1 00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:07,606 OH, DON, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GO? 2 00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:09,274 WHY, SALLY? 3 00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:12,444 BECAUSE 10 YEARS AGO, I TOOK AN OATH-- 4 00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:15,280 AN OATH TO PROTECT AND SERVE THIS CITY, 5 00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:19,784 AND NOTHING-- NOT EVEN THE PROSPECT OF LYING IN BED, NAKED, 6 00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:22,287 WITH THE SEXIEST, MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN-- 7 00:00:22,289 --> 00:00:24,722 WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?! 8 00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:33,365 OH...OH, SALLY... I'VE GOTTA TELL YOU 9 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:36,635 THAT THIS IS THE BEST RELATIONSHIP I'VE EVER BEEN IN. 10 00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:41,139 OH, WOW, DON... THAT IS SO... 11 00:00:44,144 --> 00:00:45,343 SO... 12 00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:49,581 WOW. 13 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,316 WHAT'S THE MATTER? 14 00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:54,987 NOTHING. I GUESS I JUST NEVER THOUGHT 15 00:00:54,989 --> 00:00:58,323 ABOUT YOU HAVING ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP BEFORE. 16 00:00:58,325 --> 00:01:01,726 NO ONE CAN HOLD A CANDLE TO YOU, SALLY. 17 00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:05,496 THAT'S REAL SWEET, DON. 18 00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:13,772 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WERNER PRODUCTIONS AND THE NATIONAL BROADCASTING COMPANY 19 00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:16,842 CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC. 20 00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:19,978 PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE 21 00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:51,877 TO PENDELTON'S NEW DEAN OF ARTS AND SCIENCES. 22 00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,044 OHH... 23 00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:54,513 THAT'S YOU, MARY. 24 00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,781 I KNOW. 25 00:01:56,783 --> 00:02:00,284 NOW, IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND TALKING BUSINESS JUST FOR A MOMENT-- 26 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,387 OH, DICK, CAN'T IT WAIT UNTIL MONDAY? 27 00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:03,722 OH, I UNDERSTAND. 28 00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:09,027 ON MONDAY, I'M GONNA BE ASKING YOU 29 00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,029 WHAT THE SCHOOL INTENDS TO DO ABOUT 30 00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:13,097 THE DECAYING STATUE OF ADMIRAL PENDELTON. 31 00:02:13,099 --> 00:02:14,566 THE ONE WITH THE MISSING ARM? 32 00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,635 IT'S AN EYESORE. WHAT'S GOING TO BE DONE? 33 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,404 I WANT AN ANSWER, AND I WANT IT NOW! 34 00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:22,741 THAT'S WHAT I'LL BE SAYING ON MONDAY. 35 00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:26,043 DICK, THE UNIVERSITY IS IN A FINANCIAL CRUNCH. 36 00:02:26,045 --> 00:02:28,713 THE BIOLOGY LAB IS DISSECTING ROAD KILL. 37 00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:31,316 THE STATUE IS NOT A PRIORITY. 38 00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:34,986 YES, WELL, I'LL BE INTERESTED IN HEARING WHAT YOU THINK ON MONDAY. 39 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:35,987 THANK YOU, MY GOOD MAN. 40 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,822 OH, NO. HERE, LET ME GET-- 41 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:41,059 OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 42 00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:43,128 THIS IS MY TREAT. 43 00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:44,396 DICK, I'M A DEAN. 44 00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:46,698 THAT PROMOTION CAME WITH A NICE RAISE. 45 00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:49,168 WELL, YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY MORE THAN ME. 46 00:02:49,170 --> 00:02:50,435 A LITTLE MORE. 47 00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:53,205 HOW MUCH MORE? 48 00:02:54,407 --> 00:02:55,407 A LOT MORE. 49 00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:56,674 REALLY? 50 00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:59,144 WELL, I DON'T CARE. IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE TO ME. 51 00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:00,745 I'M THE MAN AT THIS TABLE, 52 00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:02,748 AND I INSIST ON PAYING FOR DINNER. 53 00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:03,748 FINE. 54 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,316 OH! 55 00:03:05,318 --> 00:03:07,319 WOWSIE. 56 00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:09,721 MARY, COULD I BORROW $200? 57 00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:13,324 DICK, THIS IS ONLY $80. 58 00:03:13,326 --> 00:03:16,328 I KNOW. I ALSO WANT TO BUY A CUISINART. 59 00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:22,033 TOMMY! TOMMY! 