1 00:00:00,534 --> 00:00:01,768 [theme music] 2 00:00:01,869 --> 00:00:04,638 ANNOUNCER: From New York City, the only city in America, 3 00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:07,207 it's the show that invented news. 4 00:00:07,307 --> 00:00:12,846 This is The Daily Show with your host, Hasan Minhaj. 5 00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:19,953 [cheering] 6 00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:29,062 Hi. 7 00:00:29,162 --> 00:00:30,063 Hey, everybody. 8 00:00:30,163 --> 00:00:32,499 I'm Hasan Minhaj. 9 00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:36,637 And I'm on day two of hosting The Daily Show. 10 00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:39,072 I'm back, baby. 11 00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,440 Listen-- no, no, no, no. Settle in. 12 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:41,441 Settle in. 13 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:42,442 Settle in. 14 00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:43,744 Listen, listen. 15 00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:46,280 It's days like today that I remember what my old boss 16 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,515 Jon Stewart used to say to me. 17 00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,284 Hasan, please, stop name dropping me 18 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:51,552 when you tell stories. 19 00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:52,953 [laughter] 20 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,688 Miss you, J-Stew. 21 00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:56,023 We got a lot to talk about tonight. 22 00:00:56,123 --> 00:00:58,325 So let's get into headlines. 23 00:00:58,425 --> 00:01:01,728 [cheering] 24 00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:03,764 Let's kick things off with TikTok. 25 00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:05,666 It's the app that taught me how to make spaghetti 26 00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:06,834 in a washing machine. 27 00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:09,069 But it also gave me adult ADHD. 28 00:01:09,169 --> 00:01:10,470 Look at my pen. 29 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,706 Isn't this cool? 30 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:15,442 Fo-- focus, focus. 31 00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:16,877 But if you work for the government, 32 00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:18,245 your TikTok days are numbered. 33 00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:19,847 Because the White House just announced 34 00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:23,283 that federal agencies have 30 days to delete TikTok 35 00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:25,652 from all government phones. 36 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,888 Yeah, that's right. 37 00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:31,758 President Joseph R. Boner Killer thinks 38 00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:33,293 that China could spy on us. 39 00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:37,965 But that's stupid because they use balloons now, Joseph. 40 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,099 And you know what? 41 00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:41,368 China also thinks that this ban is stupid. 42 00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:43,403 REPORTER: A Chinese official is responding to this move 43 00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:46,273 this morning saying, quote, "As the world's most powerful 44 00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:48,876 country, the US needs to be more self-confident 45 00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:52,679 instead of being so afraid of an app loved by young people." 46 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,648 [laughter] 47 00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:56,316 OK, China. 48 00:01:56,416 --> 00:01:59,019 Oh, what, you trying to press me? 49 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:02,055 Oh, you think America isn't self-confident? 50 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:05,792 We call our national champions world champions. 51 00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:08,061 You understand? 52 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:11,431 Listen, we called dibs on the moon. 53 00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:13,333 That's our moon. 54 00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:17,070 We invaded the wrong country and stayed there for 20 years. 55 00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:20,073 You think I don't have the self-confidence to just 56 00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:21,575 mindlessly stare at my phone? 57 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:22,776 I'll do it right now, China. 58 00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:25,078 I'll give my soul to this thing right now, Chi-- 59 00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:29,550 [bleep] ADD, [bleep] ADD. 60 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:33,687 But seriously, do you want to know how I know that China 61 00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,622 is really playing us? 62 00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:38,492 China doesn't use the same TikTok. 63 00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:41,295 Chinese TikTok has a time limit for kids. 64 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,964 It's capped at 40 minutes because China 65 00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:46,500 is smart enough to follow the fourth rule 66 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,436 of the 10 Crack Commandments-- 67 00:02:49,536 --> 00:02:51,738 never get high on your own supply. 68 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:54,474 [laughter] 69 00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:57,911 But let's move on because Biden isn't 70 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:58,946 just moving against TikTok. 71 00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:00,781 He's also trying to kill student debt. 72 00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,783 And today the Supreme Court heard 73 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,318 arguments about whether canceling student 74 00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:05,485 debt was legal. 75 00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:07,254 Now, you know this issue. 76 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,822 There's basically two camps, right? 77 00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:12,926 There's one group that says let's go clear history 78 00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,962 on everybody's student debt. 79 00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:15,963 Right? 80 00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:17,064 What do you think about that? 81 00:03:17,164 --> 00:03:18,565 [cheering] 82 00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:19,900 Don't do that. 83 00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:22,436 Just to be clear, I'm not paying your student loan debt. 84 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:23,437 I'm Hasan Minhaj. 85 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:24,471 I'm not Oprah, OK? 86 00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:25,806 [laughter] 87 00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:28,342 But then there's another group of Kirkland Signature dads 88 00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:31,311 going, hey, I had to work 30 hours a day 89 00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:32,613 to pay off my student debts. 90 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:37,851 I got [bleep] by life, and so should you, kids. 91 00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:41,722 And, dads, I hear you. 92 00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:44,625 No one should be happy. 93 00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:47,094 But I promise you, even if student debt gets canceled, 94 00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:50,364 life is going to curb stomp your kids anyway. 95 00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:52,399 They're already [bleep]. 96 00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:53,600 They don't have health insurance. 97 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,235 They're not going to be able to buy a house. 98 00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:57,371 And at some point, they'll run out of clean water. 99 00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:59,273 So don't worry, boomers. 100 00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:01,942 You'll get what you always wanted-- 101 00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:03,744 vengeance on your own children. 102 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:06,446 [laughter] 103 00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:10,050 Now the big story that I want to talk about 104 00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:12,186 is all the drama in news media. 105 00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:16,723 Apparently, everyone at GMA is [bleep] the same guy. 106 00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:20,194 But these days, the most scandalous place in TV news 107 00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:21,428 is Fox News. 108 00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:25,332 Now you're probably thinking, Fox News, oh, shit. 109 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:28,502 They're still out here, smashing in these streets, 110 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:29,937 calling women hags. 111 00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:31,405 Nope! 112 00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:32,873 Those days are over. 113 00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:35,108 They're dealing with this-- 114 00:04:35,209 --> 00:04:38,846 cumbersome, ugly hardware. 115 00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:41,715 These are voting machines made by Dominion, who no one had 116 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:44,585 ever heard of until Fox put them at the center 117 00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:45,786 of a mass conspiracy. 118 00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:48,722 Fox said Dominion stole the election 119 00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:51,625 with these R2-D2-looking janitor carts. 120 00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:57,231 And now Dominion is suing Fox for $1.6 billion. 121 00:04:57,331 --> 00:04:59,600 And the lawsuit is airing out Rupert 122 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,201 Murdoch's dirty laundry. 123 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,437 There was breaking news tonight involving Fox News 124 00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,873 and owner Rupert Murdoch, acknowledging under oath 125 00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:09,676 that Fox News hosts endorsed false election fraud claims. 126 00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:12,379 REPORTER: It's a candid admission from Fox News boss 127 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:15,782 Rupert Murdoch about how his network handled Donald Trump's 128 00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:17,851 lie about the 2020 election. 129 00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:21,054 Murdoch acknowledging quote, "some of our commentators 130 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:24,324 were endorsing false claims that the election was somehow 131 00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:26,426 stolen from former President Trump." 132 00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:29,396 Explosive, newly-revealed testimony in the Dominion 133 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:30,797 voting systems lawsuit. 134 00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:33,467 Shocking new revelations, new bombshell admissions 135 00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:34,468 under oath. 136 00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:36,670 Oh, is it a bombshell? 137 00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:37,671 Is it? 138 00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:38,672 Is it shocking? 139 00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:41,074 Is it explosive? 140 00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:42,075 What? 141 00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:44,111 Fox knew the election wasn't stolen, 142 00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:45,279 but they said it anyways? 143 00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:47,581 That's not shocking. 144 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,250 If Brian Kilmeade ever completed a Wordle, 145 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,119 that would be shocking. 146 00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:56,290 Now I'm not shocked. 147 00:05:56,390 --> 00:06:00,594 But I will say I am very entertained. 148 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,096 Because of this lawsuit, a bunch of Fox News hosts 149 00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:05,799 had to release their text messages. 150 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,401 And y'all know this. 151 00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:08,802 Yeah. No, no, no. 152 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:09,803 You know this. 153 00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:12,272 There's LinkedIn you. 154 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:15,275 And then there's iMessage you. 155 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,444 That's the deep, dark underbelly 156 00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,913 of who you really are. 157 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,816 And, boy oh boy, were these iMessages good. 158 00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,819 REPORTER: New court filings show that in private Fox hosts 159 00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:28,455 Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingraham, and Sean Hannity 160 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,391 were brutally ridiculing the claims of election fraud 161 00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:32,926 and the people who were making them. 162 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,562 REPORTER: Top Fox hosts privately trashed the Trump 163 00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:37,164 legal team for lying. 164 00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:39,700 As Tucker Carlson texted Laura Ingraham, 165 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,635 "Sidney Powell is lying. 166 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:42,903 It's insane." 167 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:46,373 Ingraham responded, "Sidney is a complete nut." 168 00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:48,208 REPORTER: Tucker Carlson referred to Donald Trump 169 00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:49,977 as a demonic force. 170 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,112 REPORTER: The private mockery also targeted 171 00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:53,981 Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani. 172 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:57,184 Sean Hannity wrote, Giuliani is "acting 173 00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:59,553 like an insane person," while Ingraham 174 00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:01,555 remarked, "Such an idiot." 175 00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:02,556 [laughter] 176 00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:05,025 Oh, my god. 177 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:07,895 Do you realize what this means? 178 00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:10,030 These people are 179 00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,165 secretly, sane. 180 00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,168 [laughter] 181 00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:18,038 They also don't respect anyone they have on their show. 182 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:20,674 These guys are texting each other all day 183 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,910 about how bullshit Fox News is. 184 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:25,512 Their group chat is basically MSNBC. 185 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,381 [laughter] 186 00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:29,716 But out of everything we learned about Fox News, 187 00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:32,252 there was one text that came out in discovery 188 00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:34,188 that truly freaked me out. 189 00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:35,889 It's when Tucker Carlson said Fox 190 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:38,192 News had to be more supportive of Donald 191 00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:39,726 Trump's election claims. 192 00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:42,362 REPORTER: Tucker Carlson wrote his producer Alex Pfeiffer, 193 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:45,465 "Do the executives understand how much credibility and trust 194 00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:47,067 we've lost with our audience? 195 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:49,169 We're playing with fire for real. 196 00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:54,474 An alternative like Newsmax could be devastating to us." 197 00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:56,844 Do you understand what he's saying here? 198 00:07:56,944 --> 00:08:00,214 He's saying, if I don't say this bullshit, 199 00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:02,649 my viewers will leave me. 200 00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:04,585 This whole time we thought Fox News 201 00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:06,653 was manipulating its viewers. 202 00:08:06,753 --> 00:08:10,891 But it turns out the viewers were manipulating Fox News. 203 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,359 [laughter] 204 00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:16,630 So just think of it like this, OK? 205 00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:20,868 Tucker Carlson is a moral vacuum, a hole, 206 00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:24,638 if you will, who glorifies election deniers, 207 00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,840 so a glory hole. 208 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:33,914 And his viewers expect him to please them with his mouth. 209 00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:38,418 And he's constantly terrified that they'll find a new, more 210 00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:41,288 satisfying glory hole. 211 00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:44,191 And that's why Tucker Carlson will never stop sucking. 212 00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:45,859 [laughter] 213 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,494 For more on these revealing texts, 214 00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:49,897 we turn to a man I've known for years, 215 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,331 my good friend Michael Kosta. 216 00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:52,799 My dude, Michael. 217 00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:54,201 [cheering] 218 00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:55,202 What's happening, man? 219 00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:57,905 So great to see you, Michael Kosta. 220 00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,607 Now let's talk about this. 221 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:03,544 These text messages, they're devastating for Fox, right? 222 00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:05,646 Absolutely, they're so embarrassing. 223 00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:08,048 I mean, being caught texting with your coworkers, 224 00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:10,284 how humiliating, you know? 225 00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:12,886 What kind of losers have friends at work? 226 00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:17,858 [laughter] 227 00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:19,359 I thought we were friends. 228 00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:22,863 And that's what's especially embarrassing for these hosts 229 00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:26,066 is that they could have avoided all this just by not giving 230 00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:27,501 their phones to the court. 231 00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,803 The court won't know about your embarrassing texts 232 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,105 if you don't give them your texts. 233 00:09:32,206 --> 00:09:35,576 Duh. 234 00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,412 No, they didn't give them their texts. 235 00:09:38,512 --> 00:09:41,849 They were forced to turn them over with a subpoena. 236 00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:42,850 What? 237 00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:44,484 Yeah, yeah. 238 00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:47,454 Michael, a court can force you to hand 239 00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:49,656 over your text messages. 240 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:50,657 No. 241 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,192 No, no, no, no. 242 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,293 Texts are private. 243 00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:54,561 HASAN MINHAJ: No, no, no, they're not. 244 00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:57,364 You can get them through a legal process called-- 245 00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:58,365 oh, my god. 246 00:09:58,465 --> 00:09:59,366 Let's focus. 247 00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:00,701 Listen, let me ask you this. 248 00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:03,170 Do you think this lawsuit will finally end the election 249 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,072 fraud claims once and for all? - I guess. 250 00:10:05,172 --> 00:10:06,173 It depend-- so-- so wait. 251 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,174 So wait. 252 00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:08,375 You're telling me that-- that if-- 253 00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:09,676 Oh, my god. 254 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:12,346 If somebody hypothetically was running a slip and fall 255 00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:14,081 insurance scam with my grandma and her roommate 256 00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:15,082 at the nursing home-- 257 00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:16,450 What? 258 00:10:16,550 --> 00:10:18,852 --a court could get those text messages? 259 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,120 Yeah, easily, Michael. 260 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,689 That would be very incriminating too. 261 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:25,392 OK, well, the blue bubbles, but not the green, right? 262 00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:26,393 Because-- 263 00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:27,394 What? 264 00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:29,630 Because Beatrice-- 265 00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,865 Beatrice is on Android and is just too set 266 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,000 in her ways to switch, right? 267 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,902 They can get every kind of bubble, Michael. 268 00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:37,204 What are you-- are you my [bleep] dad? 269 00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:38,205 Let's focus on Fox News. 270 00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,206 Listen. 271 00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:40,474 Jesus Christ. 272 00:10:40,574 --> 00:10:42,910 What's happening right now is an existential crisis. 273 00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:44,945 Financial loss is one thing, but the integrity 274 00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:46,313 of journalism in newsrooms-- - Jesus. 275 00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:47,447 What are you doing? 276 00:10:47,548 --> 00:10:50,250 I'm-- I'm just clearing some space off my phone. 277 00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,319 I mean, Jesus Christ, I have a lot of texts. 278 00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:53,820 Dude, deleting texts is not going to work. 279 00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:55,155 It's not going to help anything. 280 00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:56,723 A court can still find them in the cloud. 281 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,358 Well, yeah, but not if it's password protected. 282 00:10:58,458 --> 00:10:59,359 It's password protected. 283 00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:00,961 Yeah, is your password 1111? 284 00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:03,430 Oh, my god. 285 00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:05,365 They're going to know everything, 286 00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,334 and they're going to flip Beatrice for sure. 287 00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:11,338 Nana, you-- you have to smother Beatrice. 288 00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:14,441 Do it with the pillow that says, bless this mess. 289 00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:16,410 Kosta, are you live texting a murder plan? 290 00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:17,578 No, Hasan. I'm not stupid. 291 00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:19,246 I'm emailing her. It's a totally different app. 292 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,447 They can still do that! 293 00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:21,915 It's the same thing! Oh, my god! 294 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:23,450 - OK, I got it. - What are you doing? 295 00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:24,484 Watch this. Watch this. 296 00:11:24,585 --> 00:11:25,485 Boom. - Oh, my god. 297 00:11:25,586 --> 00:11:26,620 Boom, all right? 298 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:30,557 There, good luck nabbing me now, federales, OK? 299 00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:33,093 Talk to my lawyer, Poland Spring. 300 00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:34,795 [laughter] 301 00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,330 Hey, would you mind calling me an Uber? 302 00:11:36,430 --> 00:11:37,798 It's just-- 303 00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,266 What's your address? 304 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,267 Panama. 305 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,568 Michael Kosta, everyone. 306 00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:43,470 Panama, just any-- 307 00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:44,872 any address. 308 00:11:44,972 --> 00:11:47,908 All right, when we come back, I'm going full hater on tech. 309 00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:48,909 Don't go away. 310 00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:52,379 [cheering] 311 00:12:00,958 --> 00:12:07,398 [cheering] 312 00:12:09,433 --> 00:12:11,168 Welcome back to The Daily Show. 313 00:12:11,268 --> 00:12:13,371 If you're like me, your life is both owned 314 00:12:13,471 --> 00:12:14,939 and ruined by technology. 315 00:12:15,039 --> 00:12:16,540 So I went to talk to someone about how 316 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:18,309 to break free from it all. 317 00:12:18,409 --> 00:12:20,344 Even though I've made a career of standing in front 318 00:12:20,444 --> 00:12:22,179 of screens and flailing my arms, 319 00:12:22,279 --> 00:12:24,081 I have a secret to tell all of you. 320 00:12:24,181 --> 00:12:26,350 I hate technology. 321 00:12:26,450 --> 00:12:28,586 Every new gizmo and gadget claims to be 322 00:12:28,686 --> 00:12:30,321 highly useful and easy to use. 323 00:12:30,421 --> 00:12:32,256 But if that were true, then why are 324 00:12:32,356 --> 00:12:35,660 we so frustrated by technology all the goddamn time? 325 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:39,897 I decided to sit down with Marques Brownlee, aka, MCBHD, 326 00:12:39,997 --> 00:12:41,966 who's been heralded as the greatest tech 327 00:12:42,066 --> 00:12:43,934 reviewer on planet Earth, bringing 328 00:12:44,035 --> 00:12:47,171 us endless videos of the newest high tech piece of shit. 329 00:12:47,271 --> 00:12:51,042 But could he convince me to join his techno mania cult? 330 00:12:51,142 --> 00:12:54,478 Marques, you are like the Kim Kardashian of technology. 331 00:12:54,578 --> 00:12:57,281 What you say moves product, and you do have a lot of junk 332 00:12:57,381 --> 00:12:59,650 in your trunk to review. 333 00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:02,253 Has that been said, or are you just? 334 00:13:02,353 --> 00:13:04,188 That's a metaphor, yeah, I'm proposing that. 335 00:13:04,288 --> 00:13:05,456 I like that. 336 00:13:05,556 --> 00:13:09,627 You have dedicated your life to reviewing technology. 337 00:13:09,727 --> 00:13:10,761 Why? 338 00:13:10,861 --> 00:13:12,897 There is a quote you've probably heard. 339 00:13:12,997 --> 00:13:16,000 Any sufficiently advanced technology is 340 00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:17,635 indistinguishable from magic. 341 00:13:17,735 --> 00:13:19,570 If you have a certain expectation 342 00:13:19,637 --> 00:13:22,707 and the tech actually gives you that output you expect, 343 00:13:22,807 --> 00:13:25,209 like that working, I love that. 344 00:13:25,309 --> 00:13:26,911 And when it doesn't work, what does it feel like? 345 00:13:27,011 --> 00:13:28,179 Incredibly frustrating. 346 00:13:28,279 --> 00:13:29,780 Yeah, to me, it feels like an abomination to society. 347 00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:30,815 - It's rough. - Yeah. 348 00:13:30,915 --> 00:13:31,882 Here's my problem. 349 00:13:31,982 --> 00:13:33,584 My brain is melting right now, because I 350 00:13:33,617 --> 00:13:37,088 have to juggle 100 apps just to communicate with eight people. 351 00:13:37,188 --> 00:13:38,089 Mm-hmm. 352 00:13:38,189 --> 00:13:39,657 When I was in college, there were three 353 00:13:39,757 --> 00:13:41,225 ways to get a hold of me. 354 00:13:41,325 --> 00:13:44,862 Call me if you're confident, text me if you're shy, 355 00:13:44,962 --> 00:13:45,963 email me if you're smart. 356 00:13:46,063 --> 00:13:48,666 Now, it's 100 apps. 357 00:13:48,766 --> 00:13:52,603 iMessage, friends, Android, annoying friends, Signal, 358 00:13:52,703 --> 00:13:55,473 pretentious college friends, WhatsApp, annoying family 359 00:13:55,606 --> 00:13:58,843 members, Instagram DMs, horny randos, Twitter DMs, 360 00:13:58,943 --> 00:14:02,646 angry political randos, Evite, psychos, paperless post, 361 00:14:02,747 --> 00:14:03,714 liberal psychos. 362 00:14:03,814 --> 00:14:05,349 That's just messaging, Marques. 363 00:14:05,449 --> 00:14:06,417 Yeah. 364 00:14:06,550 --> 00:14:09,086 So you do have the option to not try any 365 00:14:09,186 --> 00:14:10,454 of the things you don't want. 366 00:14:10,554 --> 00:14:12,156 Until I go to a restaurant, you go, hey, can I get a menu? 367 00:14:12,256 --> 00:14:13,290 Yeah. 368 00:14:13,391 --> 00:14:15,092 And they go, oh yeah, just scan the QR code. 369 00:14:15,192 --> 00:14:17,094 I go, no, no, no, I went to this restaurant 370 00:14:17,194 --> 00:14:18,663 to avoid being on my phone. 371 00:14:18,763 --> 00:14:20,164 And then they're like, oh, you have to also 372 00:14:20,264 --> 00:14:21,298 pay through your phone. 373 00:14:21,399 --> 00:14:22,600 In order to do that, you have to create 374 00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:23,734 a username and password. 375 00:14:23,834 --> 00:14:25,369 - Oh, OK, so-- - Do you see what I'm saying? 376 00:14:25,469 --> 00:14:26,470 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 377 00:14:26,570 --> 00:14:30,007 You just made this, I'll have the tuna melt, 378 00:14:30,107 --> 00:14:31,409 six steps harder. 379 00:14:31,575 --> 00:14:33,277 There's a Goldilocks zone of like going 380 00:14:33,377 --> 00:14:36,580 a little bit into tech and seeing real benefit 381 00:14:36,681 --> 00:14:37,682 before going too far. 382 00:14:37,782 --> 00:14:40,584 But we got to try a whole bunch of bad ideas 383 00:14:40,685 --> 00:14:43,654 before we find one or two cool things Hasan might like. 384 00:14:43,754 --> 00:14:46,657 Marques wanted to prove to me that tech could be useful 385 00:14:46,757 --> 00:14:49,093 and user-friendly by doing what he's known 386 00:14:49,193 --> 00:14:50,828 for, a product demo. 387 00:14:50,928 --> 00:14:53,864 Secretly, I suspected it would turn into an episode of, 388 00:14:53,964 --> 00:14:56,600 "This Shit Doesn't Work." 389 00:14:56,667 --> 00:14:58,235 These new tech-enhanced products 390 00:14:58,336 --> 00:15:00,705 were a smart toothbrush, smart hover 391 00:15:00,805 --> 00:15:02,606 shoes, and a smart printer. 392 00:15:02,707 --> 00:15:04,975 And of course, all of these were supposed to be 393 00:15:05,076 --> 00:15:07,044 as easy as one, two, three. 394 00:15:07,144 --> 00:15:09,013 All right, let's see. 395 00:15:09,113 --> 00:15:10,781 Lean slightly forward to move forward, 396 00:15:10,881 --> 00:15:12,616 slightly backward to go backwards, 397 00:15:12,717 --> 00:15:14,185 and step off to get off. 398 00:15:14,285 --> 00:15:15,186 OK. 399 00:15:15,286 --> 00:15:16,187 Smart toothbrush. 400 00:15:16,287 --> 00:15:17,455 It's got a ton of sensors and it 401 00:15:17,555 --> 00:15:18,989 might be able to shed some light on something 402 00:15:19,090 --> 00:15:20,291 you can do better. - All right. 403 00:15:20,391 --> 00:15:21,692 Let's see how easy it is. - Sure. 404 00:15:21,792 --> 00:15:22,727 Look at that. 405 00:15:22,827 --> 00:15:24,228 Sticker reminding you how easy it is. 406 00:15:24,328 --> 00:15:25,429 Can I plug it in right here? 407 00:15:25,563 --> 00:15:26,430 Yeah. 408 00:15:26,564 --> 00:15:27,565 All right? 409 00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:29,266 All right, this is it? - Yeah. 410 00:15:29,367 --> 00:15:30,368 All right, back to the future. 411 00:15:30,468 --> 00:15:32,003 I can't believe there's no straps. 412 00:15:32,103 --> 00:15:33,037 Says, twist me. 413 00:15:33,137 --> 00:15:34,238 Yeah. 414 00:15:34,338 --> 00:15:35,239 Ah. 415 00:15:35,339 --> 00:15:36,574 What happens when you open it? 416 00:15:36,607 --> 00:15:38,776 Somewhere around, there we go. 417 00:15:38,876 --> 00:15:39,777 There's a tab. 418 00:15:39,877 --> 00:15:41,379 Because the sticker says effortless. 419 00:15:41,479 --> 00:15:42,580 Well, wait, wait. 420 00:15:42,613 --> 00:15:43,647 Why is it going? 421 00:15:43,748 --> 00:15:45,483 Why is it possessed? 422 00:15:45,583 --> 00:15:46,717 Shoot, shoot. 423 00:15:46,817 --> 00:15:48,619 I connect this to app, right? 424 00:15:48,719 --> 00:15:49,854 App Store app. 425 00:15:49,954 --> 00:15:51,789 The problem is, I just don't want my dentist to have 426 00:15:51,889 --> 00:15:53,591 even more info about me. - Why not? 427 00:15:53,691 --> 00:15:54,759 Because I haven't been brushing 428 00:15:54,859 --> 00:15:55,893 the fool happy birthday. 429 00:15:55,993 --> 00:15:57,395 Oh, sorry, it says do not turn the power 430 00:15:57,495 --> 00:15:59,096 of until the initialization is complete. 431 00:15:59,196 --> 00:16:02,566 This takes about six minutes. 432 00:16:02,667 --> 00:16:06,237 We're just going to sit here for six minutes. 433 00:16:06,337 --> 00:16:07,238 Where do I apply? 434 00:16:07,338 --> 00:16:10,341 So if I apply, yeah. 435 00:16:10,441 --> 00:16:11,409 So we have to make an account. 436 00:16:11,542 --> 00:16:13,077 [knocking] 437 00:16:13,177 --> 00:16:14,545 We do have to type a Wi-Fi password. 438 00:16:14,578 --> 00:16:16,080 There's your keyboard. 439 00:16:16,180 --> 00:16:17,982 So you got to type, by the way, there's capitals. 440 00:16:18,082 --> 00:16:19,116 Marques! 441 00:16:19,216 --> 00:16:21,385 I have to switch between uppercase and lowercase? 442 00:16:21,552 --> 00:16:22,687 And then down. 443 00:16:22,787 --> 00:16:24,355 You know relationships end because of stuff like that. 444 00:16:24,455 --> 00:16:25,556 I'll set up my own account. 445 00:16:25,623 --> 00:16:27,024 You're going to use your fold government name? 446 00:16:27,124 --> 00:16:28,726 Yeah, I'm going to do exactly what it asks me to. 447 00:16:28,826 --> 00:16:29,727 I cook by the book, man. 448 00:16:29,827 --> 00:16:30,728 Idiot. 449 00:16:30,828 --> 00:16:32,330 I give it a password. 450 00:16:32,430 --> 00:16:33,831 And then you just straighten your feet? 451 00:16:33,931 --> 00:16:34,832 How do you feel? 452 00:16:34,932 --> 00:16:36,267 I feel like a baby giraffe. 453 00:16:36,367 --> 00:16:37,668 Oh, I have to [inaudible]. 454 00:16:37,768 --> 00:16:39,236 Yeah, you want a password again? 455 00:16:39,337 --> 00:16:40,338 Yeah, can you send it to me? 456 00:16:40,438 --> 00:16:41,439 Unable to register user. 457 00:16:41,572 --> 00:16:42,440 Please try. 458 00:16:42,573 --> 00:16:44,008 This is what I'm saying! Try again. 459 00:16:44,108 --> 00:16:45,443 What does it say now? - Doesn't work. 460 00:16:45,576 --> 00:16:46,811 You know what, man? [bleep] this. 461 00:16:46,911 --> 00:16:48,245 How do I get off? 462 00:16:48,346 --> 00:16:49,313 Uh. 463 00:16:49,413 --> 00:16:50,614 It's not your thing, it's my thing, bro. 464 00:16:50,715 --> 00:16:51,649 Oh, you don't. 465 00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:53,117 Please try one more time, third time. 466 00:16:53,217 --> 00:16:54,485 It doesn't work. Login failed. 467 00:16:54,585 --> 00:16:56,420 Login failed! 468 00:16:56,587 --> 00:16:58,589 And we're. 469 00:16:58,622 --> 00:16:59,890 What is it printing? 470 00:16:59,990 --> 00:17:02,226 Yeah, ladies and gentlemen, let's have our final product, 471 00:17:02,326 --> 00:17:07,064 shall we? 472 00:17:07,164 --> 00:17:08,065 I mean. 473 00:17:08,165 --> 00:17:09,900 This shit doesn't work! 474 00:17:10,001 --> 00:17:11,369 It doesn't work! 475 00:17:11,535 --> 00:17:12,436 It didn't work. 476 00:17:12,536 --> 00:17:14,138 I felt like I had just proved to Marques 477 00:17:14,238 --> 00:17:16,407 that his entire life was a lie. 478 00:17:16,540 --> 00:17:19,043 But he had a slightly different perspective. 479 00:17:19,143 --> 00:17:22,980 The goal of tech is really to just work every time 480 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,281 and be as easy as possible. 481 00:17:24,382 --> 00:17:25,282 Yeah. 482 00:17:25,383 --> 00:17:27,818 So I would just say to have patience 483 00:17:27,918 --> 00:17:30,354 with the things that don't work yet, 484 00:17:30,454 --> 00:17:34,058 because maybe they will soon. 485 00:17:34,158 --> 00:17:35,359 But printers are just [inaudible].. 486 00:17:35,459 --> 00:17:36,560 Printers are doomed. 487 00:17:36,594 --> 00:17:39,563 So maybe the way to fix shitty modern technology 488 00:17:39,597 --> 00:17:44,568 is by becoming more patient and understanding users. 489 00:17:44,602 --> 00:17:46,937 [screaming] 490 00:17:47,038 --> 00:17:49,807 Why can you work? 491 00:17:49,907 --> 00:17:53,744 Here's an app. 492 00:17:53,844 --> 00:17:55,713 [whirring] 493 00:17:55,813 --> 00:17:58,249 Open can. 494 00:17:58,349 --> 00:17:59,483 Close, you can! 495 00:17:59,583 --> 00:18:00,518 Close! 496 00:18:00,584 --> 00:18:02,286 The shit doesn't work! 497 00:18:02,386 --> 00:18:07,858 [growling] 498 00:18:07,958 --> 00:18:09,660 Thank you, Marques. 499 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:12,430 All right, stay tuned, because when we come back, 500 00:18:12,530 --> 00:18:13,964 Rebel Wilson will be joining me on the show. 501 00:18:14,065 --> 00:18:14,965 Don't go away. 502 00:18:15,066 --> 00:18:18,135 [cheering] 503 00:18:27,024 --> 00:18:32,196 [cheering, applause] 504 00:18:32,296 --> 00:18:34,765 Welcome back to The Daily Show! 505 00:18:34,865 --> 00:18:38,102 My guest tonight is an actor you may know from Bridesmaids 506 00:18:38,202 --> 00:18:39,436 and Pitch Perfect. 507 00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:41,705 She's here to talk about the new dating app she recently 508 00:18:41,805 --> 00:18:42,973 launched, called Fluid. 509 00:18:43,073 --> 00:18:44,708 Please welcome Rebel Wilson! 510 00:18:44,808 --> 00:18:51,815 [cheering, applause] 511 00:19:05,462 --> 00:19:08,065 Whoa! 512 00:19:08,165 --> 00:19:11,902 Yes, I'm spreading Fluid across America. 513 00:19:12,002 --> 00:19:13,103 They love you, Rebel. 514 00:19:13,203 --> 00:19:14,638 Ah, hi, guys. 515 00:19:14,738 --> 00:19:18,509 [cheering, applause] 516 00:19:18,609 --> 00:19:21,845 You should do a guest host week. 517 00:19:21,946 --> 00:19:23,814 Oh, I don't know whether I could do what you do. 518 00:19:23,914 --> 00:19:27,184 Sometimes I've done hosting gigs, and they terrify me. 519 00:19:27,284 --> 00:19:30,487 Like, because-- I hosted the British Academy Awards, 520 00:19:30,588 --> 00:19:33,457 the BAFTAs, and it was terrifying. 521 00:19:33,490 --> 00:19:35,025 HASAN MINHAJ: Is it because, like, British actors 522 00:19:35,125 --> 00:19:36,160 take themselves very seriously? 523 00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:37,228 Yeah, yeah. 524 00:19:37,328 --> 00:19:39,096 Like, I made a joke about a male actor, 525 00:19:39,196 --> 00:19:42,066 and then his wife came up to me and was like, you 526 00:19:42,166 --> 00:19:43,267 know he's married, right? 527 00:19:43,367 --> 00:19:45,970 And I'm like, yeah, I wasn't, like, trying 528 00:19:46,070 --> 00:19:46,971 to get with him or anything. 529 00:19:47,071 --> 00:19:48,505 I was just-- 530 00:19:48,606 --> 00:19:49,773 HASAN MINHAJ: (LAUGHING) OK. 531 00:19:49,873 --> 00:19:50,874 So it's very hard to host. 532 00:19:50,975 --> 00:19:51,875 Well-- 533 00:19:51,976 --> 00:19:52,910 I'm glad you're hosting. 534 00:19:53,010 --> 00:19:53,911 Speaking-- 535 00:19:54,011 --> 00:19:57,815 [cheering, applause] 536 00:19:57,915 --> 00:19:59,316 All right. 537 00:19:59,483 --> 00:20:02,486 Speaking of getting with people, 538 00:20:02,553 --> 00:20:03,821 you recently got engaged? 539 00:20:03,921 --> 00:20:05,589 Yes, I did. 540 00:20:05,689 --> 00:20:06,590 Congratulations. 541 00:20:06,690 --> 00:20:08,292 [cheering, applause] 542 00:20:08,392 --> 00:20:10,327 You got engaged at Disneyland! 543 00:20:10,494 --> 00:20:13,697 Yes, I got engaged in Disneyland. 544 00:20:13,797 --> 00:20:17,101 The happiest proposal place on Earth. 545 00:20:17,201 --> 00:20:18,903 Yeah, so basically, it's not like I'm 546 00:20:19,003 --> 00:20:20,404 obsessed with Disneyland. It's just-- 547 00:20:20,504 --> 00:20:21,405 Are you-- 548 00:20:21,505 --> 00:20:22,573 I go there every weekend. 549 00:20:22,673 --> 00:20:24,174 Oh, my god! 550 00:20:24,275 --> 00:20:26,076 Like, every important holiday and every important 551 00:20:26,176 --> 00:20:27,244 life event. 552 00:20:27,344 --> 00:20:30,180 So I did actually get to sleep inside Disneyland 553 00:20:30,281 --> 00:20:32,316 for my 40th birthday. 554 00:20:32,449 --> 00:20:33,951 So I got to sleep overnight, and I 555 00:20:34,051 --> 00:20:36,620 got those little disability scooters and went 556 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,890 around just by myself. 557 00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:41,592 I was cruising around. 558 00:20:41,692 --> 00:20:43,227 Why sleep in an empty theme park? 559 00:20:43,327 --> 00:20:44,628 That's like a horror movie. 560 00:20:44,728 --> 00:20:45,796 It was really fun. 561 00:20:45,896 --> 00:20:46,997 It was really fun. 562 00:20:47,097 --> 00:20:48,599 And then, I tried to break into the churros thing, 563 00:20:48,699 --> 00:20:51,835 and then I couldn't get that many, but it was fun. 564 00:20:51,936 --> 00:20:53,003 Yeah. 565 00:20:53,103 --> 00:20:54,905 You know-- but were the rides open overnight? 566 00:20:55,005 --> 00:20:55,906 No. 567 00:20:56,006 --> 00:20:57,942 They shut 'em, eventually. 568 00:20:58,042 --> 00:21:00,144 There's this whole thing with Disney adults. 569 00:21:00,244 --> 00:21:01,145 You know this, right? 570 00:21:01,245 --> 00:21:02,146 Maybe I'm one of them. 571 00:21:02,246 --> 00:21:04,114 No! 572 00:21:04,214 --> 00:21:07,484 Did you know, Hasan, there's actually gangs at Disneyland. 573 00:21:07,585 --> 00:21:10,020 There are, like, these gangs of adults that 574 00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:12,690 have cool names like the White Rabbits 575 00:21:12,790 --> 00:21:18,729 or Children of Thanos, Coco Locos. 576 00:21:18,829 --> 00:21:20,064 Like, yeah, they have all these gangs, 577 00:21:20,164 --> 00:21:22,333 and sometimes they wear matching vests. 578 00:21:22,499 --> 00:21:23,867 And they walk around and, like, do 579 00:21:23,968 --> 00:21:26,503 gang stuff inside Disneyland. 580 00:21:26,604 --> 00:21:27,705 So there's, like, an initiation 581 00:21:27,805 --> 00:21:30,441 where you have to, like, stab Goofy or something? 582 00:21:30,541 --> 00:21:32,443 It was-- actually, one of the initiations 583 00:21:32,543 --> 00:21:35,879 was you had to steal the apple from the Snow White ride. 584 00:21:35,980 --> 00:21:38,515 And the apple kept getting stolen so many times, 585 00:21:38,616 --> 00:21:41,118 that they had to make it a hologram, 586 00:21:41,218 --> 00:21:42,820 not a physical apple anymore. 587 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,656 But don't ask me how I know about Disneyland gangs, 588 00:21:45,756 --> 00:21:47,324 because I will not say. 589 00:21:47,458 --> 00:21:48,692 Yeah. 590 00:21:48,792 --> 00:21:50,594 It's not like you're wearing gang colors right now at all. 591 00:21:50,694 --> 00:21:53,464 No. 592 00:21:53,530 --> 00:21:54,765 Right. 593 00:21:54,865 --> 00:21:59,103 But I will say, I did get banned from Disneyland for 30 594 00:21:59,203 --> 00:22:03,374 days, because I took a photo in a secret bathroom 595 00:22:03,474 --> 00:22:05,743 inside Disneyland, which is illegal-- 596 00:22:05,843 --> 00:22:07,077 at Disneyland. 597 00:22:07,177 --> 00:22:09,813 And I got officially banned for 30 days. 598 00:22:09,914 --> 00:22:11,582 But they called me up and said, Rebel, 599 00:22:11,682 --> 00:22:13,984 what 30 days do you not want to come to Disneyland, 600 00:22:14,084 --> 00:22:15,853 because you're away filming a movie or something? 601 00:22:15,953 --> 00:22:18,856 And I said, oh, June would be fine. 602 00:22:18,956 --> 00:22:20,558 HASAN MINHAJ: That's how I know you're a celebrity. 603 00:22:20,658 --> 00:22:22,026 (LAUGHING) Yeah. 604 00:22:22,126 --> 00:22:24,995 Like, Disneyland has Met Gala rules, where 605 00:22:25,095 --> 00:22:26,530 they're like, no photos here. 606 00:22:26,630 --> 00:22:28,265 And then, you break it, and then they're like, look, 607 00:22:28,432 --> 00:22:29,867 we have to punish you, but looking 608 00:22:29,967 --> 00:22:33,837 at your Google Calendar, what month works for you? 609 00:22:33,938 --> 00:22:34,872 Yeah. 610 00:22:34,972 --> 00:22:37,041 Do you-- as a Disney adult, do you have 611 00:22:37,141 --> 00:22:38,342 beef with quidditch adults? 612 00:22:38,442 --> 00:22:40,544 Because there's adults that play in quidditch leagues. 613 00:22:40,644 --> 00:22:42,179 Oh. (LAUGHING) Do they? 614 00:22:42,279 --> 00:22:43,581 Yeah, yeah. 615 00:22:43,681 --> 00:22:44,615 You're laughing at them? 616 00:22:44,715 --> 00:22:47,051 I mean, I like Harry Potter as well. 617 00:22:47,151 --> 00:22:48,052 You're like, yeah. 618 00:22:48,152 --> 00:22:49,453 Yeah, oh, my god. 619 00:22:49,553 --> 00:22:52,222 Dorks. 620 00:22:52,323 --> 00:22:53,891 No, I don't have beef with everyone. 621 00:22:53,991 --> 00:22:56,093 I'm just, like, spreading love, and you know. 622 00:22:56,193 --> 00:22:57,094 Yeah. 623 00:22:57,194 --> 00:22:59,129 [laughter] 624 00:22:59,230 --> 00:23:00,564 - Can I ask you a question? - OK. 625 00:23:00,664 --> 00:23:02,066 I always wanted to-- 626 00:23:02,166 --> 00:23:03,467 I haven't done it yet. 627 00:23:03,567 --> 00:23:09,173 But I heard there is this, like, Disney Illuminati. 628 00:23:09,273 --> 00:23:12,576 It's called Club 33. 629 00:23:12,676 --> 00:23:14,478 Uh-- yeah, I know about this. 630 00:23:14,578 --> 00:23:15,746 HASAN MINHAJ: So-- 631 00:23:15,846 --> 00:23:16,747 Because I'm in it. 632 00:23:16,847 --> 00:23:18,482 I'm in it. 633 00:23:18,549 --> 00:23:19,750 HASAN MINHAJ: So what-- 634 00:23:19,850 --> 00:23:20,884 this is a private conversation. 635 00:23:20,985 --> 00:23:22,386 Yeah. 636 00:23:22,486 --> 00:23:23,621 I mean, it is-- yeah. 637 00:23:23,721 --> 00:23:25,155 You're not supposed to say you're in it. 638 00:23:25,256 --> 00:23:27,091 You're not supposed to reveal other celebrities who 639 00:23:27,191 --> 00:23:29,226 are in it, or other members. 640 00:23:29,326 --> 00:23:30,494 But yeah, I am in it. 641 00:23:30,594 --> 00:23:34,899 And we do secret cool shit together. 642 00:23:34,999 --> 00:23:37,434 Like, sometimes we go into Disneyland at 5:00 643 00:23:37,501 --> 00:23:40,771 AM in the morning, just run around. 644 00:23:40,871 --> 00:23:42,206 - Oh, my god. - Yeah, we do-- 645 00:23:42,306 --> 00:23:43,173 Really? 646 00:23:43,274 --> 00:23:44,508 Yeah. 647 00:23:44,608 --> 00:23:49,179 I have a secret gathering this weekend in Palm Springs. 648 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,082 Because Walt Disney used to go there to find inspiration. 649 00:23:52,182 --> 00:23:53,817 HASAN MINHAJ: I don't know if you're [bleep] with me 650 00:23:53,918 --> 00:23:54,818 right now. 651 00:23:54,919 --> 00:23:56,587 No, this is totally real. 652 00:23:56,687 --> 00:23:58,088 Sometimes I say things that sound like jokes, 653 00:23:58,188 --> 00:23:59,089 but it's totally real. 654 00:23:59,189 --> 00:24:00,457 But it's totally real? OK. 655 00:24:00,524 --> 00:24:01,525 Yeah. 656 00:24:01,625 --> 00:24:03,327 I'll go on a Reddit deep dive and confirm. 657 00:24:03,460 --> 00:24:04,595 Yeah. 658 00:24:04,695 --> 00:24:08,198 I want to talk to you about this amazing dating app 659 00:24:08,299 --> 00:24:09,466 you have, called Fluid. - Thank you. 660 00:24:09,567 --> 00:24:10,801 It's new. 661 00:24:10,901 --> 00:24:12,570 Like, none of the other dating apps have thought of this, 662 00:24:12,670 --> 00:24:17,708 and I was like, well, I thought of it, so trademark that shit. 663 00:24:17,808 --> 00:24:20,811 Yeah, it's called Fluid, and basically, when I was-- 664 00:24:20,911 --> 00:24:22,212 I wasn't so lucky in love. 665 00:24:22,313 --> 00:24:23,581 I was kind of like a late bloomer. 666 00:24:23,681 --> 00:24:27,451 And when you joined a dating app, 667 00:24:27,551 --> 00:24:29,119 which I did-- this one called Raya, 668 00:24:29,219 --> 00:24:30,621 and you had to, like, tick-- 669 00:24:30,721 --> 00:24:32,523 you had to label yourself, and then label 670 00:24:32,623 --> 00:24:33,791 what you were interested in. 671 00:24:33,891 --> 00:24:34,792 HASAN MINHAJ: OK. 672 00:24:34,892 --> 00:24:36,460 And to me, I kind of, like-- 673 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,229 it felt really weird to, like, tick a box 674 00:24:38,329 --> 00:24:40,064 and say, yes, I'm that. 675 00:24:40,164 --> 00:24:41,532 And so I wanted to create a dating app where 676 00:24:41,632 --> 00:24:43,334 you don't have to label yourself, 677 00:24:43,434 --> 00:24:44,902 so it's love without labels. 678 00:24:45,002 --> 00:24:47,204 And to me, it's really important, 679 00:24:47,304 --> 00:24:49,740 because I think sexuality is so much more 680 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:54,245 nuanced and complex than just labeling yourself like you're 681 00:24:54,345 --> 00:24:57,615 a can of food or something. 682 00:24:57,715 --> 00:25:00,684 And so I wish that Fluid was an app that was available, 683 00:25:00,784 --> 00:25:02,453 like, five years ago, because that would 684 00:25:02,486 --> 00:25:06,223 have really helped me a lot. 685 00:25:06,323 --> 00:25:08,359 HASAN MINHAJ: I was pretty dating apps. 686 00:25:08,459 --> 00:25:09,460 So you've never been on one? 687 00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:10,861 Never been. i'm. 688 00:25:10,961 --> 00:25:11,829 MS-DOS. 689 00:25:11,929 --> 00:25:13,230 I'm like Windows 95. 690 00:25:13,330 --> 00:25:14,598 Old-school chivalry. 691 00:25:14,698 --> 00:25:17,001 My move was, in college, with my wife, 692 00:25:17,101 --> 00:25:19,370 I basically just went to the registrar's office, 693 00:25:19,470 --> 00:25:22,973 and then took all the classes she was taking. 694 00:25:23,073 --> 00:25:24,074 Oh, that's-- yeah. 695 00:25:24,174 --> 00:25:25,943 Until she broke up with her boyfriend. 696 00:25:26,043 --> 00:25:27,044 Ah! 697 00:25:27,144 --> 00:25:28,612 Yeah, yeah, I was laid back in the cut. 698 00:25:28,712 --> 00:25:32,583 You have to respect how long I held my plank. 699 00:25:32,683 --> 00:25:37,655 Because I was premed for two years. 700 00:25:37,755 --> 00:25:38,656 OK? 701 00:25:38,756 --> 00:25:40,157 And I should not be premed. 702 00:25:40,257 --> 00:25:41,425 I should not-- 703 00:25:41,492 --> 00:25:42,426 Just, wait. 704 00:25:42,526 --> 00:25:43,794 When you say, plank, what do you mean? 705 00:25:43,894 --> 00:25:46,964 I'm like-- you know when you're, like, exercising, 706 00:25:47,064 --> 00:25:48,766 they're like, hold the plank! - OK, oh, yeah. 707 00:25:48,866 --> 00:25:50,501 Maybe that's just that Barry's Bootcamp that I go to. 708 00:25:50,601 --> 00:25:51,502 Yeah. All right. 709 00:25:51,602 --> 00:25:53,037 OK. Yeah. 710 00:25:53,137 --> 00:25:58,542 But the question that I had was, how 711 00:25:58,642 --> 00:26:01,879 do you initiate conversation? 712 00:26:01,979 --> 00:26:03,280 REBEL WILSON: That's a good question. 713 00:26:03,447 --> 00:26:05,149 Yeah, because people are going to be going on Fluid. 714 00:26:05,249 --> 00:26:07,017 They're going to be matching, and then they're like, ah, 715 00:26:07,117 --> 00:26:08,018 what do I do? 716 00:26:08,118 --> 00:26:09,286 What do I say? 717 00:26:09,453 --> 00:26:10,754 HASAN MINHAJ: How do you-- how do you start? 718 00:26:10,854 --> 00:26:13,057 Do what I do-- koala emoji. 719 00:26:13,157 --> 00:26:14,458 Just put it in, bang. 720 00:26:14,558 --> 00:26:16,860 Like, you match with someone, send them a koala emoji. 721 00:26:16,961 --> 00:26:20,464 It could mean multiple things. 722 00:26:20,564 --> 00:26:22,166 I mean, maybe it particularly worked for me, 723 00:26:22,266 --> 00:26:23,167 because I'm Australian. 724 00:26:23,267 --> 00:26:24,602 Yeah. 725 00:26:24,702 --> 00:26:26,203 But yeah. 726 00:26:26,303 --> 00:26:28,472 I mean, it's interesting what-- some people just do, like, 727 00:26:28,572 --> 00:26:30,841 a wave emoji or something, like, 728 00:26:30,941 --> 00:26:34,411 not even just a sentence. (LAUGHING) Just an emoji. 729 00:26:34,445 --> 00:26:35,913 I was like, what are you supposed to write back 730 00:26:36,013 --> 00:26:37,648 when someone does the hey? HASAN MINHAJ: I have no idea. 731 00:26:37,748 --> 00:26:38,782 Yeah. I mean, it's hard. 732 00:26:38,882 --> 00:26:40,251 HASAN MINHAJ: Well, the hey is kind of just-- 733 00:26:40,417 --> 00:26:41,719 do you take it as-- is that too much? 734 00:26:41,819 --> 00:26:43,087 No. 735 00:26:43,187 --> 00:26:43,988 HASAN MINHAJ: Or are you like, oh, they're waving me down, 736 00:26:44,088 --> 00:26:45,256 like hey-- 737 00:26:45,422 --> 00:26:46,891 What would be too much-- he's, like, calling you "babe" 738 00:26:46,991 --> 00:26:49,059 in the first message. 739 00:26:49,159 --> 00:26:51,962 You don't get to "babe" until you've been on, like, 740 00:26:52,062 --> 00:26:53,864 five dates at least, I think. 741 00:26:53,964 --> 00:26:55,065 HASAN MINHAJ: Yeah, "babe" is a lot. 742 00:26:55,165 --> 00:26:57,635 Yeah, or like, just saying, what about we 743 00:26:57,735 --> 00:26:59,336 meet at Starbucks at 11:00 AM? 744 00:26:59,436 --> 00:27:02,473 Like, you know-- 745 00:27:02,573 --> 00:27:03,707 HASAN MINHAJ: What's wrong with that? 746 00:27:03,807 --> 00:27:05,609 'Cause you wouldn't walk up to somebody in a bar. 747 00:27:05,709 --> 00:27:06,744 HASAN MINHAJ: I love-- I would love-- 748 00:27:06,844 --> 00:27:07,878 But then, it wouldn't be your opening line. 749 00:27:07,978 --> 00:27:09,046 You've got to have a bit of banter. 750 00:27:09,146 --> 00:27:10,281 OK, so-- yeah. 751 00:27:10,447 --> 00:27:11,582 So what I recommend to people is 752 00:27:11,682 --> 00:27:13,150 to do a little bit of banter. 753 00:27:13,250 --> 00:27:16,287 And then, get down to business about when and where 754 00:27:16,453 --> 00:27:18,088 you're going to meet up-- in a public place, for 755 00:27:18,188 --> 00:27:19,356 safety, always. 756 00:27:19,456 --> 00:27:20,457 HASAN MINHAJ: Right. 757 00:27:20,558 --> 00:27:22,526 I did one experiment called the Year of Love 758 00:27:22,626 --> 00:27:24,929 in 2019, where I went out with everybody who asked 759 00:27:25,029 --> 00:27:26,564 me out, as an experiment. 760 00:27:26,664 --> 00:27:27,598 So-- 761 00:27:27,698 --> 00:27:29,099 HASAN MINHAJ: How is that not a movie? 762 00:27:29,199 --> 00:27:30,601 - Oh, it should be. - It should be. 763 00:27:30,701 --> 00:27:31,702 Yeah, I think I might-- 764 00:27:31,802 --> 00:27:33,070 You just yes-and-ed every-- that's, like, 765 00:27:33,170 --> 00:27:34,438 the craziest improv class. 766 00:27:34,538 --> 00:27:35,439 Yeah. 767 00:27:35,539 --> 00:27:37,808 Everybody who said "yes," unless they 768 00:27:37,908 --> 00:27:38,809 were in a federal prison-- 769 00:27:38,909 --> 00:27:39,910 OK. 770 00:27:40,010 --> 00:27:41,445 --I went out with. That was the one caveat. 771 00:27:41,545 --> 00:27:42,446 Uh-huh. 772 00:27:42,546 --> 00:27:45,115 And so I did get really good at dating, 773 00:27:45,215 --> 00:27:48,118 because I felt like, in my 20s, I was studying and working, 774 00:27:48,218 --> 00:27:52,122 so I didn't really date much, so I had no experience. 775 00:27:52,222 --> 00:27:55,192 So I spent one year really focusing on dating. 776 00:27:55,292 --> 00:27:58,963 But yeah, I would just say, banter it off, and then set up 777 00:27:59,063 --> 00:28:00,731 a meeting in a public place. HASAN MINHAJ: OK. 778 00:28:00,831 --> 00:28:01,732 Safety. 779 00:28:01,832 --> 00:28:02,833 Yeah. 780 00:28:02,933 --> 00:28:04,435 Can I ask you about that opening "hey"? 781 00:28:04,535 --> 00:28:05,436 OK. 782 00:28:05,536 --> 00:28:08,005 Do you go, capital H-E-Y? 783 00:28:08,105 --> 00:28:09,673 Do you go-- this is serious. - That's shouting. 784 00:28:09,773 --> 00:28:10,674 That's shouting. 785 00:28:10,774 --> 00:28:11,675 What? 786 00:28:11,775 --> 00:28:12,776 Yeah, if you capitalize that. 787 00:28:12,876 --> 00:28:13,744 What about-- 788 00:28:13,844 --> 00:28:15,012 It's like saying-- (SHOUTING) Hey! 789 00:28:15,112 --> 00:28:16,113 No, no, no. 790 00:28:16,213 --> 00:28:17,514 And then, you could come off as aggressive. 791 00:28:17,615 --> 00:28:19,149 No, Rebel, all caps-- 792 00:28:19,250 --> 00:28:22,019 capital H, capital E, capital Y, exclamation point-- 793 00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:23,787 that's-- (SHOUTING) Hey! 794 00:28:23,887 --> 00:28:25,122 It's more like, hey. 795 00:28:25,222 --> 00:28:27,324 Yeah, you want to do, like, more like a Hamilton 796 00:28:27,424 --> 00:28:28,425 "hey," which is like, hey. 797 00:28:28,525 --> 00:28:29,426 You know? 798 00:28:29,526 --> 00:28:31,962 Oh, you're so cool. 799 00:28:32,062 --> 00:28:33,097 You know what I realized do? 800 00:28:33,197 --> 00:28:34,131 So I would do lowercase. 801 00:28:34,231 --> 00:28:36,800 When you text, do you use punctuation? 802 00:28:36,901 --> 00:28:39,336 Do you capital-H-E-Y, or do you do all lowercase? 803 00:28:39,436 --> 00:28:40,337 Are you like, "hey"? 804 00:28:40,437 --> 00:28:41,705 I do punctuation. 805 00:28:41,805 --> 00:28:43,674 Maybe it's because I'm a law school graduate. 806 00:28:43,774 --> 00:28:44,775 HASAN MINHAJ: Yeah, me, too. 807 00:28:44,875 --> 00:28:45,776 But I didn't know-- 808 00:28:45,876 --> 00:28:47,311 I didn't know that's corny now. 809 00:28:47,411 --> 00:28:49,647 Like, now, it's all ironic detachment. 810 00:28:49,747 --> 00:28:51,615 I think that's a sign of good education. 811 00:28:51,715 --> 00:28:53,484 Yeah. OK, thank you. 812 00:28:53,584 --> 00:28:54,551 Thank you. 813 00:28:54,652 --> 00:29:00,391 [applause] 814 00:29:00,491 --> 00:29:04,728 I wanted to ask you, what is an instant red flag 815 00:29:04,828 --> 00:29:06,564 for a dating profile? 816 00:29:06,664 --> 00:29:08,232 OK, there's some things-- 817 00:29:08,332 --> 00:29:10,034 a man holding a fish. 818 00:29:10,134 --> 00:29:13,837 [laughter] 819 00:29:13,938 --> 00:29:15,773 (LAUGHING) Why? 820 00:29:15,873 --> 00:29:16,807 He loves nature! 821 00:29:16,907 --> 00:29:21,579 No, something weird about it. 822 00:29:21,679 --> 00:29:24,815 Also, girl on a horse. 823 00:29:24,915 --> 00:29:26,550 No. 824 00:29:26,650 --> 00:29:27,785 Horse girls? 825 00:29:27,885 --> 00:29:29,086 They're a bit-- 826 00:29:29,186 --> 00:29:31,322 What about Machu Picchu-- what about Machu Picchu guy? 827 00:29:31,455 --> 00:29:32,990 I have a lot of guy friends that are like, 828 00:29:33,090 --> 00:29:34,658 sunglasses, Machu Picchu. 829 00:29:34,758 --> 00:29:36,026 - Oh, what is Machu-- - It's in Peru. 830 00:29:36,126 --> 00:29:37,161 It's like a-- 831 00:29:37,261 --> 00:29:39,296 Oh, and they're near the pyramids or something-- 832 00:29:39,463 --> 00:29:40,831 It's kind of like-- it's not the pyramid. 833 00:29:40,931 --> 00:29:42,633 That's in Egypt, but-- - Oh, OK. 834 00:29:42,733 --> 00:29:43,901 Yeah. 835 00:29:44,001 --> 00:29:45,536 But it is like a civilization built into a mountain, 836 00:29:45,636 --> 00:29:46,804 but they'll be, like, at the top of it, 837 00:29:46,904 --> 00:29:48,472 and they're just like, "I'm Mike," you know? 838 00:29:48,539 --> 00:29:50,474 And it's just like, sunglasses and-- 839 00:29:50,574 --> 00:29:52,276 Like, they're saying they've climbed this, 840 00:29:52,376 --> 00:29:53,611 and they might climb you? 841 00:29:53,711 --> 00:29:55,379 HASAN MINHAJ: I think what they're-- 842 00:29:55,479 --> 00:29:56,814 well, OK. - Is that-- 843 00:29:56,914 --> 00:29:58,349 - I thought it-- - That could be hot. 844 00:29:58,482 --> 00:29:59,483 That could be hot. 845 00:29:59,550 --> 00:30:01,485 I think it was more like, I'm well-traveled, 846 00:30:01,585 --> 00:30:02,620 and I'm interesting. 847 00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:03,821 Oh, OK, OK. 848 00:30:03,921 --> 00:30:05,522 Yeah, well, you can read lots of things. 849 00:30:05,623 --> 00:30:07,024 I mean, I definitely-- when I was on the apps, 850 00:30:07,124 --> 00:30:09,026 I would look at people's phones and try to, like, 851 00:30:09,126 --> 00:30:10,895 work out things about them. 852 00:30:10,995 --> 00:30:12,630 And if I thought they were, like, cool-- 853 00:30:12,730 --> 00:30:14,164 HASAN MINHAJ: Really? - Yeah. 854 00:30:14,265 --> 00:30:16,400 Yeah, but sometimes you can never tell, and some of them 855 00:30:16,500 --> 00:30:17,735 do have a criminal record. 856 00:30:17,835 --> 00:30:20,004 [laughter] 857 00:30:20,104 --> 00:30:21,605 HASAN MINHAJ: How many criminals have you dated? 858 00:30:21,705 --> 00:30:22,606 A couple. 859 00:30:22,706 --> 00:30:23,974 (LAUGHING) Oh, my god. 860 00:30:24,074 --> 00:30:26,443 I do have the number of the FBI. 861 00:30:26,510 --> 00:30:27,645 What? 862 00:30:27,745 --> 00:30:30,281 Because they volunteered to check people out for me. 863 00:30:30,447 --> 00:30:31,548 Yeah. 864 00:30:31,649 --> 00:30:33,550 HASAN MINHAJ: OK, we're putting Fluid, the app, here. 865 00:30:33,651 --> 00:30:34,551 Wait, what? 866 00:30:34,652 --> 00:30:36,086 Yeah, yeah. 867 00:30:36,186 --> 00:30:38,322 I don't know whether they do this for all actors, 868 00:30:38,455 --> 00:30:40,758 but they're like, if you ever want 869 00:30:40,858 --> 00:30:43,928 a background-check somebody, you let us know 870 00:30:44,028 --> 00:30:45,129 their name and their number. 871 00:30:45,229 --> 00:30:48,933 And so I did. 872 00:30:49,033 --> 00:30:52,136 It turns out that guy had an assault charge from Chicago. 873 00:30:52,236 --> 00:30:56,507 And yeah, and then-- and then, I said, how bad is that? 874 00:30:56,607 --> 00:30:57,741 Because he was quite hot. 875 00:30:57,841 --> 00:31:00,244 And then, they go, oh, I wouldn't 876 00:31:00,344 --> 00:31:01,679 let my daughter date him. 877 00:31:01,779 --> 00:31:03,514 So I said, OK, and I ended it. 878 00:31:03,614 --> 00:31:05,916 So the FBI has really helped me. 879 00:31:06,016 --> 00:31:06,984 HASAN MINHAJ: OK. 880 00:31:07,084 --> 00:31:10,287 (LAUGHING) I can't believe I'm saying that. 881 00:31:10,387 --> 00:31:13,190 [applause] 882 00:31:13,290 --> 00:31:14,625 I do love the FBI. 883 00:31:14,725 --> 00:31:16,594 The peaks and valleys of that story 884 00:31:16,694 --> 00:31:17,995 is kind of like Machu Picchu. 885 00:31:18,095 --> 00:31:19,029 Yeah, OK. 886 00:31:19,129 --> 00:31:20,064 HASAN MINHAJ: OK. 887 00:31:20,164 --> 00:31:22,967 Obviously, you founded this amazing app. 888 00:31:23,067 --> 00:31:23,968 And-- 889 00:31:24,068 --> 00:31:25,202 Not many females in tech. 890 00:31:25,302 --> 00:31:26,203 Yeah. 891 00:31:26,303 --> 00:31:27,438 So I was like, let me get in there. 892 00:31:27,471 --> 00:31:29,073 It's an amazing-- Yeah, OK. 893 00:31:29,173 --> 00:31:30,674 That's an amazing accomplishment. 894 00:31:30,774 --> 00:31:34,445 [cheering, applause] 895 00:31:34,545 --> 00:31:36,213 How do you think this app would have changed 896 00:31:36,313 --> 00:31:38,515 your life five years ago? 897 00:31:38,616 --> 00:31:40,251 Um, I think it would have-- 898 00:31:40,351 --> 00:31:41,885 I was someone who, like-- 899 00:31:41,986 --> 00:31:44,154 I was kind of dating guys, but I didn't 900 00:31:44,255 --> 00:31:45,856 think I was 100% straight. 901 00:31:45,956 --> 00:31:48,192 But I just-- I grew up in a very conservative 902 00:31:48,292 --> 00:31:50,527 Christian background, and so I never quite explored 903 00:31:50,628 --> 00:31:53,998 that area, whereas the cool thing with Fluid is, like, 904 00:31:54,098 --> 00:31:56,133 maybe a woman would have popped up, 905 00:31:56,233 --> 00:31:58,168 and I would have been like, oh, yeah. 906 00:31:58,269 --> 00:32:00,170 And there's no judgments to, like, chat 907 00:32:00,271 --> 00:32:02,573 to someone on Fluid, and you would have just chatted 908 00:32:02,673 --> 00:32:04,808 to them, and maybe I would have, like, gotten 909 00:32:04,909 --> 00:32:07,177 to know somebody quicker. 910 00:32:07,278 --> 00:32:10,014 Yeah, so I kind of wish it was around earlier, 911 00:32:10,114 --> 00:32:12,483 and that's why I wanted to make it and put it 912 00:32:12,583 --> 00:32:13,951 out there, and have it be a free app 913 00:32:14,051 --> 00:32:15,252 that people could download. 914 00:32:15,352 --> 00:32:16,720 And hopefully, it will help lots of people find love. 915 00:32:16,820 --> 00:32:18,322 And you could be, like, totally straight on it. 916 00:32:18,489 --> 00:32:19,690 You could be gay. 917 00:32:19,790 --> 00:32:22,059 You could be, like, in any of the intersectional queerness 918 00:32:22,159 --> 00:32:24,495 that's out there, and find love on this. 919 00:32:24,562 --> 00:32:26,931 And it actually just widens the dating pool. 920 00:32:27,031 --> 00:32:28,499 And sure, some people you won't be interested 921 00:32:28,599 --> 00:32:31,535 in, and then the algorithm will learn not to send 922 00:32:31,635 --> 00:32:32,636 you too many of those people. 923 00:32:32,736 --> 00:32:34,505 But they might show you a wild card. 924 00:32:34,605 --> 00:32:37,241 It's like when you're shopping for, like, a cheesecake, 925 00:32:37,341 --> 00:32:39,677 and you might not know what flavor you want until you 926 00:32:39,777 --> 00:32:41,278 see it in front of you. HASAN MINHAJ: Right. 927 00:32:41,445 --> 00:32:42,646 And then, yeah-- 928 00:32:42,746 --> 00:32:44,448 [cheering, applause] 929 00:32:44,515 --> 00:32:45,950 And you're like, oh, yeah-- 930 00:32:46,050 --> 00:32:46,951 That's amazing. 931 00:32:47,051 --> 00:32:48,085 That's tasty. 932 00:32:48,185 --> 00:32:50,454 Everyone, please be sure to check 933 00:32:50,554 --> 00:32:51,855 out the Fluid dating app. 934 00:32:51,956 --> 00:32:53,591 Rebel Wilson, thank you so much. 935 00:32:53,691 --> 00:32:56,660 Thank you. 936 00:32:56,760 --> 00:32:58,229 OK. 937 00:32:58,329 --> 00:33:00,864 We're gonna take a quick break, but we'll 938 00:33:00,965 --> 00:33:02,833 be right back after this. 939 00:33:02,933 --> 00:33:03,834 Rebel Wilson! 940 00:33:03,934 --> 00:33:07,605 [cheering, applause] 941 00:33:15,049 --> 00:33:19,554 [applause] 942 00:33:19,654 --> 00:33:21,489 That's our show for tonight. 943 00:33:21,589 --> 00:33:23,191 But before we go, please consider 944 00:33:23,291 --> 00:33:25,193 supporting Vituity Cares. 945 00:33:25,293 --> 00:33:26,627 They're an organization that fights 946 00:33:26,727 --> 00:33:28,763 health inequality by caring for our most 947 00:33:28,863 --> 00:33:29,997 vulnerable communities. 948 00:33:30,098 --> 00:33:31,566 If you want to support their work, 949 00:33:31,666 --> 00:33:33,835 please donate at the link below. 950 00:33:33,935 --> 00:33:36,737 Now here it is, your moment of zen. 951 00:33:36,838 --> 00:33:39,307 Every once in a while, a revolutionary product comes 952 00:33:39,407 --> 00:33:41,509 along that changes everything. 953 00:33:41,609 --> 00:33:43,277 NARRATOR 1: The greatest advance in television 954 00:33:43,377 --> 00:33:45,313 since color television itself. 955 00:33:45,413 --> 00:33:46,981 NARRATOR 2: Microwave cooking units 956 00:33:47,081 --> 00:33:48,583 are indeed revolutionary. 957 00:33:48,683 --> 00:33:52,153 NARRATOR 3: Sony Walkman is a tiny stereo cassette player 958 00:33:52,253 --> 00:33:54,422 with truly incredible sound. 959 00:33:54,522 --> 00:33:56,791 NARRATOR 4: Everything you ever thought possible and 960 00:33:56,891 --> 00:33:58,793 impossible in a home computer. 961 00:33:58,893 --> 00:34:00,661 Why is everyone so excited about Motorola 962 00:34:00,762 --> 00:34:01,763 StarTAC cellular phone? 963 00:34:01,863 --> 00:34:03,464 I can't even see the battery. 964 00:34:03,564 --> 00:34:05,433 What other phone can you wear like this? 965 00:34:05,533 --> 00:34:07,468 (SINGING) MTV.