1 00:00:00,534 --> 00:00:01,768 [theme music] 2 00:00:01,869 --> 00:00:04,638 ANNOUNCER: From New York City, the only city in America, 3 00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:07,474 it's the show that invented news. 4 00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:12,679 This is The Daily Show with your host, Leslie Jones. 5 00:00:12,779 --> 00:00:19,786 [cheering] 6 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:27,861 Yes! 7 00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:30,797 Hi! 8 00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:34,735 What's going on, everybody? 9 00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:37,671 Yes! 10 00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:40,274 Welcome to The Daily Show. 11 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:41,275 I'm Leslie Jones. 12 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,342 That's right. 13 00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:45,445 They let me come back for another night. 14 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:46,980 So let's go! 15 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:52,920 [cheering] 16 00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:54,188 All right. 17 00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:57,024 You guys on TikTok, right? 18 00:00:57,124 --> 00:00:58,725 Well, I got bad news. 19 00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:00,060 Because if you're on TikTok, you've 20 00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:02,429 got to drop out of college. 21 00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:04,898 Because universities across the country 22 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,634 are banning TikTok from school Wi-Fi 23 00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:13,140 because they're worried that China might be spying on them. 24 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,141 Yeah. 25 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:15,142 And you know what? 26 00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:17,811 Good. 27 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,446 Get these kids off TikTok. 28 00:01:19,546 --> 00:01:21,715 I'm tired of seeing little Ashley's 29 00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:25,986 amazing hack for how to flip grilled cheese in a pan. 30 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:32,960 [applause] 31 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:37,598 You don't think I know how to flip a pan, bitch, 32 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,099 or make grilled cheese? 33 00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:41,802 I've been flipping pans and making grilled cheese 34 00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:45,105 since before you were born! 35 00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:46,874 So don't talk to me like I'm stupid. 36 00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:49,977 You're stupid! 37 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:53,914 Stupid 24-year-old with your dewy [bleep] and skin. 38 00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:55,182 [laughter] 39 00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:56,884 [bleep] you and your youth. 40 00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:57,885 OK. 41 00:01:57,985 --> 00:01:59,319 Well, OK, I think I got off subject. 42 00:01:59,419 --> 00:02:01,622 I'm sorry. 43 00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:04,591 Next up, the TSA announced that they 44 00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:10,063 seized record numbers of guns at airport checkpoints 45 00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:11,532 last year. 46 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,934 And let me tell you something. 47 00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:17,237 If I'm bringing a gun through checkpoint, 48 00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:20,073 you ain't taking it from me. 49 00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:24,478 Because I got a gun! 50 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,246 But, honestly, I think this makes 51 00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:28,182 it more interesting for TSA people 52 00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:29,950 because you know they get bored. 53 00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:32,753 And they're probably happy when they actually find a gun. 54 00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:37,824 You know? 55 00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:44,932 Dildo, dildo, dildo, two dildos. 56 00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:48,902 Oh. 57 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,103 Oh, a AK! 58 00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:52,472 We got a AK! 59 00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:53,941 It's happening, guys! 60 00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:55,442 It's happening! 61 00:02:55,542 --> 00:02:58,445 Confiscate that gun! 62 00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:00,214 Yeah, and get the dildo too. 63 00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:01,215 I think he had a dildo. 64 00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:03,050 Ooh, you a nasty terrorist! 65 00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:06,320 [laughter] 66 00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:11,525 [cheering] 67 00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,227 Woo. 68 00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:18,465 Moving on, y'all know who George Santos is, right? 69 00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:21,735 With his creepy ass. 70 00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:23,904 If y'all don't know who he is, he's the new 71 00:03:24,071 --> 00:03:27,074 Republican Congressman who we found out 72 00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:29,543 lied about his entire life. 73 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:32,246 He made up a whole career as a businessman. 74 00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:34,615 He made up that his family was Jewish 75 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:38,185 and his mom was a victim of 9/11. 