60 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,636 DUBCEK'S GRANDSON IS SELLING LEMONADE DOWN THE STREET 61 00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:27,138 FOR 25 CENTS A SHOT. 62 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:29,474 25 CENTS? FOR A LOUSY CUP OF LEMONADE? 63 00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:31,876 DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF MARKUP THAT MUST BE? 64 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,812 THIS KID'S GOTTA BE MAKING A FORTUNE. 65 00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:36,948 WELL, HE WAS WEARING A DIGITAL WATCH. 66 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,517 SEE? 67 00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:41,353 WELL, I JUST FOUND OUT SOMETHING ABOUT DON I NEVER KNEW. 68 00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:44,723 THAT HIS BACK IS LITERALLY COVERED IN PIMPLES. 69 00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:49,927 WORSE. HE HAD ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP BEFORE ME. 70 00:03:49,929 --> 00:03:50,996 NO. NO. 71 00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:53,198 YES! 72 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,334 OH, MY GOD, YOU GUYS... WHAT DO YOU THINK? 73 00:03:56,336 --> 00:03:59,004 YOU THINK SHE'S PRETTY? 74 00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:02,340 TALL...BLOND... 75 00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:04,142 WOW. SHE SOUNDS HOT. 76 00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:05,143 SHUT UP. 77 00:04:06,679 --> 00:04:09,347 I GOTTA FIGURE OUT WHERE SHE WORKS, WHAT SHE DOES. 78 00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:11,016 I GOTTA KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT HER. 79 00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:12,150 WHY? 80 00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:14,219 'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HER. 81 00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:15,620 WELL, SALLY, I'M OFF. 82 00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:17,222 UH, DON, UM... 83 00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:20,225 THI-THIS TABLE'S A LITTLE WOBBLY. 84 00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:26,131 UM, COULD I USE YOUR ADDRESS BOOK TO PROP IT UP? 85 00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:28,433 CAN'T YOU JUST USE A MATCHBOOK? 86 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,535 I DON'T WANNA USE A MATCHBOOK. 87 00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:38,409 I WANNA USE YOUR WIDDLE ADDWESS BOOK. 88 00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:41,479 WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO TO BEGIN WITH? 89 00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:13,378 I'M SUPPOSED TO GIVE YOU THIS. 90 00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,814 "DR. AND MRS. ALBRIGHT"? 91 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,214 NO, THIS ISN'T FOR ME. 92 00:05:17,216 --> 00:05:20,418 THIS IS FOR MARY AND HER WIFE. 93 00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,620 I THINK YOU'RE MRS. ALBRIGHT. 94 00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:27,292 ME? AH, HA HA HA HA HA! 95 00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:28,626 OH, THAT'S RICH! 96 00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:31,195 WAIT'LL MARY HEARS ABOUT THIS. 97 00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:34,399 HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! 98 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,302 RIGHT OVER YOUR HEADS. 99 00:05:38,304 --> 00:05:40,972 MARY! MARY! 100 00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:43,307 MARY--HA HA HA! 101 00:05:43,309 --> 00:05:46,878 LOOK AT THIS INVITATION. IT'S HILARIOUS! 102 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,112 IT'S A TYPO. 103 00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:50,716 YES! HA HA HA! 104 00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:53,719 DICK, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS. 105 00:05:53,721 --> 00:05:56,922 NOW, YOU'RE GOING TO BE ON MY ARM AT THIS EVENT, 106 00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:59,257 SO I WANT YOU TO LOOK YOUR BEST. 107 00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,860 SO, HERE, TAKE MY CREDIT CARD 108 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,596 AND GO OUT AND BUY YOURSELF A NICE OUTFIT. 109 00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,198 HOW MUCH CAN I SPEND? 110 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,332 WHATEVER. 111 00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:10,535 WHAT IF I FIND A BELT THAT GOES WITH MY SOCKS? 112 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:11,837 FINE. 113 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:13,538 CAN I BUY A CUISINART? 114 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,240 YOU ALREADY BOUGHT A CUISINART. 115 00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:17,508 ER...SOMEBODY PUT PENCILS IN IT. 116 00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:29,087 HI. I'M CALLING ON BEHALF OF J.D. POWER AND ASSOCIATES. 117 00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:32,657 HOW MANY LICENSED DRIVERS DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD? 118 00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:38,163 MM-HMM. AND HOW MANY HAVE DATED POLICE OFFICERS? 