1 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:04,833 * 2 00:00:04,833 --> 00:00:06,300 >> Announcer: FROM 3 00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:07,700 NEW YORK CITY, THE ONLY CITY IN 4 00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:08,767 AMERICA, IT'S THE SHOW THAT 5 00:00:08,767 --> 00:00:10,000 INVENTED NEWS. 6 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,133 THIS IS "THE DAILY SHOW" WITH 7 00:00:11,133 --> 00:00:16,567 YOUR HOST, DESI LYDIC! 8 00:00:16,567 --> 00:00:20,400 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 9 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:24,867 * 10 00:00:24,867 --> 00:00:29,533 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 11 00:00:29,533 --> 00:00:31,033 >> Desi: WELCOME TO 12 00:00:31,033 --> 00:00:32,000 "THE DAILY SHOW!" 13 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:36,633 I'M DESI LYDIC. 14 00:00:36,633 --> 00:00:38,700 WELL, IT'S NIGHT TWO AND SO FAR, 15 00:00:38,700 --> 00:00:39,433 I'VE OUTLASTED TUCKER CARLSON 16 00:00:39,433 --> 00:00:43,033 AND DON LEMON. 17 00:00:43,033 --> 00:00:45,200 ALL I HAVE TO DO IS NOT HARASS 18 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:45,933 ANYONE. 19 00:00:45,933 --> 00:00:47,367 THAT CAMERA GUY KNOWS WHAT I'M 20 00:00:47,367 --> 00:00:48,167 TALKING ABOUT. 21 00:00:48,167 --> 00:00:50,667 GIVE US A LITTLE TWIRL, HONEY. 22 00:00:50,667 --> 00:00:51,400 YEAH! 23 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:52,400 WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 24 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:53,167 TONIGHT. 25 00:00:53,167 --> 00:00:56,467 SO LET'S GET INTO HEADLINES! 26 00:00:56,467 --> 00:00:56,800 * 27 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,433 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 28 00:00:59,433 --> 00:01:02,400 LET'S BEGIN WITH SOME 29 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,900 SHOCKING NEWS ABOUT THE 2024 30 00:01:04,900 --> 00:01:05,500 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION. 31 00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:06,800 IT TURNS OUT THAT THE GUY WHO 32 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,467 SPENT HIS WHOLE LIFE WANTING TO 33 00:01:08,467 --> 00:01:11,133 BE PRESIDENT NOW WANTS TO 34 00:01:11,133 --> 00:01:11,800 CONTINUE BEING PRESIDENT. 35 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:12,567 >> WE DO HAVE REAL BREAKING NEWS 36 00:01:12,567 --> 00:01:14,600 THIS MORNING, AS PRESIDENT BIDEN 37 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:15,333 IS OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCING HE IS 38 00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:16,900 RUNNING FOR RE-ELECTION. 39 00:01:16,900 --> 00:01:19,067 THE PRESIDENT LAUNCHED HIS 40 00:01:19,067 --> 00:01:20,133 CAMPAIGN WITH A VIDEO THAT TOOK 41 00:01:20,133 --> 00:01:21,367 AIM AT REPUBLICANS OVER 42 00:01:21,367 --> 00:01:22,133 ABORTION, SOCIAL SECURITY, AND 43 00:01:22,133 --> 00:01:25,200 CULTURE WARS. 44 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:27,400 >> WHEN I RAN FOR PRESIDENT FOUR 45 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:28,133 YEARS AGO, I SAID, WE'RE IN A 46 00:01:28,133 --> 00:01:28,900 BATTLE FOR THE SOUL OF AMERICA, 47 00:01:28,900 --> 00:01:32,300 AND WE STILL ARE. 48 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:35,067 THIS IS NOT A TIME TO BE 49 00:01:35,067 --> 00:01:36,733 COMPLACENT. 50 00:01:36,733 --> 00:01:37,900 THAT'S WHY I'M RUNNING FOR 51 00:01:37,900 --> 00:01:42,933 RE-ELECTION. 52 00:01:42,933 --> 00:01:44,500 >> Desi: THAT'S RIGHT. 53 00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:47,067 JOE BIDEN IS RUNNING FOR 54 00:01:47,067 --> 00:01:48,200 REELECTION. 55 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:48,866 WELL, NOT RUNNING EXACTLY. 56 00:01:48,866 --> 00:01:49,800 THE MAN IS 80 YEARS OLD. 57 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:51,267 LET'S SAY HE'S "STAIR LIFTING" 58 00:01:51,267 --> 00:01:54,633 FOR PRESIDENT. 59 00:01:54,633 --> 00:01:56,833 YEAH. 60 00:01:56,833 --> 00:02:00,300 [LAUGHS] 61 00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:02,833 IF JOE BIDEN DOES WIN, HE WOULD 62 00:02:02,833 --> 00:02:04,700 BE 86-YEARS-OLD WHEN HE REACHES 63 00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:05,633 THE END OF HIS SECOND TERM. 64 00:02:05,633 --> 00:02:08,866 HOPEFULLY. 65 00:02:08,866 --> 00:02:10,633 WHICH IS ONE REASON WHY 70% OF 66 00:02:10,633 --> 00:02:11,667 AMERICANS DON'T THINK HE SHOULD 67 00:02:11,667 --> 00:02:13,367 RUN AGAIN. 68 00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:15,267 AND TO BE FAIR, 86 IS OLD. 69 00:02:15,267 --> 00:02:16,067 NOT JUST FOR PRESIDENT, BUT FOR 70 00:02:16,067 --> 00:02:18,267 ANY JOB. 71 00:02:18,267 --> 00:02:21,833 IF MY LYFT DRIVER ROLLED UP AND 72 00:02:21,833 --> 00:02:26,133 WAS 86 YEARS OLD, I'D BE LIKE, 73 00:02:26,133 --> 00:02:28,833 "DO YOU NEED HELP GETTING HOME?" 74 00:02:28,833 --> 00:02:37,300 BUT MAYBE IT WOULD BE GOOD TO 75 00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:40,833 HAVE AN OLD MAN PRESIDENT. 76 00:02:40,833 --> 00:02:41,600 IF THE ECONOMY COLLAPSES, HE 77 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,433 COULD FIND A NEVER ENDING SUPPLY 78 00:02:43,433 --> 00:02:46,167 OF QUARTERS BEHIND HIS EAR. 79 00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:47,833 ALTHOUGH, THERE IS ONE THING HE 80 00:02:47,833 --> 00:02:50,433 DOES HAVE GOING FOR HIM. 81 00:02:50,433 --> 00:02:50,900 DONALD TRUMP. 82 00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:52,200 SHOCKINGLY, PULL MYS SHOW THAT 83 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,100 MOST PEOPLE DON'T WANT HIM TO 84 00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:58,300 RUN EITHER. 85 00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:00,600 AND IN TRUMP'S CASE, IT'S NOT 86 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:01,767 JUST ABOUT HIS AGE. 87 00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:04,433 WAS ALSO HIS TENDENCY TO STEAL 88 00:03:04,433 --> 00:03:05,933 STUFF, LIKE CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS 89 00:03:05,933 --> 00:03:06,800 AND THE ELECTION. 90 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:10,400 HE IS IN COURT EVERY WEEK. 91 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:11,433 HUSH MONEY, TAX. 92 00:03:11,433 --> 00:03:13,167 HE HAS A NEW TRIAL STARTING 93 00:03:13,167 --> 00:03:16,200 TODAY AND YOU BARELY EVEN KNOW 94 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:16,533 THAT. 95 00:03:16,533 --> 00:03:18,367 THIS GUY HAD SO MANY VARIETIES 96 00:03:18,367 --> 00:03:19,833 OF LEGAL TROUBLE THAT HE COULD 97 00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:23,400 BE AND EVERY "LAW & ORDER." 98 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:24,067 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 99 00:03:24,067 --> 00:03:27,767 THE GUY IS GOING FOR A CRIME 100 00:03:27,767 --> 00:03:29,600 EGOT. 101 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:30,433 THOSE ARE AMERICA'S CHOICES. 102 00:03:30,433 --> 00:03:32,267 A GUY WHO IS AN 80TH YEAR OF 103 00:03:32,267 --> 00:03:35,067 LIFE AND A GUY WHO IS FACING 80 104 00:03:35,067 --> 00:03:35,533 YEARS TO LIFE. 105 00:03:35,533 --> 00:03:42,233 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 106 00:03:42,233 --> 00:03:43,233 IT SUCKS, BUT UNFORTUNATELY, 107 00:03:43,233 --> 00:03:49,533 AMERICA ONLY HAS TWO PEOPLE. 108 00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:51,633 ALTHOUGH, THERE IS ONE OTHER 109 00:03:51,633 --> 00:03:52,400 PERSON WHO SUDDENLY HAS A LOT OF 110 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,067 TIME ON HIS HANDS. 111 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:58,333 TUCKER CARLSON. 112 00:03:58,333 --> 00:03:58,867 [AUDIENCE REACTS] 113 00:03:58,867 --> 00:04:00,067 YEAH. 114 00:04:00,067 --> 00:04:00,933 YESTERDAY, CARLSON GOT FIRED 115 00:04:00,933 --> 00:04:01,700 FROM HIS JOB AT FOX NEWS, AND IT 116 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:02,733 WAS A HUGE SURPRISE TO EVERYONE, 117 00:04:02,733 --> 00:04:04,800 INCLUDING TUCKER. 118 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:06,067 APPARENTLY, THEY ONLY TOLD HIM 119 00:04:06,067 --> 00:04:08,133 10 MINUTES BEFORE ANNOUNCING IT 120 00:04:08,133 --> 00:04:13,867 PUBLICLY, WHICH IS SO COLD. 121 00:04:13,867 --> 00:04:14,600 I MEAN, THAT'S BARELY ENOUGH 122 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:15,367 TIME TO PACK UP ALL HIS NAZI 123 00:04:15,367 --> 00:04:16,433 MEMORABILIA! 