1
00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:05,270
HI, GUYS.

2
00:00:05,272 --> 00:00:07,405
HI, DON.
HEY, DON.
OH, HEY, DON.

3
00:00:07,407 --> 00:00:10,008
YEAH, I JUST, YOU KNOW,
HAPPENED TO BE
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, AND, UH,

4
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,944
HERE YOU GO, DICK.

5
00:00:11,946 --> 00:00:13,345
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

6
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,480
IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY?
FOR ME?

7
00:00:15,482 --> 00:00:17,783
WELL, TOMORROW.
IT'S MAY 5, RIGHT?

8
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:20,618
IF THAT'S WHAT I SAID,
THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

9
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:21,619
MAY 5.

10
00:00:21,621 --> 00:00:22,987
WHAT YEAR?

11
00:00:22,989 --> 00:00:24,156
EVERY YEAR.

12
00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:27,425
WELL, I WOULD HAVE
DROPPED BY TOMORROW,

13
00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:28,927
BUT RUMOR HAS IT

14
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:30,428
THAT THE, UH, FBI

15
00:00:30,430 --> 00:00:33,031
HAS AGENTS IN TOWN
LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY.

16
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,832
YEAH, THEY MIGHT NEED
OLD DONNIE'S HELP.

17
00:00:34,834 --> 00:00:36,035
WHO ARE THEY
LOOKING FOR?

18
00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:37,969
THAT'S CLASSIFIED
INFORMATION.

19
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:39,705
YOU HAVE NO IDEA,
DO YOU?

20
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,242
THAT'S ALSO CLASSIFIED.

21
00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:45,977
WELL, I GOTTA GO.
SEE YOU, SALLY.

22
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:47,545
TOMMY, DICK, HARRY.

23
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:54,085
YOU KNOW,
I--I JUST NOTICED THAT
YOU'RE TOM, DICK, AND HARRY.

24
00:00:58,191 --> 00:01:00,025
SO?

25
00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:01,960
SO TOM, DICK, AND HARRY.

26
00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:04,996
YOU KNOW, LIKE
"EVERY TOM, DICK, AND HARRY."

27
00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:06,498
WELL...THAT DOESN'T MEAN

28
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:09,367
THAT IT'S A CALCULATED
ATTEMPT ON OUR PART
TO SEEM AVERAGE.

29
00:01:09,369 --> 00:01:12,003
YEAH. I MEAN, WE JUST
PICKED NAMES AT RANDOM

30
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:13,605
WHEN WE GOT HERE.

31
00:01:15,175 --> 00:01:17,309
I MEAN WHEN WE LANDED.

32
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,345
BYE, DON.

33
00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:21,513
BYE.

34
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,149
WELL,
THAT WAS CLOSE.

35
00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:26,785
WAIT A MINUTE.
WEREN'T YOU LISTENING
TO WHAT DON JUST SAID?

36
00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:28,353
ABOUT OUR NAMES
BEING SUSPICIOUS?

37
00:01:28,355 --> 00:01:29,287
NO, NOT THAT.

38
00:01:29,289 --> 00:01:30,622
ABOUT THE FBI
BEING IN TOWN?

39
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:31,623
NO, NO!

40
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:34,092
ABOUT IT BEING
MY BIRTHDAY.

41
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,294
DICK, IT'S YOUR FAKE
BIRTHDAY.

42
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:38,864
AND YOU'RE MY FAKE FAMILY,
AND NONE OF YOU REMEMBERED.

43
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,100
WAIT A MINUTE.

44
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,337
YOU'RE GIVING ME
A SURPRISE PARTY.

45
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:46,371
NO, WE'RE NOT.

46
00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:48,707
[SING-SONG]
YES, YOU ARE.

47
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:49,941
NO, WE'RE NOT.

48
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,376
YES, YOU ARE.

49
00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:53,645
YOU ARE THROWING ME
A SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY
TOMORROW NIGHT.

50
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:54,546
THAT'S AN ORDER.

51
00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:55,914
WAIT. TOMORROW?!

52
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:57,982
YES! AT 7 P.M. SHARP.

53
00:01:57,984 --> 00:01:59,317
OH! OH!

54
00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:01,219
I'M GONNA BE SO SURPRISED.

55
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:38,357
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
CARSEY-WERNER PRODUCTIONS AND
THE NATIONAL BROADCASTING
COMPANY

56
00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:44,162
I, UH, HAVE YOUR EXAMS,
EVERYONE.

57
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,597
BUT YOU DIDN'T
GRADE THESE.

58
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:47,799
OH, MAN, HE'S NOT EVEN
GRADING THEM ANYMORE.

59
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:49,734
WELL, IS THERE ANYONE HERE

60
00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:51,969
WHO THINKS
THEY MIGHT HAVE PASSED?

61
00:02:51,971 --> 00:02:53,338
YEAH. ALL RIGHT, THEN,

62
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:56,341
THE IMPORTANT THING
IS THAT STAPLED TO EACH EXAM

63
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,777
IS AN INVITATION
TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.

64
00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:01,245
YOU'RE INVITING US
TO YOUR PARTY?

