*
>> Announcer: FROM
NEW YORK CITY, THE ONLY CITY IN
AMERICA, IT'S THE SHOW THAT
INVENTED NEWS.
THIS IS "THE DAILY SHOW" WITH
YOUR HOST, DULCE SLOAN!
*
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
*
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Dulce: HELLO, FRIENDS!
WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW!"
I'M DULCE SLOAN.
AND IT'S MY FIRST NIGHT, AND
I'LL BE HONEST WITH Y'ALL:
I'M NERVOUS...
THAT I MIGHT CRUSH THIS TOO
HARD!
OKAY!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
AND MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD
INCREDIBLY JEALOUS!
OH!
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
MY GUEST TONIGHT IS THE WINNER
OF SEASON 15 OF
"RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE":
SASHA COLBY IS HERE!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
BUT WE HAVE A LOT TO TALK ABOUT,
SO LET'S GET INTO HEADLINES!
*
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
LET'S KICK THINGS OFF WITH A BIG
SPORTS COMEBACK STORY.
AND I'M TALKING ABOUT A REAL
COMEBACK.
NONE OF THIS "WE WERE SHIT 20
YEARS STRAIGHT BUT
NOW WE ARE IN THE PLAYOFFS
BULLSHIT.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
CALL ME WHEN YOU GET A RING.
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE WOMAN WHO
CAME BACK FROM A RUSSIAN GULAG:
BRITTNEY GRINER.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THE WNBA STAR IS NOW SAYING THAT
AFTER WHAT HAPPENED IN RUSSIA,
SHE IS NEVER PLAYING OVERSEAS
AGAIN.
AND I FEEL YOU.
IF THAT SHIT HAPPENS TO ME,
FORGET OVERSEAS.
I WOULDN'T PLAY BASKETBALL
ANYWHERE.
NOT IN AMERICA, NOT IN MY
BACKYARD.
I WOULDN'T EVEN WATCH
BASKETBALL!
I WOULD BECOME THE FIRST BLACK
WOMAN TO WATCH HOCKEY.
I MEAN, REALLY.
THINK ABOUT WHAT SHE WENT
THROUGH.
SHE WENT TO RUSSIA TO PLAY
BASKETBALL AND SHE ENDED UP IN
JAIL!
STAYING OUT OF JAIL IS THE WHOLE
REASON BLACK PEOPLE STARTED
PLAYING BASKETBALL IN THE FIRST
PLACE.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF WE LIKE IT!
BOUNCING A BALL LIKE A CHILD,
RUNNING AROUND BACK AND FORTH.
OH, IT'S EXHAUSTING.
THAT EDGES EVEN SO MAKE A REAL
JOB.
AND I'M SUPPOSED TO WATCH THIS?
PLUS, THE SHORTS ARE WAY TOO
LONG NOW.
WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE
WILT CHAMBERLIN SHORTS?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
YOU KNOW, I'M TRYING TO SEE IF A
MAN IS CIRCUMCISED.
LOOK AT THE WHITE SHORTS.
YOU CAN SEE!
I UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU ARE
COMING FROM, BRITTNEY, AND I
KNOW PEOPLE ARE SAYING "HOW CAN
SHE NEVER TRAVEL AGAIN?"
AND THOSE PEOPLE ARE WHITE.
WHITE PEOPLE ALWAYS DO THIS.
A SHARK WILL BITE OFF THEIR
WHOLE ARM AND THEY WILL BE LIKE
"I'M GOING BACK IN THE OCEAN OR
THE SHARK WINS."
BITCH, THE SHARK ALREADY WON!
IT IS SWIMMING AROUND SLAPPING
OTHER SHARKS WITH YOUR ARM!
BUT LET'S MOVE ONTO ANOTHER
ACCOMPLISHED BLACK WOMAN.
CLEOPATRA!
AND DON'T TELL ME SHE WASN'T
BLACK.
I'M ALREADY HEARING ENOUGH OF
THAT FROM EGYPT.
>> WELL, THE FOLKS IN EGYPT ARE
ACCUSING NETFLIX OF
MISREPRESENTING HISTORY IN
NETFLIX'S NEW DOCUSERIES CALLED
"QUEEN CLEOPATRA."
>> YEAH, THE COUNTRY IS ACTUALLY
CRITICIZING THE DECISION TO CAST
A BLACK WOMAN TO PLAY THE TITLE
ROLE IN SERIES REENACTMENTS.
NETFLIX SAYS THE CASTING
DECISION WAS INTENDED TO
ACKNOWLEDGE THE CENTURIES LONG
CONVERSATION ABOUT THE RULER'S
RACE AND THE MULTICULTURAL
HISTORY OF EGYPT.
BUT OFFICIALS IN CAIRO ARE
CALLING IT A BLATANT HISTORICAL
FALLACY, CLAIMING THAT CLEOPATRA
WAS FAIR-SKINNED AND OF GREEK
DESCENT.
