1 00:00:00,567 --> 00:00:04,037 ♪ ♪ Announcer: FROM NEW YORK CITY, THE ONLY CITY IN AMERICA, IT'S THE SHOW THAT 2 00:00:04,037 --> 00:00:18,451 INVENTED NEWS. THIS IS "THE DAILY SHOW" WITH YOUR HOST, ROY WOOD JR.! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 3 00:00:18,451 --> 00:00:34,801 ♪ ♪ Roy: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW!" I AM ROY WOOD JR. 4 00:00:34,801 --> 00:00:42,008 YES, I AM. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THANK YOU, THANK YOU. NOW THIS IS -- 5 00:00:42,008 --> 00:00:59,426 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THANK YOU. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] NOW WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW." 6 00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:04,664 THIS IS MY LAST NIGHT AS GUEST HOST. NO, NO, DON'T CRY, BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL INVITED TO THE AFTER 7 00:01:04,664 --> 00:01:17,143 PARTY! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THERE AIN'T NO AFTER PARTY. WE ARE ON A BASIC CABLE BUDGET. 8 00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:20,780 WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE COMING TO SEE? WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. 9 00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:29,456 SO LET'S GET INTO HEADLINES! ♪ ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THERE IS SO MUCH GOING ON RIGHT 10 00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:33,927 NOW. SO MUCH GOING ON THIS WEEK. CHICAGO HAS A NEW MAYOR. RFK JR. IS RUNNING FOR 11 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:43,369 PRESIDENT. AND THE TAMPA BAY RAYS ARE UNDEFEATED! THE TAMPA BAY RAYS! 12 00:01:43,369 --> 00:01:48,341 GOOD FOR THEM. YOU KNOW, THEY PAY THEIR PLAYERS AND BURGER KING, DID YOU KNOW THAT? 13 00:01:48,341 --> 00:01:54,681 IF THERE IS ONE THING I LOVE MORE THAN BASEBALL, IT IS FOOD, AND IF THERE IS ONE THING I LOVE MORE THAN FOOD, IT IS FOOD 14 00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:58,284 LAWSUITS. THIS MORNING, IT IS A BATTLE OF THE BOWLS. CHIPOTLE MEXICAN GRILL FILING A 15 00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:03,356 LAWSUIT IN CALIFORNIA AGAINST SALAD CHAIN SWEETGREEN, ALLEGING SWEETGREEN'S NEW CHIPOTLE CHICKEN BURRITO BOWL VIOLATES 16 00:02:03,356 --> 00:02:09,696 CHIPOTLE'S TRADEMARK RIGHTS. CHIPOTLE CLAIMING SWEETGREEN'S VERY SIMILAR AND DIRECTLY COMPETITIVE BOWL IS AN ATTEMPT 17 00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:16,703 TO CAPITALIZE ON THEIR BRAND, ARGUING THE COMPETITOR'S AD USES THE SAME FONT AND STYLE AS CHIPOTLE'S BRANDING AND FEATURES 18 00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:27,914 A SIMILAR COLOR TO THEIR TRADEMARKED ADOBO RED. CHIPOTLE SAYS SWEETGREEN SHOULD CHANGE THE NAME OF ITS 19 00:02:27,914 --> 00:02:36,356 NEW BOWL BY, ONE, PUTTING THE WORD CHIPOTLE IN LOWER CASE AND RENAMING IT AS A "CHICKEN BOWL WITH CHIPOTLE." 20 00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:46,299 Roy: THAT'S RIGHT, THE TWO WHITEST RESTAURANTS IN AMERICA ARE FIGHTING OVER WHO GETS TO USE A MEXICAN WORD. 21 00:02:46,299 --> 00:02:51,738 AND HONESTLY, WHAT THE HELL IS CHIPOTLE MAD ABOUT? YOU NAMED YOURSELF AFTER A 22 00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:58,811 SEASONING. THAT'S ON YOU. HONESTLY, BOTH OF THESE COMPANIES NEED TO GET SUED JUST 23 00:02:58,811 --> 00:03:06,719 FOR USING THE WORD "BURRITO BOWL." IF IT AIN'T WRAPPED UP, IT AIN'T A BURRITO! 24 00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:14,394 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] STOP, STOP IT! IT'S JUST SHIT IN A BOWL. YOU PUT SHIT IN A BOWL AND YOU 25 00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:23,803 GO, THIS IS OUR BURRITO BOWL. BITCH, THAT'S DRY CHILI! "WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY OUR ALL NEW PB&J SANDWICH BOWL?" 26 00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:31,210 SORRY, DID I SAY I WANTED THAT? I COULD HAVE SWORE I WANTED A SANDWICH. MOVING ONTO A BIG STORY TODAY. 