1
00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:07,806
SHE THINKS SHE IS ALL THAT,
BUT SHE IS NOT ALL THAT.
2
00:00:07,808 --> 00:00:12,811
OH, NO, GIRLFRIEND,
DO NOT GO THERE.
DO NOT GO THERE!
3
00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:15,480
OH, DAMN!
SHE WENT THERE.
4
00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:20,084
WELL, I BETTER GET
BACK TO THE STATION.
5
00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:21,219
TIME TO GO ON DUTY?
6
00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:24,722
NO. I'M ON DUTY.
IT'S TIME TO PUNCH OUT.
7
00:00:24,724 --> 00:00:27,159
WELL, I'LL SEE YOU
THURSDAY, TOMMY,
AT CAREER DAY.
8
00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:28,293
CAREER DAY?
9
00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:30,728
WHAT CAREER DAY?
I'VE HEARD NOTHING OF THIS.
10
00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:33,665
IT'S NOTHING, DICK.
IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF BORES
11
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,733
BLABBING ON
ABOUT WHAT THEY DO.
12
00:00:35,735 --> 00:00:37,235
YOU WOULDN'T
BE INTERESTED.
13
00:00:37,237 --> 00:00:40,972
WAIT. DICK
NOT INTERESTED IN
TALKING ABOUT HIMSELF?
14
00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:43,308
I KNOW! THAT'S INSANE.
15
00:00:44,577 --> 00:00:46,178
OH, DON'T BE SILLY, TOMMY.
16
00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:47,979
ONCE YOUR CLASSMATES
HEAR ME SPEAK,
17
00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:49,815
YOU'LL BE THE TOAST
OF THE SCHOOL.
18
00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:51,316
ARE YOU KIDDING,
DICK?
19
00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:52,817
YOU'RE A PHYSICS
PROFESSOR.
20
00:00:52,819 --> 00:00:55,754
I MEAN,
THAT'S ALMOST
AS DORKY AS...
21
00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:00,992
I GOT NOTHING.
22
00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:02,428
I'M STUMPED.
23
00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:03,929
THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!
24
00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:05,564
I'M WISE. I'M REVERED.
25
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:08,567
AND I WORK DAMN HARD!
WHO DO YOU THINK
PUTS FOOD ON THE TABLE?
26
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:09,834
I PUT IT THERE.
27
00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:11,170
I'M GOING WITH
AMERICA'S FARMERS.
28
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:12,504
THERE'S FOOD
ON THE TABLE?
29
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,006
OH, NOW, STOP IT.
30
00:01:14,008 --> 00:01:15,740
IF YOU PEOPLE
THINK IT'S SO EASY,
31
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,510
WHY DON'T YOU GET A JOB
AND WORK FOR A CHANGE?
32
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:20,579
I'M GLAD THAT
WAS A QUESTION
AND NOT AN ORDER.
33
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,213
Dick: IT'S AN ORDER!
34
00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:24,716
WELL, I'M GLAD IT'S AN ORDER
AND NOT A DIRECT ORDER.
35
00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:26,818
Dick:
IT'S A DIRECT ORDER!
36
00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:28,319
I'M GLAD IT'S
A DIRECT ORDER--
37
00:01:28,321 --> 00:01:30,789
Dick: GO GET THE WANT ADS!
38
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,095
HEY, GUYS.
39
00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:11,096
IS DICK HERE?
40
00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:12,097
NO.
41
00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:13,364
I WANTED TO TALK TO HIM.
42
00:02:13,366 --> 00:02:14,366
WHY?
43
00:02:14,368 --> 00:02:15,367
WELL, I'M LOOKING FOR WORK.
44
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:16,501
THERE WERE SOME SWEET GIGS
45
00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:18,436
ON THE PENDLETON
RESEARCH BOARD,
46
00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:20,138
BUT I DON'T KNOW
WHICH ONE TO DO, LIKE HERE.
47
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,273
I CAN GET 50 BUCKS
48
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:23,508
IF I LET THEM RUB SOLVENTS
IN MY EYES.
49
00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:28,180
OH, SALLY,
THAT--THAT'S NOT GOOD.
50
00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:30,182
REALLY? WELL,
I COULD SIGN UP
51
00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:31,183
FOR THE HORNET STING
STUDY,
52
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:32,618
BUT I DIDN'T BRING
A SWIMSUIT.
53
00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:36,588
DR. ALBRIGHT IS LOOKING
FOR A RESEARCH ASSISTANT.
54
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:37,923
REALLY?!
55
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:39,324
UH...
56
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,827
YES, BUT IT'S
JUST GRUNT WORK.
57
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:44,296
I MEAN, IT DOESN'T PAY
HORNET STUDY MONEY.
58
00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:45,997
OH, THAT'S OK.
WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?
59
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,767
UH, WELL, I'M GIVING
A TALK NEXT WEEK
60
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,001
AT THE FACULTY CLUB.
61
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,969
SOME BOLIVIAN PROFESSORS
WILL BE THERE,
62
00:02:51,971 --> 00:02:53,638
AND I'M GOING TO BE
DISCUSSING THE CULTURE
63
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:55,273
OF THE AYMARA INDIANS.
64
00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:56,541
AND I'M YOUR DATE?
65
00:02:57,644 --> 00:02:59,644
NO. YOU'RE MY FACT CHECKER.
