HELLO, GEORGE. 97 00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:05,410 CHOP-CHOP, EVERYONE! TIME TO GO! 98 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:09,414 OH, COOL, I'M STILL KINDA DRUNK. 99 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:13,084 HEY, THERE'S NO HAIR ON MY CHEST. 100 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,785 THANK YOU, MARY. 101 00:04:14,787 --> 00:04:16,287 GEORGE, IT WAS A WONDERFUL EVENING, 102 00:04:16,289 --> 00:04:18,356 BUT I'M AFRAID WE'VE GOT TO BE OFF. SALLY! 103 00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:19,857 REALLY? SO SOON? 104 00:04:19,859 --> 00:04:23,661 I DIDN'T EVEN GET A CHANCE TO TELL SALLY ABOUT MY DISCHARGE. 105 00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:26,264 THAT'S NOT APPROPRIATE, DAD! 106 00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:30,668 FROM THE AIR FORCE! 107 00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:32,204 OH. 108 00:04:32,206 --> 00:04:33,905 WELL, HEY... 109 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:37,809 WHY DON'T YOU TAKE SALLY TO THE RUTHERFORD AIR AND SPACE MUSEUM TOMORROW. 110 00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,311 YOU CAN TELL HER ALL ABOUT IT. 111 00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:43,148 HEY, BUT I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA HAVE LUNCH TOMORROW, MAGPIE. 112 00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:44,449 OH, THAT'S OK. 113 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,250 WELL, I'D LOVE TO GO. 114 00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:49,454 THEY'VE GOT A PERFECTLY RECONSTRUCTED P-38 LIGHTNING. 115 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:52,690 COULD WE GET IT AND PRETEND WE'RE BOMBING CITIES? 116 00:04:52,692 --> 00:04:54,426 I'LL SLIP THE GUARD A FIVER. 117 00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:56,928 OH, YOU ARE AWESOME! 118 00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:11,777 HEY, TOMMY, DO YOU LIKE EGG SALAD? 119 00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:13,779 'CAUSE I LIKE EGG SALAD. 120 00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:16,014 HARRY, IF YOU EAT DICK'S LUNCH BEFORE WE FIND HIM, 121 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,082 THEN WE HAVE NO REASON TO FIND DICK. 122 00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:19,751 THAT'S A LOAD OFF. 123 00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:22,920 OOH, LOOK! 124 00:05:22,922 --> 00:05:25,790 AN EXHIBIT ON THE EARLY DAYS OF RADIO. 125 00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:29,127 NO. THIS IS JUST THE COLLEGE'S CRUDDY OLD RADIO STATION. 126 00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:32,064 NO. I'M PRETTY SURE THAT GUY'S ANIMATRONIC. 127 00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:37,969 HEY, EDDIE. 128 00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:39,471 ARE YOU THE D.J.? 129 00:05:39,473 --> 00:05:41,839 HUH? NO. HE LEFT FOR SPRING BREAK. 130 00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,308 WHAT? YOU MEAN THERE IS NO D.J.? 131 00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:45,443 WELL, ISN'T THAT KIND OF CHEATING PEOPLE? 132 00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:47,612 THIS IS, LIKE, 8 WATTS, MAN. 133 00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:50,815 I MEAN, HOW MANY PEOPLE IS THAT, LIKE... 134 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:52,550 8? 135 00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:54,051 OH! EDDIE! 136 00:05:54,053 --> 00:05:55,653 CAN I BE YOUR D.J.? 137 00:05:55,655 --> 00:05:57,689 UH, I DON'T KNOW. 138 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,857 DO YOU HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE? 139 00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,125 WHY, YES, I DO! 140 00:06:02,595 --> 00:06:07,265 YES. I WAS IN CHARGE OF THE MORNING DRIVE TIME ZOO CREW TEAM 141 00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:09,700 AT WLMNOP. 142 00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:12,603 I CAN WORK THE KNOBS PERFECT. 143 00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:14,272 OH, KNOCK YOURSELVES OUT. 144 00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:16,107 ALL RIGHT! OOH! 145 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,009 OH, UH, JUST... 146 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:19,144 DON'T CURSE... 147 00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:20,778 AND DON'T SPILL NOTHIN', 148 00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:23,348 AND IF YA SPILL SOMETHIN', 149 00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:24,449 DON'T CURSE. 150 00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:32,657 OH, WAIT-- WAIT A SECOND. 151 00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:33,658 WHOA! WHOA! 152 00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:34,793 WHAT DO I SAY? 153 00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:37,795 IN 4...3...2... 154 00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:39,297 GOOD MORNING, RUTHERFORD. 