>> Dulce: OH, OKAY, EGYPT IS
CONCERNED ABOUT "HISTORICAL
ACCURACY."
I DIDN'T HEAR YOU COMPLAINING
WHEN ALL THEM MUMMY MOVIES CAME
OUT.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WE GOT MOMMIES COMING BACK FROM
THE
DEAD, CHASING BRENDAN FRASER,
Y'ALL DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM, THEN
A BLACK WOMAN PLAYS CLEOPATRA
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN IT IS
LIKE -- THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN, THAT
DIDN'T HAPPEN, NO.
THE MUMMY, THAT WAS REAL.
THIS, NO.
LIKE, WHAT OUR EGYPTIANS SO
AFRAID OF?
YOU THINK CLEO PATRICK IS GOING
TO TURN YOUR HISTORY INTO A
BLAXPLOITATION FILM?
YOU THINK SHE'S GOING TO BE
CRUISING DOWN THE NILE SAYING "
"THIS IS MY PYRAMID NOW, YOU
JIVE TURKEYS!"
YOU CAN HAVE CLEOPATRA BUT THEN
WE GET JESUS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
I MEAN, IT'S ONLY FAIR.
WE ALL KNOW JESUS WAS BLACK,
BECAUSE HE WAS FOUND GUILTY IN
COURT AND HE DID NOTHING WRONG!
AND SINCE WE ARE TALKING ABOUT
REPRESENTATION, LET'S TALK ABOUT
WHAT MERMAIDS REALLY LOOK LIKE.
AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT
MS. HALEY.
NO.
THERE IS A NEW CONTROVERSY ABOUT
A STATUE THAT SOME PEOPLE SAY IS
TOO DAMN SEXY.
I MEAN, LOOK AT THAT THING.
YOU GOT MERMAID
MERMAID THEE STALLION OVER HERE.
THIS IS THE FIRST STATUE
WHERE EVERY TIME YOU WALK UP TO
IT, IT PLAYS
"BODY-ODY-ODY-ODY..."
NOW LOOK, IF YOU WANT TO GIVE ME
A
MERMAID SOME BIG OL' TITTIES,
THAT'S FINE WITH ME.
WHERE IT GETS CONFUSING IS THAT
ASS.
COME ON.
WE ALL KNOW THAT FISH DON'T HAVE
AN ASS.
IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE THE
SCULPTOR FIGURED OUT TOO LATE
THAT HE COULDN'T DO LEGS.
HE MESSED 'EM UP SO BAD, HE HAD
TO PIVOT TO MERMAID ON THE FLY.
AND THAT'S NOT JUST ANY ASS,
THAT MERMAID IS WORKING WITH
CERTIFIED CAKE.
YOU HEAR ME?
I'M TALKING FULL BAKERIES.
EVEN SIR MIXALOT IS LIKE,
"YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS IS TOO
FAR."
IF YOU WANT TO SEE MORE OF THIS
YOUNG LADY, CHECK HER OUT ON
ONLYFINS.
[APPLAUSE]
SO THAT MERMAID STORY WAS FOR
THE MEN OUT THERE BUT I GOT A
LITTLE SOMETHING FOR THE LADIES.
>> YES, THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS
LIKE.
AN ICEBERG JUST OFF THE COST OF
HARBOR GRACE, NEWFOUNDLAND, WITH
A VERY PARTICULAR SHAPE.
>> I'VE PERFECTLY NEVER SEEN
ANYTHING LIKE IT.
FROM THE RIGHT ANGLE, IT APPEARS
TO REPLICATE CERTAIN BODY PARTS
FROM A MALE.
IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S, LIKE, 50
FEET TALL.
BY FAR, IT'S THE BIGGEST I'VE
SEEN.
>> IT DEFINITELY LOOKS LIKE WHAT
PEOPLE ARE SAYING, ALMOST A
LITTLE BIT TOO GRAPHIC.
>> IT'S A VERY LARGE MALE
MEMBER.
THERE'S NO MISTAKING THAT'S WHAT
IT LOOKS LIKE.
I'M NOT SURE IF WE CAN SAY THIS
ON THE AIR, BUT I'M GOING TO, IT
LOOKS LIKE A PENIS.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Dulce: SHE DIDN'T WANT TO
SAY IT BUT SHE DID!
NOW SEE, THAT'S THE REAL NORTH
BOWL RIGHT THERE.
IF THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
WHEN IT'S COLD, I WANT TO SEE IT
WHEN IT IS WARMED UP.
JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG HAS
A WHOLE NEW MEANING.
NOW LISTEN, I KNOW WHAT SOME OF
Y'ALL ARE THINKING.
BUT IF YOU STRETCH FIRST, YOU'LL
BE FINE.
NOW YOU SEE WHY WE CAN'T BE
MAKING THESE MERMAID STATUES.
THE EARTH GOT ONE LOOK AT THAT
MERMAID AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
AND FINALLY, WE ALL KNOW
SOCIAL MEDIA IS A BIG PART OF
OUR LIVES.
MANY OF US ARE WATCHING THIS ON
SOCIAL MEDIA RIGHT NOW.
THANK YOU.
FOLLOW ME.
BUT WE ALSO KNOW THAT
SOCIAL MEDIA CAN BE VERY
DESTRUCTIVE FOR YOUNG PEOPLE.
YOU KNOW, THE YOUTH.
BUT MAYBE NOT FOR LONG.
>> A BIPARTISAN TEAM OF SENATORS
ARE EYEING A SOCIAL MEDIA BAN
FOR KIDS 13 AND UNDER.
IT'S CALLED THE PROTECTING KIDS
ON SOCIAL MEDIA ACT, AND WOULD
SET A MINIMUM AGE TO USE APPS
LIKE INSTAGRAM, FACEBOOK, AND
TIKTOK.
>> THEIR BILL SETS AGE 13 AS THE
LEGAL MINIMUM FOR SOCIAL MEDIA
PLATFORMS, REQUIRING COMPANIES
TO CONDUCT MORE RIGOROUS
VERIFICATION.
TEENS UNDER 18 WOULD NEED
VERIFIED PARENTAL CONSENT TO
SIGN UP FOR AN ACCOUNT.
AND PLATFORMS WOULD BE
PROHIBITED FROM USING ALGORITHMS
TO TARGET CONTENT TO MINORS.
>> Dulce: YES!
GET THESE KIDS OFF SOCIAL MEDIA!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
AND NONE OF THIS BULLSHIT WHERE
THEY CAN GET THEIR PARENTS
PERMISSION.
THAT JUST MAKES THE
CYBERBULLYING WORSE.
BECAUSE NOW WHEN JESSICA CALLS
YOU A BITCH, YOU KNOW HER MOM
AND DAD SIGNED OFF ON IT.
THE WHOLE FAMILY IS COMING AFTER
YOUR ASS.
NEVERMORE, WE ARE JOINED BY ONE
OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE,
FRESH OFF HOSTING
THE WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS
DINNER, UNCLE ROY WOOD JR.!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> HELLO, DULCE.
>> Dulce: THANK YOU SO MUCH!
NOW YOU AGREE WITH ME, ROY, WE
GOT TO GET THESE KIDS OFF OF
SOCIAL MEDIA.
>> YOU CRAZY?
SOCIAL MEDIA NEEDS TO BE
MANDATORY FOR KIDS.
KEEP THEM DISTRACTED ON THEIR
PHONES.
I DON'T WANT THESE KIDS ON THE
STREET TO MY TALKING TO ME,
MAKING ME FEEL OLD.
YOU WALK PAST THESE KIDS AND
THEY START UP LAMENTING YOUR
SHOES BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE
STREET NAME OF THOSE ISSUES.
"I KNOW YOU GOT THE SCOOBY-DOO
GREEN GOBLETS."
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
DID YOU JUST ASKED ME FOR DRUGS?
JUST SAY NICE SNEAKERS.
GET THE HILL AWAY FOR ME.
I AIN'T ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS.
GO HOME.
BUY ONE OF THOSE TIDE PODS.
THEY WILL STILL LEAVE THE TIDE
PODS.
>> Dulce: LISTEN, I HEARD THEY
ARE DELICIOUS.
LISTEN, ROY, YOU HAVE A CHILD.
DO YOU WANT HIM ON SOCIAL MEDIA?
>> DAMN STRAIGHT I WANT HIM ON
SOCIAL MEDIA.
I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT HIS
FUTURE.
AFTER AI AND CHAT ChatGPT,
BEING AN INFLUENCE OR WILL BE
THE ONLY THING.
WHEN I CATCH MY KID DOING
GEOMETRY WORK, I SAY, GET IN
FRONT OF THE COMPUTER!
START SELLING THAT FLAT TUMMY
TEA.
INSTEAD OF BANNING KIDS FROM
SOCIAL MEDIA, THE PEOPLE YOU
REALLY GOT TO BAN IS ALL OF THEM
BOOTY MODELS.
THAT IS WHAT YOU GOT TO BE IN.
HOW MY SUPPOSED TO BE FAITHFUL
WHEN I AIN'T SEEN A WOMAN'S
FAITH FACE IN SIX MONTHS?
I SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO RECOGNIZE
A WOMAN BY HER BOOTY CRACK BUT I
CAN.
>> Dulce: THIS IS WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT.
WE ARE ALL TOO IMMATURE FOR
SOCIAL MEDIA, NOT JUST THE KIDS,
EVERYONE SHOULD BE BANNED.
DO YOU KNOW HOW PRODUCTIVE I
WOULD BE?
I'D BE OPRAH!
A BLACK WOMAN TELLING WHITE
WOMEN WHAT TO READ.
THE POWER!
IF YOU UNDERSTAND THAT IF I GET
THESE WHITE WOMEN TO READ THESE
BOOKS -- ROY, HI!
WE ARE WORKING!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> DID YOU KNOW MERMAIDS GOT ASS
NOW?
OH, MY GOD.
LOOK AT THIS STATUE!
I WILL SUPPORT HER CAREER.
I WILL FOLLOW HER REAL QUICK.
YOU NEED TO FOLLOW THESE
MERMAID'S.
>> Dulce: ROY WOOD JR.,
EVERYBODY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WE ARE GOING TO TAKE A BREAK.
BUT WHEN WE COME BACK,
I GO SURFING, FOR REAL!
YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS IT.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Dulce: WELCOME BACK TO
"THE DAILY SHOW."
THERE'S A LOT OF STEREOTYPES
ABOUT WHAT BLACK PEOPLE IN
AND WHAT WE DO AND DON'T DO.
BUT TONIGHT, I BREAK DOWN ONE OF
THOSE STEREOTYPES IN ANOTHER
EPISODE OF:
"WE DON'T DO THAT."
*
I AM SKEPTICAL, BUT APPARENTLY,
BLACK FOLKS HAVE BEEN SURFING
FOR AT LEAST 50 YEARS.
I'M GETTING WHAT SUITED UP AND
LETTING LOU HARRIS TEACH ME HOW
TO SURF IN QUEENS.
>> THIS IS A 9-FOOT, NOW THIS
WILL HELP YOU STICK TO IT.
>> Dulce: HE IS USING A LOT OF
WORDS FOR ONE LITTLE SURF OR.
I DON'T KNOW IF I WILL RENDER
ANY OF THIS.
>> WE WILL TEACH YOU THE POP UP
POP UP.
>> OKAY.
>> THE POP UP AS A PUSH-UP AND
THEN YOU JUMP TO YOUR FEET.
>> Dulce: PUSH-UP.
BUT I DO PUSH-UPS WITH MY KNEES.
LIKE THEY TAUGHT ME IN
HIGH SCHOOL.
>> SHOW THEM WHAT A PERFECT POP
UP IS.
LET'S DO IT.
>> Dulce: ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL
LEARNING.
>> PADDLE, PADDLE, POP UP.
>> Dulce: OKAY, DID YOU SEE
THAT AT ONE POINT ALL OF HER
BODY WAS IN THE AIR?
>> YES.
>> Dulce: YOU SHOW ME.
I NEED SOMEONE WHO WERE MEMBERS
THAT CLINTON ADMINISTRATION.
SO MAYBE HE REALLY DOES KNOW
WHAT HE IS DOING BUT I CAN'T
UNDERSTAND WHY.
WHO WOULD DO THIS ON PURPOSE?
>> THERE WAS A FIRE IN
CONEY ISLAND AND IT WAS STARTING
AT THE TIME 13 YEARS OLD, AND HE
LIT A MATCH ON FIRE IN THE
BASEMENT.
AND COINCIDENTALLY, THE POLICE
OFFICER WHO DIED FROM THAT FIRE,
HE WAS FROM ROCKAWAY.
WE HAD A FUNERAL HERE.
WHEN THE POLICE ASKED BECKETT
WHAT HE DID IT, HE SAID HE WAS
BORED.
>> THE THE WHOLE FIRE TO COME
JUST BECAUSE I WAS BORED, JUST
WANTED SOMETHING TO DO INSTEAD F
SITTING IN THE HALLWAY.
>> THAT REALLY TRIPPED ME OUT
AND I WAS THINKING, IF THIS KID
HAD AN ACTIVITY, THAT MAYBE THIS
OFFICER WOULD BE ALIVE.
SO I REACHED OUT TO CALIFORNIA
AND TOLD THEM ABOUT THE TRAGEDY.
AND THAT IS HOW IT STARTED.
JUST LIKE THAT.
>> Dulce: WHAT MADE YOU PICK
SURFING AS THE THING THAT THE
LITTLE BLACK CHILDREN SHOULD BE
DOING?
>> BECAUSE THEY DON'T DO IT
HERE.
NOT JUST BLACK KIDS, WHITE KIDS,
ASIAN, MUSLIM, GAY, STRAIGHT, I
DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE.
IF YOUR PARENT CAN TO AFFORD TO
SURFING LESSONS, I WILL TEACH
YOU FOR FREE.
>> Dulce: LOOK AT HIM RUNNING
HIS OWN UNITED NATIONS OF
SURFING.
>> ONE, TWO, THREE, PUSH UP.
THIS KNEE WILL COME FIRST.
>> Dulce: HERE?
>> EXACTLY.
NOW PREGNANT LEFT -- YES.
I DON'T CARE
HOW YOUR FEET LOOK.
>> Dulce: I DON'T -- I'M GOING
TO DROWN.
>> THERE IS NO TIME.
YOU WE ARE GOOD.
I GOT YOU.
>> Dulce: YOU CAN DIE IN
3 INCHES OF WATER.
>> I'VE BEEN SWIMMING FOR MY 45
YEARS.
I GOT YOU.
THIS IS MY BACKYARD.
I GOT YOU.
>> Dulce: YOU DIDN'T TAKE THE
OCEAN.
LIKE MOST BLACK PEOPLE IN THE '
70s, HIS PARENTS DIDN'T KNOW
HOW TO SWIM BUT HE MADE SURE
THAT HE AND HIS TWIN BROTHER
CART AND GOT THE BOYS SWIMMING
LESSONS AT AN EARLY AGE.
DIDN'T YOU SEE THE MOVIE "JAWS?"
WE HAVE THIS SEGMENT ON THE SHOW
CALLED "WE DON'T DO THAT"
BECAUSE THERE'S A LOT OF STUFF
THAT WE DON'T DO.
BUT I THINK WE DON'T KNOW
SOMETIMES WHY WE DON'T DO IT.
>> A LOT OF BLACK PEOPLE, SINCE
THIS AGGREGATION OF POOLS,
DIDN'T HAVE THE SAME OPPORTUNITY
AS WHITE KIDS.
PEOPLE THINK BLACK PEOPLE ARE
SCARED OF WATER.
WE ARE NOT SCARED OF WATER.
>> Dulce: WE ARE SCARED OF
WATER BECAUSE WE CAN'T SWIM.
>> AND WE CANCEL BECAUSE WE
DON'T HAVE THE SAME OPPORTUNITY.
WITH NO POOLS WERE OPEN FOR
WHITE PEOPLE, WE WEREN'T
ALLOWED.
THE ONE THING ABOUT WHY PEOPLE,
THEY NEVER BOTHERED ME, THEY
NEVER HARASSED ME ABOUT SURFING.
IS MY BLACK BROTHERS AND SISTERS
THAT SAY, BLACK PEOPLE DON'T
SERVE.
>> Dulce: LISTEN, I WAS A
MAROON 5 FAN AND WE HAD TO
FIGURE OUT HOW TO LISTEN TO THAT
END BLACK PEOPLE ACCEPTED THEM.
THIS MAN REALLY BELIEVES I CAN
DO IT AND I DON'T WANT TO PROVE
HIM WRONG.
DO YOU SEE THE OCEAN, DO YOU SEE
THE WAVES?
WHEN I GET IN THE WATER, THE
GOAL IS NOT TO MEET JESUS.
MAYBE IF I LEARN HOW TO SERVE, I
CAN PUT OUR TOY MAN
WHO OWNS A YACHT?
LET'S DO THIS.
>> I WILL HAVE THE KIDS GO
FIRST.
>> Dulce: THEY KNOW WHAT THEY
ARE DOING.
*
TURNS OUT, THERE'S MONEY OUT
HERE FOR THE YOUNG LACK SURFERS.
HE HAD A SPONSOR LIKE RED BULL
AND THE BLACK SURFER
ASSOCIATION.
>> REBEL CALLED ME AND SAID, WE
GOT $8,000 TO BLOW.
GO FIND A SURF SHOP.
THEY BOUGHT ME A THOUSAND
DOLLARS WORTH OF SURF BOARDS.
>> Dulce: I THOUGHT IT WAS
$8,000 WORTH OF RED BULL.
SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT NIGHT IN
COLLEGE BUT A 12-YEAR-OLD WITH
RED BULL?
THAT WILL STUNT YOUR GROWTH.
I DON'T KNOW THAT.
DON'T SUE ME, RED BULL.
YOU CAN'T GIVE ENERGY DRINKS TO
CHILDREN.
MOMENT OF TRUTH.
IF I DON'T MAKE IT, TELL MY MAMA
I LOVE HER.
*
WHOO!
I'M GOING TO DIE!
*
I LEARNED HOW TO SURF!
LET'S GO!
LISTEN, YOU NEVER KNOW, WHEN
YOU'RE OUT HERE ON YOUR OWN
WORKING, DOING YOUR THING THIS
BY YOURSELF, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT
YOU CAN ACHIEVE WITH JUST A FEW
LESSONS AND ABSOLUTELY NO HELP
AT ALL.
SORRY, CAN YOU BACK IT UP A
LITTLE BIT?
PERFECT, THANK YOU.
SO WHEN NO ONE EVER HELPS YOU,
WHEN YOU HAVE DONE EVERYTHING ON
YOUR OWN AND JUST REALLY WORK
HARD, LIKE, WOW.
