1
00:00:06,239 --> 00:00:08,107
HELLO, LUCY.

2
00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:10,775
HMM.

3
00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:14,846
THAT'S A NEW TIP CUP,
ISN'T IT?

4
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,114
YES.

5
00:00:16,116 --> 00:00:17,683
I THOUGHT SO.

6
00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:20,652
GOOD-BYE.

7
00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:29,294
HOW IN THE WORLD DID SHE
GET THE NICKNAME SUNSHINE?

8
00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:31,029
I WAS JOKING, DICK.

9
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,766
OH, THAT'S CLEVER.

10
00:00:33,768 --> 00:00:37,936
WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY
MAY BE REPEATED
TO NO ONE.

11
00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:39,437
WHAT IS IT?

12
00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:44,409
I WAS IN
THE CHANCELLOR'S OFFICE,

13
00:00:44,411 --> 00:00:47,712
AND THEY WERE DISCUSSING
THE VACANCY LEFT
BY DEAN SUMNER.

14
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:50,081
MARY, I HAVE IT
ON EXCELLENT AUTHORITY

15
00:00:50,083 --> 00:00:55,721
THAT YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED
AS THE NEW DEAN OF THE SCHOOL
OF ARTS AND SCIENCES.

16
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:56,888
<i> ME?!!</i>

17
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,023
SHH!

18
00:00:58,025 --> 00:01:00,259
ME?
YOU.

19
00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:02,594
I'M THE NEW DEAN?

20
00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:05,163
YOU'RE
THE NEW DEAN.
YOU'RE
THE NEW DEAN.

21
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,735
REMEMBER, NOT A WORD
TO ANYONE.

22
00:01:12,339 --> 00:01:13,905
WATCH OUT, YOU IDIOT!

23
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:17,876
YOU'VE JUST BUMPED
INTO THE NEW DEAN!

24
00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:20,879
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
CARSEY-WERNER PRODUCTIONS,
NATIONAL BROADCASTING COMPANY

25
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:54,212
AND COCA-COLA CLASSIC

26
00:01:55,248 --> 00:01:56,815
ME, TOO, PUMPKIN.

27
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,317
I CAN'T WAIT. BYE.

28
00:01:58,319 --> 00:02:01,486
OH, SO
YOU'RE SEEING
DON TONIGHT?

29
00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:04,523
SEEIN' HIM? I'M LOSIN'
MY VIRGINITY TO HIM.

30
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:06,825
I CAN COME BACK.

31
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:09,495
OH, NO YOU DON'T.
YOU JUST FIX THAT THING.

32
00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:12,497
SALLY, THIS
IS GONNA BE A NIGHT

33
00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:14,666
YOU'LL REMEMBER
FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

34
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:18,103
YOU KNOW, I'LL
NEVER FORGET THE NIGHT
THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY

35
00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:19,838
TO, UH...

36
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:25,043
OH, WHAT'S-HER-NAME
OVER AT THE PLACE.

37
00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:26,111
MAGIC!

38
00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:27,979
YES, IT'S
A SPECIAL TIME.

39
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,648
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE
GOING TO BE WEARING?

40
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,283
NOT A LOT.

41
00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:32,684
YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M SAYIN', UH, UH...

42
00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:34,019
WHAT'S YOUR
NAME?

43
00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:35,854
YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M SAYIN', FREDDY?

44
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:39,424
I THINK SO.

45
00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:43,294
YOU KNOW, SALLY,
SEX ISN'T ALWAYS ALL
IT'S CRACKED UP TO BE.

46
00:02:43,296 --> 00:02:44,529
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?

47
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:48,566
I DON'T.

48
00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:51,236
WELL, DUBCEK'S MY EXPERT.

49
00:02:51,238 --> 00:02:56,909
THIS LITTLE LADY TOLD ME
SHE LOST HER VIRGINITY
14 TIMES, HUH?

50
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,447
WAIT. IS THAT POSSIBLE?

51
00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:07,318
NO, BUT A GIRL'S
GOT TO BE MINDFUL
OF HER REPUTATION.

52
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:10,388
WELL, SALLY,
WE KNEW THAT THIS TIME
WOULD COME SOMEDAY,

53
00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:13,925
SO WE
WANTED TO MAKE SURE
THAT YOU HAD PROTECTION.

54
00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:23,435
SEE YA.

55
00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:25,304
OH, UH, NINA...