27 00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:37,817 ONE OF AMERICA'S SUPREME COURT JUSTICES IS IN A MAJOR CORRUPTION SCANDAL. AND YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHO. 28 00:03:37,817 --> 00:03:44,257 OKAY, IT'S CLARENCE THOMAS. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] BUT YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT. A SIMPLY BLOCKBUSTER 29 00:03:44,257 --> 00:03:48,828 BOMBSHELL REPORT. GET THIS: SUPREME COURT JUSTICE CLARENCE THOMAS DID NOT DISCLOSE LUXURY TRIPS AROUND THE WORLD 30 00:03:48,828 --> 00:03:54,233 WORTH HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS. PROPUBLICA SAYS JUSTICE THOMAS HAS FOR YEARS 31 00:03:54,233 --> 00:04:01,341 ACCEPTED FREE CHARTER JET FLIGHTS AND STAYS ON A YACHT AND LUXURY RESORTS FROM REAL ESTATE DEVELOPER HARLAN CROW. 32 00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:07,914 CROW IS A CONSERVATIVE MEGA DONOR. CROW TELLS PROPUBLICA, HE'S NEVER TRIED TO INFLUENCE THE 33 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:19,659 JUSTICE ON LEGAL OR POLITICAL ISSUES. Roy: YEAH, YEAH, SURE. NO, NO, I AM SURE THIS 34 00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:27,734 BILLIONAIRE REPUBLICAN DIDN'T WANT TO INFLUENCE NOBODY. NO, NO, HE JUST WANTED TO GO ON VACATION WITH CLARENCE THOMAS, 35 00:04:27,734 --> 00:04:33,606 BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THAT CLARENCE THOMAS IS CLEARLY A BAG OF FUN. JUST BE STRAIGHT UP! 36 00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:47,787 WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO PULL UP ON MIAMI BEACH WITH OLD CT? "COME ON, CLARENCE, WE DOING TEQUILA SHOTS!" 37 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:51,357 "OH, CLARENCE LOVES TEQUILA SHOTS." I DON'T KNOW WHY I MADE HIM SOUND LIKE SLING BLADE. 38 00:04:51,357 --> 00:04:56,996 HERE IS MY QUESTION. IF YOU AREN'T STRENGTHENED BY LACK A SUPREME COURT JUSTICE, WHY ARE YOU SPENDING ALL THIS 39 00:04:56,996 --> 00:05:06,272 MONEY ON LUXURY YACHTS AND PLANES FOR CLARENCE THOMAS? YOU COULD HAVE BOUGHT BRETT KAVANAUGH FOR A BOTTLE OF 40 00:05:06,272 --> 00:05:15,481 JAGER AND A SOUTHWEST BUS PASS. THIS IS A DEAL! LET'S MOVE ON TO SPORTS NOW. EARLIER THIS WEEK, WE TOLD YOU 41 00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:22,488 HOW LSU BEAT IOWA IN THE WOMEN'S NCAA BASKETBALL CHAMPIONSHIP AND THERE WAS SOME EPIC TRASH TALK THIS WEEK BETWEEN ANGEL REESE 42 00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:31,297 AND CAITLIN CLARK, AND TEMPERS HAVE BEEN BUBBLING ALL WEEK. BUT FINALLY, FINALLY, A PEACEMAKER HAS EMERGED. 43 00:05:31,297 --> 00:05:37,203 DID FIRST LADY JILL BIDEN GET SO EXCITED ABOUT THE WOMEN'S BASKETBALL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME, SHE PUT HER FOOT IN HER MOUTH? 44 00:05:37,203 --> 00:05:43,876 AS SHE CELEBRATED LSU'S VICTORY OVER IOWA, DR. JILL SUGGESTED BOTH TEAMS COME TO THE WHITE HOUSE. 45 00:05:43,876 --> 00:05:49,782 I KNOW WE BOTH HAVE THE CHAMPIONS COME TO THE WHITE HOUSE, WE ALWAYS DO, SO WE WILL HAVE LSU COME, BUT 46 00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:59,492 YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M GOING TO TELL JOE, I THINK IOWA SHOULD COME TOO, BECAUSE THEY PLAYED SUCH A GOOD GAME. 47 00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:08,835 Roy: YES, YES. NO, YOU ARE WRONG! SHE'S TALKING ABOUT PEACE AND UNITY! 