1 00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:38,203 WHY DO THESE PEOPLE INSIST ON PUTTING 2 00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:40,038 THEIR BIOGRAPHIES IN THE PAPER? 3 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,506 LIKE THEY'RE SO GREAT. 4 00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:44,109 "BELOVED" THIS AND "DEVOTED" THAT. 5 00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:48,414 DR. SOLOMON, THOSE ARE THE OBITUARIES. 6 00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:51,449 WELL, I WANT ONE ABOUT ME. 7 00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:54,153 HOPEFULLY SOON. 8 00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:56,455 DICK. OH, GOOD, YOU'RE HERE. 9 00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:58,424 UM, I WANT YOU TO MEET JEFFREY MALONE. 10 00:00:58,426 --> 00:01:00,559 HE'S FROM THE FLEISCHMAN FOUNDATION. 11 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,227 JEFFREY, THIS IS DICK SOLOMON. 12 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,229 OH, SO THIS IS THE GUY. 13 00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:05,397 YEAH, THIS IS THE GUY. 14 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,866 AND THIS GUY AND I HAVE TO HAVE A LITTLE TALK. 15 00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:09,067 WHAT IS IT, MARY? 16 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:12,070 REMEMBER THAT ARTICLE I WROTE LAST YEAR-- 17 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,238 "WHERE'S MOMMY?"-- 18 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,307 DISSECTING THE POST-NUCLEAR AMERICAN FAMILY? 19 00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,709 OH, YES. ABOUT THAT TYRANNICAL BLOWHARD 20 00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:20,712 AND HIS RIDICULOUS RELATIVES. 21 00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:24,817 UH-HUH. HONEY... THAT WAS ABOUT YOU. 22 00:01:24,819 --> 00:01:27,685 YOU MEAN I'M DIRK SULLIVAN? 23 00:01:27,687 --> 00:01:30,522 YES. I'VE BEEN OBSERVING YOUR FAMILY 24 00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:31,723 FOR THE PAST 4 YEARS. 25 00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:32,924 YOU'VE WHAT?! 26 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,192 AND THE FLEISCHMAN FOUNDATION 27 00:01:34,194 --> 00:01:36,294 HAS GIVEN ME A GRANT TO MAKE A DOCUMENTARY 28 00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:38,430 ON THE TYPICAL AMERICAN FAMILY. 29 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:39,598 YOUR FAMILY. 30 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:40,832 FINALLY-- 31 00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:43,435 THE RECOGNITION I DESERVE! 32 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,270 WE'LL BE GLORIFIED 33 00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:47,639 AS THE IDEAL AMERICAN FAMILY. 34 00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:50,141 NOT IDEAL SO MUCH AS... TYPICAL. 35 00:01:50,143 --> 00:01:52,444 NINA. SCRATCH THE OBITUARY. 36 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,146 I DON'T WANT TO GET OVEREXPOSED. 37 00:01:57,317 --> 00:02:00,752 DR. ALBRIGHT IS, UH... SHE'S RIGHT IN THERE. 38 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:06,091 DICK, ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS MOVIE THING? 39 00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:07,092 WELL, OF COURSE. 40 00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:09,962 THEY TOTALLY BUY US AS A HUMAN FAMILY. 41 00:02:09,964 --> 00:02:11,129 THIS IS INCREDIBLE VALIDATION 42 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,264 OF OUR MISSION. 43 00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:13,631 LOOK, IT'S BAD ENOUGH 44 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:17,002 THAT ALBRIGHT'S BEEN STUDYING US FOR 4 YEARS. 45 00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:19,304 NOW SHE WANTS TO FILM US? I DON'T LIKE IT. 46 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:20,305 WHY NOT? 47 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:23,041 WE COULD BE EXPOSED AS ALIENS. 48 00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:25,910 MAYBE A FEW YEARS AGO WHEN WE WERE COMPLETE WEIRDOS, 49 00:02:25,912 --> 00:02:28,046 BUT LOOK AT US NOW, LIEUTENANT. 50 00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:32,117 WE ARE AN IDEAL FAMILY. WE'RE PERFECT FOR THIS. 51 00:02:32,119 --> 00:02:34,520 AND WHAT'S MORE, WE GET A PROFESSIONALLY PRODUCED 52 00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:35,987 RECORD OF OUR MISSION OUT OF IT. 53 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,422 YEAH, LIKE A WEDDING VIDEO. 54 00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:39,925 THAT'S TRUE, I MEAN, WE SCREWED UP 55 00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:42,193 EVERY STATUS REPORT WE EVER TRIED TO FILE. 56 00:02:42,195 --> 00:02:43,528 WHY NOT LET ALBRIGHT DO IT? 57 00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:45,397 BECAUSE IT'S TOO GREAT A RISK. 58 00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:46,597 OH, COME ON. 59 00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:48,800 EVERY EARTH FAMILY WANTS TO BE IMMORTALIZED ON FILM. 60 00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:49,801 YEAH, WE'D BE SUSPICIOUS 61 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,069 IF WE DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT. 62 00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:52,504 IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT, LIEUTENANT? 63 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:55,040 I DIDN'T REALIZE WE WERE ON A SUICIDE MISSION. 