1
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:07,339
OH, MY GOD!
2
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,007
LAST NIGHT'S GAME
WAS BRUTAL!
3
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,508
OH, WHAT HAPPENED?
4
00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:12,510
"WHITE QUEEN'S BISHOP 3
TAKES BLACK ROOK'S PAWN 4
5
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:13,712
IN 12 MOVES!"
6
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:16,381
AAH! IN YOUR FACE,
ANDREI PERSHNEKOV!
7
00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:17,416
OH!
OH!
8
00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:18,450
ALL RIGHT, FELLAS,
SET UP IN HERE.
9
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:19,818
MOVE ALL THIS
FURNITURE OUT.
10
00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:21,152
HI, DONNY!
11
00:00:21,154 --> 00:00:22,387
YOU WANT
AN OMELETTE?
12
00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:23,522
I CAN'T, SALLY.
13
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:25,123
I'M HERE ON
OFFICIAL BUSINESS.
14
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:27,492
AND, YES, I WOULD
LIKE THAT OMELETTE.
15
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,661
WHAT KIND
OF OFFICIAL BUSINESS?
16
00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:31,029
MUSHROOM AND CHEESE.
17
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,932
OH! AND WE SUSPECT
THAT YOUR NEIGHBOR
18
00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:36,769
ACROSS THE STREET
IS A VIDEO PIRATE.
19
00:00:36,771 --> 00:00:39,270
OHH, YOU MEAN THE GUY
WITH THE PEG LEG
20
00:00:39,272 --> 00:00:41,173
AND THE EYE PATCH?
21
00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:43,342
NO, THE GUY
RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO HIM.
22
00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:45,277
I'M TALKING ABOUT
THE KIND OF SCUM
23
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:46,811
THAT PUTS NEW MOVIES
ON TAPE
24
00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:49,548
AND THEN RESELLS THEM
ILLEGALLY FOR A PROFIT.
25
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:52,517
DON, WHEN YOU NAB
THIS CRIMINAL,
26
00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:53,852
AS I KNOW YOU WILL,
27
00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:56,187
CAN YOU GET US A COPY
OF PRINCE'S MUCH MALIGNED
28
00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:57,723
AND MISUNDERSTOOD
FILM CLASSIC
29
00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,291
UNDER A CHERRY MOON?
30
00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:01,393
DICK, YOU CAN GET THAT
AT ANY VIDEO STORE.
31
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:02,727
YOU'D THINK SO
WOULDN'T YOU?
32
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:03,662
NO.
BUT NO.
33
00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,031
JIMMY!
34
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:07,566
GET THOSE 22 POWER
BINOCULARS.
35
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:08,833
PUT THEM ON THE TRIPOD.
36
00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:10,735
BOB, GET THE NIGHT GOGGLES
FOR BACKUP.
37
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,370
AND, PHIL!
38
00:01:12,372 --> 00:01:13,338
SURPRISE ME.
39
00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:17,909
MAN, I LOVE IT
40
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:20,479
WHEN YOU ORDER
PEOPLE AROUND.
41
00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:22,747
ORDER ME AROUND.
42
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,716
WELL, THERE'S REALLY
NOTHING LEFT TO DO.
43
00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:26,651
I WAS SORT OF RUNNING
OUT OF GAS WITH PHIL.
44
00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:28,153
ORDER
45
00:01:28,155 --> 00:01:29,588
ME
46
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,490
AROUND.
47
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:33,258
WELL, I, UH...
48
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:36,261
I GUESS YOU COULD
MAKE ME THAT OMELETTE.
49
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,397
ARE YOU ASKING ME
OR TELLING ME?
50
00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:40,432
AND MAKE IT FLUFFY!
WAAH!
51
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:21,673
SINCE VOLUME
IS PROPORTIONAL
52
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:23,308
TO THE CUBE
OF THE RADIUS,
53
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:28,246
THEN THE ATOM IS ACTUALLY
10 TO THE 15th POWER--
54
00:02:28,248 --> 00:02:29,814
MMM!
55
00:02:31,351 --> 00:02:32,950
WHAT DID I JUST SAY, LEON?
56
00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:36,421
UH, "WHAT DID
I JUST SAY, LEON."
57
00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:38,089
STUDENTS,
WE ARE TALKING ABOUT
58
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:40,859
THE ORBITAL TRAJECTORIES
OF SUBATOMIC NUCLEI.
59
00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:43,762
THIS IS THE FUN STUFF
I PROMISED YOU!
60
00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:44,929
DR. SOLOMON,
61
00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:46,965
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT US
TO CONCENTRATE?
62
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,166
YEAH, THIS
IS THE LAST CLASS
63
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,234
BEFORE SPRING BREAK.