155 00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:41,532 I'M HARRY SOLOMON. 156 00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:45,103 IT'S 10:52 IN THE A.M. HERE AT WPDL. 157 00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:46,604 IT'S A SUNNY DAY, 158 00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:50,341 AND I'VE GOT A SUNNY WAY TO PLAY. 159 00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:52,277 HERE'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES, 160 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:54,412 AND I HOPE IT'S ONE OF YOURS. 161 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:57,348 SEE IF YOU RECOGNIZE THIS ONE. 162 00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:02,987 PUT THE TAPE IN. 163 00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:05,156 I DON'T KNOW HOW. 164 00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:09,628 WELCOME TO TALK RADIO, PEOPLE. 165 00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,366 VROOOOM! 166 00:07:14,368 --> 00:07:17,101 RAT-A-TAT-TAT- TAT-TAT-TAT! 167 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,804 OH, HOW WAS THE AIR AND SPACE MUSEUM? 168 00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:21,172 IT WAS TERRIFIC! 169 00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:22,541 I HAD THE BEST TIME! 170 00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:23,908 OOH! 171 00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:26,277 SO, YOU SURE YOU DON'T MIND ME TAKING THE LINCOLN? 172 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,278 NOT AT ALL. 173 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,846 YOU RUN YOUR ERRANDS IN STYLE. 174 00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:29,947 THANKS. 175 00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:30,948 I'M GONNA PICK UP THAT ELLA FITZGERALD CD. 176 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,284 OH, YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT! 177 00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:36,020 OH, I KNOW I WILL 'CAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE. 178 00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:39,123 OH, ISN'T SHE SWEET? 179 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,626 YOU KNOW, MUFFIN, IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER, 180 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:45,162 I'D SAY THAT LITTLE GAL REALLY LIKES ME. 181 00:07:45,164 --> 00:07:49,200 WELL, OF COURSE SHE DOES. YOU'RE WONDERFUL. 182 00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:52,770 NO. I MEAN SHE REALLY LIKES ME. 183 00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:54,572 OH, PLEASE. 184 00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:56,941 SHE DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE THE AIR MUSEUM. 185 00:07:56,943 --> 00:08:03,081 WELL, OBVIOUSLY, SHE HAS SOME PERVERSE INTEREST IN OLD WAR RELICS. 186 00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:06,918 IN MY OPINION, IF DOGS WERE MEANT TO BE ON LEASHES, 187 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:10,254 THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN BORN WITH THEM. 188 00:08:10,256 --> 00:08:13,257 AND DON'T GIVE ME THAT TIRED, OLD ARGUMENT 189 00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:16,460 THAT THEIR TAILS ARE LEASHES. 190 00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:18,997 OK, LET'S CHECK IN WITH THE TRAFFIC 191 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,198 WITH OUR GOOD BUDDY TOMMY G! 192 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:22,700 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 193 00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:25,770 WELL, UH...THERE'S A TRUCK OUT THERE, AND NOW IT'S GONE. 194 00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:26,971 BACK TO YOU, HARRY! 195 00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:31,109 LET'S BE CAREFUL OUT THERE, PEOPLE! 196 00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:34,078 OOH, HEY, WE GOT AN IN-STUDIO GUEST: 197 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,882 MISS NINA CAMPBELL! 198 00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:37,448 HEY, YOU GUYS, I TURNED ON THE RADIO, AND I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT! 199 00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:38,983 THIS IS SO GREAT! 200 00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:42,820 YEAH. I WANNA SEND SOME SHOUTS OUT TO STEVEN AND BOBBY AND CLARISSE-- 201 00:08:42,822 --> 00:08:44,589 OOH! AND REGGIE AND SHY GIRL AND LITTLE B AND-- 202 00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:46,691 NO. THIS IS MY SHOW. 203 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,427 OOH, WE'VE GOT A CALLER ON LINE 1. 204 00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:50,862 GO AHEAD, CALLER. 205 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:54,899 YEAH. I TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH YOU ON THAT WHOLE LEASH LAW THING. 