65
00:03:01,247 --> 00:03:02,881
I DIDN'T EVEN THINK
YOU LIKED US.

66
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,950
OH, BUG.

67
00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:07,352
I DON'T.
I LIKE PRESENTS.

68
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:10,121
KEEP IN MIND,
I WILL BE AWARE

69
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:12,623
OF ANY NO-SHOWS.

70
00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:14,125
YOU KNOW,
DR. SOLOMON,

71
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:16,627
THIS COULD BE
INTERPRETED
AS BLACKMAIL.

72
00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:18,196
UH, NO, CARYN.

73
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,798
IT'S EXTORTION.

74
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,967
HE'S A PROFESSOR.
HE CAN'T CONTROL
OUR SOCIAL LIVES.

75
00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:24,202
SO WILL YOU BE THERE,
PITMAN?

76
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,271
ARE YOU KIDDING?
I WOULDN'T MISS IT.

77
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:31,476
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS
AND CHEERS]

78
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:41,186
EH--EH--
HAVE YOU BEEN HERE
ALL SEMESTER?

79
00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:43,121
OH, NO.
I'M MRS. EVERLY,

80
00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:44,755
AND THIS IS MY SON NED.

81
00:03:44,757 --> 00:03:46,224
WE'RE AUDITING YOUR CLASS.

82
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,325
I WASN'T INFORMED.

83
00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:49,527
OH, MY GOODNESS,
YOU'RE SMART.

84
00:03:49,529 --> 00:03:50,662
OH.

85
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:53,165
OH, MY GOODNESS,
YOU'RE PERCEPTIVE.

86
00:03:53,167 --> 00:03:55,167
EVERYONE TOLD US
WHAT A GENIUS YOU ARE,

87
00:03:55,169 --> 00:03:56,734
AND, BOY,
WERE THEY RIGHT.

88
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,670
YOU'RE VERY UNUSUAL.

89
00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:01,139
MAMA LIKES
THE UNUSUAL.

90
00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:04,042
OH, NOW, NED,
LET'S NOT BORE
THE GREAT MAN.

91
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:05,577
WELL, I HOPE
TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

92
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,078
YOU CAN COUNT ON IT.

93
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,247
[BELL RINGS]

94
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,249
OK, PEOPLE,
YOUR ASSIGNMENT IS

95
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:14,219
TO DISCUSS WHAT GIFTS
YOU WILL BE BUYING
FOR ME.

96
00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:15,787
AND--AND, SERIOUSLY,

97
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,289
TRY TO TOP EACH OTHER,

98
00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:18,390
CAN YOU?

99
00:04:24,231 --> 00:04:26,531
HI. IS DR. SOLOMON IN?

100
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:28,600
WHY, YES, I AM.

101
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:29,901
DR.<i> DICK</i> SOLOMON.

102
00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,703
OH, THAT DR. SOLOMON.

103
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,671
HE'S NOT YOUR TYPE.

104
00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:36,874
I'M FROM THE PENDLETON
FAX LINE MAINTENANCE
DEPARTMENT.

105
00:04:36,876 --> 00:04:38,710
DON'T YOU MEAN
YOU'RE A PHONE GUY?

106
00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:41,446
HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS.

107
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:45,617
THE FAX MACHINE
WOULD BE HERE
IN MY OFFICE.

108
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:47,652
WHERE I AM.

109
00:04:47,654 --> 00:04:49,554
THANKS.

110
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:53,124
HOW DO I LOOK?

111
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,892
LOSE THE SWEATER.

112
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,167
THIS IS FOR YOU.

113
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:05,236
IT'S AN INVITATION
TO MY SURPRISE
BIRTHDAY PARTY.

114
00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:07,171
IF YOU'RE HANDING OUT
INVITATIONS,

115
00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:08,473
HOW CAN IT BE A SURPRISE?

116
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,908
MARY, IT WON'T BE

117
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:12,510
IF YOU KEEP WAVING
THE INVITATION AROUND.

118
00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:14,913
NOW, PUT THAT SOMEPLACE
WHERE I WON'T SEE IT.

119
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:15,913
NINA!

120
00:05:15,915 --> 00:05:18,250
OH, UH, NINA,
THIS IS FOR YOU.

121
00:05:18,252 --> 00:05:20,252
YOU MUST BE DR. SOLOMON.

122
00:05:20,254 --> 00:05:22,754
YES. WOULD YOU
LIKE TO COME
TO MY SURPRISE PARTY?

123
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:25,423
DON'T YOU HAVE SOMEWHERE
YOU HAVE TO BE?

124
00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:26,791
NO.

125
00:05:29,429 --> 00:05:30,762
MAMA!

126
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:32,263
I FOUND HIS DOOR.

127
00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:36,167
GOOD.

128
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,270
THAT MUST BE
HIS DESK.

129
00:05:38,272 --> 00:05:40,272
NED, GET MAMA
A CHAIR.

130
00:05:40,274 --> 00:05:42,207
OK, MAMA.

131
00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:43,775
MAY I HELP YOU?

132
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:45,376
NO, YOU CAN'T.

133
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:50,682
NED, HONEY,
GO BACK TO THE MOTEL
AND WAIT.