56
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:28,507
NOW THAT YOU'RE GOING
TO MARY'S NEW OFFICE
AND LEAVING ME,

57
00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:30,542
I WANT TO WISH YOU LUCK
AND TELL YOU

58
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:33,411
I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPY
WITH YOUR WORK.

59
00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:37,349
AND NOW THAT I'M LEAVING,
I WANT YOU TO KNOW

60
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:40,151
YOU CAN KISS
MY BLACK BEHIND.

61
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:45,924
HELLO, MARY.

62
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:48,927
OH, DICK, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO CALL ME DEAN.

63
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:49,861
I DIDN'T.

64
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:51,329
I SAID, "HELLO, MARY."

65
00:03:51,331 --> 00:03:54,198
OH, GOOD. BECAUSE
NOTHING'S CHANGED.

66
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,800
I'M STILL MARY.

67
00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:57,702
IT'S JUST THAT
I GOT A MAJOR PROMOTION

68
00:03:57,704 --> 00:04:00,204
TO A POSITION
OF GENUINE AUTHORITY,

69
00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:02,640
SO IF YOU'D WANTED
TO CALL ME DEAN,
I'D UNDERSTAND,

70
00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:03,842
BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

71
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,276
I DIDN'T.

72
00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:07,246
GOOD.

73
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:11,383
THIS OFFICE
IS AMAZING, MARY.

74
00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:12,384
YEAH.

75
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:15,220
I ESPECIALLY LIKE
YOUR NEW CERAMIC FISH.

76
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,523
WHAT IS THAT?
IT'S A GIFT.

77
00:04:18,525 --> 00:04:21,693
YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD GO
BEAUTIFULLY WITH THAT?

78
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:22,694
THIS.

79
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:25,096
OH, YOU HAVE
SUCH A GOOD EYE.

80
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,898
I'LL GO GET THE REST
OF MY STUFF.

81
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:29,300
GOOD. I'LL
GIVE YOU A HAND.

82
00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:35,740
SMELL THIS ONE.

83
00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:36,808
AHH!
MMM!

84
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:39,411
OK, NOW,
SMELL IT ON.

85
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:40,912
HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!

86
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:42,414
STOP SMELLING HER!

87
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:43,415
HI, DON.

88
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:44,782
SALLY, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?

89
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:47,085
OH, I GOT SOME GREAT STUFF
FOR TONIGHT.

90
00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:49,620
LOOK, ALMOND BODY LOTION.

91
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:53,458
I'M GONNA SMELL
LIKE A BIG ALMOND.

92
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:54,960
ALMONDS ARE GOOD.

93
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,294
YEAH. OH,
AND CHECK THIS ONE OUT.

94
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,730
WHEN YOU BLOW ON IT,
IT GETS HOTTER.

95
00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:01,466
WHOO!
YEAH.

96
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,101
SALLY, SALLY,
COULD YOU COME OVER HERE?

97
00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:04,469
OH, SURE,
I'LL JUST UM--

98
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,972
HEY, YOU DON'T HAVE
ANY VENEREAL DISEASES,
DO YOU, DON?

99
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:08,640
NO!

100
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,208
GOOD 'CAUSE I'M LOOKIN'
FORWARD TO TONIGHT,

101
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,843
BUT NOT<i> THAT</i> MUCH.

102
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,180
WILL YOU GO AWAY?!

103
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:20,318
SALLY, I APPRECIATE
YOUR COMIN' DOWN HERE,

104
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,753
BUT, YOU KNOW, UNTIL
THE CLOCK STRIKES 5:00,
I'M STILL ON DUTY.

105
00:05:22,755 --> 00:05:23,822
AH, TAH...UH...

106
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:27,425
I ALSO GOT THIS
FOR TONIGHT.

107
00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:31,128
RICO, I'M TAKIN'
A PERSONAL DAY.

108
00:05:31,130 --> 00:05:32,764
BUT
THE SHIFT'S OVER
IN 10 MINUTES.

109
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,632
I SAID I'M TAKIN'
A PERSONAL DAY.

110
00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:36,133
AAH!

111
00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:40,105
MY OFFICE IS SO EMPTY
WITHOUT YOU.

112
00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:41,906
WELL...

113
00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:44,609
HOW ABOUT A NEW COUCH
TO BRIGHTEN THINGS UP?

114
00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:45,877
CAN YOU DO THAT?