76 00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:39,620 Ew. 77 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,255 Ew. 78 00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:45,926 Do you know how much you have to lie to be known 79 00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:48,095 as the lying Congressman? 80 00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:50,931 [laughter] 81 00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:54,801 [cheering] 82 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:59,740 I mean, all these [bleep] do is lie all day. 83 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,709 But when you ask them, who is the liar, 84 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:08,415 they're like, this guy. 85 00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:10,517 Wait till you hear about this shit he did. 86 00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:12,553 Representative George Santos has allegedly 87 00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:16,056 stolen $3,000 in donations from a disabled homeless 88 00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:17,824 veteran's dying service dog. 89 00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:21,094 Santos allegedly used an alias to con the veteran 90 00:04:21,195 --> 00:04:23,430 and set up a GoFundMe page that would be deleted 91 00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,065 as soon as it hit its goal. 92 00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:28,402 And then Santos disappeared altogether. 93 00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:31,839 [groaning] 94 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:33,173 Exactly. 95 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,576 So you telling me this man didn't 96 00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:39,346 steal $3,000 from a dog. 97 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:42,883 He didn't just steal from a service dog. 98 00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:46,620 He didn't just steal from a dying service dog. 99 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:50,390 He stole from a disabled homeless 100 00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:57,097 veteran's dying service dog! 101 00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:59,833 Oh, my god! 102 00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:01,768 You evil and stupid. 103 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:04,271 [laughter] 104 00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:06,406 You gonna mess with somebody's dog. 105 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:10,577 Have you not heard of John Wick? 106 00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:13,113 Your ass is in trouble, trouble! 107 00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:15,649 [applause] 108 00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:18,418 Mess with no veteran's dog. 109 00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:19,953 You know what's so crazy? 110 00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:21,255 This guy is so evil. 111 00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:22,656 I wonder if they put him in there 112 00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,558 on purpose so I can't pay attention 113 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,560 to the other evil people. 114 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:29,463 Anybody got any eyes on Marjorie Taylor Greene? 115 00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:31,131 What's up with that bitch? 116 00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:33,767 What is that bitch up to? 117 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:36,503 She probably got Garfield tied up in her office. 118 00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:39,773 [laughter] 119 00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:40,774 I'm serious. 120 00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:43,076 Like, what does this man have to do 121 00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:45,412 to get thrown out of Congress? 122 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,481 He's a [bleep] liar. 123 00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,449 Black people don't get believed when 124 00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,318 they actually tell the truth. 125 00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:54,087 Barack Obama was like, hey, I was born in America. 126 00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:55,322 And people were like, bullshit! 127 00:05:55,422 --> 00:05:57,291 Where's your birth certificate? 128 00:05:57,391 --> 00:06:00,928 And this guy was like, I was a millionaire Jewish 129 00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:03,030 volleyball star. 130 00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:09,937 And y'all like, hell yeah, put him in Congress! 131 00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:16,643 Sick of your shit. 132 00:06:16,743 --> 00:06:20,480 And, finally, I don't know if y'all been 133 00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,449 eating breakfast lately. 134 00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:25,352 But breakfast is in trouble, son. 135 00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:26,820 The latest economic numbers show 136 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:30,457 inflation is slowing down, but not for people who buy eggs. 137 00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,192 The average price for a dozen of eggs 138 00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:34,161 has more than doubled over the past year. 139 00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:35,596 Shortages around the country are 140 00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:37,264 hurting producers and putting more stress 141 00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:38,765 on consumers and businesses. 142 00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:40,167 Why is there a shortage right now? 143 00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:41,168 What's going on? 144 00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:42,669 Well, I'm sure you heard there 145 00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:44,304 is a bird flu in the Midwest. 