1 00:00:01,988 --> 00:00:02,240 on everybody? 2 00:00:02,274 --> 00:00:02,964 WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SOCIAL 3 00:00:02,965 --> 00:00:03,844 DISTANCING SHOW." 4 00:00:03,845 --> 00:00:05,109 I’M TREVOR NOAH. 5 00:00:05,143 --> 00:00:08,083 TODAY IS TUESDAY, THE 17th OF 6 00:00:08,118 --> 00:00:09,427 NOVEMBER, WHICH MEANS THERE’S 7 00:00:09,428 --> 00:00:10,550 ONLY 64 DAYS LEFT UNTIL DONALD 8 00:00:10,551 --> 00:00:12,360 TRUMP AND MIKE PENCE CAN STOP 9 00:00:12,361 --> 00:00:12,934 PRETENDING THEY’RE FRIENDS. 10 00:00:12,936 --> 00:00:15,068 ANYWAY, COMING UP ON TONIGHT’S 11 00:00:15,070 --> 00:00:15,300 SHOW: 12 00:00:15,302 --> 00:00:17,537 WHY THIS THANKSGIVING COULD BE 13 00:00:17,538 --> 00:00:17,956 YOUR LAST. 14 00:00:17,957 --> 00:00:20,015 HOW TRUMP MIGHT STILL WIN THIS 15 00:00:20,016 --> 00:00:20,305 ELECTION. 16 00:00:20,307 --> 00:00:24,097 AND KEVIN HART JOINS ME ON THE 17 00:00:24,098 --> 00:00:27,388 SHOW FOR ONE OF THE MOST FUN 18 00:00:27,389 --> 00:00:28,274 INTERVIEWS I’VE EVER HAD. 19 00:00:28,276 --> 00:00:29,022 SO LET’S DO THIS PEOPLE! 20 00:00:29,023 --> 00:00:30,631 WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SOCIAL DISTANCING SHOW." 21 00:00:32,734 --> 00:00:33,333 Announcer: FROM TREVOR’S 22 00:00:33,368 --> 00:00:33,739 Announcer: FROM TREVOR’S 23 00:00:33,774 --> 00:00:35,194 COUCH IN NEW YORK CITY TO YOUR 24 00:00:35,196 --> 00:00:35,945 COUCH SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD, 25 00:00:35,979 --> 00:00:36,653 THIS IS "THE DAILY SOCIAL 26 00:00:36,655 --> 00:00:39,606 DISTANCING SHOW," WITH TREVOR NOAH." 27 00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,010 Trevor: look, there’s no 28 00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:45,072 Trevor: look, there’s no 29 00:00:45,107 --> 00:00:48,258 denying there’s a lot of heavy 30 00:00:48,293 --> 00:00:49,887 stuff in the news right now. 31 00:00:49,888 --> 00:00:52,309 BUT BEFORE WE GET TO THAT, LET’S 32 00:00:52,310 --> 00:00:53,601 KICK IT OFF WITH A FUN CRIME 33 00:00:53,602 --> 00:00:54,696 STORY THAT’S OUT OF THIS WORLD. 34 00:00:54,731 --> 00:00:55,772 AND NOW THAT I HEAR THAT, IT 35 00:00:55,773 --> 00:00:56,762 PROBABLY SOUNDED LIKE IT HAS 36 00:00:56,763 --> 00:00:58,236 SOMETHING TO DO WITH OUTER 37 00:00:58,270 --> 00:00:59,583 SPACE, WHICH IT DOESN’T. 38 00:00:59,617 --> 00:01:02,497 NO, IT’S NOT OUT OF THIS WORLD. 39 00:01:02,532 --> 00:01:03,509 IT’S PRETTY COOL, THOUGH. 40 00:01:03,510 --> 00:01:04,607 A WILD CHASE WORTHY OF THE 41 00:01:04,609 --> 00:01:04,944 BIG SCREEN. 42 00:01:04,946 --> 00:01:05,670 THE SUSPECT IN A MULTIMILLION- 43 00:01:05,671 --> 00:01:06,293 DOLLAR PONZI SCHEME TRIED TO 44 00:01:06,294 --> 00:01:08,667 ESCAPE THE FEDS UNDER THE WATER 45 00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:09,614 OF LAKE SHASTA. 46 00:01:09,649 --> 00:01:10,838 THE U.S. ATTORNEY’S OFFICE SAYS 47 00:01:10,872 --> 00:01:11,750 MATHEW PERCY TOOK OFF IN HIS 48 00:01:11,784 --> 00:01:13,165 TRUCK WHEN THE F.B.I. SHOWED UP 49 00:01:13,166 --> 00:01:14,472 AT HIS HOME AND EVENTUALLY 50 00:01:14,506 --> 00:01:15,875 JUMPED ON A SEA SCOOTER, A 51 00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:19,004 DEVICE THAT PROPELS PEOPLE UP TO 52 00:01:19,038 --> 00:01:21,390 100 FEET UNDER WATER. 53 00:01:21,424 --> 00:01:22,548 WELL, AGENTS EVENTUALLY SPOTTED 54 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:23,561 HIS BUBBLES AND WAITED HIM OUT. 55 00:01:23,562 --> 00:01:26,498 WHEN HE FINALLY CAME OUT, THEY 56 00:01:26,499 --> 00:01:26,930 CUFFED HIM. 57 00:01:26,932 --> 00:01:29,037 Trevor: MAN, THERE IS SO MUCH 58 00:01:29,039 --> 00:01:31,054 I LOVE ABOUT THIS STORY. 59 00:01:31,088 --> 00:01:35,109 FIRST OF ALL, I LOVE HOW THE GUY 60 00:01:35,144 --> 00:01:37,257 HAD THE SEA SCOOTER READY, LIKE, 61 00:01:37,258 --> 00:01:40,553 HE KNEW HE WAS GOING TO HAVE TO 62 00:01:40,588 --> 00:01:41,703 OUTRUN THE FEDS AT SOME POINT. 63 00:01:41,738 --> 00:01:42,803 THAT’S GOING TO BE A HARD ONE TO 64 00:01:42,805 --> 00:01:43,471 EXPLAIN TO THE JUDGE. 65 00:01:43,472 --> 00:01:44,105 "NOT GUILTY, YOUR HONOR! 66 00:01:44,139 --> 00:01:45,172 ALTHOUGH, YES, I DID TRY TO 67 00:01:45,173 --> 00:01:46,649 ESCAPE WITH A METHOD USED MOSTLY 68 00:01:46,683 --> 00:01:48,596 BY CARTOON SUPER VILLAINS." 69 00:01:48,598 --> 00:01:52,343 AND HOW ARE YOU GOING TO TRY TO 70 00:01:52,345 --> 00:01:53,184 ESCAPE IN A LAKE? 71 00:01:53,185 --> 00:01:54,318 MY MAN, A LAKE DOESN’T GO 72 00:01:54,352 --> 00:01:54,577 ANYWHERE! 73 00:01:54,611 --> 00:01:55,769 IT’S LIKE IF O.J. TOOK THE WHITE 74 00:01:55,770 --> 00:01:56,645 BRONCO AROUND A NASCAR TRACK. 75 00:01:56,679 --> 00:01:58,190 YOU’RE NOT ESCAPING. 76 00:01:58,191 --> 00:01:59,420 YOU’RE JUST WASTING EVERYONE’S TIME! 77 00:01:59,421 --> 00:02:03,716 I’M ALSO DISAPPOINTED THAT THE 78 00:02:03,751 --> 00:02:05,723 COPS JUST "WAITED HIM OUT." 79 00:02:05,758 --> 00:02:07,238 WHAT’S THE POINT OF EVEN HAVING 80 00:02:07,272 --> 00:02:09,712 AN AQUAMAN, IF WE’RE NOT GOING 81 00:02:09,747 --> 00:02:10,660 TO USE HIM? 82 00:02:10,694 --> 00:02:12,882 BUT LET’S MOVE ON THO THE ONLY 83 00:02:12,917 --> 00:02:14,099 STORY OF THE WORLD-- THE RAGING 84 00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:15,809 CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC. 85 00:02:15,810 --> 00:02:18,408 THIS MORNING, ALARMING COVID 86 00:02:18,409 --> 00:02:21,710 NUMBERS ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY, 87 00:02:21,744 --> 00:02:25,802 1 MILLION AMERICANS DIAGNOSED 88 00:02:25,803 --> 00:02:27,634 WITH COVID-19 THIS WEEK. 89 00:02:27,635 --> 00:02:28,857 THAT’S ABOUT 100 AMERICANS 90 00:02:28,892 --> 00:02:29,454 DIAGNOSED EVERY MINUTE. 91 00:02:29,488 --> 00:02:30,500 IN PHILADELPHIA, WHERE CASES ARE 92 00:02:30,534 --> 00:02:31,265 RISING, THE CITY STARTING 93 00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:31,913 SWEEPING RESTRICTIONS FRIDAY, 94 00:02:31,914 --> 00:02:32,710 CLOSING INDOOR DINING, GYMS, AND 95 00:02:32,744 --> 00:02:33,433 PUTTING AN END TO YOUTH SPORTS 96 00:02:33,435 --> 00:02:35,788 THROUGH THE END OF THE 97 00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:36,227 YEAR. 98 00:02:36,228 --> 00:02:38,427 CALIFORNIA ALSO SEEING A SURGE. 