48 00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:18,644 WHY SHOULDN'T THE LOSERS BE STANDING PROUD WITH THE WINNERS? COME ON, JILL, YOU ARE TRYING TO TURN THE WHITE HOUSE INTO A 49 00:06:18,644 --> 00:06:25,218 PARTICIPATION TROPHY. NOBODY LIKES PARTICIPATION TROPHIES! EVEN THE KIDS DON'T LIKE 50 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:29,922 PARTICIPATION TROPHY IS! NOBODY! NOBODY HAS EVER CAME HOME AFTER SCHOOL, AFTER THE BIG GAME WITH 51 00:06:29,922 --> 00:06:38,364 THEIR TROPHY LIKE, "YO, CHECK IT OUT, I STRUCK OUT 12 TIMES!" FOR MORE ON THIS STORY, WE TURN TO DESI LYDIC. 52 00:06:38,364 --> 00:06:47,440 DESI! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] HOW ARE YOU DOING, DESI? GOOD TO SEE YOU. 53 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:52,345 NOW DESI COME AWAY FROM TALKING ABOUT THE STORY AROUND THE BUILDING ALL WEEK AND I KNOW YOU WILL AGREE ME, THE WHOLE THING 54 00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:59,018 ON THIS ISSUE COMES DOWN TO ONE WORD, AND THAT WORD IS... RACISM. Roy: SEXISM. 55 00:06:59,018 --> 00:07:09,262 I'M SORRY, YOU THINK IT'S RACISM? ROY, I KNOW RACISM WHEN I SEE IT, AND THIS IS TEXTBOOK RACISM. 56 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:14,400 A MOSTLY WHITE TEAM GETTING AN INVITE TO THE WHITE HOUSE FOR LOSING IS WHITE PRIVILEGE AT ITS MOST 57 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:26,646 INSIDIOUS. [APPLAUSE] IF I MAY QUOTE MALCOM X... Roy: NO, NO, NO. 58 00:07:26,646 --> 00:07:34,086 YOU MAY NOT QUOTE MALCOLM X. GOT IT, GOT IT. Roy: I HEAR WHAT YOU ARE SAYING, DESI, BUT THIS CLEARLY 59 00:07:34,086 --> 00:07:37,590 SEXISM. THIS OFFER, THIS WOULD'VE NEVER HAPPENED IN MEN'S EXPORTS. BUT WOMEN ARE EXPECTED TO GET 60 00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:44,797 ALONG AND SHARE THE PRIZE SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY'RE WOMEN. IF I COULD QUOTE THE GREAT GLORIOUS DYNAMO... 61 00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:54,040 GLORIA STEINEM... NOPE, NOPE. LOOK, ROY, IT IS RACIST TO HONOR WHITE LOSERS THE SAME AS 62 00:07:54,040 --> 00:08:00,713 BLACK WINNERS. TRUST ME. I HAVE A UNIQUE PERSPECTIVE ON RACE, AS A PERSON TALKING TO A 63 00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:12,258 BLACK MAN RIGHT NOW. Roy: DESI, LET ME EXPLAIN TO YOU HOW INTERNALIZED SEXISM WORKS. 64 00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:19,398 LET ME EXPLAIN SEXISM. NO, NO. Roy: DOCTOR JILL BIDEN TREATED THESE ADULT WOMEN LIKE A 65 00:08:19,398 --> 00:08:26,072 BUNCH OF HIGH SCHOOLERS WHO ALL HAD TO BE INVITED TO THE SLUMBER PARTY NO MATTER WHAT. THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU DO. 66 00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:32,211 AND I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, BECAUSE I WATCHED "THE HANDMAID'S TALE" FOR A COUPLE SEASONS. 67 00:08:32,211 --> 00:08:36,515 THAT'S THE NAME. IS IT "HANDMAIDEN'S" OR "HANDMAID TALE?" I DON'T KNOW. 68 00:08:36,515 --> 00:08:43,556 I ONLY WATCH "ATLANTA." [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] LOOK! WHETHER IT'S RACISM OR SEXISM -- 69 00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:51,898 AND IT'S RACISM -- I THINK WE CAN BOTH AGREE ON TWO THINGS. ONE, I KNOW ALL THE LYRICS TO "GANGSTA'S PARADISE." 70 00:08:51,898 --> 00:09:04,110 AND TWO, THIS WAS NOT JILL BIDEN'S FINEST MOMENT. Roy: YES, DR. JILL BIDEN MADE A MISTAKE. 71 00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:10,449 MAYBE NEXT YEAR, THE WHITE HOUSE SHOULD HAVE VICE PRESIDENT KAMALA HARRIS EXTEND THE INVITE. YOU KNOW? 72 00:09:10,449 --> 00:09:21,160 ANOTHER STRONG WOMAN. A STRONG BLACK WOMAN. Roy: WHO MADE U.S. HER-STORY. NOT TO MENTION, 73 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:29,402 SHE KNOWS HOW TO KICK IT AT THAT COOKOUT, KNOW WHAT I MEAN? Roy: THAT'S RIGHT, GIRL BOSS. 74 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:38,110 YEAH! [APPLAUSE] Roy: DESI LYDIC, EVERYBODY. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 75 00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:40,613 ALL RIGHT, WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL TALK ABOUT WHY COLLEGE HAS GOT TO GO. 76 00:09:47,987 --> 00:10:11,110 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Roy: YEAH, YES, YEAH, WELCOME BACK TO 77 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:15,981 "THE DAILY SHOW." NOW, DO YOU REMEMBER BACK IN THE DAY, YOU'D BE FLIPPING THE CHANNELS AND YOU'D SEE AN AD FOR 78 00:10:15,981 --> 00:10:22,554 ONE OF THOSE FOR-PROFIT COLLEGES? BE SOME DUDE IN A T-SHIRT IN A PARKING LOT, TELLING YOU TO GET 79 00:10:22,554 --> 00:10:26,725 YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. FIRST OFF, HOW YOU GONNA TELL ME TO GET IT TOGETHER? YOUR SHIRT DOESN'T HAVE A 80 00:10:26,725 --> 00:10:32,631 COLLAR. OR WORSE, THEY LEVEL UP AFTER A LITTLE WHILE, AND GET 81 00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:37,035 MASTER-P'S SON RAPPING TO INSPIRE YOU TO GET AN EDUCATION. ♪ I SAY ICDC ♪ ♪ CALL UP ICDC COLLEGE ♪ 82 00:10:37,035 --> 00:10:44,643 ♪ I SAY ICDC ♪ ♪ I'M SO ICDC COLLEGE ♪ Roy: DO YOU LIKE READING AND SHIT? 83 00:10:44,643 --> 00:10:53,185 I THINK THAT IS THE FIRST TIME A DUDE LOST A RAP BATTLE TO HIMSELF. BUT THE THING IS, PEOPLE WHO 84 00:10:53,185 --> 00:11:00,225 GRADUATED FROM THESE FOR-PROFIT SCHOOLS ARE OFTEN DROWNING IN DEBT OR END UP WITH A DEGREE THAT NOBODY RESPECTS. 85 00:11:00,225 --> 00:11:06,165 THE FACT IS, IF YOU WANT TO DEGREE SOMEONE RESPECTS, OH, YOU GOT TO GET YOU ONE OF THESE, BABY. 86 00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:14,473 THIS IS MY ACTUAL COLLEGE DEGREE, BROADCAST JOURNALISM, BITCHES, FOR MY FOUR YOUR INSTITUTION. 87 00:11:14,473 --> 00:11:16,942 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] FLORIDA A&M, FOUR YOUR INSTITUTION. NONE OF THAT PARKING LOT 88 00:11:16,942 --> 00:11:24,349 BULLSHIT. COST ME ABOUT $60,000. SHOULDA BEEN $45,000, BUT I FLUNKED A YEAR BECAUSE I SKIPPED 89 00:11:24,349 --> 00:11:28,787 SCHOOL DURING MIDTERMS TO OPEN FOR TOMMY DAVIDSON. TRUE STORY. AND YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE ABOUT 90 00:11:28,787 --> 00:11:38,063 COLLEGE DEGREES? YOU EVER NOTICE, WHEN YOU GET A COLLEGE DEGREE, YOUR PARENTS ALWAYS WANTED TO 91 00:11:38,063 --> 00:11:44,236 TAKE A PICTURE WITH IT. THEY BEACH EASING. LOOK AT MY MAMA. MY MAMA SMILING HARDER THAN ME. 92 00:11:44,236 --> 00:11:49,308 SHE'S WORKED IN HIGHER EDUCATION FOR ALMOST FOUR DECADES SO YOU KNOW SHE IS HAPPY ABOUT THE DEGREE. 93 00:11:49,308 --> 00:11:55,881 I'M SMILING TOO -- TO BE FAIR, I'M SMILING, BUT THE ONLY REASON I'M SMILING IS BECAUSE I HAVEN'T SEEN THE INVOICE YET. 94 00:11:55,881 --> 00:12:02,821 BUT NOW, THE ONCE EXALTED FOUR-YEAR DEGREE IS STARTING TO FEEL A LOT LIKE THE PARKING LOT EDUCATION. 95 00:12:02,821 --> 00:12:06,758 IT IS NO WONDER PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO DOUBT THE WHOLE THING. MORE AND MORE AMERICANS ARE 96 00:12:06,758 --> 00:12:09,828 ASKING THEMSELVES, IS A COLLEGE DEGREE STILL WORTH IT? FOR HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR RAINES LUCAS, HIS BIGGEST 97 00:12:09,828 --> 00:12:17,236 CHALLENGE ISN'T GETTING INTO HIS DREAM SCHOOLS, IT'S PAYING FOR THEM. IT'S JUST NOT SENSIBLE TO GO 98 00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:21,540 SOMEWHERE AND TAKE ON HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS DOLLARS IN DEBT. MANY TOP EXECUTIVES ARE 99 00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:27,179 QUESTIONING THE PURPOSE OF A COLLEGE DEGREE, INCLUDING ELON MUSK. THERE'S NO NEED EVEN TO HAVE 100 00:12:27,179 --> 00:12:38,023 A COLLEGE DEGREE, AT ALL. Roy: LISTEN, YOU KNOW IT'S BAD WHEN THE DUDE WHO WHO BOUGHT TWITTER SAYS 101 00:12:38,023 --> 00:12:52,237 COLLEGE IS A BAD INVESTMENT. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] JUST TAKE A SECOND. THAT WAS A GOOD JOKE. 102 00:12:52,237 --> 00:12:56,708 [LAUGHS] NOW WE TALKED ABOUT ABOLISHING THE POLICE AND ABOLISHING PRISONS, BUT I THINK IT'S TIME 103 00:12:56,708 --> 00:13:01,680 TO ASK AN HONEST QUESTION. IS IT TIME TO ABOLISH COLLEGE? WE'LL TRY TO ANSWER IT IN ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF 104 00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:11,390 "LONG STORY SHORT." ♪ ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] YES. 105 00:13:11,390 --> 00:13:16,295 THERE ARE A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH COLLEGE. WE CAN JUST SAY THAT OFF THE TOP. 106 00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:20,966 THERE'S A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH COLLEGE. YOU GOT ANNOYING ROOMMATES, YOU'VE GOT UNFAIR PROFESSORS. 107 00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:25,370 SOMETIMES, AFTER A NIGHT OF UNDERAGE DRINKING, A BUNCH OF JAMAICAN NIGHT CLUB OWNERS DECIDE TO PULL A GUN ON YOU 108 00:13:25,370 --> 00:13:31,677 AFTER A SMALL DISAGREEMENT OVER A COVER CHARGE TO GET IN THEIR ESTABLISHMENT. ALSO A TRUE STORY. 109 00:13:31,677 --> 00:13:40,118 BUT ONE OF THE MAIN PROBLEMS IN RECENT YEARS IS THAT COLLEGE HAS GOTTEN WAY TOO EXPENSIVE. FROM THE TIME PRINCE HAD HIS 110 00:13:40,118 --> 00:13:48,827 ASS CHEEKS OUT UNTIL WHEN MEGAN THEE STALLION HAD HER ASS CHEEKS OUT -- ABOUT 40 YEARS -- THE AVERAGE COST OF COLLEGE HAS 111 00:13:48,827 --> 00:13:59,171 RISEN NEARLY 500%. IT'S GOTTEN SO EXPENSIVE, THAT AMERICAN KIDS NEED TO FLEE THE COUNTRY JUST TO GET AN 112 00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:03,609 EDUCATION. WITH TUITION PRICES SOARING AT HOME, AMERICAN STUDENTS ARE FLOCKING TO EUROPE FOR CHEAPER 113 00:14:03,609 --> 00:14:07,446 COLLEGE OPTIONS. THERE ARE AT LEAST 44 SCHOOLS ACROSS EUROPE WHERE AMERICANS CAN EARN THEIR BACHELORS DEGREE 114 00:14:07,446 --> 00:14:12,484 FOR FREE. ALL PUBLIC COLLEGES IN GERMANY, ICELAND, NORWAY, AND FINLAND ARE FREE FOR RESIDENTS AND 115 00:14:12,484 --> 00:14:24,062 INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS. Roy: HOW CRAZY IS IT THAT STUDYING ABROAD USED TO BE FOR RICH KIDS? 116 00:14:24,062 --> 00:14:27,899 THAT WAS HER PRETENTIOUS RICH PEOPLE. NOW IF YOU A BALLER, YOU NEED TO GO TO SCHOOL IN AMERICA. 117 00:14:27,899 --> 00:14:39,711 "OH, YOU STUDIED IN BERLIN? YOU BROKE BITCH. I WENT TO THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY. 118 00:14:39,711 --> 00:14:48,820 FETCH ME CAVIAR!" NOW IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT THESE DEGREES ARE SO EXPENSIVE, BUT WHAT MAKES IT WORSE IS 119 00:14:48,820 --> 00:14:54,660 THEY'RE NOT NECESSARILY PREPARING YOU TO EARN THE MONEY BACK. JUST 1 OUT OF 10 BUSINESS 120 00:14:54,660 --> 00:15:01,266 LEADERS BELIEVE COLLEGE GRADUATES HAVE THE SKILLS NEEDED TO WORK IN THEIR WORKPLACES. 121 00:15:01,266 --> 00:15:04,836 AND EMPLOYERS AREN'T THE ONLY ONES QUESTIONING WHAT COLLEGES ARE TEACHING. SO ARE THE GRADUATES THEMSELVES. 122 00:15:04,836 --> 00:15:10,342 EVER WISH YOU PICKED A DIFFERENT MAJOR BACK IN COLLEGE? TURNS OUT, NEARLY EVERY TWO OF EVERY FIVE AMERICAN COLLEGE 123 00:15:10,342 --> 00:15:16,314 GRADS REGRET THE CHOICE THEY MADE. LIBERAL ARTS MAJORS ARE THE MOST LIKELY TO HARBOR THAT DEEP 124 00:15:16,314 --> 00:15:22,854 REGRET. NEARLY HALF OF THEM SAY THEY WISHED THEY PICKED ANOTHER FIELD OF STUDY. 125 00:15:22,854 --> 00:15:34,232 THE MOST REGRETTED MAJOR? JOURNALISM. [APPLAUSE] Roy: NO, NO. 126 00:15:34,232 --> 00:15:41,907 NO. DON'T ZOOM IN ON MY PAIN! GO BACK UP TO MY FACE! NO REGRETS ABOUT GOING TO THE 127 00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:48,647 SCHOOL AND PAYING MONEY TO LEARN JOURNALISM JUST TO GET ON TV TO PLAY A FAKE JOURNALIST! I HAVE NO REGRETS! 