1 00:00:01,100 --> 00:00:02,433 * 2 00:00:02,433 --> 00:00:04,800 >> FROM NEW YORK CITY, THE ONLY 3 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:06,800 CITY IN AMERICA! 4 00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:08,233 IT'S THE SHOW THAT INVENTED 5 00:00:08,233 --> 00:00:08,567 NEWS! 6 00:00:08,567 --> 00:00:11,733 THIS IS "THE DAILY SHOW" WITH 7 00:00:11,733 --> 00:00:14,133 YOUR HOST AL FRANKEN! 8 00:00:14,133 --> 00:00:14,733 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 9 00:00:14,733 --> 00:00:31,033 * 10 00:00:31,033 --> 00:00:33,600 >> Al: WELCOME! 11 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,400 WELCOME! 12 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:37,467 WELCOME! 13 00:00:37,467 --> 00:00:40,867 WELCOME! 14 00:00:40,867 --> 00:00:41,933 WELCOME TO THE DASH WELCOME TO 15 00:00:41,933 --> 00:00:43,733 "THE DAILY SHOW," I'M AL FRANKEN 16 00:00:43,733 --> 00:00:44,533 AND TONIGHT IS MY LAST NIGHT 17 00:00:44,533 --> 00:00:46,800 HOSTING "THE DAILY SHOW." 18 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,567 AND I JUST WANT TO SAY IT'S BEEN 19 00:00:49,567 --> 00:00:51,800 AN HONOR... 20 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,367 FOR EVERYONE HERE TO GET TO WORK 21 00:00:53,367 --> 00:00:55,100 WITH ME. 22 00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:55,500 [LAUGHTER] 23 00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:56,600 BUT WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR 24 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:58,300 YOU TONIGHT, SO LET'S GET INTO 25 00:00:58,300 --> 00:01:00,600 THE HEADLINES. 26 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:01,200 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 27 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,767 * 28 00:01:03,767 --> 00:01:07,167 OKAY, LET'S KICK THINGS OFF WITH 29 00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:09,133 A BIG STORY ON CAPITOL HILL 30 00:01:09,133 --> 00:01:10,467 TODAY. 31 00:01:10,467 --> 00:01:12,633 THERE WAS A MAJOR HEARING THAT 32 00:01:12,633 --> 00:01:13,767 COULD DETERMINE THE FUTURE OF 33 00:01:13,767 --> 00:01:15,100 TIKTOK. 34 00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:17,500 OF VIGGO A RARE DISPLAY OF 35 00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:18,400 BIPARTISANSHIP TODAY FOR THE 36 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:21,333 GROWING OF TIKTOK CEO ON 37 00:01:21,333 --> 00:01:22,100 CAPITOL HILL. 38 00:01:22,100 --> 00:01:23,367 THE EXECUTIVE OF THE 39 00:01:23,367 --> 00:01:25,067 CONTROVERSIAL AND INCREDIBLY 40 00:01:25,067 --> 00:01:26,267 POPULAR APP FACING SOME TOUGH 41 00:01:26,267 --> 00:01:29,467 QUESTIONS ABOUT CHILD SAFETY, 42 00:01:29,467 --> 00:01:31,500 DATA COLLECTION, AND ITS CHINESE 43 00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:31,900 OWNERSHIP. 44 00:01:31,900 --> 00:01:34,333 THE CHAIR OF THE COMMITTEE TODAY 45 00:01:34,333 --> 00:01:35,267 SAYS THAT TIKTOK SHOULD BE 46 00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:35,733 BANNED. 47 00:01:35,733 --> 00:01:37,700 >> WE DO NOT TRUST TIKTOK WILL 48 00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:40,100 EVER EMBRACE AMERICAN VALUES. 49 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,500 VALUES FOR FREEDOM, HUMAN 50 00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:43,633 RIGHTS, AND INNOVATION. 51 00:01:43,633 --> 00:01:48,500 TIKTOK HAS REPEATEDLY CHOSEN THE 52 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:49,200 PATH FOR MORE CONTROL, MORE 53 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,800 SURVEILLANCE, AND MORE 54 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:52,267 MANIPULATION. 55 00:01:52,267 --> 00:01:53,067 YOUR PLATFORM SHOULD BE BANNED. 56 00:01:53,067 --> 00:01:55,567 >> Al: THAT'S RIGHT, WE DON'T 57 00:01:55,567 --> 00:01:57,600 NEED A CHINESE COMPANY STEALING 58 00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,633 OUR DATA AND SPYING ON US. 59 00:01:59,633 --> 00:02:02,467 THAT'S A JOB FOR AMERICAN 60 00:02:02,467 --> 00:02:03,233 COMPANIES. 61 00:02:03,233 --> 00:02:05,333 USA! 62 00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:08,300 USA! 63 00:02:08,300 --> 00:02:08,633 USA! 64 00:02:08,633 --> 00:02:11,667 [CROWD CHANTING] 65 00:02:11,667 --> 00:02:13,100 [LAUGHTER] 66 00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:14,533 OF COURSE A BAN WILL AFFECT ME 67 00:02:14,533 --> 00:02:15,267 PERSONALLY BECAUSE AS MANY OF 68 00:02:15,267 --> 00:02:18,900 YOU KNOW I HAVE A HUGE FOLLOWING 69 00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:22,867 ON TIKTOK THANKS TO MY ON BOXING 70 00:02:22,867 --> 00:02:24,633 VIDEOS. 71 00:02:24,633 --> 00:02:25,067 [LAUGHTER] 72 00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:28,133 MY MAKEUP TUTORIALS. 73 00:02:28,133 --> 00:02:31,767 AND OF COURSE MY DANCE MOVES. 74 00:02:31,767 --> 00:02:35,100 I INVENTED THIS ONE. 75 00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:40,533 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 76 00:02:40,533 --> 00:02:41,867 [LAUGHTER] 77 00:02:41,867 --> 00:02:42,633 NOW, ASIDE FROM THE HEARING IN 78 00:02:42,633 --> 00:02:44,966 THE HOUSE TODAY, IS ANOTHER 79 00:02:44,966 --> 00:02:47,567 HEARING IN THE SENATE NEXT WEEK 80 00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:51,767 WHICH I THINK MIGHT GO A BIT 81 00:02:51,767 --> 00:02:56,833 LIKE THIS. 82 00:02:56,833 --> 00:03:01,300 [LAUGHTER] 83 00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:04,467 WHEN IS TIKTOK GOING TO RELEASE 84 00:03:04,467 --> 00:03:07,233 AN APP MY FLIP PHONE? 85 00:03:07,233 --> 00:03:13,433 THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW! 86 00:03:13,433 --> 00:03:19,700 ARE FEAR IS THAT YOUR SPINE ON 87 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:20,900 AMERICANS -- YOU ARE SPYING ON 88 00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:23,067 AMERICANS IN MY QUESTION IS 89 00:03:23,067 --> 00:03:25,933 WHETHER YOU'VE BEEN SPYING ON 90 00:03:25,933 --> 00:03:26,733 DONALD TRUMP. 91 00:03:26,733 --> 00:03:28,800 AND IF SO, COULD YOU PLEASE 92 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,800 SHARE THAT DATA WITH THE 93 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:34,933 PROSECUTORS? 94 00:03:34,933 --> 00:03:37,633 [LAUGHTER] 95 00:03:37,633 --> 00:03:38,267 I WANT... 96 00:03:38,267 --> 00:03:42,167 [APPLAUSE] 97 00:03:42,167 --> 00:03:44,600 I WANT YOUR ASSURANCES THAT IF 98 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:48,133 TIKTOK IS BANNED, CHINA WON'T 99 00:03:48,133 --> 00:03:52,466 RETALIATE BY CLOSING HUNAN 100 00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:56,966 BALCONY, RE THE RESTAURANT NEAR MY 101 00:03:56,966 --> 00:03:58,267 HOUSE BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE THE 102 00:03:58,267 --> 00:04:01,500 SCHUMER'S EAT ON CHRISTMAS. 103 00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:02,800 THEY MAKE A WONDERFUL MUSHU 104 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:03,133 PORK. 105 00:04:03,133 --> 00:04:05,967 I KNOW IT'S NOT KOSHER... 106 00:04:05,967 --> 00:04:08,500 BUT IT'S -- YOU KNOW, IT'S 107 00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:08,900 CHRISTMAS. 108 00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:09,300 [LAUGHTER] 109 00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:16,067 [APPLAUSE] 110 00:04:16,067 --> 00:04:18,100 I'M WORRIED ABOUT THE USE OF 111 00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:21,067 ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE BECAUSE 112 00:04:21,067 --> 00:04:25,967 I HAVE SEEN A DEEPFAKE VIDEO OUT 113 00:04:25,967 --> 00:04:28,067 THERE SAYING THAT I TRUST 114 00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:30,667 BRETT KAVANAUGH TO UPHOLD 115 00:04:30,667 --> 00:04:31,100 ROE V. WADE. 116 00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:34,067 CAN YOU CHANGE THAT TO ME SAYING 117 00:04:34,067 --> 00:04:36,633 I DON'T TRUST HIM? 118 00:04:36,633 --> 00:04:42,167 BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I SAID. 119 00:04:42,167 --> 00:04:44,933 OKAY. 120 00:04:44,933 --> 00:04:51,233 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 121 00:04:51,233 --> 00:04:54,100 LET'S MOVE TO FLORIDA, WHICH I 122 00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:57,467 KNOW IS SOMETHING -- I KNOW THAT 123 00:04:57,467 --> 00:04:58,867 IS SOMETHING A LOT OF OLD JEWS 124 00:04:58,867 --> 00:05:00,067 SAY, BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M 125 00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:03,067 TALKING ABOUT. 126 00:05:03,067 --> 00:05:04,533 WE ALL KNOW THAT LAST YEAR 127 00:05:04,533 --> 00:05:06,167 GOVERNOR DeSANTIS PASSED THE 128 00:05:06,167 --> 00:05:09,067 SO-CALLED BE 15 BILL 129 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,933 "DON'T SAY GAY"BILL. 130 00:05:13,933 --> 00:05:15,800 [BOOS] 131 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:17,067 IT BANNED TEACHERS FROM 132 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:17,832 DISCUSSING SEXUAL ORIENTATION OR 133 00:05:17,832 --> 00:05:19,733 GENDER IDENTITY WITH STUDENTS IN 134 00:05:19,733 --> 00:05:20,300 KINDERGARTEN THROUGH 135 00:05:20,300 --> 00:05:20,733 THIRD GRADE. 136 00:05:20,733 --> 00:05:22,500 GUESS WHAT? 137 00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:25,300 DeSANTIS IS NOW ANNOUNCING 138 00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:26,067 THAT HE PLANS TO EXPAND THE LAW 139 00:05:26,067 --> 00:05:29,233 TO COVER STUDENTS ALL THE WAY 140 00:05:29,233 --> 00:05:31,200 THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL. 141 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,167 SO THIS "DON'T SAY GAY" LAW IS 142 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,800 TERRIBLE. 143 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:38,867 BUCKLEY THOUGH IT DOESN'T SAY 144 00:05:38,867 --> 00:05:42,167 YOU CAN'T SAYING ABOUT BEING GAY 145 00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:43,700 GAY. 146 00:05:43,700 --> 00:05:47,767 * BEING GAY * 147 00:05:47,767 --> 00:05:48,533 * BEING GAY 148 00:05:48,533 --> 00:05:51,133 * IS AN EQUALLY VALID WAY 149 00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:56,533 * TO BE A PERSON TODAY * 150 00:05:56,533 --> 00:06:01,767 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 151 00:06:01,767 --> 00:06:03,367 ANYWAY, GOOD LUCK IN ENGLISH 152 00:06:03,367 --> 00:06:04,900 CLASS, FLORIDA TEENS. 153 00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:08,667 I THINK YOU'LL REALLY ENJOY 154 00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:10,333 READING CLASSES LIKE "MOBY LARGE 155 00:06:10,333 --> 00:06:13,867 WHALE WITH NO SUBTEXT WHATSOEVER 156 00:06:13,867 --> 00:06:18,332 WAS QUOTE. 157 00:06:18,332 --> 00:06:19,100 AND FINALLY COME HERE IS SOME 158 00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:21,900 FASCINATING NEWS FROM THE WORLDS 159 00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:23,067 OF SCIENCE AND MUSIC. 160 00:06:23,067 --> 00:06:25,700 >> AND THE ASSOCIATED PRESS IS 161 00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:26,967 SCIENTIST ANALYZED DNA FROM 162 00:06:26,967 --> 00:06:28,267 BEETHOVEN'S HAIR NEARLY 200 163 00:06:28,267 --> 00:06:29,100 YEARS AFTER HIS DEATH. 164 00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:31,500 THEY ARE LOOKING FOR CLUES ABOUT 165 00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:33,332 THE CELEBRATED COMPOSER'S MANY 166 00:06:33,332 --> 00:06:35,500 HEALTH PROBLEMS AND HIS HEARING 167 00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:36,200 LOSS. 168 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:36,967 THEY FOUND INFORMATION ABOUT THE 169 00:06:36,967 --> 00:06:38,967 LIVER DISEASE THAT IS WIDELY 170 00:06:38,967 --> 00:06:40,167 LEAVED TO HAVE KILLED HIM, 171 00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:41,867 ACCORDING TO A STUDY. 172 00:06:41,867 --> 00:06:43,733 IT INCLUDES A GENETIC RISK FOR 173 00:06:43,733 --> 00:06:45,433 LIVER DISEASE PLUS A 174 00:06:45,433 --> 00:06:47,067 LIVER-DAMAGING HEPATITIS B 175 00:06:47,067 --> 00:06:47,867 INFECTION IN THE LAST MONTHS OF 176 00:06:47,867 --> 00:06:50,067 HIS LIFE. 177 00:06:50,067 --> 00:06:51,567 >> Al: I AM SO IMPRESSED BY 178 00:06:51,567 --> 00:06:54,100 THE SIGNS, BUT DID WE REALLY 179 00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:56,267 NEED TO KNOW HOW BEETHOVEN DIED? 180 00:06:56,267 --> 00:06:58,067 I FEEL LIKE MOST PEOPLE LIVING 181 00:06:58,067 --> 00:07:01,233 IN THE 19TH CENTURY DIED FROM 182 00:07:01,233 --> 00:07:03,433 LIVING IN THE 19TH CENTURY. 183 00:07:03,433 --> 00:07:04,300 [LAUGHTER] 184 00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:05,733 NOW, IF YOU'RE WONDERING HOW 185 00:07:05,733 --> 00:07:07,900 SOMEONE WAS ABLE TO GET 186 00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:08,667 BEETHOVEN'S HAIR, REMEMBER, HE 187 00:07:08,667 --> 00:07:10,967 WAS DEAF. 188 00:07:10,967 --> 00:07:11,767 IT'S NOT TOO HARD TO SNEAK UP ON 189 00:07:11,767 --> 00:07:16,233 A DEAF PERSON PLAYING PIANO AND 190 00:07:16,233 --> 00:07:18,332 SNIP OFF A SOUVENIR. 191 00:07:18,332 --> 00:07:18,967 [LAUGHTER] 192 00:07:18,967 --> 00:07:20,200 I'LL ADMIT I DID THE EXACT SAME 193 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,933 THING MULTIPLE TIMES, MAINLY TO 194 00:07:22,933 --> 00:07:24,967 RAY CHARLES. 195 00:07:24,967 --> 00:07:25,367 [LAUGHTER] 196 00:07:25,367 --> 00:07:29,533 HEY, LOOK, WE HAVE THE GUY'S DNA 197 00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:33,267 CAN BE THE ONLY ONE THINKING IT. 198 00:07:33,267 --> 00:07:36,867 OF LET'S MAKE A BEETHOVEN 199 00:07:36,867 --> 00:07:40,267 JURASSIC PARK. 200 00:07:40,267 --> 00:07:41,167 I FOR ONE WOULD LOVE TO SEE THE 201 00:07:41,167 --> 00:07:46,100 BRILLIANCE COMPOSER OF THE FIFTH 202 00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:51,767 SYMPHONY EAT JEFF GOLDBLUM. 203 00:07:51,767 --> 00:08:01,633 [APPLAUSE] 204 00:08:01,633 --> 00:08:03,433 FOR MORE ON THIS SCIENTIFIC 205 00:08:03,433 --> 00:08:05,733 BREAKTHROUGH, WE TURN TO MICHAEL 206 00:08:05,733 --> 00:08:09,700 KOSTA. 207 00:08:09,700 --> 00:08:11,700 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 208 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:15,100 MICHAEL, THIS IS A -- THIS IS A 209 00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:16,733 PRETTY AMAZING DISCOVERY, ISN'T 210 00:08:16,733 --> 00:08:17,067 IT? 211 00:08:17,067 --> 00:08:18,067 >> I GUESS SO. 212 00:08:18,067 --> 00:08:20,667 BUT WHEN SCIENTISTS DIG SOMEONE 213 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:21,900 UP TO STUDY THEIR DNA, IT'S AN 214 00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:24,300 AMAZING DISCOVERY, BUT WHEN I DO 215 00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:30,067 IT IT'S A FELONY MAG [LAUGHTER] 216 00:08:30,067 --> 00:08:31,367 >> Al: BUT IT IS AMAZING THAT 217 00:08:31,367 --> 00:08:34,067 WE CAN LEARN HOW BEETHOVEN DIED 218 00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:35,100 JUST BY ANALYZING HIS HAIR. 219 00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:37,732 >> AND IF NOT JUST BEETHOVEN, 220 00:08:37,732 --> 00:08:38,067 AL. 221 00:08:38,067 --> 00:08:39,267 THANKS TO CUTTING-EDGE 222 00:08:39,267 --> 00:08:40,200 DISCOVERIES, SCIENTISTS CAN 223 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,533 FINALLY LEARN HOW ALL SORTS OF 224 00:08:42,533 --> 00:08:43,232 HISTORICAL FIGURES DIED. 225 00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:46,200 I MEAN, FOR EXAMPLE, AFTER 226 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:46,900 ANALYZING A DNA SAMPLE FROM 227 00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:49,100 JULIUS CAESAR, WE NOW KNOW THAT 228 00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:51,967 HE DIED FROM BEING STABBED TO 229 00:08:51,967 --> 00:08:54,133 DEATH. 230 00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:54,533 [LAUGHTER] 231 00:08:54,533 --> 00:08:57,100 >> Al: RIGHT, OF COURSE. 232 00:08:57,100 --> 00:08:57,800 SHAKESPEARE. 233 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:01,233 >> WHO YOU MET 234 00:09:01,233 --> 00:09:02,967 >> Al: WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE, 235 00:09:02,967 --> 00:09:04,367 THE LEGENDARY PLAYWRIGHT. 236 00:09:04,367 --> 00:09:05,233 >> ARE NOT A LITERATURE GUY, I'M 237 00:09:05,233 --> 00:09:06,800 A SCIENTIST. 238 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:09,700 AND HOW ABOUT THIS LITTLE 239 00:09:09,700 --> 00:09:10,300 TIDBIT, 240 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,067 PRESIDENT ABRAHAM LINCOLN, SHOT 241 00:09:11,067 --> 00:09:14,133 IN THE HEAD. 242 00:09:14,133 --> 00:09:16,100 >> Al: BY JOHN WILKES BOOTH. 243 00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:19,500 >> I'M NOT A HISTORIAN, I'M A 244 00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:20,367 SCIENTIST, AL! 245 00:09:20,367 --> 00:09:21,700 YOU THINK THEY JUST GIVE THIS 246 00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:23,667 LAB COAT TO ANYONE? 247 00:09:23,667 --> 00:09:23,967 NO! 248 00:09:23,967 --> 00:09:25,233 AND THAT'S WHY THROUGH EMPIRICAL 249 00:09:25,233 --> 00:09:28,067 EVIDENCE I NOW KNOW HOW JFK DIED 250 00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:28,367 ALSO. 251 00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:30,067 >> Al: WE KNOW HE WAS SHOT IN 252 00:09:30,067 --> 00:09:32,100 THE HEAD. 253 00:09:32,100 --> 00:09:34,100 BECAUSE WHAT THE [BLEEP]! 254 00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:36,800 DID SOMEONE WEEK THIS REPORT TO 255 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:37,100 YOU? 256 00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:39,567 >> Al: NO, IT'S JUST THAT YOUR 257 00:09:39,567 --> 00:09:41,800 SCIENCE ONLY SEEMS TO BE 258 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:42,567 CONFIRMING WELL-KNOWN HISTORICAL 259 00:09:42,567 --> 00:09:42,900 FACTS. 260 00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:43,900 AGO OKAY. 261 00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:45,067 I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW 262 00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:47,133 QUEEN ELIZABETH DIED. 263 00:09:47,133 --> 00:09:50,467 >> Al: SHE WAS 96, SO I'M 264 00:09:50,467 --> 00:09:51,900 GUESSING NATURAL CAUSES. 265 00:09:51,900 --> 00:09:53,767 >> NO! 266 00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:56,133 METH OVERDOSE! 267 00:09:56,133 --> 00:09:58,333 TURNS OUT THE OLD GIRL COULDN'T 268 00:09:58,333 --> 00:09:59,100 HANDLE A LITTLE KENSINGTON CRANK 269 00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:00,433 AT HER AGE. 270 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:01,400 AND THAT'S A LESSON FOR ALL YOU 271 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,733 KIDS OUT THERE. 272 00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:07,967 DON'T WAIT TOO LONG TO TRY METH. 273 00:10:07,967 --> 00:10:08,367 [LAUGHTER] 274 00:10:08,367 --> 00:10:09,233 >> Al: THAT IS A TERRIBLE 275 00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:11,600 LESSON, MICHAEL! 276 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:14,433 MICHAEL KOSTA, EVERYONE. 277 00:10:14,433 --> 00:10:19,233 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 278 00:10:19,233 --> 00:10:20,000 ALL RIGHT. 279 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,967 WHEN WE COME BACK, I WILL TELL 280 00:10:21,967 --> 00:10:24,833 YOU WHY TAXES ARE GOOD, SO DON'T 281 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:25,200 GO AWAY. 282 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:30,900 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 283 00:10:51,267 --> 00:10:51,867 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 284 00:10:51,867 --> 00:10:53,833 >> Al: WELCOME BACK! 285 00:10:53,833 --> 00:10:54,333 WELCOME BACK TO 286 00:10:54,333 --> 00:10:54,867 "THE DAILY SHOW." 287 00:10:54,867 --> 00:10:56,233 WELL, IT'S TAX SEASON, OR AS 288 00:10:56,233 --> 00:10:58,233 DONALD TRUMP CALLS IT, "WOULD 289 00:10:58,233 --> 00:10:59,800 YOU GET OFF MY BACK ALREADY!" 290 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:00,533 AND BIDEN ADMINISTRATION 291 00:11:00,533 --> 00:11:01,333 ADMINISTRATION HAS BEEN MAKING A 292 00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:03,867 BIG EFFORT TO MAKE TAX SEASON A 293 00:11:03,867 --> 00:11:05,700 BIT LESS PAINFUL. 294 00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:07,833 THE INFLATION REDUCTION ACT, 295 00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:10,067 WHICH THE PRESIDENT SIGNED LAST 296 00:11:10,067 --> 00:11:11,467 AUGUST, INCLUDES $80 BILLION IN 297 00:11:11,467 --> 00:11:14,367 NEW FUNDING FOR THE IRS TO HIRE 298 00:11:14,367 --> 00:11:16,633 NEW EMPLOYEES AND UPGRADE ITS 299 00:11:16,633 --> 00:11:19,167 TECHNOLOGY, AND IT'S WORKING. 300 00:11:19,167 --> 00:11:19,933 THE IRS IS DOING MUCH BETTER AT 301 00:11:19,933 --> 00:11:21,667 PROCESSING OUR RETURNS AND 302 00:11:21,667 --> 00:11:24,133 ANSWERING HER QUESTIONS ABOUT 303 00:11:24,133 --> 00:11:24,833 HOW TO FILE CORRECTLY, AND 304 00:11:24,833 --> 00:11:26,500 THAT'S GREAT. 305 00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:27,700 BETTER ENFORCEMENT OF TAX LAWS 306 00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:31,400 NEEDS MORE MONEY FOR ALL THE 307 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,800 MANY, MANY THINGS THE GOVERNMENT 308 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:34,133 DOES. 309 00:11:34,133 --> 00:11:35,333 SOCIAL SECURITY, MEDICARE, 310 00:11:35,333 --> 00:11:37,333 INFRASTRUCTURE, NOT TO MENTION 311 00:11:37,333 --> 00:11:41,067 SCRAPING OFF THE FECES SMEARED 312 00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:41,700 ON THE CAPITAL WHILE BY THE 313 00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:43,767 PROUD BOYS. 314 00:11:43,767 --> 00:11:45,833 CLEARLY THE NEW FUNDING IS LONG 315 00:11:45,833 --> 00:11:46,200 OVERDUE. 316 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:46,867 IN ADDITION TO PAYING FOR 317 00:11:46,867 --> 00:11:49,733 IMMENSELY POPULAR PROGRAMS, IT 318 00:11:49,733 --> 00:11:51,133 WILL HELP REDUCE THE DEFICIT, SO 319 00:11:51,133 --> 00:11:52,933 EVERYBODY HAS GOT TO BE HAPPY 320 00:11:52,933 --> 00:11:53,367 ABOUT THIS. 321 00:11:53,367 --> 00:11:54,300 EVERYBODY, RIGHT? 322 00:11:54,300 --> 00:11:56,700 AM I RIGHT? 323 00:11:56,700 --> 00:11:57,300 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 324 00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:58,300 >> DEMOCRATS WANT TO SPEND 325 00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:00,800 $80 BILLION TO HIRE 87,000 MORE 326 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:04,300 ARMED IRS AGENTS TO TERRORIZE 327 00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:04,700 AMERICANS. 328 00:12:04,700 --> 00:12:07,067 >> THEY WANT TO AT 87,000 IRS 329 00:12:07,067 --> 00:12:10,133 AGENTS THAT CAN USE DEADLY FORCE 330 00:12:10,133 --> 00:12:11,467 TO GO AFTER AMERICAN FAMILIES 331 00:12:11,467 --> 00:12:11,800 BURIED 332 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:12,800 >> THEY WANT TO TURN THE IRS 333 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,800 INTO THE GESTAPO. 334 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:17,367 >> THEY ARE ARMING UP THE IRS 335 00:12:17,367 --> 00:12:18,333 LIKE THEY ARE PREPARING TO TAKE 336 00:12:18,333 --> 00:12:18,733 FALLUJAH. 337 00:12:18,733 --> 00:12:20,733 >> A LITTLE LIKE JAMES BOND BUT 338 00:12:20,733 --> 00:12:21,433 INSTEAD OF HUNTING DOWN EVIL 339 00:12:21,433 --> 00:12:23,767 MANIACS, THESE AGENTS HUNT DOWN 340 00:12:23,767 --> 00:12:24,400 AND KILLED MIDDLE-CLASS 341 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:28,267 TAXPAYERS THAT DON'T PAY ENOUGH. 