99 00:02:38,428 --> 00:02:39,561 STARTING TUESDAY, 94% OF THE 100 00:02:39,562 --> 00:02:41,982 STATE WILL FALL UNDER ITS 101 00:02:42,017 --> 00:02:44,016 STRICTEST TIER OF RESTRICTIONS. 102 00:02:44,050 --> 00:02:45,640 IN MICHIGAN, RAPID SPREAD, 103 00:02:45,641 --> 00:02:48,407 ALMOST 13,000 NEW COVID-19 CASES 104 00:02:48,408 --> 00:02:49,136 IN ONE DAY. 105 00:02:49,170 --> 00:02:51,715 IN UTAH, I.C.U.s ARE NEARING 106 00:02:51,716 --> 00:02:52,275 CAPACITY. 107 00:02:52,276 --> 00:02:55,485 FRONTLINE WORKERS FROM NEW YORK, 108 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:57,426 ONCE THE EPICENTER OF THE VIRUS, 109 00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,545 ARE NOW HEADING THERE TO HELP. 110 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,583 IN IOWA, THE STRAIN ON STATE HOSPITALS LED GOVERNOR KIM 111 00:03:01,617 --> 00:03:03,400 HOSPITALS LED GOVERNOR KIM 112 00:03:03,435 --> 00:03:08,887 REYNOLDS TO ORDER A NEW MASK 113 00:03:08,888 --> 00:03:11,683 MANDATE AND NEARLY ALL INDOOR 114 00:03:11,684 --> 00:03:13,245 SPACES, AND A BAN ON INDOOR 115 00:03:13,246 --> 00:03:14,068 GATHERINGS OF MORE THAN 15 116 00:03:14,102 --> 00:03:14,636 PEOPLE AFTER MONTHS OF RESISTING 117 00:03:14,670 --> 00:03:15,123 CALLS TO DO SO. 118 00:03:15,124 --> 00:03:18,705 IF IOWANS DON’T BUY INTO 119 00:03:18,706 --> 00:03:19,537 THIS, WE LOSE. 120 00:03:19,571 --> 00:03:20,625 Trevor: YOU KNOW, GUYS, IT’S 121 00:03:20,660 --> 00:03:23,092 AMAZING TO ME THAT WE’RE EIGHT 122 00:03:23,093 --> 00:03:24,168 MONTHS INTO THIS PANDEMIC, AND 123 00:03:24,169 --> 00:03:25,960 WE’RE SOMEHOW GETTING WORSE AT 124 00:03:25,994 --> 00:03:29,452 DEALING WITH IT. 125 00:03:29,486 --> 00:03:31,821 IT MAKES NO SENSE. 126 00:03:31,822 --> 00:03:34,129 IMAGINE IF I STARTED LEARNING 127 00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:38,191 FERENCE TODAY, AND EIGHT MONTHS 128 00:03:38,192 --> 00:03:40,216 AFTER PRACTICING, I DON’T SPEAK 129 00:03:40,251 --> 00:03:40,684 FRENCH. 130 00:03:40,685 --> 00:03:43,270 AND I THINK IT’S A LITTLE INSANE 131 00:03:43,303 --> 00:03:46,235 THAT THESE RESTRICTIONS ARE JUST 132 00:03:46,270 --> 00:03:47,016 NOW HAPPENING. 133 00:03:47,050 --> 00:03:47,824 BECAUSE WE’VE KNOWN THE 134 00:03:47,858 --> 00:03:48,673 IMPORTANCE OF WEARING A MASK FOR 135 00:03:48,707 --> 00:03:49,378 MONTHS, AND SOME STATES ARE JUST 136 00:03:49,413 --> 00:03:51,183 NOW PUTTING A MASK MANDATE INTO 137 00:03:51,184 --> 00:03:51,892 PLACE. 138 00:03:51,926 --> 00:03:52,469 ONLY NOW? 139 00:03:52,503 --> 00:03:53,416 THIS IS LIKE HOSTING A POOL 140 00:03:53,451 --> 00:03:54,324 PARTY, AND THEN IN THE LAST TEN 141 00:03:54,325 --> 00:03:55,577 MINUTES SAYING "OKAY, NEW RULE: 142 00:03:55,579 --> 00:03:56,420 NO SHITTING IN THE POOL." 143 00:03:56,422 --> 00:03:57,127 YEAH! 144 00:03:57,128 --> 00:03:59,937 LOOKING AT YOU, DAVID!" 145 00:03:59,938 --> 00:04:02,743 I MEAN, BETTER LATE THAN NEVER, 146 00:04:02,744 --> 00:04:05,353 BUT THAT’S SOME SHIT FLOATING 147 00:04:05,354 --> 00:04:05,596 AROUND. 148 00:04:05,597 --> 00:04:07,851 BUT THIS IS WHY IT IS SO 149 00:04:07,852 --> 00:04:10,085 IMPORTANT TO ALWAYS WEAR A MASK 150 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:10,686 IN PUBLIC SPACES. 151 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,010 YOU CAN PROTECT YOUR LOVED ONES 152 00:04:13,011 --> 00:04:15,939 AND YOUR WHOLE COMMUNITY WITH A 153 00:04:15,940 --> 00:04:17,597 $3 STRIP OF FABRIC, PEOPLE. 154 00:04:17,598 --> 00:04:18,374 YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE. 155 00:04:18,376 --> 00:04:19,877 AND MAYBE YOU’RE SAYING, "BUT 156 00:04:19,879 --> 00:04:25,206 TREVOR, I’M A RICH SNOB. 157 00:04:25,207 --> 00:04:27,600 I WOULD NEVER WEAR SOMETHING 158 00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:28,497 THAT ONLY COSTS $3." 159 00:04:28,499 --> 00:04:29,705 WELL, NOW YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE, 160 00:04:29,739 --> 00:04:29,938 EITHER. 161 00:04:29,939 --> 00:04:30,871 WHO SAYS STAYING SAFE CAN’T 162 00:04:30,905 --> 00:04:33,518 ALSO BE A FASHION STATEMENT? 163 00:04:33,519 --> 00:04:34,504 THE WORLD’S MOST EXPENSIVE 164 00:04:34,539 --> 00:04:35,531 FACE MASK NOW MAKING ITS DEBUT. 165 00:04:35,532 --> 00:04:36,207 THE $1.5 MILLION MASK WAS 166 00:04:36,208 --> 00:04:39,426 CREATED BY AN ISRAELI JEWELRY 167 00:04:39,428 --> 00:04:39,676 COMPANY. 168 00:04:39,710 --> 00:04:41,437 HEY, THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING. 169 00:04:41,472 --> 00:04:43,210 IT FEATURES MORE THAN 3,600 170 00:04:43,211 --> 00:04:46,652 BLACK AND WHITE DIAMONDS SET IN 171 00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:48,500 250 GRAMS OF PURE 18-CARAT GOLD. 172 00:04:48,535 --> 00:04:50,821 THE DESIGNER SAYS IT’S MADE TO 173 00:04:50,823 --> 00:04:52,759 BE 100% WEARABLE. 174 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:56,576 IT FEATURES A SLOT FOR THE 175 00:04:56,578 --> 00:05:01,107 WEARER TO INSERT A-- YES, 176 00:05:01,108 --> 00:05:05,754 DISPOSABLE N91 MASK, WHICH IS 177 00:05:05,755 --> 00:05:07,581 FINER THAN A N95 MASK. 178 00:05:07,582 --> 00:05:09,465 Trevor: WOW, A $1.5 MILLION 179 00:05:09,466 --> 00:05:09,844 FACE MASK! 180 00:05:09,845 --> 00:05:10,927 RICH PEOPLE-- LEARN HOW TO READ 181 00:05:10,962 --> 00:05:11,736 THE ROOM. 182 00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:13,850 PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD ARE 183 00:05:13,851 --> 00:05:16,561 LIKE, "WE’RE STARVING, AND WE 184 00:05:16,562 --> 00:05:18,512 NEED A MORE EQUAL SOCIETY," AND 185 00:05:18,514 --> 00:05:19,642 THEN RICH PEOPLE ARE LIKE, "IS 186 00:05:19,676 --> 00:05:22,399 THERE ANY WAY I CAN BREATHE 187 00:05:22,433 --> 00:05:23,010 THROUGH DIAMONDS?" 