128 00:15:48,647 --> 00:15:53,652 I DID REAL WORK! I DID REAL JOURNALISM! SHOW ME THE WORK! Roy: HOSPITAL SPOKESPERSON 129 00:15:53,652 --> 00:15:57,989 BROOKE WILSON DECLINED TO SPEAK WITH FAMU 46 ON CAMERA ABOUT THE EVENTS THAT LED UP TO THE HOSPITAL'S IMPROMPTU INSPECTION 130 00:15:57,989 --> 00:16:04,930 FROM ACA. Roy: YOU TELLING ME THAT WASN'T REAL JOURNALISM? [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 131 00:16:04,930 --> 00:16:21,012 THAT WAS HARD-HITTING JOURNALISM IN MY DADDY'S SUIT! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I HAD TO DIG IN THE CLOSET FOR 132 00:16:21,012 --> 00:16:25,283 THE VHS TO FIND THAT. THE POINT IS, MANY COLLEGE DEGREES AREN'T EVEN SETTING YOU UP FOR A CAREER. 133 00:16:25,283 --> 00:16:33,525 NOW, BACK IN THE DAY, IT DIDN'T MATTER THAT MUCH, BECAUSE JUST HAVING A DEGREE MADE YOU SPECIAL. 134 00:16:33,525 --> 00:16:38,797 IN 1960, AROUND 8% OF THE POPULATION HAD A BACHELOR'S DEGREE. BUT TODAY, THAT NUMBER IS AROUND 135 00:16:38,797 --> 00:16:45,170 40%. HAVING A COLLEGE DEGREE NOW IS LIKE HAVING A KEYLESS ENTRY TO YOUR CAR. 136 00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:53,011 EVERYONE HAS IT. BUT IN 1987, YOU WAS THE MAN. YOU HAD A KEYLESS ENTRY AND EVERYONE WAS LIKE -- 137 00:16:53,011 --> 00:17:02,921 "BLOOP BLOOP!" "WHAT DID YOU JUST DID?" UNLOCK THE DOOR." "DO IT AGAIN!" 138 00:17:02,921 --> 00:17:08,260 "YOU ARE THE DEVIL, THAT IS MAGIC!" SO HERE'S WHERE WE ARE. WE GOT PEOPLE SPENDING MORE 139 00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:14,633 MONEY THAN EVER TO GET A DEGREE THAT MEANS LESS THAN EVER. WHICH HAS LEFT PEOPLE ARE LOOKING FOR ALTERNATIVES. 140 00:17:14,633 --> 00:17:17,702 SOME PEOPLE ARE TAKING APPRENTICESHIPS. SOME PEOPLE ARE TAKING CLASSES ONLINE. 141 00:17:17,702 --> 00:17:24,543 IN SOME EMPLOYERS ARE SAYING, HELL, WE WILL JUST RENEW OURSELVES. IN FACT, GOOGLE HAS A $50 MUCH 142 00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:32,918 EDUCATION SERVICE THAT THEY HAVE USED THE PLACE OVER 75,000 PEOPLE INTO JOBS THAT OVER 150 DIFFERENT COMPANIES. 143 00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:41,259 JOBS THAT GOOGLE WILL SOON REPLACE WITH AI, BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT. SO, LONG STORY SHORT: COLLEGE IS 144 00:17:41,259 --> 00:17:50,101 TOO EXPENSIVE, IT DOESN'T HELP YOU GET THE JOB, YOU CAN LEARN THE SAME STUFF ON THE COMPUTER OR A NICE LANDOR 145 00:17:50,101 --> 00:17:57,242 BERLIN, THE EMPLOYERS WILL TRAIN YOU FOR FREE, THIS IS A BIGGER SCAM THAN BITCOIN, WE SHOULD ABOLISH COLLEGE! 146 00:17:57,242 --> 00:18:05,016 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] WE GOT TO ABOLISH COLLEGE FROM A MAN! PHONE RINGING] 147 00:18:05,016 --> 00:18:16,895 HEY, MAMA... YES, MA'AM, I KNOW YOU BEEN IN HIGHER EDUCATION FOR 40 YEARS. MAMA, I KNOW YOU MARCHED, YOU 148 00:18:16,895 --> 00:18:21,132 TOLD ME THE STORIES. YES, I WILL PUT THE DIPLOMA BACK ON THE WALL. I WANT TO TALK BAD ABOUT 149 00:18:21,132 --> 00:18:28,707 COLLEGE. YES, MAMA. OKAY, SIDE NOTE: COLLEGE IS NECESSARY. 150 00:18:28,707 --> 00:18:36,948 IT BROADENS YOUR HORIZONS. AND I AM ABSOLUTELY A BETTER MAN BECAUSE OF THE DEGREE, AND THE INVALUABLE LIFE-LONG FRIENDSHIPS 151 00:18:36,948 --> 00:18:49,761 I MADE ALONG THE WAY. [APPLAUSE] SO MAYBE WE DON'T HAVE TO ABOLISH COLLEGE, BUT WE NEED TO 152 00:18:49,761 --> 00:18:56,868 FIND A WAY FOR ITS BENEFITS TO OUTWEIGH ITS COSTS. BECAUSE IF A FOUR-YEAR DEGREE IS 153 00:18:56,868 --> 00:19:03,208 GONNA LEAVE YOU WITH CRIPPLING DEBT AND PEOPLE NOT RESPECTING THE DEGREE, THEN MAYBE WE ALL OWE PARKING LOT T-SHIRT MAN AN 154 00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:11,983 APOLOGY. BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE WE'RE ALL VICTIMS OF FOR-PROFIT EDUCATION. STAY TUNED. 