[theme music]
ANNOUNCER: From New York City, the only city in America,
it's the show that invented news.
This is The Daily Show with your host, Wanda Sykes.
[cheering]
Hey.
What's going on, everybody?
Welcome to The Daily Show.
I'm Wanda Sykes.
Wow.
Hey, all right.
That's enough.
Welcome to The Daily Show.
I'm Wanda Sykes, and I'll be your host this week.
Yeah, my wife asked me to load the dishwasher,
and I needed an out.
[laughter]
So I'm so happy to be here.
We've got a great show for you tonight.
We've got a lot of news to cover.
We've got my friend Mike Epps in the house.
So let's get some headlines.
[cheering]
Well, I don't know how your 2023 is going,
but it has not been going well for President Joe Biden.
Just when we were ready to move on to the next scandal,
the FBI searched his house for 13 hours on Friday.
And they found even more classified documents.
At this point, the FBI is just decluttering
Biden's house for him.
[laughter]
They're like Marie Kondo going around his rooms
like, this list of spies does not spark joy.
[laughter]
[applause]
No, but, honestly, this doesn't bother me at all.
I mean, come on.
The man has been in public office for 238 years.
I bet you most of the shit he has
isn't even classified anymore.
You read his notes, and it's like, keep
an eye on this Hitler guy.
It's just history now.
They're teaching this stuff in schools.
Well, not in Florida, but you know?
By the way, some of you might not know,
but before doing standup, I worked at NSA for seven years.
Yeah, it's true.
I had a top secret clearance and everything.
Thank me for my service, damn it.
[cheering]
So I got to say, this story has me a little concerned,
you know?
I'm sitting here thinking, damn, what is in my garage?
I put that back, right?
Yeah, yeah, I put that back.
I put that back.
But in Biden's defense, at least
he is cooperating with the FBI searches, right?
[applause]
In fact, he's been so cooperative, it makes
me wonder, like, is he hoping they do
work around the house for him?
Is Biden like, you know, fellas,
I think I have some documents up in the gutters.
You might need to clear the leaves out first.
I know Jill would love that.
She'd love that.
All right, now check this story out.
This weekend, the Church of England
announced that it will now allow its clergy
to bless same-sex marriages.
But they're still not going to allow the actual wedding
to happen in the church.
But, hey, to be honest, this is also how I feel
about any destination wedding.
I ain't going to be there, but good for y'all.
[cheering]
Not going.
OK, let's move on.
Normally, I don't find funerals funny.
[laughter]
But here's a story about a funeral
that I found hilarious because this funeral had Donald Trump.
And that guy can turn anything into a joke.
Maybe you've heard of Diamond and Silk,
those two sisters who are always--
two sisters who are always showing up at his rallies,
praising him on TV, setting the Black race back 50 years.
You know those two.
Trump held meetings with them.
He'd invite them to the Oval Office.
He would point at them and say, see, Black people love me.
Well, sadly, Diamond passed away a few days ago.
Yeah, and Silk said that she wanted Trump
to speak at the funeral because the three of them
were so close.
At least Silk thought the three of them
were close until Trump started to speak.
You know, the world has lost one of its brightest stars,
real star.
But I see that we have another star who is equal to,
but she stepped up, and she is different.
I'm serious. I thought I knew them both.
I didn't.
I knew-- I knew Diamond, but I didn't know Silk at all.
I just learned about Silk.
You're fantastic.
You're going to carry on beyond anybody's wildest imagination.
[laughter]
Oh, my god.
I mean, it's like Trump showed up to that funeral
like, Diamond's dead, but I'm going to bury Silk.
[laughter]
Oh, yeah, there's room for two in that casket.
I mean, come on.
To say you know Diamond but don't know Silk
is wild because they're always together.
That's like saying, I know Bert,
but I've never heard of this Ernie fella.
What's his deal?
[applause]
I thought Sister, Sister was just called Sister.
[laughter]
Knowing Trump, he probably only has room for one Black woman
in his brain at a time.
If he turns on the TV right now, he'll be like, wow,
Diamond's hosting The Daily Show.
[laughter]
You know, a week ago, she was dead.
But thanks to me, she's risen.
And, finally, did you guys watch the football game
last night, the 49er-Cowboys?
Yeah, well, I tuned in to see if the Dallas kicker would
keep missing extra points.
And he did.
He just kept missing them.
And it was bad, y'all, because the commentators were like,
I don't even think the coach is going to put them back
out to kick again, you know?