66
00:02:59,646 --> 00:03:01,646
YOU JUST GO TO THE LIBRARY
67
00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:04,049
AND MAKE SURE ALL
MY INFORMATION IS ACCURATE.
68
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,884
HMM, I WOULD'VE GONE
WITH THE HORNETS.
69
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:07,386
GOOD MORNING, MARY.
70
00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:08,387
GOOD MORNING.
71
00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:10,321
SALLY, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
72
00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:12,390
OH, I'M DOING SOME
ANTHROPOLOGY STUFF
FOR ALBRIGHT.
73
00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:13,492
YOU'RE WHAT?!
74
00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:14,993
SEE YA, BOSS.
75
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:16,661
WELL, THAT'S JUST GREAT!
76
00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:19,397
YOU NEVER SHOW
ANY INTEREST IN PHYSICS!
77
00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:22,400
WELL, DICK, THERE'S
GOOD REASON FOR THAT.
78
00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:24,002
IT'S PHYSICS.
79
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:26,605
LIKE ANTHROPOLOGY
IS SO HOT?
80
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,607
I MEAN, SURE,
THERE'S NAKED PEOPLE,
81
00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:31,410
BUT...ONCE
YOU GET PAST THAT,
82
00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:33,345
IT'S REALLY JUST...
83
00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:34,780
WHAT?
84
00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:37,683
I DON'T KNOW.
I CAN'T GET PAST
THE NAKED PEOPLE.
85
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:49,928
YOU KNOW HOW
THEY SAY IF YOU
REALLY WANT A JOB,
86
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:52,631
IT'LL JUST FALL
RIGHT IN YOUR LAP?
87
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:54,132
UH, NO.
88
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:59,538
AND HOW DESPERATION
IS THE SUREST ROAD
TO SUCCESS.
89
00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:01,873
I NEVER HEARD THAT.
90
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:04,443
WHY DO THEY SAY
THOSE THINGS? WHY?
91
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:07,345
I'M NOT SURE THEY DO.
92
00:04:07,347 --> 00:04:09,347
I FELL FOR THE LIES.
93
00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:11,850
POUNDED THE PAVEMENT,
AND NOW HERE I AM.
94
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:14,853
THERE ARE NO JOBS
FOR GUYS LIKE ME.
95
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:17,722
YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN
LOOKING FOR A NEW BARTENDER
FOR A WHILE NOW.
96
00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:22,327
DO YOU MIND, BUDDY?
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
MY PROBLEMS NOW.
97
00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:25,730
I'M SAYING I NEED
SOMEBODY TO START TODAY.
98
00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:29,468
UH, YEAH. WELL, I GUESS
YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK.
99
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,203
WHY, WHAT DO YOU
GOT GOING ON?
100
00:04:31,205 --> 00:04:34,139
I'M LOOKING FOR A JOB,
BRAINIAC!
101
00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:38,377
MORNING, CLASS, I'M...
102
00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:39,378
SORRY I'M...
103
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:40,445
SO LATE.
104
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,914
A FUNNY THING
HAPPENED TODAY.
105
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,416
I LEARNED THAT THERE IS
A, UH, A...
106
00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:46,918
SMALL GROUP OF PEOPLE
107
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:50,856
THAT DOESN'T FIND PHYSICS
ABSOLUTELY EXHILARATING.
108
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:54,259
ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS?
109
00:04:58,998 --> 00:04:59,997
EXACTLY.
110
00:04:59,999 --> 00:05:01,433
SO I WAS WONDERING,
111
00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:03,234
WHAT DROVE YOU TO TAKE IT?
112
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:04,936
WELL, UH, IT'S REQUIRED.
113
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,571
AND WE WANT
TO GRADUATE.
114
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:09,941
SO THAT'S ALL THAT BRINGS
YOU BACK TO MY CLASS,
A REQUIREMENT?
115
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:12,844
NOT ONE OF YOU YEARNS
FOR A CAREER IN PHYSICS?
116
00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:18,450
NOT ONE SOUL LONGS TO MAKE
PHYSICS HIS LIFEWORK?
117
00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:22,954
NOT ONE AMONG YOU
ASPIRES TO PLACE PHYSICS--
118
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,289
DR. SOLOMON.
119
00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:27,525
LEON, PLEASE,
TELL ME YOU HAVE TO PEE.
120
00:05:32,198 --> 00:05:33,197
GUESS WHAT.
121
00:05:33,199 --> 00:05:34,198
WHAT?
122
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,435
I FOUND A MISTAKE
IN YOUR SPEECH.
123
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:40,505
OH. OK.
LET'S HEAR IT.
124
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:44,375
OK. THIS IS
SO GREAT. OK.
125
00:05:44,377 --> 00:05:45,977
HERE ON PAGE 2,
126
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:49,180
YOU SAY THERE AREN'T
ANY AYMARAN COMMUNITIES
ON THE HIGH PLAINS,
127
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,483
BUT DIRKSON'S SURVEY
SAYS THERE ARE.
128
00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:53,018
NO, THERE AREN'T.
129
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,386
YEAH, BUT DIRKSON
SAYS THERE ARE.
130
00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,856
ALL RIGHT. MAYBE
THERE'S ONE OR TWO,
131
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:00,525
BUT MY POINT STILL STANDS.
