1
00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:05,604
MAIL'S HERE.

2
00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:06,938
AH, THE MAIL.

3
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:09,708
WHAT WOULD A DAY
ON EARTH BE LIKE
WITHOUT THE MAIL?

4
00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:11,209
PROBABLY A LOT
LIKE SUNDAY.

5
00:00:11,211 --> 00:00:12,878
AH! HA HA.

6
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,112
"SALLY SOLOMON,

7
00:00:14,114 --> 00:00:17,015
"YOU HAVE BEEN PREAPPROVED
FOR A PLATINUM CREDIT CARD.

8
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:21,820
ONLY OUR MOST VALUED AND
CHERISHED CUSTOMERS QUALIFY
FOR PLATINUM STATUS."

9
00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:23,988
YOU GUYS, I QUALIFY
FOR PLATINUM STATUS!

10
00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:26,224
SO DID I!
ME TOO!

11
00:00:26,226 --> 00:00:27,859
HELLO, FAMILY.

12
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:28,794
HEY, MAIL'S HERE.

13
00:00:28,796 --> 00:00:30,295
AH, THE MAIL.

14
00:00:30,297 --> 00:00:33,298
WHAT WOULD A DAY
ON EARTH BE LIKE
WITHOUT THE MAIL?

15
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:36,501
PROBABLY A LOT
LIKE SUNDAY.

16
00:00:36,503 --> 00:00:38,737
YOU KNOW, THAT'S
VERY CLEVER. HARRY.

17
00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:39,971
UH, WAIT. I SAID THAT.

18
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:41,640
OH, REALLY?

19
00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:44,609
HOW SAD.

20
00:00:44,611 --> 00:00:48,147
OH, THIS ONE'S ADDRESSED
TO "MR. RICHARD SOLOMON."

21
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:49,481
MY, HOW FORMAL.

22
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:51,983
"DEAREST RICHARD,

23
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,319
"I HOPE WITH ALL OF MY HEART
THAT THIS LETTER FINDS YOU.

24
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:57,022
"TOO MANY YEARS
HAVE GONE BY.
WE MISS YOU GREATLY.

25
00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:59,358
"PLEASE COME TO THE SOLOMON
FAMILY REUNION THIS YEAR.

26
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,094
ALL OF MY LOVE,
AUNT FLORENCE."

27
00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:03,495
DICK, YOU NEVER
TOLD US

28
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,029
YOU HAD
AN AUNT FLORENCE.

29
00:01:05,031 --> 00:01:06,131
HE DOESN'T, YOU MOOK.

30
00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:07,432
THAT LETTER WAS
OBVIOUSLY MEANT

31
00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:08,833
FOR SOME OTHER
DICK SOLOMON.

32
00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:11,003
WELL, I'LL JUST CALL UP
THIS AUNT FLORENCE

33
00:01:11,005 --> 00:01:12,070
AND SET HER STRAIGHT.

34
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,071
GREAT SCOTT!

35
00:01:14,207 --> 00:01:16,008
I'VE QUALIFIED FOR
PLATINUM STATUS!

36
00:01:18,845 --> 00:01:21,980
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
CARSEY-WERNER PRODUCTIONS
AND THE NATIONAL
BROADCASTING COMPANY

37
00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:34,626
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY
THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING
INSTITUTE, INC.

38
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:54,379
PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS
PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF
NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

39
00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:58,884
YES, HELLO.
IS THIS FLORENCE SOLOMON?

40
00:01:58,886 --> 00:02:01,119
HI, MY NAME IS DICK SOLOMON.

41
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:06,391
I-I'VE GOT THIS, UH,
INVITATION TO A FAMILY
REUNION, AND I--

42
00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:09,061
WELL, YES, IT'S NICE TO HEAR
YOUR VOICE, TOO, BUT--

43
00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:14,399
YES, I AM AS ADORABLE
AS I ALWAYS WAS.

44
00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:18,237
HAS IT REALLY BEEN 43 YEARS?

45
00:02:20,507 --> 00:02:23,342
THEN, IF I DID TURN UP,

46
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:26,078
YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T EVEN
RECOGNIZE ME, HUH?

47
00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:28,981
THAT'S--

48
00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:33,585
YES, IT WOULD BE WONDERFUL
TO SEE THE FAMILY AGAIN,
AUNT FLORENCE.

49
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:35,587
I LOVE YOU, TOO.

50
00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:36,588
YES...

51
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:38,323
YES. BYE-BYE.

52
00:02:40,094 --> 00:02:41,760
I HAVE
AN AUNT FLORENCE.

53
00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,261
WHAT?

54
00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:46,098
WHAT? OH, THAT WAS
AUNT FLORENCE
IN INDIANA.

55
00:02:46,100 --> 00:02:48,734
SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE
AN AUNT FLORENCE IN INDIANA?

56
00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:51,303
SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE
AN AUNT FLORENCE
IN INDIANA?

57
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:52,270
I DON'T.

58
00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:53,938
SO WHERE'S THE BIG
COINCIDENCE?

59
00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:56,174
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES,
NINA, YOU MAKE NO SENSE.

60
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,343
ARE YOU GONNA
VISIT HER?

61
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:00,512
WE HAVE A FAMILY REUNION
THIS WEEKEND.