64
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:51,236
AHH, YES, SPRING BREAK.
65
00:02:51,238 --> 00:02:53,372
THE TIME WHEN YOUNG PEOPLE
GIVE THEIR MINDS A REST
66
00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:56,108
FROM GIVING
THEIR MINDS A REST.
67
00:02:56,110 --> 00:02:57,276
IT'S SO GREAT!
68
00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:59,311
IT'S A WHOLE WEEK
OF DRINKING AND PARTYING
69
00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:02,915
AND WATER-SKIING NAKED
AT MIDNIGHT WITH A LIVE GOAT!
70
00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:04,182
IT'S GONNA BE
SO MUCH FUN!
71
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,584
THAT SOUNDS UTTERLY
INFANTILE!
72
00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:09,488
NOT TO MENTION A WASTE
OF A VERY TALENTED GOAT.
73
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:11,989
COME ON, DR. SOLOMON.
YOU WERE YOUNG ONCE.
74
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,560
WHY, NO.
75
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,896
NO, I WASN'T.
76
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,063
WELL, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
77
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,367
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
78
00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:28,807
NINA...
79
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:30,709
YOU STILL PASS
FOR YOUNG.
80
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,813
WHAT DO YOU DO
DURING SPRING BREAK?
81
00:03:35,815 --> 00:03:37,315
I LIKE TO USE THE TIME
TO RELAX
82
00:03:37,317 --> 00:03:38,450
AND FIND MY CENTER AGAIN.
83
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:40,151
AND HOW DO YOU DO THAT?
84
00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:43,221
WELL, I PICTURE
A 50-MILE RADIUS AROUND YOU,
85
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,823
AND I GO OUTSIDE OF THAT.
86
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:50,128
AH, THAT DOES
SOUND RELAXING.
87
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:53,131
OH, DICK,
I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
88
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:54,433
I WANTED YOU
TO SEE THIS.
89
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:56,501
"THE BED AND BREAKFAST
ON STERLING LAKE"?
90
00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:58,302
STERLING LAKE IS
REALLY SPECIAL TO ME, DICK.
91
00:03:58,304 --> 00:03:59,905
I SPENT SO MANY
HAPPY SUMMERS THERE
92
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,706
WITH MY FAMILY
WHEN I WAS YOUNG.
93
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:04,876
WAIT A SECOND.
YOU HAD A YOUTH, TOO?
94
00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:06,344
YES, DICK.
95
00:04:06,346 --> 00:04:07,812
WELL, WHAT WAS IT LIKE,
96
00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,314
OR CAN YOU
STILL REMEMBER?
97
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:12,383
IT WAS WONDERFUL.
98
00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:14,786
WE LIVED IN LOG CABINS
WE BUILT OURSELVES.
99
00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:17,689
OH! AND WHEN MR. LINCOLN
CAME TO TOWN,
100
00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:19,658
WE WERE ALL A-FLUTTER.
101
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:22,094
WHAT DO YOU THINK
IT WAS LIKE, DICK?
102
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,595
I'M SORRY, MARY.
103
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:26,465
I JUST FEEL LIKE...
104
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:28,200
LIKE I NEVER HAD
A YOUTH.
105
00:04:28,202 --> 00:04:29,501
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
106
00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:30,935
WHILE YOU WERE
GROWING UP,
107
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,237
I WAS WORKING
108
00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:34,272
AS A COLOR SPECTRUM
PARTICLE SEPARATOR
109
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,940
AT THE ASSEMBLAGE
DOME.
110
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,610
BOY, AND I BITCHED
ABOUT WORKING
111
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,144
AT THE DAIRY QUEEN.
112
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:44,849
PHIL?
113
00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:47,786
WHAT IS THIS?
114
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:51,389
I ORDERED A PASTRAMI ON RYE
WITHOUT MUSTARD.
115
00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:54,492
THIS HAS MUSTARD!
116
00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:56,761
YOU CALL YOURSELF A COP?
117
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:05,670
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT!
118
00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:07,939
ARE THOSE COPS GONNA
BE UP HERE ALL NIGHT?
119
00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,006
'CAUSE
I'D REALLY RATHER
120
00:05:09,008 --> 00:05:11,476
HAVE THEM COME DOWN
TO MY PLACE.
121
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,778
THEY'RE STAKING OUT THIS
GUY ACROSS THE STREET
122
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:15,681
WHO ILLEGALLY PIRATES
VIDEOS.
123
00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:18,216
DOES HE HAVE ANY
FILMS STARRING...
124
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:19,685
CHESTY DOUBLOONS?
125
00:05:20,753 --> 00:05:23,155
UH, I'M NOT SURE. WHY?
126
00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:25,423
NO REASON.