124 00:04:16,433 --> 00:04:18,100 NOT TO MENTION, HE WAS FOX'S 125 00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:19,367 MOST POPULAR ANCHOR, AND THEY 126 00:04:19,367 --> 00:04:22,400 STILL FIRED HIM! 127 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:27,067 THAT'D BE LIKE IF MSNBC FIRED... 128 00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:29,467 WELL, IMAGINE IF THERE WAS A 129 00:04:29,467 --> 00:04:32,700 SHOW PEOPLE WATCHED ON MSNBC -- 130 00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:36,433 IT WOULD BE LIKE FIRING THEM. 131 00:04:36,433 --> 00:04:38,867 AND LOOK, I KNOW PEOPLE LOVE 132 00:04:38,867 --> 00:04:41,067 MAKING FUN OF TUCKER BUT JUST 133 00:04:41,067 --> 00:04:41,933 PUT YOURSELF IN HIS SHOES. 134 00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:49,067 SAY YOU'RE THIS MASSIVE PIECE OF 135 00:04:49,067 --> 00:04:50,167 SHIT WITH NO REAL FRIENDS AND 136 00:04:50,167 --> 00:04:53,067 GIGGLE LIKE TICKLE ME ELMO AND 137 00:04:53,067 --> 00:04:54,800 A DUMB FLOPPY HAIR CUT AND YOU 138 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:55,633 ALWAYS HAVE YOUR MOUTH OPEN LIKE 139 00:04:55,633 --> 00:04:57,067 YOU ARE DRYING YOUR TEETH -- 140 00:04:57,067 --> 00:04:59,400 WHERE MY GOING WITH THIS? 141 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,167 OH, TUCKER IS AN ASSHOLE. 142 00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:03,367 NOW WE STILL DON'T KNOW EXACTLY 143 00:05:03,367 --> 00:05:05,067 WHAT GOT TUCKER FIRED. 144 00:05:05,067 --> 00:05:08,633 MAYBE IT WAS THE LIES THAT COST 145 00:05:08,633 --> 00:05:10,067 FOX NEWS $787 MILLION. 146 00:05:10,067 --> 00:05:11,267 MAYBE IT WAS INSULTING HIS 147 00:05:11,267 --> 00:05:12,733 BOSSES AND PRIVATE TEXTS. 148 00:05:12,733 --> 00:05:15,167 MAYBE IT WAS HIS OVERALL VIBE OF 149 00:05:15,167 --> 00:05:15,833 CREEPY DAD DRIVING THE 150 00:05:15,833 --> 00:05:18,067 BABYSITTER HOME. 151 00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:20,800 OR MAYBE IT WAS THIS. 152 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,067 >> "THE DAILY BEAST" REPORTS 153 00:05:23,067 --> 00:05:24,233 THAT TUCKER'S REPEATED USE OF 154 00:05:24,233 --> 00:05:26,667 "THE C WORD" WAS A KEY FACTOR IN 155 00:05:26,667 --> 00:05:27,367 HIS DEMISE. 156 00:05:27,367 --> 00:05:29,067 ACCORDING TO TEXT MESSAGES FROM 157 00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:31,067 THE DOMINION LAWSUIT, HE 158 00:05:31,067 --> 00:05:33,467 RETURNED TO TRUMP LAWYER SIDNEY 159 00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:34,433 POWELL AS THE C-WORD AND A 160 00:05:34,433 --> 00:05:35,133 FORMER PRODUCER HAD A SHOW 161 00:05:35,133 --> 00:05:36,067 ALLEGES SHE HEARD THE WORD 162 00:05:36,067 --> 00:05:38,267 AROUND THE OFFICE CONSTANTLY. 163 00:05:38,267 --> 00:05:39,533 >> FEMALE POLITICIANS WHO CAME 164 00:05:39,533 --> 00:05:40,167 ON THE SHOW WERE MOCKED. 165 00:05:40,167 --> 00:05:40,867 THERE WERE DEBATES ABOUT WHO 166 00:05:40,867 --> 00:05:43,100 THEY'D RATHER SLEEP WITH. 167 00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:50,567 C-WORD ALL THE TIME. 168 00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,400 >> Desi: THEY USE C-WORD ALL 169 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:53,400 THE TIME? 170 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,367 LIKE, HOW DO YOU USE THE C-WORD 171 00:05:55,367 --> 00:05:56,733 AT THE OFFICE ALL THE TIME? 172 00:05:56,733 --> 00:06:00,800 "SUSAN'S TAKING LUNCH ORDERS, 173 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:04,233 TELL THAT [BLEEP], I WILL HAVE A 174 00:06:04,233 --> 00:06:05,267 [BLEEP] SALAD. 175 00:06:05,267 --> 00:06:06,167 HOLD THE [BLEEP]. 176 00:06:06,167 --> 00:06:08,067 DO YOU WANT TO SHARE THE 177 00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:08,400 [BLEEP]? 178 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,700 FOR THE AUDIENCE AT HOME, I KNOW 179 00:06:10,700 --> 00:06:11,633 THAT JUST GOT [BLEEP]. 180 00:06:11,633 --> 00:06:14,933 I JUST SAID THE WORD [BLEEP]. 181 00:06:14,933 --> 00:06:21,233 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 182 00:06:21,233 --> 00:06:23,067 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 183 00:06:23,067 --> 00:06:23,433 IT'S OKAY. 184 00:06:23,433 --> 00:06:26,167 TUCKER IS ALLOWED TO SAY THE 185 00:06:26,167 --> 00:06:28,300 C-WORD BECAUSE HE IS ONE. 186 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:29,600 BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THE VACCINE 187 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,367 SKEPTICAL WHITE GUY FACING A 188 00:06:31,367 --> 00:06:31,933 SUDDEN CAREER MOVE. 189 00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:36,133 LET'S TALK ABOUT AARON RODGERS. 190 00:06:36,133 --> 00:06:38,900 AFTER 18 YEARS PLAYING FOR THE 191 00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:40,167 GREEN BAY PACKERS, RODGERS HAS 192 00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:44,367 DECIDED TO CHANGE TEAMS, AND 193 00:06:44,367 --> 00:06:45,133 BECAUSE HE'S AARON RODGERS, HE 194 00:06:45,133 --> 00:06:49,067 DID IT IN THE WEIRDEST WAY 195 00:06:49,067 --> 00:06:49,467 POSSIBLE. 196 00:06:49,467 --> 00:06:50,733 >> BIG NEWS FROM THE NFL. 197 00:06:50,733 --> 00:06:51,467 FOUR-TIME MVP AARON RODGERS IS 198 00:06:51,467 --> 00:06:52,700 PACKING HIS BAGS FROM GREEN BAY 199 00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:53,367 TO JOIN THE NEW YORK JETS. 200 00:06:53,367 --> 00:06:54,067 >> LAST YEAR, A DOWN YEAR BY 201 00:06:54,067 --> 00:06:55,267 RODGERS' STANDARDS. 202 00:06:55,267 --> 00:06:58,733 THE TEAM MISSED THE PLAYOFFS. 203 00:06:58,733 --> 00:07:00,067 AND IF YOU SAW RODGERS WALK OFF 204 00:07:00,067 --> 00:07:01,100 THE FIELD AFTER THE REGULAR 205 00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:02,233 SEASON FINALE, YOU MIGHT HAVE 206 00:07:02,233 --> 00:07:02,933 THOUGHT THAT WAS IT FOR HIS 207 00:07:02,933 --> 00:07:03,500 CAREER. 208 00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:04,767 BUT THEN IN THE OFF SEASON, HE 209 00:07:04,767 --> 00:07:05,500 WENT ON A DARKNESS MEDITATION 210 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:06,333 RETREAT TO CONTEMPLATE HIS 211 00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:07,433 FUTURE. 212 00:07:07,433 --> 00:07:08,300 HE SAID HE WAS LEANING TOWARD 213 00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:09,400 RETIREMENT WHEN HE WENT IN. 214 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:10,467 HE DECIDED HE WANTED TO PLAY FOR 215 00:07:10,467 --> 00:07:15,967 THE JETS WHEN HE CAME OUT. 216 00:07:15,967 --> 00:07:20,100 >> Desi: [LAUGHS] 217 00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:20,867 >> Desi: YEAH, AARON RODGERS WAS 218 00:07:20,867 --> 00:07:24,832 LIKE, 219 00:07:24,832 --> 00:07:25,533 "I NO LONGER FEAR DARKNESS. 220 00:07:25,533 --> 00:07:27,400 TRADE ME TO THE JETS." 221 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:28,167 SO YES, AARON RODGERS DECIDED TO 222 00:07:28,167 --> 00:07:30,067 GO TO THE JETS AFTER SPENDING 223 00:07:30,067 --> 00:07:35,200 FOUR DAYS IN COMPLETE DARKNESS. 224 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:36,633 WHICH, FIRST OF ALL, YOU CAN 225 00:07:36,633 --> 00:07:39,133 JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES. 226 00:07:39,133 --> 00:07:39,700 BUT ALSO, 227 00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:40,667 THIS GUY DOES AYAHUASCA, AND I 228 00:07:40,667 --> 00:07:41,400 GOT TO SAY, I DON'T THINK IT'S 229 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:43,533 WORKING. 230 00:07:43,533 --> 00:07:44,967 IMAGINE TAKING A SUBSTANCE THAT 231 00:07:44,967 --> 00:07:47,533 OPENS YOUR MIND TO THE DEEPEST 232 00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:48,267 MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE, AND 233 00:07:48,267 --> 00:07:48,832 YOU COME OUT GOING, 234 00:07:48,832 --> 00:07:50,900 "WHOA... 235 00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:52,300 I SHOULD DO THE SAME JOB BUT IN 236 00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:59,400 A DIFFERENT CITY!" 237 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,633 IT ALL SEEMS LIKE SUCH A WASTE 238 00:08:01,633 --> 00:08:02,267 OF TIME! 239 00:08:02,267 --> 00:08:03,500 HE IS DOING ALL THIS WEIRD 240 00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:03,867 STUFF. 