188 00:05:23,044 --> 00:05:24,398 I’M JUST SAYING, MAYBE LAY LOW 189 00:05:24,432 --> 00:05:26,757 FOR A LITTLE WHILE. 190 00:05:26,791 --> 00:05:27,997 HONESTLY, GUYS, WHERE ARE YOU 191 00:05:28,031 --> 00:05:29,778 EVEN GOING TO WEAR THIS THING, A 192 00:05:29,813 --> 00:05:30,587 FANCY PARTY? 193 00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:32,617 WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO WEAR A 194 00:05:32,618 --> 00:05:33,403 DIAMOND MASK? 195 00:05:33,437 --> 00:05:39,009 YOU’RE NOT GOING TO WEAR IT IN 196 00:05:39,043 --> 00:05:39,649 THE STREET. 197 00:05:39,651 --> 00:05:40,791 YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE 198 00:05:40,825 --> 00:05:41,452 PARTIES DURING CORONA! 199 00:05:41,486 --> 00:05:42,492 YOU’RE GONNA END UP WEARING THIS 200 00:05:42,493 --> 00:05:43,061 AROUND THE HOUSE, JUST SHOWING 201 00:05:43,063 --> 00:05:43,581 IT OFF TO YOUR CAT. 202 00:05:43,615 --> 00:05:43,980 "SO... MR. WHISKERS. 203 00:05:43,981 --> 00:05:44,403 IMPRESSED?" 204 00:05:44,404 --> 00:05:45,174 ( CAT MEOWS ) 205 00:05:45,175 --> 00:05:47,205 NO, YOU GO BACK WHERE YOU CAME 206 00:05:47,206 --> 00:05:47,758 FROM! 207 00:05:47,793 --> 00:05:49,731 OF COURSE, MASKS AREN’T THE ONLY 208 00:05:49,765 --> 00:05:52,558 IMPORTANT THING NEEDED TO SLOW 209 00:05:52,593 --> 00:05:54,174 THE SPREAD OF CORONAVIRUS. 210 00:05:54,175 --> 00:05:57,332 WE ALSO HAVE TO KEEP UP SOCIAL 211 00:05:57,366 --> 00:05:57,539 DISTANCING. 212 00:05:57,541 --> 00:05:58,481 AND RIGHT NOW, THAT MEANS NOT 213 00:05:58,515 --> 00:05:59,850 HAVING BIG FAMILY GET-TOGETHERS 214 00:05:59,884 --> 00:06:00,985 FOR THE HOLIDAYS. 215 00:06:01,020 --> 00:06:02,302 WHICH SUCKS, PLEASE, DON’T GET 216 00:06:02,336 --> 00:06:03,749 ME WRONG. 217 00:06:03,783 --> 00:06:04,559 I GET IT. 218 00:06:04,593 --> 00:06:05,499 BUT DOES IT SUCK MORE THAN 219 00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:06,610 HAVING YOUR LOVED ONES DIE OF 220 00:06:06,645 --> 00:06:06,985 COVID? 221 00:06:06,986 --> 00:06:08,166 WELL, ACCORDING TO THE TRUMP 222 00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:09,663 ADMINISTRATION, YES, IT DOES. 223 00:06:09,665 --> 00:06:11,818 DR. SCOTT ATLAS, WHO IS ONE 224 00:06:11,820 --> 00:06:13,124 OF THE PRESIDENT’S SOURCES AS IT 225 00:06:13,125 --> 00:06:14,400 RELATES TO THE PANDEMIC, AND HE 226 00:06:14,401 --> 00:06:15,539 HAS NOW COME OUT AND IS TALKING 227 00:06:15,540 --> 00:06:16,833 ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE SHOULD BE 228 00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:17,643 DOING AS THEY HEAD INTO 229 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:18,221 THANKSGIVING WITH SO MUCH 230 00:06:18,222 --> 00:06:19,762 ATTENTION ON THE HOLIDAY RIGHT 231 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:20,145 NOW. 232 00:06:20,179 --> 00:06:22,671 THIS KIND OF ISOLATION IS ONE 233 00:06:22,705 --> 00:06:23,893 OF THE UNSPOKEN TRAGEDIES OF THE 234 00:06:23,894 --> 00:06:24,783 ELDERLY, WHO ARE NOW BEING TOLD, 235 00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:26,971 "DON’T SEE YOUR FAMILY AT 236 00:06:26,972 --> 00:06:27,376 THANKSGIVING." 237 00:06:27,378 --> 00:06:28,738 FOR MANY PEOPLE, THIS IS THEIR 238 00:06:28,740 --> 00:06:30,296 FINAL THANKSGIVING, BELIEVE IT 239 00:06:30,330 --> 00:06:31,051 OR NOT. 240 00:06:31,052 --> 00:06:32,293 WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? 241 00:06:32,328 --> 00:06:34,876 I THINK WE HAVE TO HAVE A 242 00:06:34,911 --> 00:06:36,515 POLICY, WHICH I HAVE BEEN 243 00:06:36,549 --> 00:06:40,353 ADVOCATING, WHICH IS A WHOLE- 244 00:06:40,388 --> 00:06:41,177 PERSON, WHOLE-HEALTH POLICY. 245 00:06:41,211 --> 00:06:42,606 Trevor: NO, MAN, THIS DUDE IS 246 00:06:42,608 --> 00:06:42,993 NOT SERIOUS. 247 00:06:42,995 --> 00:06:45,578 "FOR MANY PEOPLE THIS IS THEIR 248 00:06:45,580 --> 00:06:46,724 FINAL THANKSGIVING"? 249 00:06:46,725 --> 00:06:46,895 REALLY? 250 00:06:46,929 --> 00:06:48,886 I MEAN, YES, THANKS TO THE TRUMP 251 00:06:48,887 --> 00:06:49,433 ADMINISTRATION, IT’S DEFINITELY 252 00:06:49,467 --> 00:06:54,782 GOING TO BE MANY PEOPLE’S FINAL 253 00:06:54,816 --> 00:06:55,734 THANKSGIVING, BUT STILL... 254 00:06:55,769 --> 00:06:57,250 AND I LOVE THAT WHOLE "WHOLE 255 00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:57,681 PERSON" HEALTH POLICY. 256 00:06:57,715 --> 00:06:58,416 IF YOU DIE OF COVID, THAT’S THE 257 00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:58,886 WHOLE THING! 258 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:00,456 IT’S NOT LIKE YOU’RE GOING TO 259 00:07:00,457 --> 00:07:01,634 SAY, "WELL, I DIED OF COVID, 260 00:07:01,635 --> 00:07:04,796 BUT, DAMN, THOSE MASHED POTATOES 261 00:07:04,797 --> 00:07:05,610 WERE GREAT!" 262 00:07:05,611 --> 00:07:07,875 LOOK, I DO THINK IT’S IMPORTANT 263 00:07:07,909 --> 00:07:09,894 FOR PEOPLE TO SEE THEIR 264 00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:10,700 FAMILIES, ESPECIALLY AROUND 265 00:07:10,735 --> 00:07:11,663 THANKSGIVING. 266 00:07:11,697 --> 00:07:14,160 PEOPLE LOOK FORWARD TO IT. 267 00:07:14,162 --> 00:07:15,979 BUT I ALSO THINK IT’S MORE 268 00:07:15,981 --> 00:07:19,703 IMPORTANT TO BE ABLE TO SEE YOUR 269 00:07:19,737 --> 00:07:21,839 FAMILY FOR THE NEXT 10 270 00:07:21,873 --> 00:07:22,895 THANKSGIVINGS THEY’LL HOPEFULLY 271 00:07:22,896 --> 00:07:24,186 GET TO HAVE AFTER IT. 272 00:07:24,220 --> 00:07:24,929 IT’S NOT LIKE AMERICANS AREN’T 273 00:07:24,930 --> 00:07:25,804 USED TO THE IDEA OF NOT GOING 274 00:07:25,838 --> 00:07:26,408 HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS BECAUSE 275 00:07:26,409 --> 00:07:28,292 THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE COUNTRY 276 00:07:28,326 --> 00:07:29,081 SAFE. 277 00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:31,753 AMERICAN GENERALS IN WORLD WAR 278 00:07:31,788 --> 00:07:33,290 II WEREN’T LIKE, "SURE, BEATING 279 00:07:33,324 --> 00:07:34,134 HITLER IS IMPORTANT, BUT WHAT’S 280 00:07:34,168 --> 00:07:34,991 THE POINT OF FREEDOM IF WE HAVE 281 00:07:35,026 --> 00:07:37,949 TO MISS CRANBERRY SAUCE FOR ONE 282 00:07:37,983 --> 00:07:39,332 YEAR? 283 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,433 LET’S GO HOME, SOLDIERS!" 284 00:07:41,467 --> 00:07:44,483 AND IT’S SO HILARIOUS THAT 285 00:07:44,517 --> 00:07:46,807 CONSERVATIVES HAVE ENDED UP 286 00:07:46,808 --> 00:07:51,276 HERE BECAUSE WHEN THIS PANDEMIC 287 00:07:51,311 --> 00:07:52,984 STARTED-- REMEMBER-- THEY SAID 288 00:07:52,985 --> 00:07:54,597 "WE DON’T HAVE TO SHUT DOWN THE 289 00:07:54,631 --> 00:07:54,834 ECONOMY. 290 00:07:54,836 --> 00:07:55,529 JUST BE SAFE AND RESPONSIBLE." 291 00:07:55,531 --> 00:07:56,167 THEN THEY WERE LIKE, "WE DON’T 292 00:07:56,169 --> 00:07:56,710 HAVE TO WEAR MASKS. 293 00:07:56,711 --> 00:07:57,410 JUST PROTECT THE ELDERLY." 294 00:07:57,412 --> 00:07:58,205 NOW THEY’RE LIKE, "YOU KNOW 295 00:07:58,206 --> 00:07:59,647 WHAT, BRING THE ELDERLY IN HERE. 296 00:07:59,681 --> 00:08:01,276 I CAN’T FIT ALL THESE LEFTOVERS 297 00:08:01,310 --> 00:08:02,456 IN MY FRIDGE, OKAY. 298 00:08:02,458 --> 00:08:04,147 GET IN HERE? 299 00:08:04,148 --> 00:08:05,403 IT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. 300 00:08:05,404 --> 00:08:06,461 IT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE WHY 301 00:08:06,463 --> 00:08:08,127 TRUMP IS WILLING TO RISK OLD 302 00:08:08,128 --> 00:08:10,341 PEOPLE BEING EXPOSED SO MUCH TO 303 00:08:10,342 --> 00:08:11,002 CORONA THIS MUCH. 304 00:08:11,003 --> 00:08:12,304 UNLESS HE THINKS THAT IT WILL 305 00:08:12,305 --> 00:08:14,471 END UP MAKING HIM LOOK GOOD IN 306 00:08:14,472 --> 00:08:16,373 THE LONG RUN, BECAUSE YOU WON’T 307 00:08:16,407 --> 00:08:20,646 HAVE OLD PEOPLE DYING IF ALL THE 308 00:08:20,681 --> 00:08:22,697 OLD PEOPLE ARE ALREADY DEAD. 309 00:08:22,699 --> 00:08:24,350 WE’RE GOING TO TAKE A QUICK 310 00:08:24,351 --> 00:08:26,196 BREAK, BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, 311 00:08:26,197 --> 00:08:27,620 DONALD TRUMP’S LAST-DITCH PLAN 312 00:08:27,654 --> 00:08:28,845 TO WIN THE ELECTION WHICH HE 313 00:08:28,879 --> 00:08:29,536 LOST. 314 00:08:29,537 --> 00:08:32,571 AND AFTER THAT, MY CAN’T-MISS 315 00:08:32,572 --> 00:08:34,385 INTERVIEW WITH KEVIN HART. STICK AROUND. 316 00:08:36,091 --> 00:08:37,849 DAILY SOCIAL DISTANCING SHOW." 317 00:08:37,883 --> 00:08:40,406 IT HAS NOW BEEN 10 DAYS SINCE 318 00:08:40,407 --> 00:08:42,772 JOE BIDEN WAS DECLARED THE 319 00:08:42,806 --> 00:08:45,889 WINNER OF THE 2020 PRESIDENTIAL 320 00:08:45,924 --> 00:08:47,870 ELECTION, BUT OUTGOING 321 00:08:47,904 --> 00:08:51,868 PRESIDENT, DONALD JIGGLYPUFF 322 00:08:51,870 --> 00:08:55,210 TRUMP, IS STILL LOOKING FOR WAYS 323 00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:56,659 TO OVERTURN THE RESULTS. 324 00:08:56,693 --> 00:08:57,365 RECOUNTS HAVEN’T WORKED. 325 00:08:57,399 --> 00:08:58,250 LEGAL CHALLENGES HAVEN’T WORKED. 326 00:08:58,284 --> 00:09:00,457 HE EVEN TRIED SIGNING AN 327 00:09:00,491 --> 00:09:01,323 EXECUTIVE ORDER THAT NOVEMBER 328 00:09:01,358 --> 00:09:02,997 3rd WAS OPPOSITE DAY, BUT THAT 329 00:09:02,999 --> 00:09:03,988 SOMEHOW DIDN’T WORK. 330 00:09:03,989 --> 00:09:07,099 BUT IT TURNS OUT THERE IS ONE 331 00:09:07,134 --> 00:09:08,498 MORE THING THAT TRUMP COULD TRY. 332 00:09:08,532 --> 00:09:10,750 COULD FAITHLESS ELECTORS SAVE 333 00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:12,606 PRESIDENT TRUMP’S RE-ELECTION? 334 00:09:12,607 --> 00:09:14,488 SOME REPUBLICANS TRYING TO 335 00:09:14,521 --> 00:09:16,775 GET FAITHLESS LEGISLATORS TO 336 00:09:16,809 --> 00:09:18,607 VOTE AGAINST THE WILL OF THE 337 00:09:18,608 --> 00:09:18,798 PEOPLE. 338 00:09:18,832 --> 00:09:19,626 PRESIDENT TRUMP’S ALLIES AND 339 00:09:19,628 --> 00:09:20,292 HIS FAMILY TODAY URGED 340 00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:21,017 REPUBLICAN STATE LEGISLATURES TO 341 00:09:21,051 --> 00:09:22,743 IGNORE THE WILL OF VOTERS IN 342 00:09:22,744 --> 00:09:23,900 THEIR STATES AND TO INSTALL 343 00:09:23,901 --> 00:09:24,609 ELECTORS THAT WILL CAST 344 00:09:24,610 --> 00:09:26,674 ELECTORAL VOTES FOR PRESIDENT 345 00:09:26,708 --> 00:09:27,415 TRUMP. 346 00:09:27,449 --> 00:09:30,158 Trevor: YEAH, EVEN THOUGH 347 00:09:30,192 --> 00:09:32,089 TRUMP LOST THE ELECTION, SOME OF 348 00:09:32,090 --> 00:09:34,201 HIS PEOPLE ARE HOPING HE CAN 349 00:09:34,235 --> 00:09:36,321 PULL OUT A WIN BY USING 350 00:09:36,323 --> 00:09:37,149 "FAITHLESS ELECTORS." 351 00:09:37,150 --> 00:09:38,397 AND ALTHOUGH FAITHLESS ELECTORS 352 00:09:38,398 --> 00:09:39,408 SOUNDS LIKE ONE OF YOUR 353 00:09:39,442 --> 00:09:42,163 AUNTIE’S GROWN-UP NOVELS, 354 00:09:42,197 --> 00:09:43,278 THEY’RE NOT. 355 00:09:43,312 --> 00:09:46,700 AND, LOOK, PLEASE DON’T GET ME 356 00:09:46,734 --> 00:09:46,980 WRONG. 357 00:09:47,015 --> 00:09:48,463 THIS WOULD BE A LOOOONG SHOT. 358 00:09:48,464 --> 00:09:49,375 IT’S ABOUT AS LIKELY AS MITCH 359 00:09:49,376 --> 00:09:51,130 McCONNELL BEING ON THE COVER 360 00:09:51,131 --> 00:09:52,037 OF "MEN’S HEALTH." 361 00:09:52,038 --> 00:09:53,195 BUT, THEORETICALLY, FAITHLESS 362 00:09:53,196 --> 00:09:55,285 ELECTORS COULD GIVE TRUMP THE 363 00:09:55,286 --> 00:09:55,904 PRESIDENCY. 364 00:09:55,905 --> 00:09:58,359 SO THE QUESTION IS: WHO ARE 365 00:09:58,360 --> 00:09:58,641 THEY? 366 00:09:58,642 --> 00:09:59,668 WHAT ARE THEY? 367 00:09:59,669 --> 00:10:03,402 AND HOW COULD THEY BE USED TO 368 00:10:03,404 --> 00:10:04,206 OVERTURN THE ELECTION? 369 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:05,049 LET’S FIND OUT, IN ANOTHER 370 00:10:05,084 --> 00:10:07,743 INSTALLMENT OF "IF YOU DON’T 371 00:10:07,744 --> 00:10:11,009 KNOW, NOW YOU KNOW." ♪ ♪ ♪ 372 00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,514 WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE KID, YOU 373 00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:17,666 WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE KID, YOU 374 00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:20,569 PROBABLY BELIEVED THAT PEOPLE 375 00:10:20,571 --> 00:10:23,979 VOTE FOR PRESIDENT, AND WHOEVER 376 00:10:23,980 --> 00:10:28,498 GETS THE MOST VOTES WINS, YEAH. 377 00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:29,364 SIMPLE CHILD MIND. 378 00:10:29,365 --> 00:10:30,389 THE SAME WAY YOU BELIEVED THAT 379 00:10:30,423 --> 00:10:31,241 YOUR YOUNGER BROTHER WAS BROUGHT 380 00:10:31,276 --> 00:10:31,786 BY THE STORK. 