127
00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:27,526
OK, BOYS,
I'M OUT OF HERE.
128
00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:28,793
NOW, LISTEN UP.
129
00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:30,061
WITH THE POLICE HERE
DAY AND NIGHT,
130
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,696
I WANT YOU ALL TO BE
ON YOUR GUARD.
131
00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:32,998
DON'T DO ANYTHING
THAT MIGHT EXPOSE
132
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,666
OUR TRUE IDENTITIES.
133
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:35,833
COME ON, DICK.
134
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:37,001
WHAT DO YOU THINK
WE'RE GOING TO DO,
135
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,336
WALK AROUND IN
T-SHIRTS THAT SAY,
136
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,472
"HUG ME.
I'M AN ALIEN"?
137
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:46,311
I'M NEVER GONNA
LIVE THAT DOWN, AM I?
138
00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:48,913
YOUR HEAD LOOKS FUNNY.
139
00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:50,715
WATCH THIS.
140
00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:52,150
I'M LOOKING
FOR AN OFFICER
141
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:53,985
DON ORVILLE.
142
00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:58,490
I AM HE.
143
00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:00,992
JACK McMANNUS.
STATE CRIME DIVISION.
144
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,727
WELL, WHAT,
LIKE THE FEDS?
145
00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:04,362
NO.
146
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,864
FEDS ARE FEDERAL.
I'M WITH THE STATE.
147
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,633
IT'S FEDS...
148
00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:10,268
STATE...
149
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:11,670
YOU.
150
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:15,307
DON, IS HE SERIOUS?
151
00:06:15,309 --> 00:06:16,641
LISTEN UP, PEOPLE!
152
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:17,809
WE'VE BEEN CHASING
THIS VIDEO PIRATE
153
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,711
FOR A LONG TIME,
SO I HEREBY COMMANDEER
154
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,246
THIS OBSERVATION POST.
155
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:23,882
BUT DON, THIS IS
YOUR CASE. TELL HIM!
156
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,051
YEAH, WHAT AM I
SUPPOSED TO DO?
157
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,518
YOU CAN
GET ME A SANDWICH.
158
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:31,256
HEY,
WHO'S THIS GUY?
159
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:33,225
JACK McMANNUS.
I'M WITH THE STATE.
160
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,026
OOH! A FED.
161
00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:44,902
AND THIS IS YOUR ROOM.
162
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:47,305
OH, MY GOD.
163
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:49,240
MARY, COME LOOK
AT THE ROOM!
164
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:55,747
OH, IT'S JUST
AS IT WAS
165
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,248
WHEN I
WAS A LITTLE GIRL.
166
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,150
AND I REMEMBER YOU!
167
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:00,585
MY FAMILY,
THE ALBRIGHTS,
168
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,086
BROUGHT ME HERE
EVERY SUMMER.
169
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,689
I'M SORRY, DEAR.
I DON'T RECALL.
170
00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:06,158
OH, YOU MUST REMEMBER!
171
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,893
I LOVED YOUR BLUEBERRY
BELGIAN WAFFLES.
172
00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:10,962
I HAVE SO MANY GUESTS HERE.
173
00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:13,898
YOU PEOPLE ALL
BLEND TOGETHER.
174
00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:18,136
OH! I HAVE
A WONDERFUL IDEA!
175
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:20,105
WE USED TO GO TO
THIS WOODSY LITTLE PLACE
176
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,373
CALLED DER BURGERPLATZ.
177
00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:23,508
THE JUICIEST HAMBURGERS
IN THE WORLD.
178
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:25,543
IT SOUNDS DER WONDERFUL.
179
00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:26,978
SHALL WE GO NOW?
180
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:29,047
OR LATER.
181
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:30,281
AFTER YOU'VE EARNED IT.
182
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,683
OH. YOU MEAN
YOU WANT TO--
183
00:07:32,685 --> 00:07:34,619
BUT, MARY,
IT'S STILL DAYLIGHT.
184
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:37,823
SURE! THAT'S THE CHARM
OF A PLACE LIKE THIS.
185
00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:40,024
OH, THEY SHOULD PUT THAT
IN THE BROCHURE.
186
00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:46,297
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RIDE
DON LIKE THAT?
187
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,799
HE'S A GOOD GUY.
188
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,268
WELL, I'M SURE HE IS,
BUT I HAVE A JOB TO DO.
189
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:52,871
I DIDN'T MAKE LIEUTENANT
BY BEING A SOFTIE.
190
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:54,639
WAIT A SECOND.
YOU'RE A LIEUTENANT?
191
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,074
SO AM I!
192
00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,110
SALVATION ARMY.
193
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,412
YEAH, YEAH.
194
00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:04,615
I GET TO RING
YOUR BIGGER BELLS.