132
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,027
NO. OK,
BUT DIRKSON SAYS--
133
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,929
FORGET DIRKSON!
134
00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:06,932
JUST GO BACK THERE
AND CONCENTRATE ON--
135
00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:11,369
ON PLACE NAMES
AND SPELLINGS AND
THINGS LIKE THAT.
136
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,838
OK?
137
00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:18,310
MAN, WHO DIED
AND MADE HER DIRKSON?
138
00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:20,812
LOOK, SALLY,
IF YOU'RE GONNA WORK
FOR DR. ALBRIGHT,
139
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:23,381
THERE ARE A COUPLE
OF THINGS YOU NEED
TO UNDERSTAND.
140
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,784
ONE: SHE DOESN'T
LIKE TO BE CORRECTED
WHEN SHE'S WRONG.
141
00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:29,421
AND TWO:
SHE'S OFTEN WRONG.
142
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:31,423
WAIT, WAIT.
SO I SHOULDN'T TELL HER
143
00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:34,492
HER BREATH SMELLS LIKE
A SOCK FULL OF HORSERADISH?
144
00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:35,994
I DIDN'T.
145
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,400
BUT, HEY,
THAT'S MY BOSS.
146
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,402
I JUST CAN'T
PLEASE HIM.
147
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,505
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA DO?
148
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:49,941
EXACTLY.
I JUST CAN'T WIN.
149
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:52,477
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA DO?
150
00:06:54,113 --> 00:06:55,246
YOU SAID IT.
151
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,181
YOU KNOW, I GOT A FAMILY
TO THINK ABOUT.
152
00:06:57,183 --> 00:06:59,216
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
153
00:06:59,218 --> 00:07:01,218
HEY, YOU KNOW
YOU'RE RIGHT.
154
00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:02,720
TOMORROW, I'M
GOING DOWN THERE,
155
00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:05,122
AND I'M GONNA
TELL HIM WHAT HE
CAN DO WITH HIS JOB.
156
00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:07,024
HARRY, THANKS
FOR LISTENING.
157
00:07:07,026 --> 00:07:09,860
HEY, WHAT AM I
GONNA DO?
158
00:07:09,862 --> 00:07:11,796
HARRY,
I NEED A DRINK.
159
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:13,030
YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE.
160
00:07:13,032 --> 00:07:15,466
I GOT THE WHOLE TOWN
OF RUTHERFORD DRINKING AGAIN.
161
00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:16,634
HARRY!
162
00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:18,603
ALL RIGHT!
163
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,105
WHAT IS WRONG
WITH THIS WORLD?
164
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:23,174
YOU DOLE OUT MOONSHINE
TO A ROOMFUL OF BOOZEHOUNDS
165
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:24,609
AND EVERYBODY LOVES YOU,
166
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:28,613
WHILE I SHAPE YOUNG MINDS
WITH THE ELEGANT LAWS
OF PHYSICS,
167
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,382
AND WHAT DO I GET?
NOTHING.
168
00:07:30,384 --> 00:07:31,883
HERE'S THE DEAL, DICK.
169
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:34,886
AROUND HERE,
A GUY CAN'T EVEN GIVE
PEACH SCHNAPPS AWAY.
170
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:39,391
BUT YOU PUT IT
IN A PINEAPPLE GLASS,
ADD A LITTLE UMBRELLA,
171
00:07:39,393 --> 00:07:42,327
CALL IT A SHOOTER,
I CAN'T MAKE 'EM
FAST ENOUGH.
172
00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:45,630
HARRY, THAT'S BRILLIANT!
173
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:48,333
YOU'RE SAYING
I GOTTA GIVE PHYSICS
A LITTLE RAZZLE-DAZZLE,
174
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:49,334
RIGHT?
175
00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:50,468
OK.
176
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,404
OF COURSE! THIS
IS THE NINETIES.
177
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:56,440
KIDS WANT WHAT'S COOL.
THEY WANT THE LATEST,
THE HERE AND NOW.
178
00:07:56,442 --> 00:07:57,908
THEY WANT THE FONZ!
179
00:07:57,910 --> 00:08:00,178
AYYY!
180
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,579
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
181
00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:04,515
I'M GOING TO CAREER DAY!
182
00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:07,985
ALL RIGHT!
YOU DO THAT!
183
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,588
WHAT AN IDIOT.
184
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:14,225
HARRY, DID SOME JOKER
PUT MY NUMBER UP
185
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:16,061
ON THE MEN'S ROOM WALL?
186
00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:17,796
OOH, I DON'T THINK SO.
187
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:21,566
WELL, BE A DOLL
AND PUT IT UP THERE,
WILL YA...
188
00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:24,169
BEFORE THAT BIG GUY WITH
THE BEARD TAKES A LEAK?
189
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,140
HI. AM I INTERRUPTING?
190
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,875
NO. COME IN.
191
00:08:30,877 --> 00:08:33,578
WHAT'S WRONG?
FIND ANOTHER MISTAKE?
192
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:34,880
NO. NOTHING.
193
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,114
REALLY?
194
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:38,383
REALLY. I WENT
THROUGH IT WITH
A FINE-TOOTH COMB.
195
00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:39,885
THIS BABY IS GOLD.
196
00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:41,252
GREAT.