119 00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:42,267 YOUR OLD ROOMMATE DID. OK, CAN YOU DESCRIBE HIM? 120 00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:46,671 "USED TO SNEAK HOME DURING THE SHIFT." UH-HUH... 121 00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:50,675 "STRIPPED TO HIS UNDERWEAR." RIGHT... 122 00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:54,179 AND WATCH HIS SOAP OPERA? 123 00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:58,316 THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL? 124 00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:00,552 I AM IN BUSINESS! 125 00:07:06,859 --> 00:07:08,526 HI. CAN I HELP YOU? 126 00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:09,627 ARE YOU TINA? 127 00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:11,196 NO. GO AWAY. 128 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,565 HI. I'M TINA. 129 00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,099 WERE YOU LOOKING FOR A CROCKPOT? 130 00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,834 YOU'RE TINA? YEAH. 131 00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:17,835 HAVE YOU LOOKED AT THIS ONE? 132 00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:19,170 THANK YOU, GOD. 133 00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:23,875 I AM SO MUCH HOTTER THAN YOU! 134 00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,177 THANK YOU! 135 00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:31,149 HEY, HELLO, THERE. 136 00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:33,184 WELL, IF IT ISN'T CHANCELLOR STEVENS. 137 00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:36,221 DEAN ALBRIGHT, HELLO. 138 00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:37,722 CHANCELLOR, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU. 139 00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:39,224 TELL ME, MARY, 140 00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:41,559 I HEARD YOU HAD A MOST PROMISING MEETING 141 00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:43,060 WITH PROFESSOR GOLLIN. 142 00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:44,395 I THINK IT WENT WELL. KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED. 143 00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:45,663 [CLEARS THROAT] 144 00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,131 HE'S AN INTERESTING MAN. 145 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,233 YOU'VE READ HIS PAPER ON ETHNOBOTANY? 146 00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:50,568 [CLEARS THROAT] 147 00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:52,937 I'VE JUST STARTED IT, BUT IT'S FASCINATING. 148 00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:54,706 [CLEARS THROAT] 149 00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:56,575 [HAWKING LOUDLY] 150 00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:02,580 HELLO. 151 00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:05,283 I'M SORRY. THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND DICK. 152 00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,851 NICE TO MEET YOU. 153 00:08:06,853 --> 00:08:07,985 ACTUALLY, I'M A PHYSICS-- 154 00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:10,921 YOU MADE A GREAT END-AROUND ON THE SUBCOMMITTEE. 155 00:08:10,923 --> 00:08:12,056 OH, THAT. 156 00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:13,824 IT TURNS OUT IT WAS PROFESSOR BRIGGS 157 00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:15,260 THAT WAS CREATING THE LOGJAM. 158 00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:16,427 YOU KNOW, I FIND-- HOW'D YOU DO IT? 159 00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:17,928 I JUST DANGLED THAT ARTS GRANT IN FRONT OF HIM. 160 00:08:17,930 --> 00:08:18,929 THE INTERESTING-- 161 00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:20,465 THE ARTS GRANT IS A MIGHTY BIG CARROT. 162 00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:21,899 IT SURE IS. 163 00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:23,434 CARROTS-- AND THEN? 164 00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:24,702 I-- OH, IT'S JUST WAIT AND SEE. 165 00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:26,271 CARROTS-- YES, I SUPPOSE. 166 00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:28,105 HOW, UH...IF-- 167 00:08:28,107 --> 00:08:29,106 DRINK? 168 00:08:29,108 --> 00:08:30,041 CARROTS-- SURE. 169 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,042 I-- 170 00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:32,977 BYE. 171 00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:35,680 HELLO. I'M DEAN GUTHRIDGE'S WIFE. 172 00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,715 AND I'M DEAN SMITH'S WIFE. 173 00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:39,551 HI. I'M DEAN ALBRIGHT'S WIFE. 174 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,759 HARRY, IS IT REALLY NECESSARY 175 00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:49,393 THAT I WEAR A BLINDFOLD? 176 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:56,100 TOMMY, IT'S A BLIND TASTE TEST. OK? 177 00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:58,169 NOW, IF WE'RE GONNA BE IN THE LEMONADE GAME, 178 00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:00,438 WE'VE GOTTA HAVE A COMPETITIVE PRODUCT. 179 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,874 NOW, WHICH ONE TASTES BETTER? 180 00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:07,278 WELL, THIS ONE'S A LITTLE BLAND. 