[theme music]
NARRATOR: From New York City, the only city in America,
it's the show that invented news.
This is The Daily Show with your host Sarah Silverman.
[theme music]
Welcome to The Daily Show.
I'm Sarah Silverman.
It is the second night of me hosting the show,
and I am hard as a rock.
It is just-- it's very fun to be in charge
of a late night show.
I mean, I threw a stapler at an intern today,
and there was just nothing he could do about it.
I mean, it's just been really fun.
We've got a great show for you tonight.
So let's get into headlines.
[music playing]
Let's start with today's big news about the 2024
presidential race.
Someone has stepped forward to run
against Trump for the Republican nomination,
and she's a lady.
Breaking news this morning.
Former South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley is now officially
running for president.
She is the first Republican to challenge
Trump for that nomination.
She obviously served as his ambassador
to the United Nations.
She announced as much just in a video a few moments ago.
You should know this about me.
I don't put up with bullies.
And when you kick back, it hurts them
more if you're wearing heels.
[laughter]
1997 called.
It wants that joke back.
Oh, wait, it just called again.
It wants this joke back.
I actually thought this was a great ad.
And I'm excited to buy whatever pharmaceutical product
that nice lady was selling.
But this is going to be a tough race for Nikki Haley.
Right now, she's polling at just 1%.
And that's pretty bad.
I mean, you know, even Mike Pence is at 2%.
Mike Pence's noose rope is at 5%, which is VP material.
[applause]
But you do get some advantages if you
run against your former boss.
My opponent's economic plan is terrible.
And when he poops in his office,
we all hear him go ow, ow, ow.
[laughter]
I love political satire.
It's really my lane.
Whoever wins this election will be commander
in chief of the US Army.
Although based on how recruiting is going lately,
that's going to be, like, 20 people.
The US Army is trying to recover from its worst
recruiting year in decades.
And officials say those recruiting woes are the result
of traditional hurdles.
Young people don't want to die or get injured.
They don't want to deal with the stress of army life.
And they don't want to put their lives on hold.
But the recruiting obstacles don't
seem to be rooted in concerns about the COVID-19 vaccine
or about wokeness, as some Republicans claim.
Only Republicans would have the freaking lips to blame
the lack of army recruitment on wokeness
and the number one reason that people really like not dying.
These Gen Z kids are just like, why would I go get shot
in the Middle East when I can get shot in the comfort
of my middle school?
[laughter, applause]
I'm kidding.
That doesn't happen in America.
How is the military woke?
Help me here.
Soldiers are still soldiers.
They're not going to be in battle like, I don't
think this is a safe space.
Trigger warning, I'm going to pull my trigger.
I'm--
[laughter]
But this drop in recruitment is coming at a really
perilous time for America.
If we don't have a strong military, the balloons win.
I think recruitment is done because there are
too many pop star militias.
Young people would rather be in the BTS
army, or the Rihanna navy, or the Phoebe
Bridgers mujahideen.
[laughter, applause]
This is so weird.
Like, why is everyone so obsessed with whether or not
something is going woke?
Anyway, let's move on to our next story.
What are god's pronouns?
Should god, should our father stop being referred to as he?
The Church of England is considering whether to break
with tradition and use gender neutral terms
for the almighty instead.
Well, joining us now in the studio,
Anglican priest Charlie Bell.
Is our father actually a woman?
What an interesting question.
Is it?
Is it really an interesting question?
I think god has bigger things on his mind than pronouns.
I mean, come on.
The Super Bowl just happened.
You think those touchdowns score themselves?
And, really, like, who cares about this?
There are actually people out there who
really need god to be a man.
God is the embodiment of all that is good, and merciful,
and holy, and he definitely likes girls.
And he only created mountains because he's
really into boobs.
It doesn't matter god is fake.
This is like debating whether Bigfoot wears Reeboks.
[laughter, applause]
All right.
And, finally, today is Valentine's Day,
the day when flowers find out which
house they're going to die in.
Seriously, why do we give people roses?
They are already dying the second you cut them.
You're basically giving someone a hospice patient.
Love them while you can.
Just try to keep them hydrated and make sure
they're as comfortable as possible.
But there is a Valentine's surprise
that's even worse than roses--
stealing people's money.
Well, this Valentine's Day, law enforcement
reminding you to keep an eye out for what
they call romance scams.
Officials say criminals will scour dating websites, dating
apps, chat rooms, build the relationship with you
with the goal of accessing your financial or other
personal information.