195
00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:05,984
SO DOES THE TARGET
196
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,318
HAVE A BACK DOOR
PERIMETER?
197
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,319
YEAH. I'LL HAVE A UNIT
STANDING BY
198
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,688
WITH A RESERVE BLOCKADE.
199
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:12,390
OH, HOW YOU GOING IN,
"V" FORMATION OR 2 BY 2?
200
00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:15,560
WOW, YOU REALLY KNOW
YOUR MILITARY TACTICS.
201
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:17,929
OH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
CHRISTMAS CROWDS,
202
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:19,764
THEY'RE
BASICALLY ANIMALS.
203
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,500
2 BY 2, BUT
IF THINGS GET DICEY,
204
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:23,501
I'M GONNA HAVE
TO FALL BACK ON
205
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:24,502
SPRINT AND COVER.
206
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,871
THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT I WOULD DO.
207
00:08:26,873 --> 00:08:29,173
SHALL WE TALK WEAPONS?
208
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,675
SURE.
209
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,443
WANT TO SEE MY PIECE?
210
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,279
YOWSER!
211
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:40,484
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
212
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:44,889
OH, THIS IS HORRIBLE!
213
00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:48,025
SPRING BREAK HAS INVADED
MY LITTLE BURGERPLATZ.
214
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:50,028
SO THIS IS WHAT
YOUNG PEOPLE DO
215
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,462
ON SPRING BREAK?
216
00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:53,097
THESE KIDS HAVE
RUINED THIS PLACE.
217
00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:54,365
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
218
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,300
IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE HAVING
A PRETTY GOOD TIME,
219
00:08:56,302 --> 00:08:59,070
ESPECIALLY THOSE PEOPLE
OVER THERE WITH THE--
220
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,105
IS THAT A GOAT?
221
00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:02,440
OH, LET'S
GET OUT OF HERE.
222
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:03,708
THERE ARE OTHER
PLACES TO EAT.
223
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:04,875
I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT, MARY,
224
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:06,311
WHY DON'T YOU GO
AND I'LL STAY?
225
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:07,445
WHAT?
226
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:09,614
UH, THE BURGERS.
YOU LOVE THE BURGERS,
227
00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:12,983
AND YOU SHOULD HAVE THEM,
SO I'LL STAY AND GET IN LINE
228
00:09:12,985 --> 00:09:14,652
IN THIS FUN, AWFUL PLACE,
229
00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:15,653
AND BRING THEM BACK
TO THE ROOM
230
00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:17,388
EVENTUALLY--RIGHT AWAY!
231
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,757
REALLY, DICK?
YOU'RE THE BEST!
232
00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:21,226
NO, YOU'RE THE BEST.
233
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:22,560
NO, WAIT.
234
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,928
I'M THE BEST.
235
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,966
YOU SEE THAT?
IT'S SO GREAT!
236
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:30,635
HEY, BUDDY!
237
00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:31,736
DR. BUDDY!
238
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:32,871
HEY!
HEY!
239
00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:34,205
CARYN, PITMAN,
AND LEON,
240
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:35,506
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
HERE?
241
00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:36,907
A PHYSICS EXPERIMENT.
242
00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:38,443
EVERY TIME I POUR BEER
DOWN MY THROAT,
243
00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:41,012
IT OBEYS THE LAWS
OF GRAVITY. EVERY TIME.
244
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:42,280
[BELCHES LOUDLY]
245
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:44,182
I'M PITMAN!
246
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:45,816
I'M PITMAN, TOO!
247
00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:47,084
[BELCHES]
248
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:48,086
YEAH!
249
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,354
CAN I JOIN YOU?
250
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:50,789
UM, WELL,
251
00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:52,424
HERE'S
THE THING:
252
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:53,358
NO.
253
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,361
THIS LOOKS LIKE
SO MUCH FUN!
254
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:57,595
PLEASE, UH, TELL ME
WHAT TO DO.
255
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,197
I'LL DO
ANYTHING YOU SAY.
256
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:00,231
WHAT?
257
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,167
I WANT TO BE
YOUR STUDENT,
258
00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:04,636
AND YOU CAN BE
MY ESTEEMED PROFESSORS.
259
00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:07,272
I'M SO TOTALLY ESTEEMED.
260
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:08,506
HA HA HA!
261
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,708
OK, OK.
LESSON ONE.
262
00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:13,544
THIS IS BEER.
GET TO KNOW IT.
263
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:17,615
NO, NO, NO, NO.
264
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,617
REALLY
GET TO KNOW IT.
265
00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:23,821
All chanting:
CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!
266
00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:26,190
[CHANTING]
267
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:28,660
SOLOMON, CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!
268
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:29,661
SOLOMON!