155 00:19:11,983 --> 00:19:15,387 WHEN WE COME BACK, AUTHOR JERRY CRAFT WILL BE JOINING ME ON THE SHOW. SO DON'T GO AWAY. 156 00:19:15,387 --> 00:19:19,624 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I'M GOING TO PRETEND YOU ARE 157 00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:52,090 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Roy: YEAH, YEAH! WELCOME BACK TO 158 00:19:52,090 --> 00:19:56,094 "THE DAILY SHOW." MY GUEST TONIGHT IS A "NEW YORK TIMES" BEST-SELLING AUTHOR AND ILLUSTRATOR 159 00:19:56,094 --> 00:19:59,931 WHOSE NEW BOOK IS CALLED "SCHOOL TRIP." PLEASE WELCOME JERRY CRAFT! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 160 00:19:59,931 --> 00:20:04,569 ♪ ♪ YES! MR. CRAFT. YES, SIR. 161 00:20:04,569 --> 00:20:10,275 Roy: FIRST OFF, SHOUTS OUT TO THE TIE. I SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING WITH THE TIE. 162 00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:24,589 YOU'VE GOT SOME OF THEM BLACK "PEANUT" CHARACTERS. YEAH, GOT FRANKLIN HERE. Roy: FIRST OFF, 163 00:20:24,589 --> 00:20:28,893 CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING BANNED. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THANK YOU. 164 00:20:28,893 --> 00:20:33,531 Roy: CONGRATULATIONS. I KNOW THAT MUST FEEL AWFUL. I KNOW THAT IS A TERRIBLE FEELING TO WRITE A BOOK AND THEN 165 00:20:33,531 --> 00:20:37,735 SOMEBODY GO, "OH, YOUR BOOK IS TOO GOOD! WE CAN'T LET NOBODY READ IT." WHAT WAS YOUR THOUGHTS AND 166 00:20:37,735 --> 00:20:42,807 FEELINGS WHEN YOU FIRST FOUND OUT ABOUT THAT? I WAS DISAPPOINTED. I WAS SAD FOR THE KIDS. 167 00:20:42,807 --> 00:20:49,013 BECAUSE -- SO THIS BOOK, THIS IS MY FIRST BOOK, "NEW KID." IT IS THE FIRST GRAPHIC NOVEL -- THE ONLY GRAPHIC NOVEL EVER TO 168 00:20:49,013 --> 00:21:04,429 WIN A NEWBERY MEDAL. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] IT WAS THE SECOND BOOK TO WIN A NEWBERY AND A CORETTA SCOTT 169 00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:13,304 KING. [APPLAUSE] AND THE ONLY BOOK EVER TO WIN THOSE TWO AND A KIRKUS PRIZE. 170 00:21:13,304 --> 00:21:23,281 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] SO NOT THE ONLY BLACK BOOK, THE ONLY BOOK. NOT THE ONLY BLACK BOOK. 171 00:21:23,281 --> 00:21:26,684 Roy: HOW DO WE GET TO THAT PLACE? HOW DO WE GO FROM A BOOK, THE SAME CHARACTER IN BOTH BOOKS. 172 00:21:26,684 --> 00:21:33,891 THIS IS THE THIRD BOOK WITH THIS CHARACTER. SO THE FIRST BOOK, AWARD, AWARD, AWARD. 173 00:21:33,891 --> 00:21:39,931 THIS BOOK, PEOPLE GO, CRT. HOW IS THAT CLASSIFICATION EVEN FAIR WITH THE LITERATURE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN CREATING? 174 00:21:39,931 --> 00:21:44,268 FAIR? [LAUGHTER] YOU ARE FUNNY. FAIR? 175 00:21:44,268 --> 00:22:01,686 [LAUGHTER] I MEAN, THAT IS THE POINT OF IT. IT'S LIKE, THEY CAN READ IT IN ALBANIAN, ROMANIAN, GREEK, THEY 176 00:22:01,686 --> 00:22:08,559 JUST CAN'T READ IT IN TEXAS. [AUDIENCE REACTS] Roy: WHEW. IT'S ABOUT SOME KIDS WHO DECIDE 177 00:22:08,559 --> 00:22:16,200 TO TRAVEL OVER TO FRANCE, AND THEY TAKE A SCHOOL TRIP. TO BE ABLE TO WRITE ABOUT CHILDREN TRAVELING BEYOND 178 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:25,176 THE HORIZON, WHAT WERE YOUR TRAVELING JOURNEYS WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD? WHEN I GRADUATED FROM 179 00:22:25,176 --> 00:22:29,347 COLLEGE, MY DAD TOOK ME TO THE BAHAMAS. AND IT WAS 70 YEARS OLD, HIS FIRST TIME ON THE PLANE, RIGHT? 180 00:22:29,347 --> 00:22:33,818 BECAUSE WE DIDN'T THINK THAT WE COULD TRAVEL, RIGHT? AND THEN, WE WENT EVERY YEAR TO A DIFFERENT PLACE FOR 20 YEARS. 181 00:22:33,818 --> 00:22:39,757 WHEN MY SONS GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE, I TOOK THEM TO PARIS. BECAUSE AGAIN, YOU DON'T THINK THAT YOU CAN DO THOSE THINGS. 182 00:22:39,757 --> 00:22:46,631 RIGHT? AND SO I MAKE THE BOOKS THAT I WISH THAT I HAD WHEN I WAS A KID, THAT MAKES KIDS READERS, 183 00:22:46,631 --> 00:23:03,948 THAT GIVES THEM HOPE BECAUSE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE THINGS THAT YOU CAN HOPE FOR, RIGHT? [APPLAUSE] 184 00:23:03,948 --> 00:23:09,620 SO I READ A REVIEW ONLINE -- THEY TELL ME NOT TO READ REVIEWS, BUT I DID ANYWAY. AND THIS WOMAN LITERALLY WROTE 185 00:23:09,620 --> 00:23:17,628 "I AM NOT SURE IF MY LARGELY POOR, LARGELY AFRICAN AMERICAN STUDENTS WILL BE ABLE TO RELATE TO THIS BOOK." 186 00:23:17,628 --> 00:23:28,005 SO I AM LIKE, BUT A KID -- YOU ARE SAYING, A KID CAN RELATE TO A KID WHO GOES TO WIZARD SCHOOL, FLIES ON A BROOM AND WAVES A 187 00:23:28,005 --> 00:23:33,778 WAND, BUT YOU CAN'T PICTURE THESE BLACK KIDS GOING TO PARIS SO YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LET THEM SEE THE BOOK? 188 00:23:33,778 --> 00:23:42,286 THAT IS WORSE THAN BEING BANNED. [APPLAUSE] Roy: THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO. 189 00:23:42,286 --> 00:23:45,990 JERRY CRAFT, APPRECIATE YOU, BROTHER. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THE BOOK IS "SCHOOL TRIP." 190 00:23:45,990 --> 00:23:50,194 IT'S AVAILABLE NOW. WE ARE GOING TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS. 191 00:24:02,039 --> 00:24:29,237 {\an7}♪ ♪ 192 00:24:29,237 --> 00:24:30,204 {\an7}[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 193 00:24:30,204 --> 00:24:30,930 {\an7}[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> Roy: WELL, THAT’S OUR SHOW 194 00:24:30,930 --> 00:24:31,831 {\an7}>> Roy: WELL, THAT’S OUR SHOW FOR TONIGHT, AND THAT’S MY TIME 195 00:24:31,831 --> 00:24:33,963 {\an7}FOR TONIGHT, AND THAT’S MY TIME AS HOST. 196 00:24:33,963 --> 00:24:35,105 {\an7}AS HOST. BUT STAY TUNED FOR YOUR NEXT 197 00:24:35,105 --> 00:24:35,831 {\an7}BUT STAY TUNED FOR YOUR NEXT GUEST HOST STARTS APRIL 17TH. 198 00:24:35,831 --> 00:24:38,237 {\an7}GUEST HOST STARTS APRIL 17TH. HIS NAME IS JORDAN KLEPPER. 199 00:24:38,237 --> 00:24:39,699 {\an7}HIS NAME IS JORDAN KLEPPER. BUT IF YOU STILL WANT TO SEE ME 200 00:24:39,699 --> 00:24:40,864 {\an7}BUT IF YOU STILL WANT TO SEE ME HOSTING SOMETHING, CHECK OUT 201 00:24:40,864 --> 00:24:42,666 {\an7}HOSTING SOMETHING, CHECK OUT "THE DAILY SHOW’S" PODCAST: 202 00:24:42,666 --> 00:24:43,369 {\an7}"THE DAILY SHOW’S" PODCAST: "BEYOND THE SCENES," WHERE I 203 00:24:43,369 --> 00:24:44,105 {\an7}"BEYOND THE SCENES," WHERE I SIT DOWN WITH CORRESPONDENTS, 204 00:24:44,105 --> 00:24:45,633 {\an7}SIT DOWN WITH CORRESPONDENTS, WRITERS, PRODUCERS, AND SPECIAL 205 00:24:45,633 --> 00:24:46,369 {\an7}WRITERS, PRODUCERS, AND SPECIAL GUESTS TO TALK ABOUT SEGMENTS 206 00:24:46,369 --> 00:24:47,171 {\an7}GUESTS TO TALK ABOUT SEGMENTS AND TOPICS WE’VE COVERED HERE ON 207 00:24:47,171 --> 00:24:48,105 {\an7}AND TOPICS WE’VE COVERED HERE ON SHOW. 208 00:24:48,105 --> 00:24:49,765 {\an7}SHOW. FIND IT WHERE EVER YOU GET YOUR 209 00:24:49,765 --> 00:24:51,138 {\an7}FIND IT WHERE EVER YOU GET YOUR PODCASTS. 210 00:24:51,138 --> 00:24:51,633 {\an7}PODCASTS. NOW HERE IT IS. 211 00:24:51,633 --> 00:24:52,237 {\an7}NOW HERE IT IS. YOUR "MOMENT OF ZEN." 212 00:24:52,237 --> 00:24:54,468 {\an7}YOUR "MOMENT OF ZEN." >> EVERYONE DESERVES A DEFENSE, 213 00:24:54,468 --> 00:24:55,204 {\an7}>> EVERYONE DESERVES A DEFENSE, EVERYONE DESERVES TO BE 214 00:24:55,204 --> 00:24:57,105 {\an7}EVERYONE DESERVES TO BE PROCESSED, AND ALL OF US SHOULD 215 00:24:57,105 --> 00:24:58,105 {\an7}PROCESSED, AND ALL OF US SHOULD TAKE A VERY, VERY, VERY DEEP 216 00:24:58,105 --> 00:24:59,600 {\an7}TAKE A VERY, VERY, VERY DEEP BREATH AND RECOGNIZE THE SOLEMN 217 00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,468 {\an7}BREATH AND RECOGNIZE THE SOLEMN NUMBNESS OF THIS MOMENT, AND 218 00:25:02,468 --> 00:25:04,072 {\an7}NUMBNESS OF THIS MOMENT, AND HOPE THAT THE FORMER 219 00:25:04,072 --> 00:25:05,732 {\an7}HOPE THAT THE FORMER PRESIDENT STARTS TO ACT LIKE A 220 00:25:05,732 --> 00:25:07,336 {\an7}PRESIDENT STARTS TO ACT LIKE A CITIZEN OF THIS COUNTRY, WHICH