197
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:43,387
WHAT ABOUT
THE POPULATION
OF CIRCUATA?
198
00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:44,856
I WAS JUST
GUESSING ON IT.
199
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,290
THAT WAS A GUESS?
200
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:47,692
YOU NAILED IT!
201
00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:52,497
WELL, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN
PRETTY GOOD WITH TRENDS
202
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:54,198
IN THAT PART
OF THE HEMISPHERE.
203
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,200
LISTEN,
I GOTTA TELL YOU,
204
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,602
AFTER READING DIRKSON,
YOUR STUFF WAS REFRESHING.
205
00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:03,141
BUT SUBSTANTIAL,
LIKE, UH, GATORADE,
BUT WITH MEAT IN IT.
206
00:09:04,777 --> 00:09:07,245
SALLY, LET ME
BUY YOU LUNCH.
207
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:08,747
WE CAN GO
TO THE OAK ROOM.
208
00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:10,081
THE OAK ROOM?
209
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,616
YOU DESERVE A TREAT.
210
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:13,618
WELL, I SPENT THE DAY
WITH YOUR SPEECH.
211
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,720
I THINK I'VE HAD MY TREAT.
212
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:19,357
DEAR GOD!
213
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,861
THEY HAVE
CHOCOLATE CHEESECAKE.
214
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:25,997
OF COURSE, I SHOULD
PROBABLY JUST APPLY IT
DIRECTLY TO MY THIGHS.
215
00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:28,233
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
216
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,800
THAT'S, OH, SO FUNNY!
217
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:36,307
OH, YEAH. ALL RIGHT.
218
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:41,446
STEP RIGHT UP, KIDS, AND
MEET THE GIRLS OF PHYSICS.
219
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:45,150
EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM
A BUNDLE OF MASS AND ENERGY.
220
00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:47,285
ARE YOU
REALLY A LICENSED
BIKINI INSPECTOR?
221
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:50,889
UH, KIND OF.
I'M A PHYSICS PROFESSOR,
YOU UNDERSTAND?
222
00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:53,391
NOW, FRIENDS, LET ME
TELL YOU ABOUT A LITTLE
THING CALLED PHYSICS.
223
00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:55,860
YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES A CAR
GO FAST? PHYSICS.
224
00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:58,863
AND YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES
A CURVE BALL CURVE?
WHY, PHYSICS!
225
00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,865
AND YOU KNOW
WHAT'S GOT ME STANDING HERE
226
00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:02,867
INSTEAD OF
FLOATING OUT THE WINDOW
LIKE A PUFF OF SMOKE?
227
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:04,368
INERTIA,
WITH A CAPITAL "I."
228
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:06,404
THAT RHYMES WITH PI,
AND THAT STARTS WITH "P,"
229
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,106
AND THAT STANDS FOR PHYSICS.
230
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:13,444
YOUR FATHER IS AN INSULT
TO THIS ENTIRE SCHOOL.
231
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,780
I DON'T SEE
YOUR DAD HERE.
232
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:18,850
UH, MY DAD IS
PERFORMING OPEN-HEART
SURGERY RIGHT NOW.
233
00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:22,887
OH, COULDN'T CUT IT
AS A BRAIN SURGEON?
234
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:27,358
NOW, LET ME TELL YOU
ABOUT SOMETHING
THAT'S REALLY HOT.
235
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:30,428
INASMUCH AS "E" EQUALS
COSINE "M" PLUS "I" SINE "M,"
236
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,930
WE GET ARBITRARY VALUES
OF THE SEPARATION CONSTANT "P."
237
00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:34,232
NOW, WATCH THIS.
238
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:36,233
I'M SORRY I'M LATE, KIDS,
239
00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:39,804
BUT I WAS INVOLVED
IN ONE OF THE WORLD'S
SCARIEST POLICE CHASES.
240
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,105
HOW'D IT END?
241
00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:42,140
THE GUY GOT AWAY.
242
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,341
OHHH!
243
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:45,510
BUT I ROLLED MY CAR.
244
00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:47,445
COOL!
COOL!
245
00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:49,480
OH, MAN,
I WANT TO BE A COP.
246
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:52,483
IT'S NOT ALL GLAMOUR, KIDS,
BUT IT'S MOSTLY GLAMOUR.
247
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:55,019
OH, AND, UH, GUNS.
248
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:56,688
COOL!
COOL!
249
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:59,657
AND WHAT MAKES
THAT POLICEMAN'S GUN
SO COOL? PHYSICS!
250
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,993
KINETIC ENERGY
GENERATES THE VELOCITY
251
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,427
WITH WHICH THE BULLET
EXITS THE BARREL,
252
00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:05,964
WHILE THE BALLISTIC
COEFFICIENT
AND SECTIONAL DENSITY
253
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:07,866
DETERMINE THE DAMAGE
TO ITS TARGETS.
254
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:11,335
GUNS DON'T KILL PEOPLE.
PHYSICS KILLS PEOPLE!
255
00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:15,840
OOHHH. OHH!
256
00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:26,417
[SNAPS FINGERS]
257
00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:31,088
TONY!
258
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:45,570
DICK, I TOLD YOU,
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE
COME TO CAREER DAY.
259
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:48,306
OH, WHEN WE FIRST
CAME TO THIS PLANET,
I COULD'VE GOTTEN ANY JOB.