134
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:53,318
I'M GOING
TO THE MOTEL NOW.

135
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:54,986
THAT'S NICE.

136
00:05:56,323 --> 00:05:57,989
I'M GOING! I'M GOING!

137
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:00,492
WELL, MRS. EVERLY,
HELLO.

138
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,494
OH, PLEASE CALL ME
CHARLOTTE.

139
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:04,529
ALL RIGHT.
CHARLOTTE.

140
00:06:05,598 --> 00:06:07,866
DR. SOLOMON,
I HAVE A CONFESSION.

141
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,135
I'M NOT SOME HOUSEWIFE
AUDITING A CLASS.

142
00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:11,436
YOU'RE NOT?

143
00:06:11,438 --> 00:06:12,637
NO. I'M A REPORTER

144
00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:13,905
FROM THE<i> CLEVELAND</i>
<i> PLAIN DEALER,</i>

145
00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:15,306
AND I WANT TO DO
A STORY ON YOU.

146
00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:16,974
ON ME?

147
00:06:16,976 --> 00:06:19,143
YES, YOU SEE,
EVERY YEAR A DO A PIECE
ON GREATNESS.

148
00:06:19,145 --> 00:06:21,946
HA HA HA HA HA!

149
00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:25,116
SORRY.

150
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:27,619
I'VE DONE ALL SORTS
OF RESEARCH ON YOU,

151
00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:30,321
AND FRANKLY, I'M IMPRESSED.
WILL YOU GRANT ME
AN INTERVIEW?

152
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:33,825
ALL RIGHT.
BUT I MUST ASK YOU
TO LIMIT YOUR DISCUSSION

153
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,326
TO MY GREATNESS.

154
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:37,228
UH, NINA.

155
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,296
WHAT?!

156
00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:39,731
I'M GOING TO LUNCH NOW.

157
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:40,732
THEN GO.

158
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,233
COME ALONG, CHARLOTTE.

159
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,736
AS TO GREATNESS,
I FIND THAT
SOME ARE BORN GREAT,

160
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:46,237
SOME ACHIEVE GREATNESS,

161
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,939
AND SOME
THRUST THEIR GREATNESS
UPON OTHERS.

162
00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:54,545
OK, SO WE GOT
10 OF THOSE.

163
00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:57,448
JUST BRING THE CHAIRS BACK
WHEN YOUR PARTY'S OVER.

164
00:06:57,450 --> 00:06:59,017
WHAT?
THESE ARE NOT CHAIRS.

165
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:00,451
THEY'RE FOLDING CHAIRS.

166
00:07:00,453 --> 00:07:02,254
AAH!

167
00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:04,689
UH, I GOT A FOLDING TABLE
IF YOU NEED IT.

168
00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:07,058
A FOLDING TABLE!

169
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,894
GET OUTTA TOWN!

170
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,864
WELL, YOU COULD ALWAYS
USE IT FOR THE BAR.

171
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:14,299
BAR? WHY DO WE
NEED A BAR?

172
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:17,235
WELL, IT'S A PARTY,
YOU KNOW.
YOU GOTTA SERVE DRINKS,

173
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:18,603
LIQUOR, WHATNOT.

174
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:21,606
OK. BOOZE.
HOW MUCH DO WE GET?

175
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:25,109
I ALWAYS FIGURE
3/4 OF AN OUNCE OF LIQUOR

176
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,178
PER 10 POUNDS OF GUEST.

177
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:30,148
NOW, FOR A 200-POUND MAN,
YOU'RE GONNA NEED

178
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,550
ABOUT A HALF A QUART
OF VODKA.

179
00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:34,218
GREAT. NOW I GOTTA
CALL EVERYBODY

180
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:36,154
TO ASK THEM
HOW MUCH THEY WEIGH.

181
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:38,056
PUT ME DOWN
AT 300 POUNDS.

182
00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:42,060
WELL, I...

183
00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:44,829
I'M BIG-BONED.

184
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:49,868
BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY

185
00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:51,436
I KNOW A LOT.

186
00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:53,472
SOME OF IT
I DON'T DARE TEACH.

187
00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:54,873
IT'S A TERRIBLE DILEMMA.

188
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:56,374
MY STUDENTS ARE SLOW,

189
00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:58,877
AND I AM
INCREDIBLY SMART.

190
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:01,913
SHOULDN'T YOU BE
WRITING THIS DOWN?
IT'S REALLY GOOD.

191
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:06,351
I HAVE A CONFESSION
TO MAKE.

192
00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:07,852
I'M NOT A REPORTER.

193
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:09,020
YOU'RE NOT?

194
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,588
OH, PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

195
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:12,524
I'M JUST
ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE

196
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:15,092
WHO CRAVES BEING AROUND
PERSONAL EXCELLENCE.

197
00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:17,662
I GUESS YOU COULD SAY
I'M THE INTELLECTUAL
EQUIVALENT

198
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,064
OF A ROCK 'N' ROLL GROUPIE.

199
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,164
OHH...WELL,

200
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,132
THAT'S OK.