269
00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:31,462
SOLOMON, SOLOMON,
CHUG, CHUG, CHUG!
270
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,830
YEAH!
271
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:36,133
[BELCHES]
272
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:38,302
I'M PITMAN, TOO!
273
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,037
[ALL CHEERING]
274
00:10:44,710 --> 00:10:46,644
SO, JACK,
WHAT'S THE PERP DOING?
275
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,646
SITTING ON THE COUCH.
276
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,949
WHAT'S HE DOING NOW?
277
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:54,018
SITTING ON THE COUCH.
278
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:55,052
THAT BASTARD!
279
00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:56,320
HE'S TOYING WITH US!
280
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:57,755
IT'S ALL RIGHT, BOYS.
281
00:10:57,757 --> 00:10:59,157
WE ARE GONNA
TAIL THIS FREAK
282
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,893
UNTIL HE MAKES A MOVE,
AND I KNOW GUYS LIKE THIS.
283
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,127
THEY ALWAYS MAKE A MOVE.
284
00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:04,695
OH, YEAH, THEY MOVE,
ALL RIGHT.
285
00:11:04,697 --> 00:11:06,864
THEY MOVE
ALL OVER THE PLACE!
286
00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:10,734
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I GOTTA TAKE CARE OF A 514.
287
00:11:10,736 --> 00:11:11,702
WHAT'S THAT?
288
00:11:13,472 --> 00:11:15,206
PEE-PEE.
289
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:17,508
HEY, LIEUTENANT.
290
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:20,811
HEY, LIEU--YOU.
291
00:11:20,813 --> 00:11:22,747
WHAT IS IT
WITH THAT GUY?
292
00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:24,382
HE MAKES ME
FEEL SO...
293
00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:25,783
TINGLY?
ALIVE?
294
00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:27,385
YEAH! HEY.
295
00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:30,121
WOULD IT
BE WEIRD
296
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,356
IF I WENT
AND SMELLED
297
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:32,589
HIS JACKET?
298
00:11:32,591 --> 00:11:33,758
OH, WE HAVE.
299
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:34,859
GO AHEAD.
300
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,196
THAT'S THE LAST TIME
I GET COFFEE
301
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,530
FOR JACK McMANNUS.
302
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:40,764
OH, HEY--
303
00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:42,300
DON, YOU
GOTTA SIGN IN.
304
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,069
SINCE WHEN DO WE
HAVE TO SIGN IN?
305
00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:45,269
JACK'S RULES.
306
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:50,708
YEAH? WELL,
I AM NOT SIGNING IN!
307
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:51,709
OH, WHY DID THEY
HAVE TO BRING IN
308
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:52,710
THE FEDS?
309
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:53,911
THIS SHOULD'VE BEEN
MY COLLAR.
310
00:11:53,913 --> 00:11:55,547
WHY DON'T YOU BREAK
THE CASE YOURSELF?
311
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,381
YEAH! GET THE GUY
TO INCRIMINATE HIMSELF.
312
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,784
YEAH. AND GET IT ON
TAPE TO MAKE IT STICK.
313
00:11:59,786 --> 00:12:01,385
WHAT, YOU MEAN
LIKE A WIRE?
314
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:04,255
WELL, LOOK WHO
JUST WOKE UP!
315
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,525
WEARING A WIRE.
316
00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:08,726
NICE.
317
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:09,894
BUT WHO'S
GONNA DO IT?
318
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:10,895
I'LL DO IT.
319
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:11,896
COULD BE
DANGEROUS.
320
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:12,997
HARRY'LL DO IT.
321
00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:20,037
[SOFT ROCK PLAYING]
322
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:24,476
Solomon:
OH. HERE WE GO AGAIN...
323
00:12:24,478 --> 00:12:26,010
[VOMITING]
324
00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:27,879
[RETCHING]
325
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,515
OOF!
326
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:32,083
OK.
327
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,251
I THINK I'M REALLY DONE
THROWING UP NOW.
328
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:36,788
YOU'RE A WILD MAN,
DR. SOLOMON.
329
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:39,456
OH, I LOVE THIS!
LIVING IN THE MOMENT,
330
00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:42,559
ALCOHOL WREAKING HAVOC
ON MY LIVER,
331
00:12:42,561 --> 00:12:44,662
MY BODY DESTROYING ITSELF
FROM THE INSIDE--
332
00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:46,798
I JUST FEEL SO ALIVE!
333
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,433
LOOK AT ALL THOSE STARS.
334
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,602
THE UNIVERSE IS SO BIG.
335
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:55,406
THERE HAS JUST GOT TO BE
INTELLIGENT LIFE OUT THERE.
336
00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:57,642
OH, BUT THEY'D
NEVER COME HERE.