And I just thought of his poor family watching, you know?
His kid's sitting there.
They're not going to let daddy kick anymore?
It was awful.
But then I saw something even more horrifying.
It was an ad that was just for oil and gas--
not any particular oil or gas company,
just oil and gas in general.
Check it out.
[upbeat music] 1, 2, 3, come give me a kiss.
MAN: What if we lived in a world
without oil and natural gas?
Life would be very different because oil
and gas are part of just about everything you touch.
From the stuff you wear to the stuff in your hair
and so much more.
Our world would be unrecognizable if the products
we rely on just disappeared.
Better luck next time.
Those greedy, oily bastards.
See, this proves, y'all, we're doing
something right because they're getting nervous.
Because we're buying electric cars.
We're switching to solar energy.
And they're like--
[cheering]
And they're like, but we also make footballs.
But you know what?
I will agree with them on one thing.
If there was no oil, our world would be unrecognizable.
It would look like this.
What's-- what's all that green shit on the bottom?
Is that grass?
You know, I heard about it in history class.
I don't know.
And what's with all that shit that disappeared
into dust stuff they did, huh?
They stole that right from The Avengers.
[laughter]
That's from The Avengers.
So these guys are in the boardroom
like, oh, we need to improve our image.
Hey, everyone likes Thanos, right?
They like Thanos.
So for more on just how damaging oil is to the planet,
let's go to Michael Kosta, who is at an oil spill
down on the Gulf Coast.
Michael.
[cheering]
Wow.
Good lord, Michael, it looks horrible down there.
No, no, it doesn't.
But all those birds are covered in oil.
OK, yeah, but think about how many birds there
are in the world, you know?
Probably hundreds.
And I'm willing to let these birds suffer
if that means we can keep enjoying the miracle
liquid that is oil.
What?
Did that bullshit commercial actually convince you?
All commercials convince me.
That's why I have 15 insurance policies,
all my money's in crypto, and in the 2000s,
I was always saying, wazzup!
And this commercial made some really great points.
Without oil, we would lose so many precious products,
like hair gel or the bottle the hair gel comes in
or the chemicals I use to get the hair gel out of my hair.
And that's just my hair, Wanda.
I mean, think of how much hair is in the world,
probably hundreds.
Look, look, OK.
OK, we get it.
You got oily-ass hair.
Speaking of which, what about the damage oil's
doing to our bodies?
I mean, kids are growing up with asthma now.
OK, yeah, and the asthma keeps the kids
from smoking cigarettes.
I mean, it's actually a thank you, oil.
[laughter]
What about the planet, Michael?
It's breaking down the Great Barrier Reef.
OK, I thought we were supposed to be
breaking down barriers, right?
See, who's the feminist now?
OK, I think your hair gel is leaking into your brain.
OK, OK.
Trust me, Wanda.
My fine is brain.
My fine is very brain.
But I'll tell you what.
Let's imagine your fantasy world
without oil because all the things you would love
would be gone.
Like, see these birds covered in oil?
If oil didn't exist, they'd be gone.
Why would the birds disappear if oil didn't exist?
Wouldn't the oil on the birds just disappear?
Do you know how hard it is to get oil off of a bird?
It's easier to just get rid of the birds.
And it's less bird poop to track into my Lambo.
Check that bitch out.
Candy apple red.
You bought a Lamborghini?
Oh, yeah.
OK, all right.
Now it's all making sense.
The oil companies paid you to say this shit.
No, no, no, no.
I was paid by an organization called the Coalition of Super
Ethical Energy Providers.
Right.
And who pays them?
Wanda, who pays anyone, you know?
I don't make decisions because someone pays me.
I make decisions by taking a long, hard look in the mirror
and asking myself, wazzup?
And wazzup, Wanda, is that oil is the bedrock of our society.
And the great thing about bedrock
is you can drill into it to get more of that sweet, sweet oil.
All right, Mike.
I can play this game too.
If you're getting rid of birds, I'm getting
rid of your Lamborghini.
What?
No, come on!
Not my ghini.
That bitch was candy apple red.
Come on, Wanda.
Serves you right.
Michael Kosta, everyone.
[cheering]
All right.
When we come back, Roy Wood, Jr. asks London what they
think about America's guns.
[cheering]
[applause]
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
Over the weekend, America had yet
another mass shooting, this time
in Monterey Park, California.
Tragically, 11 people lost their lives.
And we send our thoughts and prayers to the victims,
and the ones recovering.