181 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,779 A LITTLE BLAND. 182 00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:13,017 OK. THIS ONE'S ROOT BEER. 183 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,554 YOU GUYS! 184 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:17,755 I SAW HER! I SAW HER! 185 00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:18,856 YOU SAW TINA? 186 00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:20,691 YES, AND I'M SO MUCH HOTTER THAN SHE IS, 187 00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:22,460 IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY. 188 00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:23,928 GOOD. GOOD FOR YOU. 189 00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:25,230 AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST PART IS? 190 00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:26,932 WHAT? 191 00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,599 WELL, THAT IS THE BEST PART. 192 00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:30,502 YOU KNOW, I WONDER WHAT DON EVER SAW IN HER 193 00:09:30,504 --> 00:09:31,970 IN THE FIRST PLACE. 194 00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:35,039 AH, WELL, YOU GOT-- 195 00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:38,143 WELL, I MEAN, IT-- 196 00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:39,377 OBVIOUSLY-- 197 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,815 YEAH, WHAT COULD IT BE? 198 00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:46,084 WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? 199 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,985 I MEAN, YOU'RE NOT IN COMPETITION WITH THIS PERSON. 200 00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:51,022 OF COURSE I'M IN COMPETITION WITH HER, TOMMY. 201 00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,824 SHE'S HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND. 202 00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:53,825 YEAH. EX. 203 00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:55,259 WHY AM I EVEN TALKING TO YOU? 204 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,794 YOU'RE NOT A WOMAN. 205 00:09:56,796 --> 00:09:58,295 OOCH! THAT'S GOTTA HURT. 206 00:09:58,297 --> 00:10:00,732 I MEAN, WHAT DOES THIS TINA HAVE THAT I DON'T? 207 00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:04,135 HER BACK IS LITERALLY COVERED IN PIMPLES. 208 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,741 I GOTTA FIGURE OUT WHAT I'M UP AGAINST HERE. 209 00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,676 I'M GONNA GO BUY THAT CROCKPOT. 210 00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:12,877 WE HAVE A CROCKPOT. 211 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,885 WE JUST LOST ONE CROCKPOT 212 00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:22,820 AND GAINED ONE CRACKPOT. 213 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:25,790 I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE. 214 00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:32,697 HI, DICK. 215 00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:33,964 DEAN ALBRIGHT. 216 00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:37,702 TONIGHT WAS FUN, WASN'T IT? 217 00:10:37,704 --> 00:10:39,837 BOY, IF THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE BEING DEAN, 218 00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:42,640 I SAY BRING IT ON! 219 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,743 I'M SLEEPY. 220 00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:47,045 WHAT'S WRONG? 221 00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:50,415 WELL, IF YOU DON'T KNOW, I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU. 222 00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:52,717 IT WAS THE PARTY, WASN'T IT? 223 00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:55,320 I'M CLOSING MY EYES NOW. 224 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,589 OH. OK. 225 00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:02,260 COME ON, PROFESSOR SOLOMON. 226 00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:03,694 TEACH ME A LESSON. 227 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,934 NO. 228 00:11:09,936 --> 00:11:13,605 OK. IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GIVE IT TO ME, 229 00:11:13,607 --> 00:11:15,707 I'M GONNA COME OVER THERE AND GET IT. 230 00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:18,776 FINE! 231 00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:20,277 JUST MAKE IT QUICK. 232 00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:25,349 DICK, I'M SORRY. 233 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:28,553 I KNOW I'VE BEEN A LITTLE SELF-INVOLVED LATELY, 234 00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:29,954 BUT YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIT I'VE BEEN BUSY. 235 00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:31,422 BUSY DOING WHAT? 236 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:32,757 WELL... 237 00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:35,426 THINKING ABOUT THAT IDEA OF YOURS 238 00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:37,461 ABOUT RESTORING THE STATUE. 239 00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:39,430 I THOUGHT WE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY. 240 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:42,333 WELL, YOU'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO RAISE THE MONEY. 