241 00:08:03,867 --> 00:08:04,767 HIS POOR BRAIN IS PROBABLY LIKE, 242 00:08:04,767 --> 00:08:07,833 CAN WE JUST GO BACK TO 243 00:08:07,833 --> 00:08:09,833 CONCUSSIONS? 244 00:08:09,833 --> 00:08:11,500 AND SPEAKING OF ILLEGAL DRUGS, 245 00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:13,300 LET'S MOVE ON TO OUR FINAL 246 00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:14,633 STORY: THE BATTLE OVER ABORTION 247 00:08:14,633 --> 00:08:15,067 PILLS. 248 00:08:15,067 --> 00:08:16,200 TWO WEEKS AGO, A JUDGE IN TEXAS 249 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:16,832 BANNED THE ABORTION PILL 250 00:08:16,832 --> 00:08:17,867 NATIONWIDE FOR "SAFETY REASONS," 251 00:08:17,867 --> 00:08:19,800 BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH WOMEN HAVE 252 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,933 USED IT SAFELY FOR OVER TWO 253 00:08:21,933 --> 00:08:23,200 DECADES, HE'S A MAN AND HE JUST 254 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:29,067 KNOWS BETTER. 255 00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:30,067 NOW THANK GOD THE SUPREME COURT 256 00:08:30,067 --> 00:08:31,167 HAS TEMPORARILY HALTED THAT 257 00:08:31,167 --> 00:08:31,800 DECISION, AT LEAST UNTIL 258 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:35,366 CLARENCE THOMAS COMES BACK FROM 259 00:08:35,366 --> 00:08:36,100 HIS ALL-EXPENSES-PAID CRUISE. 260 00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:37,500 BUT THAT DOESN'T STOP INDIVIDUAL 261 00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:38,832 STATES FROM ENACTING THEIR OWN 262 00:08:38,832 --> 00:08:40,900 BANS, AND OVER A DOZEN STATES 263 00:08:40,900 --> 00:08:43,467 ALREADY HAVE, INCLUDING WYOMING, 264 00:08:43,467 --> 00:08:44,733 WHICH BANS BOTH MIFESPRISTONE, 265 00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:46,500 AND A SECOND ABORTION PILL, 266 00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:50,867 MISOPROSTOL. 267 00:08:50,867 --> 00:08:52,167 BUT WE LOOKED INTO IT AND IT 268 00:08:52,167 --> 00:08:54,667 TURNS OUT, IT IS NOT A BAND FOR 269 00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:55,067 EVERYONE. 270 00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:59,567 YOU CAN STILL GET MISOPROSTOL IN 271 00:08:59,567 --> 00:09:02,667 WYOMING AS LONG AS YOU'RE A DOG, 272 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,900 OR A CAT OR A HORSE. 273 00:09:04,900 --> 00:09:06,667 BECAUSE VETERINARIANS IN WYOMING 274 00:09:06,667 --> 00:09:09,067 CAN STILL PRESCRIBE 275 00:09:09,067 --> 00:09:10,400 THE PILL FOR ANIMALS. 276 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:11,167 WHICH MEANS IF YOU'RE A WOMAN IN 277 00:09:11,167 --> 00:09:11,900 WYOMING WHOSE RIGHTS ARE BEING 278 00:09:11,900 --> 00:09:12,600 RESTRICTED, YOU NEED TO GET 279 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:14,167 CREATIVE. 280 00:09:14,167 --> 00:09:18,700 * 281 00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:21,200 >> GOOD GIRL. 282 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:24,067 I AM YOUR MOMMY. 283 00:09:24,067 --> 00:09:24,700 >> HI. 284 00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:25,900 YOU MUST BE DESI. 285 00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:27,733 >> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SEEING 286 00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:28,067 ME. 287 00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:31,267 >> MY GIRL. 288 00:09:31,267 --> 00:09:31,900 WAFFLES. 289 00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:32,433 >> OF COURSE. 290 00:09:32,433 --> 00:09:34,567 WHAT CAN WE DO FOR WAFFLES 291 00:09:34,567 --> 00:09:35,067 TODAY? 292 00:09:35,067 --> 00:09:36,100 >> WAFFLES WAS WONDERING IF YOU 293 00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:37,067 COULD WRITE A PRESCRIPTION FOR 294 00:09:37,067 --> 00:09:40,067 THE ABORTION PILL? 295 00:09:40,067 --> 00:09:40,833 >> OKAY. 296 00:09:40,833 --> 00:09:43,100 WHEN DID YOUR DOG BECOME 297 00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:51,133 PREGNANT? 298 00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:53,967 TWO WEEKS AGO, APPARENTLY. 299 00:09:53,967 --> 00:09:54,633 THANK YOU. 300 00:09:54,633 --> 00:09:56,300 IT'S NOT REALLY A GREAT TIME FOR 301 00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:58,367 HER, YOU KNOW, SHE'S REALLY 302 00:09:58,367 --> 00:09:59,133 TRYING TO FOCUS ON HER CAREER. 303 00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:00,300 >> OH, I SEE. 304 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,633 AND WHAT DOES SHE DO FOR A 305 00:10:02,633 --> 00:10:03,033 LIVING? 306 00:10:03,033 --> 00:10:05,700 >> Desi: SHE IS A SLED DOG. 307 00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:07,267 SHE IS A SLED DOG. 308 00:10:07,267 --> 00:10:09,200 >> SHE'S A SLED DOG SLED DOG. 309 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,233 >> Desi: YEAH, AND SHE IS ALSO 310 00:10:11,233 --> 00:10:13,433 A BOMB SNIFFING DOG, AND AS YOU 311 00:10:13,433 --> 00:10:14,500 KNOW, PREGNANCY REALLY MESSES 312 00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:17,233 WITH THE OLFACTORY ORGANS. 313 00:10:17,233 --> 00:10:20,067 >> NO, THAT'S NOT A THING. 314 00:10:20,067 --> 00:10:20,767 >> Desi: MOSTLY, SHE'S A 315 00:10:20,767 --> 00:10:22,467 THERAPY DOG. 316 00:10:22,467 --> 00:10:23,033 AREN'T YOU, RUFFLES? 317 00:10:23,033 --> 00:10:24,133 >> I THOUGHT HER NAME WAS 318 00:10:24,133 --> 00:10:24,500 WAFFLES. 319 00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:25,467 >> Desi: THIS IS CRAZY THAT 320 00:10:25,467 --> 00:10:28,167 THIS WOULD HAPPEN RIGHT NOW 321 00:10:28,167 --> 00:10:28,800 BECAUSE SHE ALWAYS USES 322 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:29,233 PROTECTION. 323 00:10:29,233 --> 00:10:30,633 >> YOU MEAN SHE IS FENCED IN? 324 00:10:30,633 --> 00:10:32,867 >> Desi: SHE'S FENCED AND 325 00:10:32,867 --> 00:10:33,900 ALL RIGHT. 326 00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,533 DOGS ARE SO EXPENSIVE! 327 00:10:35,533 --> 00:10:36,833 DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE DOGS 328 00:10:36,833 --> 00:10:37,133 ARE? 329 00:10:37,133 --> 00:10:39,100 >> I DO. 330 00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:40,233 I AM ACTUALLY A VETERINARIAN. 331 00:10:40,233 --> 00:10:41,267 >> Desi: THERE'S DOG FOOD, 332 00:10:41,267 --> 00:10:44,767 DOGGY DAY CARE, DOGGY 333 00:10:44,767 --> 00:10:46,200 TAE KWON DO LESSONS, DOGGY 334 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,133 DIAPERS, DOGGY COLLEGE, THAT IS 335 00:10:48,133 --> 00:10:48,700 THE FIRST 18 YEARS. 336 00:10:48,700 --> 00:10:50,867 >> MOST DOGS DON'T HAVE THAT 337 00:10:50,867 --> 00:10:51,200 LONG. 338 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:52,033 >> Desi: SHE ALREADY HAS TWO 339 00:10:52,033 --> 00:10:52,933 PUPPIES AT HOME AND THEY ARE 340 00:10:52,933 --> 00:10:54,700 SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF HER, 341 00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:55,367 QUITE LITERALLY. 342 00:10:55,367 --> 00:10:57,167 AND THIS IS HER [BLEEP] 343 00:10:57,167 --> 00:10:57,833 DECISION. 344 00:10:57,833 --> 00:10:58,833 THIS IS HER DECISION! 345 00:10:58,833 --> 00:11:00,667 AND THAT IS WHY THESE PILLS 346 00:11:00,667 --> 00:11:01,067 EXIST. 347 00:11:01,067 --> 00:11:02,267 SO PLEASE, GIVE HER THE PILLS, 348 00:11:02,267 --> 00:11:03,400 PLEASE AND THANK YOU! 349 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:05,900 DID I SAY PLEASE? 350 00:11:05,900 --> 00:11:07,133 * 351 00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:09,100 >> IT'S OKAY. 352 00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:10,367 SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN 353 00:11:10,367 --> 00:11:10,733 HERSELF. 354 00:11:10,733 --> 00:11:12,367 WE CAN PRESCRIBE ABORTION PILLS 355 00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:19,267 FOR YOUR DOG. 356 00:11:19,267 --> 00:11:23,200 * 357 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:23,633 OKAY. 358 00:11:23,633 --> 00:11:27,067 >> Desi: THANK YOU. 359 00:11:27,067 --> 00:11:27,467 HEY! 360 00:11:27,467 --> 00:11:29,467 THAT'S MY DOG. 361 00:11:29,467 --> 00:11:35,167 >> Desi: I'M SO SORRY. 362 00:11:35,167 --> 00:11:37,767 I AM SO SORRY. 