206 00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:56,400 OH... 207 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,772 WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD... 208 00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:05,543 BECAUSE YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE WRONG. 209 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,511 YOU TELL HIM, HARRY! 210 00:09:07,513 --> 00:09:09,013 YEAH! NEXT SOUND YOU HEAR 211 00:09:09,015 --> 00:09:11,516 WILL BE THE SOUND OF ME HANGIN' UP ON A DUMB ASS. 212 00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:20,257 OK, SO FAR YOU'VE ATTACKED LEASH LAWS, CITY COUNCIL, 213 00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:22,760 AND SOME OLD LADY. 214 00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:25,763 YEAH, BUT I'M RUNNIN' OUT OF STUFF TO SAY. 215 00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:27,165 I MEAN, WE NEED A GUEST. 216 00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,233 OH, YOU KNOW WHO YOU SHOULD HAVE ON? 217 00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,234 GEORGE ALBRIGHT. 218 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,603 HE KILLED A NAZI WITH HIS BARE HANDS. 219 00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:34,272 THAT'S COOL. 220 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:37,308 WELL, YOU CERTAINLY ARE SPENDING A LOT OF TIME WITH THAT MAN. 221 00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:38,943 WELL, WHY NOT? HE'S GREAT. 222 00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:40,778 HE'S NOT LIKE ANY GUY I'VE EVER MET. 223 00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:42,280 HE'S SO CONFIDENT. 224 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:44,615 I MEAN, LOOK AT ALL THE PLAID HE WEARS. 225 00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:47,918 WELL, I WILL ADMIT HE IS JAZZY. 226 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,287 OH, YEAH. HE'S GOT STYLE, 227 00:09:50,289 --> 00:09:52,790 PLUS HE SMELLS LIKE SPICES. 228 00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:55,292 OLD SPICES. 229 00:09:55,294 --> 00:09:58,796 DICK, I FINALLY UNDERSTAND YOUR ALBRIGHT ATTRACTION. 230 00:09:58,798 --> 00:10:01,732 IT MUST BE THEIR DNA. THEY'RE IRRESISTIBLE. 231 00:10:01,734 --> 00:10:03,734 YES! AT LAST I'M UNDERSTOOD! 232 00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:05,503 THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THEM, A CHARM... 233 00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:06,504 A MAGNETISM... 234 00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:07,505 A STRENGTH... 235 00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:08,506 A QUIET FORCE-- 236 00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:11,309 THEY'RE BOTH A PAIN IN THE ASS. 237 00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:12,644 I DON'T KNOW, YOU GUYS. 238 00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:13,978 DO YOU REALLY THINK A GUY LIKE GEORGE 239 00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:16,047 WOULD BE INTERESTED IN A GAL LIKE ME? 240 00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:21,152 SALLY, WHY WOULD A GUY IN HIS 70s WANT TO BE WITH A WOMAN IN HER 20s? 241 00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:23,187 OH! 242 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,226 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 243 00:10:30,663 --> 00:10:33,164 OH, HEY, ALBRIGHT, IS GEORGE HERE? 244 00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:34,732 OH, ACTUALLY, HE JUST WENT OUT. 245 00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:35,733 WITH WHO? 246 00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:37,001 TO GET A PAPER. 247 00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:38,002 OH. 248 00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:39,003 COME IN. 249 00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:39,937 COME IN. THANKS. 250 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:43,675 YOU KNOW, SALLY, 251 00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:46,678 MOTHER AND DAD DO THIS EVERY YEAR, 252 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,680 AND I DO NOT LOOK FORWARD TO IT, 253 00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:50,014 SO THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME OUT. 254 00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:52,750 DAD APPRECIATES IT. HE REALLY DOES. 255 00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:54,285 HE DOES? HE SAID THAT? 256 00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,721 TELL ME EXACTLY WHAT HE SAID, RIGHT NOW. 257 00:10:56,723 --> 00:10:58,723 OH! HE'S HAVING A BALL, 258 00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:01,692 AND I KNOW IT'S NOT EASY ENTERTAINING DAD ALL DAY. 259 00:11:01,694 --> 00:11:03,194 NO, NO. I LIKE IT. 260 00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:07,231 YOU'RE SO LUCKY. YOUR DAD IS AMAZING. 261 00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:10,935 WELL, I'M REALLY GLAD YOU GET TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH MY DAD. 262 00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:11,936 OH, YEAH. 263 00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:13,404 BUT I MUST WARN YOU. 264 00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:16,841 SOMETIMES HE GETS A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY, AND HE GETS THESE IDEAS. 