115
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:47,379
OH, SURE. JUST
CALL THE WAREHOUSE

116
00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:50,081
AND TELL THEM
DEAN ALBRIGHT SAID
YOU COULD HAVE A NEW COUCH.

117
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:51,483
AND MAYBE A CHAIR?

118
00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:52,550
SURE.

119
00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:54,552
AND SOME SPORTY
THROW PILLOWS

120
00:05:54,554 --> 00:05:56,254
TO ADD A SPLASH
OF COLOR?

121
00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:58,056
MAKE IT SO!

122
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:01,593
OH, THIS IS UNREAL.

123
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,761
AND MY GIRLFRIEND'S THE DEAN!

124
00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:06,331
MY GIRLFRIEND'S THE DEAN!

125
00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:07,699
I'M THE DEAN!

126
00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:17,008
PHELPS, TAKE THE DAY OFF.

127
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:19,010
THANK YOU,
DR. SOLOMON.

128
00:06:21,514 --> 00:06:25,516
SO, RON,
HOW ARE THE DESIGNS
FOR MY OFFICE COMING?

129
00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:28,719
DICK, LET ME BE
UP FRONT WITH YOU.

130
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:32,990
THERE ARE PEOPLE
WHO ARE GOING TO TELL YOU
NOT TO GO LOUIS XIV.

131
00:06:32,992 --> 00:06:34,959
I'M NOT THOSE PEOPLE.

132
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:38,195
GOOD.
I HATE THOSE PEOPLE.

133
00:06:38,197 --> 00:06:40,264
CARRY ON, MY GOOD MAN.

134
00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:41,566
WHAT
DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING?

135
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:42,767
REFILLING MY DRINK.

136
00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:44,936
NO FREE REFILLS.

137
00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:46,304
OH, IS THAT A FACT?

138
00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:47,839
THAT'S A FACT.

139
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,073
DO YOU KNOW WHO
YOU'RE DEALING WITH?

140
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,242
UNFORTUNATELY.

141
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,644
THAT'S IT!

142
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:55,580
BY THE POWER VESTED
IN ME BY THE DEAN
OF ARTS AND SCIENCES,

143
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,615
YOU'RE FIRED!
PACK YOUR BAGS, PRINCESS!

144
00:06:57,617 --> 00:07:00,251
THE FREE RIDE'S OVER.
YOU ARE OUT OF HERE!

145
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:06,390
FINE.

146
00:07:06,392 --> 00:07:09,260
[CHUCKLING]

147
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,895
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?

148
00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:15,266
OH, IF YOU ONLY KNEW
WHAT YOU'VE BEEN EATING
ALL THIS TIME.

149
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:18,069
THE JOKE'S ON YOU.

150
00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:22,040
I MAY HAVE EATEN IT,
BUT NEVER ONCE DID I EVER...

151
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:24,309
KEEP IT DOWN.

152
00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:29,580
[TANGO MUSIC PLAYS]

153
00:07:39,659 --> 00:07:41,159
YAAH-AH!

154
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:48,766
UGH!

155
00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:18,830
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

156
00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:26,104
MORNING.

157
00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:29,974
HAPPY?

158
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:31,509
[SNICKERING]

159
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:34,845
ME, TOO-SKI.

160
00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:47,058
[HUMMING TANGO]

161
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:54,966
SURPRISE!
SURPRISE!

162
00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:05,843
SO MAYBE IT WASN'T
THE BEST IDEA

163
00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:07,212
TO THROW SALLY
A SURPRISE PARTY.

164
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:09,948
TOMMY, MAYBE YOU'D LIKE
TO LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY

165
00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:11,682
WITHOUT YOUR FAMILY
JUMPING OUT AND YELLING,

166
00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:13,285
BUT I KNOW I WOULDN'T.

167
00:09:13,287 --> 00:09:16,187
OH, SALLY,
ARE YOU OK?

168
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:17,588
YEAH. WHAT'S
FOR BREAKFAST?

169
00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:20,926
WE ARE SO PROUD
OF YOUR ENTRANCE
INTO WOMANHOOD

170
00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:23,028
THAT WE GOT YOU
THIS PLAQUE. TOMMY?

171
00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:25,162
"HATS OFF TO
YOU, EMPLOYEE
OF THE WEEK."

172
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,532
SPEECH! SPEECH!

173
00:09:31,771 --> 00:09:35,406
ISN'T THERE SOMETHING
YOU WANT TO TELL US
ABOUT LAST NIGHT?