201
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:23,068
I'VE ALWAYS
THOUGHT OF MYSELF

202
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:25,737
AS THE INTELLECTUAL
EQUIVALENT OF
ROD STEWART.

203
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,440
SO HAVE I. EVER SINCE
I READ YOUR ESSAY

204
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:30,942
IN THE UNIVERSITY PAPER.

205
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:33,945
MY OPEN LETTER TO FORMER
TRANSPORTATION SECRETARY
FREDERICO PEÑA

206
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:36,447
ABOUT THE BENEFITS
OF TIME TRAVEL?

207
00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:38,650
THAT'S THE ONE.
AND I THOUGHT,

208
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:41,419
HOW DID THIS BRILLIANT MIND
SUDDENLY APPEAR
OUT OF NOWHERE

209
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:42,987
IN THE MIDDLE OF OHIO?

210
00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:45,256
THAT'S WHEN I KNEW
I HAD TO COME AND FIND YOU.

211
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,825
YOU KNOW SOMETHING,
CHARLOTTE?

212
00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:50,828
I'M HAVING A SURPRISE
BIRTHDAY PARTY
TOMORROW NIGHT.

213
00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:54,232
WHY DON'T YOU COME?
AND--AND BUY ME
SOMETHING NICE.

214
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:59,304
WELL, WHAT DO I GET
FOR THE MAN
WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING?

215
00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:01,406
CASHMERE UNDERPANTS.

216
00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:08,413
YOU SEE, WHAT I WOULD DO
IS CUT UP SOME VEGETABLES

217
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:11,716
AND THEN HOLLOW OUT
A PRETTY RED CABBAGE
AND PUT YOUR DIP IN IT.

218
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:12,984
IT'S GENIUS!

219
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:15,520
OH, CHARLOTTE,
THANK GOD YOU STOPPED BY.

220
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:17,255
WHERE DID DICK
FIND YOU?

221
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,257
HEY. WHAT'S NED DOING?

222
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,993
HEH HEH.

223
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:24,996
HE PROBABLY JUST SMELLS
PEANUT BUTTER.

224
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:27,498
YEAH, YEAH.
I'M THE SAME WAY.

225
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:30,001
CHARLOTTE.
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

226
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:31,169
ONLY SAVING OUR BUTTS.

227
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:33,070
YEAH. MRS. DUBCEK,
SHE WAS OUR PARTY
EXPERT,

228
00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:34,772
BUT SHE'S GONE AND
DISAPPEARED ON US.

229
00:09:34,774 --> 00:09:37,007
BUT GOD SENT US DOWN
THIS ANGEL.

230
00:09:37,009 --> 00:09:38,576
OH, HUSH, NOW.

231
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,713
I'M JUST DOING MY PART
TO CELEBRATE
A GREAT MAN'S BIRTHDAY.

232
00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:45,883
JUST WHEN I THINK
YOU'RE TOO GOOD
TO BE TRUE, YOU ARE.

233
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:48,219
MAMA.

234
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:50,321
THEY DON'T HAVE A SOFA.

235
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:56,427
WELL, ANYWAY,
SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING
ABOUT ORGANIZING A PARTY.

236
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:59,364
OH, YEAH. TELL HIM
ABOUT THAT SOUP MIX
WITH THE SOUR CREAM.

237
00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:01,599
OH, NOW, IT'S ON
THE BACK OF THE PACKET.

238
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,702
THEY PUT YOUR RECIPE
ON THE BACK
OF THE PACKET?

239
00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:05,169
SHE'S BEEN PUBLISHED!

240
00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:07,038
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE ALL

241
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,973
PUTTING MY
NUMBER-ONE FAN
TO WORK.

242
00:10:08,975 --> 00:10:11,476
OH...PISH TOSH.

243
00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:15,113
I HAVE A CONFESSION.

244
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:20,251
BEFORE I CAME HERE,
I WAS SOCIAL DIRECTOR
FOR CARNIVAL CRUISE LINES,

245
00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:25,189
AND...IF ONLY I HAD A LIST
SO I'D KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE
WERE COMING.

246
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:30,028
WE HAVE SUCH A LIST.

247
00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:31,696
A GUEST LIST.

248
00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:34,499
HARRY, GO GET IT!
IT'S IN THE OTHER ROOM!

249
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:44,876
YOU KNOW,
I DON'T GET TO SAY THIS

250
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:46,344
TO A LOT OF PEOPLE,
BUT...

251
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:48,980
I'M SMARTER THAN YOU.

252
00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:56,454
HELLO, BUG?

253
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:58,489
YES, UH,
I'M CALLING TO TELL YOU

254
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,391
THAT DR. SOLOMON'S PARTY
HAS BEEN CANCELED.

255
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:04,896
HE HAS A TERRIBLE CASE
OF DIARRHEA AND HE WANTS
EVERYONE TO KNOW.

256
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:06,998
YES. BYE-BYE.

257
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,499
HAVE YOU GOT EVERYTHING?

258
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,600
YES, MAMA.

259
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:10,601
GOOD BOY.

260
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,103
[THUMPING]

261
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,371
HEY, YOU!