64 00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:56,741 WHY DON'T WE ALL WEAR T-SHIRTS 65 00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:58,676 THAT SAY, "DON'T FILM US, WE'RE ALIENS." 66 00:02:58,678 --> 00:02:59,677 YEAH. 67 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:00,678 WEE-OOH, WEE-OOH. 68 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,013 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 69 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,115 I GET YOUR POINT. 70 00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:04,249 OK, EVERYBODY, 71 00:03:04,251 --> 00:03:06,618 I THINK WE'RE ABOUT READY TO START. 72 00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:09,954 NOW, REMEMBER, WE ARE NOT HERE. 73 00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:14,459 UH...WELL, WHERE-- WHERE ARE YOU? 74 00:03:14,461 --> 00:03:18,162 WE ARE HERE... BUT WE'RE NOT. 75 00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:20,465 SO JUST BE YOURSELVES. THAT'S WHAT WE NEED. 76 00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:22,266 JUST PRETEND THESE CAMERAS ARE NOT HERE. 77 00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:24,736 JUST ACT PERFECTLY NATURALLY. 78 00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:27,138 OK. BUT IT'S NOT NATURAL TO ACT 79 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,806 LIKE THERE AREN'T CAMERAS HERE 80 00:03:28,808 --> 00:03:30,442 WHEN THERE ARE CAMERAS HERE. 81 00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:32,878 THAT'S TRUE. 82 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,212 UH-- I'VE GOT AN IDEA. 83 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,147 WHY DON'T WE NOTICE THE CAMERAS 84 00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,183 AND THEN ACT SURPRISED? 85 00:03:38,185 --> 00:03:39,484 Mary: NO, NO, NO, NO! 86 00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:42,254 THAT'S NOT GOING TO WORK. 87 00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:43,821 OK. START. 88 00:03:46,826 --> 00:03:47,959 WHAT'S WRONG? 89 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,694 AREN'T YOU GOING TO SAY "ACTION"? 90 00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:52,196 SALLY, THIS IS A DOCUMENTARY. 91 00:03:52,198 --> 00:03:53,965 YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY "ACTION." 92 00:03:57,171 --> 00:03:58,136 ACTION! 93 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,055 JUST 30 YEARS AGO, 94 00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:21,592 THE TRADITIONAL 2-PARENT NUCLEAR FAMILY WAS THE NORM. 95 00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:27,265 BUT IN OUR INCREASINGLY FRAGMENTED 500-CHANNEL WORLD, 96 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,433 ALL THAT HAS CHANGED. 97 00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:31,770 TO QUOTE MYSELF IN AN ARTICLE I WROTE 98 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,437 THAT INSPIRED THIS FILM, 99 00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:35,439 WHERE HAS THAT NORM GONE, 100 00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,842 AND WILL WE EVER GET IT BACK? 101 00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:40,078 HOW DO I LOOK? DO I LOOK FAT? 102 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,314 NOT...FAT. 103 00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:44,983 WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 104 00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:45,984 SHH! 105 00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:48,687 Dick: WE'RE JUST AN AVERAGE FAMILY. 106 00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:50,422 I SUPPOSE, TO THE OUTSIDER, 107 00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:52,390 WE MIGHT SEEM A LITTLE UNORTHODOX, 108 00:04:52,392 --> 00:04:56,328 BUT WHAT DOES THIS "OUTSIDER" KNOW ANYWAY? 109 00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:58,796 WHO IS HE TO JUDGE US? 110 00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,232 SCREW HIM. 111 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,368 UH, WELL, THIS IS MY ROOM. 112 00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:04,969 UH, LET'S SEE. 113 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,139 AT NIGHT SOMETIMES, THE MOON CUTS THROUGH 114 00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:08,706 THE MULLERS' TREE OVER THERE 115 00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:11,876 AND MAKES SOME REAL WEIRD SHADOWS IN HERE. 116 00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:13,478 SOMETIMES WHEN IT'S WINDY, 117 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:17,449 YOU CAN HEAR SCRATCHY NOISES OUT AT THE WINDOW, UM... 118 00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:19,717 DICK AND SALLY SAY THAT IT'S JUST BRANCHES, 119 00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:21,786 BUT...MAN, 120 00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:26,291 SOMETIMES IT SOUNDS LIKE A DEAD GUY'S FINGERS. 121 00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:28,693 UM, ME AND DON-- 122 00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:30,628 OH, THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND. 123 00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:33,999 DON. THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND. 124 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:36,334 UM, WE'VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT TOGETHER. 125 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,335 UH... 126 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,171 I LOST MY VIRGINITY. 