363 00:11:37,767 --> 00:11:39,900 [APPLAUSE] 364 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,233 COULD YOU PRESCRIBE AN ABORTION 365 00:11:42,233 --> 00:11:42,567 PILL? 366 00:11:42,567 --> 00:11:44,200 YOU KNOW, FOR MY DOG? 367 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:47,267 >> YEAH. 368 00:11:47,267 --> 00:11:48,100 WHAT IS YOUR NAME? 369 00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:49,767 I MEAN, HER NAME? 370 00:11:49,767 --> 00:11:52,233 * 371 00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:52,833 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 372 00:11:52,833 --> 00:11:53,567 >> Desi: WHEN WE COME BACK, MY 373 00:11:53,567 --> 00:11:54,300 INTERVIEW WITH TRANSPORTATION 374 00:11:54,300 --> 00:11:54,967 SECRETARY PETE BUTTIGIEG. 375 00:11:54,967 --> 00:11:55,433 DON'T GO AWAY. 376 00:11:55,433 --> 00:11:57,433 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 377 00:11:57,433 --> 00:12:04,533 * 378 00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:23,467 * 379 00:12:23,467 --> 00:12:26,333 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 380 00:12:26,333 --> 00:12:26,967 >> Desi: WELCOME BACK TO 381 00:12:26,967 --> 00:12:29,300 "THE DAILY SHOW." 382 00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:30,733 AS A BASIC BITCH, ONE OF MY 383 00:12:30,733 --> 00:12:32,333 FAVORITE INTERESTS IS TRAVEL. 384 00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:33,400 IT'S RIGHT AFTER LIVING, 385 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:34,933 LAUGHING, AND LOVING. 386 00:12:34,933 --> 00:12:37,067 SO WHEN I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO 387 00:12:37,067 --> 00:12:38,567 INTERVIEW TRANSPORTATION 388 00:12:38,567 --> 00:12:39,333 SECRETARY PETE BUTTIGIEG, I TOOK 389 00:12:39,333 --> 00:12:41,567 IT. 390 00:12:41,567 --> 00:12:43,600 CHECK OUT MY INTERVIEW WITH HIM 391 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:49,400 AT THE D.O.T. OPERATIONS CENTER. 392 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:50,367 SO SORRY. 393 00:12:50,367 --> 00:12:52,367 SECRETARY BUTTIGIEG, THANK YOU 394 00:12:52,367 --> 00:12:52,733 SO MUCH. 395 00:12:52,733 --> 00:12:54,533 I APOLOGIZE FOR BEING LATE. 396 00:12:54,533 --> 00:12:58,300 I TOOK AMTRAK. 397 00:12:58,300 --> 00:12:59,400 OKAY. 398 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:04,200 SECRETARY BUTTIGIEG, WE ARE HERE 399 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:04,800 AT THE DEPARTMENT OF 400 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:05,500 TRANSPORTATION, WHICH IS THE 401 00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:06,300 HUB, THE CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM 402 00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:09,200 OF AMERICA'S INFRASTRUCTURE. 403 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:10,533 YET, AMERICA IS A DIVIDED 404 00:13:10,533 --> 00:13:11,067 NATION. 405 00:13:11,067 --> 00:13:13,333 SO HOW DO YOU BRING US ALL 406 00:13:13,333 --> 00:13:16,767 TOGETHER WITH PROJECTS THAT 407 00:13:16,767 --> 00:13:17,700 NORMALLY BRING US TOGETHER? 408 00:13:17,700 --> 00:13:18,367 >> Sec. Buttigieg: I THINK 409 00:13:18,367 --> 00:13:20,533 EVERYBODY LOVES A GOOD 410 00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:21,533 TRANSPORTATION PROJECT. 411 00:13:21,533 --> 00:13:22,967 EVEN THOUGH NOT EVERYONE VOTED 412 00:13:22,967 --> 00:13:23,933 FOR THE INFRASTRUCTURE LAW, I 413 00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:26,567 HAVE YET TO MEET ANYBODY WHO IS 414 00:13:26,567 --> 00:13:28,600 UPSET WHEN WE ARE FIXING AN 415 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,400 AIRPORT TERMINAL, UPGRADING A 416 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:33,400 BRIDGE SO THAT WE CAN HAVE A 417 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,800 BETTER, SAFER, MORE CONVENIENT 418 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,333 EXPERIENCE GETTING AROUND THE 419 00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:37,700 COUNTRY. 420 00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:38,667 >> Desi: WHAT HAVE BEEN THE 421 00:13:38,667 --> 00:13:40,133 BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENTS AT THE 422 00:13:40,133 --> 00:13:40,833 D.O.T. SINCE HE TOOK OVER? 423 00:13:40,833 --> 00:13:42,433 >> Sec. Buttigieg: SO WHEN WE 424 00:13:42,433 --> 00:13:44,200 GOT HERE, FIRST OF ALL, THE 425 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:45,533 BIGGEST QUESTION BACK IN 2021 426 00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:46,433 ABOUT EVERLY AIRLINES WAS 427 00:13:46,433 --> 00:13:47,867 WHETHER THEY WERE GOING TO GO 428 00:13:47,867 --> 00:13:49,067 OUT OF BUSINESS. 429 00:13:49,067 --> 00:13:51,733 BUT THEN AS TO DEMAND RETURN, WE 430 00:13:51,733 --> 00:13:53,300 STARTED FINDING NEW TOOLS FOR 431 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:55,267 HOLDING THEM ACCOUNTABLE FOR HOW 432 00:13:55,267 --> 00:13:56,433 THEY TREAT CUSTOMERS. 433 00:13:56,433 --> 00:13:58,067 >> Desi: WHAT ARE SOME AREAS 434 00:13:58,067 --> 00:14:00,067 OF THE D.O.T. COULD IMPROVE ON? 435 00:14:00,067 --> 00:14:01,133 LIKE, HAVE YOU HAD ANY 436 00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:02,233 ROADBLOCKS? 437 00:14:02,233 --> 00:14:03,633 >> Sec. Buttigieg: I SEE WHAT 438 00:14:03,633 --> 00:14:04,200 YOU DID THERE. 439 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:04,833 >> Desi: THANK YOU. 440 00:14:04,833 --> 00:14:05,500 >> Sec. Buttigieg: WE ARE 441 00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:07,800 DOING A LOT TO HOLD COMPANIES 442 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,333 ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR SAFETY 443 00:14:09,333 --> 00:14:10,100 PRACTICES. 444 00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,933 RIGHT NOW, THE FINES ARE CAPPED. 445 00:14:11,933 --> 00:14:13,400 FOR EXAMPLE, IF WE CATCH A 446 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,967 COMPANY IN AN EGREGIOUS 447 00:14:15,967 --> 00:14:17,200 VIOLATION INVOLVING HAZARDOUS 448 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:17,867 MATERIAL THAT GET SOMEONE 449 00:14:17,867 --> 00:14:19,333 KILLED, THE HIGHEST, TOUGHEST 450 00:14:19,333 --> 00:14:20,367 LINE UNDER THE LAW THAT WE CAN 451 00:14:20,367 --> 00:14:22,700 ASSESS IS ABOUT $250,000. 452 00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:27,400 THAT IS NOT ENOUGH IN MY VIEW TO 453 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,800 GET THE ATTENTION OF A 454 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:29,533 MULTIBILLION-DOLLAR RAILWAY 455 00:14:29,533 --> 00:14:30,500 COMPANY LIKE NORFOLK SOUTHERN. 456 00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:31,433 RIGHT NOW, THERE'S A BIPARTISAN 457 00:14:31,433 --> 00:14:33,067 PROPOSAL IN THE SENATE, CALLED 458 00:14:33,067 --> 00:14:33,767 THE RAILWAY SAFETY ACT, AND IT 459 00:14:33,767 --> 00:14:35,433 WOULD DO A NUMBER OF THINGS THAT 460 00:14:35,433 --> 00:14:37,067 I HAVE BEEN CALLING FOR THAT I 461 00:14:37,067 --> 00:14:38,067 THINK WOULD MAKE A BIG 462 00:14:38,067 --> 00:14:38,467 DIFFERENCE. 463 00:14:38,467 --> 00:14:40,633 RIGHT NOW, WE ARE DEALING WITH 464 00:14:40,633 --> 00:14:42,200 SOME, NOT ALL, BUT SOME 465 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:43,367 REPUBLICANS ON CAPITOL HILL WHO 466 00:14:43,367 --> 00:14:44,867 ARE SAYING, WELL, WE DON'T WANT 467 00:14:44,867 --> 00:14:46,767 TO DO TOO MUCH TOO FAST WHEN IT 468 00:14:46,767 --> 00:14:48,233 COMES TO GETTING TOUGH ON 469 00:14:48,233 --> 00:14:49,200 RAILROAD COMPANIES. 470 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,067 IN MY VIEW, WE NEED TO ACT NOW. 471 00:14:51,067 --> 00:14:52,333 >> Desi: WHY DO YOU THINK SOME 472 00:14:52,333 --> 00:14:53,233 REPUBLICANS ARE STALLING ON 473 00:14:53,233 --> 00:14:53,567 THIS? 474 00:14:53,567 --> 00:14:56,167 IS IT BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO BUSY 475 00:14:56,167 --> 00:14:57,333 FOCUSED ON STARTING CULTURE 476 00:14:57,333 --> 00:14:57,667 WARS? 477 00:14:57,667 --> 00:14:58,400 >> Sec. Buttigieg: WELL, I DO 478 00:14:58,400 --> 00:14:59,667 THINK THE CULTURE WARS ARE 479 00:14:59,667 --> 00:15:01,767 GETTING IN THE WAY SOMETIMES. 