241 00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:43,501 A FUND-RAISER! 242 00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:45,636 THAT WILL BE YOUR PROJECT. 243 00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:47,504 MARY, YOU MEAN IT? 244 00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:48,672 YES, DICK. 245 00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:50,174 OH, THANKS, MARY. 246 00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:51,175 THANK YOU. 247 00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:55,113 OH, I CAN SEE IT NOW, ALL RESTORED, 248 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:57,314 THE MAJESTIC IMAGE OF ADMIRAL PENDELTON 249 00:11:57,316 --> 00:11:59,316 RIDING HIS WIFE INTO BATTLE. 250 00:12:03,689 --> 00:12:05,890 THAT'S HIS HORSE. 251 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,158 AH. 252 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:12,163 THAT DOES MAKE MORE SENSE. 253 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,233 SO I'M RACKING MY BRAIN-- 254 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,668 WHAT'S A FRESH, FUN NEW WAY TO RAISE $10,000? 255 00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:18,836 SOMETHING CRAZY, 256 00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:21,973 BUT MAKES PERFECT SENSE ALL AT ONCE. 257 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,674 AND I'M WALKING BY FASHIONS BY PEPE, 258 00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:25,176 AND IT HITS ME LIKE A CAPE TO THE THROAT-- 259 00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:26,911 FASHION SHOW. 260 00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:32,250 FASHION SHOW. 261 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,252 HOT WINTER NIGHTS. 262 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,486 THAT'S THE THEME. 263 00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,989 FOR THE...FASHION SHOW. 264 00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:38,990 YEAH. 265 00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:40,491 NOW HELP ME OUT. 266 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:43,561 TICKET PRICES-- I WAS THINKING $50 267 00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:44,696 FOR SEATS BY THE RUNWAY. 268 00:12:44,698 --> 00:12:47,231 YOU KNOW, FOR THE MICKEY ROURKE TYPES. 269 00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:49,433 I WISH I WAS GOING TO BE IN TOWN THAT WEEKEND. 270 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,002 WHEN IS IT? 271 00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,503 OH, GOOD. DEAN ALBRIGHT, 272 00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:54,672 DICK WAS JUST TELLING US THIS IDEA-- 273 00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:56,974 OH, HE TOLD YOU ABOUT THE FASHION SHOW. 274 00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:59,510 HE TOLD US ALL ABOUT IT. 275 00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:01,145 ISN'T IT GREAT? 276 00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:02,981 FABULOUS! COUNT ME IN! 277 00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:03,982 JUST GREAT! 278 00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:05,149 HOT WINTER NIGHTS. 279 00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:06,717 WHERE DID YOU COME UP WITH THE IDEA? 280 00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:07,919 RIGHT HERE. 281 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,693 TINA, HI. REMEMBER ME? 282 00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:18,196 YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID I WASN'T HALF AS HOT AS YOU ARE. 283 00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:19,164 YEAH, RIGHT. THAT'S ME. 284 00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:20,698 ANYWAY, I'M BACK FOR THAT CROCKPOT. 285 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,333 OH, SURE. YEAH, THEY'RE RIGHT OVER HERE. 286 00:13:26,839 --> 00:13:28,239 OH. THOSE ARE NICE SHOES. 287 00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:29,674 OH, THANKS. I JUST GOT THEM. 288 00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:30,808 THEY'RE FRANK ROSS. 289 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,943 FRANK ROSS. YOU MUST BE LOADED. 290 00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:34,411 LOADED? NO, NO. 291 00:13:34,413 --> 00:13:36,114 WELL, THEN WHERE'D YOU GET THE CASH TO PAY FOR THEM? 292 00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:37,681 CREDIT CARD. 293 00:13:37,683 --> 00:13:39,917 YOU HAVE A CREDIT CARD. OH, MY GOD. 294 00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:43,687 ANYWAY, THESE CROCKPOTS ARE SO EASY TO USE. 295 00:13:43,689 --> 00:13:45,423 THEY'RE ALL I COOKED WITH WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE. 296 00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:46,657 SHE WENT TO COLLEGE. 297 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,426 YOU SET THE TIMER, GO OUT, 298 00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:49,960 AND THE FOOD'S READY WHEN YOU COME BACK. 299 00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:52,363 COME BACK FROM WHERE? I--I DON'T KNOW. 300 00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:54,032 TENNIS? IS THAT WHERE YOU GO? 301 00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:57,235 TO PLAY TENNIS-- WITH THE BALLS AND THE RACKETS, 302 00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:58,903 LIKE SOME EXPERT TENNIS PLAYER? 