146 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,807 REPORTER: At Egg Tuck, a breakfast spot in Los Angeles 147 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:49,543 that goes through up to 6,000 eggs a week, 148 00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:51,211 costs have quadrupled. 149 00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:52,346 And they're feeling it. 150 00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:54,381 All of our courses are made with eggs 151 00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:56,083 REPORTER: Meanwhile, the line of cars 152 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:58,452 is about 30 minutes long at Billy's Egg 153 00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:00,053 Farm in Southern California. 154 00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:03,557 And workers are scrambling to meet demand. 155 00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:04,558 What? 156 00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:05,893 Wait a minute. 157 00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:12,566 [laughter] 158 00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:16,436 Bitch, why you buying so many eggs? 159 00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:18,272 But, yeah, there's an egg shortage 160 00:07:18,372 --> 00:07:20,073 right now because a ton of chickens 161 00:07:20,174 --> 00:07:24,311 got bird flu, which isn't surprising, you know? 162 00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:28,949 Because chickens are freaky, little disgusting creatures. 163 00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:32,886 And, god, how I love to eat what they shit out they 164 00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:39,526 bird pussies early in the morning. 165 00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:46,800 [cheering] 166 00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:47,801 Oh! 167 00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:51,605 Oh, I got to say bird pussies on air! 168 00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,540 [cheering] 169 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,910 I love it. 170 00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:59,079 [laughs] But this is serious now. 171 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:02,015 This is serious because people need eggs so badly. 172 00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:09,089 I think the chickens are going to start getting real cocky. 173 00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:15,762 What's up, bitch? 174 00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:18,232 You want these eggs? 175 00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:20,734 What you going to do for me? 176 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,603 I'm going to tell you what I want. 177 00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:25,138 I want a new barn. 178 00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:27,474 I want an assistant. 179 00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:33,413 I want to fly business class and an extra large flat screen 180 00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:36,116 and a PS5. 181 00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,051 And one more thing-- 182 00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:40,921 sell Sally to Popeyes. 183 00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:43,724 [laughter] 184 00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:46,793 Bye, bitch. 185 00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:50,597 [applause] 186 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,499 All right. 187 00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:55,335 All right, for more on this egg story, 188 00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:58,639 let's now go to a man who deserves to be 189 00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:00,774 knee deep in chicken shit. 190 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,709 Y'all give it up for Michael Kosta. 191 00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:03,844 OK, yeah. 192 00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:06,146 [cheering] 193 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:07,581 Hi, Leslie. 194 00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,283 It's great to see you again. 195 00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:10,851 No, it ain't. 196 00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:12,219 OK, I see. 197 00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:14,521 Just so everybody knows, Leslie and I have a bit of history. 198 00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:15,689 But don't worry. 199 00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:17,024 We're going to be totally professional. 200 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,725 I ain't about to be shit. 201 00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:21,295 I ain't gonna be professional or nothing! 202 00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,197 You should have been professional when 203 00:09:23,297 --> 00:09:25,032 you was dating my homegirl. 204 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,033 OK, Leslie-- 205 00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:27,568 Leslie, love is complicated. 206 00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:29,570 And I'd rather not share the details 207 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,538 of such a private matter, OK? 208 00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:33,874 But, ultimately, relationships do end. 209 00:09:34,041 --> 00:09:35,142 So now the eggs-- 210 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,878 Don't try to weasel yourself out of this. 211 00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:38,946 Don't do that. 212 00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:40,047 Don't do that. 213 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,348 Leslie, I don't know what she told you, 214 00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:44,051 but she cheated on me three times. 