265 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:19,810 ALL I'M ASKING IS THAT YOU BE GENTLE WITH HIM, OK? 266 00:11:19,812 --> 00:11:22,046 OK. NO MORE WRESTLING. 267 00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:25,649 NO. I'M SERIOUS. I WON'T DO IT AGAIN. 268 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:31,556 OK, DON. THANKS FOR COMING DOWN. 269 00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:33,491 WE KNOW HOW BUSY YOU ARE. 270 00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:35,493 WE APPRECIATE YOUR TIME. 271 00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:36,828 OH. 272 00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,329 IT'S MY PLEASURE. 273 00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:39,830 IN FACT, I THINK I GOT AN INTERESTING STORY FOR YOU GUYS. 274 00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:42,433 IN 4...3...2... 275 00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:43,734 AND WE'RE BACK! 276 00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:47,539 WELL, LOOK WHO DROPPED BY TO SAY HELLO. 277 00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:49,840 OFFICER DON ORVEL. 278 00:11:49,842 --> 00:11:53,911 OR AS HE'S KNOWN ON THE STREETS, MADGE WITH A BADGE. 279 00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:57,915 I'VE GOT THIS STORY FOR YOU GUYS. 280 00:11:57,917 --> 00:12:01,352 YEAH, SO TELL ME, OFFICER BACON BITS... 281 00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:05,556 WHEN YOU'RE WORKING OVER A SUSPECT, 282 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,224 DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A BIG MAN? 283 00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:11,729 [MAN SCREAMS ON TAPE] 284 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,298 WELL, HARRY, I TRY NOT TO ABUSE MY BADGE, 285 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:16,133 WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY STORY. IT'S ABOUT-- 286 00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:18,235 BORING! 287 00:12:21,874 --> 00:12:24,375 SO, DON, TELL ME, WHAT DO YOU THINK 288 00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:27,378 ABOUT OLD DUDES DATING YOUNG, HOT BABES? 289 00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:28,846 IS IT SMART OR SKANKY? 290 00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:33,651 I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS I'M DOWN WITH THAT. 291 00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,586 MM, YOU'RE DOWN WITH THAT? 292 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:38,622 YEAH. I AM. I'M DOWN WITH THAT. 293 00:12:38,624 --> 00:12:41,825 YEAH! HE'S DOWN WITH THAT. 294 00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:44,328 WELL, WOULD YOU STILL BE DOWN WITH IT 295 00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:48,332 IF THE YOUNG, HOT BABE WAS, OH, SAY, SALLY... 296 00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:51,869 AND THE OLD DUDE WAS ALBRIGHT'S DAD? 297 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,739 THAT I'M NOT DOWN WITH. 298 00:12:55,741 --> 00:12:59,177 SO, SALLY LIKES MR. ALBRIGHT. HA, THAT'S MESSED UP. 299 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,781 OH, WE'VE GOT A CALLER ON LINE ONE. 300 00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:05,283 YOU'RE ON THE AIR WITH HARRY SOLOMON. 301 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,786 Sally: YEAH, THIS IS, UM, THELMA... 302 00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:10,288 FROM OHIO. 303 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,790 IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHAT I DO, 304 00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:13,792 AND IF YOU IDIOTS KEEP TALKING ABOUT ME, 305 00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:16,727 I'M GONNA BEAT YOUR FACES IN WITH A MONKEY WRENCH WHEN YOU GET HOME. 306 00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:20,097 NEW TOPIC. 307 00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:23,067 MICHELLE PFEIFFER'S LIPS. 308 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,104 ARE THEY REAL? 309 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,246 DADDY? YOU STILL UP? 310 00:13:38,384 --> 00:13:39,383 YES. 311 00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:41,886 OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. 312 00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:43,554 OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. 313 00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:45,490 ALBRIGHT! ALBRIGHT! 314 00:13:46,692 --> 00:13:48,092 I'M BEING GENTLE. 315 00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:59,570 HEADS UP! I'M COMING INTO THE ROOM! 316 00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:03,641 I CAN'T SLEEP. WE HAVE TO TALK. 317 00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:04,909 GREAT. LET'S TALK. 318 00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:07,378 I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO MY FATHER ALONE, PLEASE? 