62
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,948
IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S GONNA BE
WONDERFUL. YOU WANNA COME?

63
00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:04,316
ARE YOU SURE
IT'S ALL RIGHT?

64
00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,717
WELL, OF COURSE
IT'S ALL RIGHT.

65
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:06,785
OH, DICK, IT'S FAMILY, I--

66
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:08,119
NO, DON'T WORRY,
MARY.

67
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:09,955
I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND
MY FAMILY

68
00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:11,689
TO BE WARM
AND NURTURING.

69
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:13,624
IT WON'T BEAR
ANY RESEMBLANCE

70
00:03:13,626 --> 00:03:16,627
TO THE LIQUOR-DRENCHED
ORGY OF HATRED
AND RECRIMINATION

71
00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:18,997
THAT MARKS EVERY
ALBRIGHT GET-TOGETHER.

72
00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:28,707
SALLY, WE'RE NOT SPENDING
THE WHOLE WINTER
AT THIS REUNION.

73
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,375
BACK OFF, ALL RIGHT?
I'M NOT LIKE YOU GUYS.

74
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:33,245
I CAN'T JUST THROW IN
A TOOTHBRUSH AND
A PAIR OF UNDERWEAR

75
00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:34,479
AND BE SET FOR THE WEEKEND.

76
00:03:36,082 --> 00:03:37,849
UNDERWEAR!

77
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:44,122
WELL, IS EVERYBODY
READY TO GO TO
OUR FAMILY REUNION?

78
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:46,924
DICK, THIS IS NOT
OUR FAMILY.

79
00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:48,392
YEAH, WHAT IF THEY
START ASKING QUESTIONS?

80
00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:49,894
YEAH.
WELL, THAT'S
THE BEAUTY OF THIS.

81
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:52,597
AUNT FLORENCE
HASN'T SEEN RICHARD
SINCE HE WAS 5 YEARS OLD.

82
00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:53,831
FOR ALL THEY KNOW,
I'M HIM.

83
00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:55,233
WELL, AS A TEENAGER,

84
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:58,503
THE IDEA OF GOING
TO A FAMILY REUNION
SICKENS ME TO MY CORE.

85
00:03:58,505 --> 00:03:59,937
TOMMY, UH...

86
00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:02,740
WE'VE BEEN HERE ON EARTH
FOR ALMOST 3 YEARS,

87
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:05,343
AND WE STILL LACK SOMETHING
THAT'S SO IMPORTANT TO US--

88
00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:07,945
ROOTS. A CONNECTION.

89
00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:09,881
LIFE HERE IS NOT JUST ABOUT
WHERE WE'RE GOING,

90
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,916
IT'S ABOUT WHERE
WE'VE COME FROM.

91
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,284
NOW WE'D BETTER GET
ON THE ROAD.

92
00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:16,187
YOU KNOW HOW
AUNT FLORENCE HATES IT
WHEN WE'RE LATE.

93
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:25,029
[DING-DONG]

94
00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:26,964
AUNT FLORENCE?

95
00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:28,133
YES?

96
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,467
IT'S ME. RICHARD.

97
00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:30,468
RICHARD?

98
00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:33,205
OH, MY GOODNESS!
IT IS YOU!

99
00:04:33,207 --> 00:04:35,206
ABE! IT'S RICHARD!

100
00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:37,242
WELL, I'LL BE
DAMNED! HA HA!

101
00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:39,878
HA HA HA!
WELL, WELCOME BACK!

102
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,579
AND WHO ARE ALL THESE
LOVELY PEOPLE?

103
00:04:41,581 --> 00:04:45,850
WELL, THIS IS MY SISTER,
YOUR NIECE SALLY.

104
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:48,053
AND THIS IS MY SON,
YOUR GRANDNEPHEW TOMMY.

105
00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:50,889
AND THIS IS MY BROTHER,
YOUR NEPHEW HARRY.

106
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:51,890
YAAH! HARRY!

107
00:04:53,726 --> 00:04:56,728
AND THIS LITTLE HOTTIE
IS MY GIRLFRIEND MARY.

108
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:59,230
NICE TO MEET YOU,
FLORENCE.

109
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:00,965
RICHARD, COME GREET
THE FAMILY.

110
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,433
THEY CAN'T WAIT
TO SEE YOU.

111
00:05:02,435 --> 00:05:04,669
OH, I CAN'T WAIT
TO SEE THEM.

112
00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:08,240
UH, WELL, WE BROUGHT YOU THIS.

113
00:05:08,242 --> 00:05:09,908
IT GOES GREAT WITH STEAK.

114
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:13,945
AT LEAST IT DID LAST NIGHT.

115
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,179
YOU CHEAP BASTARD,

116
00:05:15,181 --> 00:05:17,048
YOU'LL FIT RIGHT IN
AROUND HERE.

117
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,650
BUNCH OF TIGHTWADS?

118
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,119
TIGHTWADS? DON'T
EVEN GET ME STARTED
WITH THIS FAMILY.

119
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,287
COME HERE.

120
00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:23,588
IT'S ME,
RICHARD!

121
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:27,759
OH, IT'S ME, RICHARD!

122
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,027
OH, THIS IS SO GREAT.