174
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,674
OH. OH...

175
00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:37,776
UH...

176
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:40,078
OK, UH...

177
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:44,449
COULD YA TAKE
THE HAT OFF FIRST?

178
00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:45,617
THANKS.

179
00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,752
UM...

180
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:50,255
WELL, SO, I--
I WENT OUT...

181
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:54,992
AND I MET DON AT
THE POLICE STATION,

182
00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:57,262
UH...UH...

183
00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:58,529
WELL, HERE I AM!

184
00:09:58,531 --> 00:10:01,066
OOH! CEREAL.

185
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,701
COME ON!
HOLD ON A MINUTE,
MISSY!

186
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:04,268
AREN'T YOU LEAVING
SOMETHING OUT?

187
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,302
I DON'T THINK SO.

188
00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:06,738
ABOUT LOSIN'
YOUR VIRGINITY,

189
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:10,441
YOU BIG KNUCKLEHEAD?

190
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,610
I CAN'T TELL YOU
ABOUT THAT.

191
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,245
WELL, WHY NOT?

192
00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:16,915
I DON'T KNOW. I JUST CAN'T.
IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

193
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:18,416
OF COURSE
IT'S OUR BUSINESS!

194
00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:20,452
THIS IS WHAT WE DO.
THIS IS WHY WE'RE
HERE ON EARTH.

195
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:23,087
I TOLD YOU ALL
ABOUT MY FIRST NIGHT
WITH MARY,

196
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:24,589
EVERY DISGUSTING
LITTLE DETAIL,

197
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,324
NO MATTER
HOW MUCH YOU
BEGGED ME TO STOP.

198
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:28,292
YEAH, AND NOW
IT'S YOUR TURN,
SO SPILL!

199
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,629
WHY DO YOU GUYS
EVEN CARE SO MUCH?

200
00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:34,365
BECAUSE A--IT'S REAL DIRTY,
AND B--YOU WON'T TELL US!

201
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:35,299
IT'S LIKE THE LESS
YOU TELL ME,

202
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,368
THE MORE
I WANT TO KNOW!

203
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:41,105
WELL, YOU'RE
NEVER GONNA KNOW.

204
00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:51,949
OH, NOW I WANNA KNOW
EVEN MORE.

205
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:54,986
MARY?

206
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,220
OH, MARY?

207
00:10:56,222 --> 00:11:00,224
COME TO BED,
MY LITTLE TANGERINE.

208
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:01,926
I CAN'T.
I'M STILL WORKING.

209
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:03,527
BUT IT'S LATE,
MUTTON CHOP.

210
00:11:03,529 --> 00:11:04,595
I KNOW.

211
00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:06,130
DADDY NEEDS A KISS-KISS.

212
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:09,633
WELL, DADDY'S NOT
GOING TO GET A KISS-KISS

213
00:11:09,635 --> 00:11:13,471
'CAUSE I'M STILL
CLEANING UP THE MESS
YOU MADE WITH LUCY.

214
00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:15,040
OH, THAT.

215
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:17,008
DICK, SHE
FILED A GRIEVANCE!

216
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,010
I HAD TO FIRE HER, MARY.

217
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:21,312
SHE FLOUTED
OUR AUTHORITY.

218
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:22,881
<i> OUR</i> AUTHORITY?

219
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:25,383
YOU DON'T
HAVE ANY AUTHORITY.

220
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,752
I'M THE DEAN,
NOT YOU.

221
00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:30,321
ME. ME--DEAN,
YOU--BOYFRIEND.

222
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:32,691
RAWWRR...

223
00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:33,925
TOMORROW MORNING,

224
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:35,660
YOU ARE GOING TO
CONVINCE HER TO
TAKE HER JOB BACK.

225
00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:37,061
WHY DO I HAVE TO DO IT?

226
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:38,563
OH, YOU'RE INCREDIBLE.

227
00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:41,065
FIRST YOU GIVE
DR. STRUDWICK A RAISE,

228
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:44,101
THEN YOU CARPET
THE MEN'S ROOM.

229
00:11:44,103 --> 00:11:46,937
IT WAS SO ECHOEY.

230
00:11:46,939 --> 00:11:51,141
DICK, I HAVE BEEN DEAN
EXACTLY ONE DAY,
AND, THANKS TO YOU,

231
00:11:51,143 --> 00:11:54,545
I HAVE ALREADY
BEEN DRESSED DOWN
BY THE CHANCELLOR.