260
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:51,509
COWBOY, ROCK STAR,
INTERNATIONAL SUPERSPY.
261
00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:53,778
WHY DID I CHOOSE PHYSICS?
262
00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:56,281
DICK, YOU KNOW
WHAT THEY SAY.
263
00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,716
WHEN LIFE
GIVES YOU LEMONS,
264
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,286
JUST SHUT UP AND
EAT THE DAMN LEMONS.
265
00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:02,787
WELL, I'VE HAD IT.
266
00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:05,790
I RENOUNCE PHYSICS AND
ALL ITS USES AND APPLICATIONS,
267
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:07,792
INCLUDING CONSERVATION
OF MOMENTUM.
268
00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:08,793
WHOO HOO HOO.
269
00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:10,127
I'M OUT. I'M OUT.
270
00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:11,128
HEY, GUYS.
271
00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:12,397
HEY.
YO, DUBIE.
272
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,898
GIVE ME A MARGARITA,
HARRY.
273
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,232
WHAT ABOUT
YOUR JOB?
274
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:17,101
I'M ON THE JOB
RIGHT NOW, BABY.
ROCKS, NO SALT.
275
00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:19,270
ARE YOU TELLING ME
THAT MARY'S PRESENTATION
IS ALREADY PERFECT?
276
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:22,207
WELL, SHE THINKS IT IS,
AND I'M GETTING PAID
NOT TO ARGUE. KA-CHING!
277
00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:23,274
[DING]
278
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:24,675
YOU GOT LUCKY,
DAMN YOU.
279
00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:26,845
I'LL TELL YOU THE SECRET.
YOU JUST PUCKER UP,
280
00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:30,214
VAPOR-LOCK ONTO YOUR
BOSS' BUTT, AND HOLD ON.
281
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:33,184
NO INDEPENDENT THOUGHT
REQUIRED.
282
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:35,686
IN FACT, IT
JUST GETS IN YOUR WAY.
283
00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:38,189
FREE THINKERS
DIE IN THE DIRT
LIKE DOGS, SALLY.
284
00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:39,590
HERE'S YOUR BOOZE.
285
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:40,858
SALLY.
286
00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:42,860
DUBIE, MY HOLLOW-LEGGED
LADY FRIEND.
287
00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:46,363
ONE-EYED JIMMY'S
GONNA GO OUT BACK
AND FIGHT A MIDGET.
288
00:12:46,365 --> 00:12:47,765
YOU WANNA WATCH?
289
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,300
YEAH. LET'S GO.
290
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:50,701
CITIZENS.
291
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:53,204
AH, WHAT'LL IT BE,
OFFICER?
292
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:55,773
OH, I'M JUST
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
CHECKING THINGS OUT.
293
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,808
YOU GOT IT.
ONE FREE CHEESEBURGER.
294
00:12:57,810 --> 00:12:59,277
DON'T BE STINGY
WITH THE ONIONS.
295
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,878
HARRY, I'D LIKE
A FREE CHEESEBURGER.
296
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,146
YOU GOT IT.
THAT'LL BE 6 BUCKS.
297
00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:04,715
OH! THAT'S IT!
I WANT A NEW JOB!
298
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:07,886
A JOB THAT COMES
WITH RESPECT, STATURE,
AND FREE CHEESEBURGERS.
299
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:09,253
I WANT YOUR JOB.
300
00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:11,722
DICK, YOU DON'T KNOW
THE FIRST THING
ABOUT BEING A COP.
301
00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:15,659
IT'S A GRITTY JOB
WHERE A GOOD DAY IS ONE
WHERE YOU COME HOME ALIVE.
302
00:13:15,661 --> 00:13:18,596
ISN'T THAT PRETTY MUCH
A GOOD DAY FOR ANYONE?
303
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,233
[POLICE RADIO CHATTER]
304
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:24,235
I GOTTA GO BACK
TO THE STATION.
305
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:25,603
THEY'RE BRINGING IN
A SUSPECT.
306
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:26,937
HEY, DON,
I WANT TO GO.
307
00:13:26,939 --> 00:13:29,173
I WANT TO HOLD A GUN
AND FLASH A BADGE.
308
00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:31,609
I DON'T KNOW, DICK.
IT'S ILLEGAL,
IT'S DANGEROUS,
309
00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:34,678
AND IT VIOLATES
THE SACRED OATH I TOOK
WHEN I JOINED THE FORCE.
310
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:36,447
SO DON'T TELL ANYONE.
311
00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:37,681
LET'S GO!
312
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,020
ALL RIGHT, DICK.
WE'RE GONNA GO IN THERE.
313
00:13:43,022 --> 00:13:45,256
WE'RE GONNA DO A LITTLE
THING WE LIKE TO CALL
314
00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:46,757
"GOOD COP, BAD COP."
315
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:48,092
YOU'RE GOOD COP.
316
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:49,326
I'M DOWN WITH THAT.
317
00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,428
I'M GLAD. ALL RIGHT,
HERE WE GO.
318
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:58,503
HI, JONESY, I'M DICK.
I LIKE YOUR SHIRT.
319
00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:03,641
SO, YOU SAY THAT YOU
DIDN'T ROB ANY GAS STATION.
320
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,809
RIGHT, JONESY?
YEAH.