337
00:12:57,644 --> 00:12:59,610
I MEAN, WHAT CAN WE OFFER
338
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:02,814
BEINGS OF SUCH SUPREME
INTELLIGENCE?
339
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:03,815
BEER ME!
340
00:13:04,884 --> 00:13:06,651
WOW. YOU TURNED
INTO, LIKE,
341
00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:09,053
THIS WHOLE OTHER PERSON,
DR. SOLOMON.
342
00:13:09,055 --> 00:13:11,289
YOU CAN
CALL ME DICK.
343
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,258
THAT'S SO COOL,
DICK.
344
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,360
YOU CAN CALL ME
DR. SOLOMON.
345
00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:18,829
UH-OH.
346
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,734
[VOMITING]
347
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:29,173
WELL, HE PUT
THE FIRE OUT.
348
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:34,379
I THINK I'M REALLY DONE
THROWING UP NOW.
349
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:43,788
HI, JACK.
350
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:46,057
HI.
351
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:50,929
OUCHY, THIS DRESS
IS TOO TIGHT.
352
00:13:52,799 --> 00:13:53,932
OH, YEAH?
353
00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:58,002
AND TOO SHORT.
OHH!
354
00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,137
YEAH.
355
00:14:08,881 --> 00:14:11,148
HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
MR. PRESIDENT.
356
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,752
YOWSER.
357
00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:16,721
LISTEN, JACK,
358
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:19,022
I'M NOT GONNA
LIE TO YOU.
359
00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:20,858
I FIND YOU
VERY ATTRACTIVE,
360
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,192
AND I KNOW YOU
MUST FIND ME
361
00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:24,895
ATTRACTIVE,
BECAUSE...
362
00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:26,564
WELL, YOU
HAVE EYESIGHT.
363
00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:28,932
BUT I'M ON DUTY.
364
00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:30,368
I'M WEARING A THONG.
365
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,202
I'LL SIGN OUT.
366
00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:34,305
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
367
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,241
OHH.
368
00:14:37,243 --> 00:14:38,342
McMANNUS.
369
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:43,347
YEAH, CAPTAIN, I UNDERSTAND.
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
370
00:14:43,349 --> 00:14:45,349
I'M SORRY, DOLL.
371
00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:46,717
I GOTTA GO.
372
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,653
THERE'S SOMETHING THAT NEEDS
TO BE TAKEN CARE OF,
373
00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:50,621
AND I'M THE ONLY GUY
WHO CAN DO IT.
374
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:51,588
OHH!
375
00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:55,826
YOU AIN'T KIDDIN',
BABY.
376
00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:00,597
[SNORING]
377
00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:10,608
ISN'T SHE HOT?
378
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:11,976
SHE IS SO HOT.
379
00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:14,245
CAN I MAKE OUT
WITH HER?
380
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,180
NO, YOU CANNOT.
SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND.
381
00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:17,181
BUT I LET MY FRIENDS
382
00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:19,584
MAKE OUT WITH MY
GIRLFRIEND ALL THE TIME.
383
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,720
GET OVER IT, DUDE.
THE GIRL IS MINE.
384
00:15:33,132 --> 00:15:34,365
AAH!
385
00:15:35,902 --> 00:15:37,635
HELLO, LIGHT SLEEPER.
386
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:39,203
WHAT'S GOING ON?
387
00:15:39,205 --> 00:15:40,538
AH, THERE WAS
NOWHERE ELSE TO GO.
388
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:42,206
THE BARS WERE ALL CLOSED.
389
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:43,474
SO YOU BROUGHT THEM HERE?
390
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:44,809
WELL, YEAH!
391
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,911
WELL, THAT'S IT!
THE PARTY'S OVER!
392
00:15:47,913 --> 00:15:49,613
OH, COME ON, MARY,
WEREN'T YOU EVER YOUNG?
393
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:50,948
HEY, LEON!
394
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,650
DANCE BREAK!
395
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:53,851
WHOO!
WHOO!
396
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:55,286
[LOUD MUSIC PLAYING]
397
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:56,454
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU WOULD RUIN THIS
398
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,955
PLACE FOR ME, DICK,
399
00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,091
A PLACE THAT MEANT
SO MUCH TO ME.
400
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:01,391
GRIND IT, MARY!
401
00:16:01,393 --> 00:16:03,594
GRIND ALL YOUR
PROBLEMS AWAY!
402
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,567
STOP! STOP THIS RUCKUS
THIS MINUTE!
403
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:11,002
I AM SO SORRY!
404
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,970
I HAVE NEVER BEEN
SO EMBARRASSED.
405
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,505
OH, YOU SHOULD BE.
406
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,173
AND I DO REMEMBER YOU.