127 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:40,338 THAT WAS BIG. 128 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:44,109 UM, THEN I MOVED OUT ON MY OWN. 129 00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:46,778 AND THEN I MOVED BACK IN. 130 00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:49,681 SO BASICALLY, I'M A NONVIRGIN 131 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,851 WHO'S MOVED TWICE. 132 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,253 THAT'S NOT BAD. 133 00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:56,687 YEAH. 134 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:58,356 THERE WAS A TIME IN MY LIFE 135 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,491 WHEN I CONSIDERED BEING THE CEO 136 00:06:00,493 --> 00:06:02,861 OF A FORTUNE 500 COMPANY. 137 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,362 BUT IN A SITUATION LIKE THAT, 138 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:07,098 YOU REALLY HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF, 139 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,734 "HAVE I BEEN OFFERED THIS JOB?" 140 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:14,238 Mary: THE DINNER HOUR AT THE SOLOMON'S HOUSE. 141 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:17,675 A TIME FOR EATING AND A TIME FOR REVELATIONS. 142 00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:20,478 "THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR HARD WORK." 143 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,046 OH. HOW TRUE IS THAT. 144 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,515 HARRY, WHAT DOES YOURS SAY? 145 00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:25,316 OH. UM... 146 00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:30,388 "YOUR LIFE IS LIKE A KITE...SOMEHOW." 147 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:31,990 HARRY, DID YOU EAT YOURS AGAIN? 148 00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:33,358 YEAH. I'M SORRY. 149 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:34,926 HEY, YOU GUYS, CHECK MINE OUT. 150 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,729 AHEM. "YOU ARE A GIFTED LEADER 151 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,731 WHO WILL INSPIRE MANY." 152 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,066 SALLY, I THINK THAT ONE WAS MEANT FOR ME. 153 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,268 THIS MUST BE YOURS. 154 00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:45,904 "A SMILE OPENS MANY DOORS," NO. 155 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,639 I THINK I'LL STICK WITH THE ONE I GOT, THANKS. 156 00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:48,907 COME ON, SALLY, IT'S CLEARLY A MIX-UP. 157 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:49,908 HAND IT OVER. 158 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:50,975 YOU'RE NOT GETTING MY FORTUNE, DICK. 159 00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:52,143 YOU ARE PLAYING WITH FATE. 160 00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:53,412 NOW GIVE ME BACK MY DAMN FORTUNE, 161 00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:55,080 LIEUTENANT! 162 00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:56,314 DICK? 163 00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:58,182 WHAT? 164 00:06:58,184 --> 00:07:01,619 LIEUTENANT. THAT'S, UH... 165 00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:02,620 IT'S A NICKNAME. 166 00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:04,255 OUR DAD USED TO CALL ME THAT. 167 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,324 RIGHT. 'CAUSE HE WAS IN THE NAVY. 168 00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:09,360 YEAH. THAT'S WHY WE MOVED AROUND SO MUCH. 169 00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:12,797 Mary: DICK, YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT THAT. 170 00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:15,834 WELL, IT WAS TOP SECRET. 171 00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,902 WE ACTUALLY, UH, LIVED 172 00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:20,972 IN A SUBMARINE FOR 2 YEARS. 173 00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:23,841 YEAH. A YELLOW ONE. 174 00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:26,210 DAD'S A GREAT GUY. 175 00:07:26,212 --> 00:07:28,179 YOU'LL REALLY LIKE HIM. 176 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:31,783 Mary: DICK, YOU ALWAYS SAID YOUR FATHER WAS DEAD. 177 00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:36,187 SHE MEANT, YOU'LL LIKE HIS CORPSE. 178 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:39,124 FAMILY MEETING. 179 00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:41,860 "WE LIVED ON A SUBMARINE." 180 00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,128 WHAT WAS THAT? 181 00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,829 WELL, IF YOU HADN'T CALLED HER LIEUTENANT-- 182 00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:47,132 HI. 183 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,466 EXCUSE US. 184 00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:54,472 Sally: I TOLD YOU THIS WAS A BAD IDEA. 185 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,640 Dick: CALM DOWN. 186 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,142 I THINK WE'RE STILL COMING OFF QUITE NICELY, 187 00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,309 ME ESPECIALLY. 188 00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,811 YEAH. YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD. 189 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:00,812 WELL, I AM SO GLAD 190 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:01,880 YOU'RE PLEASED WITH YOURSELF, 191 00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:02,881 BUT I, FOR ONE, 192 00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:04,582 DO NOT WANT TO BE EXPOSED. 