321
00:14:05,811 --> 00:14:07,278
RIGHT. NOW, I--
322
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,480
I BELIEVE YOU, BUT...
323
00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,048
THE THING IS...
324
00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:12,049
YOU'RE SCUM!
325
00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:13,985
I FIND CHUNKS OF YOU
IN MY PUKE!
326
00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:15,819
SO DON'T YOU
JERK ME AROUND!
327
00:14:15,821 --> 00:14:16,820
DICK!
328
00:14:16,822 --> 00:14:18,322
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
329
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,593
YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE GOOD COP.
330
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:23,594
I AM!
331
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:24,929
YOU'RE RAISING
THE BAR TOO HIGH.
332
00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:26,430
YOU KNOW HOW BAD
I HAVE TO BE NOW?
333
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:27,665
REAL BAD!
334
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,267
I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF.
335
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:30,834
WHY DON'T YOU BE GOOD COP?
336
00:14:30,836 --> 00:14:32,870
THAT WAY, I CAN
GO AS BIG AS I WANT.
337
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:36,641
OK, I'LL
BE GOOD COP.
338
00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:42,179
OH, WELL, YOU'LL HAVE TO,
UH, EXCUSE MY PARTNER.
339
00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:44,348
HE'S GOT
A REAL MEAN STREAK,
340
00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:47,184
BUT...I WANT
TO HELP YOU OUT.
341
00:14:47,186 --> 00:14:49,687
SEE, I KNOW
THAT YOU'RE A NICE--
342
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:50,622
OH!
343
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,056
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
344
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:54,958
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?
345
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,360
I'M ALWAYS GOOD COP.
346
00:14:56,362 --> 00:14:58,429
THIS WAS MY ONE CHANCE
TO BE BAD COP.
347
00:14:58,431 --> 00:14:59,797
BUT I'M
A BAD GOOD COP.
348
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:01,032
YOU'RE
NOT EVEN A COP!
349
00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:02,900
WELL, CAN'T WE
BOTH BE BAD COP?
350
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,968
BUT THE WHOLE
CONCEPT IS--
351
00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:05,903
OH, WHATEVER.
352
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:10,241
NOW I WANT ANSWERS!
353
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,276
AND I REALLY
WANT ANSWERS!
354
00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:19,216
THANK YOU
FOR INVITING ME
TO YOUR CONFERENCE.
355
00:15:19,218 --> 00:15:21,152
HOW DO I LOOK?
356
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:22,987
YOU LOOK FINE.
357
00:15:22,989 --> 00:15:25,389
I LOVE BOLIVIAN MEN.
358
00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:28,826
THEY'RE LIKE HONDURANS
WITHOUT ALL THE ATTITUDE.
359
00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,161
GOOD AFTERNOON, LADIES.
360
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:31,529
OH, DR. ALBRIGHT,
361
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:33,164
WHAT A GREAT SUIT!
362
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:35,500
WELL, THANK YOU,
SALLY.
363
00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:39,503
SALLY, YOU SMELL
LIKE JAGERMEISTER.
364
00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:43,240
SOMEBODY SPILLED IT ON ME
IN THE LIBRARY.
365
00:15:43,242 --> 00:15:46,177
WELL, ONCE AGAIN,
I WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY.
366
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,345
IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER,
367
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:49,213
I'D SWEAR YOU WERE A MORON.
368
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:53,517
AYMARAN.
369
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:54,452
AYMARAN.
370
00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:01,692
COME ON.
WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS.
371
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:03,394
YOU DID IT, RIGHT?
372
00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:05,997
NO.
373
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:06,998
COME ON.
374
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,167
YOU CAN TELL US.
375
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,235
NO.
I DIDN'T DO IT.
376
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,976
WELL, SO MUCH FOR
GOOD COP, GOOD COP.
377
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,311
THERE'S NO SUCH THING!
378
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,380
I TOLD YOU, THERE'S
ONLY ONE PERMUTATION
THAT WORKS.
379
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:24,382
OK.
I HAVE THIS IDEA.
380
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,250
SAD COP, SOMEWHAT
EFFEMINATE COP.
381
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:27,251
GET OUT!
382
00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:28,486
GO HOME, DICK.
383
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,154
YOU ARE NOT
COP MATERIAL.
384
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,222
I HAVE TO BE!
385
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:32,490
IT'S NOT YOU.
IT'S JUST NOT YOU.
386
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:33,991
YOU'RE RIGHT.
387
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,959
APPARENTLY, I WAS
PUT ON THIS EARTH
388
00:16:35,961 --> 00:16:39,330
TO BORE A BUNCH
OF UNRECEPTIVE DIMWITS
TO THE END OF MY DAYS.
389
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,998
IT'S MY LOT IN LIFE.
390
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,234
WELL, I THINK WE BOTH
LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY.
LET'S HAVE LUNCH SOMETIME.
391
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:46,671
LOOK.
392
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,172
WHY DON'T YOU
JUST LET ME GO?
393
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:50,174
BECAUSE I KNOW
YOU DID IT, JONESY!
394
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:52,176
YOU JUMPED THE FENCE,
AND YOU STOLE THE MONEY.
395
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,677
BUT YOU
GOT NO PROOF.
396
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,814
BESIDES, I COULDN'T
JUMP THAT FENCE.