262
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:15,373
CHARLOTTE:
TITTY TITTY BANG BANG.

263
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,177
ONE MORE NOISE
OUT OF YOU

264
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:22,613
AND NED HERE
WILL POP YOUR NECK
LIKE A PENCIL.

265
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:24,816
I GOT MY EYE ON YOU.

266
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,187
OOH.

267
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,888
I GOT YOU SOMETHING.

268
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:32,356
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

269
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:35,293
DON'T YOU WANT TO
GIVE THAT TO ME LATER,

270
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:37,395
SHOULD SOME SORT OF...
PARTY ARISE?

271
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:40,064
I GOT A MESSAGE
THE PARTY WAS CANCELED.

272
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:41,231
RIGHT.

273
00:11:41,233 --> 00:11:42,333
VERY GOOD.

274
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:44,268
I GOT THAT MESSAGE, TOO.

275
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:48,339
MM. SO I GUESS
I WON'T BE SEEING
EITHER OF YOU

276
00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:49,874
AROUND, UH, 7:00-ISH?

277
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,309
THAT'S RIGHT.

278
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:52,877
GOOD. GOOD.

279
00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:54,512
OH, OH, AND BY THE WAY,

280
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:56,413
DON'T FORGET TO PARK
WHERE I CAN'T SEE
YOUR CAR.

281
00:11:56,415 --> 00:11:57,748
NOT A PROBLEM.

282
00:11:57,750 --> 00:12:01,852
YEP. I'LL NEVER
SEE IT COMING.

283
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:09,094
WELL, WELL, HERE I AM.

284
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,663
HOME AT LAST.

285
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:15,433
HELLO!

286
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:19,070
ANYBODY HO-O-OME?!

287
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,438
I GUESS I'M HERE

288
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:38,990
ALL ALO-ONE!

289
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:43,728
[DRILL BUZZES]

290
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:45,029
MAMA.

291
00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:46,397
HE'S COMIN' AROUND.

292
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:47,899
UH--UH, CHARLOTTE,

293
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:49,266
UH, WH-WH-WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?

294
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,302
WELL, FIRST WE'RE GONNA
CUT YOUR HEAD OPEN.

295
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:52,937
WHAT? WHY?!

296
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:53,871
OH, I DON'T KNOW.

297
00:12:53,873 --> 00:12:55,439
COULD IT POSSIBLY BE
BECAUSE

298
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:56,374
YOU'RE AN ALIEN?!

299
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:57,441
ALIEN?

300
00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,510
[HIGH-PITCHED
NERVOUS LAUGH]
HA HA HA HA!

301
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:00,945
THAT'S FUNNY.

302
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:03,414
YOU'RE A VERY FUNNY
WOMAN. HA HA HA...

303
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:04,916
YOU THINK I'M STUPID?

304
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:07,218
I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU
FOR OVER A YEAR NOW,

305
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,786
AND ALL SIGNS
POINT TO ALIEN.

306
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,722
W-WELL,
DON'T SOME SIGNS

307
00:13:10,724 --> 00:13:14,192
POINT TO ECCENTRIC
OR DUTCH OR SOMETHING?

308
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:18,229
THERE ARE POWERFUL
ELECTROMAGNETIC SIGNALS
COMING FROM THIS HOUSE.

309
00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:21,599
OH, WE'VE BEEN
MICROWAVING
WITH THE DOOR OPEN.

310
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:24,769
THERE'S A TRANSMITTER
HERE SOMEWHERE.

311
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:26,337
AND WE CAN'T FIND IT.

312
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:28,573
I HAVE A THEORY
IT'S INSTALLED

313
00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:29,641
INSIDE OF YOU.

314
00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:30,642
[DRILL BUZZES]

315
00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:33,211
HELP! HELP!
HELP! HELP! HE--

316
00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:34,145
DON: HELLO?

317
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,214
HELLO! IS ANYBODY HOME?

318
00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:38,449
DAMN! GO SEE WHO THAT IS.

319
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:43,153
HI.

320
00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:44,722
WHO ARE YOU?

321
00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:47,158
UH...

322
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,927
MAMA, THERE'S
A POLICEMAN OUT HERE.

323
00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:51,796
HELLO, OFFICER.

324
00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:54,198
HI. UH, YOU TWO
HERE FOR THE PARTY?

325
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,700
OH, DIDN'T YOU
GET A CALL?

326
00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:57,168
NO. WHEN'S IT START?

327
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,670
YOU KNOW,
I'M ON DUTY.

328
00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:02,773
I'M ONLY GONNA HAVE TIME
FOR, LIKE 2 OR 3 DRINKS.

329
00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:04,342
WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

330
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,810
WELL, IT'S A SURPRISE PARTY,

331
00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:08,179
SO EVERYBODY'S HIDING
DOWN IN THE BASEMENT.

332
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,347
OH. HA HA HA!

333
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,415
HA HA HA HA.

334
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:11,449
HA HA.

335
00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:16,454
YOU'RE WHO AGAIN?

336
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:17,521
OH.

337
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:18,522
CATERING.

338
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:19,523
[SNAPS RUBBER GLOVE]

339
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,058
AH! HA HA HA...