342 00:12:28,267 --> 00:12:28,667 [LAUGHTER] 343 00:12:28,667 --> 00:12:32,100 >> Al: WHAT ON EARTH ARE THESE 344 00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:32,700 PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT? 345 00:12:32,700 --> 00:12:35,133 IF YOU FORGET TO CARRY THE ONE 346 00:12:35,133 --> 00:12:36,233 WHILE YOU'RE CALCULATING YOUR 347 00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:37,067 RETURN, WILL THE IRS ACTUALLY 348 00:12:37,067 --> 00:12:38,633 COME TO YOUR HOUSE, BREAK DOWN 349 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:41,933 THE DOOR, AND GONE DOWN YOUR 350 00:12:41,933 --> 00:12:44,633 ENTIRE FAMILY? 351 00:12:44,633 --> 00:12:45,200 [LAUGHTER] 352 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:46,067 IN A WORD, NO. 353 00:12:46,067 --> 00:12:50,100 IN SIX WORDS, OF COURSE NOT, YOU 354 00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:53,633 REPUBLICAN IDIOTS! 355 00:12:53,633 --> 00:12:55,700 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 356 00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:58,367 SO LET'S TALK ABOUT WHAT THE IRS 357 00:12:58,367 --> 00:13:01,367 MONEY IS REALLY GOING FOR. 358 00:13:01,367 --> 00:13:04,100 IN ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF "LONG 359 00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:05,433 STORY SHORT." 360 00:13:05,433 --> 00:13:06,067 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 361 00:13:06,067 --> 00:13:11,267 * 362 00:13:11,267 --> 00:13:13,567 THE ADMINISTRATION IS TRYING TO 363 00:13:13,567 --> 00:13:16,067 FIX A WHOLE HOST OF PROBLEMS 364 00:13:16,067 --> 00:13:18,367 THAT BEGAN BACK IN 2011 AFTER 365 00:13:18,367 --> 00:13:19,133 REPUBLICANS IN CONGRESS STARTED 366 00:13:19,133 --> 00:13:23,633 CUTTING THE IRS'S BUDGET. 367 00:13:23,633 --> 00:13:26,233 SINCE THEN, THE IRS'S AUDIT RATE 368 00:13:26,233 --> 00:13:28,067 HAS DROPPED ALMOST 60% IN THE 369 00:13:28,067 --> 00:13:31,333 NUMBER OF IRS AGENTS, THE SAME 370 00:13:31,333 --> 00:13:35,467 NUMBER WE HAD IN 1954, WHEN THE 371 00:13:35,467 --> 00:13:36,200 COUNTRY'S POPULATION WAS HALF 372 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,733 THE SIZE IT IS TODAY. 373 00:13:38,733 --> 00:13:40,533 OF AND PEDIATRICIANS TREATED 374 00:13:40,533 --> 00:13:41,500 SICK CHILDREN BY PRESCRIBING 375 00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:45,067 THEM MENTHOL CIGARETTES. 376 00:13:45,067 --> 00:13:48,800 AND THE COMBINATION OF 377 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:49,567 UNDERSTAFFING AND STONE AGE 378 00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:52,433 TECHNOLOGY HAS RESULTED IN A 379 00:13:52,433 --> 00:13:54,733 VERY WEIRD SITUATION. 380 00:13:54,733 --> 00:13:57,067 >> YOU'RE MORE LIKELY TO BE 381 00:13:57,067 --> 00:13:58,067 AUDITED IN UNITED STATES IF YOU 382 00:13:58,067 --> 00:14:00,667 MAKE $20,000 A YEAR THAN IF YOU 383 00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:02,200 MAKE $500,000 A YEAR. 384 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,433 >> THE LESS MONEY YOU HAVE, THE 385 00:14:04,433 --> 00:14:06,067 EASIER IT IS FOR THE IRS TO COME 386 00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:06,467 AFTER YOU. 387 00:14:06,467 --> 00:14:07,400 THIS IS BECAUSE THE IRS DOESN'T 388 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,600 HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO HIRE THE 389 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,433 HIGHLY TRAINED INVESTIGATORS 390 00:14:12,433 --> 00:14:14,067 NEEDED TO GO HEAD-TO-HEAD WITH 391 00:14:14,067 --> 00:14:14,500 THE WEALTHY. 392 00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:16,500 ULTIMATELY, IT'S EASIER FOR THEM 393 00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:17,367 TO AUDIT LOWER INCOME PEOPLE 394 00:14:17,367 --> 00:14:19,867 BECAUSE IT'S CHEAP, CAN BE DONE 395 00:14:19,867 --> 00:14:20,933 BY MAIL, AND DOESN'T TAKE A LOT 396 00:14:20,933 --> 00:14:24,833 OF TIME. 397 00:14:24,833 --> 00:14:25,333 [BOOS] 398 00:14:25,333 --> 00:14:27,367 >> Al: CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? 399 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,900 THE IRS IS SO UNDERSTAFFED THAT 400 00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:32,500 THEY AUDIT POOR PEOPLE MORE THAN 401 00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:33,267 THE WEALTHY BECAUSE THEY JUST 402 00:14:33,267 --> 00:14:35,700 DON'T HAVE THE EXPERTS TO HANDLE 403 00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:37,733 THE MOST COMPLEX RETURNS. 404 00:14:37,733 --> 00:14:39,667 THEY ARE GOING AFTER POOR PEOPLE 405 00:14:39,667 --> 00:14:41,500 BECAUSE IT'S EASIER. 406 00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:44,267 IT'S LIKE A COMIC ONLY DOES 407 00:14:44,267 --> 00:14:46,067 "YOUR MAMA" JOKES. 408 00:14:46,067 --> 00:14:47,933 SURE, IT'S EASY, BUT AT WHAT 409 00:14:47,933 --> 00:14:52,067 COST TO MY MAMA? 410 00:14:52,067 --> 00:14:52,433 [LAUGHTER] 411 00:14:52,433 --> 00:15:01,933 [APPLAUSE] 412 00:15:01,933 --> 00:15:04,300 HER LIFE IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH. 413 00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:06,833 DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO 414 00:15:06,833 --> 00:15:15,067 FIND A BELT SIZE OF THE EQUATOR? 415 00:15:15,067 --> 00:15:15,433 [LAUGHTER] 416 00:15:15,433 --> 00:15:18,200 SO HOW MUCH MONEY IN LOST TAXES 417 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,433 ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HERE? 418 00:15:21,433 --> 00:15:22,200 ACCORDING TO THE FORMER HEAD OF 419 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,500 THE IRS, IT COULD BE AS MUCH AS 420 00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:27,400 $1 TRILLION A YEAR. 421 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:32,067 TO PUT THAT IN PERSPECTIVE, 422 00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:32,833 STACKED TRILLION $1 BILLS ON TOP 423 00:15:32,833 --> 00:15:39,600 OF EACH OTHER, IT WOULD BLOW 424 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:39,933 AWAY. 425 00:15:39,933 --> 00:15:42,767 IT WOULD BE RIDICULOUS TO EVEN 426 00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:45,300 TRY THAT. 427 00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:49,767 THE SOLUTION IS PRETTY SIMPLE -- 428 00:15:49,767 --> 00:15:51,633 [LAUGHTER] 429 00:15:51,633 --> 00:15:55,333 COMPARATIVELY SPEAKING, JUST 430 00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:57,633 ADEQUATELY FUND THE IRS SO IT 431 00:15:57,633 --> 00:15:59,833 CAN IMPROVE ITS ENFORCEMENT 432 00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:00,633 CAPABILITIES AND COLLECT THAT 433 00:16:00,633 --> 00:16:03,600 EXTRA TRILLION DOLLARS. 434 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:08,067 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 435 00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:10,367 YOU WOULD THINK REPUBLICANS 436 00:16:10,367 --> 00:16:11,133 WOULD LOVE AN EXTRA TRILLION 437 00:16:11,133 --> 00:16:12,800 DOLLARS IN REVENUE. 438 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,867 THEY ARE THE ONES WERE ALWAYS 439 00:16:14,867 --> 00:16:16,067 COMPLAINING THAT AMERICA IS 440 00:16:16,067 --> 00:16:18,500 SPENDING MONEY THAT WE DON'T 441 00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:19,300 HAVE WORRIED 442 00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:20,067 >> POLITICIANS IN WASHINGTON 443 00:16:20,067 --> 00:16:22,900 CANNOT STOP ENDING MONEY THAT WE 444 00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:23,333 DON'T HAVE. 445 00:16:23,333 --> 00:16:25,400 >> LET'S LIVE IN REALITY. 446 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:26,633 WE HAVE A SPENDING PROBLEM. 447 00:16:26,633 --> 00:16:28,267 WE HAVE A DRAMATIC SPENDING 448 00:16:28,267 --> 00:16:28,633 PROBLEM. 