480 00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:04,633 JUST THE OTHER DAY, I WAS 481 00:15:04,633 --> 00:15:06,167 TESTIFYING IN THE APPROPRIATIONS 482 00:15:06,167 --> 00:15:07,467 SUBCOMMITTEE, EXPLAINING HOW OUR 483 00:15:07,467 --> 00:15:10,133 BUDGET WAS GOING TO HELP WITH 484 00:15:10,133 --> 00:15:11,967 THINGS LIKE RAILROAD SAFETY, AIR 485 00:15:11,967 --> 00:15:12,933 TRAFFIC CONTROL, AND OTHER 486 00:15:12,933 --> 00:15:13,700 TRANSPORTATION NEEDS, AND WE HAD 487 00:15:13,700 --> 00:15:14,833 TO TAKE A BREAK SO THAT THEY 488 00:15:14,833 --> 00:15:18,133 COULD ALL GO AND VOTE ON A BILL 489 00:15:18,133 --> 00:15:20,133 TO KICK TRANSGENDER TEENAGERS 490 00:15:20,133 --> 00:15:21,433 OFF SPORTS TEAM'S. 491 00:15:21,433 --> 00:15:22,867 THAT WAS A PRIORITY FOR THE 492 00:15:22,867 --> 00:15:24,400 HOUSE G.O.P. THAT DAY. 493 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:25,600 SO THESE THINGS REALLY ARE 494 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:26,333 GETTING IN THE WAY OF OUR 495 00:15:26,333 --> 00:15:29,967 ABILITY TO GET WORK DONE. 496 00:15:29,967 --> 00:15:31,067 WE ARE LITERALLY BUILDING 497 00:15:31,067 --> 00:15:34,067 BRIDGES, AND THEY ARE LITERALLY 498 00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:34,467 BANNING BOOKS. 499 00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:36,200 >> Desi: IS THE DEPARTMENT OF 500 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:36,867 TRANSPORTATION GOING WOKE? 501 00:15:36,867 --> 00:15:37,533 >> Sec. Buttigieg: I DON'T 502 00:15:37,533 --> 00:15:39,367 THINK IT IS WOKE TO BUILD GOOD 503 00:15:39,367 --> 00:15:40,100 INFRASTRUCTURE. 504 00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:40,867 I JUST SAW FOX NEWS TAKING A RUN 505 00:15:40,867 --> 00:15:43,933 AT ME FOR THE WORK WE ARE DOING 506 00:15:43,933 --> 00:15:46,133 ON THE SAFETY, INCLUDING THE USE 507 00:15:46,133 --> 00:15:47,233 OF CRASH TEST DUMMIES THAT 508 00:15:47,233 --> 00:15:49,200 SIMULATE MEN, WOMEN, AND 509 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:50,100 CHILDREN. 510 00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:51,833 AND SOMEHOW, THIS IS CONSIDERED 511 00:15:51,833 --> 00:15:53,433 A WOKE PRIORITY TO HAVE A FEMALE 512 00:15:53,433 --> 00:15:54,767 CRASH TEST DUMMIES EVEN THOUGH 513 00:15:54,767 --> 00:15:56,433 THIS IS SOMETHING THAT HAS BEEN 514 00:15:56,433 --> 00:15:57,833 AROUND FOR A VERY LONG TIME. 515 00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:59,067 >> Desi: FOX NEWS HAS MADE 516 00:15:59,067 --> 00:16:00,300 LOADS OF FALSE STATEMENTS ABOUT 517 00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:01,400 YOU OVER THE YEARS. 518 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:01,933 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 519 00:16:01,933 --> 00:16:04,133 DO YOU THINK IT IS LAWSUIT TIME? 520 00:16:04,133 --> 00:16:07,700 CASH IN ON SOME OF THAT 521 00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:08,900 $787 MILLION IN COIN? 522 00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:09,633 >> Sec. Buttigieg: DOES SOUND 523 00:16:09,633 --> 00:16:10,400 LIKE THERE IS A LOT OF MONEY IN 524 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:11,267 THAT BUT PROBABLY WOULD BE A BIT 525 00:16:11,267 --> 00:16:12,967 OF A DISTRACTION IN MY CASE. 526 00:16:12,967 --> 00:16:14,167 >> Desi: POSSIBLY, BUT YOU 527 00:16:14,167 --> 00:16:16,067 KNOW, IT COULD HELP FUND SOME OF 528 00:16:16,067 --> 00:16:17,133 THESE PROJECTS. 529 00:16:17,133 --> 00:16:18,767 >> Sec. Buttigieg: YEAH, I 530 00:16:18,767 --> 00:16:20,833 THINK I WOULD PREFER TO STICK 531 00:16:20,833 --> 00:16:21,600 WITH THE APPROPRIATIONS PROCESS. 532 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:22,600 BUT THE AMOUNT OF MONEY IN THAT 533 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,967 LAWSUIT IS AS MUCH IS THE SUM OF 534 00:16:25,967 --> 00:16:26,867 OUR NATIONWIDE TRANSPORTATION 535 00:16:26,867 --> 00:16:27,633 INFRASTRUCTURE PROGRAMS. 536 00:16:27,633 --> 00:16:28,933 >> Desi: THAT COULD REPAIR AT 537 00:16:28,933 --> 00:16:31,667 LEAST HUNDREDS OF FEET OF TUNNEL 538 00:16:31,667 --> 00:16:33,167 TUNNEL. 539 00:16:33,167 --> 00:16:34,300 >> Sec. Buttigieg: DEPENDING 540 00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:34,833 ON THE TUNNEL. 541 00:16:34,833 --> 00:16:36,567 >> Desi: SECRETARY BUTTIGIEG, 542 00:16:36,567 --> 00:16:37,800 THANK YOU FOR CHATTING WITH US. 543 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:38,700 >> Sec. Buttigieg: THANKS FOR 544 00:16:38,700 --> 00:16:39,233 JOINING US. 545 00:16:39,233 --> 00:16:41,400 >> Desi: REAL QUICK, BEFORE I 546 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,333 GO, CAN I JUST GET A QUICK 547 00:16:43,333 --> 00:16:44,467 REIMBURSEMENT FOR THE TRAIN THAT 548 00:16:44,467 --> 00:16:46,200 I TOOK OUT HERE? 549 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:49,800 I WAS LITERALLY ON THE TRAIN FOR 550 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:50,433 ABOUT 12 HOURS STRAIGHT. 551 00:16:50,433 --> 00:16:51,133 >> Sec. Buttigieg: SORRY TO 552 00:16:51,133 --> 00:16:51,533 HEAR THAT. 553 00:16:51,533 --> 00:16:54,200 >> Desi: THIS WAS LIKE THE 554 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,600 BEST TRAIN THAT AMERICA HAS TO 555 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:56,933 OFFER. 556 00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,567 IF I COULD JUST GET A LITTLE 557 00:16:58,567 --> 00:16:58,933 REFUND. 558 00:16:58,933 --> 00:16:59,633 >> Sec. Buttigieg: GOING TO 559 00:16:59,633 --> 00:17:00,967 HAVE TO TAKE IT UP WITH AMTRAK. 560 00:17:00,967 --> 00:17:02,533 >> Desi: OKAY. 561 00:17:02,533 --> 00:17:04,967 >> Sec. Buttigieg: YOU KNOW, 562 00:17:04,967 --> 00:17:05,300 SURE. 563 00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:06,500 I WILL SEND IT ALONG FOR YOU. 564 00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:07,433 >> Desi: THANK YOU. 565 00:17:07,433 --> 00:17:09,133 THEY COULD USE YOUR STAMP OF 566 00:17:09,133 --> 00:17:09,532 APPROVAL. 567 00:17:09,532 --> 00:17:10,267 >> Sec. Buttigieg: WE DON'T 568 00:17:10,267 --> 00:17:12,933 ACTUALLY DO STAMPS ANYMORE. 569 00:17:12,933 --> 00:17:16,067 >> Desi: HEY, THANKS. 570 00:17:16,067 --> 00:17:17,067 THANK YOU, SECRETARY. 571 00:17:17,067 --> 00:17:18,166 IT REALLY WAS AN HONOR. 572 00:17:18,166 --> 00:17:20,133 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 573 00:17:20,133 --> 00:17:20,900 APPRECIATE IT. 574 00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:22,133 >> Sec. Buttigieg: ENJOY YOUR 575 00:17:22,133 --> 00:17:22,467 TRIP. 576 00:17:22,467 --> 00:17:23,067 >> Desi: THIS IS AN 577 00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:23,467 INCREDIBLE. 578 00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:24,933 DO YOU MIND IF I TAKE A SPIN 579 00:17:24,933 --> 00:17:25,300 AROUND? 580 00:17:25,300 --> 00:17:25,967 >> Sec. Buttigieg: YOU ARE 581 00:17:25,967 --> 00:17:28,067 WELCOME TO LOOK AROUND A LITTLE 582 00:17:28,067 --> 00:17:28,733 BIT. 583 00:17:28,733 --> 00:17:29,467 >> Desi: OKAY, GREAT. 584 00:17:29,467 --> 00:17:30,300 >> Sec. Buttigieg: OR I CAN 585 00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:31,867 JUST DESCRIBE THINGS TO YOU. 586 00:17:31,867 --> 00:17:33,133 >> Desi: THAT'S OKAY, I WILL 587 00:17:33,133 --> 00:17:34,233 JUST SNEAK IN TO SOME OF THESE 588 00:17:34,233 --> 00:17:34,700 DESKS. 589 00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:35,300 WHAT DOES THIS DO? 590 00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:37,333 >> Sec. Buttigieg: PLEASE 591 00:17:37,333 --> 00:17:37,867 DON'T TOUCH THIS. 592 00:17:37,867 --> 00:17:38,567 >> Desi: THIS? 593 00:17:38,567 --> 00:17:40,767 >> Sec. Buttigieg: REALLY ANY 594 00:17:40,767 --> 00:17:41,433 OF THAT. 595 00:17:41,433 --> 00:17:44,167 >> Desi: HELLO, OPERATOR? 596 00:17:44,167 --> 00:17:46,133 HOW DO I TURN THIS ON? 597 00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:47,233 >> Sec. Buttigieg: AGAIN, 598 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:47,867 PLEASE DON'T TOUCH THAT. 599 00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,233 >> Desi: WHAT ARE YOU DOING 600 00:17:49,233 --> 00:17:50,100 OVER HERE? 601 00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:51,433 >> WORKING, MAMA. 602 00:17:51,433 --> 00:17:54,233 >> Desi: CAN I BORROW YOUR 603 00:17:54,233 --> 00:17:54,900 BADGE? 604 00:17:54,900 --> 00:17:55,333 JUST QUICK. 605 00:17:55,333 --> 00:17:57,433 I WILL GIVE IT BACK. 606 00:17:57,433 --> 00:17:59,333 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 607 00:17:59,333 --> 00:18:00,133 >> Desi: STAY TUNED, BECAUSE 608 00:18:00,133 --> 00:18:01,400 WHEN WE COME BACK, 609 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:02,633 YVETTE NICOLE BROWN WILL BE 610 00:18:02,633 --> 00:18:04,567 JOINING ME ON THE SHOW. 611 00:18:04,567 --> 00:18:05,100 SO DON'T GO AWAY. 612 00:18:05,100 --> 00:18:12,900 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 613 00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:23,567 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 614 00:18:23,567 --> 00:18:24,833 >> Desi: WELCOME BACK TO 615 00:18:24,833 --> 00:18:25,800 "THE DAILY SHOW." 616 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,200 MY GUEST TONIGHT IS AN 617 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,367 EMMY-NOMINATED ACTOR WHOSE NEW 618 00:18:29,367 --> 00:18:30,067 APPLE TV PLUS SHOW IS CALLED 619 00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:31,200 "FROG AND TOAD." 620 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,433 >> HELLO, TOAD. 621 00:18:33,433 --> 00:18:35,700 >> RABBIT. 622 00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:37,300 THIS IS A DELICIOUS SMELLING 623 00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:39,200 CAKE YOU HAVE RIGHT HERE AND YOU 624 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:39,967 MIGHT NEED SOMEONE TO TRY IT FOR 625 00:18:39,967 --> 00:18:41,767 YOU. 626 00:18:41,767 --> 00:18:43,700 VERY IMPORTANT TO MAKE SURE A 627 00:18:43,700 --> 00:18:44,467 CAKE LIKE THIS TASTES AS GOOD AS 628 00:18:44,467 --> 00:18:45,467 IT SMELLS. 629 00:18:45,467 --> 00:18:47,067 >> OH, I WOULD LOVE TO GIVE YOU 630 00:18:47,067 --> 00:18:48,067 A TASTE, TOAD. 631 00:18:48,067 --> 00:18:49,067 BUT THIS CAKE WAS BAKED FOR A 632 00:18:49,067 --> 00:18:50,933 VERY SPECIAL DAY. 633 00:18:50,933 --> 00:18:54,067 >> VERY SPECIAL DAY? 634 00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:56,933 WHAT VERY SPECIAL DAY IS IT FOR? 635 00:18:56,933 --> 00:18:59,600 >> TUESDAY. 636 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:00,300 >> TUESDAY IS TOMORROW. 637 00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:01,333 >> YES. 638 00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:04,200 AND YOU ARE WELCOME TO COME BACK 639 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:04,867 AND HAVE A PIECE THEN. 640 00:19:04,867 --> 00:19:06,133 >> Desi: [LAUGHS] 641 00:19:06,133 --> 00:19:06,833 PLEASE WELCOME 642 00:19:06,833 --> 00:19:10,200 YVETTE NICOLE BROWN! 643 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,067 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 644 00:19:13,067 --> 00:19:18,933 * 645 00:19:18,933 --> 00:19:29,400 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 646 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,500 >> WELL, WELL, WELL. 647 00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:37,200 >> Desi: YES. 648 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,800 >> I FEEL WE NEED TO DO THAT 649 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:40,600 VIDEO SAYING "LOOK AT US." 650 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:41,500 WOULD YOU HAVE EVER THOUGHT? 651 00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:42,567 >> Desi: LOOK AT US. 652 00:19:42,567 --> 00:19:43,700 YOU, YVETTE, YOU HAVE AN 653 00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:46,300 INCREDIBLE QUALITY OF 654 00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:48,700 WALKING INTO A ROOM AND LIGHTING 655 00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:50,900 THE PLACE UP. 656 00:19:50,900 --> 00:19:51,667 >> HONEY! 657 00:19:51,667 --> 00:19:52,167 >> Desi: YOU DO! 658 00:19:52,167 --> 00:19:52,767 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 659 00:19:52,767 --> 00:19:53,433 >> Desi: YOU BRING SO MUCH 660 00:19:53,433 --> 00:19:54,200 WARMTH AND JOY. 661 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:54,767 WHAT IS YOUR SECRET? 662 00:19:54,767 --> 00:19:55,467 IS IT NOT READING THE NEWS? 663 00:19:55,467 --> 00:19:56,733 >> [LAUGHS] 664 00:19:56,733 --> 00:19:59,533 >> Desi: IS IT PILLS, 665 00:19:59,533 --> 00:20:01,800 EDIBLES, HOW DO I GET IN ON 666 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:02,167 THIS? 667 00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:04,267 >> IT IS LEGAL IN CALIFORNIA. 668 00:20:04,267 --> 00:20:06,433 I'M DETERMINED TO LET NOT WHAT 669 00:20:06,433 --> 00:20:07,333 WHAT HAPPENS IN THE WORLD NOT 670 00:20:07,333 --> 00:20:08,033 DESTROY ME. 671 00:20:08,033 --> 00:20:09,700 I DON'T WANT TO BE THE PROBLEM. 672 00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:12,100 I'M TRYING TO MAKE THINGS A 673 00:20:12,100 --> 00:20:12,667 LITTLE BIT BETTER. 674 00:20:12,667 --> 00:20:14,533 IT'S TOUGH OUT THERE. 675 00:20:14,533 --> 00:20:14,967 Y'ALL KNOW. 676 00:20:14,967 --> 00:20:15,700 >> Desi: [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 677 00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:16,233 OH, WILL BE NO. 678 00:20:16,233 --> 00:20:20,933 THAT IS KIND OF WHAT YOUR SHOW 679 00:20:20,933 --> 00:20:21,333 IS ABOUT. 680 00:20:21,333 --> 00:20:22,300 "FROG AND TOAD" IS ALL ABOUT 681 00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:23,500 CELEBRATING EACH OTHERS 682 00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:24,267 DIFFERENCES, WHICH FEELS LIKE 683 00:20:24,267 --> 00:20:25,867 SOMETHING THAT IS VERY NEEDED 684 00:20:25,867 --> 00:20:26,800 RIGHT NOW. 685 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,633 >> YEAH, WE ARE IN A TOUGH TIME 686 00:20:28,633 --> 00:20:29,500 AS A NATION. 687 00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:30,833 LISTEN, IF YOU GUYS FOLLOW ME ON 688 00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:32,467 TWITTER, I'M NO LONGER VERIFIED, 689 00:20:32,467 --> 00:20:33,667 BUT IT'S ME. 690 00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:36,767 AND IF YOU DON'T, YOU SHOULD, BS 691 00:20:36,767 --> 00:20:37,167 FANTASTIC. 692 00:20:37,167 --> 00:20:38,100 >> I LIKE TO THROW ELBOWS. 693 00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:39,733 IT IS IMPORTANT WHEN YOU HAVE A 694 00:20:39,733 --> 00:20:41,533 PLATFORM, TO USE IT FOR GOOD. 695 00:20:41,533 --> 00:20:42,467 IT'S IMPORTANT TO REMIND PEOPLE 696 00:20:42,467 --> 00:20:43,933 THAT IT'S OKAY TO BE DIFFERENT, 697 00:20:43,933 --> 00:20:45,500 JUST LIKE FROG AND TOAD SAID, 698 00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:48,633 BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A JERK 699 00:20:48,633 --> 00:20:49,033 ABOUT IT. 700 00:20:49,033 --> 00:20:50,300 >> Desi: THAT'S RIGHT. 701 00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:50,900 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 702 00:20:50,900 --> 00:20:52,467 SO YOU ARE SAYING THAT THERE IS 703 00:20:52,467 --> 00:20:54,367 A POSSIBILITY THAT THIS SHOW 704 00:20:54,367 --> 00:20:55,767 ISN'T JUST FOR CHILDREN. 705 00:20:55,767 --> 00:20:56,300 >> OH, ABSOLUTELY. 706 00:20:56,300 --> 00:20:58,200 THIS IS WHAT I LOVE ABOUT 707 00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,367 APPLE TV PLACE IN GENERAL, I DO 708 00:20:59,367 --> 00:21:01,967 ANOTHER SHOW ON THERE CALLED 709 00:21:01,967 --> 00:21:03,600 "SHAPE ISLAND," THEY HAVE THE 710 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:04,367 SHOWS THAT ARE ANIMATED THAT 711 00:21:04,367 --> 00:21:05,767 LOOK LIKE THEY ARE JUST FOR KIDS 712 00:21:05,767 --> 00:21:06,967 AND THEY WORK PERFECTLY FOR KIDS 713 00:21:06,967 --> 00:21:07,867 BUT THIS IS A TIDBIT THAT IS 714 00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:09,667 SOMETHING THAT YOU CAN LEARN 715 00:21:09,667 --> 00:21:10,633 FROM TOO. 716 00:21:10,633 --> 00:21:11,833 "FROG AND TOAD" IS LIKE THAT -- 717 00:21:11,833 --> 00:21:12,933 WHO IS OLD LIKE ME? 718 00:21:12,933 --> 00:21:15,467 WHO READ THE BOOKS WHEN THEY ARE 719 00:21:15,467 --> 00:21:15,833 BABIES? 720 00:21:15,833 --> 00:21:16,433 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 721 00:21:16,433 --> 00:21:16,767 YEAH. 722 00:21:16,767 --> 00:21:18,200 SO THIS WAS A BOOK SERIES THAT 723 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:18,900 TAUGHT ME HOW TO READ. 724 00:21:18,900 --> 00:21:20,067 ONE OF THE BOOK SERIES I READ 725 00:21:20,067 --> 00:21:21,467 WHAT I WAS A KID, IT TAUGHT ME 726 00:21:21,467 --> 00:21:21,900 HOW TO READ. 727 00:21:21,900 --> 00:21:22,900 IT IS GOOD FOR THAT. 728 00:21:22,900 --> 00:21:33,667 I KNOW IT MAY BE BANNED 729 00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:34,067 SOMEWHERE. 730 00:21:34,067 --> 00:21:34,767 >> Desi: FLORIDA AND TEXAS. 731 00:21:34,767 --> 00:21:35,500 >> DIFFERENCES MAKE US SPECIAL 732 00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:36,467 AND THEY DON'T HAVE TO PULL US 733 00:21:36,467 --> 00:21:36,800 APART. 734 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,733 >> Desi: I FEEL LIKE IT IS A 735 00:21:38,733 --> 00:21:40,400 VERY GOOD SERIES FOR GROWN MEN 736 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:40,800 TO WATCH. 737 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,267 >> GROWN MEN, REPUBLICAN MAY BE. 738 00:21:43,267 --> 00:21:44,900 >> Desi: WATCHING HEALTHY MALE 739 00:21:44,900 --> 00:21:45,367 RELATIONSHIPS. 740 00:21:45,367 --> 00:21:48,067 >> DOESN'T HAVE TO BE ANGER AND 741 00:21:48,067 --> 00:21:48,867 GUNPLAY. 742 00:21:48,867 --> 00:21:50,600 >> Desi: MY SON IS SEVEN YEARS 743 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,333 OLD AND HE IS A HUGE FAN OF THE 744 00:21:52,333 --> 00:21:52,767 BOOK SERIES. 745 00:21:52,767 --> 00:21:54,667 IT IS ONE OF THE FIRST BOOKS 746 00:21:54,667 --> 00:21:56,433 THAT HE ACTUALLY READ. 747 00:21:56,433 --> 00:21:58,700 HE ASKED -- HE WROTE A QUESTION. 748 00:21:58,700 --> 00:21:59,100 >> FOR ME? 749 00:21:59,100 --> 00:22:00,933 >> Desi: IT IS A QUESTION 750 00:22:00,933 --> 00:22:04,500 ABOUT "FROG AND TOAD." 751 00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:06,967 "FROG AND TOAD," GAY? 752 00:22:06,967 --> 00:22:07,900 [LAUGHTER] 753 00:22:07,900 --> 00:22:09,100 HE ASKED ED. 754 00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:10,533 HE ASKED FOR. 755 00:22:10,533 --> 00:22:11,100 >> LISTEN, PERHAPS. 756 00:22:11,100 --> 00:22:13,933 IT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME WHEN THE 757 00:22:13,933 --> 00:22:15,433 BOOKS WERE WRITTEN AND WE FOUND 758 00:22:15,433 --> 00:22:16,367 OUT LATER THAT IT WAS HIS WAY OF 759 00:22:16,367 --> 00:22:17,133 WORKING THROUGH SOME THINGS THAT 760 00:22:17,133 --> 00:22:18,533 HE WAS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHEN 761 00:22:18,533 --> 00:22:20,300 THE WORLD THAT HE COULDN'T BE 762 00:22:20,300 --> 00:22:22,267 WHO YOU WANTED TO BE, HE WROTE 763 00:22:22,267 --> 00:22:23,133 "FROG AND TOAD" SO HE COULD 764 00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:25,667 EXPERIENCE AND SHOW LOVE BY THEL 765 00:22:25,667 --> 00:22:26,433 LIFE. 766 00:22:26,433 --> 00:22:28,500 IT WORKS AS A FRIENDSHIP, AND IT 767 00:22:28,500 --> 00:22:31,067 ALSO WORKS AS A TENDER LOVE 768 00:22:31,067 --> 00:22:31,667 STORY WITH AMPHIBIANS. 769 00:22:31,667 --> 00:22:32,900 >> Desi: THAT'S RIGHT! 770 00:22:32,900 --> 00:22:33,567 UP TO THE VIEWER. 771 00:22:33,567 --> 00:22:34,167 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 772 00:22:34,167 --> 00:22:34,967 YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED. 773 00:22:34,967 --> 00:22:37,700 >> GET WHAT YOU NEED OUT OF IT. 774 00:22:37,700 --> 00:22:38,567 >> Desi: ROOM FOR US ALL. 775 00:22:38,567 --> 00:22:40,767 >> DO YOU WANT TO TELL EVERYBODY 776 00:22:40,767 --> 00:22:41,600 HOW WE KNOW EACH OTHER? 777 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:42,933 >> Desi: WE DO KNOW EACH 778 00:22:42,933 --> 00:22:43,267 OTHER. 779 00:22:43,267 --> 00:22:45,533 WE WORKED TOGETHER, SEVERAL 780 00:22:45,533 --> 00:22:45,933 YEARS AGO. 781 00:22:45,933 --> 00:22:47,467 >> BEFORE THAT BABY. 782 00:22:47,467 --> 00:22:48,633 SEVEN OR EIGHT YEARS AGO. 783 00:22:48,633 --> 00:22:50,100 >> Desi: A WHOLE OTHER 784 00:22:50,100 --> 00:22:50,800 LIFETIME. 785 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:51,767 WE WORKED TOGETHER ON A SHOW 786 00:22:51,767 --> 00:22:54,600 CALLED "THE ODD COUPLE." 787 00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:55,133 NOT THE ORIGINAL. 788 00:22:55,133 --> 00:22:55,800 WE ARE NOT THAT OLD. 789 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:58,567 >> WE ARE NOT THAT OLD, GUYS. 790 00:22:58,567 --> 00:22:59,233 THE REBOOT. 791 00:22:59,233 --> 00:23:00,067 >> Desi: THE REBOOT. 792 00:23:00,067 --> 00:23:01,533 YOU ARE SO FUNNY ON THE SHOW. 793 00:23:01,533 --> 00:23:04,333 >> THIS IS YOUR MOMENT. 794 00:23:04,333 --> 00:23:06,467 YOU ARE SO FUNNY ON THE SHOW. 795 00:23:06,467 --> 00:23:07,767 >> Desi: I PLAYED A MANIAC. 796 00:23:07,767 --> 00:23:08,233 REALLY TRACKS. 797 00:23:08,233 --> 00:23:09,700 >> A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE FIVE 798 00:23:09,700 --> 00:23:10,467 LINES BUT THEY DON'T TRY IN THE 799 00:23:10,467 --> 00:23:12,100 WAY SHINE. 800 00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:14,100 THEN YOU CAME TO 801 00:23:14,100 --> 00:23:15,133 "THE DAILY SHOW," AND YOU HAVE 802 00:23:15,133 --> 00:23:16,467 BEEN AMAZING, AND I AM SO HAPPY 803 00:23:16,467 --> 00:23:18,100 I GET TO BE HERE WITH YOU AND 804 00:23:18,100 --> 00:23:19,067 GET TO CELEBRATE THIS NEW MOMENT 805 00:23:19,067 --> 00:23:21,833 FOR YOU ON THE SHOW, YOU ARE SO 806 00:23:21,833 --> 00:23:22,467 TEDIOUS, AND I ADORE YOU. 807 00:23:22,667 --> 00:23:26,100 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 808 00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:28,533 >> Desi: WORKING ON THAT 809 00:23:28,533 --> 00:23:29,733 PROJECT, YOU KNOW, THAT WAS A 810 00:23:29,733 --> 00:23:31,167 SERIES REGULAR ON THE SHOW, AND 811 00:23:31,167 --> 00:23:32,933 WHEN YOU WALK IN AS A GUEST 812 00:23:32,933 --> 00:23:35,133 STAR, YOU DON'T KNOW ANYONE, YOO 813 00:23:35,133 --> 00:23:36,700 PUT YOUR HANDS, YOU DON'T KNOW 814 00:23:36,700 --> 00:23:37,267 WHERE TO EAT LUNCH. 815 00:23:37,267 --> 00:23:38,600 I KNEW TOOK ME UNDER YOUR WING. 816 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:41,667 YOU INTRODUCED ME TO EVERYBODY, 817 00:23:41,667 --> 00:23:42,867 MAJOR I HAD SOMEONE TO SIT AND 818 00:23:42,867 --> 00:23:44,633 EAT WITH AND I WILL NEVER 819 00:23:44,633 --> 00:23:45,867 FORGET THAT. 820 00:23:45,867 --> 00:23:48,067 >> IT WAS MY PLEASURE. 821 00:23:48,067 --> 00:23:48,400 [APPLAUSE] 822 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:49,667 THIS IS THE THING, WHEN YOU COME 823 00:23:49,667 --> 00:23:51,567 ON THE SHOW, IT IS YOUR HOME. 824 00:23:51,567 --> 00:23:52,733 SOMEONE IS COMING INTO YOUR 825 00:23:52,733 --> 00:23:53,067 HOUSE. 826 00:23:53,067 --> 00:23:54,200 YOU WOULDN'T LET SOMEONE INTO 827 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:55,467 YOUR HOUSE WITHOUT TELLING THEM 828 00:23:55,467 --> 00:23:57,667 WHERE THE BATHROOM IS, SHE CAME 829 00:23:57,667 --> 00:23:58,667 TO MY DOCTOR DRESSING ROOM, GOT 830 00:23:58,667 --> 00:24:00,600 ME SOME DOUBLE STEAK TAPE SO 831 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:02,133 I DON'T GET OUT OF MY SHIRT. 832 00:24:02,133 --> 00:24:04,067 IT IS MY PLEASURE, BABY. 833 00:24:04,067 --> 00:24:05,600 >> I APPRECIATE THAT. 834 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,167 YOU ARE NOT JUST ON 835 00:24:07,167 --> 00:24:07,900 "FROG AND TOAD." 836 00:24:07,900 --> 00:24:08,633 YOU ARE IN EVERYTHING WHAT YOU 837 00:24:08,633 --> 00:24:11,067 ARE ALSO IN ONE OF MY NEW 838 00:24:11,067 --> 00:24:13,067 FAVORITE SHOWS CALLED THE 839 00:24:13,067 --> 00:24:13,900 "ACT YOUR AGE." 840 00:24:13,900 --> 00:24:17,367 YOU GUYS GOT TO SEE IT. 841 00:24:17,367 --> 00:24:18,533 YOU NEED TO WATCH THIS SHOW! 842 00:24:18,533 --> 00:24:21,500 >> LISTEN, GUYS, ANYBODY HEARD 843 00:24:21,500 --> 00:24:22,333 "THE GOLDEN GIRLS?" 844 00:24:22,333 --> 00:24:23,133 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 845 00:24:23,133 --> 00:24:26,867 AT YOUNG PEOPLE, DON'T DO THAT. 846 00:24:26,867 --> 00:24:28,067 OUR SHOW IS CALLED 847 00:24:28,067 --> 00:24:29,067 "ACT YOUR AGE" AND IT IS 848 00:24:29,067 --> 00:24:30,533 LITERALLY LIKE A GOLDEN BROWN 849 00:24:30,533 --> 00:24:31,267 GIRLS. 850 00:24:31,267 --> 00:24:32,933 IMAGINE WOMEN OF A CERTAIN AGE, 851 00:24:32,933 --> 00:24:33,800 A LITTLE MORE MELON INCOME BUT 852 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:34,067 IS 853 00:24:34,233 --> 00:24:37,367 NOT JUST FOR US. 854 00:24:37,367 --> 00:24:39,767 MEN, WOMEN COME OLD, YOUNG. 855 00:24:39,767 --> 00:24:42,933 WHEN I WAS 12 WATCHING "THE 856 00:24:42,933 --> 00:24:45,067 GOLDEN GIRLS," I WAS NOT A WHITE 857 00:24:45,067 --> 00:24:45,767 RETIREE FROM FLORIDA BUT I STILL 858 00:24:45,767 --> 00:24:50,267 SAW THE HUMANITY, BUT YOU WILL 859 00:24:50,267 --> 00:24:51,367 SEE THIS IN "ACT YOUR AGE." 860 00:24:51,367 --> 00:24:52,933 >> Desi: IT IS YOU, KIM 861 00:24:52,933 --> 00:24:53,667 WHITLEY, ALL THREE OF YOU ARE 862 00:24:53,667 --> 00:24:55,633 LEADS ON THE SHOW, YOU HAVE 863 00:24:55,633 --> 00:24:57,933 GREAT STORY LINES, IT IS SO 864 00:24:57,933 --> 00:24:58,267 FUNNY. 865 00:24:58,267 --> 00:24:59,233 AND THEY ARE YOUR FRIENDS, 866 00:24:59,233 --> 00:24:59,867 RIGHT? 867 00:24:59,867 --> 00:25:01,867 >> YOU GUYS WATCH "MARTIN," 868 00:25:01,867 --> 00:25:04,067 YOU'VE SEEN "MY WIFE AND KIDS," 869 00:25:04,067 --> 00:25:05,267 AND KIM IS A COMEDIAN THAT HAS 870 00:25:05,267 --> 00:25:06,067 BEEN ON EVERYTHING. 871 00:25:06,067 --> 00:25:07,300 THIS IS THE FIRST TIME WE GOT TO 872 00:25:07,300 --> 00:25:08,400 LEAD A SHOW BECAUSE BLACK 873 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:10,067 ACTRESSES ARE ALWAYS LIKE THE 874 00:25:10,067 --> 00:25:11,900 METER MAID, THE BEST FRIEND, THE 875 00:25:11,900 --> 00:25:13,133 OFFICE ASSISTANT, AND THIS TIME 876 00:25:13,133 --> 00:25:14,467 IT IS OUR STORIES AND WE ARE 877 00:25:14,467 --> 00:25:16,400 DRIVING EVERY EPISODE AND IT HAS 878 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:17,100 BEEN AN AMAZING EXPERIENCE. 879 00:25:17,100 --> 00:25:20,067 >> Desi: AND IT IS A HIGHLY 880 00:25:20,067 --> 00:25:22,467 RATED SHOW ON BALANCE! 881 00:25:22,467 --> 00:25:24,167 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 882 00:25:24,167 --> 00:25:25,500 >> THE HIGHEST-RATED DEBUT ON 883 00:25:25,500 --> 00:25:25,900 HISTORY. 884 00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:27,167 WE TOOK A LITTLE BREAK BECAUSE 885 00:25:27,167 --> 00:25:28,367 THAT THERE WAS APPARENTLY 886 00:25:28,367 --> 00:25:29,167 SOMETHING CALLED NBA AND PEOPLE 887 00:25:29,167 --> 00:25:32,067 ARE PLAYING GAMES. 888 00:25:32,067 --> 00:25:33,067 NEVER HEARD OF IT. 889 00:25:33,067 --> 00:25:34,133 I DON'T DO IT. 890 00:25:34,133 --> 00:25:34,867 I DON'T LIKE FOOTBALL EITHER. 891 00:25:34,867 --> 00:25:36,933 I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. 892 00:25:36,933 --> 00:25:37,900 WE'LL BE BACK IN JUNE AND WE 893 00:25:37,900 --> 00:25:38,900 WILL HAVE NINE MORE NEW 894 00:25:38,900 --> 00:25:39,467 EPISODES. 895 00:25:39,467 --> 00:25:41,733 YOU HAVE TIME TO CATCH UP, YOU 896 00:25:41,733 --> 00:25:43,800 GUYS, BOUNCE TV, PLEASE WATCH 897 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:44,100 US. 898 00:25:44,100 --> 00:25:44,700 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 899 00:25:44,700 --> 00:25:45,433 >> Desi: I HAVE TO ASK YOU -- 900 00:25:45,433 --> 00:25:47,733 YES, PLEASE WATCH IT. 901 00:25:47,733 --> 00:25:49,700 I GOT TO ASK YOU A POLITICAL 902 00:25:49,700 --> 00:25:50,300 QUESTION. 903 00:25:50,300 --> 00:25:50,867 >> PLEASE. 904 00:25:50,867 --> 00:25:52,600 >> Desi: YOU ARE VERY 905 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,500 OUTSPOKEN, AN OUTSPOKEN 906 00:25:54,500 --> 00:25:55,500 DEMOCRAT, YOU SUPPORTED BIDEN. 907 00:25:55,500 --> 00:25:56,333 BIDEN JUST ANNOUNCED. 908 00:25:56,333 --> 00:25:59,700 ARE YOU BOOKING HOTEL ROOMS IN 909 00:25:59,700 --> 00:26:00,233 NEW HAMPSHIRE? 910 00:26:00,233 --> 00:26:00,667 >> [LAUGHS] 911 00:26:00,667 --> 00:26:01,467 THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO SAY ABOUT 912 00:26:01,467 --> 00:26:03,600 THE SITUATION. 913 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:04,533 WE HAVE A GREAT PRESIDENT WHO 914 00:26:04,533 --> 00:26:06,900 HAS DONE A LOT FOR US. 915 00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:08,067 IF WE HAD THE SENATE AND THE 916 00:26:08,067 --> 00:26:09,600 HOUSE, HE COULD HAVE DONE EVEN 917 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:09,933 MORE. 918 00:26:09,933 --> 00:26:11,067 SO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO RIGHT NOW 919 00:26:11,067 --> 00:26:12,267 INSTEAD OF WORRYING ABOUT, 920 00:26:12,267 --> 00:26:14,133 SHOULD HE BE RUNNING, WHY IS HE 921 00:26:14,133 --> 00:26:14,967 RUNNING, JUST GET PEOPLE 922 00:26:14,967 --> 00:26:16,167 REGISTERED AND VOTE FOR AS MANY 923 00:26:16,167 --> 00:26:17,433 DEMOCRATS AS YOU CAN. 924 00:26:17,433 --> 00:26:18,600 WE'VE ALREADY LOST THE RIGHT TO 925 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:18,967 CHOOSE. 926 00:26:18,967 --> 00:26:20,300 BUT CAN'T READ BOOKS, LIBRARIES 927 00:26:20,300 --> 00:26:21,633 ARE BEING DEFUNDED, THEY ARE 928 00:26:21,633 --> 00:26:22,800 DOING A LOT OF CRAZY THINGS TO 929 00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,367 MAKE LIFE HARDER FOR ALL OF US. 930 00:26:24,367 --> 00:26:26,600 IF YOU ARE A MEMBER THIS, THE 931 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:27,333 INFRASTRUCTURE BILL THAT BIDEN 932 00:26:27,333 --> 00:26:28,400 HAS COME ALL OF THEM VOTED 933 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:29,233 AGAINST IT. 934 00:26:29,233 --> 00:26:30,600 EVERYTHING THEY NEED A BREAK OR 935 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:31,333 SOMETHING, THEY ARE TAKING THE 936 00:26:31,333 --> 00:26:31,667 MONEY. 937 00:26:31,667 --> 00:26:33,067 UNDERSTAND THAT THEY SAY ONE 938 00:26:33,067 --> 00:26:34,233 THING AND DO ANOTHER. 939 00:26:34,233 --> 00:26:36,567 BIDEN IS OUR GUY, STAY BEHIND 940 00:26:36,567 --> 00:26:39,067 HIM, LET'S GO! 941 00:26:39,067 --> 00:26:41,133 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 942 00:26:41,133 --> 00:26:43,333 >> Desi: WHEN ARE YOU READY 943 00:26:43,333 --> 00:26:44,167 FOR PRESIDENT? 944 00:26:44,167 --> 00:26:44,933 >> NO! 945 00:26:44,933 --> 00:26:46,367 YOU KNOW WHAT IS SO FUNNY, DESI, 946 00:26:46,367 --> 00:26:49,933 BE REALLY SMART TO BE PRESIDENT. 947 00:26:49,933 --> 00:26:51,867 >> Desi: THERE ARE NO RULES 948 00:26:51,867 --> 00:26:52,233 ANYMORE. 949 00:26:52,233 --> 00:26:54,333 >> I USED TO FEEL LIKE I WASN'T 950 00:26:54,333 --> 00:26:55,067 WORTHY OF IT. 951 00:26:55,067 --> 00:26:56,933 I GREW UP -- JIMMY CARTER WAS MY 952 00:26:56,933 --> 00:26:57,667 FIRST PRESIDENT SO I GREW UP 953 00:26:57,667 --> 00:26:59,200 UNDER THAT LEVEL OF DECENCY AND 954 00:26:59,200 --> 00:26:59,667 KINDNESS. 955 00:26:59,667 --> 00:27:02,067 SO THE IDEA THAT SOMEONE LIKE 956 00:27:02,067 --> 00:27:03,900 DONALD TRUMP COULD BECOME 957 00:27:03,900 --> 00:27:06,067 PRESIDENT JUST -- SO I WOULD 958 00:27:06,067 --> 00:27:08,067 NEVER SAY NEVER, BECAUSE I NOW 959 00:27:08,067 --> 00:27:09,167 KNOW THAT WE NEED DECENCY IN 960 00:27:09,167 --> 00:27:11,067 THEIR MORE THAN WE NEED MAY BE 961 00:27:11,067 --> 00:27:12,433 THE SMARTEST PERSON, BUT CAN'T 962 00:27:12,433 --> 00:27:13,133 IT BE GREAT IF YOU DO BOTH? 963 00:27:13,133 --> 00:27:16,100 I THINK I HAVE A LOT LITTLE BIT 964 00:27:16,100 --> 00:27:16,700 OF THAT. 965 00:27:16,700 --> 00:27:18,333 >> Desi: IF YOU DECIDE TO COME 966 00:27:18,333 --> 00:27:19,867 YOU'LL COME BACK ON THE SHOW? 967 00:27:19,867 --> 00:27:21,600 >> ABSOLUTELY, I WILL ANNOUNCE 968 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:21,967 IT HERE. 969 00:27:21,967 --> 00:27:24,967 >> Desi: YES! 970 00:27:24,967 --> 00:27:26,900 "FROG AND TOAD" PREMIERS 971 00:27:26,900 --> 00:27:27,533 APRIL 28TH ON APPLE TV+. 972 00:27:27,533 --> 00:27:28,800 WE ARE GOING TO TAKE A QUICK 973 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:29,900 BREAK BUT WE'LL BE BACK RIGHT 974 00:27:29,900 --> 00:27:32,267 AFTER THIS! 975 00:27:32,267 --> 00:27:33,233 YVETTE NICOLE BROWN! 976 00:27:43,100 --> 00:27:47,267 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 977 00:27:47,267 --> 00:27:48,167 >> Desi: THAT'S OUR SHOW FOR 978 00:27:48,167 --> 00:27:50,600 TONIGHT, BUT BEFORE WE GO: 979 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:51,633 PLEASE CONSIDER SUPPORTING 980 00:27:51,633 --> 00:27:56,700 THE BRIGID ALLIANCE. 981 00:27:56,700 --> 00:28:00,900 THEY PROVIDE TRAVEL, LODGING, 982 00:28:00,900 --> 00:28:01,967 AND SUPPORT AND OTHER LOGISTICAL 983 00:28:01,967 --> 00:28:03,467 SUPPORT FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED 984 00:28:03,467 --> 00:28:04,233 ABORTIONS. 985 00:28:04,233 --> 00:28:06,367 IF YOU CAN, PLEASE DONATE AT THE 986 00:28:06,367 --> 00:28:06,833 LINK BELOW. 987 00:28:06,833 --> 00:28:08,233 NOW HERE IT IS, YOU'RE A 988 00:28:08,233 --> 00:28:08,867 "MOMENT OF ZEN." 989 00:28:08,867 --> 00:28:11,300 >> WE HAVE BREAKING NEWS RIGHT 990 00:28:11,300 --> 00:28:11,767 NOW. 991 00:28:11,767 --> 00:28:12,233 BREAKING NEWS. 992 00:28:12,233 --> 00:28:13,533 AARON RODGERS HAS OFFICIALLY 993 00:28:13,533 --> 00:28:14,467 BEEN TRADED TO THE 994 00:28:14,467 --> 00:28:14,933 NEW YORK JETS. 995 00:28:14,933 --> 00:28:16,267 THE JETS ARE SAVING THEIR 996 00:28:16,267 --> 00:28:17,967 FIRST-ROUND PICK THIS YEAR, 997 00:28:17,967 --> 00:28:19,167 THEIR SECOND-ROUND PICK THIS 998 00:28:19,167 --> 00:28:19,533 YEAR -- 999 00:28:19,533 --> 00:28:21,267 >> I TOLD YOU! 1000 00:28:21,267 --> 00:28:21,600 SORRY! 1001 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:22,067 >> HOLD ON! 1002 00:28:22,067 --> 00:28:22,833 HOLD ON!