And sadly, that's all we do in this country.
Because it only happens here.
And why is that?
Well, we all know the answer.
But we sent Roy Wood, Jr. overseas
anyway to double-check.
ROY WOOD, JR. (VOICEOVER): A little while back, I traveled
to merry old England, a country that's
got all kinds of weapons--
swords, shields, wooden catapults, terrible massage
chairs, even magic wands.
But the one weapon you don't see is guns.
So I wanted to find out why, in my new segment,
Roy meets World.
Edward, where are you from?
Harrogate, North Yorkshire.
OK, so do you feel safer here or visiting America?
Here.
Safer here.
Why?
Do you feel safer here?
Because everybody's packing in the States.
You really don't see guns out here on a regular basis, huh?
Not really.
Even with the cops, if you--
I mean, if you're walking around
and you do see some cops, they don't have guns on them.
Why is that?
Why y'all police don't have guns?
I honestly don't know about that one.
Well, how are you going to accidentally kill
somebody you wanted to kill?
Yeah, well, that's the whole point.
You shouldn't be doing that.
So in the UK, how do you show power?
How do you show people you've got a big dick,
if you don't have a gun?
I don't try and show people that I got a big dick.
I know I've got one.
Like, I think that--
That's one way to do it.
As a woman, are you impressed by men who have big guns?
No.
We're have no use for this in Norway.
It's not common to have guns in private homes at all.
OK, so in Norway, how do men let women know
that they have a big dick?
Show it to them.
[laughs]
Can't do that in America.
That is not an option.
ROY WOOD, JR. (VOICEOVER): So they are packing.
See?
There's so much our two cultures
can learn from each other.
Why do you think Americans love guns so much?
I think it's something, like, deeply
ingrained in the culture.
Like, guns have been around for a long, long time in the US.
Like, in the UK, it's not so much of an issue,
because it's very underground.
Whereas in America, it's normalized.
You can walk into a Walmart and buy a gun.
Yes, and a pack of Skittles and some ice cream.
Yeah.
And be right back out the door.
So where are you all from?
South Africa.
Why do you think Americans love guns so much?
Probably the Constitution and just because they're crazy.
Damn!
You just hit us right out the gate.
What is America's reputation in the world?
Probably mass shootings, as bad as it sounds.
That's all we're known for?
No, not only that.
That's the main thing.
We got hot dogs.
We got Steph Curry.
Why do you think Americans love guns so much?
From an outsider's perspective,
I think they are also really proud of their military
and everything.
Well, we whooped a lot of ass.
Americans whooped a lot of ass.
You think so at least, yeah.
- Check the stats. - Yeah, OK, yeah.
Whooped the British ass.
The Civil War, we whooped our own ass.
ROY WOOD, JR. (VOICEOVER): So they didn't really know
America's record on the court.
And it turns out, guns aren't just hurting our people,
they're hurting our street cred all over the world.
I feel like the US was kind of like this beacon
that a lot of people followed.
If you look at it from the gun perspective,
some of the other topics that are going on currently,
as well, I think it is affecting
a little bit of its credibility on the global stage.
It's a problem when guns have got
more rights than women, so--
within a country.
Yeah, yeah, you right.
Is it possible that the rest of the world
is just being too hard on America and the gun violence?
We've only been around 200 years.
Yeah.
ROY WOOD, JR.: You got some growing pains.
Everybody know when you start a country,
it's going to be rough for a little while
because you just whooped somebody's ass, no disrespect.
I have little faith in the country at the moment.
Like, I've never been.
I've always wanted to visit it, but every time we
talk about it, we're like, actually, like--
The attitudes.
--I'm not sure.
ROY WOOD, JR. (VOICEOVER): So Americans
might not be Airbnb-ing their fully armed apartments
to these people any time soon, but that doesn't mean that all
of Europe is a gun-free zone.
We can take you Spitsbergen in Norway.
That's the highest density of guns
in any society in the world.
Everybody has a gun in Spitsbergen.
That's for protection for polar bears.
But they don't shoot each other.
It's just for the polar bears.
Right.
Yeah, but you have to wear a gun
if you go outside the city.
You're not allowed to go without.
Wait, it's a law that you have
to wear a gun in that part.
Yeah.
One in the party has to wear a gun to go
outside of the city limits.
To keep you from getting eaten by a polar bear.
Right.
ROY WOOD, JR. (VOICEOVER): Man, mandatory guns
to fight polar bears?