215 00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:47,054 Oh, and that's the reason not to call her back? 216 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,056 [laughter] 217 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:52,526 Be a man, not chicken shit, Kosta! 218 00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:54,061 OK. All right. 219 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,128 OK. 220 00:09:55,229 --> 00:09:58,065 So now the egg shortage, it's actually the result 221 00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:59,199 of the avian bird flu. 222 00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:00,200 And that-- 223 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,602 I don't give a [bleep] about that. 224 00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,136 OK. 225 00:10:03,237 --> 00:10:06,540 What you did was wrong, Kosta. 226 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:12,012 Leslie, you don't know this, but she gave me chlamydia. 227 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,514 Yeah, I do know that. 228 00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:16,483 And people have done worse, Kosta. 229 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:18,285 It's cureable, OK? 230 00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:22,689 Just get you some penicinna-- peli-- penic-- 231 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:25,092 the shit that gets rid of that shit. 232 00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:26,527 [laughter] 233 00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:27,528 OK. 234 00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:30,430 And move on with the romance. 235 00:10:30,531 --> 00:10:32,332 Don't Be ghosting my girl. 236 00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:33,400 That ain't cool. 237 00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,936 OK, let's just talk about the eggs, OK? 238 00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:38,505 Because as I was saying, the shortage is severe. 239 00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:40,941 But if you look closely, you'll find that it's 240 00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:45,379 not all it's cracked up to be. 241 00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:48,148 [laughter] 242 00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:51,752 You so [bleep] corny, Kosta. 243 00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:53,654 You know she was going to break up with you because you 244 00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:55,055 a corny mother-[bleep], right? 245 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,456 You know that, right? 246 00:10:56,557 --> 00:10:58,959 Look, look, I'm trying to be a good sport here. 247 00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,828 I came all the way out here to this farm that you sent me to. 248 00:11:01,929 --> 00:11:03,864 I got feathers all over my suit. 249 00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:05,265 It stinks. - You know what? 250 00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:06,266 You know what? 251 00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:07,501 I'll tell you what stinks. 252 00:11:07,601 --> 00:11:10,170 My girl had to go to therapy after you. 253 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:13,974 Yeah, because she has multiple personality disorder. 254 00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:16,076 Yeah, that's what we loved about her. 255 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,711 She's like 10 friends in one. 256 00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:20,080 [laughter] 257 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,916 [applause] 258 00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:26,720 Be a real [bleep] man and [bleep] 10 bitches, Kosta! 259 00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,856 [stammers] OK. 260 00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:31,558 [cheering] 261 00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:33,660 I handled it the best I could. 262 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,229 I don't know why you care about this so much. 263 00:11:35,329 --> 00:11:37,464 Why don't we talk about it off air if you're so upset? 264 00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:40,200 Can we just focus on the news? 265 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:41,535 Yeah, I'm talking to his bitch ass 266 00:11:41,635 --> 00:11:45,572 right now, looking at those lying eyes of him. 267 00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:46,940 Mm-hmm, he ain't shit. 268 00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:48,775 Mm-hmm. 269 00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:49,843 You know what? That's right. 270 00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:50,844 I'mma bring that up. 271 00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:51,845 I'mma bring that up. 272 00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:52,946 OK, hold on. 273 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:53,947 You know what, Kosta? 274 00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:55,015 You know what? 275 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:57,184 You didn't even visit her in the lockup 276 00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:58,719 after she stabbed your ass. 277 00:11:58,819 --> 00:11:59,753 That's [bleep] up. 278 00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:01,955 That's [bleep]. 279 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:06,093 Leslie, for the last time, what do you want from me? 280 00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:07,327 I want you to say you sorry. 281 00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:09,363 I want you to apologize to my homegirl. 282 00:12:09,463 --> 00:12:12,199 OK, all right, OK. 283 00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:14,935 Leslie, from the bottom of my heart-- 284 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:15,936 Man, [bleep]. 285 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:16,970 You ain't got no damn heart. 