407
00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:19,009
YOU'RE THAT FAT
LITTLE GIRL
408
00:16:19,011 --> 00:16:21,979
WHO ATE EVERYBODY'S
BELGIAN WAFFLES.
409
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:22,980
WELL, I--
410
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:26,884
AND THIS IS THE KIND
OF WILD PARTIES
411
00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:28,652
AND DRUNKENNESS
412
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:31,288
THAT YOUR FAMILY BROUGHT
WHEN THEY CAME HERE.
413
00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:32,289
WHAT?
414
00:16:32,291 --> 00:16:35,492
I WANT YOU OUT OF HERE
BY TONIGHT!
415
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:38,895
[DOOR CLOSES]
416
00:16:38,897 --> 00:16:40,731
DANCE BREAK!
417
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:41,932
[LOUD MUSIC PLAYS]
418
00:16:46,205 --> 00:16:48,139
[CHIMING]
419
00:16:49,743 --> 00:16:53,745
TESTING 1, 2.
TESTING 1, 2.
420
00:16:53,747 --> 00:16:55,747
♪ I'VE GOT YOU ♪
421
00:16:55,749 --> 00:16:57,715
♪ UNDER MY SKIN ♪
422
00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:59,383
♪ I'VE GOT YOU-- ♪
423
00:17:00,719 --> 00:17:02,353
PIZZA DELIVERY.
424
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,989
I DIDN'T ORDER
A PIZZA.
425
00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:07,291
YEAH, WELL,
IT'S PART OF A SPECIAL
426
00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:08,759
PROMOTIONAL THING.
427
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,529
THERE'S NOTHIN'
BUT CRUSTS.
428
00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:15,132
[STATIC]
429
00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:16,467
Tommy: DON, DON,
SOMETHING'S WRONG.
430
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:18,903
I CAN'T HEAR
HARRY AT ALL.
431
00:17:18,905 --> 00:17:20,771
WHAT THE HELL
WAS THAT?
432
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:22,273
Don: OH, CRAP.
433
00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:24,808
I THINK WE'VE GOT THE MIC,
AND HE'S GOT THE SPEAKER.
434
00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:26,410
Tommy: WHAT?
435
00:17:26,412 --> 00:17:30,014
BUT--BUT THEN THAT MEANS
THAT THE VIDEO PIRATE
436
00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:33,050
CAN HEAR EVERYTHING
WE'RE SAYIN'!
437
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,685
Don: RUN, HARRY.
438
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:36,521
RUN!
439
00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:38,923
RUN, YOU IDIOT! RUN!
440
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:41,926
I GOTTA RUN.
441
00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:43,994
AAH!
442
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,032
LOOK AT THIS PLACE.
443
00:17:49,034 --> 00:17:51,836
YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO
TRASH A HOTEL ROOM, DICK.
444
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:54,072
I'M SORRY, MARY.
445
00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:55,573
WHAT ARE THESE?
446
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,275
OH, THOSE ARE
CANTALOUPE BALLS
447
00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:59,110
INJECTED WITH VODKA.
448
00:18:00,546 --> 00:18:02,046
STUPID.
449
00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:08,051
I'M JUST SO SORRY.
450
00:18:08,053 --> 00:18:09,453
I'VE RUINED THIS PLACE
451
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:12,489
THAT HOLDS SO MANY
HAPPY MEMORIES FOR YOU.
452
00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:14,658
MEMORIES?
453
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:17,094
NO, THAT OLD WOMAN WAS RIGHT.
454
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,330
MY PARENTS ONLY
BROUGHT DRUNKENNESS
455
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:21,098
AND CHAOS TO THIS PLACE.
456
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:24,268
I GUESS I ROMANTICIZED IT
BECAUSE I WAS FAT AND UNHAPPY
457
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,303
AND I JUST DIDN'T WANT
TO REMEMBER IT THAT WAY.
458
00:18:26,305 --> 00:18:27,804
THAT'S SO SAD.
459
00:18:27,806 --> 00:18:29,707
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT
ABOUT SELLING YOUR STORY
460
00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:31,408
TO LIFETIME?
461
00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:32,977
YOU COULD CALL IT
462
00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:35,312
FAT, FAT LITTLE GIRL,
463
00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:37,381
THE MARY ALBRIGHT
STORY.
464
00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:42,119
WHY DOES YOUR YOUTH
ALWAYS SEEM BETTER
465
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,554
WHEN YOU LOOK BACK ON IT?
466
00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:46,023
MARY, HOWEVER UNPLEASANT
YOUR YOUTH WAS,
467
00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:48,359
IT'S MADE YOU
WHO YOU ARE TODAY,
468
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:51,295
A BRIGHT, ACCOMPLISHED,
MATURE WOMAN,
469
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:52,964
THE WOMAN I LOVE.