232
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:57,782
FINE. IF IT WILL
MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER,
I'LL TAKE CARE OF LUCY.

233
00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:58,783
THANK YOU.

234
00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:00,785
NOW WILL YOU
COME TO BED,

235
00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:03,454
MY LITTLE WISP
OF CHEESECLOTH?

236
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:06,257
NO, BUT I'LL SEE YOU
AT THE OFFICE TOMORROW.

237
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:07,258
AHH!

238
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,259
FINE.

239
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:09,260
SO LONG.

240
00:12:11,964 --> 00:12:13,064
IT'S MY BEDROOM.

241
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:16,334
THEN I GUESS
IT'S THE COUCH FOR YOU.

242
00:12:17,603 --> 00:12:19,503
GUESS AGAIN.

243
00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:22,373
OH! THEN IT'S A FANCY
HOTEL ROOM, IS IT?

244
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,475
IT'S YOUR BUTT
OUT THE DOOR!

245
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:27,411
THAT'S IT! I'M LEAVING!

246
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:28,946
I JUST KICKED YOU OUT.

247
00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:30,881
TOO BAD.
I WASN'T LISTENING.

248
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,152
PLEASE...

249
00:12:35,154 --> 00:12:36,687
LET ME STAY.

250
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:38,055
OUT!

251
00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:39,390
THAT'S IT!
I'M LEAVING!

252
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:47,832
[THINKING] DEAR DIARY,
I'M SO CONFUSED.

253
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:50,434
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN ABLE
TO TELL YOU EVERYTHING,

254
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:52,036
SO, HERE IT GOES...

255
00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:54,638
LAST NIGHT--

256
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:56,440
LAST NIGHT...

257
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,910
DON AND I--

258
00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:01,412
WE--

259
00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:03,982
WHY ARE YOU
BEING SO NOSY?

260
00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:06,918
WHY CAN'T YOU
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?

261
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:16,494
WHAT DO YOU THINK
DON DID TO HER?

262
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:18,029
I DON'T KNOW,

263
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:20,932
BUT I THINK
IT'S TIME WE FOUND HIM

264
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:23,701
AND OPENED UP A LITTLE
CAN OF WHUP-ASS.

265
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,505
HELLO, BOYS.

266
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:30,008
WHY DON'T YOU
SAVE THE SWEET TALK
FOR THE LADIES, DON?

267
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,844
YEAH. DID YOU THINK
WE WOULDN'T KNOW?

268
00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:35,079
DID YOU THINK
WE WOULDN'T FIND OUT?

269
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:36,146
STUPID!

270
00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:39,217
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
IS SALLY OK?

271
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:40,951
SHE'S A MESS!

272
00:13:40,953 --> 00:13:42,753
AND WE WANT TO KNOW WHY.

273
00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:43,922
WELL, WHAT DID SHE TELL YOU?

274
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:45,923
NOTHIN'.
THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

275
00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:47,358
WELL, HOW DO YOU KNOW
SOMETHING'S WRONG?

276
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,093
BECAUSE SHE TELLS US
EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.

277
00:13:49,095 --> 00:13:50,361
THE WAY YOU
WEAR YOUR HAT...

278
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:51,562
THE WAY
YOU SIP YOUR TEA,

279
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:53,031
THE WAY YOUR SMILE
JUST BEAMS,

280
00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:54,332
THE WAY YOU
SING OFF-KEY.

281
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,133
NO, NO.
YES!

282
00:13:56,135 --> 00:13:58,102
SHE TELLS US EVERYTHING,

283
00:13:58,104 --> 00:14:01,939
AND YOU CAN'T TAKE THAT
AWAY FROM ME.

284
00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:04,375
I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING
TO HARM SALLY.

285
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:05,610
I LOVE HER.

286
00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:07,712
OH, YEAH? WELL, THEN,
WHY ISN'T SHE TALKIN'?

287
00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:08,946
I DON'T KNOW!
THAT'S HER BUSINESS!

288
00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:13,083
WHY, I OUGHTA--OK.

289
00:14:13,085 --> 00:14:16,754
ALL RIGHT, WE'LL PLAY
THE LITTLE GAME YOUR WAY.

290
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:19,990
BUT, REMEMBER,
WE'RE WATCHIN' YOU,
24 HOURS A DAY.

291
00:14:19,992 --> 00:14:21,659
I THOUGHT WE WERE
GONNA GO SEE A MOVIE.