286 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:22,409 [applause] 287 00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:24,578 Want to hear that shit. 288 00:12:24,678 --> 00:12:27,748 And I hope a chicken shits in your shoes. 289 00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:29,416 Y'all give it up for Michael Kosta. 290 00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:36,423 [cheering] 291 00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:40,260 All right, when we come back, Roy Wood, Jr. 292 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:41,361 visits the White House. 293 00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:42,729 So don't go away. 294 00:12:42,829 --> 00:12:46,466 [cheering] 295 00:12:56,909 --> 00:13:03,349 [applause] 296 00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:09,989 Welcome back to The Daily Show. 297 00:13:10,089 --> 00:13:12,892 Have you ever wondered what happens when a championship 298 00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:14,827 team visits the White House? 299 00:13:14,927 --> 00:13:19,231 Well, so did Roy Wood Jr. Let's go check it out. 300 00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:21,367 ROY WOOD JR: In American pro sports, if your team wins 301 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,569 the championship, you get to go to the White House, 302 00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:26,339 enjoy a five star meal, and hand the president 303 00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:27,773 a jersey he'll never wear. 304 00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:30,209 I got to attend this year's event with the Golden State 305 00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:33,179 Warriors to celebrate their NBA championship, 306 00:13:33,279 --> 00:13:35,948 something they didn't get to do the last two times they won. 307 00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:37,950 Let me just say that the Golden 308 00:13:38,050 --> 00:13:41,220 State Warriors are always welcome in this White House. 309 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,022 Always. 310 00:13:43,122 --> 00:13:47,059 ROY WOOD JR: To find out why, I asked the man, 46, himself. 311 00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,494 How you doing, Mr. President? - I'm doing well. 312 00:13:48,594 --> 00:13:49,495 How you doing? 313 00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:50,896 Now quick question, Mr. President. 314 00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:54,700 The Warriors won in 2017 and 2018. 315 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:55,801 Why didn't they come to the White 316 00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:57,169 House those other two times? 317 00:13:57,269 --> 00:13:58,671 Well, you have to ask the other guy, 318 00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:01,073 but he doesn't work here anymore. 319 00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:02,508 New boss, new rules. All right. 320 00:14:02,541 --> 00:14:03,509 Well, thank you. 321 00:14:03,542 --> 00:14:04,844 Well, mystery solved. 322 00:14:04,944 --> 00:14:06,946 Time to talk with some basketball players. 323 00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:09,215 Why are athletes invited to the White House? 324 00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:12,251 Sports in general brings, like, so many people together. 325 00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:13,919 And I think basketball especially, like, we're 326 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,388 very visible and whatnot. 327 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:17,523 So when you win a championship and you get invited here, 328 00:14:17,556 --> 00:14:20,893 we all can leverage our platform to, you know, 329 00:14:20,993 --> 00:14:24,196 change the game in a way that will 330 00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:25,564 be bigger than basketball. 331 00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:26,999 And I think this is a great moment 332 00:14:27,099 --> 00:14:28,267 to reflect on all of that. 333 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,136 Do you think it's fair that only the Warriors 334 00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:33,272 were invited, and not the other 29 teams that y'all whooped? 335 00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:34,540 Hell no. 336 00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:35,541 What about inclusion? 337 00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:36,642 It's about us. 338 00:14:36,742 --> 00:14:39,545 No, everybody was included in the 82 games, 339 00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:41,380 but that's where the inclusion stops. 340 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:43,215 Do you think events like this where teams are invited 341 00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:46,452 to the White House create opportunities for conversation 342 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,354 about real issues? 343 00:14:48,454 --> 00:14:49,622 They actually do. 344 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:53,793 I actually took part in a panel before our ceremony 345 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,896 with the president and the vice president on gun safety 346 00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:58,631 and gun violence issues. 347 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:01,901 We get to go see the president, see the White House, 348 00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:05,838 but also actually kind of take part in some real discussions. 349 00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:09,375 What is one rule that you would have the president 350 00:15:09,508 --> 00:15:10,409 change in the NBA? 351 00:15:10,509 --> 00:15:11,410 One rule? 352 00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:12,578 No techs. 353 00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:13,746 That's an easy one for me. 354 00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:15,748 No technical fouls. 355 00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:16,749 You can't go no techs. 356 00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:17,750 No, you can. 357 00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:19,018 Three techs? 