193 00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:06,551 Mary: EXPOSED AS WHAT? 194 00:08:08,354 --> 00:08:10,855 EXPOSED? SALLY DIDN'T SAY "EXPOSED." 195 00:08:10,857 --> 00:08:13,158 Mary: WE HAVE IT ON FILM, DICK. 196 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,326 WELL, IT--IT'S JUST THAT, UH, 197 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:19,197 SALLY DOESN'T WANT TO BE EXPOSED FOR... 198 00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,965 WHAT SHE REALLY IS. 199 00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:24,435 WHICH IS, UH... 200 00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:25,436 A LESBIAN. 201 00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:26,738 NO WAY! 202 00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,173 NO, I'M NOT. 203 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:29,841 I--I DATE DON. 204 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,742 Mary: THEN WHAT IS IT, SALLY? 205 00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:34,578 WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF BEING EXPOSED AS? 206 00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:41,786 A LESBIAN. 207 00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:43,355 AND WE'RE SO PROUD OF HER. 208 00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:44,856 WELL, ONWARDS AND UPWARDS. 209 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,391 THANKS, DICK. THANKS A HEAP. 210 00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:48,392 CAN I BE THERE WHEN DON FINDS OUT? 211 00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:49,694 ONLY IF I CAN BE THERE 212 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,529 WHEN ALISSA FINDS OUT YOUR LITTLE SECRET. 213 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,697 WHAT? BED WETTER. 214 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:53,865 EXCUSE ME? 215 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,033 I'M JUST TRYING TO TELL THE TRUTH HERE. 216 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,367 OHH...DUDE. 217 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,402 WELL, THAT'S OUR 2 SECRETS. 218 00:08:58,404 --> 00:09:01,506 EVERY FAMILY HAS 2, AND YOU'VE GOT OURS. 219 00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:03,674 WELL, IF I DO WET MY BED, 220 00:09:03,676 --> 00:09:06,378 IT'S ONLY BECAUSE I'M AFRAID OF YOU. 221 00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:07,712 AFRAID OF ME? 222 00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,381 WHY WOULD YOU BE AFRAID OF ME? 223 00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:10,548 DON'T HIT ME! 224 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,550 SALLY, PROTECT ME, PLEASE! 225 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,218 HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF THAT, YOU LITTLE RUNT! 226 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,620 THERE. YOU SEE WHY I PREFER WOMEN? 227 00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:23,527 SORRY. MARY, WE MADE A MESS OF YOUR FILM. 228 00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:25,529 OBVIOUSLY, ALL THIS IS UNUSABLE. 229 00:09:25,531 --> 00:09:27,565 I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS TO YOU. 230 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,802 BUT HOW ABOUT I GO OUT AND BUY YOU A NICE LUNCH? 231 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,305 YOU'RE STILL FILMING, AREN'T YOU? 232 00:09:35,474 --> 00:09:36,741 WELL, ALL RIGHT. 233 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:39,210 IT'S FINE. IT'S NO PROBLEM. 234 00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:43,581 BECAUSE, UH...WE ARE AN IDEAL FAMILY. 235 00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:47,218 PLEASE STOP. 236 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,759 Tommy: THIS IS BAD. 237 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,761 IT'S VERY, VERY BAD. 238 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,664 OK. I SAY WE START A FIRE, 239 00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:01,265 PULL THE FIRE ALARM, 240 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,835 AND THEN THE WHOLE AUDIENCE WILL CLEAR OUT. 241 00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:07,872 WHY DON'T WE JUST PULL THE FIRE ALARM? 242 00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:09,040 WITHOUT A FIRE? 243 00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,875 THAT'S ILLEGAL. 244 00:10:10,877 --> 00:10:13,244 YOU WANT ME TO GET IN TROUBLE OR SOMETHIN'? 245 00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:14,912 PIPE DOWN. 246 00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:16,681 THE MORE WE TALK, THE WORSE WE LOOK. 247 00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:17,715 SHH! 248 00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:19,684 DON'T SHUSH ME. I'M SHUSHING THEM. 249 00:10:21,555 --> 00:10:23,521 THE NEXT MORNING FOUND THE SOLOMONS 250 00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:25,890 IN AN OUTWARDLY JOVIAL MOOD, 251 00:10:25,892 --> 00:10:27,892 BUT IT WAS CLEAR THE REVELATIONS 252 00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:30,628 OF THE NIGHT BEFORE HAD TAKEN ITS TOLL. 253 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,130 HERE, SALLY. I GOT YOU THIS BOOK. 254 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,365 IT'S CALLED OHIO'S BEST LESBIAN HIKES. 255 00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:37,568 AW, THANKS, TOMMY. 