340
00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:22,526
COME ON, LET'S GO!

341
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:23,962
OH, OK.

342
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:24,962
AFTER YOU.

343
00:14:24,964 --> 00:14:27,331
NO, AFTER YOU.

344
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,767
YAAAHH!

345
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:36,374
WOW. I HAVEN'T BEEN
DRUGGED AND TIED
UP LIKE THIS

346
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,775
SINCE VALENTINE'S DAY.

347
00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:41,412
OHH!

348
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:42,513
IT'S DON!
HE'S CAPTURED THEM

349
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:43,814
AND COME TO RESCUE US.

350
00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:48,753
OH...

351
00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:52,056
WHY DOES HE
HAVE TO BE SO TIRED?

352
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:54,591
TOMMY: ALL RIGHT,
THAT IS IT!

353
00:14:54,593 --> 00:14:55,793
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

354
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:57,195
LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW.

355
00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:58,696
I JUST WISH I KNEW

356
00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:00,764
WHICH ONE OF YOU
HAS THE TRANSMITTER.

357
00:15:00,766 --> 00:15:03,367
THAT'S THE HEAD
I REALLY WANT TO CUT OPEN.

358
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:06,471
♪ LA LA LA... ♪

359
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:32,430
[TELEPHONE RINGS]

360
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,831
I'LL GET IT.

361
00:15:35,701 --> 00:15:36,968
MARY ALBRIGHT'S OFFICE.

362
00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:39,837
MMMPH! MMPHMMPHH!

363
00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:40,838
OH, YEAH.

364
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,607
OH, BABY.
MMMPHHGGHH!

365
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,708
MMPHHHGH!
I'M HOT NOW.

366
00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:46,477
DO ME.
MMMPHH!

367
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:48,145
MMMPHHH!
DO ME ALL NIGHT.

368
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:49,713
AAHMMPHHH!

369
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:53,917
I KNOW IT'S YOU, DICK.

370
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:57,221
[MUFFLED] DAMN!

371
00:15:57,223 --> 00:15:59,156
THAT WAS DICK?

372
00:15:59,158 --> 00:16:02,626
YES, WITH HIS TYPICAL
SICK, PATHETIC
CRY FOR ATTENTION.

373
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:05,562
OH, GOD,
IT IS HIS BIRTHDAY,

374
00:16:05,564 --> 00:16:07,565
AND HIS PARTY
WAS CANCELED.

375
00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:11,068
I THINK I'M JUST GONNA BRING
HIS PRESENT ON OVER THERE.

376
00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:12,503
I'LL GO WITH YOU.

377
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:15,005
I WANT TO SEE
THE LOOK ON HIS FACE

378
00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:16,406
WHEN I TELL HIM
I DIDN'T GET HIM
ANYTHING.

379
00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:22,446
DIALING THE PHONE
WITH YOUR NOSE.

380
00:16:22,448 --> 00:16:24,615
A CLASSIC ALIEN MANEUVER.

381
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:29,220
ONCE I'M DONE WITH YOU,
EVERYONE WILL KNOW THE TRUTH.

382
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:30,654
GO ON, ADMIT IT.
YOU'RE ALIENS!

383
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:31,822
NO!

384
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,757
OH, WELL, MAYBE
I'M JUST WASTING MY TIME

385
00:16:33,759 --> 00:16:34,992
WITH YOU, THEN.

386
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,228
MAYBE I'LL JUST
GO DOWN THERE
TO THE BASEMENT

387
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:38,662
AND CRACK OPEN
THAT BIG BLONDE'S HEAD.

388
00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:41,399
UH--NO! NO! NO! WAIT!

389
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:44,868
ALL RIGHT,
I ADMIT IT.
I'M AN ALIEN.

390
00:16:44,870 --> 00:16:46,337
I KNEW IT.

391
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,771
BUT I'M THE ONLY ONE.

392
00:16:47,773 --> 00:16:49,773
THE OTHER THREE
ARE INNOCENT BYSTANDERS.

393
00:16:49,775 --> 00:16:51,775
DO WHAT YOU WILL
WITH ME!

394
00:16:51,777 --> 00:16:55,279
WHICH I HOPE
IS A SEVERE SCOLDING.

395
00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:56,747
BUT SPARE THEM!

396
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:57,781
I DON'T THINK SO.

397
00:16:57,783 --> 00:16:59,783
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

398
00:16:59,785 --> 00:17:01,785
WE COME IN PEACE!
WE MEAN YOU NO HARM.

399
00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:03,354
NO HARM?

400
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,789
I'M WELL AWARE
OF WHAT YOUR KIND DOES.

401
00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:07,791
HARVESTING EGGS
FOR YOUR SLAVE RACE,

402
00:17:07,793 --> 00:17:09,793
SUCKING THE LIFE
FROM THE INNOCENT,

403
00:17:09,795 --> 00:17:12,896
PROBING THE BUTT
OF THE POOR AMERICAN
FARMER!

404
00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:15,700
WE NEVER DO ANY OF THAT.

405
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:20,237
WELL, THERE WAS
THIS ONE FARMER
NEAR AKRON.