397
00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:58,983
IT'S PHYSICALLY
IMPOSSIBLE.
398
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,619
PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE?
399
00:17:02,621 --> 00:17:05,022
THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG.
400
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,424
YOU MAY NOT HAVE MUCH RESPECT
FOR THE LAW, JONESY,
401
00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:09,193
BUT THERE'S ONE LAW
THAT YOU CAN'T BREAK:
402
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:13,397
COULOMB'S THIRD LAW
OF UNIVERSAL GRAVITATION.
403
00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:14,698
WHAT?
404
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,700
IT STATES THAT THE FORCE
BETWEEN 2 OBJECTS
405
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:19,703
IS PROPORTIONAL
TO THE ALGEBRAIC PRODUCTS
OF THEIR RESPECTIVE CHARGES,
406
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,206
AS WELL AS PROPORTIONAL
TO THE INVERSE SQUARE
407
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,641
OF THE DISTANCE
BETWEEN THEM!
408
00:17:24,643 --> 00:17:28,212
BUT OF COURSE, YOU KNEW THAT,
DIDN'T YOU, JONESY?
409
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,813
NOT--NOT ALL OF IT.
410
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:32,983
YOU'RE OBJECT "X,"
411
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:35,118
AND THE FENCE
IS OBJECT "Y."
412
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,221
NOW, WHERE "V" IS
THE VELOCITY OF THE 2 OBJECTS,
413
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:39,223
AND "R" IS THE DISTANCE
BETWEEN THEM,
414
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:42,226
AND "E" IS A UNIT VECTOR
DIRECTED FROM THE FIRST
OBJECT TO THE SECOND,
415
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,828
WE SEE THAT THE FENCE
PROVED LITTLE CHALLENGE.
416
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:46,964
WELL...I GUESS.
417
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:49,166
YOU GUESS!
I BET YOU GUESS.
418
00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:51,669
AND SO WE SEE
THAT "X" EQUALS ZERO
419
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:54,171
AS "Y" APPROACHES INFINITY!
420
00:17:54,173 --> 00:17:56,007
THAT'S HOW YOU AVOIDED
THE SECURITY CAMERA.
421
00:17:56,009 --> 00:17:58,342
THAT'S HOW YOU MANAGED
TO GET BACK OVER THE FENCE.
422
00:17:58,344 --> 00:18:01,278
THAT'S HOW THEY FOUND YOU
EXACTLY 1.3 MILES
FROM THE CRIME SCENE,
423
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,413
PROVING THAT YOU
AND ONLY YOU
424
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,281
COULD HAVE PERPETRATED
THIS HEINOUS CRIME!
425
00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:05,450
THERE'S THE PROOF!
426
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:07,618
OK! OK! OK!
YOU GOT ME!
427
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,954
I DID IT!
I DID IT!
428
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,956
MY GOD! WHAT KIND
OF A COP ARE YOU?
429
00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:13,624
I'M NOT A COP!
430
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:16,460
I'M A PHYSICS PROFESSOR!
431
00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:24,635
OF COURSE, MY DAD
DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.
432
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,037
HE NEVER DID.
433
00:18:26,039 --> 00:18:29,507
AND HOW DID THAT
MAKE YOU FEEL, CHET?
434
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:30,941
ANGRY.
435
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,643
WORTHLESS.
436
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:37,248
OH. BUT YOU KNOW
THAT'S NOT TRUE,
NOW, DON'T YOU, CHET?
437
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:38,749
YEAH. YEAH, I DO.
438
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,117
ALL RIGHT!
439
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,151
[SIGHS] WELL...
440
00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:42,152
[DING]
441
00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:44,187
HAPPY HOUR'S OVER, CHET.
442
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:45,923
BUT I THINK WE MADE
SOME REAL PROGRESS.
443
00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:47,391
I FEEL BETTER.
444
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:49,160
YEAH.
AND JUST REMEMBER...
445
00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:50,661
DON'T STOP DRINKING.
446
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:51,829
THANKS, HARRY.
447
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,564
ALL RIGHT, BUDDY.
448
00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:57,534
LINE 'EM UP, HARRY.
449
00:18:57,536 --> 00:18:58,535
5 MARTINIS.
450
00:18:58,537 --> 00:18:59,670
NO, HARRY.
451
00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:02,406
DR. ALBRIGHT,
WE SHOULD TAKE
YOU HOME NOW.
452
00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:05,609
NO, NINA. I HAVE
BRAIN CELLS THAT WILL
REMEMBER THIS EVENING,
453
00:19:05,611 --> 00:19:08,312
AND I WANT THEM DESTROYED!
454
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,481
HEY, DR. ALBRIGHT,
HOW DID YOUR TALK GO?
455
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,617
HOW DID MY TALK GO?
456
00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:14,118
LET'S SEE.
457
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:15,620
FIRST OF ALL,
458
00:19:15,622 --> 00:19:17,622
THE BOLIVIANS
WERE HIGHLY AMUSED
459
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,289
WHEN I CONFUSED THE NAME
OF THEIR PRESIDENT
460
00:19:19,291 --> 00:19:22,126
WITH THE WORD FOR KAYAK.
461
00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:25,362
BUT THEY STOPPED
LAUGHING WHEN...
462
00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:29,133
IN THEIR NATIVE TONGUE,
I WELCOMED THEM TO MY...