381 00:10:31,820 --> 00:10:33,137 BUT ONCE YOU GOT OLDER, YOU 382 00:10:33,171 --> 00:10:33,959 LEARNED THAT ACTUALLY YOUR MOM 383 00:10:33,961 --> 00:10:35,076 AND DAD WERE RIDING THE F-TRAIN 384 00:10:35,077 --> 00:10:39,308 TO BONE TOWN, BECAUSE BONE TOWN 385 00:10:39,342 --> 00:10:41,166 IS WHERE THE STORK LIVES, AND 386 00:10:41,168 --> 00:10:42,598 THAT’S HOW THEY GOT YOUR 387 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:42,808 BROTHER. 388 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:43,766 AND IN THE SAME WAY, THE SYSTEM 389 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:44,783 FOR ELECTING A PRESIDENT IS MORE 390 00:10:44,784 --> 00:10:46,203 COMPLEX THAN JUST "ONE-PERSON, 391 00:10:46,204 --> 00:10:47,379 ONE-VOTE," BECAUSE AMERICA’S 392 00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,348 FOUNDING FATHERS WANTED TO COME 393 00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:50,438 UP WITH SOMETHING THAT WOULD 394 00:10:50,473 --> 00:10:51,276 PREVENT THEIR BIGGEST FEAR: THE 395 00:10:51,277 --> 00:10:52,684 PEOPLE CHOOSING SOMEONE 396 00:10:52,685 --> 00:10:53,443 TERRIBLE. 397 00:10:53,444 --> 00:11:00,707 THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE IS A 398 00:11:00,709 --> 00:11:03,553 SORT OF GLUED-TOGETHER SOLUTION 399 00:11:03,554 --> 00:11:06,119 TO A PROBLEM THAT THE 400 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:07,796 CONSTITUTIONAL CONVENTION 401 00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:08,406 COULDN’T SOLVE. 402 00:11:08,407 --> 00:11:09,513 THEY SAID, SHOULD THE 403 00:11:09,547 --> 00:11:10,076 CONGRESS ELECT THE PRESIDENT? 404 00:11:10,078 --> 00:11:10,823 NO, IF THEY DO THAT THEN THAT 405 00:11:10,858 --> 00:11:11,639 CONGRESS WILL OWN THE 406 00:11:11,641 --> 00:11:11,873 PRESIDENCY. 407 00:11:11,874 --> 00:11:13,190 ANOTHER OPTION WAS TO HAVE 408 00:11:13,192 --> 00:11:14,606 THE PEOPLE SELECT THEIR LEADER, 409 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:16,097 BUT AT THE TIME, THEY THOUGHT 410 00:11:16,131 --> 00:11:17,919 THE COUNTRY WAS TOO LARGE AND 411 00:11:17,953 --> 00:11:18,771 THE PEOPLE NOT INFORMED ENOUGH 412 00:11:18,805 --> 00:11:21,363 TO MAKE THAT CHOICE. 413 00:11:21,364 --> 00:11:23,627 AND ONE OF THE ODD 414 00:11:23,661 --> 00:11:24,892 COMPROMISES THAT THEY CAME UP 415 00:11:24,927 --> 00:11:26,544 WITH WAS ACTUALLY USING THIS SET 416 00:11:26,545 --> 00:11:28,387 OF POLITICAL ELITES TO DO THE 417 00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:29,989 ACTUAL VOTING FOR PRESIDENT, BUT 418 00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,735 STILL PROVIDING A MECHANISM TO 419 00:11:31,736 --> 00:11:33,464 SELECT THOSE ELECTORS. 420 00:11:33,466 --> 00:11:37,512 THEY THOUGHT BY CREATING THIS 421 00:11:37,513 --> 00:11:39,146 WISE GROUP OF ELITES, THESE 422 00:11:39,147 --> 00:11:40,079 ELECTORS COULD FILTER POPULAR 423 00:11:40,113 --> 00:11:40,267 PASSIONS. 424 00:11:40,302 --> 00:11:41,153 THEY WERE AFRAID OF A DEMAGOGUE 425 00:11:41,187 --> 00:11:41,504 BEING CHOSEN. 426 00:11:41,539 --> 00:11:43,022 THEY MISTRUSTED DIRECT 427 00:11:43,023 --> 00:11:43,693 DEMOCRACY. 428 00:11:43,694 --> 00:11:45,752 ALEXANDER HAMILTON WROTE THAT 429 00:11:45,786 --> 00:11:48,098 THE GOAL WAS TO ENSURE THAT, 430 00:11:48,132 --> 00:11:52,233 "THE OFFICE OF PRESIDENT WILL 431 00:11:52,234 --> 00:11:54,924 NEVER FALL TO THE LOT OF ANY MAN 432 00:11:54,958 --> 00:11:56,266 WHO IS NOT IN AN EMMINENT DEGREE 433 00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:57,204 ENDOWED WITH THE REQUISITE 434 00:11:57,205 --> 00:11:58,618 QUALIFICATIONS. Trevor: THAT’S RIGHT. 435 00:11:58,619 --> 00:12:01,835 Trevor: THAT’S RIGHT. 436 00:12:01,870 --> 00:12:08,336 ACCORDING TO ALEXANDER HAMILTON: 437 00:12:08,370 --> 00:12:11,802 THE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT 438 00:12:11,804 --> 00:12:12,555 WILL NEVER FALL 439 00:12:12,556 --> 00:12:13,785 ♪ TO THE LOT OF ANY MAN 440 00:12:13,787 --> 00:12:14,586 WHO IS NOT IN AN IMMINENT DEGREE 441 00:12:14,588 --> 00:12:14,872 ENDOWED ♪ 442 00:12:14,874 --> 00:12:16,524 DAMN-- I SHOULD MAKE A MUSICAL 443 00:12:16,525 --> 00:12:17,014 OUT OF THIS! 444 00:12:17,048 --> 00:12:17,807 BUT THE POINT IS AMERICANS DON’T 445 00:12:17,841 --> 00:12:18,334 VOTE FOR THE PRESIDENT. 446 00:12:18,336 --> 00:12:18,982 AMERICANS VOTE FOR A SLATE OF 447 00:12:18,983 --> 00:12:20,876 ELECTORS WHO WILL THEN GO AND 448 00:12:20,877 --> 00:12:22,283 VOTE FOR THE PRESIDENT. 449 00:12:22,318 --> 00:12:24,072 IN MANY BASIS, IT’S THE SAME WAY 450 00:12:24,107 --> 00:12:26,492 THAT AMERICAN HIGH SCHOOL KIDS 451 00:12:26,494 --> 00:12:27,696 DON’T BUY THE BEER. 452 00:12:27,697 --> 00:12:28,478 THEY GIVE THE HOMELESS MAN 453 00:12:28,512 --> 00:12:30,079 MONEY, AND THEN HE GOES TO BUY 454 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,640 THE BEER ON THEIR BEHALF. 455 00:12:32,674 --> 00:12:33,828 THAT WAY IT’S MORE RESPONSIBLE. 456 00:12:33,829 --> 00:12:34,741 IT’S AMAZING HOW IF YOU READ 457 00:12:34,743 --> 00:12:35,751 INTO IT, THE FOUNDING FATHERS 458 00:12:35,752 --> 00:12:38,248 REALLY THOUGHT EVERYONE IN THE 459 00:12:38,281 --> 00:12:39,478 COUNTRY WAS SUPER DUMB. 460 00:12:39,513 --> 00:12:40,855 BECAUSE EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT 461 00:12:40,856 --> 00:12:42,586 THEY WANTED TO BUILD A NEW, 462 00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:46,867 PERFECT SOCIETY, WHEN REALLY THEY WERE BASICALLY INSTALLING 463 00:12:46,868 --> 00:12:49,882 THEY WERE BASICALLY INSTALLING 464 00:12:49,883 --> 00:12:55,911 CHILDPROOFING TO KEEP THE 465 00:12:55,913 --> 00:12:59,118 COUNTRY SAFE AND STOP PEOPOLE 466 00:12:59,119 --> 00:12:59,983 FROM EATING SAND. 467 00:13:00,017 --> 00:13:01,041 NOW, THIS WHOLE IDEA OF ELECTORS 468 00:13:01,042 --> 00:13:01,691 BEING SMARTER THAN THE MASSES 469 00:13:01,725 --> 00:13:02,502 FELL BY THE WAYSIDE PRETTY 470 00:13:02,536 --> 00:13:02,722 QUICKLY. 471 00:13:02,723 --> 00:13:03,697 AND ONE OF THEIR MAIN REASONS 472 00:13:03,698 --> 00:13:04,535 FOR DOING THIS WAS BECAUSE THEY 473 00:13:04,537 --> 00:13:05,325 THOUGHT A LOT OF AMERICANS 474 00:13:05,359 --> 00:13:06,110 WOULDN’T KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT THE 475 00:13:06,111 --> 00:13:06,950 CANDIDATES TO VOTE FOR THEM. 476 00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:07,965 BUT THAT WAS HUNDREDS OF YEARS 477 00:13:07,967 --> 00:13:09,130 AGO WHEN INFORMATION WAS HARDER 478 00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:09,844 TO COME BY. 479 00:13:09,878 --> 00:13:13,537 YOU ONLY FOUND OUT NEWS WHEN 480 00:13:13,538 --> 00:13:16,250 SOMEONE DELIVERED IT BY HORSE. 481 00:13:16,285 --> 00:13:19,896 BUT NOW, WE GOT THE INTERNET 482 00:13:19,898 --> 00:13:21,221 PEOPLE. 483 00:13:21,256 --> 00:13:23,255 PEOPLE ARE SUPER INFORMED. 484 00:13:23,256 --> 00:13:24,573 AMERICAN VOTERS KNOW ALL ABOUT 485 00:13:24,574 --> 00:13:24,781 HOW... 486 00:13:24,782 --> 00:13:27,177 HUNTER BIDEN MOVED TO RUSSIA AND 487 00:13:27,179 --> 00:13:28,941 SOLD HIS LAPTOP TO RUDY GIULIANI 488 00:13:28,943 --> 00:13:29,797 FOR DRUGS, AND HOW HILLARY 489 00:13:29,798 --> 00:13:31,880 CLINTON IS IN A PEDOPHILE RING 490 00:13:31,914 --> 00:13:33,491 THAT WANTS TO DRINK THE BLOOD OF 491 00:13:33,525 --> 00:13:35,897 CHILDREN, AND I KNOW MELANIA HAS 492 00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:37,480 A BODY DOUBLE WHO’S HAVING AN 493 00:13:37,514 --> 00:13:38,195 AFFAIR WITH GARY BUSEY? 494 00:13:38,229 --> 00:13:38,757 ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 495 00:13:38,758 --> 00:13:40,216 MAYBE WE SHOULD GO BACK TO THE 496 00:13:40,218 --> 00:13:40,593 HORSE. 497 00:13:40,627 --> 00:13:42,590 I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THIS INTERNET 498 00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:42,774 THING. 499 00:13:42,808 --> 00:13:43,587 BUT THE POINT IS, TODAY IT’S 500 00:13:43,621 --> 00:13:44,239 UNDERSTOOD THAT A STATE’S 501 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:44,952 ELECTORS WILL VOTE FOR THE 502 00:13:44,987 --> 00:13:47,210 CANDIDATE WHO WON THEIR STATE’S 503 00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:48,218 POPULAR VOTE. 504 00:13:48,253 --> 00:13:49,733 THE ONLY PROBLEM IS THAT’S JUST 505 00:13:49,767 --> 00:13:51,278 AN UNDERSTANDING, NOT AN ACTUAL 506 00:13:51,312 --> 00:13:52,046 LAW. 507 00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:54,191 ACCORDING TO THE NATIONAL 508 00:13:54,192 --> 00:13:55,524 ARCHIVES, THERE IS NO 509 00:13:55,558 --> 00:13:56,573 CONSTITUTIONAL PROVISION OR 510 00:13:56,607 --> 00:13:57,734 FEDERAL LAW THAT REQUIRES 511 00:13:57,735 --> 00:13:59,127 ELECTORS TO VOTE ACCORDING TO 512 00:13:59,162 --> 00:14:01,496 THEIR RESULTS OF THE POPULAR 513 00:14:01,497 --> 00:14:02,475 VOTE IN THEIR STATE. 514 00:14:02,510 --> 00:14:03,513 THOSE WHO DON’T FOLLOW THE 515 00:14:03,547 --> 00:14:04,692 WISH, THE WILL OF THE 516 00:14:04,693 --> 00:14:10,463 ELECTORATE, THEY’RE CALLED 517 00:14:10,497 --> 00:14:11,390 FAITHLESS ELECTORS. 518 00:14:11,391 --> 00:14:13,944 IN 2016, FOUR OF THE 12 519 00:14:13,945 --> 00:14:15,074 ELECTORS IN WASHINGTON CHOSE NOT 520 00:14:15,109 --> 00:14:15,895 TO VOTE FOR HILLARY CLINTON, 521 00:14:15,930 --> 00:14:18,336 DESPITE CLINTON WINNING THE 522 00:14:18,370 --> 00:14:19,806 POPULAR VOTE IN THE STATE. 523 00:14:19,841 --> 00:14:20,810 INSTEAD, THREE VOTED FOR 524 00:14:20,844 --> 00:14:21,775 COLIN POWELL AND ONE VOTED FOR 525 00:14:21,809 --> 00:14:22,412 THE NATIVE ACTIVIST FAITH 526 00:14:22,414 --> 00:14:24,234 SPOTTED EAGLE. 527 00:14:24,236 --> 00:14:26,578 IT ISN’T A NEW CONCEPT. 528 00:14:26,613 --> 00:14:27,750 ACCORDING TO "FAIR VOTE," THERE 529 00:14:27,785 --> 00:14:28,563 HAVE BEEN 167 FAITHLESS ELECTORS 530 00:14:28,598 --> 00:14:29,630 SINCE THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE WAS 531 00:14:29,665 --> 00:14:30,128 FOUNDED. 532 00:14:30,163 --> 00:14:31,536 43% CHANGED THEIR VOTE BECAUSE 533 00:14:31,570 --> 00:14:33,803 THE CANDIDATE THEY WERE SUPPOSED 534 00:14:33,804 --> 00:14:38,053 TO VOTE FOR DIED BEFORE THE 535 00:14:38,087 --> 00:14:39,250 ELECTORAL COLLEGE COULD VOTE. 536 00:14:39,284 --> 00:14:40,474 40% CHOSE TO VOTE FOR THE 537 00:14:40,508 --> 00:14:41,505 CANDIDATE THEY WANTED RATHER 538 00:14:41,540 --> 00:14:42,257 THAN MATCHING THE POPULAR VOTE. 539 00:14:42,292 --> 00:14:43,886 17% EITHER DIDNT VOTE OR CAST AN 540 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:44,486 ABNORMAL BALLOT. 541 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:49,290 IN THE 2004 ELECTION, RATHER 542 00:14:49,292 --> 00:14:51,434 THAN CASTING THEIR VOTE FOR JOHN 543 00:14:51,468 --> 00:14:52,552 KERRY, THE UNKNOWN ELECTOR CAST 544 00:14:52,553 --> 00:14:53,273 THEIR VOTE FOR KERRY’S V.P., 545 00:14:53,274 --> 00:14:54,210 JOHN EDWARDS, AND ALSO 546 00:14:54,245 --> 00:14:56,362 MISSPELLED EDWARD’S NAME AS 547 00:14:56,397 --> 00:14:56,777 "EWARDS." 548 00:14:56,811 --> 00:14:59,282 Trevor: wow. 549 00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:01,211 SO THE FOUNDERS JUST LET 550 00:15:01,212 --> 00:15:03,335 LEGISLATORS DO WHATEVER THEY 551 00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:03,612 WANT. 552 00:15:03,614 --> 00:15:04,465 THEY CAN CHOOSE SOMEONE THE 553 00:15:04,466 --> 00:15:04,985 PEOPLE DIDN’T VOTE FOR. 554 00:15:05,019 --> 00:15:05,722 THEY CAN VOTE FOR A THIRD PARTY. 