319 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,013 OH, OK. GOOD NIGHT, SUGAR. 320 00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:11,716 OH, LISTEN, UM, 321 00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:13,651 GEORGE AND I WANT TO TAKE YOU AND DICK 322 00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:15,085 OUT TO DINNER TOMORROW NIGHT. 323 00:14:15,087 --> 00:14:17,588 OH, GOODY. A DOUBLE DATE WITH MY DAD. 324 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:18,689 PLEASE GO. 325 00:14:21,795 --> 00:14:24,795 MARY, LISTEN, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW NOW 326 00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:26,797 THAT GEORGE AND I ARE TOGETHER, 327 00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:30,301 AND I'M NOT GONNA TRY TO REPLACE YOUR MOTHER, 328 00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:32,537 OK? AND I... 329 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:35,039 I JUST HOPE TO BECOME A WAY BETTER MOTHER 330 00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:37,408 AND GRADUALLY TURN YOU AGAINST HER. 331 00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:41,112 I'M NOT GONNA CALL YOU MUMMY. 332 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:42,280 SALLY'S FINE. OH! 333 00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:44,548 LISTEN, I WANT TO TAKE YOU SHOPPING NEXT WEEK, 334 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:45,950 GET YOU A PRETTY NEW DRESS. WOULD YOU LIKE THAT? 335 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:50,521 DID I TELL YOU SHE'S GOT THE HOTS FOR ME? 336 00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:52,023 WAS I RIGHT? 337 00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:54,625 STOP THIS FOOLISHNESS AND GO BACK TO MOTHER! 338 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:58,129 NO! AFTER 45 YEARS OF PURE MISERY, 339 00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:02,433 I FINALLY THINK THERE'S A PLAN FOR THE UNIVERSE. 340 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,168 WHY HER? 341 00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:06,170 WELL, SHE LISTENS TO ME. 342 00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:07,672 SHE FINDS ME INTERESTING. 343 00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:10,041 I'M CRAZY ABOUT HER. 344 00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:14,712 AND THAT'S WHY I THINK I'M GONNA GIVE HER THIS. 345 00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:16,214 THAT'S MOTHER'S HEIRLOOM BRACELET. 346 00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,716 WELL, MARTHA DOESN'T WEAR IT ANYMORE. 347 00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:22,653 I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR HER TO DIE TO GET THAT! 348 00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:26,323 WE ALL HAVE. WE ALL HAVE. 349 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:37,768 OH, YEAH? WELL, WHY DON'T YOU COME DOWN TO THE STATION 350 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,271 AND MAKE ME, YA BIG JERK?! 351 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,472 [POW] 352 00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:45,343 HARRY, SHE WAS 8 YEARS OLD. 353 00:15:47,013 --> 00:15:49,247 SHE JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF IT WAS GONNA RAIN. 354 00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:52,183 [BOOM] 355 00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:54,718 YOU JUST STIFLE IT, LITTLE MAN. 356 00:15:57,623 --> 00:16:00,925 SO GEORGE THINKS WE SHOULD TAKE A COLD WATER CRUISE, 357 00:16:00,927 --> 00:16:03,728 BECAUSE IT'S FAR MORE INTERESTING THAN DOING THAT WHOLE ISLAND THING. 358 00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:04,962 OH, YEAH. 359 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,898 THERE'S NOTHING LIKE SNUGGLING UP ON THE DECK 360 00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,900 WITH YOUR SWEETIE AND A HOT TODDY. 361 00:16:08,902 --> 00:16:12,370 WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? AND DON'T GO TOO FAR! 362 00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:17,575 WOULD YOU LIKE TO DANCE? 363 00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,110 OH, I'D LOVE TO. 364 00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:21,712 OH, WHOOPSIE, MARY. LET ME GET IT. 365 00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:28,786 GOOD DOUBLE-BAKED POTATOES. 366 00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,154 LOOK AT THOSE TWO. 367 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,189 WHO? 368 00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:33,624 WOODY AND SOON-YI OVER THERE. 369 00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:38,896 THIS WORLD WORKS IN WONDERFUL AND MYSTERIOUS WAYS. 370 00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:41,165 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 371 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:44,101 THOSE TWO PEOPLE COULD BE FATED TO FALL IN LOVE, 372 00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:47,037 JUST WHEN YOUR MOTHER WAS CONVENIENTLY OUT OF THE WAY. 373 00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:52,777 LOOK AT HIM DANCING, GUSHING ALL OVER HER. 374 00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:54,111 DANCING? 