406
00:17:20,239 --> 00:17:21,305
YOU KNOW...

407
00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:24,175
BUT HE WAS ASKING FOR IT!

408
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:25,643
I'VE HEARD ENOUGH!
CORK HIM!

409
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:27,979
NO! NO! PLEASE!
LET ME--AAH--

410
00:17:27,981 --> 00:17:29,213
DR. SOLOMON?

411
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,681
DR. SOLOMON?

412
00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:31,748
EXCUSE ME.

413
00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:33,317
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

414
00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:36,320
I CALLED YOU AND TOLD YOU
THERE WAS NO PARTY.

415
00:17:36,322 --> 00:17:37,421
YEAH, I KNOW.

416
00:17:37,423 --> 00:17:38,922
BUT SOMETIMES DR. SOLOMON

417
00:17:38,924 --> 00:17:40,924
WILL DO THINGS
TO TRICK ME,

418
00:17:40,926 --> 00:17:42,426
AND THEN HE YELLS AT ME.

419
00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:43,795
UH, YOU KNOW,

420
00:17:43,797 --> 00:17:45,997
ALL THE OTHER GUESTS
ARE HIDING IN THE BASEMENT,

421
00:17:45,999 --> 00:17:47,431
SO COME ON, LET'S GO.

422
00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:49,533
I KNEW
THERE WAS A PARTY. OH.

423
00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:51,001
OH, NO, NO.
AFTER YOU.

424
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:53,838
MARY: HELLO!

425
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,340
I THOUGHT WE WERE
GOING DOWNSTAIRS.

426
00:17:56,342 --> 00:17:57,408
NOT JUST YET.

427
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,710
OH, I LEFT MY GIFT
IN THE CAR.

428
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:00,777
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

429
00:18:00,779 --> 00:18:01,946
SHOULDN'T WE BE
GETTING TO THE BASEMENT?

430
00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:03,948
UH...
BEFORE WE GO DOWN,

431
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:05,115
HOW ABOUT A NICE
GLASS OF WINE?

432
00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:06,684
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT.

433
00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:09,353
HONEY, GET THAT
SPECIAL BOTTLE
OUT OF MY BAG.

434
00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:11,522
COME ON, EVERYBODY,
INTO THE KITCHEN.

435
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:13,024
LET'S MOVE IT!
GRAB YOUR GLASS!

436
00:18:13,026 --> 00:18:14,091
I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY.

437
00:18:15,161 --> 00:18:16,694
I THINK
YOU'LL LIKE THIS.

438
00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:18,228
IT'S
A VERY GOOD YEAR.

439
00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:20,164
I'M AFRAID
I DON'T LIKE RED WINE.

440
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:21,666
I<i> LOVE</i> IT.

441
00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:24,702
HA HA HA HA HA HA!

442
00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:26,570
POUR HERS FIRST.

443
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:30,507
DON'T WE NEED
A TOAST?

444
00:18:30,509 --> 00:18:31,675
ALL RIGHT.

445
00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:33,410
HERE'S A TOAST
TO HAPPY BIRTHDAYS.

446
00:18:33,412 --> 00:18:35,946
HAPPY BIRTHDAYS!
HAPPY BIRTHDAYS!

447
00:18:39,218 --> 00:18:40,350
HMM.

448
00:18:40,352 --> 00:18:42,219
WHAT'S THAT AFTERTASTE?

449
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,891
MARY: HELLO! I'M BACK!

450
00:18:47,893 --> 00:18:49,793
OH, CRAP!

451
00:18:51,197 --> 00:18:52,997
DID EVERYONE
GO DOWNSTAIRS?

452
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:56,000
OH, THEY WENT DOWN,
ALL RIGHT.

453
00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:57,667
SHUT UP, HONEY.

454
00:18:57,669 --> 00:18:59,203
WHERE'S
THE BIRTHDAY BOY?

455
00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:00,470
OH, HE'S LATE.

456
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:01,671
OF COURSE.

457
00:19:01,673 --> 00:19:04,307
HOW ABOUT A GLASS OF WINE
WHILE YOU'RE WAITING?

458
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:08,679
IT'S SO NICE OF YOU
TO HELP OUT, CHARLOTTE.

459
00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:10,214
MM.

460
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:12,483
DICK'S LATE.

461
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:13,684
THAT'S TYPICAL.

462
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:19,457
HE PLANS HIS OWN
SURPRISE PARTY,

463
00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:21,425
AND THEN
IT'S CALLED OFF,

464
00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:22,826
AND THEN
IT'S BACK ON.

465
00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:30,668
I GUESS WE DON'T KNOW
WHETHER IT'S ON OR OFF!

466
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:34,438
MMM. THIS IS SCREW-TOP.
THIS IS GOOD.

467
00:19:40,546 --> 00:19:43,547
IF DICK'S NOT HERE
IN 15 MINUTES,
I AM LEAVING.

468
00:19:43,549 --> 00:19:45,749
WHEN A MAN DOESN'T HAVE
THE COMMON COURTESY TO--

469
00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:46,984
OOH!

470
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:50,387
IT'S OFFICIAL.

471
00:19:50,389 --> 00:19:53,390
THIS IS THE WORST PARTY
I'VE EVER BEEN TO.

472
00:19:54,393 --> 00:19:55,493
SALLY!

473
00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:57,995
STAND WITH ME
IF YOU CAN.

474
00:19:57,997 --> 00:19:59,463
UHH! UHH!

475
00:19:59,465 --> 00:20:01,965
I HAVE A--A JACKKNIFE
IN MY POCKET.

476
00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:04,302
IF YOU CAN REACH IT,
WE CAN CUT THROUGH
THESE ROPES.

477
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:05,303
ALL RIGHT.

478
00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:06,771
HARRY, LEAN TO YOUR LEFT.

479
00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:07,772
OK.

480
00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:09,339
SALLY, TURN RIGHT.
TURN RIGHT.

481
00:20:09,341 --> 00:20:10,875
ALL RIGHT. AND IT'S--

482
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:13,077
CAN YOU FEEL IT?
IT'S RIGHT WHERE
YOUR HAND IS.

483
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:14,579
I CAN'T REACH IT.

484
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:16,513
KEEP TRYING.
YOU'RE ALMOST THERE.

485
00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:17,648
ALL RIGHT. YEAH.

486
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:19,550
YEAH. OH. OH.

487
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,485
OK, CAREFUL, SALLY,
THAT'S NOT...

488
00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:22,486
UH...

489
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:23,487
OH...

490
00:20:23,489 --> 00:20:24,488
OHH...

491
00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:26,156
OOH, BOY.

492
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:27,758
I GOT IT.

493
00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:34,632
WELL, DON'T JUST
STAND THERE.
CUT US OUT.

494
00:20:36,602 --> 00:20:38,068
YOU KNOW,

495
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:41,004
I'VE NEVER BEEN
IN A HOSTAGE SITUATION
BEFORE,

496
00:20:41,006 --> 00:20:44,574
BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD BE
ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.

497
00:20:47,613 --> 00:20:48,612
[BUZZING]

498
00:20:48,614 --> 00:20:51,415
OH, MY GOD, DICK!

499
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:52,582
OH, GOD!
OH, MY GOD!

500
00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:54,451
STAND BACK
OR THE SPACEMAN GETS IT!

501
00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:56,454
FREEZE, EVERYBODY!
OH, MY GOD!

502
00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:57,521
FBI! FREEZE!

503
00:20:57,523 --> 00:20:58,522
NED: MAMA.

504
00:20:58,524 --> 00:20:59,823
PUT THOSE TWO
IN CUFFS.

505
00:20:59,825 --> 00:21:01,124
SOMEBODY UNTIE THAT MAN.

506
00:21:01,126 --> 00:21:03,493
CHARLOTTE:
NO! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

507
00:21:03,495 --> 00:21:05,062
HE'S ONE OF THEM!

508
00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:07,397
LET ME OPEN HIM UP.
YOU'LL SEE HE'S AN ALIEN.

509
00:21:07,399 --> 00:21:09,399
YEAH, RIGHT, CHARLOTTE.
SO WERE THE OTHER 8
YOU CUT UP.

510
00:21:09,401 --> 00:21:11,735
OK, FINE.
BUT THIS ONE IS.

511
00:21:11,737 --> 00:21:13,003
HE ADMITTED IT.

512
00:21:13,005 --> 00:21:15,072
I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.

513
00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:16,407
YOU CAN'T HIDE!

514
00:21:16,409 --> 00:21:17,407
ALIENS!

515
00:21:17,409 --> 00:21:20,176
ALIENS!

516
00:21:23,216 --> 00:21:25,148
ALIENS, HUH?

517
00:21:25,150 --> 00:21:26,316
[ALL LAUGHING]

518
00:21:26,318 --> 00:21:28,352
YEAH.

519
00:21:28,354 --> 00:21:30,487
THAT'S THE DUMBEST THING
I EVER HEARD!

520
00:21:32,891 --> 00:21:35,526
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
CARSEY-WERNER PRODUCTIONS AND
THE NATIONAL BROADCASTING
COMPANY

521
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:41,031
YOU KNOW,
I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE
YOU FEDERAL BOYS

522
00:21:41,033 --> 00:21:44,535
LEFT A CRUCIAL
PIECE OF EVIDENCE
AT THE CRIME SCENE.

523
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:45,569
THE GNOME.

524
00:21:45,571 --> 00:21:47,004
THE GNOME?

525
00:21:47,006 --> 00:21:48,806
YEAH. THE BLUNT INSTRUMENT.

526
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,608
AND LOCAL BOY DONNIE
PICKED IT UP FOR YOU.

527
00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:53,143
YEP. JUST COVERING
YOUR ASS.

528
00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:56,413
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY
THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING
INSTITUTE, INC.

529
00:21:56,415 --> 00:21:58,515
SHALL WE STEAL
THE CAR, MAMA?

530
00:21:58,517 --> 00:21:59,516
NO, HONEY.

531
00:21:59,518 --> 00:22:01,752
THAT WOULD BE WRONG.

532
00:22:01,754 --> 00:22:06,557
PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS
PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF
NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE