*
>> FROM NEW YORK CITY, THE ONLY
CITY IN AMERICA!
IT'S THE SHOW THAT INVENTED
NEWS!
THIS IS "THE DAILY SHOW" WITH
YOUR HOST AL FRANKEN!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
*
>> Al: WELCOME!
WELCOME!
WELCOME TO THE DASH WELCOME TO
"THE DAILY SHOW," I'M AL FRANKEN
AND TONIGHT IS MY LAST NIGHT
HOSTING "THE DAILY SHOW."
AND I JUST WANT TO SAY IT'S BEEN
AN HONOR...
FOR EVERYONE HERE TO GET TO WORK
WITH ME.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR
YOU TONIGHT, SO LET'S GET INTO
THE HEADLINES.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
*
OKAY, LET'S KICK THINGS OFF WITH
A BIG STORY ON CAPITOL HILL
TODAY.
THERE WAS A MAJOR HEARING THAT
COULD DETERMINE THE FUTURE OF
TIKTOK.
OF VIGGO A RARE DISPLAY OF
BIPARTISANSHIP TODAY FOR THE
GROWING OF TIKTOK CEO ON
CAPITOL HILL.
THE EXECUTIVE OF THE
CONTROVERSIAL AND INCREDIBLY
POPULAR APP FACING SOME TOUGH
QUESTIONS ABOUT CHILD SAFETY,
DATA COLLECTION, AND ITS CHINESE
OWNERSHIP.
THE CHAIR OF THE COMMITTEE TODAY
SAYS THAT TIKTOK SHOULD BE
BANNED.
>> WE DO NOT TRUST TIKTOK WILL
EVER EMBRACE AMERICAN VALUES.
VALUES FOR FREEDOM, HUMAN
RIGHTS, AND INNOVATION.
TIKTOK HAS REPEATEDLY CHOSEN THE
PATH FOR MORE CONTROL, MORE
SURVEILLANCE, AND MORE
MANIPULATION.
YOUR PLATFORM SHOULD BE BANNED.
>> Al: THAT'S RIGHT, WE DON'T
NEED A CHINESE COMPANY STEALING
OUR DATA AND SPYING ON US.
THAT'S A JOB FOR AMERICAN
COMPANIES.
USA!
[CROWD CHANTING]
[LAUGHTER]
OF COURSE A BAN WILL AFFECT ME
PERSONALLY BECAUSE AS MANY OF
YOU KNOW I HAVE A HUGE FOLLOWING
ON TIKTOK THANKS TO MY ON BOXING
VIDEOS.
[LAUGHTER]
MY MAKEUP TUTORIALS.
AND OF COURSE MY DANCE MOVES.
I INVENTED THIS ONE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[LAUGHTER]
NOW, ASIDE FROM THE HEARING IN
THE HOUSE TODAY, IS ANOTHER
HEARING IN THE SENATE NEXT WEEK
WHICH I THINK MIGHT GO A BIT
LIKE THIS.
[LAUGHTER]
WHEN IS TIKTOK GOING TO RELEASE
AN APP MY FLIP PHONE?
THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW!
ARE FEAR IS THAT YOUR SPINE ON
AMERICANS -- YOU ARE SPYING ON
AMERICANS IN MY QUESTION IS
WHETHER YOU'VE BEEN SPYING ON
DONALD TRUMP.
AND IF SO, COULD YOU PLEASE
SHARE THAT DATA WITH THE
PROSECUTORS?
[LAUGHTER]
I WANT...
[APPLAUSE]
I WANT YOUR ASSURANCES THAT IF
TIKTOK IS BANNED, CHINA WON'T
RETALIATE BY CLOSING HUNAN
BALCONY, RE THE RESTAURANT NEAR MY
HOUSE BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE THE
SCHUMER'S EAT ON CHRISTMAS.
THEY MAKE A WONDERFUL MUSHU
PORK.
I KNOW IT'S NOT KOSHER...
BUT IT'S -- YOU KNOW, IT'S
CHRISTMAS.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
I'M WORRIED ABOUT THE USE OF
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE BECAUSE
I HAVE SEEN A DEEPFAKE VIDEO OUT
THERE SAYING THAT I TRUST
BRETT KAVANAUGH TO UPHOLD
ROE V. WADE.
CAN YOU CHANGE THAT TO ME SAYING
I DON'T TRUST HIM?
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
OKAY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
LET'S MOVE TO FLORIDA, WHICH I
KNOW IS SOMETHING -- I KNOW THAT
IS SOMETHING A LOT OF OLD JEWS
SAY, BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT.
WE ALL KNOW THAT LAST YEAR
GOVERNOR DeSANTIS PASSED THE
SO-CALLED BE 15 BILL
"DON'T SAY GAY"BILL.
[BOOS]
IT BANNED TEACHERS FROM
DISCUSSING SEXUAL ORIENTATION OR
GENDER IDENTITY WITH STUDENTS IN
KINDERGARTEN THROUGH
THIRD GRADE.