FEMALE ANCHOR: The FTC says romance
scams cost nearly 70,000 consumers $1.3 billion
last year.
MALE ANCHOR: The FBI sees a large percentage
of elderly victims.
Let's talk red flags.
This one might hurt, but if they're too good to be true.
Gorgeous photos, perfect job, amazing lifestyle
make a scammer's job of luring you easier.
If they seem sweet, genuine, caring, talking about a future
together a little more quickly than typical relationships,
they could be drawing you close to take advantage of you.
That's right.
You got to be careful out there.
If anyone literally ever says anything nice to you,
call the police.
[laughter, applause]
And she said another red flag is
if the person has an amazing lifestyle, a perfect job,
gorgeous photos.
Oh, my god, am I a scammer?
[laughter, applause]
Well, for more on these romance scams,
we turn to Michael Costa.
Michael, it's--
[applause]
It is so sad to hear about this,
especially on Valentine's Day.
I know, Sarah.
But every holiday is an opportunity for scams.
Last President's Day, a guy on Facebook
claimed he was Abraham Lincoln and asked me
for money, which was clearly a scam
because I had already just wired the real Abraham
Lincoln $10,000.
There's only one Lincoln, buddy.
How stupid do you think I am?
You're very smart, Michael.
But let's focus on the romantic scams
because I'm especially worried about how
they target the elderly.
Yeah, the elderly are easy targets
because they're so vulnerable and they're so horny.
Honestly, I'm scared for my own loved ones.
That's why I've started catfishing my grandmother.
You're catfishing your own grandmother?
As a preventative measure, yes.
The best way I can protect my 97-year-old grandmother
from being scammed is to scam her myself.
This way, she feels loved and I put
all the money she sends me right
back into her bank account.
It's the same way I stop dogs from eating
discarded chicken bones laying on the street,
by eating them myself.
I'm sure the dogs are grateful.
But how does catfishing your grandmother even work?
Take me through this.
OK, well, it works the same as normal catfishing.
You create a profile of a charming,
but believable person.
In my case, Miguel Gustavo, international art
dealer and king of Brazil.
First, you like their posts.
Then, you start the DMs.
Hey, I like what I see.
Show me what you got under that sweater
you knitted for yourself.
Here's what I'm packing.
Come on.
Gross.
You send your grandma nudes?
Well, not my nudes, obviously.
I'm not a creep.
I send her pics of guys I find online.
Oh, OK. Good.
Phew.
I thought you exchanged nudes.
No.
I mean, she sends me her nudes.
Oh, my god.
Look, I know it's gross.
I don't like it either.
I am glad she's using the yoga classes I got
her for Christmas, but still.
I don't want to see it.
Just like I don't want to spend hours texting with her about
how her grandson never calls or have her explain every episode
of The Yellowstone.
It's just Yellowstone, Grandma.
I don't have a choice, Sarah, OK?
As Michael Costa, I can't keep my grandma offline.
But as Miguel Gustavo, well, I can make sure her money stays
where it belongs, in the bank account
that I'm going to inherit one day.
I guess in its own way, this is actually a-- like,
a loving thing, Michael.
I hope all of the men out there love their grandmas enough
to seduce them.
Thank you, Sarah.
I really am the best grand--
hold-- sorry, I got--
my grandma's DMing me.
Mi amor, please send $5,000.
I'm having my third kidney removed.
OK, well, thank you so much, Michael.
All right.
When we come back, I'm going to find
out what people like about Jews, so don't go away.
[applause]
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
You know, there's been a lot of anti-Semitism
in the news lately, so I decided
to hit the streets of New York in search of some allies.
Take a look.
There's been a rise in anti-Semitism.
I'm hitting the streets looking for a little pro-Semitism.
Let's hope it doesn't end in a hate crime.
What do you like about Jews?
They make banging Christmas albums.
What is there not to love about Jews?
The food, the culture, the celebrations.
Latkes.
Hello, big group of men.
Where are you all from?
Belgium.
You're here in New York City , the land of Jews.
Have you done any Jewy things?
- What's a Jewy? - Yeah.
OK, great question.
Have you eaten a bagel? - Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, of course, of course.
Yes.
Yeah.
Have you ever been vaccinated for polio?
Yeah, I think so, yeah.
Jews.
Who are your favorite comedians?
Jerry Seinfeld.
Jerry Seinfeld, Jew.
Idina Menzel, Barbra Streisand.
Amy Winehouse, she is a gem.
Doja Cat is a Jew.
I love that.
She should be Doja Katz, probably.