303 00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:00,437 MISS, IS EVERYTHING OK? 304 00:14:00,439 --> 00:14:02,206 OH, YEAH, EVERYTHING'S GREAT, 305 00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:03,941 EXCEPT YOU'RE RUINING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH DON. 306 00:14:03,943 --> 00:14:05,576 DON? YEAH, LADY! 307 00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:06,877 DON ORVILLE. 308 00:14:06,879 --> 00:14:09,380 WE'VE BEEN GOING OUT FOR OVER A YEAR, 309 00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:10,848 AND ALL OF A SUDDEN YOUR NAME COMES UP. 310 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,650 AND WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO US? 311 00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:15,352 LOOK, I WAS ONLY WITH DON FOR 6 MONTHS. 312 00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:16,754 AND 2 WEEKS AFTER WE BROKE UP, 313 00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:17,955 HE WAS ALREADY GOING OUT WITH CHERYL FASSLER 314 00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:19,957 AND LAURA BROCKMAN AFTER THAT-- 315 00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:21,292 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 316 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:22,794 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 317 00:14:22,796 --> 00:14:24,695 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 318 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,798 WAIT, WAIT... 319 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,565 WAIT. 320 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,337 THERE WERE OTHERS? 321 00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:49,354 WELL, I THINK WE SHOULD EXPAND. 322 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,623 EXPAND. 323 00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,125 ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? 324 00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:55,293 WE HAVEN'T SOLD A CUP. 325 00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:57,261 WELL, WAIT TILL WE GET TO THE BIG CITIES. 326 00:14:57,263 --> 00:15:01,165 THAT'S WHERE THE THIRSTY PEOPLE ARE. 327 00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:02,566 YOU ARE A MEATHEAD. 328 00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:05,336 LEMONADE. 329 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,940 OOH! LEMONADE? 330 00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:10,107 YOU KNOW, 331 00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:11,742 WHEN LITTLE KIDS SELL LEMONADE, 332 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:12,877 IT'S CUTE. 333 00:15:12,879 --> 00:15:15,746 BUT WHEN GROWN MEN SELL LEMONADE, 334 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,448 IT'S CREEPY. 335 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:20,585 WHAT? 336 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,152 QUIT SELLING LEMONADE. 337 00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:24,889 YOU'RE CREEPING OUT THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD. 338 00:15:27,293 --> 00:15:28,993 WELL, SHE'S THE MEATHEAD. 339 00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:31,728 NO, HARRY. 340 00:15:31,730 --> 00:15:32,997 NO. SHE'S RIGHT. 341 00:15:32,999 --> 00:15:34,331 I MEAN, COME ON, LOOK AT US. 342 00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:35,966 WE ARE DISGUSTING. 343 00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:39,237 I'M THROUGH. 344 00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:40,905 YECCH. 345 00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:42,039 WELL-- 346 00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:43,808 OH, WELL, THAT'S JUST FINE. 347 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:46,611 YOU JUST GO HOME, TOMMY. 348 00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:48,212 IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME. 349 00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:50,047 I'LL JUST STAY HERE ALL DAY, 350 00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:51,482 HOLD DOWN THE FORT. 351 00:15:53,252 --> 00:15:55,052 AHH. 352 00:15:55,054 --> 00:15:56,387 ROOT BEER. 353 00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:01,192 THANK YOU, KITTY. 354 00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:03,694 NEXT UP, 355 00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:06,196 WE HAVE CHARLENE... 356 00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:10,234 IN A SASSY CARDIGAN 357 00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:13,237 AND FLIRTY PLAID KNEE-LENGTH SKIRT. 358 00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:15,039 TOWN OR COUNTRY, 359 00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:15,907 SHE'S READY TO PLAY. 360 00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:18,910 SHE SHOOTS, SHE SCORES. 361 00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:20,244 NUMBER 8 ON YOUR PROGRAM. 362 00:16:20,246 --> 00:16:21,345 THIS ONE'S GONNA GO FAST. 363 00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:24,215 THANK YOU, CHARLENE. 364 00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:28,085 HERE COMES GINNY. 365 00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:32,022 SAY, GINNY, WHAT'S UNDERNEATH THE PARKA? 