256 00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,137 NOW I CAN WALK AND KISS WOMEN 257 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,938 AT THE SAME TIME. 258 00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:42,774 WELL, GOOD. 259 00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:44,809 YOU KNOW, TOMMY, 260 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,778 I'M HITTIN' THE MALL THIS AFTERNOON 261 00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,913 TO PICK UP SOME SENSIBLE SHOES. 262 00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:50,815 HOW ARE YOU FIXED FOR FRESH, 263 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,817 DRY BEDDING? 264 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:56,921 I'M DOING JUST FINE, BUT THANKS ANYWAY, BUTCH. 265 00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:59,256 IS THAT ANY WAY FOR AN IDEAL FAMILY TO BEHAVE? 266 00:10:59,258 --> 00:11:00,291 I DON'T THINK SO. 267 00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:01,359 DON'T YOU HIT ME! 268 00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:02,427 I AM NOT HITTING YOU. 269 00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:03,494 IT HURTS ME ON THE INSIDE, 270 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,929 EVERY TIME! 271 00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:06,030 HEY, ALBRIGHT! 272 00:11:06,032 --> 00:11:07,598 WHO DO I HAVE TO SLEEP WITH 273 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:11,002 TO GET SOME FACE TIME AROUND HERE? 274 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,471 SURE. I DON'T HAVE A GLAMOROUS PROBLEM 275 00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:14,672 LIKE TOMMY OR SALLY, 276 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,774 BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S A BURDEN 277 00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:19,176 BEING THE PERFECT ONE IN THE FAMILY. 278 00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:21,245 WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW HOW I HANDLE IT? 279 00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:23,014 Mary: TELL US, HARRY. 280 00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:28,552 I GOT ME A LITTLE DRINKIN' PROBLEM. 281 00:11:29,623 --> 00:11:31,589 YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. 282 00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:33,457 PERFECT, HAPPY LITTLE HARRY. 283 00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:37,028 WELL, MAYBE HE'S NOT SO PERFECT AFTER ALL, HUH? 284 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,763 OH, WAIT A MINUTE. NOW YOU'RE GOING 285 00:11:38,765 --> 00:11:41,532 TO HOUND ME WITH YOUR CAMERAS, AREN'T YOU? 286 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,502 WELL, WHATEVER. 287 00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:46,204 Mary: IN RETROSPECT, 288 00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:48,339 HARRY'S PROBLEM SHOULD HAVE BEEN OBVIOUS... 289 00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:50,841 ALL THE TELLTALE SIGNS WERE THERE: 290 00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:53,511 FORGETFULNESS, MOODINESS... 291 00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:54,512 [THUMP] 292 00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:56,847 LACK OF COORDINATION. 293 00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:12,429 IT WAS HARD TO WATCH. 294 00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,305 THE SOLOMONS ARE LOVELY PEOPLE. 295 00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:21,639 VERY NICE. THEY'RE CLEAN. 296 00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:25,509 THEY NEVER COMPLAIN, AND, AS FOR THE NOISE, 297 00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:30,014 WELL, I THINK THEY'VE GOTTEN USED TO IT. 298 00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:33,384 Mary: HOW DO YOU THINK THEY FUNCTION 299 00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:37,922 WITHOUT A TRADITIONAL MOTHER FIGURE? 300 00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:41,259 YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO LET ME TAP DANCE. 301 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:44,095 WHEN DO I GET TO TAP DANCE? 302 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:47,699 SALLY'S NOT YET COMFORTABLE WITH HER OWN SEXUALITY, 303 00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:49,166 BUT THAT WILL COME IN TIME. 304 00:12:49,168 --> 00:12:51,335 THERE'S JUST SO MUCH A BROTHER CAN DO. 305 00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:52,904 Mary: BUT WHAT ABOUT HARRY? 306 00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:54,405 OH, HARRY'S STRAIGHT AS AN ARROW. 307 00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:56,373 HE'S JUST NOT VERY BRIGHT. 308 00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:59,043 I'M TALKING ABOUT HIS DRINKING PROBLEM. 309 00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:01,913 WHAT? HARRY DOESN'T HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM. 310 00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:03,447 YES, HE DOES, DICK. 311 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:06,484 I NEVER AUTHORIZED ANY DRINKING PROBLEM. 312 00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,853 EXCUSE ME. 313 00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:10,989 HARRY? 314 00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:13,390 I'LL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS. 315 00:13:13,392 --> 00:13:15,192 HARRY, ARE YOU IN HERE? 316 00:13:16,863 --> 00:13:18,630 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 317 00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:19,831 NOWHERE. 