375 00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:56,046 MAKING A FOOL OF HIMSELF. 376 00:16:56,048 --> 00:16:57,548 DANCING. 377 00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:00,117 IS THIS MAYONNAISE OR HORSERADISH? 378 00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:03,120 OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS WITH SALLY. 379 00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:05,623 SHE'S JUST TRYING TO REPLACE THE FATHER SHE LOST. 380 00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:07,625 OH! OH! 381 00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:10,127 WHATEVER IT IS, IT'S HOT. 382 00:17:10,129 --> 00:17:13,130 DON'T TELL ME I'M JEALOUS, BECAUSE I'M NOT! 383 00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:15,065 MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE. 384 00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:18,569 THAT'S MY DADDY! 385 00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:20,805 THAT'S MY NAPKIN! 386 00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:23,975 DADDY, YOU WANT TO DANCE WITH ME? 387 00:17:23,977 --> 00:17:27,712 WELL, SURE... KITTEN. 388 00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:30,648 I'LL DANCE WITH YOU, SALLY. 389 00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,650 HE CALLED HER KITTEN! 390 00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:33,651 I'M KITTEN! 391 00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:34,785 CAN'T YOU BE PUMPKIN? 392 00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:36,787 I DON'T WANT TO BE PUMPKIN! 393 00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:39,156 WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO GET SOME THINGS STRAIGHTEN OUT 394 00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:40,791 IF SHE'S GONNA BE MY MOTHER-IN-LAW. 395 00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:42,693 BUT AREN'T YOU GONNA BE HER STEPMOTHER? 396 00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:43,628 WHATEVER. 397 00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:47,197 EXCUSE ME. UH, SHALL WE DANCE? 398 00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:48,132 DAD-- 399 00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,105 NO! 400 00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:57,608 WHY? 401 00:17:57,610 --> 00:18:00,377 SALLY, PEOPLE ARE WATCHING. 402 00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:01,478 OH, YEAH? 403 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:02,747 OHH! 404 00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:07,985 I WAS DANCING WITH MY DADDY. 405 00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:10,554 NO! YOU WERE DANCING WITH MY BOYFRIEND. 406 00:18:10,556 --> 00:18:14,158 HE WAS MY DADDY WAY BEFORE HE WAS YOUR BOYFRIEND. 407 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:15,960 LISTEN, I THINK YOU'D BETTER GROW UP. 408 00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:17,462 GEORGE AND I ARE A THING, 409 00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:19,430 AND YOU JUST BETTER GET USED TO IT, MISSY. 410 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:22,899 WELL, YOU JUST BETTER GET USED TO ME! 411 00:18:22,901 --> 00:18:24,635 IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG, KITTENS? 412 00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:25,569 NO! NOTHING! 413 00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:32,142 OK. WE'RE BACK. 414 00:18:32,144 --> 00:18:34,178 LET'S GO TO THE PHONES. WHO'S ON? 415 00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:35,413 NOBODY. 416 00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:37,915 YEAH. WE HAVEN'T HAD A CALL 417 00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:40,284 SINCE YOU MADE FUN OF THAT LADY'S DEAD CAT. 418 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,753 MAYBE WE NEED A NEW TOPIC. 419 00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:44,755 OOH, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 420 00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:48,259 HEY! LET'S GO ONE-ON-ONE WITH NINA CAMPBELL. 421 00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:49,494 OK. 422 00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:52,930 OK. SO, NINA, HOW MANY DATES HAVE YOU HAD LATELY, 423 00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:53,864 LIKE ZERO? 424 00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:58,202 WHAT? 425 00:18:58,204 --> 00:19:00,604 NO, NO, NO! IT'S OK. I THINK I KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS. 426 00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:01,672 OH, REALLY? 427 00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,708 YEAH. YOU'RE A GREAT BIG LOSER. 428 00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:06,210 I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS! 429 00:19:06,212 --> 00:19:07,445 YES, YOU DO 'CAUSE YOU'RE A LOSER. 