292
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:22,660
SHH!

293
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:26,664
EH!
EH!

294
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:35,339
LUCY, PLEASE, SIT DOWN.
I SUMMONED YOU HERE

295
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:39,043
BECAUSE THERE SEEMS
TO HAVE BEEN A LITTLE
MISUNDERSTANDING.

296
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:43,881
SOMEHOW YOU
GOT THE IMPRESSION
THAT I FIRED YOU.

297
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,683
HA HA HA!

298
00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:48,686
OH, YOU MEAN
LIKE WHEN YOU SAID,

299
00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:51,855
"PACK YOUR BAGS, PRINCESS,
THE FREE RIDE IS OVER"?

300
00:14:51,857 --> 00:14:58,696
WELL, I'M NOT SAYING
THE MISUNDERSTANDING
IS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT.

301
00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:00,365
LET'S TRY
ANOTHER APPROACH.

302
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,333
CUT THE BULL, DOC.

303
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:03,701
YOU WANT ME
TO DROP MY GRIEVANCE

304
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:06,103
SO YOU CAN
GET YOUR SORRY BUTT
OFF THE CHOPPING BLOCK.

305
00:15:06,105 --> 00:15:07,671
AHH, POOR THING.

306
00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:12,109
I SEE THE MASHED POTATO
FUMES HAVE GONE
TO YOUR BRAIN.

307
00:15:12,111 --> 00:15:13,544
WHAT?

308
00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:16,814
LOOK, THINGS HAPPENED
THAT MAYBE SHOULDN'T
HAVE HAPPENED.

309
00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:19,183
I'M NOT HERE
TO PLACE BLAME.

310
00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:22,119
BUT I'M SURE WE
CAN REACH AN AGREEMENT

311
00:15:22,121 --> 00:15:24,254
JUST AS SOON
AS YOU SUBSTANTIALLY
CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE.

312
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:25,623
[CHUCKLING]

313
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:28,826
I DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE
MY ATTITUDE FOR YOU.

314
00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:32,029
OK! I TRIED TO GIVE
YOU A SECOND CHANCE,

315
00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:34,432
BUT YOU BLEW IT! OUT
YOU GO! YOU'RE FIRED!

316
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:38,435
YOU CAN'T FIRE ME.
YOU DON'T HAVE THE POWER.

317
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:39,837
OH, I DON'T, DO I NOT?

318
00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:41,472
NO, YOU DON'T!

319
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:43,073
AND YOU NEVER DID.

320
00:15:43,075 --> 00:15:44,408
NOW, ISN'T THAT RIGHT?

321
00:15:44,410 --> 00:15:46,177
PLEASE, LET THERE
BE AN EARTHQUAKE.

322
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:48,145
LET THERE BE
AN EARTHQUAKE.

323
00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:54,051
PARDON ME.
I GOTTA MAKE A CALL
TO MY LAWYER.

324
00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:55,586
OH! OH HO HO HO HO!

325
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:56,787
SO...

326
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:59,323
YOU'RE GONNA CUT ME OUT
OF YOUR WILL, ARE YOU?

327
00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:02,259
WELL, I CAN DO THE SAME!
YOU'RE OUT!

328
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:06,764
I AM SO SCREWED.

329
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:09,600
SALLY.

330
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:10,735
DON.

331
00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:12,469
I'VE BEEN GOIN' NUTS.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

332
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:14,204
OH, DON...

333
00:16:14,206 --> 00:16:17,108
I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER
IN MY LIFE.

334
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,842
I JUST WISH
I COULD ENJOY IT,

335
00:16:18,844 --> 00:16:22,112
BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE
I'M TOO BUSY FREAKIN' OUT!

336
00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:24,782
WHY?

337
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:27,452
WELL, IT'S LIKE...

338
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:32,123
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU BUY
A NEW PAIR OF STILETTO HEELS?

339
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:35,927
WELL, GO ON.

340
00:16:35,929 --> 00:16:38,529
AND THEY'RE REALLY GREAT,
AND EVERYBODY SAYS
THEY'RE REALLY GREAT,

341
00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:40,130
AND "WHY DON'T YOU JUST
GET 'EM? THEY'RE SO GREAT."

342
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:41,532
SO YOU FINALLY
TAKE THE PLUNGE,

343
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:42,633
AND YOU LOVE 'EM.
THEY'RE PERFECT,

344
00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:43,768
AND THEY'RE
SURPRISINGLY COMFORTABLE,

345
00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:44,935
BUT THEN ALL OF
A SUDDEN YOU REALIZE,

346
00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:46,704
"WHAT HAVE I DONE?
I'M UP SO HIGH,

347
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:48,138
"AND WHAT'S UP
AHEAD OF ME?

348
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:51,075
"THE WORLD
IS FULL OF ESCALATORS
AND HEATING GRATES

349
00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:56,547
AND SOD,
AND WHAT IF I'M NOT ABLE
TO HANDLE ALL THAT?"

350
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:58,149
WELL, SALLY,
YOU'RE SO TALL,

351
00:16:58,151 --> 00:17:00,418
YOU COULD
JUST WEAR FLATS.

352
00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:04,155
I GUESS I JUST
DIDN'T REALIZE

353
00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:07,991
WHAT AN IMPACT
LOSING MY VIRGINITY
WOULD HAVE ON MY LIFE.

354
00:17:07,993 --> 00:17:09,793
LOSING YOUR VIRGIN--

355
00:17:09,795 --> 00:17:11,796
HOKEY SMOKES!

356
00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,530
YOU DIDN'T KNOW?

357
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,566
NO, SALLY, I...

358
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:18,169
I'M HONORED IT WAS ME.

359
00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:21,406
I...EH HEH HEH...

360
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:27,111
I GUESS IF YOU'VE NEVER
BEEN WITH ANYONE ELSE,

361
00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:30,114
THEN YOU CAN'T
FULLY APPRECIATE

362
00:17:30,116 --> 00:17:34,152
HOW MAGNIFICENT A LOVER
I REALLY AM.

363
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:39,023
I CAN IMAGINE.

364
00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:42,627
OH, YOU ARE
A LUCKY GIRL, SALLY!

365
00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:44,461
A LUCKY, LUCKY GIRL.

366
00:17:44,463 --> 00:17:48,632
I KNOW. THAT'S WHY
I WANTED TO SHOUT IT
FROM THE MOUNTAIN TOPS!

367
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:51,735
BUT WHEN I GOT HOME,
I COULDN'T TELL ANYBODY.

368
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:52,670
THAT'S OK.

369
00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:54,639
HAVE YOU TOLD ANYBODY
WE DID IT?

370
00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:57,808
OH, SURE, TONS
OF PEOPLE, BUT...

371
00:17:57,810 --> 00:17:59,544
THAT WAS MONTHS AGO.

372
00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:05,316
BUT NOT SINCE
WE ACTUALLY DID IT?

373
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:07,952
OF COURSE NOT.
WHAT KIND OF HEEL
DO YOU THINK I AM?

374
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:11,856
THIS INFORMATION
IS ONLY FOR MEMBERS
OF THE SALLY-DON CLUB.

375
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:13,290
THERE ARE ONLY 2 MEMBERS.

376
00:18:15,228 --> 00:18:16,727
YOU AND ME, DON?

377
00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:19,396
ME AND YOU.

378
00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:22,500
CAN TOMMY JOIN?

379
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:23,701
NO.

380
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,936
GOOD. BECAUSE
THERE'S A PART OF ME

381
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,339
THAT FEELS LIKE
IF ANYBODY ELSE
FOUND OUT ABOUT IT,

382
00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:29,707
IT'LL STOP
BEING OUR THING,

383
00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:32,243
AND I DON'T EVER WANT IT
TO STOP BEING THAT.

384
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:33,878
IT NEVER WILL.

385
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,247
I'M SO GLAD
WE HAD THIS TALK.

386
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:39,049
ANYTIME YOU WANT TO, UH...

387
00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:40,417
TALK...

388
00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:42,286
YOU JUST SEE ME.

389
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:45,690
SOMETIMES
I JUST LIKE TO LIE BACK

390
00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:48,392
AND LET YOU
DO THE TALKIN'.

391
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:52,863
SO YOU LIKE TO, UH...

392
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:54,365
LISTEN, DO YOU?

393
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:55,899
[GIGGLING]

394
00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:57,735
YEAH.

395
00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:59,003
OOH!

396
00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:00,537
HA HA HA.

397
00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:01,538
DO YOU?

398
00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:02,840
YEAH.

399
00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:04,274
WELL, THAT'S GOOD.

400
00:19:04,276 --> 00:19:06,010
'CAUSE I'LL TALK
YOUR BRAINS OUT!