318 00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:23,601 I WAS JUST GETTING READY TO TAKE A SHOWER. 319 00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:25,937 HARRY? 320 00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:29,707 Sally: ♪ LA LA, TAKIN' A SHOWER... ♪ 321 00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:31,643 DAMN! 322 00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:32,644 HARRY! 323 00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:33,845 ♪ TAKING A SHOWER... ♪ 324 00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:36,880 LET'S MOVE. 325 00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:39,350 WHAT'S WITH THE CAMERA? 326 00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:41,586 AW, CRIKEY! 327 00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:42,820 Mary: WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 328 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,222 WE HAVE A DATE. 329 00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:46,490 NO. UH, NO. MM-MM. 330 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,158 THIS IS NOT A DATE. 331 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,460 IT'S NOT? 332 00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:51,962 NO. NOW LET'S GO. 333 00:13:51,964 --> 00:13:54,899 Mary: SALLY, HAVE YOU TOLD HIM? 334 00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:56,801 OF COURSE I'VE TOLD HIM. 335 00:13:56,803 --> 00:13:57,802 NOW LET'S GET-- 336 00:13:57,804 --> 00:13:58,803 TOLD ME WHAT? 337 00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:00,371 HARRY! 338 00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:02,206 SALLY, WHY AREN'T YOU IN THE SHOWER? 339 00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:03,674 OH, GREAT. 340 00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:07,445 LOOK, DON, UM... 341 00:14:09,281 --> 00:14:12,249 YOU AND I HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON. 342 00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:14,686 WHAT? 343 00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:18,089 WE BOTH LIKE THE LADIES. 344 00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:21,025 OF COURSE WE BOTH LIKE--HUH? 345 00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:23,795 I AM A GAY WOMAN. 346 00:14:23,797 --> 00:14:25,029 YOU'RE KIDDING ME. 347 00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,664 SHE'S KIDDING ME. 348 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:27,832 IS SHE KIDDING ME? 349 00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:29,267 SHE'S KIDDING ME, RIGHT? 350 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:30,935 SALLY, YOU'RE GOING BACK INTO THAT HOUSE! 351 00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:33,504 OW! YOU'RE THE REASON I'M GAY! 352 00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:35,706 IS THIS CANDID CAMERA? 353 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,608 NO, THIS ISN'T CANDID CAMERA. 354 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,810 I CAN SEE THE FREAKIN' CAMERA! 355 00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:44,015 AAH--HEY! 356 00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:46,717 DONNY! WHOO-WHOO! 357 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,286 HARRY, THERE YOU ARE. 358 00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:50,120 OH, BUZZ OFF! 359 00:14:50,122 --> 00:14:51,389 HONK THE HORN! 360 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:54,024 STEP AWAY FROM THE VEHICLE. 361 00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:56,360 STEP AWAY FROM THE VEHICLE. 362 00:14:58,097 --> 00:14:59,797 WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? 363 00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:02,132 I WAS JUST TRYING TO GET SOME ATTENTION. 364 00:15:02,134 --> 00:15:03,133 ATTENTION? 365 00:15:03,135 --> 00:15:05,570 WHAT A STUPID, IDIOTIC-- 366 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,906 CRY FOR HELP, YOU POOR THING. 367 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,074 DON'T WORRY, HARRY. 368 00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:11,742 WE'RE GONNA GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER. 369 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:12,710 [BURP] 370 00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:22,420 COME ON, DON, WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? 371 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:23,755 NO BIG DEAL. 372 00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:26,424 MY LONGTIME GIRLFRIEND'S A LESBIAN. 373 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,493 I'LL JUST WALK IT OFF. 374 00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:31,729 YOU'VE STILL BEEN, YOU KNOW, 375 00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:33,264 SLEEPING WITH HER AND WHATNOT, 376 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,598 HAVEN'T YOU? 377 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,267 WELL, YEAH. 378 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,601 THEN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 379 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,270 I'LL BET SHE JUST THINKS OF YOU 380 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:40,738 AS A WOMAN. 381 00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:42,106 WHAT? 382 00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,275 YOU'VE GOT A STRONG FEMININE SIDE. 383 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,276 I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE 384 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,444 I CAN GO TO YOU FOR ADVICE, 385 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:47,445 FASHION TIPS. 386 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:48,446 WELL, IT'S NO GREAT TALENT. 