358 00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:20,019 No. 359 00:15:20,119 --> 00:15:22,288 Why three? 360 00:15:22,388 --> 00:15:23,789 Three-- four techs. 361 00:15:23,889 --> 00:15:25,625 It's a person deciding that you 362 00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:28,894 deserve a tech because they didn't like something you did. 363 00:15:28,995 --> 00:15:29,962 You right. 364 00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:30,963 Better crib. 365 00:15:31,063 --> 00:15:33,599 Your crib of the White House. 366 00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:34,700 My crib-- 367 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:35,868 I like my crib better. 368 00:15:35,968 --> 00:15:38,004 I have-- my crib got a kitchen I got access to. 369 00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,138 I don't even know where where they 370 00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:40,139 keep the food at over here. 371 00:15:40,239 --> 00:15:41,240 I know. 372 00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:43,309 I've been looking for a sandwich all day. 373 00:15:43,409 --> 00:15:44,677 You got all these people, but I can't-- 374 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,112 I'm so hungry, dog. 375 00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:47,747 - Where are they? - The chef's are-- 376 00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:48,748 I just want a snack machine. 377 00:15:48,848 --> 00:15:49,949 That's all I'm saying. 378 00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:51,684 Well, the Biden-Harris administration understands 379 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:54,553 the challenge that higher education has been for so many 380 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:55,721 people across the country. 381 00:15:55,821 --> 00:15:59,625 So 40 million people are eligible, in our opinion, 382 00:15:59,725 --> 00:16:00,926 for debt relief. 383 00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:02,261 We're working on loan forgiveness. 384 00:16:02,361 --> 00:16:04,764 We've forgiven over $48 billion, with a B, 385 00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:06,666 to make sure that people have access to higher education. 386 00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:07,767 And we're not stopping. 387 00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:10,136 Secretary of Education, you know the people 388 00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:12,038 that be forgiving the loans. 389 00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:14,840 OK, OK, can you take care of my student loan? 390 00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:16,042 [laughs] 391 00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,143 ROY WOOD JR (VOICEOVER): I guess players showing up 392 00:16:17,243 --> 00:16:18,377 to the White House does help draw attention 393 00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:20,046 to the important issues, but how 394 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,380 are we going to elevate these cabinet 395 00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:22,848 members to sports stardom? 396 00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:24,183 Roy Wood Jr, Daily Show. 397 00:16:24,283 --> 00:16:26,252 When championship teams visit the White House, 398 00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:28,020 the president gets a jersey, but no one else. 399 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:29,021 Are you jealous? 400 00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:30,022 No, I'm not jealous. 401 00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:31,724 Of course the president gets a jersey. 402 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:32,725 You know what? 403 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,994 I made you a jersey. 404 00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:35,995 That's for you. 405 00:16:36,095 --> 00:16:37,396 KARINE JEAN-PIERRE: Oh, wow. 406 00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:38,397 That's something. 407 00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:39,632 Where'd you get it from? 408 00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:41,000 Oh, my cousin stole it. 409 00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:42,702 He works at a t-shirt shop. 410 00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:45,137 Well, thank you I appreciate it, Roy. 411 00:16:45,237 --> 00:16:47,206 ROY WOOD JR (VOICEOVER): They loved my jersey idea. 412 00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:48,541 You know, I have an eight-year-old 413 00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:50,543 who can do that, too. 414 00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,178 ROY WOOD JR (VOICEOVER): So I gave out some more, 415 00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:54,447 then started hooping with some Oakland rappers. 416 00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:57,350 Man, I need to come back next year as a player. 417 00:16:57,483 --> 00:16:58,918 - Good to meet you, Coach Kerr. - You, too. 418 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,152 Hey, I used to play rec league. 419 00:17:00,252 --> 00:17:03,255 If you need another two guards, just let me know. 420 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:04,724 Yeah. 421 00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:05,725 Yeah. 422 00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,026 Do you have a card, or-- 423 00:17:07,126 --> 00:17:08,794 I'll just call you. 424 00:17:08,894 --> 00:17:11,330 We're taking you down for a general meeting now. 425 00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:13,366 He ain't gonna call. 426 00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:14,367 [applause] 427 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:15,835 Thank you, Roy. 428 00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:19,138 All right, stay tuned because when we come back, 429 00:17:19,238 --> 00:17:20,906 I'll be talking to the president 430 00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:22,541 of the Planned Parenthood. 