366 00:16:32,024 --> 00:16:33,791 HEY. 367 00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,660 IT'S A SMART FRENCH TERRY PULLOVER 368 00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,395 AND SOME SNUGLY LEGGINGS. 369 00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,266 HER HUSBAND MAY BE A TRUSTEE, 370 00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:44,535 BUT YOU CAN'T TRUST HER. 371 00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:47,071 YOU'RE DANGEROUS, GINNY. 372 00:16:47,073 --> 00:16:48,372 YOU'RE DANGEROUS-- 373 00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:50,408 IN FASHIONS BY PEPE. 374 00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:54,278 COME ON OUT, BETTY. 375 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,580 [LAUGHTER] 376 00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:59,683 THAT IS SICK! 377 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:00,818 OK. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 378 00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:02,186 WAIT, WAIT. SO, LAURA, 379 00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:04,521 YOU WERE WITH DON FROM '92 TO '93. 380 00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:06,056 AND THEN, CHERYL, 381 00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:08,192 YOU WERE WITH HIM THE SUMMER OF '95. 382 00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:10,761 BUT, UH, THERE'S STILL THIS GAP HERE IN '94. 383 00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:14,165 OH! THAT'S WHEN HE HAD THE PONYTAIL. 384 00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:18,836 I REMEMBER ONE NIGHT, ME AND DINGO-- 385 00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:20,571 OH, THAT'S WHAT I USED TO CALL HIM. 386 00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:22,006 DINGO. 387 00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:24,909 HE DOES LOOK LIKE A DINGO! 388 00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:26,377 OH, MY GOD! 389 00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:30,481 LADIES. 390 00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:33,350 SALLY, HAVE YOU FOUND A CLIP OF 9MM AMMO? 391 00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:34,518 I WAS LOOKING AT-- 392 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,820 GAH! JEEZ! DOH! 393 00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:37,922 [SPUTTERING] 394 00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:44,395 HI, DON. WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU. 395 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,497 HEY, RECOGNIZE ANYBODY? 396 00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:48,165 YES. 397 00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:50,133 YE-YES. 398 00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:53,470 I--I RECOGNIZE EVERYBODY. 399 00:17:53,472 --> 00:17:54,705 HELLO, LADIES. 400 00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:57,108 HEY, DON. HI, DON. HI, DON. 401 00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:59,210 SALLY, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SEC? 402 00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,278 OH, SURE, SWEETIE. 403 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,580 HE SQUINTS WHEN HE'S NERVOUS. 404 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,514 AM I RIGHT? 405 00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:04,548 DON: SALLY! 406 00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:06,083 OH. COMING. 407 00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:10,154 WHAT'S UP? 408 00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:12,656 WHY ARE ALL MY OLD GIRLFRIENDS HERE? 409 00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:15,059 SWEETIE, LOOK... 410 00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:17,027 I LOST IT WHEN I FOUND OUT 411 00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:18,396 YOU HAD RELATIONSHIPS BEFORE ME. 412 00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:20,064 BUT NOW THAT I'VE MET THEM ALL, 413 00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:22,266 I'M COOL WITH IT. 414 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:23,234 THAT'S GREAT, SALLY. 415 00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:25,336 I KNOW HOW YOU GOT TOGETHER WITH THEM, 416 00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:26,870 I KNOW WHAT YOU DID WITH THEM, 417 00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:29,239 AND I KNOW WHY YOU BROKE UP. THAT'S NICE. 418 00:18:29,241 --> 00:18:30,541 I KNOW WHERE YOU'VE BEEN, I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE HAD, 419 00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,910 AND I KNOW HOW YOU GOT RID OF IT. 420 00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:34,011 OK! 421 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:40,517 OK. I'M--I'M GLAD YOU FEEL BETTER. 422 00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:41,952 I DO, DON. 423 00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:45,223 I REALLY DO. 424 00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:47,358 OH, SALLY. 425 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,060 OH, DINGO. 