387 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:52,183 SOME COLORS JUST GO TOGETHER. 388 00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:55,019 IF I WAS A LESBIAN, 389 00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:57,421 YOU'RE THE KINDA LADY I'D WANNA BE WITH. 390 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:05,029 I'M NOT SURPRISED HARRY HAS A DRINKING PROBLEM. 391 00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:07,498 BEING AROUND DR. SOLOMON MESSES PEOPLE UP IN THE HEAD. 392 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:08,499 YOU SHOULD KNOW. 393 00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:10,668 YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH HIM. 394 00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:12,403 I BET YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUTS 395 00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,438 TO PUT THAT IN YOUR FILM. 396 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,975 YES, I DO HAVE THE GUTS. 397 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,977 HEY, HOW YA DOIN'? 398 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:23,814 HELLO. 399 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:24,815 WHAT'S GOING ON? 400 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,483 OH. THEY'RE MAKING A DOCUMENTARY 401 00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:28,185 ABOUT MY FAMILY. 402 00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:30,454 HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME 403 00:16:30,456 --> 00:16:31,488 THERE WERE CAMERAS IN THERE? 404 00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:33,490 I HAVE, LIKE, THE ZIT OF THE CENTURY. 405 00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:36,327 WHAT, THAT? OH, COME ON. 406 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,162 OH, MY GOD. MAKE THEM GO AWAY. 407 00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:41,498 ALISSA, PLEASE, GIVE ME A BREAK. 408 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,000 THAT IS NOTHING. 409 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,169 NOTHING? IF PEOPLE AT SCHOOL SEE THIS, 410 00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:46,670 I WILL BE SO EMBARRASSED. 411 00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:47,671 [MIMICKING] 412 00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:48,839 I WILL BE SO EMBARRASSED. 413 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,341 YOU THINK YOU'LL BE EMBARRASSED, 414 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,009 WAIT TILL THE WHOLE SCHOOL FINDS OUT 415 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,344 I'M A BED WETTER. HUH? 416 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,612 OH, MY GOD. 417 00:16:55,614 --> 00:16:57,214 I--I DIDN'T KNOW. 418 00:16:57,216 --> 00:16:58,916 WELL, NOW YOU KNOW. 419 00:16:58,918 --> 00:17:00,017 I'M SO SORRY. 420 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,353 LOOK, I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY, RUDOLPH. 421 00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:06,290 AT LEAST RUDOLPH DOESN'T HAVE TO WEAR DIAPERS. 422 00:17:06,292 --> 00:17:08,659 THEY'RE PULL-UPS! 423 00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:11,062 CALL THEM WHAT THEY ARE! 424 00:17:12,264 --> 00:17:13,263 COME ON. 425 00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:14,732 BUT I DON'T WANT TO. 426 00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,867 HARRY, SAY IT. 427 00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:22,139 MY NAME IS HARRY, 428 00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:24,875 AND I'M AN ALCOHOLIC. 429 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,477 OK...THIS IS TRIPLE "A." 430 00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:32,216 I'M THIRSTY. 431 00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:34,885 SO... 432 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,454 THE BIG MAN LIKES TO DRINK, 433 00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:37,455 IS THAT IT? 434 00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:38,456 YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. 435 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:39,724 SO LET ME POUR YOU A DRINK. 436 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:42,360 YOU'RE GONNA DRINK THIS WHOLE BOTTLE OF BOOZE. 437 00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:44,061 AND THEN YOU'RE GONNA DRINK ANOTHER 438 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,564 AND ANOTHER... UNTIL YOU ARE SO SICK 439 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,399 THAT YOU'RE NEVER GONNA WANT TO LOOK 440 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,067 AT A BOTTLE OF BOOZE AGAIN. 441 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,669 CAN I HAVE A LIME? 442 00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,304 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 443 00:17:54,306 --> 00:17:57,207 I'M SAVING YOUR BROTHER'S LIFE. 444 00:17:57,209 --> 00:17:58,843 BECAUSE I LOVE HIM. 445 00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:00,178 OH, GREAT PLAN, DICK. 446 00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:01,679 HOW YOU GONNA HELP ME, 447 00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:03,881 MAKE ME SLEEP ON AN ELECTRIC BLANKET? 448 00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:05,883 WHAT I DO, I DO FOR OUR FAMILY. 449 00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:07,918 OH, PLEASE. WHAT YOU DO, YOU DO FOR YOURSELF. 