555 00:15:05,723 --> 00:15:06,922 THEN CAN EVEN JUST VOTE FOR A 556 00:15:06,924 --> 00:15:07,086 TYPO! 557 00:15:07,087 --> 00:15:08,152 I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT A GIANT 558 00:15:08,186 --> 00:15:09,916 FLAW IN THE AMERICAN ELECTORAL 559 00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:12,466 SYSTEM THIS IS. 560 00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:14,477 IT’S LIKE FINDING OUT THEY KEEP 561 00:15:14,512 --> 00:15:16,195 A KEY TO FORT KNOX UNDER THE 562 00:15:16,229 --> 00:15:16,370 DOORMAT. 563 00:15:16,405 --> 00:15:17,315 AND JUST, BY THE WAY, I DON’T 564 00:15:17,349 --> 00:15:18,419 KNOW IF WE SHOULD BE HOLDING 565 00:15:18,453 --> 00:15:19,676 VOTERS ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE 566 00:15:19,677 --> 00:15:21,490 CORRECT SPELLING OF NAMES, 567 00:15:21,491 --> 00:15:22,769 I DON’T THINK THAT’S FAIR. 568 00:15:22,803 --> 00:15:23,700 ESPECIALLY IN A COUNTRY THAT’S 569 00:15:23,735 --> 00:15:25,957 GOT A HUNDRED DIFFERENT WAYS TO 570 00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:26,965 SPELL "ALLISON." 571 00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:30,617 HOW DO YOU HAVE FOUR "L"s IN 572 00:15:30,618 --> 00:15:31,486 YOUR NAME, ALISON. 573 00:15:31,488 --> 00:15:32,700 NOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE DO REALIZE 574 00:15:32,734 --> 00:15:34,161 THAT THIS SYSTEM IS A PROBLEM. 575 00:15:34,195 --> 00:15:35,467 IN FACT, STATES WERE RECENTLY 576 00:15:35,469 --> 00:15:36,429 GIVEN THE POWER TO REQUIRE 577 00:15:36,430 --> 00:15:38,920 ELECTORS TO FOLLOW THE WILL OF 578 00:15:38,954 --> 00:15:40,264 THE PEOPLE. 579 00:15:40,265 --> 00:15:43,165 UNFORTUNATELY, VERY FEW OF THEM 580 00:15:43,166 --> 00:15:43,667 ACTUALLY DO. 581 00:15:43,668 --> 00:15:45,637 IN THE PAST TERM, THE SUPREME 582 00:15:45,672 --> 00:15:47,326 COURT UPHELD THE RIGHT OF THE 583 00:15:47,328 --> 00:15:49,799 STATES TO INSIST THAT ELECTORS 584 00:15:49,833 --> 00:15:53,501 VOTE FOR THE PERSON WHO WON THE 585 00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:54,652 POPULAR VOTE, BUT HERE’S THE 586 00:15:54,686 --> 00:15:56,057 DEAL: ONLY 14 OF THOSE 50 STATES 587 00:15:56,058 --> 00:15:57,481 ACTUALLY HAVE THAT LEGAL 588 00:15:57,482 --> 00:15:58,035 REQUIREMENT. 589 00:15:58,069 --> 00:16:00,990 IN THOSE 14 STATES, IF A 590 00:16:00,991 --> 00:16:02,506 FAITHLESS ELECTOR GOES ROGUE, 591 00:16:02,507 --> 00:16:03,878 THE STATE CAN THROW THEM OUT ON 592 00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:05,516 THE STREET AND GET SOMEONE ELSE 593 00:16:05,517 --> 00:16:06,590 IN TO VOTE ACCORDING TO THE 594 00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:07,880 POPULAR VOTE. 595 00:16:07,881 --> 00:16:10,356 BUT IN ALL THE REST OF THE 596 00:16:10,357 --> 00:16:11,409 STATES, IF A FAITHLESS ELECTOR 597 00:16:11,410 --> 00:16:13,565 GOES OFF ON THEIR OWN TOOT, 598 00:16:13,566 --> 00:16:15,763 THERE’S NOTHING THE STATE CAN DO 599 00:16:15,764 --> 00:16:19,463 ABOUT IT EXCEPT FINE THEM. 600 00:16:19,497 --> 00:16:20,557 Trevor: really? 601 00:16:20,591 --> 00:16:22,610 ELECTORS CAN SUBVERT THE WILL OF 602 00:16:22,611 --> 00:16:24,195 THE VOTERS AND UNDERMINE THE 603 00:16:24,196 --> 00:16:25,435 BASIS OF DEMOCRACY, AND THEIR 604 00:16:25,436 --> 00:16:26,886 PUNISHMENT IS THE SAME AS 605 00:16:26,887 --> 00:16:27,905 PARKING IN FRONT OF A FIRE 606 00:16:27,906 --> 00:16:28,280 HYDRANT? 607 00:16:28,281 --> 00:16:30,383 IN FACT, PARKING IN FRONT OF A 608 00:16:30,417 --> 00:16:31,829 HYDRANT IS EVEN WORSE. 609 00:16:31,830 --> 00:16:34,018 YOU DON’T JUST GET A FINE, YOU 610 00:16:34,051 --> 00:16:35,124 GET TOED. 611 00:16:35,125 --> 00:16:36,812 CHARGES SOMEONE $1,000 FOR 612 00:16:36,813 --> 00:16:38,535 GIVING THE PRESIDENCY TO SOMEONE 613 00:16:38,536 --> 00:16:40,892 DOESN’T MEAN THEY WON’T DO IT. 614 00:16:40,893 --> 00:16:42,698 IT JUST MEANS THE BIDDING STARTS 615 00:16:42,733 --> 00:16:44,022 AT $1,000. 616 00:16:44,023 --> 00:16:46,525 TRUMP IS DOWN SO MANY ELECTORS 617 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:48,148 IT’S UNLIKELY HE CAN GET ENOUGH 618 00:16:48,149 --> 00:16:49,214 TO VOTE FOR HIM. 619 00:16:49,248 --> 00:16:50,959 THE BAD NEWS IS IT’S EASY TO SEE 620 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,764 HOW A FUTURE ELECTION COULD BE 621 00:16:52,765 --> 00:16:54,588 CLOSE ENOUGH THAT THE LOSING 622 00:16:54,589 --> 00:16:55,735 CANDIDATES COULD CONVINCE ENOUGH 623 00:16:55,770 --> 00:16:56,894 ELECTORS TO MAKE THEM THE 624 00:16:56,895 --> 00:16:57,525 WINNING CANDIDATES. 625 00:16:57,559 --> 00:16:59,376 AND IT WOULD BE TOTALLY LEGAL. 626 00:16:59,411 --> 00:17:01,931 SO JUST A WARNING TO ALL THE 627 00:17:01,965 --> 00:17:04,413 STATES OUT THERE: YOU GUYS MIGHT 628 00:17:04,448 --> 00:17:06,485 WANT TO FIRM UP YOUR LAWS ABOUT 629 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:07,474 FAITHLESS LEGISLATORS, BECAUSE 630 00:17:07,508 --> 00:17:09,640 TRUMP MIGHT NOT SUCCEED THIS 631 00:17:09,641 --> 00:17:12,339 TIME, BUT IT’S ONLY A MATTER OF 632 00:17:12,340 --> 00:17:14,731 TIME BEFORE DON JR. RUNS. 633 00:17:14,732 --> 00:17:16,337 AND GOD HELP US ALL IF THAT 634 00:17:16,371 --> 00:17:17,414 CHILLLESS ( BLEEP ) EVER GETS 635 00:17:17,449 --> 00:17:18,859 INTO THE WHITE HOUSE. 636 00:17:18,893 --> 00:17:20,427 SO THOSE ARE THE ELECTORS AND 637 00:17:20,461 --> 00:17:21,368 THAT’S HOW THEY CAN CHANGE THE 638 00:17:21,369 --> 00:17:21,941 GAME. 639 00:17:21,942 --> 00:17:23,999 AND IF YOU DON’T KNOW, NOW YOU 640 00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:24,361 KNOW. 641 00:17:24,395 --> 00:17:25,797 STICK AROUND, BECAUSE WHEN WE 642 00:17:25,832 --> 00:17:27,718 COME BACK, JORDAN KLEPPER GOES 643 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:29,560 TO THE MAGA RALLY IN D.C. 644 00:17:29,594 --> 00:17:31,714 AND KEVIN HART TELLS US WHY HE’S 645 00:17:31,748 --> 00:17:33,690 QUITTING EVERYTHING. YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS IT. 646 00:17:36,772 --> 00:17:37,980 THE "THE DAILY SOCIAL DISTANCING 647 00:17:37,981 --> 00:17:38,373 SHOW." 648 00:17:38,407 --> 00:17:40,837 Last Saturday, Washington, D.C. 649 00:17:40,872 --> 00:17:43,566 was the site of the million MAGA 650 00:17:43,567 --> 00:17:45,209 march, which was thousands of 651 00:17:45,210 --> 00:17:46,640 angry, fired up people refusing 652 00:17:46,641 --> 00:17:47,830 to believe the results of the 653 00:17:47,864 --> 00:17:48,453 election. 