Yes.
Who are your favorite Jews that you can think of?
I can't think of a famous Jew off the top of my head, but--
You can't think of a single famous Jew
off the top of your head?
I don't want to say someone's name if I
don't know they're Jewish. That's tough for me to--
Who are you thinking that seems Jewy,
but you're not sure?
Are you Jewish?
Yes.
OK, there we go.
I'm going to teach you some Yiddish.
OK?
[speaking yiddish]
That's right.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Give me a hug.
Thank you.
You know that means?
No.
Go take a shit in the ocean.
Would you be an ally to the Jews
in this time of anti-Semitism?
Definitely.
Huge ally.
What would you do to protect me?
I would speak up for you.
Beautiful.
I would light the menorah with you.
Look at this guy, knowing menorah.
[laughing]
I would stand up for you.
You would stand-- oh, my god.
It's just the way you said it was very--
I don't want to--
I could be your mother, but sexy.
OK.
You have absolutely proven yourself to be a Jewish ally.
Let's pretend it's the Sabbath.
Now, I don't know what you know about the Sabbath,
but you can't turn on lights, you can't drive your car.
That's why they have like what's called the Shabbos
goy sometimes that will come over
and turn on your TV for you because you're
not supposed to work.
So let's pretend this is the Sabbath,
and will you turn this on for me?
Oh, my god.
Why would a penis smell like a vagina?
We're here because there's been a rise in anti-Semitism.
So we're on the streets trying to find some pro-Semitism.
I don't believe in hate in any form.
So I don't care what you look alike--
religion, culture, I don't believe you
should hate on anybody.
Let's bring love.
[applause]
Agreed.
You are officially a Jewish ally.
You win two Kanye tickets.
Are you going to go?
Hell, no.
I don't like Kanye.
[applause]
Thank you, New York City.
All right.
Stay tuned, because when we come back,
America's youngest member of Congress
will be joining me on the show.
[applause]
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
My guest tonight is the first Gen Zer elected to Congress.
He's here to talk about his journey
from gun reform organizer to legislator,
Representing what he calls, "the mass
shooting generation."
Please welcome Florida representative, Maxwell Frost.
[applause]
Well, Maxwell Frost, congratulations
on being elected to Congress the same year
you were old enough to rent a car.
There we go, yep.
Who have you bonded with in Congress?
I mean, I'm guessing the squad, obvs.
But any oldies?
Yeah, well, I don't know if I want
to say their names now, because now I'm calling them oldies.
I mean, more mature.
More-- yeah.
Look, there's so many people that I've gotten to connect
with, folks who have been just doing
great work, Barbara Lee, Maxine Waters, Pramila Jayapal--
[applause]
Jamie Raskin.
Yes.
Yeah, so many amazing people out there.
I wouldn't call them oldies, but see
senior members of Congress who are doing amazing work.
Yeah, they're not oldies, they're goodies.
Yeah, they're goodies.
There we go, there we go.
You have been--
and I find this so impressive and inspiring especially
to people out here-- you've been a gun reform advocate
since you were 15-years-old.
[applause]
Spurred on by Sandy Hook, which was in Connecticut.
You're from Florida.
And you organized The March for Our Lives.
All these things that--
[applause]
I've got my pin on too.
It's the five year anniversary
of the Parkland shooting.
There was a school shooting just
last night at Michigan State.
Now that you are in Congress, what do you think can be done?
How can we break the cycle?
Yeah, well we saw Congress pass a bipartisan bill to help
end gun violence last year.
It's not everything that we need,
but it's a good step forward.
The fact of the matter is we need
a governing majority that's actually going
to care about this issue.
And you know, this word "bipartisanship"
is supposed to mean what everyone can agree on.
Most NRA members and Republicans
are for universal background checks.
But the definition of bipartisanship in Congress
means what the NRA will allow.
And because they are front for the gun lobby,
they have these politicians bought off
and they're unwilling to stand up
for what the people want so we can't get things
like background checks passed.
And so there's a lot of work that needs to be done.
A lot of it involves kicking people out and replacing them
with morally just leaders who actually
give a damn about children's lives and people.
[applause]
But in the interim, I think we have an opportunity.
I mean, overturning Citizens United would certainly help.
Yep, 100%.
[applause]
That's one of the issues to end all issues.
Yeah, that's the big one, and that's the root of so much
of this.
So now that you've seen how Congress
operates kind of from the inside, are you hopeful?
Do you see that there is change possible?
Are you excited about America's future?