GUESS WHAT?
DeSANTIS IS NOW ANNOUNCING
THAT HE PLANS TO EXPAND THE LAW
TO COVER STUDENTS ALL THE WAY
THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL.
SO THIS "DON'T SAY GAY" LAW IS
TERRIBLE.
BUCKLEY THOUGH IT DOESN'T SAY
YOU CAN'T SAYING ABOUT BEING GAY
GAY.
* BEING GAY *
* BEING GAY
* IS AN EQUALLY VALID WAY
* TO BE A PERSON TODAY *
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
ANYWAY, GOOD LUCK IN ENGLISH
CLASS, FLORIDA TEENS.
I THINK YOU'LL REALLY ENJOY
READING CLASSES LIKE "MOBY LARGE
WHALE WITH NO SUBTEXT WHATSOEVER
WAS QUOTE.
AND FINALLY COME HERE IS SOME
FASCINATING NEWS FROM THE WORLDS
OF SCIENCE AND MUSIC.
>> AND THE ASSOCIATED PRESS IS
SCIENTIST ANALYZED DNA FROM
BEETHOVEN'S HAIR NEARLY 200
YEARS AFTER HIS DEATH.
THEY ARE LOOKING FOR CLUES ABOUT
THE CELEBRATED COMPOSER'S MANY
HEALTH PROBLEMS AND HIS HEARING
LOSS.
THEY FOUND INFORMATION ABOUT THE
LIVER DISEASE THAT IS WIDELY
LEAVED TO HAVE KILLED HIM,
ACCORDING TO A STUDY.
IT INCLUDES A GENETIC RISK FOR
LIVER DISEASE PLUS A
LIVER-DAMAGING HEPATITIS B
INFECTION IN THE LAST MONTHS OF
HIS LIFE.
>> Al: I AM SO IMPRESSED BY
THE SIGNS, BUT DID WE REALLY
NEED TO KNOW HOW BEETHOVEN DIED?
I FEEL LIKE MOST PEOPLE LIVING
IN THE 19TH CENTURY DIED FROM
LIVING IN THE 19TH CENTURY.
[LAUGHTER]
NOW, IF YOU'RE WONDERING HOW
SOMEONE WAS ABLE TO GET
BEETHOVEN'S HAIR, REMEMBER, HE
WAS DEAF.
IT'S NOT TOO HARD TO SNEAK UP ON
A DEAF PERSON PLAYING PIANO AND
SNIP OFF A SOUVENIR.
[LAUGHTER]
I'LL ADMIT I DID THE EXACT SAME
THING MULTIPLE TIMES, MAINLY TO
RAY CHARLES.
[LAUGHTER]
HEY, LOOK, WE HAVE THE GUY'S DNA
CAN BE THE ONLY ONE THINKING IT.
OF LET'S MAKE A BEETHOVEN
JURASSIC PARK.
I FOR ONE WOULD LOVE TO SEE THE
BRILLIANCE COMPOSER OF THE FIFTH
SYMPHONY EAT JEFF GOLDBLUM.
[APPLAUSE]
FOR MORE ON THIS SCIENTIFIC
BREAKTHROUGH, WE TURN TO MICHAEL
KOSTA.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
MICHAEL, THIS IS A -- THIS IS A
PRETTY AMAZING DISCOVERY, ISN'T
IT?
>> I GUESS SO.
BUT WHEN SCIENTISTS DIG SOMEONE
UP TO STUDY THEIR DNA, IT'S AN
AMAZING DISCOVERY, BUT WHEN I DO
IT IT'S A FELONY MAG [LAUGHTER]
>> Al: BUT IT IS AMAZING THAT
WE CAN LEARN HOW BEETHOVEN DIED
JUST BY ANALYZING HIS HAIR.
>> AND IF NOT JUST BEETHOVEN,
AL.
THANKS TO CUTTING-EDGE
DISCOVERIES, SCIENTISTS CAN
FINALLY LEARN HOW ALL SORTS OF
HISTORICAL FIGURES DIED.
I MEAN, FOR EXAMPLE, AFTER
ANALYZING A DNA SAMPLE FROM
JULIUS CAESAR, WE NOW KNOW THAT
HE DIED FROM BEING STABBED TO
DEATH.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Al: RIGHT, OF COURSE.
SHAKESPEARE.
>> WHO YOU MET
>> Al: WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE,
THE LEGENDARY PLAYWRIGHT.
>> ARE NOT A LITERATURE GUY, I'M
A SCIENTIST.
AND HOW ABOUT THIS LITTLE
TIDBIT,
PRESIDENT ABRAHAM LINCOLN, SHOT
IN THE HEAD.
>> Al: BY JOHN WILKES BOOTH.
>> I'M NOT A HISTORIAN, I'M A
SCIENTIST, AL!