123
00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:30,495
I JUST OPENED MY ARMS,

124
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:33,765
AND I'M HUGGED AND KISSED
AND PINCHED BY ALL SORTS
OF PEOPLE.

125
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:36,368
THERE ISN'T EVEN
A COVER CHARGE.

126
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:38,603
WE'RE FAMILY,
RICHARD!

127
00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:41,439
FAMILY.
IT'S ME, RICHARD!

128
00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:44,542
OH, IT DOES
MY HEART GOOD
TO SEE HIM BACK.

129
00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:47,145
IT'S FUNNY. HE NEVER
MENTIONED ANY OF YOU.

130
00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:48,679
WELL, GIVEN
ALL THE TROUBLES,

131
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:50,548
I NEVER THOUGHT
I'D SEE HIM HERE AGAIN.

132
00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:53,618
WHAT TROUBLES?

133
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:58,156
HI.

134
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:00,358
HEY.

135
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,226
HEY.

136
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,498
THAT'S A GREAT TOP.

137
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,566
YOU THINK SO?

138
00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:10,701
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO WEAR.

139
00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:11,969
OH, NO, IT'S--
IT'S PERFECT.

140
00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:13,971
OH, THANKS. I LIVE
WITH A BUNCH OF MEN,

141
00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:15,306
AND THEY WERE NO HELP
AT ALL.

142
00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:17,008
YEAH. HA HA.

143
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,543
HEY, I'M MICHELLE,
MARTHA'S DAUGHTER.

144
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:21,079
OH, HI, I'M SALLY,
RICHARD'S SISTER.

145
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:22,947
NICE TO MEET YOU.
YOU, TOO.

146
00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:24,315
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

147
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,484
MY SWEATER WOULD GO
SO GREAT WITH THAT TOP.

148
00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:27,719
OH, YOU WANNA TRY IT ON?

149
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:28,987
SURE.

150
00:06:30,457 --> 00:06:32,457
OH, YEAH.
DEFINITELY HIP.

151
00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:33,992
COOL. HA HA.

152
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:36,761
HEY, YOU WANNA
WEAR MY SHOES?

153
00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:40,665
I'VE GOT A PAIR OF SOCKS
I'M NOT USING. I'LL GO GET 'EM.

154
00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:52,744
IT'S, UH, POT ROAST.

155
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:55,180
OH, WOW.
I WAS WAY OFF.

156
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,417
HI. I'M JANINE.

157
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,185
I'M TOMMY.

158
00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:02,354
SO...

159
00:07:02,356 --> 00:07:04,155
[BORED]
THIS IS PRETTY FUN, HUH?

160
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,356
OH, YEAH.

161
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:07,291
HEY? YOU WANNA
GET OUTTA HERE?

162
00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:09,427
OH, YEAH.
COME ON.

163
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,963
AUNT SYLVIA: AUDREY MADE
HER FAMOUS AMBROSIA.

164
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:14,199
YOU BETTER HURRY,
IT'S GONNA GO.

165
00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:17,369
SWEET WOMAN,
THAT SYLVIA.

166
00:07:17,371 --> 00:07:19,704
YEAH, SWEET.
BUT DUMB
AS A DOORKNOB.

167
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:24,042
AND DON'T EVEN
GET ME STARTED
WITH HER KIDS.

168
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:26,044
MMM. ROCKET SCIENTISTS,
HUH?

169
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:27,645
OHH, YOU GOT IT, PAL.

170
00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:31,049
WELL, DOORKNOBS
BEGET DOORKNOBS.

171
00:07:34,554 --> 00:07:36,554
[HACKING IN UNISON]

172
00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:40,258
IT'S ME, RICHARD!

173
00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:42,894
FELLAS...

174
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,562
IT'S ME, RICHARD!

175
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,600
OH, YOU'RE NOT HUGGERS.
I UNDERSTAND.

176
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:51,135
RICHARD, I DON'T SUPPOSE
YOU REMEMBER ME.

177
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,470
I'M YOUR COUSIN JACOB.

178
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,673
JACOB, OF COURSE.
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.

179
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:56,775
IT CERTAINLY HAS,
DONUTS.

180
00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:57,909
DONUTS?

181
00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,910
WAS THAT
MY NICKNAME?

182
00:07:59,912 --> 00:08:01,246
SURE.
DON'T YOU REMEMBER?

183
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:03,014
I WAS DUTCH,
AND YOU WERE DONUTS.

184
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:04,015
DONUTS?

185
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:05,650
THIS GUY ONCE ATE
2 DOZEN DOUGHNUTS...

186
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:10,421
AND PUKED 'EM UP ON
GRANDMA LILLIAN'S WIG.

187
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:11,823
DONUTS.

188
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,491
SAY, YOU'RE RUNNING
ON EMPTY THERE, DICK.

189
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,759
LET ME, UH,
GET YOU A DRINK.

190
00:08:14,761 --> 00:08:16,261
SOUNDS GOOD.
FELLAS,

191
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:17,729
LAST CHANCE
FOR HUGS.

192
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:20,565
OK. CATCH YOU LATER.

193
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,700
SO, DICK,

194
00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:24,569
IT'S BEEN A WHILE.

195
00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:26,771
I WOULD'VE COME SOONER
IF I'D KNOWN WHAT I
WAS MISSING.