Or is it depressing?
Both.
Right?
I'll say I'm very hopeful.
A lot of times on the outside you might look in and say,
there's only a small group of good people,
and everyone else is a corporate hack
and they don't care about anyone.
But having conversations with my colleagues,
I've been so surprised by so many people who
I get in the conversation with them
and I find out what they're about, and their values,
and I'm like OK, you know, like, you're actually
a lot more progressive and forward-thinking
than other folks might think.
And I think the problem is people have smaller goals,
because they understand the landscape in the battle field
that we have in Congress right now.
And I think when we show those politicians and everyone
that good policy equals good politics,
then I think people will get the courage
that they need to stand up for what we need in this country.
[applause]
More of this.
[applause]
I think a lot of Gen Zers tend to not trust the government.
How do you think you can change their minds?
Well, I understand first off, like you know,
and this is something I-- like, running for Congress,
I had to think about the fact that during the Black Lives
Matter protests I was tear gassed,
maced, arrested, and jailed for nonviolent protests.
Now, I represent those same streets in Congress,
but I still have to square the fact
that I'm a part of the system that causes a lot of harm,
and I get it.
And I think part of what we need to do
is make government more accessible,
bridging the gap between cool and consciousness.
And I think that's a really good way that we can bring
younger people into the fold.
And March for Our Lives did a great job of that,
and with the movement.
It was like the cool thing to be at the marches.
It was the cool thing to register to vote.
And I think the more we can get our culture intertwined
with the politics, I think it's going to lead to more
young people getting involved.
I mean, if the marches could translate to votes
more directly, it would ideal.
Yeah.
But maybe election day off would be a nice start.
- Exactly. - And--
[applause]
Yeah, I agree.
And voter turnout is up for young people.
We have record highs of youth voter turnout.
It's never been the largest piece of the pie,
but young people right now are voting
at higher numbers than any other generation
when they were our age.
And half of Gen Z can't even vote yet.
So we're not where we want to be,
but we're going in the right direction.
You brought pussy ass bitch.
It's now in congressional record because of you.
So I just personally want to thank you for that.
[applause]
And that was about a certain person too.
It was about--
It was.
Well, it was about a pussy ass bitch.
So I-- what's so inspiring about you
is that you got involved as a teenager,
and how that can manifest into real change.
And so I think it's exciting.
Gen Z is so exciting to me, because they're so motivated.
They realize their power, and that can really change things.
I mean, trying to get Gen Z to trust
the government, how about just trying to get
Gen Z to be the government?
And I think you've done that.
No, it is exciting.
And I think we see a lot of young candidates
running across the country.
And look, it's not like Gen Z was
waiting to get in Congress.
I'm the oldest a Gen Zer can be.
We just got old enough to run.
But I think the significance here
is that the first chance we got,
we jumped at the opportunity, because we want
to be a part of the solution.
We want to be at the table.
We don't want to be the only people at the table,
but Congress does not look like our country right now, right?
Like, Gen Z and millennials make up 1/3 of the country.
We're nowhere near 1/3 of government,
both local and federal.
And so we need more people to run for office.
Yes, Congress, but also city council,
county commission, these seats that really are-- they're
not lower, they're closer to the people,
and closer to the decisions that matter on a daily basis.
Yeah, being involved in those,
the midterm elections and everywhere down the ballot
is essential.
And I feel like the right realizes that.
Yeah, they do.
And they're more organized around that than we are.
That's why they've played this long game of taking
over these state legislatures.
It's why we woke up last year, and Roe v Wade was gone.
That's a plan that has been a long time in the making.
So Democrats, I feel like sometimes we're
too obsessed with these short-term goals.
We need to be about power building in these
communities long-term.
It's not going to happen overnight.
But that's how we're going to wake up one morning
and have our frickin' rights back, right?
Yeah.
[applause]
OK, we'll take a quick break, but we'll
be right back after this.
[applause]
Well, that's our show for tonight.
I'd like to ask you to support Second Nurture.
It's a non-profit organization working to increase the number
of families who choose to foster and adopt
children and teens by creating a support
system every step of the way.
If you can, please donate to the link below.
And also, happy birthday, Janice!
I love you so much.
Now, here it is, your moment of zen.
America's favorite purple dinosaur is making a comeback.
Barney will return to television
in the form of an animated series next year.
Well firstly, I don't remember Barney's eyes
looking that crazy.
Hi, kids.
This is good, yeah.
Yeah, it's kind of creepy.
You do that oddly well.
MTV.