449 00:16:28,633 --> 00:16:29,967 >> IF YOU HAD A CHILD AND YOU 450 00:16:29,967 --> 00:16:31,400 GIVE THEM A CREDIT CARD AND THEY 451 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:32,733 KEPT GETTING THE LIMIT, YOU 452 00:16:32,733 --> 00:16:34,500 WOULDN'T JUST KEEP INCREASING 453 00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:35,067 IT. 454 00:16:35,067 --> 00:16:35,967 YOU WOULD FIRST SEE WHAT YOU 455 00:16:35,967 --> 00:16:37,800 SPENDING YOUR MONEY ON. 456 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,067 SO WE ARE GOING TO LOOK AT EVERY 457 00:16:40,067 --> 00:16:40,900 SINGLE DOLLAR SPENT, WE ARE 458 00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:42,567 GOING TO AUDIT IT. 459 00:16:42,567 --> 00:16:44,167 >> IF YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A 460 00:16:44,167 --> 00:16:48,633 PARTY, YOU HAVE TO PAY THE BAND. 461 00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:49,067 [LAUGHTER] 462 00:16:49,067 --> 00:16:50,333 >> Al: COME ON, SENATOR, YOU 463 00:16:50,333 --> 00:16:52,233 DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A BAND AT A 464 00:16:52,233 --> 00:16:52,900 PARTY. 465 00:16:52,900 --> 00:16:56,067 JUST HIRE YOUR NEPHEW'S ROOMMATE 466 00:16:56,067 --> 00:16:59,067 TO BE A D.J. 467 00:16:59,067 --> 00:16:59,433 [LAUGHTER] 468 00:16:59,433 --> 00:17:01,200 JUST THINK WHAT WE COULD DO WITH 469 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,833 AN EXTRA TRILLION DOLLARS A 470 00:17:02,833 --> 00:17:03,267 YEAR. 471 00:17:03,267 --> 00:17:04,599 WE COULD BEGIN TO RETIRE OUR 472 00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:06,800 NATIONAL DEBT AND BALANCE OUR 473 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:07,166 BUDGET. 474 00:17:07,166 --> 00:17:08,767 OR WE COULD DO SOME NEW THINGS 475 00:17:08,767 --> 00:17:11,400 THAT WOULD BE WORTHY OF A GREAT 476 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:11,767 NATION. 477 00:17:11,767 --> 00:17:16,300 WE COULD HAVE UNIVERSAL PRE-K. 478 00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:19,666 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 479 00:17:19,666 --> 00:17:22,666 OR SUBSIDIZED CHILD CARE THEY DO 480 00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:24,733 EVERYWHERE ELSE. 481 00:17:24,733 --> 00:17:26,800 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 482 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,099 WE COULD ELIMINATE FEDERAL 483 00:17:28,099 --> 00:17:31,700 INCOME TAXES COMPLETELY FOR THE 484 00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:32,467 BOTTOM 90% OF AMERICAN 485 00:17:32,467 --> 00:17:35,067 HOUSEHOLDS. 486 00:17:35,067 --> 00:17:35,600 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 487 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:39,067 IN THIS -- THIS ISN'T JUST LEFTY 488 00:17:39,067 --> 00:17:41,067 LIBERAL PIE-IN-THE-SKY STUFF 489 00:17:41,067 --> 00:17:42,333 WITH A TRILLION DOLLARS RATE OF 490 00:17:42,333 --> 00:17:46,067 WE COULD DO -- WE COULD FUND AN 491 00:17:46,067 --> 00:17:48,267 ENTIRELY NEW IRAQ WAR. 492 00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:48,667 [LAUGHTER] 493 00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:51,467 AND WHY ARE WE THE ONLY [BLEEP] 494 00:17:51,467 --> 00:17:54,233 COUNTRY THAT DOESN'T HAVE -- 495 00:17:54,233 --> 00:17:54,967 DEVELOPED COUNTRY THAT DOESN'T 496 00:17:54,967 --> 00:17:59,167 HAVE UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE? 497 00:17:59,167 --> 00:18:01,167 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 498 00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:02,633 AND IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE 499 00:18:02,633 --> 00:18:03,100 SINGLE-PAYER. 500 00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:05,533 WE CAN HAVE A PUBLIC OPTION, 501 00:18:05,533 --> 00:18:08,167 WHICH WE SHOULD HAVE [BLEEP] 502 00:18:08,167 --> 00:18:10,367 DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE, 503 00:18:10,367 --> 00:18:12,567 LIEBERMAN! 504 00:18:12,567 --> 00:18:12,967 [APPLAUSE] 505 00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:15,133 THE POINT IS, POLLING SHOWS THAT 506 00:18:15,133 --> 00:18:18,300 93% OF AMERICANS BELIEVE IT'S 507 00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:19,067 EVERY AMERICAN'S CIVIC DUTY TO 508 00:18:19,067 --> 00:18:22,733 PAY THEIR TAXES AND I THINK YOU 509 00:18:22,733 --> 00:18:25,333 CAN GUESS WHO THE OTHER 7% ARE. 510 00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:29,200 [APPLAUSE] 511 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,067 SO LET'S GIVE THE IRS THE 512 00:18:31,067 --> 00:18:33,567 RESOURCES TO MAKE SURE THAT 513 00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:35,100 EVERYBODY DOES WHAT WE ALL 514 00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:38,467 SHOULD DO FOR THE RIGHT OF 515 00:18:38,467 --> 00:18:40,800 LIVING IN THIS GREAT COUNTRY, A 516 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,700 NATION THAT WE CAN MAKE EVEN 517 00:18:43,700 --> 00:18:46,600 BETTER IF WE DO THE [BLEEP] 518 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,067 RATIONAL THING AND COLLECT THE 519 00:18:48,067 --> 00:18:51,533 TAXES THAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY OWE. 520 00:18:51,533 --> 00:18:56,067 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 521 00:18:56,067 --> 00:18:59,633 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 522 00:18:59,633 --> 00:19:00,467 ALL RIGHT, STAY TUNED, BECAUSE 523 00:19:00,467 --> 00:19:03,667 WHEN WE COME BACK, 524 00:19:03,667 --> 00:19:05,500 BenDeLaCREME WILL BE JOINING 525 00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:21,333 US, SO DON'T GO AWAY. 526 00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:25,967 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 527 00:19:25,967 --> 00:19:28,400 >> Al: WELCOME BACK TO -- 528 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,067 WELCOME BACK TO 529 00:19:31,067 --> 00:19:31,633 "THE DAILY SHOW." 530 00:19:31,633 --> 00:19:33,733 MY GUEST TONIGHT AS A WRITER, 531 00:19:33,733 --> 00:19:35,700 PRODUCER AND DIRECTOR YOU KNOW 532 00:19:35,700 --> 00:19:38,967 FROM "RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE." 533 00:19:38,967 --> 00:19:39,567 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 534 00:19:39,567 --> 00:19:42,900 IS HERE TO TALK ABOUT THE DRAG 535 00:19:42,900 --> 00:19:44,533 DEFENSE FUND, WHICH BENEFITS THE 536 00:19:44,533 --> 00:19:50,300 ACLU'S LGBTQ+ RIGHTS WORK. 537 00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:52,533 PLEASE WELCOME 538 00:19:52,533 --> 00:19:54,500 BEN DeLaCREME! 539 00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:55,700 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 540 00:19:55,700 --> 00:20:13,433 * 541 00:20:13,433 --> 00:20:15,500 WELCOME! 542 00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:15,867 WELCOME! 543 00:20:15,867 --> 00:20:17,000 >> I HAD NO IDEA! 544 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,467 THIS IS SO LOVELY! 545 00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:19,900 I DIDN'T KNOW THE AUDIENCE WAS 546 00:20:19,900 --> 00:20:22,400 GOING TO GO SO CRAZY. 547 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:23,633 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 548 00:20:23,633 --> 00:20:24,433 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN 549 00:20:24,433 --> 00:20:27,700 AFTER LINDSEY GRAHAM. 550 00:20:27,700 --> 00:20:31,200 [LAUGHTER] 551 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:35,167 >> Al: [AWKWARD LAUGH] 552 00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:38,633 BEFORE WE GET INTO THESE 553 00:20:38,633 --> 00:20:39,400 ANTIDRAG BILLS THAT ARE POPPING 554 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,400 UP AROUND THE COUNTRY, I THINK 555 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:45,633 THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE 556 00:20:45,633 --> 00:20:48,200 OBJECTING TO DRAG WITHOUT EVEN 557 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:51,833 HAVING ANY IDEA WHAT IT IS. 558 00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:54,467 AND I KNOW I'VE NEVER -- I'VE 559 00:20:54,467 --> 00:20:55,733 NEVER GONE TO A DRAG SHOW, AND 560 00:20:55,733 --> 00:21:00,333 CAN YOU EXPLAIN DRAG? 561 00:21:00,333 --> 00:21:01,500 >> ABSOLUTELY. 562 00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:02,400 SOMEBODY WAS JUST SHOCKED YOU'VE 563 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:07,700 NEVER BEEN TO A DRAG SHOW. 564 00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:08,867 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 565 00:21:08,867 --> 00:21:09,533 >> Al: I'M EMBARRASSED... 