431 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:23,643 So don't go away. 432 00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:24,644 We coming back. 433 00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:27,813 [applause] 434 00:17:38,523 --> 00:17:44,963 [cheering] 435 00:17:45,964 --> 00:17:49,634 Welcome back to The Daily Show! 436 00:17:49,734 --> 00:17:53,071 Every year, more than 600 Planned Parenthood health 437 00:17:53,171 --> 00:17:56,074 centers nationwide provide health care services 438 00:17:56,174 --> 00:17:57,943 to millions of patients. 439 00:17:58,043 --> 00:18:01,079 My guest tonight is the president and the CEO 440 00:18:01,179 --> 00:18:02,581 of the Planned Parenthood. 441 00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:06,451 Please, welcome Alexis McGill Johnson. 442 00:18:06,551 --> 00:18:09,421 [cheering] 443 00:18:09,521 --> 00:18:10,889 Girls! 444 00:18:10,989 --> 00:18:13,391 Girls, go! 445 00:18:13,491 --> 00:18:14,392 What's going on? 446 00:18:14,492 --> 00:18:15,393 Good. 447 00:18:15,493 --> 00:18:16,861 How You doing, baby? 448 00:18:16,962 --> 00:18:18,129 Oh my god, you look so beautiful. 449 00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:22,267 Thank you. 450 00:18:22,367 --> 00:18:23,268 LESLIE JONES: Oh, yeah! 451 00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:24,736 ALEXIS MCGILL JOHNSON: What? 452 00:18:24,836 --> 00:18:28,607 Woo-wee! 453 00:18:28,707 --> 00:18:30,976 I'm so glad they saw how good you look. 454 00:18:31,076 --> 00:18:33,311 They think all of us look crazy to want to be fighting for, 455 00:18:33,411 --> 00:18:34,679 you know? 456 00:18:34,779 --> 00:18:39,217 Let me tell you how important Planned Parenthood is to me. 457 00:18:39,317 --> 00:18:43,655 It's just one of the most important things in my life. 458 00:18:43,755 --> 00:18:46,491 You know, I have my parents in 17-- 459 00:18:46,591 --> 00:18:47,626 I have my mom. 460 00:18:47,726 --> 00:18:50,128 And Planned Parenthood taught me everything. 461 00:18:50,228 --> 00:18:51,229 And that's real talk. 462 00:18:51,329 --> 00:18:52,998 And I'm pretty sure that you guys have 463 00:18:53,131 --> 00:18:55,133 done that for a lot of girls. 464 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,502 So if you listen to the people on the right, 465 00:18:57,602 --> 00:18:58,870 they think that Planned Parenthood 466 00:18:58,970 --> 00:19:00,138 is an abortion factory. 467 00:19:00,238 --> 00:19:02,440 Like, that's like back-to-back abortions 468 00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:03,508 with a side of fries. 469 00:19:03,608 --> 00:19:04,542 You know what I'm saying? 470 00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:07,178 What I want to get clear here today is, 471 00:19:07,279 --> 00:19:11,683 what are the actual services of Planned Parenthood? 472 00:19:11,783 --> 00:19:13,952 Well, thank you, Leslie, for asking me that question. 473 00:19:14,052 --> 00:19:16,154 And thank you for sharing how important Planned Parenthood 474 00:19:16,187 --> 00:19:18,490 has been for you because that has been the story for so 475 00:19:18,590 --> 00:19:19,958 many people in their lives. 476 00:19:20,058 --> 00:19:22,360 Planned Parenthood really represents 477 00:19:22,460 --> 00:19:23,361 reproductive freedom. 478 00:19:23,461 --> 00:19:25,230 We sell freedom and agency. 479 00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:27,165 It means that when you walk into a Planned Parenthood 480 00:19:27,198 --> 00:19:29,868 health center, you may be coming for birth control, STI 481 00:19:29,968 --> 00:19:32,470 testing, cervical cancer screenings, 482 00:19:32,571 --> 00:19:34,839 breast cancer screenings, gender-affirming care. 483 00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:37,175 And, yes, we proudly provide abortion because that 484 00:19:37,242 --> 00:19:38,543 is also part of health care. 485 00:19:38,643 --> 00:19:39,911 That is the work that we do. 486 00:19:40,011 --> 00:19:42,380 [cheering] 487 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:48,286 That's what we do. 488 00:19:48,386 --> 00:19:49,754 That's what I'm talking about. 489 00:19:49,854 --> 00:19:50,755 Yes. 490 00:19:50,855 --> 00:19:52,224 Yes! 491 00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:53,225 Yes. 492 00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:55,427 And I don't think people realize 493 00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:59,130 that men can go to Planned Parenthood for services too. 494 00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:00,799 And they should. 495 00:20:00,899 --> 00:20:03,134 I think when men hear parenthood, 496 00:20:03,168 --> 00:20:04,202 they just start running. 497 00:20:04,302 --> 00:20:05,670 [laughs] 498 00:20:05,770 --> 00:20:08,340 Tell me the services that you provide 499 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,375 for people with penises. 500 00:20:10,475 --> 00:20:12,010 [laughter] 501 00:20:12,143 --> 00:20:14,145 Yes, men are, like, one of the fastest 502 00:20:14,212 --> 00:20:15,914 growing demographics at Planned Parenthood. 503 00:20:16,014 --> 00:20:17,616 They come for the same set of services. 504 00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,451 They come to get access to condoms. 505 00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:21,286 They come to get access to STI screenings. 506 00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:23,722 They come for vasectomies increasingly after the Dobbs 507 00:20:23,822 --> 00:20:24,723 decision, right? 508 00:20:24,823 --> 00:20:25,824 They are coming in. 509 00:20:25,924 --> 00:20:30,161 [applause] 510 00:20:30,195 --> 00:20:31,263 I don't know. 511 00:20:31,363 --> 00:20:32,764 I mean, maybe we need to market it. 512 00:20:32,864 --> 00:20:33,765 You know what I'm saying? 513 00:20:33,865 --> 00:20:35,600 Maybe we need to have a better market. 514 00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:37,502 Like, we treat the meat, you know? 515 00:20:37,602 --> 00:20:40,538 [laughter] 516 00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:42,007 You know what I'm saying? 517 00:20:42,107 --> 00:20:44,476 Planned Parenthood-- Planned Parenthood 518 00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:45,911 presents the dick fixers. 519 00:20:46,011 --> 00:20:50,382 You know what I'm saying? 520 00:20:50,482 --> 00:20:51,416 We do that too. 521 00:20:51,516 --> 00:20:53,418 [laughter] 522 00:20:53,518 --> 00:20:56,554 But, like, do you think men are embarrassed about what 523 00:20:56,655 --> 00:20:57,622 they need to come in for? 524 00:20:57,722 --> 00:20:58,990 Because let me tell you something, men. 525 00:20:59,124 --> 00:21:01,126 It's important that men get checked out. 526 00:21:01,226 --> 00:21:03,361 Their sexual health affects their wives, 527 00:21:03,461 --> 00:21:05,564 partners, and girlfriends too. 528 00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:09,000 Roe versus Wade was overturned seven months ago. 529 00:21:09,134 --> 00:21:12,170 And it's important for men to come in also. 530 00:21:12,270 --> 00:21:13,572 Tell them, please, how important it is. 531 00:21:13,672 --> 00:21:14,873 Yeah, it is so critical. 532 00:21:14,973 --> 00:21:16,841 I mean, first of all, stigma around sexual reproductive 533 00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,710 health care affects everybody. So it does affect men. 534 00:21:18,810 --> 00:21:19,911 They may not talk about it, but they 535 00:21:20,011 --> 00:21:21,346 are certainly coming to Planned Parenthood 536 00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:22,747 to get it checked out, right? 537 00:21:22,847 --> 00:21:24,749 I mean, they see something. 538 00:21:24,849 --> 00:21:25,817 They need to say something. 539 00:21:25,917 --> 00:21:27,652 They need to come in and make sure-- 540 00:21:27,752 --> 00:21:29,888 Exactly, you see something-- say something. 541 00:21:29,988 --> 00:21:31,656 But they are being affected. 542 00:21:31,756 --> 00:21:35,227 [applause] 543 00:21:35,327 --> 00:21:37,062 But they are really being affected 544 00:21:37,162 --> 00:21:39,097 by this Dobbs decision, right? 545 00:21:39,130 --> 00:21:41,900 Because, I mean, on the other side of every single abortion, 546 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,003 every choice that someone makes to not continue a pregnancy, 547 00:21:45,103 --> 00:21:47,672 we are also seeing the impact on miscarriage management. 548 00:21:47,772 --> 00:21:49,808 We're also seeing the impact on their wives, 549 00:21:49,908 --> 00:21:52,110 on their daughters, on their sisters, on their workers, 550 00:21:52,143 --> 00:21:53,144 on their coworkers. 551 00:21:53,245 --> 00:21:55,580 And so men, I would say, actually are showing 552 00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:57,182 up in a much stronger way. 553 00:21:57,282 --> 00:21:59,317 There's a lot of them out there freestyling because they still 554 00:21:59,417 --> 00:22:01,253 don't know how our bodies work, how our periods work, 555 00:22:01,353 --> 00:22:02,387 how our pregnancies work. 556 00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:04,122 But there are a lot of men who are showing up. 557 00:22:04,155 --> 00:22:05,457 And I think it is really important 558 00:22:05,557 --> 00:22:08,927 to give them the energy to continue to do that. 559 00:22:09,027 --> 00:22:09,928 Yes. 560 00:22:10,028 --> 00:22:10,929 Yes. 561 00:22:11,029 --> 00:22:15,834 [applause] 562 00:22:15,934 --> 00:22:17,168 How do we combat that? 563 00:22:17,269 --> 00:22:19,604 Like, this thing about our rights 564 00:22:19,704 --> 00:22:22,407 and everything, how we keep these 565 00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:23,441 mother-[bleep] out of pussy? 566 00:22:23,541 --> 00:22:28,380 Well-- well, I mean, first of all, 567 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:32,217 we have to be clear that the Supreme Court made a decision, 568 00:22:32,317 --> 00:22:33,952 but the Supreme Court doesn't get the last word. 569 00:22:34,052 --> 00:22:34,953 We do. OK? 570 00:22:35,053 --> 00:22:35,954 LESLIE JONES: Yes! 571 00:22:36,054 --> 00:22:38,857 [cheering] 572 00:22:38,957 --> 00:22:41,293 And we are going to need to fight 573 00:22:41,393 --> 00:22:44,129 state by state because they are coming for birth control. 574 00:22:44,229 --> 00:22:45,630 They are coming for IVF. 575 00:22:45,730 --> 00:22:48,300 They are coming-- they're literally trying to bankrupt 576 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:49,901 bankrupt us in Texas, right? 577 00:22:50,001 --> 00:22:51,102 Planned Parenthood in Texas. 578 00:22:51,202 --> 00:22:53,538 They are trying everything they can to stop people 579 00:22:53,638 --> 00:22:55,106 from getting access to care. 580 00:22:55,206 --> 00:22:58,109 But what we have in people like you 581 00:22:58,143 --> 00:23:00,545 are just passionate about freedom, 582 00:23:00,645 --> 00:23:02,280 passion about justice. 583 00:23:02,380 --> 00:23:05,884 It's an opportunity to really be a leader and a volunteer. 584 00:23:05,984 --> 00:23:06,885 Oh! 585 00:23:06,985 --> 00:23:07,886 Oh. 586 00:23:07,986 --> 00:23:08,887 [cheering] 587 00:23:08,987 --> 00:23:14,759 Oh. 588 00:23:14,859 --> 00:23:19,664 Now you know you shouldn't give me no damn bullhorn. 589 00:23:19,764 --> 00:23:22,701 I'm going to be out there on the streets going, hey, women! 590 00:23:22,801 --> 00:23:24,502 Hey, women, are you leaking? 591 00:23:24,603 --> 00:23:28,006 Come to Planned Parenthood so we can do some peeking. 592 00:23:28,139 --> 00:23:29,374 You know what I'm saying? 593 00:23:29,474 --> 00:23:33,912 [laughs] Hey, guys, come in quick so we can fix your dick. 594 00:23:34,012 --> 00:23:34,913 You know? 595 00:23:35,013 --> 00:23:36,014 [laughter] 596 00:23:36,147 --> 00:23:37,215 Yes! Yes! 597 00:23:37,315 --> 00:23:38,683 LESLIE JONES: Yes! ALEXIS MCGILL JOHNSON: Yes. 598 00:23:38,783 --> 00:23:39,684 LESLIE JONES: All right. 599 00:23:39,784 --> 00:23:40,819 We're going to take a quick break, 600 00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:43,521 but we'll be right back after this! 601 00:23:43,622 --> 00:23:47,292 [cheering] 602 00:23:54,866 --> 00:23:55,634 [cheering] 603 00:23:55,734 --> 00:24:00,005 Hey! 604 00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:02,407 Yes! 605 00:24:02,507 --> 00:24:04,976 Well, that's our show for tonight. 606 00:24:05,076 --> 00:24:07,479 But before we go, Planned Parenthood 607 00:24:07,579 --> 00:24:10,115 is an irreplaceable part of this country's 608 00:24:10,215 --> 00:24:11,449 health care system. 609 00:24:11,549 --> 00:24:14,519 For many people, it's their only source of health care. 610 00:24:14,619 --> 00:24:17,088 If you can support them in their work, please, 611 00:24:17,188 --> 00:24:18,990 donate at the link below. 612 00:24:19,090 --> 00:24:24,029 Now here it is, your moment of zen. 613 00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:31,136 Tell you what. 614 00:24:38,076 --> 00:24:39,844 ANNOUNCER: MTV.