463
00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:33,404
WOMANY PLACE
AND TOLD THEM...
464
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:38,142
I TOLD THEM THERE
WAS ROOM FOR EVERYONE!
465
00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:40,645
TELL HER HOW YOU TOLD THEM
THAT THEIR COUNTRY WAS A...
466
00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,780
SHINING EXAMPLE
OF GOAT DEATH.
467
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:47,084
I HOPE THIS ISN'T
IN ANY WAY MY FAULT.
468
00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:48,952
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
469
00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:51,188
YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO CHECK THESE THINGS!
470
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,991
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
I LET YOU DOWN COMPLETELY.
471
00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:56,561
YES, YOU DID!
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
472
00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:59,163
I HAVE NO EXCUSE.
IT'S JUST--IT'S JUST...
473
00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:02,199
REALLY INTIMIDATING
WHEN YOU WORK FOR...
474
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,334
FOR WHAT?
475
00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:05,202
SAY IT.
476
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,404
A BITCH?!
477
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:10,174
NO.
478
00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:12,476
A GENIUS!
479
00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:23,053
WELL,
THAT'S NICE, BUT...
480
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,287
I'M A PROFESSIONAL,
481
00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:26,757
AND I EXPECT OTHER PEOPLE
TO BE PROFESSIONAL WITH ME.
482
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:28,259
OF COURSE YOU DO.
483
00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:30,728
GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?
484
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,731
I'VE LET DOWN THE
BRIGHTEST WOMAN ALIVE!
485
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,366
OH, GOD!
486
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:37,301
[SOBBING]
487
00:20:40,706 --> 00:20:42,072
OH, SALLY.
488
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,708
DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP.
489
00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:47,110
LET ME BUY YOU A DRINK.
490
00:20:47,112 --> 00:20:48,512
MARGARITA,
ROCKS, NO SALT.
491
00:20:48,514 --> 00:20:49,947
HARRY!
[DING]
492
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,854
AND SO, USING
COULOMB'S THIRD LAW,
493
00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:58,588
I WAS ABLE TO PROVE
THAT HE DID IT.
494
00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,057
WHAT DOES THAT
HAVE TO DO WITH IT?
495
00:21:00,059 --> 00:21:01,358
NOTHING.
496
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,327
ALL I PROVED WAS
THAT HE'S ROTATING
AROUND THE SUN.
497
00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:05,162
BUT HE
DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
498
00:21:05,164 --> 00:21:06,664
THAT'S THE WONDERFUL
THING ABOUT PHYSICS.
499
00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:08,666
NOBODY UNDERSTANDS IT.
500
00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:12,003
SO YOU CAN USE
YOUR KNOWLEDGE TO BULLY
PEOPLE INTO SUBMISSION.
501
00:21:12,005 --> 00:21:13,604
WELL,
THAT'S THE PLAN.
502
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,606
AS LONG AS AMERICA'S
EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM
503
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,174
REMAINS
WOEFULLY INADEQUATE,
504
00:21:17,176 --> 00:21:18,675
I RULE.
505
00:21:18,677 --> 00:21:20,177
YES,
YOU REALLY DO.
506
00:21:20,179 --> 00:21:21,746
WHAT YOU DO
IS AMAZING.
507
00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:22,747
THANK YOU, SALLY.
508
00:21:22,749 --> 00:21:24,348
SOMETIMES
I WISH YOU WERE DEAD
509
00:21:24,350 --> 00:21:27,184
SO THEY COULD PUT YOU
ON A STAMP.
510
00:21:29,254 --> 00:21:31,788
SALLY, YOU'RE NOT
KISSING MY BUTT,
ARE YOU?
511
00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:34,258
A MAN OF YOUR STATURE?
I WOULDN'T DARE.
512
00:21:34,260 --> 00:21:36,126
WELL, GOOD.
HERE'S 20 BUCKS.
513
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:37,928
THANKS.
514
00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:41,031
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--
515
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:45,769
NOW THAT YOU'RE
FEELING BETTER ABOUT
YOUR CAREER AGAIN,
516
00:21:45,771 --> 00:21:47,638
DO I HAVE
TO KEEP WORKING
AT THE BAR?
517
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,772
OH, NO, HARRY.
518
00:21:48,774 --> 00:21:51,275
OH, GOOD.
THERE'S JUST
TOO MUCH PRESSURE.
519
00:21:51,277 --> 00:21:53,210
ALL THOSE PEOPLE
AND THEIR PROBLEMS.
520
00:21:53,212 --> 00:21:54,911
NO. THERE'S TOO MUCH
PRESSURE IN THE SODA GUN.
521
00:21:54,913 --> 00:21:56,012
YOU COULD PUT AN EYE OUT.
522
00:21:56,014 --> 00:22:00,717
WHY DO YOU THINK THEY
CALL HIM ONE-EYED JIMMY?
523
00:22:00,719 --> 00:22:03,086
WAIT. HE LOST
HIS EYE FROM SODA?
524
00:22:03,088 --> 00:22:04,655
YEAH. ROOT BEER.
525
00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:06,156
NO WONDER HE'S ANGRY.
526
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:07,224
I WOULD BE.
527
00:22:07,226 --> 00:22:08,658
SO HOW
WAS THE FIGHT?
528
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:10,928
OH, SHORT.