401
00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:07,945
TALK TO ME, DON!
TALK TO ME!

402
00:19:11,084 --> 00:19:12,783
THE MAN'S AN IDIOT.

403
00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:14,785
HE REALLY IS.

404
00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:17,622
WHY ARE YOU
EVEN SEEING HIM?

405
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:21,625
WELL, IT'S HARD
TO MEET NICE GUYS.

406
00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:24,662
EH...TELL ME ABOUT IT.

407
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,163
SO, LUCY,
WILL YOU DROP THE SUIT

408
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,632
AND TAKE YOUR JOB BACK
AT THE CAFETERIA?

409
00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:31,302
AFTER THE TRAUMA
I SUFFERED THERE?

410
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:34,205
I COULD NEVER WORK
IN THE CAFETERIA AGAIN.

411
00:19:34,207 --> 00:19:35,273
WHY?

412
00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:39,410
I'M FRIGHTENED.

413
00:19:42,214 --> 00:19:44,115
OK, WHAT'LL IT TAKE?

414
00:19:49,555 --> 00:19:52,023
NINA, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?

415
00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:53,724
I'M WORKING
FOR YOU AGAIN,

416
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:56,593
AND IF YOU THINK
YOU WEREN'T SATISFIED
WITH MY WORK BEFORE,

417
00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:59,463
JUST WAIT TILL
YOU SEE ALL THE TYPOS
AND LOST MESSAGES

418
00:19:59,465 --> 00:20:02,266
YOU'VE GOT
COMIN' YOUR WAY!

419
00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:03,267
OHH!

420
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:07,905
YOU!

421
00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:09,340
CAN I HELP YOU?

422
00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:10,841
I HAVE TO SEE MARY.

423
00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:12,410
NOT SO FAST, DOC.

424
00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,011
SHE'S A VERY BUSY WOMAN.

425
00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:16,413
SIT DOWN
AND WAIT YOUR TURN!

426
00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:17,648
MARY!

427
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:20,918
LUCY,
TELL WHOEVER
IT IS I'M BUSY.

428
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,052
MARY, IT'S ME!

429
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,622
TELL HIM
I KNOW WHO IT IS.

430
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:27,758
YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT.

431
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:32,363
CAN YOU
GET ME SOME WATER?

432
00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:34,632
NO.

433
00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:37,701
HOW ABOUT SOME CABBAGE SOUP
AND MASHED POTATOES?

434
00:20:37,703 --> 00:20:39,703
NO!

435
00:20:39,705 --> 00:20:42,306
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
CARSEY-WERNER PRODUCTIONS,
NATIONAL BROADCASTING COMPANY

436
00:20:42,308 --> 00:20:45,142
AND COCA-COLA CLASSIC

437
00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:47,144
POWER IS
A FUNNY THING.

438
00:20:47,146 --> 00:20:48,145
YEAH.

439
00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:50,748
SO ARE RUBBER PENCILS.

440
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,983
MARY HAS POWER.
I HAVE MARY.

441
00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:55,019
MATHEMATICALLY,
I SHOULD HAVE POWER.

442
00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:56,353
BUT,
AS IT TURNS OUT,

443
00:20:56,355 --> 00:20:59,489
ALL I HAVE
IS THE POWER TO MAKE
HER ANGRY AT ME...

444
00:20:59,491 --> 00:21:01,592
WHICH IS STILL
A PRETTY GOOD POWER.

445
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:05,196
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES
IT'S NICE TO GIVE UP POWER.

446
00:21:05,198 --> 00:21:06,764
REALLY?

447
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:10,267
YEAH. I DON'T
ALWAYS HAVE TO BE
THE TAKE-CHARGE LIEUTENANT.

448
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:13,470
I MEAN, SOMETIMES
I CAN LET SOMEBODY ELSE
HAVE CONTROL.

449
00:21:13,472 --> 00:21:15,439
LETTING YOURSELF
BE VULNERABLE,

450
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:19,477
IT OPENS YOU UP
TO A WHOLE NEW WORLD
OF EXPERIENCE.

451
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,413
TELL US...MORE.

452
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:25,415
NO.

453
00:21:26,652 --> 00:21:28,519
IT WAS WORTH A SHOT.

454
00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:30,721
I REALLY THOUGHT
YOU HAD HER
THAT TIME.

455
00:21:30,723 --> 00:21:33,791
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY
THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING
INSTITUTE, INC.

456
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,827
PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS
PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF
NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE