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[theme music]
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ANNOUNCER: From New York City,
the only city in America,
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it's the show that
invented news.
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This is The Daily Show with
your host, Marlon Wayans.
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[cheering]
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Oh, welcome to
The Daily Show.
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I'm Marlon Wayans.
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Yes, I'm back for night two.
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I had no idea they do this
shit every single day.
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Nobody warned me
that The Daily Show
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was actually a daily show.
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I thought that shit was just
a fun name or something.
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All right, we've got a
great show for you tonight.
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Why?
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Because I'm on it.
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Let's get to the headlines.
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[cheering]
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I was watching Fox News
last night because--
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[laughter]
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Because, apparently,
I hate my life.
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But I learned something.
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You know how the whole world
remembers January 6 as the day
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a bunch of violent Trump fans
stormed into the Capitol?
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Well, according to Fox News,
we just got the footage wrong.
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REPORTER: Fox News host Tucker
Carlson aired the first clips
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of the unseen January
6 surveillance footage
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given to him by
Speaker Kevin McCarthy.
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On his show last night, he said
the insurrection was mostly
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peaceful chaos, adding
that the people who forced
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themselves into the
Capitol weren't
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quote, "insurrectionists."
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They were sightseers.
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We're going to begin
tonight with footage
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that shows you
what was actually
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happening inside the Capitol.
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And that video tells a very
different story about what
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happened on January 6.
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Protesters queue up
in neat little lines.
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They give each other tours
outside the Speaker's office.
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They take cheerful
selfies, and they smile.
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They're not destroying
the Capitol.
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They obviously
revere the Capitol.
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Sightseeing, my Black ass.
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If you have to punch
a cop on your way in,
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you're not sightseeing.
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You fight seeing.
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[laughter]
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[applause]
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All Tucker Carlson
proved is that you
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can make anything look better
by not showing the bad part.
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How come they never show
9/11 planes taking off?
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[laughter]
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In a way, some of this footage
is even more disturbing.
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Like, there was
this guy at the ride
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who was just cleaning shit up.
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[laughter]
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That's a straight
up psychopath.
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I bet this guy goes to the
orgies and does Wordle.
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Guys, I got it.
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I got it in four guesses.
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Come on, guys.
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Stop [bleep] each other.
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Put your dick away.
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It's grape!
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But enough about January 6.
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Let's talk about an
even worse crime.
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Some wax museum in Poland
decided to make statues
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of the British royal family.
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And, boy, look how
[bleep] up they are.
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REPORTER: William and Kate like
we've never seen them before.
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REPORTER: Wax figures are on
display at a museum in Poland,
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supposedly in the
likeness of Prince
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William and Kate Middleton.
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REPORTER: Footage
of the figures
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went viral this week after New
Zealand visitors began sharing
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them, saying the
figures don't look
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much like the royal couple.
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I don't know, people.
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They're pretty good statues.
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I mean, pale skin, scary
teeth, the dead eyes
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look just like British people.
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[laughter]
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No, seriously, these statues--
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look at their smiles.
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They look like they
just called Meghan
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Markle nigga under her breath.
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[laughter]
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(STRAINED) Nigga.
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[laughs] Nigga.
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They look like they're
auditioning for the sequel
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to Smile.
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And the Kate one, she's
especially [bleep] up.
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She looked like me
in White Chicks.
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[laughter]
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[applause]
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Now, finally, let's
talk about the greatest
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threat facing America today--
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our kids are eating
too much candy,
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with weed in it.
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REPORTER: The FDA has issued
a warning about children
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accidentally ingesting
products with THC,
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with many made
in packaging that
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looks like brand-name
candies and cereals,
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something kids could
easily confuse.
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The FDA warning--
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"Accidental ingestion
of these products
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can lead to serious
adverse events,
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especially in children."
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A recent study links
the dramatic increase
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in cases of kids accidentally
ingesting cannabis to
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the legalization of marijuana.
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Researchers have
seen a nearly 1,400%
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increase, with about
200 cases reported
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in 2017 compared to more
than 3,000 cases in 2021.
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Wait.
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How can you even tell
if a little kid is high?
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[laughter]
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No, because them little
[bleep] always sound high.
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Daddy, if a cloud had legs,
would it be a snowman?
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Nigga, you in my stash again?
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And weed isn't just dangerous
for little children.
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It's also dangerous for adult
children like Chet Hanks.
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Go suck on your mama
dot, you stinking crotches!
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[spits] Spit on
your griney grave.
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I'm sorry, Tom.
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I'm just saying the
shit you'd want to say.
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So, parents, please,
be responsible.
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For the health and the
well-being of your family,
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send me your drugs
for safekeeping.
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[laughter]
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[applause]
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I might get some back to you.
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For real, though, here's
what I want to know.
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Why is weed the only
drug put in food?
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How come there's no
crack in edibles?
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Think about it.
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They already got
Hershey Krackel.
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You're halfway there.
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Just put the crack in it.
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And for more on this story,
let's go to Dulcé Sloan.
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Dulcé.
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Hello, friends.
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[cheering]
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How can parents
stop kids from getting
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into their edibles?
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I'll tell you how.
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How about these grown-ass
adults stop taking
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edibles in the first place?
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You shouldn't be
like a little kid
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who needs an imaginary
plane to eat his vegetables.
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You're 35 years old.
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Smoke a [bleep] blunt
like you pay taxes.
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Grow up.
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That-- that's a little harsh.
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Smoke the drugs.
Stop playing with people.
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I know, but that's
a little harsh.
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Some people, you know, have--
they like a little flavor
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in their high.
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Weed has flavor.
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The flavor is weed.
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[laughter]
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If you can't handle
it, you can't have it.
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All these people are trying
to eat instead of smoke.
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Mm-mm.
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You smoke to earn your way
to the munchies, all right?
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[laughter]
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Listen.
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MARLON WAYANS: OK--
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Listen, you can't
combine the two.
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That's just lazy.
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Come on.
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OK, but if people are
going to take edibles,
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how can they stop their
kids from getting into them?
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Well, look, I want
to help because I'm
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a good Christian woman.
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Hallelujah.
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The problem is right
now the packaging
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is too attractive to kids.
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So how about this
packaging, OK?
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See?
Oh, so heavy.
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Oh, my god.
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Why me?
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Listen-- ooh.
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Oh.
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[laughter]
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I mean, this is the hardest
part about being single,
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picking up heavy things.
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You know what I mean?
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See, now, if you put the
edibles in the math book--
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[cheering]
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Who the hell can do
advanced algebra?
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Come on.
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And we all know that
math is a lie, right?
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So-- because, like, the
only thing you really need
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is geometry.
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Measure wall, change your life.
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So, listen, if you put the
drugs in the math book,
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the only kids finding
them are nerds.
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And, frankly, them nerds
need to loosen up anyway.
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Or-- or, you know,
just to help--
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[laughter]
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Instead-- listen, look,
look, look, look, look, look.
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Look.
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Instead of changing the
packaging, change the edible.
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See?
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Green bean edibles with
vitamin T, H, and
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C. [laughter]
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[applause]
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Dulcé, there's
not going to be
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no adult or kid that's going
to be down with that product.
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But it's good, and
it's good for you.
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Listen, I hear what
you're saying, Mr. Marlon.
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And I'mma just tell you,
you sound a little stressed,
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you know?
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So maybe-- just maybe
you need a little visit
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from the airplane.
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Come on.
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00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:52,960
Come on.
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Here comes the plane.
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Choo!
- Come on.
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No, no.
I'll--
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B-- b-- b-- b-- b--
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Stop.
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I'm a grown-ass man.
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I'm not about to do that.
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Nigga, eat the weed.
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00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,942
[cheering]
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00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,310
Dulcé Sloan, everybody.
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00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:13,514
[cheering]
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00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:14,548
All right.
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When we come back,
we're going to have
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a weird interview with the
mayor of New York City.
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Don't go away.
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00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:23,824
[cheering]
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[cheering]
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Welcome back to
The Daily Show.
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When they found out I was
hosting the show this week,
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they asked me if I wanted
to interview the mayor
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of New York, Eric Adams.
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Now, I'm not really
a political guy.
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So I said, [bleep] no.
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But my dear friend 'Quon is
very interested in politics.
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So he sat down with
Mayor Adams to ask
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00:11:03,375 --> 00:11:04,609
him the tough questions.
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Take a look.
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00:11:05,710 --> 00:11:10,348
[music playing]
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How are you, man?
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This dude.
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00:11:13,551 --> 00:11:15,253
[laughs] Good to see you.
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You know you late
when I beat you here.
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00:11:18,890 --> 00:11:20,458
- It's all on time.
- That's how he rolls.
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00:11:20,558 --> 00:11:22,193
What's up?
Feel me?
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00:11:22,294 --> 00:11:23,561
I like your work.
- Thank you.
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00:11:23,662 --> 00:11:24,562
Thank you.
- You know what I mean?
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00:11:24,663 --> 00:11:25,563
Thank you.
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00:11:25,664 --> 00:11:26,831
So, yo, what's up?
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00:11:26,932 --> 00:11:30,669
This is 'Quon, asking the
mayor and real politicians
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real questions that the
real niggas want to know.
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00:11:34,906 --> 00:11:36,074
Feel me?
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All right.
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Mayor, yo, this bug.
262
00:11:40,078 --> 00:11:41,713
Why do I hear that all
the time when I meet people
263
00:11:41,813 --> 00:11:43,148
on the train,
when I meet people
264
00:11:43,248 --> 00:11:45,817
inside a homeless shelter,
when I meet people in the club?
265
00:11:45,850 --> 00:11:48,219
They say, I cannot
believe I'm sitting here
266
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:49,387
kicking it with the mayor.
267
00:11:49,487 --> 00:11:50,889
No, I just can't
believe how much
268
00:11:50,989 --> 00:11:52,090
you look like Damon Wayans.
269
00:11:52,190 --> 00:11:53,959
That shit [bleep] me up, son.
270
00:11:54,059 --> 00:11:54,960
Whoa.
271
00:11:55,060 --> 00:11:57,262
Yo, I'm like, yo, big bug.
272
00:11:57,362 --> 00:12:00,599
You put the mask on--
you be Blankman, bro.
273
00:12:00,699 --> 00:12:02,968
Yo, that's wild
enough, but it's wild.
274
00:12:03,068 --> 00:12:05,003
Like, yo, I voted for you.
275
00:12:05,103 --> 00:12:06,004
I'm lying.
276
00:12:06,104 --> 00:12:07,305
My moms voted for you.
277
00:12:07,405 --> 00:12:08,907
I don't really
[bleep] with that.
278
00:12:09,007 --> 00:12:11,176
No, I don't want them to
come get me for jury Duty
279
00:12:11,276 --> 00:12:13,178
Listen, moms--
all the moms did,
280
00:12:13,278 --> 00:12:14,679
man, because they
saw-- they saw
281
00:12:14,846 --> 00:12:16,848
in me what they see in you.
282
00:12:16,881 --> 00:12:18,116
Yeah, that's deep.
283
00:12:18,216 --> 00:12:20,518
You-- that's some lady
man shit right there.
284
00:12:20,619 --> 00:12:22,487
Yo, Mayor, you buff.
285
00:12:22,587 --> 00:12:23,488
You buff, son.
286
00:12:23,588 --> 00:12:25,090
Got to be.
287
00:12:25,190 --> 00:12:26,191
You the most buff man ever.
288
00:12:26,291 --> 00:12:28,593
You should do an action
movie, like some Arnold
289
00:12:28,693 --> 00:12:29,594
Schwarzenegger shit.
290
00:12:29,694 --> 00:12:30,795
Every day is an
action movie, man.
291
00:12:30,895 --> 00:12:32,931
Some Arnold
"Schwarzenegro" shit.
292
00:12:33,031 --> 00:12:37,302
Yeah, you look like-- yo,
like, is being mayor stress?
293
00:12:37,402 --> 00:12:38,603
ERIC ADAMS: It
depends, you know?
294
00:12:38,703 --> 00:12:41,339
Stressful is growing
up in a neighborhood
295
00:12:41,439 --> 00:12:43,475
not knowing where your
meal is going to come from,
296
00:12:43,575 --> 00:12:46,011
eating that hard-ass cheese
that they used to make us eat.
297
00:12:46,111 --> 00:12:47,012
That's stress.
298
00:12:47,112 --> 00:12:48,146
Right.
299
00:12:48,246 --> 00:12:49,814
So you plan on softening
the government cheese.
300
00:12:49,848 --> 00:12:50,849
You can't soften that, man.
301
00:12:50,949 --> 00:12:52,183
You can melt it.
302
00:12:52,284 --> 00:12:54,085
Tell me the secret because
we used to put it in the oven.
303
00:12:54,185 --> 00:12:55,620
And we'd leave it in
there for a half an hour,
304
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:56,621
and it was still hard.
305
00:12:56,721 --> 00:12:57,656
You had that same shit!
306
00:12:57,822 --> 00:12:59,057
Yo, I couldn't shit for months.
307
00:12:59,157 --> 00:13:00,225
[laughs]
308
00:13:00,325 --> 00:13:01,526
Yo, this bug.
309
00:13:01,626 --> 00:13:02,527
I had a question.
310
00:13:02,627 --> 00:13:03,628
This is random.
311
00:13:03,728 --> 00:13:07,666
How come I can't buy
hot food on my EBT card?
312
00:13:07,832 --> 00:13:08,667
That's a good question.
313
00:13:08,833 --> 00:13:09,668
I didn't even know that.
314
00:13:09,834 --> 00:13:10,835
Bro, just cold shit?
315
00:13:10,936 --> 00:13:12,237
Why poor people got
to eat cold shit?
316
00:13:12,337 --> 00:13:14,005
And they shouldn't.
I didn't know you can't.
317
00:13:14,105 --> 00:13:15,440
Change that.
Veto that.
318
00:13:15,540 --> 00:13:16,508
We changing that bill.
319
00:13:16,608 --> 00:13:17,842
Something we're
going to look at it,
320
00:13:17,876 --> 00:13:19,377
and we're going to name
the bill after you.
321
00:13:19,477 --> 00:13:21,179
- 'Quon.
- Yes.
322
00:13:21,279 --> 00:13:22,213
The 'Quon Bill.
323
00:13:22,314 --> 00:13:23,214
ERIC ADAMS: Yes.
324
00:13:23,315 --> 00:13:24,616
You know me hoes
I'mma get for that?
325
00:13:24,716 --> 00:13:25,617
'Quon Bill.
326
00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:27,919
I got a bill named
after me, ho.
327
00:13:28,019 --> 00:13:30,655
I got a bill named after me.
328
00:13:30,789 --> 00:13:32,824
No, but real talk, let me
get some real serious shit.
329
00:13:32,924 --> 00:13:34,426
You really do be working out.
330
00:13:34,526 --> 00:13:36,461
Got to every
morning, man, 5:00 AM.
331
00:13:36,561 --> 00:13:37,796
Oh, 5:00 AM.
332
00:13:37,829 --> 00:13:41,399
Son, do you or do you
not be in the clubs?
333
00:13:41,499 --> 00:13:43,268
Because I hear you be partying.
334
00:13:43,368 --> 00:13:44,536
Listen, I'm a nightlife man.
335
00:13:44,636 --> 00:13:45,604
I got to test the product.
336
00:13:45,704 --> 00:13:46,938
So, son, how the
[bleep] you going
337
00:13:47,038 --> 00:13:50,809
to say you up at 5:00 AM when
you ain't even sleep, son?
338
00:13:50,875 --> 00:13:53,845
Listen, my dad said, you
hang out with the boys--
339
00:13:53,945 --> 00:13:55,080
you got to get up with the men.
340
00:13:55,180 --> 00:13:56,715
Oh, that's real, son.
341
00:13:56,815 --> 00:13:57,816
Yo, I [bleep] with you, Mayor.
342
00:13:57,849 --> 00:13:59,217
I [bleep] with you.
343
00:13:59,317 --> 00:14:00,919
So let me ask you
some real shit.
344
00:14:01,019 --> 00:14:01,920
Weed--
345
00:14:02,020 --> 00:14:03,054
Yes.
346
00:14:03,154 --> 00:14:04,990
You smoke?
347
00:14:05,090 --> 00:14:06,124
That's a tough question, man.
348
00:14:06,224 --> 00:14:07,125
It's legal.
349
00:14:07,225 --> 00:14:09,361
ERIC ADAMS: [laughs] You know?
350
00:14:09,461 --> 00:14:11,062
No, no, I don't smoke.
351
00:14:11,162 --> 00:14:12,330
Second hand?
352
00:14:12,430 --> 00:14:13,932
ERIC ADAMS: All you got to
do is walk down the block.
353
00:14:14,032 --> 00:14:15,000
Second hand is everywhere now.
354
00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:16,268
Yeah, all right.
All right.
355
00:14:16,368 --> 00:14:18,536
Listen, we made it legal,
but we just don't want it--
356
00:14:18,637 --> 00:14:20,538
we don't want our children
smoking on the way to school.
357
00:14:20,639 --> 00:14:21,673
Right.
358
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:24,109
Or getting that gummy
bears and other bullshit
359
00:14:24,209 --> 00:14:25,543
that they're selling.
360
00:14:25,644 --> 00:14:28,446
You know, we need to
be real clear on that.
361
00:14:28,546 --> 00:14:29,514
Because I know you--
362
00:14:29,614 --> 00:14:30,916
They should
smoke after school.
363
00:14:31,016 --> 00:14:32,284
Yeah.
Now let's get real.
364
00:14:32,384 --> 00:14:33,285
ERIC ADAMS: Yes.
365
00:14:33,385 --> 00:14:35,153
Man, I soften you up.
366
00:14:35,253 --> 00:14:37,322
Now we got some real
shit to ask you.
367
00:14:37,422 --> 00:14:42,327
You said that prayers
go out the classroom--
368
00:14:42,427 --> 00:14:43,328
guns come in.
369
00:14:43,428 --> 00:14:44,329
Mm-hmm.
370
00:14:44,429 --> 00:14:45,497
Now, I'm a church boy.
371
00:14:45,597 --> 00:14:46,898
You know what I'm saying?
I may not look it.
372
00:14:46,998 --> 00:14:48,500
I could tell.
I could tell.
373
00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:49,968
But my grandmother
go to church.
374
00:14:50,068 --> 00:14:50,969
She prayed a lot.
375
00:14:51,069 --> 00:14:52,037
She pray a lot.
376
00:14:52,137 --> 00:14:53,038
That's how you made it.
377
00:14:53,138 --> 00:14:54,906
But, see, prayer
don't always work.
378
00:14:55,006 --> 00:14:56,107
Yes, it does.
379
00:14:56,207 --> 00:15:01,246
No, because my grandma
prayed over my gay cousin
380
00:15:01,346 --> 00:15:02,247
her whole life.
381
00:15:02,347 --> 00:15:05,150
He's still gay as hell.
382
00:15:05,250 --> 00:15:06,985
If your grandmother
prayed for your cousin,
383
00:15:07,085 --> 00:15:11,456
then she going to pray for her
to be happy and find peace.
384
00:15:11,556 --> 00:15:14,459
And that peace may
not be your peace.
385
00:15:14,559 --> 00:15:16,061
Boss.
386
00:15:16,161 --> 00:15:17,829
That man got bars.
387
00:15:17,896 --> 00:15:18,930
All right, I know.
388
00:15:19,030 --> 00:15:20,732
I [bleep] with you, Mayor.
389
00:15:20,832 --> 00:15:25,303
Yo, next time, if I
vote, voting for you.
390
00:15:25,403 --> 00:15:27,839
So with that said,
when exactly did
391
00:15:27,872 --> 00:15:29,841
they take prayers out of the
classroom in New York City?
392
00:15:29,908 --> 00:15:31,042
Some time.
393
00:15:31,142 --> 00:15:33,011
They believe constitutionally
you're not supposed
394
00:15:33,111 --> 00:15:34,379
to have prayers in school.
395
00:15:34,479 --> 00:15:36,781
And I think that you
don't have to do it
396
00:15:36,815 --> 00:15:39,584
in school, around
school, but our children
397
00:15:39,684 --> 00:15:40,585
need some spiritual--
398
00:15:40,685 --> 00:15:42,988
You don't think
that's some white shit?
399
00:15:43,088 --> 00:15:44,623
No, I think it's
the right shit.
400
00:15:44,789 --> 00:15:45,657
Come on, son.
401
00:15:45,790 --> 00:15:48,393
To be ignorant to
prayer, we got here.
402
00:15:48,493 --> 00:15:50,495
Yeah, so you want to
put it back in the school.
403
00:15:50,595 --> 00:15:51,896
It's not up to me.
404
00:15:51,997 --> 00:15:55,333
What I want to do is introduce
our children to spirituality.
405
00:15:55,433 --> 00:15:56,401
[bleep] with that.
406
00:15:56,501 --> 00:15:58,036
ERIC ADAMS: You know that?
- [bleep] down.
407
00:15:58,136 --> 00:15:59,170
I do.
408
00:15:59,271 --> 00:16:01,273
I do because one time I
took this dude's chain--
409
00:16:01,373 --> 00:16:02,707
it was a Jesus chain.
410
00:16:02,807 --> 00:16:04,376
And I felt real bad.
411
00:16:04,476 --> 00:16:05,543
Mm, mm.
412
00:16:05,644 --> 00:16:07,279
You know, I'm sure you
gave it back to him.
413
00:16:07,379 --> 00:16:09,080
No, I just felt real bad.
414
00:16:09,180 --> 00:16:11,049
You may have needed
it for a reason.
415
00:16:11,149 --> 00:16:12,050
Right.
416
00:16:12,150 --> 00:16:13,285
You know that?
417
00:16:13,385 --> 00:16:15,620
Because I did pawn it
during quarantine and got me
418
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:18,490
that EBT card that I use
to get that cold food
419
00:16:18,590 --> 00:16:19,958
that you going to make hot.
- You know what?
420
00:16:20,058 --> 00:16:21,059
All right.
421
00:16:21,159 --> 00:16:23,528
Let me ask you real shit
people want to know.
422
00:16:23,628 --> 00:16:27,532
Son, what the [bleep] you
going to do about the Knicks?
423
00:16:27,632 --> 00:16:28,533
Listen.
424
00:16:28,633 --> 00:16:29,968
You the mayor, son.
425
00:16:30,068 --> 00:16:32,470
You can't have your--
the team, New York team
426
00:16:32,570 --> 00:16:33,605
looking like that.
427
00:16:33,772 --> 00:16:35,774
Spike Lee don't even go
to the games no more.
428
00:16:35,807 --> 00:16:37,208
You got to do something, son.
429
00:16:37,309 --> 00:16:39,244
You should go there
with all your cops,
430
00:16:39,344 --> 00:16:41,079
and if they don't
play right, you
431
00:16:41,179 --> 00:16:42,981
should arrest them [bleep].
432
00:16:43,081 --> 00:16:45,517
Listen, all I know
about New York fans
433
00:16:45,617 --> 00:16:47,319
is the Arnold
Schwarzenegger moment.
434
00:16:47,419 --> 00:16:49,788
They'll be back because
we going to win.
435
00:16:49,888 --> 00:16:52,257
They been saying
that for 30 years.
436
00:16:52,357 --> 00:16:54,859
Willis Reed don't even
go to the games no more.
437
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:57,028
Yo, E, you, I [bleep] with you.
438
00:16:57,128 --> 00:16:59,230
Listen, I'mma give you my math.
439
00:16:59,331 --> 00:17:01,499
Let's link up again,
pop some bottles.
440
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:02,601
We gonna get some business.
441
00:17:02,701 --> 00:17:03,602
You know what I'm saying?
442
00:17:03,702 --> 00:17:05,136
I'm looking for
a fifth baby mom.
443
00:17:05,236 --> 00:17:06,137
Love.
444
00:17:06,237 --> 00:17:08,940
My guy, my guy, all day.
445
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:10,041
All day.
446
00:17:10,141 --> 00:17:11,042
Thank you.
447
00:17:11,142 --> 00:17:12,043
Thank you.
448
00:17:12,143 --> 00:17:13,612
[music playing]
449
00:17:13,712 --> 00:17:14,980
[cheering]
450
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,282
All right, thank you, 'Quon.
451
00:17:17,382 --> 00:17:18,550
All right, stay tuned.
452
00:17:18,650 --> 00:17:20,952
When we come back, we
got Bomani Jones will
453
00:17:21,052 --> 00:17:22,821
be joining me on the show.
454
00:17:22,887 --> 00:17:24,856
And I bet you this nigga
got a turtleneck on.
455
00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:26,057
So don't go away.
456
00:17:26,157 --> 00:17:29,527
[cheering]
457
00:17:38,704 --> 00:17:43,542
[cheering, applause]
458
00:17:43,642 --> 00:17:46,645
Welcome back to
The Daily Show.
459
00:17:46,745 --> 00:17:49,715
My guest tonight is an Emmy
winning sports journalist
460
00:17:49,815 --> 00:17:51,817
who hosts the HBO series--
461
00:17:51,917 --> 00:17:57,489
speaking of HBO, I
have a stand-up special
462
00:17:57,590 --> 00:18:03,095
called God Loves Me streaming
right now on HBO Max.
463
00:18:03,195 --> 00:18:04,830
And if you want to
see me live I'll
464
00:18:04,930 --> 00:18:08,167
be in Medford, Massachusetts
at the Chevalier Theater
465
00:18:08,267 --> 00:18:10,069
this Saturday, March 11.
466
00:18:10,169 --> 00:18:12,871
[cheering, applause]
467
00:18:12,972 --> 00:18:15,407
My next guest, Emmy
award-winning sports
468
00:18:15,507 --> 00:18:18,043
journalist who
hosts a show on HBO.
469
00:18:18,143 --> 00:18:20,145
It's called Game Theory
with Bomani Jones.
470
00:18:20,246 --> 00:18:21,480
All right, look.
471
00:18:21,580 --> 00:18:23,382
The thing is, man, people
don't fight anymore in the NBA
472
00:18:23,482 --> 00:18:25,417
because they'll damn
near throw you in jail.
473
00:18:25,517 --> 00:18:28,787
Like, somehow we all
love watching people
474
00:18:28,887 --> 00:18:30,556
fight all the time,
except if they
475
00:18:30,656 --> 00:18:31,857
do it in basketball jerseys.
476
00:18:31,957 --> 00:18:32,925
Then, all of a
sudden, everybody
477
00:18:33,025 --> 00:18:34,326
wants to call the
police and try
478
00:18:34,426 --> 00:18:35,494
to shut the whole party down.
479
00:18:35,594 --> 00:18:37,596
There's an entire
generation of fans right now
480
00:18:37,696 --> 00:18:39,832
that have never seen
their favorite players
481
00:18:39,932 --> 00:18:41,166
get into a fight.
482
00:18:41,267 --> 00:18:47,606
I once saw Dr. J and Moses
Malone double team Larry Bird.
483
00:18:48,607 --> 00:18:49,808
These kids are being deprived.
484
00:18:49,909 --> 00:18:54,680
Please welcome the one
and only Bomani Jones.
485
00:18:54,780 --> 00:18:57,149
[funk music]
486
00:18:57,216 --> 00:19:04,223
[cheering, applause]
487
00:19:09,561 --> 00:19:11,330
Looking clean, looking clean.
- I'm trying, man.
488
00:19:11,430 --> 00:19:12,464
I'm trying.
489
00:19:12,564 --> 00:19:14,066
You looking clean,
looking like you a Wayans.
490
00:19:14,166 --> 00:19:15,200
Looking like Keenen.
491
00:19:15,301 --> 00:19:16,602
"Kleanen" Ivory Wayans.
492
00:19:16,702 --> 00:19:17,636
That's a hair joke, isn't it?
493
00:19:17,736 --> 00:19:19,071
- Nah, you just--
- Oh, OK.
494
00:19:19,171 --> 00:19:20,439
Y'all look alike.
495
00:19:20,539 --> 00:19:23,509
Well, you look like Damon and
Keenen got smooshed together
496
00:19:23,609 --> 00:19:24,977
and then put in a suit.
497
00:19:25,077 --> 00:19:26,579
So let me ask you a question.
498
00:19:26,679 --> 00:19:29,949
What do you think of the
whole Ja Morant thing?
499
00:19:30,049 --> 00:19:34,787
Well, I had two thoughts
when I saw the last video
500
00:19:34,887 --> 00:19:36,188
with him at the strip club.
501
00:19:36,255 --> 00:19:38,824
Thought number one-- they
supposed to be taking they
502
00:19:38,924 --> 00:19:40,125
shirts off.
503
00:19:40,192 --> 00:19:41,427
[laughter]
504
00:19:41,527 --> 00:19:43,896
That is like, do you flip your
own burgers at McDonald's?
505
00:19:43,996 --> 00:19:45,197
Like, when you go
to the strip club
506
00:19:45,297 --> 00:19:47,633
and you take your clothes
off, you doing it backwards.
507
00:19:47,733 --> 00:19:50,703
And then there's the other part
that he's in there with a gun.
508
00:19:50,803 --> 00:19:53,906
And, honestly, I thought that
gun was too small to even like
509
00:19:54,006 --> 00:19:54,940
rightly pistol whip somebody.
510
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:56,976
MARLON WAYANS: I
thought it was a chain.
511
00:19:57,142 --> 00:19:58,344
Yeah, I did too.
512
00:19:58,444 --> 00:20:00,246
But no, I think that
there's a level to this,
513
00:20:00,346 --> 00:20:02,047
though, that's kind of
encouraging where people
514
00:20:02,147 --> 00:20:03,582
like me who are in
the media see him--
515
00:20:03,682 --> 00:20:05,251
and like, with Allen Iverson,
we would've slammed
516
00:20:05,351 --> 00:20:06,385
him, right?
517
00:20:06,485 --> 00:20:08,454
Like, the world would've
just come down on him.
518
00:20:08,554 --> 00:20:10,756
I look at this with just
a lot more concern, right?
519
00:20:10,856 --> 00:20:12,958
Like, I see a dude
who is acting out.
520
00:20:13,058 --> 00:20:15,961
And you and I both know,
man, showing people guns--
521
00:20:16,061 --> 00:20:17,429
that makes other
people show you
522
00:20:17,529 --> 00:20:22,534
guns, except not the side part,
the part that look at you.
523
00:20:22,635 --> 00:20:25,371
And so it ain't-- it's not
about judging him for me
524
00:20:25,471 --> 00:20:27,172
as much as I hope he
gets himself right,
525
00:20:27,239 --> 00:20:28,440
because it's clear
that he's not.
526
00:20:28,540 --> 00:20:32,845
But I think when you give
these guys this much money,
527
00:20:32,945 --> 00:20:34,246
that young--
528
00:20:34,346 --> 00:20:37,416
like, if I had a 100-mill that
young, I'd be in a strip club
529
00:20:37,516 --> 00:20:38,417
with a gun.
530
00:20:38,517 --> 00:20:39,919
Why not?
531
00:20:40,019 --> 00:20:40,920
Why not?
Bop!
532
00:20:41,020 --> 00:20:41,921
Bop!
Bop!
533
00:20:42,021 --> 00:20:42,922
Bop!
534
00:20:43,022 --> 00:20:43,956
Bop, bop, bop, bop!
535
00:20:44,123 --> 00:20:44,957
[laughter]
536
00:20:45,124 --> 00:20:48,127
I mean, the first
part, I get that.
537
00:20:48,227 --> 00:20:50,262
If I got that much money,
I ain't going nowhere
538
00:20:50,362 --> 00:20:51,497
where I think I need a gun.
539
00:20:51,597 --> 00:20:52,264
MARLON WAYANS: Oh, the
strip club is coming to me.
540
00:20:52,364 --> 00:20:53,399
We gonna be in my house.
541
00:20:53,499 --> 00:20:55,601
Any time I see somebody
with a gun, I'm like,
542
00:20:55,701 --> 00:20:57,436
maybe you just
shouldn't go there.
543
00:20:57,536 --> 00:20:59,705
Like, if I think I might need
to shoot somebody where I am,
544
00:20:59,805 --> 00:21:00,873
I probably just
shouldn't go there.
545
00:21:00,973 --> 00:21:02,675
Right.
546
00:21:02,775 --> 00:21:06,145
OK, so you saw the tweet that
LeBron did about his
547
00:21:06,211 --> 00:21:07,413
son, Bronny.
548
00:21:07,513 --> 00:21:08,948
Last night, he tweeted--
549
00:21:09,048 --> 00:21:10,549
and I want to quote this right.
550
00:21:10,649 --> 00:21:13,385
"Definitely better"-- he
said that his son Bronny was
551
00:21:13,485 --> 00:21:15,754
"definitely better
than some of these cats
552
00:21:15,854 --> 00:21:19,158
I've been watching on
the League Pass today."
553
00:21:19,224 --> 00:21:21,894
Do you think Bronny
has what it take?
554
00:21:21,994 --> 00:21:25,564
So I looked at what time
LeBron sent that tweet.
555
00:21:25,664 --> 00:21:28,901
It was roughly
midnight Eastern.
556
00:21:29,001 --> 00:21:31,704
There were two games on.
557
00:21:31,804 --> 00:21:34,907
And all those teams have
better records than the Lakers.
558
00:21:35,007 --> 00:21:35,908
So--
559
00:21:36,008 --> 00:21:36,909
[crowd clammoring]
560
00:21:37,009 --> 00:21:38,277
Oh, shots fired.
561
00:21:38,377 --> 00:21:39,511
Shots is fired!
562
00:21:39,612 --> 00:21:43,015
No, my only point
is, if Bronny's better
563
00:21:43,115 --> 00:21:45,918
than them, then Bring
Your Son to Work Day,
564
00:21:46,018 --> 00:21:49,655
bring him out here
and you can find out.
565
00:21:49,755 --> 00:21:51,957
MARLON WAYANS: Right.
566
00:21:52,124 --> 00:21:54,927
Unfortunately,
for the young man,
567
00:21:55,027 --> 00:21:58,330
he would learn some very
hard lessons that day.
568
00:21:58,430 --> 00:21:59,732
And that's the thing, man.
569
00:21:59,832 --> 00:22:02,201
I feel like he's putting a
bull's eye on his son's back.
570
00:22:02,301 --> 00:22:04,136
Because getting to
the NBA is hard--
571
00:22:04,236 --> 00:22:05,237
really, really hard.
572
00:22:05,337 --> 00:22:07,840
If he gets there at
all, that is a victory.
573
00:22:07,940 --> 00:22:09,608
But if he gets
there and his name
574
00:22:09,708 --> 00:22:12,144
is LeBron James, Jr.,
man, everybody gonna
575
00:22:12,244 --> 00:22:13,412
try to get famous off of him.
576
00:22:13,512 --> 00:22:15,614
Like, if I was LeBron, I'd
kind of be like, well, you
577
00:22:15,714 --> 00:22:17,149
know, he's working very hard.
578
00:22:17,249 --> 00:22:20,619
And I'll be proud of
him however it ends up.
579
00:22:20,719 --> 00:22:22,254
Like, that's the play
you want to make.
580
00:22:22,354 --> 00:22:23,355
Right.
581
00:22:23,455 --> 00:22:25,024
Do you do you think
he goes to the Lakers
582
00:22:25,157 --> 00:22:27,159
or you think LeBron's gonna
have to go to Cleveland?
583
00:22:27,226 --> 00:22:29,161
What do you think of
LeBron versus Jordan?
584
00:22:29,261 --> 00:22:30,162
That's what I want to know.
585
00:22:30,262 --> 00:22:32,831
I like talking to a
sports aficionado.
586
00:22:32,932 --> 00:22:34,266
LeBron versus Jordan,
which one do you--
587
00:22:34,366 --> 00:22:35,401
So I'm gona tell you this.
588
00:22:35,501 --> 00:22:37,236
Like, 15 years ago, when
I really first started
589
00:22:37,336 --> 00:22:39,605
doing the sports
thing, I was adamant
590
00:22:39,705 --> 00:22:42,575
that LeBron James was the
best player I had ever seen.
591
00:22:42,675 --> 00:22:44,843
I said this when I was 28.
592
00:22:44,944 --> 00:22:48,447
And then I went on
YouTube and I pulled
593
00:22:48,547 --> 00:22:51,150
the Jordan guy up
one time, and I've
594
00:22:51,250 --> 00:22:53,619
never said that ever again.
595
00:22:53,719 --> 00:22:56,422
Like, being number
two or number three
596
00:22:56,522 --> 00:22:57,623
is really, really,
really, really,
597
00:22:57,723 --> 00:22:59,158
really, really, really,
really, really good right?
598
00:22:59,258 --> 00:23:01,126
But, dude, there's Jordan and
there's just everybody else.
599
00:23:01,226 --> 00:23:03,295
When The Last Dance came
on, I was just like, yes.
600
00:23:03,395 --> 00:23:05,164
Now the kids can watch
this, and I never
601
00:23:05,264 --> 00:23:06,565
have to talk about this again.
MARLON WAYANS: Right.
602
00:23:06,665 --> 00:23:08,334
Right?
Like, you got it right here.
603
00:23:08,434 --> 00:23:09,935
Here is your explanation.
604
00:23:10,035 --> 00:23:11,370
And it ain't got nothing
to do with LeBron.
605
00:23:11,470 --> 00:23:12,438
It's just all about that dude.
606
00:23:12,538 --> 00:23:13,572
Right.
607
00:23:13,672 --> 00:23:15,274
OK.
608
00:23:15,374 --> 00:23:20,179
I'm not so much a sports fan
as I am an anti-sports fan.
609
00:23:20,279 --> 00:23:21,614
Like, I'm a hater.
- OK.
610
00:23:21,714 --> 00:23:22,982
Now, I don't love teams.
611
00:23:23,148 --> 00:23:23,983
I hate teams.
612
00:23:24,149 --> 00:23:26,151
There's teams I hate, right?
613
00:23:26,252 --> 00:23:29,021
So who do you got
going to the Finals?
614
00:23:29,154 --> 00:23:31,590
Because I'm a Laker hater.
615
00:23:31,690 --> 00:23:33,325
I don't like saying
that out loud.
616
00:23:33,425 --> 00:23:35,060
Don't tell LeBron and
them, 'cause I like going
617
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,596
to the games and shit.
618
00:23:37,696 --> 00:23:39,665
But I'm a-- I'm
a official hater.
619
00:23:39,765 --> 00:23:41,767
Who do you got
going to the Finals?
620
00:23:41,867 --> 00:23:44,904
I mean, I think I got
Milwaukee on one side.
621
00:23:45,004 --> 00:23:46,639
And on the West, I
don't know who's going,
622
00:23:46,739 --> 00:23:49,108
but I want my man Jokic
to go. 'Cause Jokic
623
00:23:49,141 --> 00:23:52,745
looks like he just picked
up a piece of bread
624
00:23:52,845 --> 00:23:55,614
and went to a personal
trainer and was like, this
625
00:23:55,714 --> 00:23:57,116
is what I'm going for.
Right?
626
00:23:57,182 --> 00:23:58,684
Like, get you a
baguette and be like,
627
00:23:58,784 --> 00:24:00,753
yo, make me look like this--
628
00:24:00,853 --> 00:24:03,389
and killing
everybody, everybody.
629
00:24:03,489 --> 00:24:05,991
I'd love to see that pay off,
love to see that pay off.
630
00:24:06,125 --> 00:24:10,229
Plus, we grew up at a time
when it was more hardscrabble
631
00:24:10,329 --> 00:24:11,830
tales of basketball players.
632
00:24:11,931 --> 00:24:13,799
Like, they wasn't sending them
off to private school early.
633
00:24:13,899 --> 00:24:15,434
Like, you know, dudes had
to come from something.
634
00:24:15,534 --> 00:24:17,803
Hey, man, them cats from
'dem countries with all
635
00:24:17,903 --> 00:24:19,305
them consonants in 'em.
MARLON WAYANS: Yes.
636
00:24:19,405 --> 00:24:20,306
[laughter]
637
00:24:20,406 --> 00:24:22,141
It's real, dog.
638
00:24:22,207 --> 00:24:24,810
It reminds me of my youth,
not my personal youth,
639
00:24:24,910 --> 00:24:26,946
'cause we was doing good.
640
00:24:27,046 --> 00:24:28,747
But when I would
get on television
641
00:24:28,847 --> 00:24:30,616
and watch the
basketball players,
642
00:24:30,716 --> 00:24:31,617
it reminded me of that.
643
00:24:31,717 --> 00:24:32,851
So which team do you hate?
Come on.
644
00:24:32,952 --> 00:24:33,852
It's just me and you here.
645
00:24:33,953 --> 00:24:35,154
The world ain't watching.
646
00:24:35,187 --> 00:24:36,155
[laughter]
647
00:24:36,188 --> 00:24:37,222
You can tell me.
648
00:24:37,323 --> 00:24:38,324
Who you hate?
649
00:24:38,424 --> 00:24:39,925
I don't think I
got a basketball
650
00:24:40,092 --> 00:24:40,960
team that I hate right now.
MARLON WAYANS: Come on, man.
651
00:24:41,093 --> 00:24:41,961
It's just me and you.
Stop this.
652
00:24:42,094 --> 00:24:42,962
I know.
653
00:24:43,095 --> 00:24:44,096
I'm trying to think.
654
00:24:44,129 --> 00:24:45,898
I mean, when I was
little, I hated Boston.
655
00:24:45,998 --> 00:24:47,166
But things changed.
MARLON WAYANS: Yeah.
656
00:24:47,266 --> 00:24:48,267
Let me rephrase that.
MARLON WAYANS: I agree.
657
00:24:48,367 --> 00:24:49,702
When I was little,
I hated the Celtics.
658
00:24:49,802 --> 00:24:51,270
I'm up in the air on Boston.
659
00:24:51,370 --> 00:24:54,173
On the Celtics, you know,
things changed a little bit.
660
00:24:54,273 --> 00:24:55,174
OK.
661
00:24:55,274 --> 00:25:00,012
You or Stephen A. Smith?
662
00:25:00,112 --> 00:25:01,313
At what?
663
00:25:01,413 --> 00:25:03,582
Who talks more shit?
664
00:25:03,682 --> 00:25:04,583
Oh, Stephen A.
665
00:25:04,683 --> 00:25:05,584
You think Stephen A.?
666
00:25:05,684 --> 00:25:06,719
Stephen A. does.
667
00:25:06,819 --> 00:25:08,220
(IMITATING STEPHEN A.
SMITH) I think Stephen
668
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:09,888
A. talks a lot of shit too.
669
00:25:09,989 --> 00:25:11,290
I like him. (MOCKINGLY)
But I really
670
00:25:11,390 --> 00:25:13,125
think "Thannon Tharpe"--
"Thannon Tharpe"--
671
00:25:13,225 --> 00:25:14,126
Nah, man.
672
00:25:14,226 --> 00:25:15,194
Nah, don't do that to Shannon.
673
00:25:15,294 --> 00:25:16,562
I don't understand
a word he's saying--
674
00:25:16,662 --> 00:25:17,796
- Nah, no, no, no.
- --but it is funny as hell.
675
00:25:17,896 --> 00:25:19,732
Nah, man, this
why I love Shannon.
676
00:25:19,832 --> 00:25:21,133
I love Shannon
'cause dudes from
677
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:22,601
the country shouldn't have to
change how they talk to make--
678
00:25:22,701 --> 00:25:23,602
- No, he shouldn't.
- --y'all feel good.
679
00:25:23,702 --> 00:25:24,870
I love--
680
00:25:24,970 --> 00:25:25,938
And that's why I love him
so much, 'cause he like--
681
00:25:26,038 --> 00:25:27,306
I love when he
sit there with Skip
682
00:25:27,406 --> 00:25:30,309
and be like, (MOCKINGLY) I'm
gonna have me a Black & Mild.
683
00:25:30,409 --> 00:25:31,477
I'm gonna have me some Nyak.
684
00:25:31,577 --> 00:25:34,146
You shut the [bleep] up
and do what you gonna do.
685
00:25:34,246 --> 00:25:35,481
I love-- I love
me some Shannon.
686
00:25:35,581 --> 00:25:37,549
I like when he was screaming
at Ja Morant and his father.
687
00:25:37,650 --> 00:25:38,684
I'll [bleep] y'all up.
688
00:25:38,784 --> 00:25:39,685
You won't [bleep] with me.
689
00:25:39,785 --> 00:25:42,154
And let's be clear.
690
00:25:42,254 --> 00:25:43,956
He would have.
691
00:25:44,089 --> 00:25:45,925
Like, them first two or
three people didn't want it.
692
00:25:46,091 --> 00:25:48,127
When Steven Adams came over
there with his gold tooth,
693
00:25:48,227 --> 00:25:49,595
I think, all of a
sudden, Shannon Sharpe
694
00:25:49,695 --> 00:25:50,829
had a different tone.
695
00:25:50,930 --> 00:25:53,766
But them first three dudes,
oh, no, no, no, no, no.
696
00:25:53,866 --> 00:25:56,735
But he did kind of
cower when Ja pulled
697
00:25:56,835 --> 00:25:58,103
that little gun out on him.
698
00:25:58,203 --> 00:25:59,271
Let me tell you--
699
00:25:59,371 --> 00:26:00,272
Pew-pew.
700
00:26:00,372 --> 00:26:01,974
--as country as
Shannon Sharpe is,
701
00:26:02,107 --> 00:26:03,742
you ain't gonna
pull no little gun
702
00:26:03,842 --> 00:26:05,711
on him and get no reaction.
703
00:26:05,811 --> 00:26:06,845
You don't come
from the backwoods
704
00:26:06,946 --> 00:26:08,380
and get scared off by a .380.
705
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:11,584
That ain't how it works.
706
00:26:11,684 --> 00:26:14,019
OK, Floyd or Ali?
707
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:16,155
As my brother, who
is much larger than me,
708
00:26:16,255 --> 00:26:17,690
used to tell me when I
was little-- they make
709
00:26:17,790 --> 00:26:19,024
weight classes for a reason.
710
00:26:19,124 --> 00:26:21,193
MARLON WAYANS: No, I wasn't
saying I want them to fight.
711
00:26:21,293 --> 00:26:22,394
Oh.
712
00:26:22,494 --> 00:26:24,597
I'm saying, but who-- in
terms of greatness, which
713
00:26:24,697 --> 00:26:25,898
one do you think is greater?
714
00:26:25,998 --> 00:26:27,700
I mean, you
gotta go with Ali.
715
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:28,968
And it's-- but it's--
716
00:26:29,134 --> 00:26:30,035
[cheering, applause]
717
00:26:30,135 --> 00:26:32,137
It's a weird thing,
though, because you
718
00:26:32,204 --> 00:26:34,974
kind of gotta go with Ali
because he lost before.
719
00:26:35,140 --> 00:26:36,709
Like, Floyd never took a
fight that we ever thought,
720
00:26:36,809 --> 00:26:37,910
I don't know.
721
00:26:38,077 --> 00:26:39,545
I think he might-- the
only time anybody thought
722
00:26:39,645 --> 00:26:40,879
he was gonna lose
a fight is when
723
00:26:40,980 --> 00:26:43,182
he fought Ricky Hatton because
white people be wishing.
724
00:26:43,282 --> 00:26:44,183
You know what I'm saying?
725
00:26:44,283 --> 00:26:45,985
Like, that was the only one.
726
00:26:46,085 --> 00:26:48,354
(MOCKINGLY) They're
like, maybe this time.
727
00:26:48,454 --> 00:26:49,755
Maybe this one.
728
00:26:49,855 --> 00:26:51,590
People forgot the
whole Revolutionary War
729
00:26:51,690 --> 00:26:53,926
and were acolyte Ricky Hatton
was from Wichita,
730
00:26:54,093 --> 00:26:55,261
Kansas, right?
731
00:26:55,361 --> 00:26:56,929
Like, no, we supposed
to have beef with them.
732
00:26:57,096 --> 00:27:00,099
They're like, no, but
we have beef with them.
733
00:27:00,132 --> 00:27:02,301
All right, so your
interview with Jake Paul
734
00:27:02,401 --> 00:27:04,603
went viral last month.
735
00:27:04,703 --> 00:27:07,206
You roasted him, and
then he lost his fight.
736
00:27:07,306 --> 00:27:09,541
Did that make you happy?
737
00:27:09,642 --> 00:27:10,876
[laughter]
738
00:27:10,976 --> 00:27:13,145
Was that a hateful prayer
you put out in the universe?
739
00:27:13,245 --> 00:27:14,446
I'll be honest.
740
00:27:14,546 --> 00:27:16,115
I didn't want to watch
the fight 'cause I didn't
741
00:27:16,181 --> 00:27:17,116
want to watch him fight.
742
00:27:17,182 --> 00:27:19,752
Like, he's not
actually a fighter.
743
00:27:19,852 --> 00:27:21,120
But he told us--
because I asked him--
744
00:27:21,186 --> 00:27:23,522
because he fancies himself
as a boxing promoter,
745
00:27:23,622 --> 00:27:24,556
like a businessman.
746
00:27:24,657 --> 00:27:26,125
So I'm like, what
happens if you lose?
747
00:27:26,225 --> 00:27:27,559
Because I'm thinking
about the money of it.
748
00:27:27,660 --> 00:27:30,329
And he's like, well, I don't
have a loser mentality.
749
00:27:30,429 --> 00:27:31,997
That seems to be
how you live life.
750
00:27:32,131 --> 00:27:33,966
And I'm like, dude,
I'm 42 years old.
751
00:27:34,133 --> 00:27:36,402
You're not gonna nanny-nanny
boo-boo me into this.
752
00:27:36,502 --> 00:27:38,203
But then I--
- You sure you 42?
753
00:27:38,304 --> 00:27:39,305
I am 42.
754
00:27:39,405 --> 00:27:43,542
Nanny-nanny boo-boo,
I thought you were 72.
755
00:27:43,642 --> 00:27:46,078
I thought my grandfather was
sitting here for a second.
756
00:27:46,178 --> 00:27:47,346
I said, Earl?
757
00:27:47,446 --> 00:27:48,547
But I'll tell you this.
758
00:27:48,647 --> 00:27:50,482
When I found out Jake
Paul had a rematch clause,
759
00:27:50,583 --> 00:27:51,717
I was like, oh, who
the loser now, dog?
760
00:27:51,817 --> 00:27:52,718
- Ooh!
- It seems like--
761
00:27:52,818 --> 00:27:54,086
Ooh!
762
00:27:54,186 --> 00:27:55,754
It seems like-- it seems like
you had a plan just in case
763
00:27:55,854 --> 00:27:57,289
you got your ass whooped,
which by the way,
764
00:27:57,389 --> 00:27:58,624
is a generally good idea.
- Right.
765
00:27:58,724 --> 00:27:59,825
You just ain't
gotta lie about it.
766
00:27:59,925 --> 00:28:00,826
MARLON WAYANS: Right.
767
00:28:00,926 --> 00:28:03,162
You think he'll whoop your ass?
768
00:28:03,262 --> 00:28:07,666
So it's a dilemma
because, on one hand,
769
00:28:07,766 --> 00:28:10,235
there are weight
classes for a reason.
770
00:28:10,336 --> 00:28:13,272
On the other hand,
I am 42 years old.
771
00:28:13,372 --> 00:28:15,507
I can't lose no
fight to Jake Paul.
772
00:28:15,608 --> 00:28:16,875
Why? 'Cause I can't.
773
00:28:16,976 --> 00:28:18,277
Like, I can't go--
774
00:28:18,377 --> 00:28:20,145
I don't have kids, so I don't
have it with them where like,
775
00:28:20,246 --> 00:28:21,146
you can't beat me.
776
00:28:21,247 --> 00:28:23,382
But if Jake Paul
beats me up in public,
777
00:28:23,482 --> 00:28:25,584
one of us at some point
is going to have to die.
778
00:28:25,684 --> 00:28:27,453
[laughter]
779
00:28:27,553 --> 00:28:28,787
There's no other option.
780
00:28:28,887 --> 00:28:33,826
You gonna be like, Ja Morant,
can I use your little gun?
781
00:28:33,926 --> 00:28:36,428
All right, new
episodes of Game Theory
782
00:28:36,528 --> 00:28:39,298
with my man Bomani
Jones airs Friday nights
783
00:28:39,398 --> 00:28:41,634
on HBO and HBO Max.
784
00:28:41,734 --> 00:28:43,469
OK, we're gonna
take a quick break,
785
00:28:43,569 --> 00:28:45,537
but we'll be right
back after this.
786
00:28:45,638 --> 00:28:46,739
[cheering, applause]
787
00:28:46,839 --> 00:28:49,875
[funk music]
788
00:28:53,780 --> 00:28:58,718
[cheering]
789
00:28:58,819 --> 00:29:00,287
That's our show for tonight.
790
00:29:00,387 --> 00:29:02,789
But, please, before
we go, consider
791
00:29:02,889 --> 00:29:04,424
supporting Black Men Heal.
792
00:29:04,524 --> 00:29:07,394
It's a nonprofit dedicated
to providing mental health
793
00:29:07,494 --> 00:29:10,597
treatment, education, and
resources to men of color
794
00:29:10,697 --> 00:29:12,866
who often can't get
the help they need.
795
00:29:12,966 --> 00:29:15,569
If you can support them
in their work, please,
796
00:29:15,669 --> 00:29:17,237
donate at the link below.
797
00:29:17,337 --> 00:29:19,706
Now, here it is,
your Moment of Zen.
798
00:29:19,806 --> 00:29:21,808
Good evening, and welcome
to Tucker Carlson Tonight.
799
00:29:21,908 --> 00:29:22,809
Happy Monday.
800
00:29:22,909 --> 00:29:24,711
We're about to show
you surveillance
801
00:29:24,811 --> 00:29:27,814
footage from Dallas,
November 22, 1963.
802
00:29:27,914 --> 00:29:29,883
The mainstream media
wants you to believe
803
00:29:29,983 --> 00:29:32,586
that this was a quote,
"political assassination."
804
00:29:32,686 --> 00:29:33,854
But look at this footage.
805
00:29:33,954 --> 00:29:36,890
Do you see any political
leaders getting assassinated?
806
00:29:36,990 --> 00:29:38,158
I don't.
807
00:29:38,258 --> 00:29:41,061
All I see are proud Americans
out for a lovely drive
808
00:29:41,161 --> 00:29:42,496
on a sunny day in Dallas.
809
00:29:42,596 --> 00:29:43,930
Also, this isn't fake.
810
00:29:44,030 --> 00:29:45,765
This is really me,
Tucker Carlson.
811
00:29:45,866 --> 00:29:47,234
If someone tells
you this is fake,
812
00:29:47,334 --> 00:29:50,604
they are lying to you as
part of a global conspiracy.
813
00:29:50,704 --> 00:29:52,205
ANNOUNCER: MTV.