470
00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:55,399
OHH, DICK.
471
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:03,407
OHH-HH-HH!
472
00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:09,713
JACK, ARE YOU
LEAVING?
473
00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:11,282
THIS CASE IS A BUST.
474
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:12,816
BARNEY FIFE HERE
ALERTED THE PERP
475
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,385
TO OUR PRESENCE,
AND NOW HE'S FLED.
476
00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:16,119
BOY, GIVE US SOME CREDIT.
477
00:19:16,121 --> 00:19:18,655
YEAH. WE SCREWED UP
THE CASE, TOO.
478
00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:20,824
YOU ARE A DISGRACE
TO THAT UNIFORM,
479
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:23,360
AND NOT JUST BECAUSE
OF THAT HAIRCUT.
480
00:19:23,362 --> 00:19:25,595
HEY, HEY, HEY!
481
00:19:25,597 --> 00:19:27,665
AT LEAST
DON TOOK SOME ACTION.
482
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,333
YEAH. HE BLEW
ALL MY HARD WORK.
483
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:33,003
I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE
I WAS EVER ATTRACTED TO YOU.
484
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,004
HUH?
485
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,005
YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
486
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,274
YOU MAY BE A BIG TIME
STATE COP,
487
00:19:37,276 --> 00:19:40,110
AND YOU MAY BE GORGEOUS
AND GET HIGH PROFILE CASES
488
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:41,478
AND MAKE A LOT OF MONEY,
489
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:45,282
BUT YOU GOT NOTHIN'
ON MY DONNY!
490
00:19:45,284 --> 00:19:46,417
THANKS, SALLY.
491
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:48,018
THAT WASN'T
EMASCULATING AT ALL.
492
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,186
YOU'RE WELCOME.
493
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,188
BUNCH OF YOKELS.
494
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,489
I'M OUTTA HERE.
495
00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:53,723
WHAT'S A YOKEL?
496
00:19:53,725 --> 00:19:55,459
I DON'T KNOW.
SOME KIND OF COP TALK.
497
00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:56,460
PROBABLY MEANS BRAVE.
498
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:57,394
YEAH.
499
00:19:58,797 --> 00:20:00,464
WERE YOU REALLY
ATTRACTED TO HIM?
500
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:03,834
I THOUGHT I WAS.
501
00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:06,470
BUT, DON...
502
00:20:06,472 --> 00:20:08,272
YOU--
503
00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:13,778
YOU HAD THE GUTS
TO RISK HARRY'S LIFE.
504
00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:17,081
NOTHING MAKES ME HOTTER
THAN A MAN OF ACTION.
505
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:18,583
I'LL SHOW YOU
SOME ACTION.
506
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:21,719
OH, YEAH. ORDER ME AROUND,
YOU FUNKY SMALL TOWN COP.
507
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:22,786
GET IN THERE!
508
00:20:22,788 --> 00:20:25,156
WAAH! NO! AAH!
509
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:30,327
IT'S FUNNY. WHEN
YOUNG PEOPLE GET ROWDY
510
00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:31,528
AND DANCE IN A BAR,
511
00:20:31,530 --> 00:20:33,663
EVERYBODY SAYS
THEY'RE JUST HAVING FUN.
512
00:20:33,665 --> 00:20:37,467
BUT WHEN AN ADULT DOES IT,
THEY SAY, AND I QUOTE,
513
00:20:37,469 --> 00:20:38,802
"QUICK, CALL AN AMBULANCE!
514
00:20:38,804 --> 00:20:41,605
SOME CREEPY OLD MAN IS
HAVING A SEIZURE IN HERE!"
515
00:20:41,607 --> 00:20:44,108
I DON'T KNOW. I THINK
YOUTH IS OVERRATED.
516
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:45,643
GREASY HAIR
AND PIMPLES,
517
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:47,244
CONSTANTLY HAVING
TO COVER YOUR LAP
518
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,712
WITH A 3-RING BINDER.
519
00:20:48,714 --> 00:20:50,347
YEAH, BUT WITHOUT
YOUNG PEOPLE,
520
00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:51,414
WE WOULDN'T HAVE
THE YOUNG GUNS
521
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:52,582
MOVIE FRANCHISE.
522
00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:54,451
OR THE YOUNG
AND THE RESTLESS!
523
00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:57,054
OR THE NOTED PSYCHOLOGIST
CARL JUNG.
524
00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:58,455
NO, THAT'S WITH A "J."
IT DOESN'T COUNT.
525
00:20:58,457 --> 00:20:59,456
IT HAS TO.
IT'S A HOMONYM.
526
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:00,891
HOMONYMS
DON'T COUNT!