430 00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:08,612 I'M OUT OF HERE! 431 00:19:08,614 --> 00:19:10,614 WAIT, HARRY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 432 00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:12,616 WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M NOT DOING. 433 00:19:12,618 --> 00:19:15,653 I'M NOT JUST SITTING THERE BEING A PIMPLE RANCHER. 434 00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:20,124 HOW'S THE NEW CROP THIS YEAR, TEEN BOY? 435 00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:21,125 THIS IS OVER. 436 00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:22,259 I AM GONE! 437 00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:24,628 OH, GO! LEAVE! 438 00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:27,932 I DON'T CARE. I DON'T NEED ANY OF YOU. 439 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:33,137 COME BAAACK! 440 00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:34,571 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 441 00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:39,877 HEY, SALLY. 442 00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:40,878 HEY, GEORGE. 443 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,880 LISTEN, WE HAVE TO TALK. 444 00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:44,314 WELL, COME IN. 445 00:19:47,453 --> 00:19:48,953 WHAT'S THE MATTER? 446 00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:50,955 WELL, UM, I'VE BEEN THINKING. 447 00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:54,992 AND, UH, I THINK WE SHOULD COOL THINGS OFF A BIT. 448 00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:59,663 OH, IF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERY SECRETARY I'VE SAID THAT TO. 449 00:19:59,665 --> 00:20:02,166 NO, NO, NO, I'M SERIOUS. 450 00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:03,434 WELL, WHY? 451 00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:07,170 WELL, I JUST-- I'M NOT READY TO BE WITH SOMEBODY 452 00:20:07,172 --> 00:20:08,606 WHO HAS CHILDREN. 453 00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:13,377 WHAT, MARY? SHE REALLY CAN TAKE CARE OF HERSELF. 454 00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,880 OH, LET'S NOT FOOL OURSELVES, GEORGE. 455 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:18,883 SHE'S GONNA BE A LOT OF WORK. 456 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:21,786 YOU CAN'T JUST IGNORE HER. YOU KNOW THAT. 457 00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:23,687 SHE'S OLD. 458 00:20:25,691 --> 00:20:27,691 THIS ISN'T EASY FOR ME, OK? 459 00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:31,695 I DON'T WANT TO PENALIZE YOU FOR BEING A GREAT DAD. 460 00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:34,298 IT'S JUST-- I HAVE TO BE SELFISH HERE. 461 00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:37,301 I KNEW I SHOULD'VE CLOSED THIS DEAL THE NIGHT WE MET. 462 00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:38,535 I KNEW THAT. 463 00:20:39,705 --> 00:20:41,972 I THINK MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO BACK TO YOUR WIFE. 464 00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:43,974 AW... 465 00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:47,077 WELL, I USUALLY DO. 466 00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:51,215 WELL, THERE YOU GO. 467 00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:53,817 BYE, SUGAR. 468 00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:58,589 SALLY. 469 00:20:58,591 --> 00:20:59,923 ALBRIGHT. 470 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:03,160 LOOK. I'M SORRY FOR THE WAY I ACTED THE OTHER NIGHT. 471 00:21:03,162 --> 00:21:04,728 MAYBE WE SHOULD ALL TALK THIS OUT. 472 00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:07,164 NO. THERE'S NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT. MARTHA AND I-- 473 00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:08,632 I'M GOING BACK TO MOTHER. 474 00:21:08,634 --> 00:21:09,633 REALLY?! 475 00:21:09,635 --> 00:21:11,135 YEAH, HE IS. 476 00:21:11,137 --> 00:21:13,637 AND I'M SORRY IF THIS CAUSED 477 00:21:13,639 --> 00:21:15,639 ANY FRICTION IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP. 478 00:21:15,641 --> 00:21:19,276 BUT, MARY, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW SOMETHING. 479 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,645 I COULD'VE HAD HIM. 480 00:21:33,192 --> 00:21:36,927 SHE AIN'T LYING. 481 00:21:36,929 --> 00:21:39,863 CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org-- 482 00:21:43,002 --> 00:21:45,235 DAD, ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVE EVERYTHING? 483 00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:46,170 YEAH. 484 00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:53,778 MARY, I WOULDN'T MENTION THIS SALLY THING TO MOTHER. 485 00:21:53,780 --> 00:21:57,014 GEE, DAD, I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THAT. 486 00:21:57,016 --> 00:21:58,516 HERE. 487 00:22:00,752 --> 00:22:02,820 MY LIPS ARE SEALED.