196
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:29,674
I'LL BET YOU WOULD'VE.

197
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,776
WE'VE DONE ALL RIGHT
SINCE YOU'VE BEEN AWAY,
HAVEN'T WE?

198
00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:35,046
OH, AND I'VE NEVER SEEN
SO MANY KINDS OF DIP.

199
00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:38,449
COME ON, COUSIN.

200
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:39,951
YOU CAN BE STRAIGHT WITH ME.

201
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:43,188
WHAT REALLY
BRINGS YOU BACK HERE
AFTER ALL THIS TIME?

202
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,857
I CAME TO MEET
MY FAMILY.

203
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,292
RIGHT.

204
00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:51,729
BOY, YOU ARE SOME
PIECE OF WORK, DICK.

205
00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:53,197
WAIT. UH...

206
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,066
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
DUTCH?

207
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:56,634
IT'S ME, DONUTS!

208
00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:00,905
HE TOLD YOU GUYS
NOT TO HUG ME,
DIDN'T HE?

209
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,975
SO, SALLY, YOU HAVE
A BOYFRIEND?

210
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,310
YES, I DO, MICHELLE.

211
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:06,711
HIS NAME IS DON,

212
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:07,979
AND HE'S A COP.

213
00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:09,647
OH, COPS ARE SO HOT.

214
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:11,482
OH, YEAH,
TELL ME ABOUT IT.

215
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,985
AND I GOT ME
THE HOTTEST ONE.

216
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:15,252
HEY, CHECK HIM OUT.

217
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,995
HANDS OFF, HON.
HE'S MINE.

218
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:30,000
YEAH, WELL, MY BOYFRIEND
JUST WORKS IN A CAFETERIA.

219
00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:33,838
HOLD UP. DOES HE WEAR ONE OF
THOSE COOL CAFETERIA UNIFORMS?

220
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,607
YEAH.
AND AREN'T
UNIFORMS SEXY?

221
00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:37,609
WELL, YEAH.

222
00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:39,010
ALL RIGHT THEN!

223
00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:44,749
OH, YOU ARE SO COOL.
I JUST FEEL LIKE I
CAN TELL YOU STUFF.

224
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,517
YOU KNOW, KINDA
LIKE YOU'RE MY...

225
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:47,518
MY SISTER.

226
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:56,027
SO, JANINE...

227
00:09:57,697 --> 00:09:59,531
DO YOU, UH,

228
00:09:59,533 --> 00:10:01,165
HAVE A BOYFRIEND?

229
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:04,268
NO.

230
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,404
BUT I'M LOOKING.

231
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,873
WELL...

232
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,374
LOOK NO FURTHER.

233
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:14,278
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

234
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,113
MAKING MY MOVE.

235
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,115
TOMMY, WE CAN'T DO THAT.

236
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:19,650
WE'RE, LIKE, COUSINS.

237
00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:22,653
OH, YEAH.
ABOUT THAT, SEE...

238
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:25,490
THE THING IS, THAT'S
NOT REALLY ILLEGAL
OR ANYTHING.

239
00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:27,058
IT'S JUST...TABOO.

240
00:10:28,094 --> 00:10:29,794
OH, MY GOD!

241
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,462
I'M, LIKE, SO CREEPED OUT.

242
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,531
WAIT, WAIT. WE'RE
VERY DISTANT COUSINS.

243
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:36,734
YOU HAVE NO IDEA
HOW DISTANT WE ARE.
DISTANT!

244
00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:42,073
OH, MARY, THE ODDEST THING
JUST HAPPENED.

245
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:44,408
I THINK ONE OF MY RELATIVES
TOLD ME OFF.

246
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:45,576
WAS IT JACOB?

247
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:47,411
HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

248
00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:50,247
DICK, HOW MUCH DID
YOUR FATHER TELL YOU

249
00:10:50,249 --> 00:10:53,417
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED
BETWEEN HIM
AND THE FAMILY?

250
00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:55,086
NOT A LOT.

251
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:58,089
H-HE LOST HIS MOUTH
IN THE WAR.

252
00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:00,925
YOU BETTER SIT DOWN.

253
00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:04,095
DICK...

254
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:06,430
WHEN YOUR FATHER
FELL IN LOVE
WITH YOUR MOTHER,

255
00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:08,399
SHE HAD JUST ARRIVED
FROM LITHUANIA.

256
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:11,335
SHE WAS POOR,
SHE DIDN'T SPEAK
ANY ENGLISH.

257
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,937
THE FAMILY DIDN'T
APPROVE OF HER.

258
00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:13,938
MOMMY?

259
00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:15,606
ANYWAY...

260
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:19,276
YOUR FATHER WAS FORCED
TO CHOOSE BETWEEN HER
AND THE FAMILY,

261
00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:20,444
AND HE CHOSE HER.

262
00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:21,445
DADDY?

263
00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:23,848
SO THE FAMILY...
DISOWNED HIM,

264
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,616
AND IT WAS
JACOB'S FATHER

265
00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:28,019
WHO CUT HIM OUT
OF THE FAMILY
FURNITURE BUSINESS.

266
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,488
CAST OUT ONTO THE STREET
BY HIS OWN FLESH AND BLOOD?

267
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,290
MY GOD, MARY.