I'm canceling my trip to Oslo.
Honduras, here I come!
There's no polar bears there, right?
[cheering]
Thank you, Roy.
Don't go away, because when we come back,
Mike Epps will be joining me on the show, so stick around.
[cheering]
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
My guest tonight is an actor and comedian
who's up for an NAACP Image Award for his role
in our sitcom, The Upshaws.
Part 3 premieres globally February 16 on Netflix.
Would you please come down to the clinic
today and get looked at.
Well, you know I ain't about doctors.
They too nosy.
If my spine want to be crooked, then that's my business.
Black pain is no joke.
That's why I wear a safety support belt at work.
Man, that's a girdle.
Why do I even try?
Let's go get those waffles.
You are coming to the doctor today.
All that we've been through, that's the fanfare we get.
So you want to celebrate?
With just you?
Yeah.
Didn't they say waffles?
Please, welcome Mike Epps.
[cheering]
What's up, Wanda?
Good to see you.
Looking good, girl.
All right.
What's up, Wanda?
What's up, Mike?
You come in here smelling all good.
Yeah, I stopped at CVS and got me a little cologne.
[laughter]
So, you know, I was just in Chattanooga over the weekend.
Oh, yeah.
And I mentioned The Upshaws, and the crowd went crazy.
- They did? - Yeah.
Oh, man!
I know because--
In Chattanooga?
WANDA SYKES: In Chattanooga. I know.
That's cool.
You got to do your standup.
I was doing standup, yeah.
But the thing is, remember, before, you told me, hey,
you know, I mentioned The Upshaws,
and my crowd goes nuts.
Right.
And then I said, OK, I'll do it.
So the first season, I mentioned it to my crowd.
It was crickets.
MIKE EPPS: [laughs]
Because there was white people.
Because my audience had a lot of white people
in my audience.
So they were like, I'm sorry.
What is this thing?
Yeah, yeah.
But this time, I mentioned it,
and, like, half the audience went nuts.
So we're growing man.
Yeah, it's starting to-- yeah, yeah, yeah.
[cheering]
That's really cool.
Yeah, so why do you think why do you think it's happening?
Why do you think that's happening?
You know what, Wanda?
Sometimes, when you put a little hot sauce
on that fish or that chicken, it gets seas--
you got to put a little season on it.
You know what?
I think me and you coming together,
we both had two different types of audience.
WANDA SYKES: Right.
You know, you do a more classier style of comedy.
[laughter]
You know, I do more of a bar and grill, you know?
But I really think that sometimes when
you come together, and you both have two different audiences,
you know, I'm introduced to your audience,
and you're introduced to my audience.
So everybody's like-- because even for my audience,
they was like, man, I never would have thought to see you
and Wanda together, you know?
WANDA SYKES: Right.
So it's just one of them things.
And it worked like peanut butter and jelly, you know?
Right.
[applause]
So by working together-- you work with myself, Kim Fields--
Kim Fields, the great Kim Fields.
Yes, yes.
Gabrielle Dennis.
Regina Hicks running the show.
Regina Hicks.
So that's a lot of women, right?
That's right.
And I noticed that you touring with Cedric--
Cedric, DL Hughley.
--DC Young Fly, DL Hughley.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, that's a lot of dudes.
Yeah.
It is. yes.
I'm getting the best of both worlds.
OK.
But when you're out on the road with the brothers,
are you talking shit about us?
[laughter]
Right?
That's what I need to know.
Did somebody tell you that, Wanda, because I--
Earthquake.
Earthquake, yeah.
Well, you know what?
And those guys are friends of yours too.
You know, Earthquake's from DC.
So, you know, I think it's a whole different rhythm.
When I'm with the ladies, I mean, the comedy is like this.
It's popping.
The guys-- we all smoking cigars.
Everybody moving slow, looking around.
So the women-- they got a little bit more
snap to the timing, you know?
OK, all right.
But I love working with you guys.
Working with Kim Fields and working with Wanda,
man, it's--
I can't go wrong. You know what I mean?
I got--
[cheering]
Kim Fields is a legend in the acting world.
We know her from back in the day.
And Wanda-- come on, man.
She's a legend in the comedy game.
I do all right.
Please.
[cheering]
You know you kill the game.
So you were recently in Jackson, Mississippi.
MIKE EPPS: Jackson, Mississippi.
And I thought this was beautiful, man,
because they're still facing that getting
clean water crisis.
And while you were down there, before your show,
you were out in the streets, passing out water
to the residents down there.
MIKE EPPS: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[applause]
WANDA SYKES: Yeah.
MIKE EPPS: Yeah, that's pretty cool.
OK, so why is that important for you to get
involved like that?
You know what?
I think that when the world is going through something,
and us as comics, we go to these cities year
after year, making money in these cities.
So I think when some of these cities go in crisis,
man, we'd been to these cities.
Some of these cities feel like they our hometowns--
WANDA SYKES: Absolutely.
--because we've been going to them for so many years.
So Jackson is one of the places that I've
always did comedy at.
And they got beautiful people down there, man.
They resilient.
I said, man, I got a show coming down there.
I know they got the water crisis.
I got to give back some kind of way.
You know, I'm always making money in their town.
So I said, hey, let's buy up a bunch of water.
Shoutout to my man 100 Street Sam.
100 Street Sam Production was the promoters
who thought about doing this.
And they put it together, man.
We started passing out water.
Some of the old women that was coming through there getting
the water, I seen one old lady, she came
through there three times.
She put the mask on.
I said, no, you've been over here.
You came through three times and got some water.
I'm thirsty, baby.
[laughter]
So you got a new show on HGTV where you and your wife
are renovating homes back in your hometown.
It's called-- what's the name of it?
It's called--
Buy the Block, right?
Buy the-- I always get it mixed up.
And it's coming out this summer, right?
Yeah, it's called Blacks Buying the Block Back.
No, it ain't called that.
[laughter]
Wait, wait.
I'm going to get in trouble.
Way to promote.
[laughs]
I got HGT-- - You know what?
When you're out promoting The Upshaws,
I'm going to make you wear the T-shirt just
so you know the name of it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
OK, so it's, I think, Buy the Block Back.
Yeah, Buy the Block Back.
Yeah, and what it was was--
[laughter]
I went back to my hometown.
I've been buying houses in my hometown for about--
Indianapolis.
Yeah, in Indianapolis.
Yeah, shoutout to my hometown, Indianapolis, Indiana.
And I've been buying homes in that city for about 25 years.
WANDA SYKES: Wow.
And when I was young, me and my mom and my brothers
and sisters, we got kicked out of a lot of houses,
just getting evicted and stuff like tearing the houses up.
And I told my mother--
I said, when I get famous, Mama, if I ever get famous,
I'm going to go buy all them houses we got kicked out of.
So I went back and bought all them
houses, and we building them.
WANDA SYKES: Yeah.
Me and my wife.
[applause]
Shoutout to my beautiful wife, Kyra Epps, who's really
in charge of everything.
She got with a builder, and they put
these houses together, man.
I mean, these houses are beautiful.
They used to be $5 when I was a kid, them houses.
If I had thought that, I'd have bought
the whole neighborhood up. WANDA SYKES: Right.
You know?
So we built the houses back up.
And, hopefully, we can make them
affordable for some families and make them
affordable homes.
WANDA SYKES: That's great, Mike.
That's beautiful.
That's beautiful, man.
So I'm trying to stay out of jail.
You know what I mean?
No, I'm just kidding.
[laughs]
Talking about staying out of jail,
you're doing such good work, you know,
especially in your hometown and all.
Have you ever thought about maybe getting into politics,
maybe running for office?
Oh, no, you don't want me in there.
You know what?
If I got into some politics, man,
I would definitely want to be on the end
of helping children.
If I could be a politician and make
the world better for kids, I'd run for politics.
Other than that, I don't want to help no grown folks.
[laughter]
Well, even if you don't want to, you're doing it.
Yeah, I appreciate it.
If you want to run for office,
I got a slogan for you.
What is it?
Mike Epps-- he's got Netflix money,
and he'll gut your kitchen.
[laughs]
Thanks, man. I appreciate it.
That might work. I love you, Wanda.
- I love you so much. - Thank you.
Wanda Sykes, y'all.
Wanda Sykes.
We're going to take a break, but we'll
be right back after this.
[cheering]
[applause]
That's our show for tonight.
But before we go, please consider donating
to Everytown for Gun Safety.
They work with local, federal, and state governments
to end gun violence and build safer communities.
If you want to support them in this work,
please donate at the link below.
Now, here is your moment of zen.
(SINGING) Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo.
(MOCKING)
Thank you for watching.
Woo.
[cackles]
Yeah, those people run the world!
[cackles]
They're so impressive!
What a bunch of freaks.
MTV.