450 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,220 I MEAN, MY GOD, LOOK AT US. 451 00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:10,221 YEAH. ALL 'CAUSE YOU WANTED TO BE 452 00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:11,222 IN SOME MOVIE. 453 00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:12,223 OH, COME ON! 454 00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,224 YOU WANTED TO DO IT, TOO. 455 00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:14,225 YOU MANIPULATE. 456 00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:15,226 YEAH! YEAH! 457 00:18:15,228 --> 00:18:16,461 WHERE WOULD YOU ALL BE 458 00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:17,929 WITHOUT MY MANIPULATION? 459 00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:21,866 I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE A GOOD ALCOHOLIC FOR YOU. 460 00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:24,268 [ALL ARGUING AT ONCE] 461 00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:28,072 YOU WANT SOME SECRETS, ALBRIGHT? 462 00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:29,073 HMM? 463 00:18:29,075 --> 00:18:32,176 YOU WANT THE BIG, FAT FAMILY SECRET? 464 00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:33,811 TOMMY? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 465 00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:35,913 DICK'S NOT EVEN MY REAL FATHER. 466 00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:40,984 COME ON, AUNT SALLY, UNCLE HARRY. 467 00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:48,092 THE LESBIAN HAS LEFT THE BUILDING. 468 00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,631 I THINK THEY JUST... 469 00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:59,603 OCCASIONALLY, WE HAVE A LITTLE, UH... 470 00:18:59,605 --> 00:19:03,607 IT'S HEALTHY FOR AN IDEAL FAMILY TO... 471 00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:07,878 THIS MOVIE IS OVER! 472 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:11,014 SOMETIMES A FILM CAPTURES THE TRUTH. 473 00:19:11,016 --> 00:19:14,318 SOMETIMES A FILM CREATES ITS OWN TRUTH. 474 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,321 I'M DR. MARY ALBRIGHT. 475 00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:18,855 Ph.D. 476 00:19:23,429 --> 00:19:24,428 THANK YOU. 477 00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:25,429 BRAVO! BRAVO! 478 00:19:25,431 --> 00:19:27,231 THANK YOU ALL SO-- 479 00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:32,836 AND I THOUGHT MY FAMILY WAS SCREWED UP. 480 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:36,106 YOU MADE ME LAUGH, YOU MADE ME CRY. 481 00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:37,374 OH, MY GOD, THEY ACTUALLY LIKE US. 482 00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:38,409 WOW. 483 00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:39,977 TOMMY. 484 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:42,346 YOU WERE SO DARK AND TROUBLED... 485 00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:44,181 AND SCREWED UP. 486 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,283 I AM SO LUCKY. 487 00:19:46,285 --> 00:19:48,219 HA. OH, THAT'S GREAT. 488 00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:50,354 HEY, YOU WANNA GET SOME PUNCH? 489 00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:54,057 UM...IT'S A LITTLE CLOSE TO BEDTIME, ISN'T IT? 490 00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:58,362 SALLY? 491 00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,864 I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I ACCEPT YOU 492 00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:02,366 FOR WHO YOU ARE, 493 00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,135 AND IF WE END UP BEING JUST FRIENDS-- 494 00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:09,173 SALLY. 495 00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:10,574 DON. 496 00:20:10,576 --> 00:20:12,442 OH, MAN. 497 00:20:12,444 --> 00:20:14,478 WOW. 498 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,447 YOU JUST KISSED THE GAY RIGHT OUTTA ME. 499 00:20:17,449 --> 00:20:18,448 I DID? 500 00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:20,183 UH-HUH. 501 00:20:20,185 --> 00:20:21,652 WHAT CAN I SAY? 502 00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:22,586 IT'S A GIFT. 503 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,790 SO, UH, WHAT DID YOU THINK? 504 00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:27,891 HMM? 505 00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,494 OH, IT WAS TERRIFIC. REALLY GOOD. 506 00:20:30,496 --> 00:20:31,495 YOU REALLY THINK SO? 507 00:20:31,497 --> 00:20:32,496 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 508 00:20:32,498 --> 00:20:34,298 HEY, UH, DO YOU THINK I HAVE A SHOT 509 00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:36,033 WITH THAT TAP DANCING LADY? 510 00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:39,703 OH, I THINK YOU'VE GOT MORE THAN A SHOT. 511 00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:46,376 MARY, WHAT SAY WE GO BACK TO YOUR PLACE 512 00:20:46,378 --> 00:20:49,446 AND MAKE A LITTLE FILM OF OUR OWN? 513 00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:52,316 ARE YOU SUGGESTING WHAT I THINK YOU'RE SUGGESTING? 514 00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:53,684 OH, YEAH. 515 00:20:53,686 --> 00:20:55,319 A MOVIE ABOUT ME 516 00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:56,988 WITHOUT THE REST OF THE FAMILY. 517 00:20:56,990 --> 00:20:59,023 I WAS THINKING... "A DAY IN THE LIFE." 518 00:20:59,025 --> 00:21:00,858 YOU FOLLOW ME TO THE OFFICE-- 519 00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:02,126 DON'T FILM NINA.