426 00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:52,529 RUFF! 427 00:18:52,531 --> 00:18:54,531 GRR! 428 00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,574 HERE'S THE MAN OF THE HOUR! 429 00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:04,642 OH! 430 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,310 THANK YOU, MARY. THANK YOU. OH! 431 00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:07,845 AND THANK GOD IT'S OVER! 432 00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:11,081 NINA, HOW DID WE DO? 433 00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:15,019 LET'S SEE. SUBTRACTING FOR THE CATERER, THE DJ, 434 00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:18,689 AND BETTY WALKING OFF WITH THE WEDDING GOWN... 435 00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:22,360 WE MADE $104. 436 00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:25,363 YOU MEAN 104 MILLION DOLLARS. 437 00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:28,299 NO. 104 DOLLARS DOLLARS. 438 00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:30,801 WHAT, THAT'S ALL? AFTER ALL THAT?! 439 00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:31,769 IT'S A GREAT START, DICK. 440 00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:32,770 YOU SHOULD BE PROUD. 441 00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:33,771 OF WHAT?! 442 00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:35,973 $104?! 443 00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:38,675 THAT WON'T BUY ADMIRAL PENDELTON AN ARM! 444 00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:44,215 THAT WON'T EVEN PAY TO PRESSURE-WASH THE BIRD CRAP OFF HIS WIFE! 445 00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:46,616 STILL...WHAT A NIGHT. 446 00:19:46,618 --> 00:19:48,819 THE GALA EVENT OF THE SEASON. 447 00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:53,724 THIS?! 12 PROFESSOR'S WIVES TRUDGING DOWN A MAKESHIFT RUNWAY 448 00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:57,061 IN POLY BLENDS AND SUPPORT HOSE?! 449 00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:59,230 THE RUMAKI WAS DELICIOUS. 450 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,869 WHAT'S GOING ON? 451 00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:08,306 WHY AM I BEING TREATED LIKE THIS? 452 00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:10,507 WHENEVER I'VE DONE SOMETHING STUPID OR FOOLISH, 453 00:20:10,509 --> 00:20:13,577 YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN THERE TO RIDICULE ME FOR IT. 454 00:20:13,579 --> 00:20:14,645 WHAT'S CHANGED?! 455 00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:17,281 I--I THINK EVERYONE HAD A LOVELY TIME. 456 00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:18,749 I KNOW I DID. 457 00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:22,920 YOU! 458 00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:24,522 WHAT?! 459 00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:26,857 YOU'RE THE REASON THEY'RE ALL BEING SO NICE! 460 00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:29,827 THEY'RE KISSING UP TO ME BECAUSE I'M THE DEAN'S BOYFRIEND, AREN'T YOU?! 461 00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:30,861 OH, PSHAW! 462 00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:32,329 WELL, I'M MORE THAN THAT! 463 00:20:32,331 --> 00:20:34,331 I HAVE MY OWN IDENTITY! 464 00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:36,434 I'M DICK SOLOMON, DAMN IT! 465 00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:39,303 AND I DEMAND TO BE CONDEMNED FOR MY FAILURES! 466 00:20:39,305 --> 00:20:42,072 AND THIS, THIS WASN'T JUST A FAILURE. 467 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,808 THIS WAS A TOWERING FIASCO! 468 00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:47,043 SO IF ANY OF YOU RESPECTS ME AS A PERSON, 469 00:20:47,045 --> 00:20:48,812 YOU WILL STAND UP, COME FORWARD, 470 00:20:48,814 --> 00:20:52,215 AND RIDICULE ME FOR THE IDIOT THAT I AM! 471 00:20:52,217 --> 00:20:55,052 DO IT, DAMN IT! CALL ME AN IDIOT! 472 00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:01,392 I THINK YOU BETTER CALL HIM AN IDIOT. 473 00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:02,826 YOU'RE AN IDIOT! 474 00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:04,761 A COLOSSAL IDIOT! 475 00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:06,430 THANK YOU, JUDITH. 476 00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:07,932 VINCENT, THANK YOU. 477 00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:10,901 AND YOU, MARY... 478 00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:13,704 YOU...MOST OF ALL. 479 00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:16,173 IF YOU DON'T, I WILL. 480 00:21:18,177 --> 00:21:19,843 OK, DICK. 481 00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:22,446 YOU'RE A BIG, FAT, BUMBLING, 482 00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:26,450 OBLIVIOUS, PEPE-WEARING, MEGA-IDIOT! 483 00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:28,552 OH, THANK YOU, MARY! 484 00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:37,227 I LOVE YOU, TOO. 485 00:21:39,666 --> 00:21:40,597 DR. SOLOMON. 486 00:21:40,599 --> 00:21:41,799 YES, LUCY. 487 00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:45,469 I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU, YOU'RE AN IDIOT. 488 00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:48,072 THANK YOU, LUCY, BUT THAT'S REALLY NOT NECESSARY. 489 00:21:48,074 --> 00:21:51,442 NO. I REALLY WANTED YOU TO KNOW. YOU'RE AN IDIOT. 490 00:21:51,444 --> 00:21:55,979 LOOK, I'VE REALLY GOTTEN OVER THAT WHOLE FASHION SHOW DEBACLE. 491 00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:58,014 BUT...THANK YOU. 492 00:21:58,016 --> 00:21:59,383 WHAT FASHION SHOW? 493 00:22:00,953 --> 00:22:03,353 IDIOT.