566 00:21:09,533 --> 00:21:11,167 >> NO, NO, IT'S NOT SHOCKING 567 00:21:11,167 --> 00:21:12,533 THAT YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO A SHOW 568 00:21:12,533 --> 00:21:13,967 YOU WOULD THINK OF AS A DRAG 569 00:21:13,967 --> 00:21:16,067 SHOW BUT YOU'VE SEEN 570 00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:21,600 "MRS. DOUBTFIRE" OR "TOOTSIE," 571 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:22,233 OR ANY OF THOSE. 572 00:21:22,233 --> 00:21:22,967 >> Al: I DIDN'T REALIZE THEY 573 00:21:22,967 --> 00:21:25,167 WERE IN DRAG. 574 00:21:25,167 --> 00:21:25,567 [LAUGHTER] 575 00:21:25,567 --> 00:21:28,333 >> THAT IS SOME VERY CONVINCING 576 00:21:28,333 --> 00:21:28,733 COSTUMING. 577 00:21:28,733 --> 00:21:29,900 DRAG IS SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN 578 00:21:29,900 --> 00:21:30,667 PART OF THE CULTURE FOR A VERY 579 00:21:30,667 --> 00:21:31,500 LONG TIME IN A LOT OF DIFFERENT 580 00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:33,200 WAYS AND SO THERE'S MANY TYPES 581 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,567 OF IT THAT WE HAVE SORT OF BEEN 582 00:21:35,567 --> 00:21:36,233 ACCEPTING IN CONTEMPORARY 583 00:21:36,233 --> 00:21:39,067 CULTURE LIKE THOSE EXAMPLES, BUT 584 00:21:39,067 --> 00:21:41,267 IT IS SOMETHING THAT HEARKENS 585 00:21:41,267 --> 00:21:42,467 BACK TO -- WE SEE IT IN 586 00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:45,200 SHAKESPEARE, WE SEE IT IN KABUKI 587 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:45,867 THEATER, ACROSS CULTURES. 588 00:21:45,867 --> 00:21:48,633 IT IS SOMETHING THAT HAS JUST 589 00:21:48,633 --> 00:21:49,500 BEEN INNATE AND UNQUESTIONED FOR 590 00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:53,400 A LONG TIME, BUT WITHIN AMERICAN 591 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,500 HISTORY, I MEAN, DRAG IS 592 00:21:55,500 --> 00:21:59,067 SOMETHING THAT HAS UPLIFTED AND 593 00:21:59,067 --> 00:22:00,700 PROTECTED AND FOUGHT FOR THE 594 00:22:00,700 --> 00:22:04,300 QUEER COMMUNITY PRESTONEWALL. 595 00:22:04,300 --> 00:22:09,067 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 596 00:22:09,067 --> 00:22:10,700 PRESTONEWALL ERA, QUEER PEOPLE 597 00:22:10,700 --> 00:22:12,333 HAD TO CONGREGATE IN CLUBS AND 598 00:22:12,333 --> 00:22:13,367 BARS, THAT WAS THE ONE PLACE 599 00:22:13,367 --> 00:22:16,900 THEY COULD SORT OF FIND 600 00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:17,733 COMMUNITY AND FIND TOGETHERNESS 601 00:22:17,733 --> 00:22:21,067 AND FEEL SAFE EVEN THOUGH THEY THERE 602 00:22:21,067 --> 00:22:22,700 WERE CONSTANTLY POLICE RAIDS ON 603 00:22:22,700 --> 00:22:24,533 MOST PLACES AND DRAG QUEENS, 604 00:22:24,533 --> 00:22:25,167 TRANS WOMEN WHERE THE 605 00:22:25,167 --> 00:22:26,700 ENTERTAINERS, THE MATRIARCHS, 606 00:22:26,700 --> 00:22:30,867 THE PEOPLE WHO FOSTERED THIS 607 00:22:30,867 --> 00:22:31,267 COMMUNITY. 608 00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:32,067 AND STONEWALL, WHICH WAS THE 609 00:22:32,067 --> 00:22:34,900 ALLEGED BEGINNING OF THE 610 00:22:34,900 --> 00:22:35,633 GAY RIGHTS MOVEMENT, WHEN IT 611 00:22:35,633 --> 00:22:36,767 ROLLED AROUND, THEY WERE THE 612 00:22:36,767 --> 00:22:39,200 FOLKS WHO REALLY STARTED THE 613 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:39,533 RIOT. 614 00:22:39,533 --> 00:22:41,300 >> Al: YEP, YEP. 615 00:22:41,300 --> 00:22:46,833 [APPLAUSE] 616 00:22:46,833 --> 00:22:50,867 ON "DRAG RACE," YOU SING, YOU 617 00:22:50,867 --> 00:22:55,400 WORK THE RUNWAY. 618 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:56,267 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 619 00:22:56,267 --> 00:22:57,667 YOU CREATE AND PERFORM YOUR OWN 620 00:22:57,667 --> 00:22:59,867 VARIETY SHOW. 621 00:22:59,867 --> 00:23:04,633 IT'S JUST ALL THE THINGS THAT I 622 00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:13,267 DO, EXCEPT THE RUNWAY AND THE... 623 00:23:13,267 --> 00:23:14,100 SINGING. 624 00:23:14,100 --> 00:23:16,700 >> WELL, YOU ARE IN GOOD COMPANY 625 00:23:16,700 --> 00:23:17,367 WITH DRAG QUEENS NOT BEING 626 00:23:17,367 --> 00:23:19,267 ESPECIALLY GOOD SINGERS AND YOU 627 00:23:19,267 --> 00:23:22,067 AND I CAN WORK ON YOUR RUNWAY. 628 00:23:22,067 --> 00:23:22,400 [LAUGHTER] 629 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:25,233 >> Al: THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 630 00:23:25,233 --> 00:23:26,800 AND YOU DIRECT AND YOU WRITE AND 631 00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:33,067 PRODUCE A 70-MINUTE SHOW, DRAG 632 00:23:33,067 --> 00:23:34,867 SHOWS, DIFFERENT ONES, RIGHT? 633 00:23:34,867 --> 00:23:37,833 WHAT ARE THOSE SHOWS ABOUT? 634 00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:39,300 >> YEAH, SO I DO A LOT OF 635 00:23:39,300 --> 00:23:40,067 DIFFERENT STUFF THAT'S MORE IN 636 00:23:40,067 --> 00:23:41,633 THE THEATRICAL REALMS. 637 00:23:41,633 --> 00:23:44,133 SO SOME OF THEM ARE EVENING 638 00:23:44,133 --> 00:23:45,933 LENGTH PLAYS AS YOU WOULD MORE 639 00:23:45,933 --> 00:23:47,133 TRADITIONALLY KNOW. 640 00:23:47,133 --> 00:23:49,667 SOME OF THEM ARE CABARETS WITH 641 00:23:49,667 --> 00:23:50,367 THROUGH LINES, AND THAT'S 642 00:23:50,367 --> 00:23:51,067 ANOTHER THING ABOUT DRAG. 643 00:23:51,067 --> 00:23:52,267 IT IS SO MANY THINGS. 644 00:23:52,267 --> 00:23:54,067 A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK OF IT AS 645 00:23:54,067 --> 00:23:55,433 WHAT WE KNOW IT IS FROM REALITY 646 00:23:55,433 --> 00:23:57,800 TV RIGHT NOW, WHICH IS LARGELY 647 00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:58,867 LIP-SYNCHING AND BIG DANCE 648 00:23:58,867 --> 00:23:59,700 MOVEMENTS, WHICH IS REALLY 649 00:23:59,700 --> 00:24:00,900 EXCITING, BUT THERE'S ALSO A 650 00:24:00,900 --> 00:24:03,833 WHOLE HISTORY OF THEATER AND A 651 00:24:03,833 --> 00:24:05,167 LOT OF OTHER DISCIPLINES. 652 00:24:05,167 --> 00:24:07,900 SO MY SHOWS ARE SHOWS THAT ARE 653 00:24:07,900 --> 00:24:11,200 ESSENTIALLY A LOVE LETTER TO THE 654 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:12,900 QUEER COMMUNITY, TO FOLKS WHO 655 00:24:12,900 --> 00:24:17,733 NEED TO FEEL A SENSE OF HOPE AND 656 00:24:17,733 --> 00:24:21,067 A SENSE OF GENEROSITY. 657 00:24:21,067 --> 00:24:26,333 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 658 00:24:26,333 --> 00:24:27,833 SPECIFICALLY I DO A HOLIDAY SHOW 659 00:24:27,833 --> 00:24:33,133 WITH MY GOOD FRIEND JINKS AND WE'VE 660 00:24:33,133 --> 00:24:34,800 BEEN TOURING THAT FOR -- THIS 661 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,267 WILL BE OUR EXTERIOR. 662 00:24:37,267 --> 00:24:38,567 IT'S NOT -- I'M NOT ANNOUNCING 663 00:24:38,567 --> 00:24:40,433 IT BUT IT'S ARE 60 YEAR COMING 664 00:24:40,700 --> 00:24:43,967 UP AND THAT IS VERY MUCH ROOTED 665 00:24:43,967 --> 00:24:44,433 IN THE IDEA -- 666 00:24:44,433 --> 00:24:46,600 >> Al: IT'S A CHRISTMAS SHOW. 667 00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:47,233 >> YEAH. 668 00:24:47,233 --> 00:24:48,500 WE DO IT EVERY NOVEMBER AND 669 00:24:48,500 --> 00:24:50,433 DECEMBER AND THAT CAME ABOUT 670 00:24:50,433 --> 00:24:52,100 BECAUSE OF JUST RELEASING THE 671 00:24:52,100 --> 00:24:54,467 NEED AMONG QUEER YOUNG PEOPLE 672 00:24:54,467 --> 00:24:57,433 AND QUEER ADULTS TO FEEL A SENSE 673 00:24:57,433 --> 00:24:58,800 OF FAMILY AND HOMECOMING AT A 674 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:01,567 TIME OF YEAR WHEN WE CAN HAVE A 675 00:25:01,567 --> 00:25:03,633 LOT OF MESSAGING THAT WE DON'T 676 00:25:03,633 --> 00:25:04,200 FEEL INCLUDED IN. 677 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:05,533 THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE 678 00:25:05,533 --> 00:25:07,467 STRAINED RELATIONSHIPS WITH 679 00:25:07,467 --> 00:25:08,267 THEIR FAMILIES, AND SO THIS SHOW 680 00:25:08,267 --> 00:25:11,900 IS A MESSAGE OF -- AND YOU KNOW, 681 00:25:11,900 --> 00:25:13,333 IT'S GAUDY AND IT'S FUNNY OTHER 682 00:25:13,333 --> 00:25:14,133 SPEAKS BARKLEY DANCES BUT AT ITS 683 00:25:14,133 --> 00:25:15,167 HEART IT'S 684 00:25:16,900 --> 00:25:19,267 -- ABOUT COMING TOGETHER MAKING 685 00:25:19,267 --> 00:25:20,067 PEOPLE REALIZE THAT YOUR FUTURE 686 00:25:20,067 --> 00:25:21,667 CAN BE WHATEVER YOU WANT IT TO 687 00:25:21,667 --> 00:25:23,233 BE, YOUR TRADITIONS CAN BE WHAT 688 00:25:23,233 --> 00:25:25,867 YOU WANT THEM TO BE AND YOU CAN 689 00:25:25,867 --> 00:25:28,600 BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE. 690 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:33,067 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 691 00:25:33,067 --> 00:25:35,067 >> Al: SPEAKING ABOUT BEING 692 00:25:35,067 --> 00:25:36,567 WHO YOU WANT TO BE, LET'S TALK 693 00:25:36,567 --> 00:25:40,533 ABOUT TENNESSEE. 