268
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:35,059
MY FAMILY IS DESPICABLE.

269
00:11:35,061 --> 00:11:36,961
AH, YOU GET USED TO IT.

270
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,434
THEY GAVE YOUR MOM
AND DAD THE BOOT, HUH?

271
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:45,103
SALLY, IT'S
<i> OUR</i> MOM AND DAD.

272
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,871
IT'S NOBODY'S
MOM AND DAD!

273
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:49,874
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT
OUR FAMILY WOULD DO
ANYTHING SO HEARTLESS.

274
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,977
DON'T EVEN GET ME
STARTED ON THIS FAMILY.

275
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:56,881
ROGER'S A DRUNK.

276
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:58,483
DARREN
HASN'T PAID TAXES

277
00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,684
SINCE THE EISENHOWER
ADMINISTRATION.

278
00:12:00,686 --> 00:12:04,655
COUSIN MARTY'S GOT
HIS OWN WEBSITE--

279
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:06,657
NAKEDMARTY.COM.

280
00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:11,829
WHY DON'T WE JUST
ADMIT TO THEM
THAT WE'RE IMPOSTORS?

281
00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:12,830
YEAH, RIGHT.

282
00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:14,331
YOU JUST WANT US
TO COME CLEAN

283
00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:16,067
SO YOU CAN GO SUCK FACE
WITH YOUR COUSIN.

284
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,835
YEAH, WELL, AT LEAST
I HAVEN'T DELUDED MYSELF

285
00:12:17,837 --> 00:12:19,170
INTO THINKING
I HAVE A SISTER.

286
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,306
HEY, YOU LEAVE MISSY
OUT OF THIS.

287
00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:22,673
I'M CURIOUS.

288
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:27,478
DOES THIS FAMILY HAVE
A HISTORY OF MENTAL ILLNESS?

289
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:31,348
WELL, THERE IS
A TOUCH OF DEMENTIA
ON MY FATHER'S SIDE.

290
00:12:31,350 --> 00:12:34,185
OH, THAT EXPLAINS
A FEW THINGS.

291
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:35,686
DICK, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?

292
00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:36,687
I HAVE TO TALK
TO JACOB.

293
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:37,688
WELL,
CALM DOWN.

294
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:38,689
JACOB,
WE HAVE TO TALK.

295
00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:39,924
HERE IT COMES.

296
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,993
I'VE HEARD
SOME THINGS
ABOUT THE FAMILY

297
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:42,994
AND THE BUSINESS--

298
00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:45,129
SO YOU FINALLY
WORKED UP THE MARBLES

299
00:12:45,131 --> 00:12:46,530
TO GET AROUND TO IT.

300
00:12:46,532 --> 00:12:47,765
SO, THIS<i> IS</i>
<i> ABOUT THE BUSINESS.</i>

301
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,200
WHO'S SHE, YOUR LAWYER?

302
00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:51,202
OH, NO, I'M
HIS GIRLFRIEND.

303
00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:52,136
OH.

304
00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:53,271
NOT MARRIED?

305
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,739
THAT'S CURIOUS.

306
00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:56,274
LOOK, DICK,

307
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,909
YOUR FATHER
LEFT THIS FAMILY,

308
00:12:57,911 --> 00:13:00,344
AND MY FATHER WAS RIGHT
TO CUT HIM OUT
OF THE BUSINESS.

309
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:02,480
AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,
YOU'RE NOT ENTITLED
TO A PENNY.

310
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,015
YOU THINK I WANT MONEY?!

311
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,184
WELL, BY THE LOOKS OF
THAT CAR YOU ARRIVED IN,

312
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:07,085
I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED.

313
00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:09,320
I WOULD HAVE YOU KNOW

314
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:11,723
THAT I'M QUALIFIED
FOR PLATINUM STATUS!

315
00:13:11,725 --> 00:13:13,958
SO I'D ZIP IT
IF I WERE YOU!

316
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,161
OH, PLEASE.
WE SHOULDN'T
GET PERSONAL.

317
00:13:17,163 --> 00:13:18,596
I'D STAY OUT OF THIS,
HONEY.

318
00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:20,165
HONEY?!

319
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:23,268
WELL, LET ME TELL YOU
A THING OR TWO,<i> HONEY.</i>

320
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:25,403
WHOEVER DID
YOUR ELECTROLYSIS...

321
00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:26,670
MISSED A SPOT!

322
00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:30,074
HOW DARE YOU?!

323
00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:31,209
COME ON, JACOB.

324
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:32,243
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
THAT'S RIGHT!

325
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:33,978
HIDE BEHIND
HER APRON STRINGS.

326
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:36,814
OH, PLEASE, RICHARD.
YOU'RE ACTING JUST
LIKE YOUR FATHER.

327
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,149
DAMN STRAIGHT,
AUNT FLORENCE!

328
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,317
DAMN STRAIGHT!

329
00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:45,957
[PLAYING CLARINET
BADLY]

330
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:48,692
MAN, I CAN'T CATCH A BREAK.

331
00:13:48,694 --> 00:13:50,962
I FINALLY MEET A HOT GIRL--
WHO LIKES ME--

332
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:53,163
AND SHE TURNS OUT TO BE
MY COUSIN?!

333
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:57,268
WELL...
HAPPENS TO A LOT
OF GUYS, KIDDO.

334
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:00,738
JANINE.

335
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:04,241
WAIT A SECOND.
JANINE SOLOMON?
YEAH.

336
00:14:04,243 --> 00:14:06,310
WELL, THIS IS
YOUR LUCKY DAY.

337
00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:08,413
UNCLE ABE TOLD ME
SHE'S ADOPTED.

338
00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:10,782
ADOPTED?
ARE YOU SURE?

339
00:14:10,784 --> 00:14:15,452
OH, DON'T EVEN GET ME
STARTED ON HER FATHER'S
LOW SPERM COUNT.

340
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:19,790
HARRY!
I COULD KISS YOU!

341
00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:23,895
WELL...

342
00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:25,296
HE'S A GOOD KID.

343
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,132
HORNY, BUT GOOD.

344
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,102
HEY, SALLY, CAN I
TELL YOU A SECRET?

345
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,903
SURE, MISSY.
OF COURSE YOU CAN.

346
00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:35,206
I'M A VIRGIN.

347
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,641
WOW.

348
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:37,642
I KNOW.

349
00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:39,811
REALLY? WOW.

350
00:14:39,813 --> 00:14:43,581
I REMEMBER WHAT THOSE DAYS
WERE LIKE, YOU KNOW.

351
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:46,918
FEELING LIKE I WAS
THE ONLY PERSON ON EARTH
WHO HADN'T HAD SEX.

352
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,220
WONDERING WHAT IT
WAS GONNA BE LIKE.

353
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,588
WHEN DID YOU LOSE
YOUR VIRGINITY?

354
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,156
AH, A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO.

355
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,960
WOW.

356
00:14:56,962 --> 00:14:58,663
YEAH. SO WHAT ARE YOU
WAITING FOR?

357
00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:02,533
I DON'T KNOW.
UH, THE RIGHT GUY.

358
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:04,001
OH, MY GOD.

359
00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:06,337
THAT IS EXACTLY
WHAT I DID.

360
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:07,438
THAT IS SO COOL!

361
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,175
LOOK,
I'M TELLIN' YA.

362
00:15:11,177 --> 00:15:12,676
I HEARD YA.

363
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,681
FAH! YOU SHOULD
BE SO LUCKY.

364
00:15:17,683 --> 00:15:21,352
AH! I SHOULD
LIVE SO LONG.

365
00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:22,853
BRAUGGGHH!

366
00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:24,389
YAAAH-AGGH!

367
00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:27,591
JANINE. THERE YOU ARE.

368
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:29,127
I'VE BEEN LOOKING
ALL OVER FOR YOU.

369
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:31,663
I KNOW.
I'VE BEEN AVOIDING YOU.

370
00:15:31,665 --> 00:15:32,997
NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

371
00:15:32,999 --> 00:15:35,166
SEE, IT'S OK IF WE KISS
BECAUSE WE'RE NOT RELATED.

372
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:38,269
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

373
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,369
YOU KNOW,
'CAUSE YOU'RE ADOPTED.

374
00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:42,706
ADOPTED?

375
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:45,142
[NERVOUS LAUGH]
NO. NO WAY. NO, I'M NOT.

376
00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:47,245
YEAH, SURE YOU ARE.
EVERYBODY KNOWS IT.

377
00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:50,949
SO, UH...
YOU WANNA MAKE OUT?

378
00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:52,817
MOM!

379
00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:55,520
YEAH.
YOU JUST CONFIRM IT
WITH YOUR MOTHER

380
00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:57,522
AND, UH,
GET BACK TO ME.

381
00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:03,761
THEY'RE RIGHT.
YOU CAN'T GO HOME AGAIN.

382
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:06,898
SO MUCH FOR "FAMILY"
AND "BROTHERHOOD"

383
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:09,433
AND "HOME IS
WHERE THE HEART IS."
WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

384
00:16:09,435 --> 00:16:12,437
NOW YOU KNOW WHERE
I'VE BEEN COMING FROM.

385
00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:14,205
YOU GO HOME
FOR THE HOLIDAYS,

386
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:16,574
YOU SEE THAT BEAUTIFUL
CHRISTMAS TREE
IN THE WINDOW.

387
00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:18,209
EVERYTHING LOOKS
SO IDYLLIC.

388
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,244
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN
THERE'S YOUR MOTHER

389
00:16:20,246 --> 00:16:22,213
SWINGING A 5-IRON
AT YOUR FATHER'S HEAD,

390
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:24,682
AND THE TREE'S
IN THE EGGNOG.

391
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:26,484
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH IT?

392
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,086
I REPRESS.

393
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:30,387
REPRESSION IS THE KEY
TO A HAPPY FAMILY.

394
00:16:30,389 --> 00:16:32,857
DOESN'T SOUND
VERY HEALTHY.

395
00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:34,492
IF YOU YELL AND SCREAM,

396
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:37,327
YOU END UP SOUNDING
LIKE YOUR MOTHER.

397
00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:39,263
I'M GONNA GO GET
ANOTHER DRINK.

398
00:16:40,599 --> 00:16:41,766
DIDN'T YOU JUST FINISH ONE?

399
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:44,001
GET OFF MY BACK!

400
00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:48,773
HEY, SO, DO YOU THINK
I SHOULD GO LIGHTER?

401
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:50,507
HONEY, IF YOU DO,
I WILL KILL YOU.

402
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:52,944
MICHELLE!

403
00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:53,945
JENNY!

404
00:16:53,947 --> 00:16:55,212
[BOTH SHRIEK]

405
00:16:55,214 --> 00:16:56,880
MICHELLE? MICHELLE?

406
00:16:56,882 --> 00:16:58,082
MICHELLE!

407
00:16:58,084 --> 00:16:59,917
HUH?

408
00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:00,852
WHO'S THAT?

409
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,286
OH! OH!

410
00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:03,421
WHY, SALLY, THIS IS JENNY.

411
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:04,689
HI, JENNY.
HI.

412
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,457
SHE'S MY SISTER.

413
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:07,525
SISTER?

414
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:08,693
HOW'S BOOTY?

415
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,194
OH,
BOOTY'S GREAT.

416
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,128
WH-WHO'S BOOTY?

417
00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:13,464
HEY, DID YOU SING
TO THE LAKE YET?

418
00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:14,665
YOU GUYS SING
TO THE LAKE?

419
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,400
OH, YEAH. EVER
SINCE WE WERE KIDS.

420
00:17:16,402 --> 00:17:19,069
OH, GREAT! LET'S GO
DO SOME LAKE SINGIN'!

421
00:17:19,071 --> 00:17:22,673
UH, WELL, IT'S KINDA
JUST BETWEEN THE TWO OF US.

422
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,142
ARE YOU SURE
I CAN'T HELP?

423
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:27,545
I MEAN,
THAT'S A--A BIG LAKE,

424
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:30,080
AND I'M REAL LOUD.

425
00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:32,249
UH...IT'S OK.

426
00:17:32,251 --> 00:17:34,852
YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST THIS
SORT OF STUPID SISTER THING.

427
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,153
[AWKWARD LAUGH]

428
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,199
ALL RIGHT,
EVERYBODY,

429
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:50,501
GET READY.
HERE WE GO.

430
00:17:52,338 --> 00:17:55,173
OHH! [MUTTERING]

431
00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,244
[SARCASTIC] THIS WAS
SOME GREAT IDEA, DICK.

432
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:02,279
YEAH, I CAN'T WAIT TO
COME BACK NEXT YEAR.

433
00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:04,782
DICK, YOU WANNA TELL YOUR
FAMILY TO STOP WHINING.

434
00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:06,851
NO. JUST SMILE
AND REPRESS.

435
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:08,118
SMILE AND REPRESS.

436
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:09,119
ALL RIGHT
NOW, EVERYBODY.

437
00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:10,921
COME ON NOW,
SQUEEZE TOGETHER.

438
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,022
SQUEEZE TOGETHER,
THAT'S GOOD.

439
00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:13,357
GOOD. HA HA.

440
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:14,525
ALL RIGHT NOW...

441
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:15,693
EVERYBODY...

442
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,027
SMILE!

443
00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:20,498
OHH!

444
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:23,134
I CAN'T SMILE!
I HAVE NOTHING
TO SMILE ABOUT!

445
00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:24,135
I HATE THIS FAMILY!

446
00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:25,770
RIGHT BACK AT YA, DICK!

447
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:28,405
AND I SO WANTED
TO BE PROUD OF YOU.

448
00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:30,307
[BITTERLY]
MY FAMILY.

449
00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:33,878
YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO GIVE ME WARMTH
AND UNENDING LOVE.

450
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:37,381
INSTEAD YOU GIVE ME
A PUNCH IN THE GUT
AND A COLD TUNA MELT!

451
00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:38,482
WELL, I'VE HAD IT!

452
00:18:38,484 --> 00:18:40,517
AND SO I TAKE MY LEAVE
OF THIS HELLHOUSE

453
00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:42,119
JUST LIKE MY FATHER
BEFORE ME!

454
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,287
BYE-BYE NOW.

455
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,723
I'D PACK YOU A DOGGY BAG,
BUT I SAW HER

456
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:47,991
STUFFING THE HORS D'OEUVRES
INTO HER POCKETS.

457
00:18:47,993 --> 00:18:50,561
DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF.
IT WAS THE SILVERWARE.

458
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:53,898
EXCUSE ME.
WEREN'T YOU LEAVING?

459
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:54,932
OH, BELIEVE ME,
WE'RE LEAVING.

460
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:57,901
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]

461
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:05,642
HEY! HEY! HEY!

462
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:09,446
WHAT THE HELL'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU PEOPLE?

463
00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:12,750
YOU KNOW WHAT? I GOT
A LITTLE NEWS FLASH FOR YA.

464
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:14,251
DICK, JACOB,

465
00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:18,055
BOTH YOUR FATHERS
WERE WORLD-CLASS
PAINS IN THE ASS.

466
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:19,824
AND YOU KNOW WHAT I
ADMIRE ABOUT 'EM?

467
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,092
THEY'RE BOTH DEAD!

468
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,631
AND RIGHT NOW,
I WISH I WAS WITH 'EM.

469
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:28,266
AMEN TO THAT!

470
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,101
40 YEARS LATER,

471
00:19:30,103 --> 00:19:33,104
YOU TWO MORONS
ARE STILL CARRYING ON
THE SAME GRUDGE?!

472
00:19:33,106 --> 00:19:34,505
GIVE IT A REST!

473
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,507
WHAT, YOU DON'T LIKE
EACH OTHER? BOO-HOO!

474
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,742
SUCK IT UP.
YOU'RE FAMILY!

475
00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:40,944
DON'T GET ME STARTED.

476
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:43,414
HARRY,

477
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:45,883
YOU ARE SO RIGHT.

478
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:49,453
THIS TIME LAST WEEK
I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE
A FAMILY.

479
00:19:49,455 --> 00:19:53,156
AND NOW HERE I AM,
READY TO REJECT YOU ALL

480
00:19:53,158 --> 00:19:55,459
JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T MEET
MY STUPID EXPECTATIONS.

481
00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:58,061
YEAH, YOU GUYS HAVE
BOTH GOT A POINT.

482
00:19:58,063 --> 00:20:00,464
THIS FAMILY'S BEEN
SPLIT UP TOO LONG.

483
00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,999
IN FACT, I DON'T EVEN
REMEMBER WHY ANYMORE.

484
00:20:03,001 --> 00:20:07,204
DICK, YOU MAY NOT BE
MY KIND OF GUY,

485
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,072
BUT YOU'RE A SOLOMON.

486
00:20:09,074 --> 00:20:11,976
AND THERE'S NOT MUCH
I CAN DO ABOUT THAT.

487
00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:13,877
SAME HERE, JACOB.

488
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:17,248
YOU MAY BE KIND OF CREEPY,
BUT YOU'RE FAMILY.

489
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:19,617
COUSIN?
COUSIN.

490
00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:21,084
WELL, THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.

491
00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:22,452
OH, JACOB!

492
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:29,660
AAH!

493
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:30,995
GET AWAY FROM ME!

494
00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:36,500
WELL, GOOD-BYE NOW,
SALLY.

495
00:20:36,502 --> 00:20:37,768
BYE-BYE, JENNY.

496
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:39,203
IT WAS REALLY GREAT
MEETING YOU, SALLY.

497
00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:40,504
YEAH, YOU, TOO,
MICHELLE.

498
00:20:40,506 --> 00:20:41,672
HEY...

499
00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:44,675
IF ANYTHING SHOULD
HAPPEN TO JENNY...

500
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,344
YOU KNOW?

501
00:20:48,514 --> 00:20:50,080
GIVE ME A CALL.

502
00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:55,753
GOOD-BYE, RICHARD.
I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME.

503
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:59,523
IT'S NICE TO BE
ONE FAMILY AGAIN.

504
00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:01,192
OH, IT SURE IS.

505
00:21:01,194 --> 00:21:02,192
GOOD-BYE, SYLVIA.

506
00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:03,194
GOOD-BYE.

507
00:21:03,196 --> 00:21:04,695
YOU KNOW, MARY,

508
00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:07,231
THE GREAT THING
ABOUT REDISCOVERING
YOUR ROOTS IS

509
00:21:07,233 --> 00:21:10,701
YOU SUDDENLY HAVE
A WHOLE NEW WORLD
OF PEOPLE TO BLAME

510
00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:12,536
FOR, YOU KNOW,
EVERYTHING.

511
00:21:14,206 --> 00:21:15,205
HARRY.

512
00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:16,206
ABE.

513
00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:18,442
I WANT YOU
TO HAVE THESE.

514
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,312
OHH, THAT'S SO NICE.

515
00:21:21,314 --> 00:21:24,282
AWW, I'M GONNA MISS YOU,
UNCLE ABE.

516
00:21:24,284 --> 00:21:27,818
OH, DON'T GET ME STARTED
WITH THAT EMOTIONAL CRAP.

517
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:29,787
IT'S TOO LATE!

518
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:32,222
I'VE ALREADY STARTED!

519
00:21:38,231 --> 00:21:40,397
JANINE, HI. IT'S TOMMY.

520
00:21:40,399 --> 00:21:42,599
UH, FROM THE REUNION?

521
00:21:42,601 --> 00:21:45,602
RIGHT, YEAH,
THE ONE WHO TOLD YOU
YOU WERE ADOPTED, RIGHT.

522
00:21:45,604 --> 00:21:48,572
ANYWAY. SAY, UH, YOU
WANNA GO OUT ON SUNDAY?

523
00:21:48,574 --> 00:21:51,675
OH, MEETING YOUR
BIRTH MOTHER, HUH?

524
00:21:51,677 --> 00:21:53,410
WELL, LISTEN, CAN IT WAIT?

525
00:21:53,412 --> 00:21:56,113
YOU KNOW,
IT'S BEEN 16 YEARS.
WHAT'S ANOTHER DAY, RIGHT?

526
00:21:56,115 --> 00:21:58,182
UH, WELL, MAYBE
I COULD COME, YOU KNOW?

527
00:21:58,184 --> 00:22:01,252
WE COULD CATCH A MOVIE,
SWING BY YOUR BIRTH MOM'S.

528
00:22:01,254 --> 00:22:02,787
HELLO? HELLO? HEL--

529
00:22:02,789 --> 00:22:06,423
OH, MAN. GOT CUT OFF.