YOU THINK THEY JUST GIVE THIS
LAB COAT TO ANYONE?
NO!
AND THAT'S WHY THROUGH EMPIRICAL
EVIDENCE I NOW KNOW HOW JFK DIED
ALSO.
>> Al: WE KNOW HE WAS SHOT IN
THE HEAD.
BECAUSE WHAT THE [BLEEP]!
DID SOMEONE WEEK THIS REPORT TO
YOU?
>> Al: NO, IT'S JUST THAT YOUR
SCIENCE ONLY SEEMS TO BE
CONFIRMING WELL-KNOWN HISTORICAL
FACTS.
AGO OKAY.
I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW
QUEEN ELIZABETH DIED.
>> Al: SHE WAS 96, SO I'M
GUESSING NATURAL CAUSES.
>> NO!
METH OVERDOSE!
TURNS OUT THE OLD GIRL COULDN'T
HANDLE A LITTLE KENSINGTON CRANK
AT HER AGE.
AND THAT'S A LESSON FOR ALL YOU
KIDS OUT THERE.
DON'T WAIT TOO LONG TO TRY METH.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Al: THAT IS A TERRIBLE
LESSON, MICHAEL!
MICHAEL KOSTA, EVERYONE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
ALL RIGHT.
WHEN WE COME BACK, I WILL TELL
YOU WHY TAXES ARE GOOD, SO DON'T
GO AWAY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Al: WELCOME BACK!
WELCOME BACK TO
"THE DAILY SHOW."
WELL, IT'S TAX SEASON, OR AS
DONALD TRUMP CALLS IT, "WOULD
YOU GET OFF MY BACK ALREADY!"
AND BIDEN ADMINISTRATION
ADMINISTRATION HAS BEEN MAKING A
BIG EFFORT TO MAKE TAX SEASON A
BIT LESS PAINFUL.
THE INFLATION REDUCTION ACT,
WHICH THE PRESIDENT SIGNED LAST
AUGUST, INCLUDES $80 BILLION IN
NEW FUNDING FOR THE IRS TO HIRE
NEW EMPLOYEES AND UPGRADE ITS
TECHNOLOGY, AND IT'S WORKING.
THE IRS IS DOING MUCH BETTER AT
PROCESSING OUR RETURNS AND
ANSWERING HER QUESTIONS ABOUT
HOW TO FILE CORRECTLY, AND
THAT'S GREAT.
BETTER ENFORCEMENT OF TAX LAWS
NEEDS MORE MONEY FOR ALL THE
MANY, MANY THINGS THE GOVERNMENT
DOES.
SOCIAL SECURITY, MEDICARE,
INFRASTRUCTURE, NOT TO MENTION
SCRAPING OFF THE FECES SMEARED
ON THE CAPITAL WHILE BY THE
PROUD BOYS.
CLEARLY THE NEW FUNDING IS LONG
OVERDUE.
IN ADDITION TO PAYING FOR
IMMENSELY POPULAR PROGRAMS, IT
WILL HELP REDUCE THE DEFICIT, SO
EVERYBODY HAS GOT TO BE HAPPY
ABOUT THIS.
EVERYBODY, RIGHT?
AM I RIGHT?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> DEMOCRATS WANT TO SPEND
$80 BILLION TO HIRE 87,000 MORE
ARMED IRS AGENTS TO TERRORIZE
AMERICANS.
>> THEY WANT TO AT 87,000 IRS
AGENTS THAT CAN USE DEADLY FORCE
TO GO AFTER AMERICAN FAMILIES
BURIED
>> THEY WANT TO TURN THE IRS
INTO THE GESTAPO.
>> THEY ARE ARMING UP THE IRS
LIKE THEY ARE PREPARING TO TAKE
FALLUJAH.
>> A LITTLE LIKE JAMES BOND BUT
INSTEAD OF HUNTING DOWN EVIL
MANIACS, THESE AGENTS HUNT DOWN
AND KILLED MIDDLE-CLASS
TAXPAYERS THAT DON'T PAY ENOUGH.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Al: WHAT ON EARTH ARE THESE
PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT?
IF YOU FORGET TO CARRY THE ONE
WHILE YOU'RE CALCULATING YOUR
RETURN, WILL THE IRS ACTUALLY
COME TO YOUR HOUSE, BREAK DOWN
THE DOOR, AND GONE DOWN YOUR
ENTIRE FAMILY?
[LAUGHTER]
IN A WORD, NO.
IN SIX WORDS, OF COURSE NOT, YOU
REPUBLICAN IDIOTS!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
SO LET'S TALK ABOUT WHAT THE IRS
MONEY IS REALLY GOING FOR.
IN ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF "LONG
STORY SHORT."
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
*
THE ADMINISTRATION IS TRYING TO
FIX A WHOLE HOST OF PROBLEMS
THAT BEGAN BACK IN 2011 AFTER
REPUBLICANS IN CONGRESS STARTED
CUTTING THE IRS'S BUDGET.