694 00:25:40,533 --> 00:25:47,067 IT'S THE FIRST STATE I THINK TO 695 00:25:47,067 --> 00:25:49,733 EXPLICITLY BAN -- 696 00:25:49,733 --> 00:25:51,900 >> FIRST PLACE THAT IT PASSED, 697 00:25:51,900 --> 00:25:52,233 YEAH. 698 00:25:52,233 --> 00:25:56,567 >> Al: AND IN PUBLIC PLACES 699 00:25:56,567 --> 00:25:57,433 WHERE MINORS ARE OR SOMETHING 700 00:25:57,433 --> 00:26:00,967 LIKE THAT. 701 00:26:00,967 --> 00:26:02,267 BUT NOW IT'S HAPPENING ALL OVER 702 00:26:02,267 --> 00:26:04,567 THE PLACE, RIGHT? 703 00:26:04,567 --> 00:26:08,367 THIS IS SOME NEW THING THEY'VE 704 00:26:08,367 --> 00:26:09,933 INVENTED, I'M SURE THAT MOST OF 705 00:26:09,933 --> 00:26:12,067 THE REPUBLICANS WHO ARE -- THEY 706 00:26:12,067 --> 00:26:12,967 FIND STUFF EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE 707 00:26:12,967 --> 00:26:15,700 TO GO AFTER. 708 00:26:15,700 --> 00:26:16,700 I BET YOU MOST OF THEM DON'T 709 00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:22,367 KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT. 710 00:26:22,367 --> 00:26:24,267 THERE'S THINGS I DON'T -- I'VE 711 00:26:24,267 --> 00:26:27,100 NEVER GONE TO NASCAR. 712 00:26:27,100 --> 00:26:27,500 [LAUGHTER] 713 00:26:27,500 --> 00:26:30,300 I DON'T KNOW -- I KNOW WHAT IT'S 714 00:26:30,300 --> 00:26:30,633 ABOUT. 715 00:26:30,633 --> 00:26:32,500 THERE'S A LOT OF STUFF I DON'T 716 00:26:32,500 --> 00:26:35,067 GO TO, BUT WHAT IS THIS ABOUT? 717 00:26:35,067 --> 00:26:36,867 WHAT IS THERE THING ABOUT? 718 00:26:36,867 --> 00:26:38,900 >> YEAH, I MEAN, WHAT IS THIS 719 00:26:38,900 --> 00:26:41,067 ABOUT IS KIND OF THE BIGGEST 720 00:26:41,067 --> 00:26:43,200 QUESTION BECAUSE IT'S ALL SO 721 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:44,900 VAGUE, THESE BILLS ARE 722 00:26:44,900 --> 00:26:45,733 TERRIFYING BECAUSE THE LANGUAGE 723 00:26:45,733 --> 00:26:48,900 IS SO OPEN-ENDED AND THEY ARE -- 724 00:26:48,900 --> 00:26:53,367 AND A LOT OF -- A LOT OF THESE 725 00:26:53,367 --> 00:26:54,300 PEOPLE DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND 726 00:26:54,300 --> 00:26:55,767 WHAT DRAG SHOWS ARE AND THEY 727 00:26:55,767 --> 00:26:56,900 DON'T HAVE TO BECAUSE THIS IS 728 00:26:56,900 --> 00:26:59,300 ALL SORT OF CODED LANGUAGE OR AN 729 00:26:59,300 --> 00:27:03,667 ATTACK ON THE LGBTQIA+ COMMUNITY 730 00:27:03,667 --> 00:27:04,067 COMMUNITY. 731 00:27:04,067 --> 00:27:08,233 AND THE WORDING OF THIS BILL 732 00:27:08,233 --> 00:27:09,933 TALKS ABOUT DRAG AS ADULT 733 00:27:09,933 --> 00:27:11,067 ENTERTAINMENT, WHICH IS 734 00:27:11,067 --> 00:27:13,233 INSIDIOUS WITHIN ITSELF TO SAY 735 00:27:13,233 --> 00:27:14,600 THAT SOMEONE DRESSING THIS WAY 736 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:15,567 IS ONLY APPROPRIATE FOR ADULTS 737 00:27:15,567 --> 00:27:16,933 WHEN THEY ARE NOT DOING ANYTHING 738 00:27:16,933 --> 00:27:20,500 THAT IS ADULT ORIENTED. 739 00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:21,867 AND IT ALSO TALKS ABOUT THEM NOT 740 00:27:21,867 --> 00:27:25,900 BEING ABLE TO DO IT WITHIN RANGE 741 00:27:25,900 --> 00:27:28,067 OF WHERE A MINOR COULD SEE, 742 00:27:28,067 --> 00:27:30,100 WHICH MEANS NO PRIDE PARADES, NO 743 00:27:30,100 --> 00:27:30,833 OUTDOOR PRIDE EVENTS, BUT IT 744 00:27:30,833 --> 00:27:33,967 ALSO MEANS THINGS LIKE WHAT IF 745 00:27:33,967 --> 00:27:38,867 THE WINDOW IS VIEWABLE FROM THE 746 00:27:38,867 --> 00:27:40,400 SIDEWALK IN A DRAG BAR? 747 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:41,500 IT IS ALSO SUBJECTIVE AND SO 748 00:27:41,500 --> 00:27:42,500 OPEN TO INTERPRETATION THAT THEY 749 00:27:42,500 --> 00:27:43,333 CAN REALLY KIND OF GO WHEREVER 750 00:27:43,333 --> 00:27:45,867 THEY WANT WITH IT, NOT TO 751 00:27:45,867 --> 00:27:46,633 MENTION THE FACT THAT THE BILL 752 00:27:46,633 --> 00:27:51,500 DEFINES THIS AS ADULT 753 00:27:51,500 --> 00:27:55,700 ENTERTAINMENT -- ADULT CABARET 754 00:27:55,700 --> 00:28:00,633 AS MEN OR WOMEN DRESSING AS -- 755 00:28:00,633 --> 00:28:03,133 DOING MALE OR FEMALE 756 00:28:03,133 --> 00:28:04,300 IMPERSONATION. 757 00:28:04,300 --> 00:28:06,733 AND THAT WITHIN ITSELF IS ALSO 758 00:28:06,733 --> 00:28:08,700 SOMETHING THAT -- WHO IS 759 00:28:08,700 --> 00:28:09,233 INTERPRETING THIS? 760 00:28:09,233 --> 00:28:11,600 BILL LEE, WHO GETS TO DECIDE 761 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:13,800 WHETHER HE INTO CHEERLEADER 762 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,500 SKIRT COUNTS? 763 00:28:16,500 --> 00:28:17,067 >> Al: BILL LEE? 764 00:28:17,067 --> 00:28:17,600 >> HE'S THE ONE -- THE 765 00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:21,333 GOVERNOR -- WHO THE PHOTO 766 00:28:21,333 --> 00:28:23,867 SURFACED -- HE'S THE ONE WHO 767 00:28:23,867 --> 00:28:25,633 PASSING ALL THESE LAWS. 768 00:28:25,633 --> 00:28:27,067 IN THE PHOTO SURFACED OF HIM IN 769 00:28:27,067 --> 00:28:27,700 HIGH SCHOOL DRESSED AS A 770 00:28:27,700 --> 00:28:29,267 CHEERLEADER AT SOME SORT OF 771 00:28:29,267 --> 00:28:30,067 HIGH SCHOOL EVENT AND EVERYONE 772 00:28:30,067 --> 00:28:32,433 STARTED POINTING THIS OUT AND 773 00:28:32,433 --> 00:28:33,267 SAYING THIS IS PRETTY 774 00:28:33,267 --> 00:28:35,933 HYPOCRITICAL AND HE SAID NO, NO, 775 00:28:35,933 --> 00:28:38,200 NO, THAT DOESN'T COUNT. 776 00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:43,067 THAT IS NOT OF A LEWD NATURE. 777 00:28:43,067 --> 00:28:44,267 AND SO HE HAS DECIDED THAT HE IS 778 00:28:44,267 --> 00:28:44,967 A PERSON WHO GETS TO DECIDE 779 00:28:44,967 --> 00:28:46,900 THESE THINGS. 780 00:28:46,900 --> 00:28:47,567 >> Al: CHEERLEADER OUTFITS 781 00:28:47,567 --> 00:28:54,100 HAVE NEVER BEEN CONSIDERED 782 00:28:54,100 --> 00:28:55,867 SEXUAL AT ALL... 783 00:28:55,867 --> 00:28:56,267 [LAUGHTER] 784 00:28:56,267 --> 00:28:58,100 >> BY THAT DEFINITION, EVEN THE 785 00:28:58,100 --> 00:28:59,367 MOST OF US IN 2023 UNDERSTAND 786 00:28:59,367 --> 00:29:00,933 THAT TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN AND 787 00:29:00,933 --> 00:29:03,233 TRANS MEN ARE MEN -- 788 00:29:03,233 --> 00:29:04,933 [APPLAUSE] 789 00:29:04,933 --> 00:29:06,967 THIS BILL CAN BE INTERPRETED ANY 790 00:29:06,967 --> 00:29:09,533 NUMBER OF WAYS AND IF SOMEONE 791 00:29:09,533 --> 00:29:10,733 ISN'T FORCING THIS WHO DOESN'T 792 00:29:10,733 --> 00:29:12,800 BELIEVE THAT, WHO IS TO SAY THAT 793 00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:14,533 THAT TRANS PERSON WALKING DOWN 794 00:29:14,533 --> 00:29:15,967 THE STREET IN PUBLIC, IF I VIEW 795 00:29:15,967 --> 00:29:17,167 THEM AS A MALE OR FEMALE 796 00:29:17,167 --> 00:29:19,267 IMPERSONATOR AND THEY ARE WITHIN 797 00:29:19,267 --> 00:29:21,900 THE EYESIGHT OF A CHILD, AND 798 00:29:21,900 --> 00:29:22,833 THEY ARE BREAKING THE LAW BY 799 00:29:22,833 --> 00:29:24,533 WALKING TO THE GROCERY STORE. 800 00:29:24,533 --> 00:29:26,233 IT'S TERRIFYING. 801 00:29:26,233 --> 00:29:29,467 >> Al: WHEN I WAS -- WE TALKED 802 00:29:29,467 --> 00:29:31,067 ABOUT THIS A LITTLE BIT. 803 00:29:31,067 --> 00:29:36,100 WHEN I WAS IN THE SENATE WE WERE 804 00:29:36,100 --> 00:29:38,767 REFORMING NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND, 805 00:29:38,767 --> 00:29:39,900 WHICH DIDN'T WORK VERY WELL AND 806 00:29:39,900 --> 00:29:46,067 I HAD A PIECE IN IT CALLED -- 807 00:29:46,067 --> 00:29:51,167 THAT WOULD PROTECT LGBT KIDS, 808 00:29:51,167 --> 00:29:55,667 GIVE THEM THE SAME RIGHTS AS 809 00:29:55,667 --> 00:30:00,833 WERE GIVEN TO OTHER KIDS, YOU 810 00:30:00,833 --> 00:30:03,900 KNOW, BY RACE AND GENDER. 