*
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Dulce: WHEN WE COME BACK,
SASHA COLBY WILL BE JOINING ME
ON THE SHOW!
DON'T GO AWAY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
My guest tonight is the legendary drag
performer and recent winner of RuPaul's Drag Race.
Sasha, is there anything you'd like to say?
Yes.
This goes to every trans person past, present, and future
because we are not going anywhere.
[cheering]
Please welcome the goddess, the queen herself,
Sasha Colby.
[cheering]
[delighted scream]
Thank you.
Excited that you're here.
Oh, my god.
Oh, yeah.
Yes, that feels good.
OK, listen.
I have to admit, when it just came up on the screen,
I almost teared up.
And I was like, no, you have makeup on.
Don't do it.
Don't do it, because no one's going
to bring you any tissues.
Listen, I'm so excited for you, America's next drag superstar!
[cheering]
Congratulations, Miss Sasha Colby.
Now, tell me, you're in your winning era.
Definitely.
And early I was this a Sasha Colby meet and greet.
True. [laughs]
And if you weren't watching the show and don't catch that,
you need to get your life together.
How does it feel?
Oh, my goodness, it's two weeks since I won.
And it's, like, still, like, integrating in me.
Like, I haven't realized that I actually
won the big one, like I caught the biggest
fish that you could.
And--
DULC SLOAN: It hasn't clicked yet.
Yeah, no. Like, it'll be random.
I'll be, like, on a plane, I'll be, like, oh, I did it.
Like I--
[laughter]
That's crazy.
It's crazy.
Listen, it's, like, I was-- someone asked me yesterday,
they was, like, so how does it feel
to be host of The Daily Show.
And it didn't click for me until about 4:00
PM yesterday, because I've been like moving, and I was like--
The time delay.
And I was like, oh, shit, I'm hosting The Daily Show.
[laughter]
So I know exactly how you feel cause when I got here,
I was like, they're asking me all these questions.
I'm like, oh, shit, I'm hosting today.
[laughter]
Oh, I'm supposed to know the answer.
I'm supposed the answers to these questions.
So it's like, listen, now I know the running
joke-- we told you all it was the Sasha
Colby meet and greet.
Now, what's it like competing as a queen who was already
legendary before she got on the show,
because you are a legend, and you have
to appreciate her as a legend.
Goddess-- goddess see goddess.
Greatness sees greatness. Absolutely.
Blessing to blessing-- absolutely.
You know.
So tell the children what it was
like to be legendary and then be out here with the children.
Well, I mean, I am mother.
DULC SLOAN: True.
So, I deal with a lot of kids.
DULC SLOAN: Right.
A lot of kids come in and out of the way,
but I must say the group of girls, the group of drag
performers that we were with, that I
got to be so blessed to compete with, were such amazing girls.
Like, literally, the best cast I could
ever have dreamed to be with.
DULC SLOAN: OK.
But, the legend, they all knew, you know?
I mean, they knew.
[laughs] That's why they all stood
up for the meet and greet.
And, we-- like, listen, because I remember when you
walked in the room, I don't know if you've ever seen shock
and awe before, but I'm talking about face cracked,
jaws dropped.
I literally saw somebody go--
[laughter]
And I think you can hear Anetra
go, should we all go home now?
DULC SLOAN: Should we all go home now?
Because you walked in the room, and it's, like, oh,
do we-- should we even try?
I'm glad the delusion was hitting hard.
And they did try.
I mean--
[laughter]
I want-- I want them good next to me, you know?
I want to beat the best.
I mean, I could respect that, because Anetra
was not playing when it came-- - No, ma'am.
--to the lips.
He just-- [blowing air] Free Willy.
No, ma'am.
If you did not see no [blowing air]
Free Willy moment, because Anetra
was not playing with anybody.
That's why the whole season, I was just like,
please, please, please put Sasha and Anetra together.
Television is not ready.
They have to compete together.
Yes.
I mean, after that Lollaparooza that we did, I mean,
that was like a final tude number right there.
DULC SLOAN: It had to happen. - Yeah.
DULC SLOAN: It had to happen, because the drag
illusion was real.
I mean, it's real.
We all suffered from it a little.
Some more so than others.
Mother, this-- this on the--
you have to-- like, now y'all know for real,
like I've watched this show.
I was a judge on RuPaul's Drag Race,
like, last season, like Tuesdays.
And I was like, it has been my dream forever
to be a judge on that show.
So I'm waiting.
Listen, they're going to put you on All Stars.
They're going to.
Also, on winners.
[laughs]
[cheering]
Now, because you are legendary, because you are mother,
we need to know about the journey.
Ooh.
So I do want to note that you are the first Hawaiian queen
to take the crown. - Yes.
Actually, I think I'm the first Hawaiian queen to compete.
Oh, that's true.
Actually, made the show.
Yeah, there's been other Polynesian girls,
but I'm the first representing Hawaii.
Praise God.
So how has your Hawaiian heritage
shaped you as a trans woman.
Oh.
Well, I think, being any Indigenous culture
there is the third sex.
There is this level of non-binary that was
always known and spoken about.
DULC SLOAN: Right.
Before--
DULC SLOAN: Colonization.
Christianity, all that.
Love you, Christians.
Love you, too.
[laughter] - Love yourselves.
Anyway--
Now, that's the real thing.
That's the real thing.
How are you going to love anybody else?
Can I get an Amen.
I mean, read the word. That's not the point.
You all are going to be so mad at me.
- Anywho, tangents. - That's not the point.
Truly, tangents, tangentials.
[laughs]
What was the question?
How is--
[laughter]
We both got distracted, because you are so pretty,
and this jacket is shiny, and I like shiny things.
I was asking you how has your Hawaiian heritage
shaped you as a trans woman.
Well, like I was saying before I interrupted myself,
in any Indigenous culture there was space for trans
and non-binary folk and they were integral
parts of our society in every Indigenous
culture you can find.
So my transness is in my blood.
It's in my DNA.
It's what has been going on since before any man-made
religion, any of these standards
that we hold ourselves to, any male-woman, all of that.
That's just a way to oppress, a way to keep in line,
a way to segregate everybody.
And that's why I feel it's so important to be really
into your culture, to figure out your culture,
because we are always programmed to believe what
our parents need us to believe instead of what
is actually going through our veins, in our DNA,
in our blood.
Right.
And then what the society at large wants you to believe,
because if we go by mainstream society, then none of us
would be able to dance.
No, ma'am.
I definitely would not have not been able to show my tits
on national television.
[laughter]
And we all needed that.
I mean--
We all needed that.
At real T like, I was, like, everyone
saw like a great competition of Sasha Colby.
But all my friends were like, they didn't even
see Sasha Colby yet-- naked, drunk, at brunch, you know,
rolling around half naked.
I got it.
I think you showed us so much.
[laughter]
I think only doctors would need to see any more of you.
Not a cough.
I mean, listen, if I closed my eyes and they were like,
OK, Sasha Colby is missing.
I'm like, all right, don't you worry.
They might have to identify her by her titties, but I got you.
Don't you worry.
Or, you know, identified by booty.
Hey, listen, cause that thing is fire.
Mermaid.
And, has someone who's saying also be banging listen,
banging recognize banging.
Yes!
[laughter]
[applause]
Now, as women of color, especially, we always have
to worry about representation.
Right.
And I know you want to be an example of a happy trans
person in the media.
Why is that important to you?
Well, all that media has been concerned
with a lot of the time is telling the transition story,
telling the trauma, telling the effect that it did
on the family, but not showing why we go through all that
and how happy--
like, being so adamant about making yourself feel
comfortable in your own skin.
That's the whole reason why we do the transition.
It isn't to like hurt or harm or traumatize
our families or anyone else.
It is to be our true happy selves.
And we are missing that a lot.
[applause]
And I don't want it to get like misconstrued
that I want to be a representation of only
I'm a happy trans person.
There are so many happy well-adjusted loving
trans people, but you only see us
getting murdered and beaten.
DULC SLOAN: Yes.
So to be able to normalize the fact that you probably
have come into contact with three or four
trans people every day and not even
know it because we are everywhere
and we're not going anywhere.
[cheering]
Well, I can definitely understand that, because being
a woman of color and a plus size woman of color
in this industry, you spend a lot of time
where it's like, oh, well, your plus size,
you must be unhappy.
And it's like, no, I'm not.
Also, I'm very--
The skinny girls are unhappy because they are hungry.
The skinny girls are hungry, baby.
They're very hungry.
Girl, I was at a diner at 3:00 AM,
and I saw this drunk white girl eating a salad,
and I'm like, that's not what you want.
That's not what anyone wants.
You want fries.
You are drunk at 3:00 AM.
Why are you eating lettuce?
Eat the fries, girl.
You are in a tracksuit. You're in yoga pants.
It's working.
Eat the fries.
Drunk and a salad, you better be sick.
[laughs]
Now, I have to ask this question,
because we know we have to ask this question.
Now you won Drag Race at a time where
drag is being politicized for absolutely no reason.
[exhales] What do you think they're really trying to do?
Well, I mean, the legislation--
I don't want to be like political
and say, like, this--
I mean, you know, the conservatives.
DULC SLOAN: No, we can talk about the government,
because they out here after the donkey.
Right.
Yeah.
It's always about these white men kind of trying
to control people's bodies.
DULC SLOAN: Right.
So they were doing-- controlling
women's reproductive rights.
DULC SLOAN: Right.
Controlling our medicine, like a basic human right
of giving trans people, and like, even
like anyone good health care.
DULC SLOAN: Right.