SINCE THEN, THE IRS'S AUDIT RATE
HAS DROPPED ALMOST 60% IN THE
NUMBER OF IRS AGENTS, THE SAME
NUMBER WE HAD IN 1954, WHEN THE
COUNTRY'S POPULATION WAS HALF
THE SIZE IT IS TODAY.
OF AND PEDIATRICIANS TREATED
SICK CHILDREN BY PRESCRIBING
THEM MENTHOL CIGARETTES.
AND THE COMBINATION OF
UNDERSTAFFING AND STONE AGE
TECHNOLOGY HAS RESULTED IN A
VERY WEIRD SITUATION.
>> YOU'RE MORE LIKELY TO BE
AUDITED IN UNITED STATES IF YOU
MAKE $20,000 A YEAR THAN IF YOU
MAKE $500,000 A YEAR.
>> THE LESS MONEY YOU HAVE, THE
EASIER IT IS FOR THE IRS TO COME
AFTER YOU.
THIS IS BECAUSE THE IRS DOESN'T
HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO HIRE THE
HIGHLY TRAINED INVESTIGATORS
NEEDED TO GO HEAD-TO-HEAD WITH
THE WEALTHY.
ULTIMATELY, IT'S EASIER FOR THEM
TO AUDIT LOWER INCOME PEOPLE
BECAUSE IT'S CHEAP, CAN BE DONE
BY MAIL, AND DOESN'T TAKE A LOT
OF TIME.
[BOOS]
>> Al: CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
THE IRS IS SO UNDERSTAFFED THAT
THEY AUDIT POOR PEOPLE MORE THAN
THE WEALTHY BECAUSE THEY JUST
DON'T HAVE THE EXPERTS TO HANDLE
THE MOST COMPLEX RETURNS.
THEY ARE GOING AFTER POOR PEOPLE
BECAUSE IT'S EASIER.
IT'S LIKE A COMIC ONLY DOES
"YOUR MAMA" JOKES.
SURE, IT'S EASY, BUT AT WHAT
COST TO MY MAMA?
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
HER LIFE IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH.
DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO
FIND A BELT SIZE OF THE EQUATOR?
[LAUGHTER]
SO HOW MUCH MONEY IN LOST TAXES
ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HERE?
ACCORDING TO THE FORMER HEAD OF
THE IRS, IT COULD BE AS MUCH AS
$1 TRILLION A YEAR.
TO PUT THAT IN PERSPECTIVE,
STACKED TRILLION $1 BILLS ON TOP
OF EACH OTHER, IT WOULD BLOW
AWAY.
IT WOULD BE RIDICULOUS TO EVEN
TRY THAT.
THE SOLUTION IS PRETTY SIMPLE --
[LAUGHTER]
COMPARATIVELY SPEAKING, JUST
ADEQUATELY FUND THE IRS SO IT
CAN IMPROVE ITS ENFORCEMENT
CAPABILITIES AND COLLECT THAT
EXTRA TRILLION DOLLARS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
YOU WOULD THINK REPUBLICANS
WOULD LOVE AN EXTRA TRILLION
DOLLARS IN REVENUE.
THEY ARE THE ONES WERE ALWAYS
COMPLAINING THAT AMERICA IS
SPENDING MONEY THAT WE DON'T
HAVE WORRIED
>> POLITICIANS IN WASHINGTON
CANNOT STOP ENDING MONEY THAT WE
DON'T HAVE.
>> LET'S LIVE IN REALITY.
WE HAVE A SPENDING PROBLEM.
WE HAVE A DRAMATIC SPENDING
PROBLEM.
>> IF YOU HAD A CHILD AND YOU
GIVE THEM A CREDIT CARD AND THEY
KEPT GETTING THE LIMIT, YOU
WOULDN'T JUST KEEP INCREASING
IT.
YOU WOULD FIRST SEE WHAT YOU
SPENDING YOUR MONEY ON.
SO WE ARE GOING TO LOOK AT EVERY
SINGLE DOLLAR SPENT, WE ARE
GOING TO AUDIT IT.
>> IF YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A
PARTY, YOU HAVE TO PAY THE BAND.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Al: COME ON, SENATOR, YOU
DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A BAND AT A
PARTY.
JUST HIRE YOUR NEPHEW'S ROOMMATE
TO BE A D.J.
[LAUGHTER]
JUST THINK WHAT WE COULD DO WITH
AN EXTRA TRILLION DOLLARS A
YEAR.
WE COULD BEGIN TO RETIRE OUR
NATIONAL DEBT AND BALANCE OUR
BUDGET.
OR WE COULD DO SOME NEW THINGS
THAT WOULD BE WORTHY OF A GREAT
NATION.