811 00:30:03,900 --> 00:30:06,867 AND I WENT TO A COLLEAGUE, A 812 00:30:06,867 --> 00:30:07,633 REPUBLICAN COLLEAGUE WHO WAS A 813 00:30:07,633 --> 00:30:10,467 FRIEND OF MIND AND ASKED HIM TO 814 00:30:10,467 --> 00:30:12,433 SPONSOR THIS AND WHAT YOU COULD 815 00:30:12,433 --> 00:30:15,200 DO IS IF A KID WAS BEING BULLIED 816 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:20,633 FOR BEING LGBTQ THEY COULD GO TO 817 00:30:20,633 --> 00:30:21,200 THE PRINCIPAL OR THE 818 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:21,933 SUPERINTENDENT OF THE SCHOOLS 819 00:30:21,933 --> 00:30:23,733 AND IF THEY DIDN'T GET ANY -- 820 00:30:23,733 --> 00:30:26,233 THEY COULD SUE. 821 00:30:26,233 --> 00:30:27,200 THEY COULD SUE JUST LIKE THE 822 00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,100 OTHER KIDS I WAS TALKING ABOUT. 823 00:30:29,100 --> 00:30:33,900 [APPLAUSE] 824 00:30:33,900 --> 00:30:36,767 AND THE SENATOR SAID TO ME "IF 825 00:30:36,767 --> 00:30:41,133 THEY CAN DO THAT -- THEY WILL 826 00:30:41,133 --> 00:30:45,833 JUST ACT MORE GAY." 827 00:30:45,833 --> 00:30:46,333 [BOOS] 828 00:30:46,333 --> 00:30:49,967 >> WELL, FIRST OF ALL... 829 00:30:49,967 --> 00:30:50,367 [LAUGHTER] 830 00:30:50,367 --> 00:30:52,600 >> Al: AND I SAID NO, NO. 831 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:54,167 I DON'T WANT TO SAY HIS NAME. 832 00:30:54,167 --> 00:30:57,967 I SAID NO AND HE GOES "OH, YOU 833 00:30:57,967 --> 00:30:58,333 WATCH." 834 00:30:58,333 --> 00:30:59,733 I HOPE HE'S WATCHING RIGHT NOW 835 00:30:59,733 --> 00:31:01,400 AND KNOWS THAT I AM ACTING THIS 836 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:05,600 GAY NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. 837 00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:14,067 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 838 00:31:14,067 --> 00:31:15,300 >> Al: KIDS IN SCHOOL, LGBT 839 00:31:15,300 --> 00:31:20,233 KIDS IN SCHOOL, GREAT ABSENTEE, 840 00:31:20,233 --> 00:31:24,233 THERE'S ALL KINDS OF BULLYING 841 00:31:24,233 --> 00:31:26,800 OBVIOUSLY, AND THIS IS -- THIS 842 00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:28,200 WOULD REALLY HAVE HELPED KIDS. 843 00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:31,867 >> IT ABSOLUTELY WOULD HAVE. 844 00:31:31,867 --> 00:31:32,733 FROM MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, I 845 00:31:32,733 --> 00:31:34,833 GREW UP IN A SMALL TOWN IN 846 00:31:34,833 --> 00:31:36,433 CONNECTICUT, I WAS VERY, VERY 847 00:31:36,433 --> 00:31:37,133 FLAMBOYANT AND MYSELF FROM A 848 00:31:37,133 --> 00:31:40,067 VERY YOUNG AGE AND I WAS 849 00:31:40,067 --> 00:31:41,933 IDENTIFIED BY OTHER PEOPLE AS 850 00:31:41,933 --> 00:31:43,600 QUEER BEFORE I EVEN UNDERSTOOD 851 00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:47,467 HOW TO DO THAT MYSELF, AND I WAS 852 00:31:47,467 --> 00:31:49,733 MERCILESSLY BULLIED IN SCHOOL 853 00:31:49,733 --> 00:31:50,533 AND I WENT TO MY VICE PRINCIPAL, 854 00:31:50,533 --> 00:31:53,167 WHO TOLD ME THAT I SHOULD 855 00:31:53,167 --> 00:31:55,900 PROBABLY TONE IT DOWN A LITTLE. 856 00:31:55,900 --> 00:31:57,700 SO THANK YOU FOR WORKING ON 857 00:31:57,700 --> 00:31:58,067 THAT. 858 00:31:58,067 --> 00:32:02,067 [APPLAUSE] 859 00:32:02,067 --> 00:32:03,900 >> Al: IT'S TERRIBLY 860 00:32:03,900 --> 00:32:04,333 FRUSTRATING. 861 00:32:04,333 --> 00:32:05,633 >> AND THE IDEA THAT CHILDREN 862 00:32:05,633 --> 00:32:08,733 ARE SOMEHOW GOING TO BE MADE 863 00:32:08,733 --> 00:32:11,900 MORE QUEER BY ACCESS TO QUEER 864 00:32:11,900 --> 00:32:13,633 CULTURE. 865 00:32:13,633 --> 00:32:14,367 I WAS VERY QUEER WITHOUT ANY 866 00:32:14,367 --> 00:32:15,800 ACCESS. 867 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:16,200 [LAUGHTER] 868 00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:18,133 AND WHEN I FINALLY FOUND DRAG, 869 00:32:18,133 --> 00:32:21,367 WHICH IS WHERE, YOU KNOW, IT WAS 870 00:32:21,367 --> 00:32:22,833 NOT LIKE "THAT'S A COOL JOB, I 871 00:32:22,833 --> 00:32:24,800 WANT TO DO THAT WHEN I GROW UP," 872 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:26,767 IT WAS "THERE IS A CONTAINER FOR 873 00:32:26,767 --> 00:32:27,867 WHO I AM. 874 00:32:27,867 --> 00:32:28,633 THERE IS SOMETHING OUT THERE FOR 875 00:32:28,633 --> 00:32:28,933 ME." 876 00:32:28,933 --> 00:32:31,600 AND THAT SAVED MY LIFE. 877 00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:34,700 SUICIDE RATES AMONG QUEER KIDS 878 00:32:34,700 --> 00:32:37,067 AND SUICIDAL IDEATION MORE THAN 879 00:32:37,067 --> 00:32:39,067 HALF OF TRANS AND NONBINARY 880 00:32:39,067 --> 00:32:40,233 KIDS, WHEN I HEARD THAT 881 00:32:40,233 --> 00:32:41,067 STATISTIC, I WOULD LIKE THAT 882 00:32:41,067 --> 00:32:42,067 SEEMS LOW BECAUSE EVERY QUEER 883 00:32:42,067 --> 00:32:43,067 PERSON I KNOW HAS THOUGHT ABOUT 884 00:32:43,067 --> 00:32:45,367 SUICIDE IN THEIR YOUTH. 885 00:32:45,367 --> 00:32:48,067 AND I BARELY MADE IT OUT OF MY 886 00:32:48,067 --> 00:32:48,767 CHILDHOOD, BUT I DID BECAUSE I 887 00:32:48,767 --> 00:32:51,767 HAD A LITTLE BIT OF ACCESS TO 888 00:32:51,767 --> 00:32:55,067 THIS GLIMPSE OF A WORLD OUTSIDE 889 00:32:55,067 --> 00:32:57,667 THAT WOULD ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I 890 00:32:57,667 --> 00:32:59,067 AM AND NOT JUST IN SPITE OF WHO 891 00:32:59,067 --> 00:33:03,100 I AM, BUT BECAUSE OF WHO I AM. 892 00:33:03,100 --> 00:33:04,333 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 893 00:33:04,333 --> 00:33:13,467 >> Al: THANK YOU, THANK YOU! 894 00:33:13,467 --> 00:33:16,433 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 895 00:33:16,433 --> 00:33:19,367 CAN SUPPORT THE ACLU'S WORK BY 896 00:33:19,367 --> 00:33:21,200 DONATING THE LINK BELOW. 897 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:22,567 WE ARE GOING TO TAKE A QUICK 898 00:33:22,567 --> 00:33:24,400 BREAK BUT WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK 899 00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:27,067 AFTER THIS. 900 00:33:27,067 --> 00:33:27,667 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 901 00:33:27,667 --> 00:33:30,267 * 902 00:33:50,367 --> 00:33:51,100 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 903 00:33:51,100 --> 00:33:51,767 >> Al: THAT'S OUR SHOW FOR 904 00:33:51,767 --> 00:33:53,300 TONIGHT, AND THAT'S TIME AS YOUR 905 00:33:53,300 --> 00:33:56,400 HOST, BUT STAY TUNED NEXT WEEK, 906 00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:57,667 WHEN YOUR HOST WILL BE JOHN LEG 907 00:33:57,667 --> 00:33:59,300 WAS NORMAL! 908 00:33:59,700 --> 00:34:03,333 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 909 00:34:03,333 --> 00:34:04,467 JOHN LEGUIZAMO! 910 00:34:04,467 --> 00:34:05,133 CHECK OUT THE AL FRANKEN 911 00:34:05,133 --> 00:34:05,967 PODCAST. 912 00:34:05,967 --> 00:34:07,067 LET ME OUT, THEY DON'T WANT ME 913 00:34:07,067 --> 00:34:08,632 TO DO THIS, WE'RE SHORT ON TIME. 914 00:34:08,632 --> 00:34:11,333 I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW GREAT IT'S 915 00:34:11,333 --> 00:34:12,067 BEEN WORKING WITH THESE FOLKS 916 00:34:12,067 --> 00:34:15,500 ALL WEEK. 917 00:34:15,500 --> 00:34:16,132 THEY'VE JUST BEEN GREAT! 918 00:34:16,132 --> 00:34:19,667 [APPLAUSE] 919 00:34:19,667 --> 00:34:22,867 I'M JUST SORRY TRUMP WASN'T 920 00:34:22,867 --> 00:34:25,400 INDICTED. 921 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,900 [LAUGHTER] 922 00:34:27,900 --> 00:34:29,199 NOW HERE IT IS COMING YOUR 923 00:34:29,199 --> 00:34:32,967 MOMENT OF ZEN. 924 00:34:32,967 --> 00:34:36,367 >> THE OREO IS SUCH A DELICIOUS 925 00:34:36,367 --> 00:34:41,733 COOKIE. 926 00:34:41,733 --> 00:34:44,933 >> I LIKE MINE WITH COFFEE. 927 00:34:44,933 --> 00:34:45,433 MUSICAL PHYSICAL 928 00:34:45,433 --> 00:34:46,067 >> IT TASTE LIKE AN