So it's always about controlling.
And I always noticed that these guys,
they're not really killing a lot of like trans men.
There's a lot of trans women being murdered.
That's because these men objectify trans women as much
as they objectify cis women.
DULC SLOAN: Yes.
So once they objectify you and you're living your truth,
they get so mad. DULC SLOAN: Yes.
Because, they're, one, jealous that they're
not living their truth.
DULC SLOAN: Yes.
And two, because it makes them question why do
I like this, why-- like, but why
do you have to question that.
Why does that even have to be a thing, you know?
So for all of them, just--
I think they just want to be in drag.
Or they probably went in drag, and then they looked awful--
Santos.
[laughs]
They say, you hop in drag, you find
out you're a booger and you--
Bitter. Bitter booger.
DULC SLOAN: Bitter booger. - Honey.
DULC SLOAN: And you're like, you know what?
Ban them all.
This free tress wig might not be for me.
She couldn't find a mother.
She couldn't find-- they said, no, lost cause.
[laughter]
Now--
Call CPS.
Listen, call CPS.
Oh, my goodness, nothing like calling
CPS on a 45-year-old man.
But not on his children.
Sir, on you.
You need adult supervision. - This is true.
This is true.
So with all these anti-drag bills that
they're starting to pass places, has that
affecting where you can work?
Yes.
I'm a little nervous to go to Tennessee.
And I do have a booking there in like a month or so.
You could be committing crime.
I mean, technically, walking--
like setting foot down there, I'm breaking
the law for some reason.
It's insane.
Even when you're in girl drag.
Well, like, so if you are--
I'm not too sure, exactly, but I've heard from my queen
friends like Aura-- she lives in Tennessee-- like, you
can get in drag at the venue.
But to be out like walking from your car to the venue,
if you're in drag, you're breaking the law.
So someone like me who doesn't--
this is what it's made for.
I can't get out of drag.
I'm a trans woman.
DULC SLOAN: Because you're a woman.
So I'm going to be breaking the law,
and that's what they want.
Oh, because they're trying to--
It's a round about way to get trans people controlled.
So they're trying to say you're in drag when you're
really just wearing a woman--
Well, because the legislation,
I believe, like, the wording is if you're
in an article of clothing that is not your assigned birth
article of clothing, that's how they can roundabout
say that drag is illegal.
And then, the real thing is, being trans is illegal.
AUDIENCE: What?
DULC SLOAN: Oh, that I didn't--
You all didn't know that? Girl.
They live in New York. They think they free.
I know. We live in a--
we live in a good left bubble.
It's a-- listen, I've had a lot
of people try to con me and tell me
that New York wasn't racist.
Go outside.
Anyway, like y'all know where all the Dominicans are.
OK.
That's not racist?
Anyway.
If you know where every part of a group is, it's racist.
I shouldn't be able to-- oh, I go across that street, that's
where they at.
But you know what, that's not what we be talking about.
We talking about Sasha Colby right now.
Oh, nice.
[applause]
This is a segment of tangents.
I mean, listen, I am tangential.
I'm a tangerine.
So--
I'm tangerine.
[laughs] Oh, they messed around
and taught me vocabulary.
Now, all right.
Now we have talked about all of the political things.
Yes.
We have talked about the experiences.
But what I do have is one final question for you, mother.
If I was in the family, what would my drag name be?
Oh, I mean, Dulcé is already a sickening drag name.
DULC SLOAN: I hear you.
And Dulcé Colby sounds really nice.
Dulcé-- I'm a Colby?
Dulcé Colby.
I just gave birth again.
[screams]
Somebody clean up this water that just broke.
Listen, all the water-- all the water that broke,
listen, somebody get this placenta wrapped up.
I'm ready!
[laughter]
[squeals]
Colby baby.
[cheering]
Sasha Colby, everybody.
RuPaul's Drag Race is now streaming on Paramount+.
We're going to take a quick break,
but we'll be back right after this.
[cheering]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Dulce: THAT'S OUR SHOW FOR
TONIGHT BUT BEFORE WE GO:
PLEASE CONSIDER SUPPORTING THE
ACLU DRAG DEFENSE FUND.
DRAG PERFORMERS AND THE LGBTQ+
COMMUNITY ARE FACING THREATS
ACROSS THE COUNTRY.
LEARN MORE AND DONATE AT THE
LINK BELOW.
NOW, HERE IT IS.
YOUR "MOMENT OF ZEN."
>> COMING UP THIS MORNING, A
SURE SOUND OF SPRING AND SUMMER.
>> DON'T IMITATE IT.
NO, NO, NO.
>> LAWN MOWERS, LEAF BLOWERS --
>> WAS THAT A LAWN MOWER OR --
>> I WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING
ELSE BUT IT IS MORNING.
>> THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A LOT
MORE.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SOUND IS.