WE COULD HAVE UNIVERSAL PRE-K.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
OR SUBSIDIZED CHILD CARE THEY DO
EVERYWHERE ELSE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WE COULD ELIMINATE FEDERAL
INCOME TAXES COMPLETELY FOR THE
BOTTOM 90% OF AMERICAN
HOUSEHOLDS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
IN THIS -- THIS ISN'T JUST LEFTY
LIBERAL PIE-IN-THE-SKY STUFF
WITH A TRILLION DOLLARS RATE OF
WE COULD DO -- WE COULD FUND AN
ENTIRELY NEW IRAQ WAR.
[LAUGHTER]
AND WHY ARE WE THE ONLY [BLEEP]
COUNTRY THAT DOESN'T HAVE --
DEVELOPED COUNTRY THAT DOESN'T
HAVE UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
AND IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE
SINGLE-PAYER.
WE CAN HAVE A PUBLIC OPTION,
WHICH WE SHOULD HAVE [BLEEP]
DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE,
LIEBERMAN!
[APPLAUSE]
THE POINT IS, POLLING SHOWS THAT
93% OF AMERICANS BELIEVE IT'S
EVERY AMERICAN'S CIVIC DUTY TO
PAY THEIR TAXES AND I THINK YOU
CAN GUESS WHO THE OTHER 7% ARE.
[APPLAUSE]
SO LET'S GIVE THE IRS THE
RESOURCES TO MAKE SURE THAT
EVERYBODY DOES WHAT WE ALL
SHOULD DO FOR THE RIGHT OF
LIVING IN THIS GREAT COUNTRY, A
NATION THAT WE CAN MAKE EVEN
BETTER IF WE DO THE [BLEEP]
RATIONAL THING AND COLLECT THE
TAXES THAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY OWE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, STAY TUNED, BECAUSE
WHEN WE COME BACK,
BenDeLaCREME WILL BE JOINING
US, SO DON'T GO AWAY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Al: WELCOME BACK TO --
WELCOME BACK TO
"THE DAILY SHOW."
MY GUEST TONIGHT AS A WRITER,
PRODUCER AND DIRECTOR YOU KNOW
FROM "RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE."
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
IS HERE TO TALK ABOUT THE DRAG
DEFENSE FUND, WHICH BENEFITS THE
ACLU'S LGBTQ+ RIGHTS WORK.
PLEASE WELCOME
BEN DeLaCREME!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
*
WELCOME!
>> I HAD NO IDEA!
THIS IS SO LOVELY!
I DIDN'T KNOW THE AUDIENCE WAS
GOING TO GO SO CRAZY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN
AFTER LINDSEY GRAHAM.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Al: [AWKWARD LAUGH]
BEFORE WE GET INTO THESE
ANTIDRAG BILLS THAT ARE POPPING
UP AROUND THE COUNTRY, I THINK
THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE
OBJECTING TO DRAG WITHOUT EVEN
HAVING ANY IDEA WHAT IT IS.
AND I KNOW I'VE NEVER -- I'VE
NEVER GONE TO A DRAG SHOW, AND
CAN YOU EXPLAIN DRAG?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
SOMEBODY WAS JUST SHOCKED YOU'VE
NEVER BEEN TO A DRAG SHOW.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Al: I'M EMBARRASSED...
>> NO, NO, IT'S NOT SHOCKING
THAT YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO A SHOW
YOU WOULD THINK OF AS A DRAG
SHOW BUT YOU'VE SEEN
"MRS. DOUBTFIRE" OR "TOOTSIE,"
OR ANY OF THOSE.
>> Al: I DIDN'T REALIZE THEY
WERE IN DRAG.
[LAUGHTER]
>> THAT IS SOME VERY CONVINCING
COSTUMING.
DRAG IS SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN
PART OF THE CULTURE FOR A VERY
LONG TIME IN A LOT OF DIFFERENT
WAYS AND SO THERE'S MANY TYPES
OF IT THAT WE HAVE SORT OF BEEN
ACCEPTING IN CONTEMPORARY
CULTURE LIKE THOSE EXAMPLES, BUT
IT IS SOMETHING THAT HEARKENS
BACK TO -- WE SEE IT IN
SHAKESPEARE, WE SEE IT IN KABUKI
THEATER, ACROSS CULTURES.
IT IS SOMETHING THAT HAS JUST
BEEN INNATE AND UNQUESTIONED FOR
A LONG TIME, BUT WITHIN AMERICAN
HISTORY, I MEAN, DRAG IS
SOMETHING THAT HAS UPLIFTED AND
PROTECTED AND FOUGHT FOR THE
QUEER COMMUNITY PRESTONEWALL.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
PRESTONEWALL ERA, QUEER PEOPLE
HAD TO CONGREGATE IN CLUBS AND
BARS, THAT WAS THE ONE PLACE
THEY COULD SORT OF FIND
COMMUNITY AND FIND TOGETHERNESS
AND FEEL SAFE EVEN THOUGH THEY THERE
WERE CONSTANTLY POLICE RAIDS ON
MOST PLACES AND DRAG QUEENS,
TRANS WOMEN WHERE THE
ENTERTAINERS, THE MATRIARCHS,
THE PEOPLE WHO FOSTERED THIS
COMMUNITY.
AND STONEWALL, WHICH WAS THE
ALLEGED BEGINNING OF THE
GAY RIGHTS MOVEMENT, WHEN IT
ROLLED AROUND, THEY WERE THE
FOLKS WHO REALLY STARTED THE
RIOT.
>> Al: YEP, YEP.
[APPLAUSE]
ON "DRAG RACE," YOU SING, YOU
WORK THE RUNWAY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
YOU CREATE AND PERFORM YOUR OWN
VARIETY SHOW.
IT'S JUST ALL THE THINGS THAT I
DO, EXCEPT THE RUNWAY AND THE...
SINGING.
>> WELL, YOU ARE IN GOOD COMPANY
WITH DRAG QUEENS NOT BEING
ESPECIALLY GOOD SINGERS AND YOU
AND I CAN WORK ON YOUR RUNWAY.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Al: THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
AND YOU DIRECT AND YOU WRITE AND
PRODUCE A 70-MINUTE SHOW, DRAG
SHOWS, DIFFERENT ONES, RIGHT?
WHAT ARE THOSE SHOWS ABOUT?
>> YEAH, SO I DO A LOT OF
DIFFERENT STUFF THAT'S MORE IN
THE THEATRICAL REALMS.
SO SOME OF THEM ARE EVENING
LENGTH PLAYS AS YOU WOULD MORE
TRADITIONALLY KNOW.
SOME OF THEM ARE CABARETS WITH
THROUGH LINES, AND THAT'S
ANOTHER THING ABOUT DRAG.
IT IS SO MANY THINGS.
A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK OF IT AS
WHAT WE KNOW IT IS FROM REALITY
TV RIGHT NOW, WHICH IS LARGELY
LIP-SYNCHING AND BIG DANCE
MOVEMENTS, WHICH IS REALLY
EXCITING, BUT THERE'S ALSO A
WHOLE HISTORY OF THEATER AND A
LOT OF OTHER DISCIPLINES.
SO MY SHOWS ARE SHOWS THAT ARE
ESSENTIALLY A LOVE LETTER TO THE
QUEER COMMUNITY, TO FOLKS WHO
NEED TO FEEL A SENSE OF HOPE AND
A SENSE OF GENEROSITY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
SPECIFICALLY I DO A HOLIDAY SHOW
WITH MY GOOD FRIEND JINKS AND WE'VE
BEEN TOURING THAT FOR -- THIS
WILL BE OUR EXTERIOR.
IT'S NOT -- I'M NOT ANNOUNCING
IT BUT IT'S ARE 60 YEAR COMING
UP AND THAT IS VERY MUCH ROOTED
IN THE IDEA --
>> Al: IT'S A CHRISTMAS SHOW.
>> YEAH.
WE DO IT EVERY NOVEMBER AND
DECEMBER AND THAT CAME ABOUT
BECAUSE OF JUST RELEASING THE
NEED AMONG QUEER YOUNG PEOPLE
AND QUEER ADULTS TO FEEL A SENSE
OF FAMILY AND HOMECOMING AT A
TIME OF YEAR WHEN WE CAN HAVE A
LOT OF MESSAGING THAT WE DON'T
FEEL INCLUDED IN.
THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE
STRAINED RELATIONSHIPS WITH
THEIR FAMILIES, AND SO THIS SHOW
IS A MESSAGE OF -- AND YOU KNOW,
IT'S GAUDY AND IT'S FUNNY OTHER
SPEAKS BARKLEY DANCES BUT AT ITS
HEART IT'S
-- ABOUT COMING TOGETHER MAKING
PEOPLE REALIZE THAT YOUR FUTURE
CAN BE WHATEVER YOU WANT IT TO
BE, YOUR TRADITIONS CAN BE WHAT
YOU WANT THEM TO BE AND YOU CAN
BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Al: SPEAKING ABOUT BEING
WHO YOU WANT TO BE, LET'S TALK
ABOUT TENNESSEE.
IT'S THE FIRST STATE I THINK TO
EXPLICITLY BAN --
>> FIRST PLACE THAT IT PASSED,
YEAH.
>> Al: AND IN PUBLIC PLACES
WHERE MINORS ARE OR SOMETHING
LIKE THAT.
BUT NOW IT'S HAPPENING ALL OVER
THE PLACE, RIGHT?
THIS IS SOME NEW THING THEY'VE
INVENTED, I'M SURE THAT MOST OF
THE REPUBLICANS WHO ARE -- THEY
FIND STUFF EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE
TO GO AFTER.
I BET YOU MOST OF THEM DON'T
KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT.
THERE'S THINGS I DON'T -- I'VE
NEVER GONE TO NASCAR.
[LAUGHTER]
I DON'T KNOW -- I KNOW WHAT IT'S
ABOUT.
THERE'S A LOT OF STUFF I DON'T
GO TO, BUT WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?
WHAT IS THERE THING ABOUT?
>> YEAH, I MEAN, WHAT IS THIS
ABOUT IS KIND OF THE BIGGEST
QUESTION BECAUSE IT'S ALL SO
VAGUE, THESE BILLS ARE
TERRIFYING BECAUSE THE LANGUAGE
IS SO OPEN-ENDED AND THEY ARE --
AND A LOT OF -- A LOT OF THESE
PEOPLE DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND
WHAT DRAG SHOWS ARE AND THEY
DON'T HAVE TO BECAUSE THIS IS
ALL SORT OF CODED LANGUAGE OR AN
ATTACK ON THE LGBTQIA+ COMMUNITY
COMMUNITY.
AND THE WORDING OF THIS BILL
TALKS ABOUT DRAG AS ADULT
ENTERTAINMENT, WHICH IS
INSIDIOUS WITHIN ITSELF TO SAY
THAT SOMEONE DRESSING THIS WAY
IS ONLY APPROPRIATE FOR ADULTS
WHEN THEY ARE NOT DOING ANYTHING
THAT IS ADULT ORIENTED.
AND IT ALSO TALKS ABOUT THEM NOT
BEING ABLE TO DO IT WITHIN RANGE
OF WHERE A MINOR COULD SEE,
WHICH MEANS NO PRIDE PARADES, NO
OUTDOOR PRIDE EVENTS, BUT IT
ALSO MEANS THINGS LIKE WHAT IF
THE WINDOW IS VIEWABLE FROM THE
SIDEWALK IN A DRAG BAR?
IT IS ALSO SUBJECTIVE AND SO
OPEN TO INTERPRETATION THAT THEY
CAN REALLY KIND OF GO WHEREVER
THEY WANT WITH IT, NOT TO
MENTION THE FACT THAT THE BILL
DEFINES THIS AS ADULT
ENTERTAINMENT -- ADULT CABARET
AS MEN OR WOMEN DRESSING AS --
DOING MALE OR FEMALE
IMPERSONATION.
AND THAT WITHIN ITSELF IS ALSO
SOMETHING THAT -- WHO IS
INTERPRETING THIS?
BILL LEE, WHO GETS TO DECIDE
WHETHER HE INTO CHEERLEADER
SKIRT COUNTS?
>> Al: BILL LEE?
>> HE'S THE ONE -- THE
GOVERNOR -- WHO THE PHOTO
SURFACED -- HE'S THE ONE WHO
PASSING ALL THESE LAWS.
IN THE PHOTO SURFACED OF HIM IN
HIGH SCHOOL DRESSED AS A
CHEERLEADER AT SOME SORT OF
HIGH SCHOOL EVENT AND EVERYONE
STARTED POINTING THIS OUT AND
SAYING THIS IS PRETTY
HYPOCRITICAL AND HE SAID NO, NO,
NO, THAT DOESN'T COUNT.
THAT IS NOT OF A LEWD NATURE.
AND SO HE HAS DECIDED THAT HE IS
A PERSON WHO GETS TO DECIDE
THESE THINGS.
>> Al: CHEERLEADER OUTFITS
HAVE NEVER BEEN CONSIDERED
SEXUAL AT ALL...
[LAUGHTER]
>> BY THAT DEFINITION, EVEN THE
MOST OF US IN 2023 UNDERSTAND
THAT TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN AND
TRANS MEN ARE MEN --
[APPLAUSE]
THIS BILL CAN BE INTERPRETED ANY
NUMBER OF WAYS AND IF SOMEONE
ISN'T FORCING THIS WHO DOESN'T
BELIEVE THAT, WHO IS TO SAY THAT
THAT TRANS PERSON WALKING DOWN
THE STREET IN PUBLIC, IF I VIEW
THEM AS A MALE OR FEMALE
IMPERSONATOR AND THEY ARE WITHIN
THE EYESIGHT OF A CHILD, AND
THEY ARE BREAKING THE LAW BY
WALKING TO THE GROCERY STORE.
IT'S TERRIFYING.
>> Al: WHEN I WAS -- WE TALKED
ABOUT THIS A LITTLE BIT.
WHEN I WAS IN THE SENATE WE WERE
REFORMING NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND,
WHICH DIDN'T WORK VERY WELL AND
I HAD A PIECE IN IT CALLED --
THAT WOULD PROTECT LGBT KIDS,
GIVE THEM THE SAME RIGHTS AS
WERE GIVEN TO OTHER KIDS, YOU
KNOW, BY RACE AND GENDER.
AND I WENT TO A COLLEAGUE, A
REPUBLICAN COLLEAGUE WHO WAS A
FRIEND OF MIND AND ASKED HIM TO
SPONSOR THIS AND WHAT YOU COULD
DO IS IF A KID WAS BEING BULLIED
FOR BEING LGBTQ THEY COULD GO TO
THE PRINCIPAL OR THE
SUPERINTENDENT OF THE SCHOOLS
AND IF THEY DIDN'T GET ANY --
THEY COULD SUE.
THEY COULD SUE JUST LIKE THE
OTHER KIDS I WAS TALKING ABOUT.
[APPLAUSE]
AND THE SENATOR SAID TO ME "IF
THEY CAN DO THAT -- THEY WILL
JUST ACT MORE GAY."
[BOOS]
>> WELL, FIRST OF ALL...
[LAUGHTER]
>> Al: AND I SAID NO, NO.
I DON'T WANT TO SAY HIS NAME.
I SAID NO AND HE GOES "OH, YOU
WATCH."
I HOPE HE'S WATCHING RIGHT NOW
AND KNOWS THAT I AM ACTING THIS
GAY NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Al: KIDS IN SCHOOL, LGBT
KIDS IN SCHOOL, GREAT ABSENTEE,
THERE'S ALL KINDS OF BULLYING
OBVIOUSLY, AND THIS IS -- THIS
WOULD REALLY HAVE HELPED KIDS.
>> IT ABSOLUTELY WOULD HAVE.
FROM MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, I
GREW UP IN A SMALL TOWN IN
CONNECTICUT, I WAS VERY, VERY
FLAMBOYANT AND MYSELF FROM A
VERY YOUNG AGE AND I WAS
IDENTIFIED BY OTHER PEOPLE AS
QUEER BEFORE I EVEN UNDERSTOOD
HOW TO DO THAT MYSELF, AND I WAS
MERCILESSLY BULLIED IN SCHOOL
AND I WENT TO MY VICE PRINCIPAL,
WHO TOLD ME THAT I SHOULD
PROBABLY TONE IT DOWN A LITTLE.
SO THANK YOU FOR WORKING ON
THAT.
[APPLAUSE]
>> Al: IT'S TERRIBLY
FRUSTRATING.
>> AND THE IDEA THAT CHILDREN
ARE SOMEHOW GOING TO BE MADE
MORE QUEER BY ACCESS TO QUEER
CULTURE.
I WAS VERY QUEER WITHOUT ANY
ACCESS.
[LAUGHTER]
AND WHEN I FINALLY FOUND DRAG,
WHICH IS WHERE, YOU KNOW, IT WAS
NOT LIKE "THAT'S A COOL JOB, I
WANT TO DO THAT WHEN I GROW UP,"
IT WAS "THERE IS A CONTAINER FOR
WHO I AM.
THERE IS SOMETHING OUT THERE FOR
ME."
AND THAT SAVED MY LIFE.
SUICIDE RATES AMONG QUEER KIDS
AND SUICIDAL IDEATION MORE THAN
HALF OF TRANS AND NONBINARY
KIDS, WHEN I HEARD THAT
STATISTIC, I WOULD LIKE THAT
SEEMS LOW BECAUSE EVERY QUEER
PERSON I KNOW HAS THOUGHT ABOUT
SUICIDE IN THEIR YOUTH.
AND I BARELY MADE IT OUT OF MY
CHILDHOOD, BUT I DID BECAUSE I
HAD A LITTLE BIT OF ACCESS TO
THIS GLIMPSE OF A WORLD OUTSIDE
THAT WOULD ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I
AM AND NOT JUST IN SPITE OF WHO
I AM, BUT BECAUSE OF WHO I AM.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Al: THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
CAN SUPPORT THE ACLU'S WORK BY
DONATING THE LINK BELOW.
WE ARE GOING TO TAKE A QUICK
BREAK BUT WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK
AFTER THIS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
*
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Al: THAT'S OUR SHOW FOR
TONIGHT, AND THAT'S TIME AS YOUR
HOST, BUT STAY TUNED NEXT WEEK,
WHEN YOUR HOST WILL BE JOHN LEG
WAS NORMAL!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
JOHN LEGUIZAMO!
CHECK OUT THE AL FRANKEN
PODCAST.
LET ME OUT, THEY DON'T WANT ME
TO DO THIS, WE'RE SHORT ON TIME.
I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW GREAT IT'S
BEEN WORKING WITH THESE FOLKS
ALL WEEK.
THEY'VE JUST BEEN GREAT!
[APPLAUSE]
I'M JUST SORRY TRUMP WASN'T
INDICTED.
[LAUGHTER]
NOW HERE IT IS COMING YOUR
MOMENT OF ZEN.
>> THE OREO IS SUCH A DELICIOUS
COOKIE.
>> I LIKE MINE WITH COFFEE.
MUSICAL PHYSICAL
>> IT TASTE LIKE AN