654 00:17:48,454 --> 00:17:50,704 SO, OF COURSE, WE SENT OUR VERY 655 00:17:50,739 --> 00:17:52,194 OWN JORDAN KLEPPER THERE TO CHAT 656 00:17:52,195 --> 00:17:53,072 WITH THEM. 657 00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:56,086 AND HE FILED THIS VERY TENSE 658 00:17:56,087 --> 00:17:57,986 EDITION OF "JORDAN FINGERS THE 659 00:17:58,020 --> 00:18:00,351 PULSE." 660 00:18:00,352 --> 00:18:03,811 ♪ ♪ ♪ 661 00:18:03,812 --> 00:18:06,031 TRUMP’S PEOPLE WERE 662 00:18:06,032 --> 00:18:08,118 GATHERING, SO I WENT TO 663 00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:10,027 WASHINGTON, D.C., TO THE 664 00:18:10,061 --> 00:18:11,444 SELF-PROCLAIMED AND SELF-COUNTED 665 00:18:11,478 --> 00:18:13,507 MILLION MAGA MARCH, WHERE MOMS 666 00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:16,424 FOR TRUMP, MAGA DADS, AND FREE 667 00:18:16,458 --> 00:18:17,257 JAZZ INSTRUMENTALISTS FOR 668 00:18:17,291 --> 00:18:18,426 TRUMP... 669 00:18:18,427 --> 00:18:20,537 ♪ ♪ ♪ 670 00:18:20,572 --> 00:18:22,105 ...CONVERGED TO DO WHAT, 671 00:18:22,139 --> 00:18:22,789 EXACTLY? 672 00:18:22,790 --> 00:18:25,782 WE ARE HERE TO CELEBRATE THE 673 00:18:25,784 --> 00:18:27,535 WINNING OF DONALD TRUMP. 674 00:18:27,569 --> 00:18:29,769 YOU’RE FOUR YEARS TOO LATE? 675 00:18:29,803 --> 00:18:30,812 HUH? 676 00:18:30,847 --> 00:18:32,754 YOU’RE FOUR YEARS TOO LATE. 677 00:18:32,755 --> 00:18:33,716 WHAT? 678 00:18:33,718 --> 00:18:34,953 NO, NO, NO. 679 00:18:34,954 --> 00:18:36,683 HE IS-- HE WON THIS TIME. 680 00:18:36,717 --> 00:18:37,672 THIS TIME? 681 00:18:37,673 --> 00:18:39,191 HE WON. 682 00:18:39,193 --> 00:18:40,389 ♪ ♪ ♪ 683 00:18:40,391 --> 00:18:42,173 NOT THE SIZE OF THE FLAG THAT 684 00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:42,644 MATTERS. 685 00:18:42,645 --> 00:18:44,598 IT’S HOW MANY VOTES YOU GET IN 686 00:18:44,632 --> 00:18:45,523 THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE SYSTEM. 687 00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:47,036 THEY WERE HERE TO CELEBRATE THE 688 00:18:47,037 --> 00:18:48,842 FACT THAT AMERICA IS A RICH, 689 00:18:48,843 --> 00:18:51,229 DIVERSE NATION, WITH SO MANY 690 00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:52,297 DIFFERENT KINDS OF ALLEGED 691 00:18:52,331 --> 00:18:53,548 ELECTION FRAUD. 692 00:18:53,583 --> 00:18:55,161 THERE’S PEOPLE-- THERE’S 693 00:18:55,195 --> 00:18:56,614 PEOPLE THAT’S CHANGING VOTES. 694 00:18:56,615 --> 00:18:57,393 WHO? 695 00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:58,276 PEOPLE-- ACROSS-- 696 00:18:58,310 --> 00:18:58,751 WHO? 697 00:18:58,753 --> 00:18:59,972 ACROSS THE UNITED STATES. 698 00:18:59,974 --> 00:19:01,033 WHERE DID YOU HEAR THIS? 699 00:19:01,067 --> 00:19:01,946 ALL OVER. 700 00:19:01,948 --> 00:19:03,811 WE CAN’T IGNORE IT. 701 00:19:03,845 --> 00:19:05,225 WE’RE TALKING ABOUT HAVING DEAD 702 00:19:05,226 --> 00:19:07,002 PEOPLE VOTE, NUMBER ONE. 703 00:19:07,003 --> 00:19:08,510 SHOULD TRUMP HAVE APPEALED 704 00:19:08,511 --> 00:19:10,570 MORE TO THE DEAD PERSON VOTE? 705 00:19:10,605 --> 00:19:11,982 SHOULD HE APPEAL-- WE JUST 706 00:19:11,983 --> 00:19:13,329 NEED FAIRNESS. 707 00:19:13,364 --> 00:19:15,897 TO ME THE BIGGEST FRAUD IS, 708 00:19:15,898 --> 00:19:19,328 UNFORTUNATELY, THE MILLIONS OF 709 00:19:19,363 --> 00:19:22,836 VOTERS THAT VOTED FOR BIDEN THAT 710 00:19:22,837 --> 00:19:23,445 WERE... 711 00:19:23,479 --> 00:19:25,495 BRAINWASHED BY THE MEDIA. 712 00:19:25,529 --> 00:19:27,160 ... STAND ON YOUR FLAG? 713 00:19:27,673 --> 00:19:28,928 IT’S A BIG FLAG. 714 00:19:28,962 --> 00:19:30,522 PLEASE DON’T STAND ON IT. 715 00:19:30,523 --> 00:19:31,612 IT’S ALSO NOT AN AMERICAN 716 00:19:31,614 --> 00:19:31,819 FLAG. 717 00:19:31,853 --> 00:19:33,355 THERE ARE STARS AND STRIPES 718 00:19:33,356 --> 00:19:34,715 ON IT, BROTHER. 719 00:19:34,749 --> 00:19:36,143 I JUST APPRECIATE IT IF YOU 720 00:19:36,145 --> 00:19:37,728 DON’T STAND ON IT. 721 00:19:37,762 --> 00:19:39,583 I FEEL LIKE IT’S DONALD TRUMP 722 00:19:39,584 --> 00:19:40,986 OBSECURING-- TO BE HONEST, IF 723 00:19:40,987 --> 00:19:42,604 ANYBODY IS DISRESPECTING THE 724 00:19:42,638 --> 00:19:43,793 FLAG I THINK IT’S THE 725 00:19:43,827 --> 00:19:44,970 10-FOOT-HIGH DONALD TRUMP. 726 00:19:44,971 --> 00:19:46,522 I HAVE AN ANALOGY. 727 00:19:46,523 --> 00:19:47,658 IN THE N.F.L., THERE’S A CLOSE 728 00:19:47,659 --> 00:19:48,102 PLAY. 729 00:19:48,136 --> 00:19:49,393 WHAT DO THEY DO? 730 00:19:49,394 --> 00:19:51,143 THEY REVIEW IT, RIGHT? 731 00:19:51,177 --> 00:19:53,127 SOMETIMES IT TAKES THEM 15 732 00:19:53,161 --> 00:19:53,527 MINUTES. 733 00:19:53,528 --> 00:19:55,261 IT DELAYS THE GAME. 734 00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:56,736 THEY HAVE TO LOOK AT EVERY 735 00:19:56,771 --> 00:19:57,087 TECHNICALITY. 736 00:19:57,088 --> 00:19:58,427 I HAVE AN NATIONAL. 737 00:19:58,462 --> 00:20:00,441 IT’S THE N.F.L., THERE’S A GAME, 738 00:20:00,442 --> 00:20:02,259 THE LIONS VERSUS THE PACKERS, 739 00:20:02,261 --> 00:20:03,268 THE LIONS LOSE, EVERYBODY GOES 740 00:20:03,269 --> 00:20:03,624 HOME. 741 00:20:03,625 --> 00:20:06,509 BUT THE LIONS STAY ON THE FIELD 742 00:20:06,510 --> 00:20:07,912 AND SAY, "WE DIDN’T LOSE." 743 00:20:07,947 --> 00:20:10,754 AND EVERYBODY SAYS, "IF YOU LOOK 744 00:20:10,788 --> 00:20:12,521 AT THE SCORE BOARD" AND THEY DID 745 00:20:12,522 --> 00:20:12,762 UH-UH. 746 00:20:12,764 --> 00:20:14,107 HE DIDN’T LOSE. 747 00:20:14,108 --> 00:20:16,071 HE HAD LESS VOTES. 748 00:20:16,072 --> 00:20:18,125 YOU TAKE CALIFORNIA OUT OF 749 00:20:18,126 --> 00:20:19,285 THE EQUATION AND HE WINS THE 750 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:19,867 NATIONAL. 751 00:20:19,901 --> 00:20:21,505 IF YOU DISCOUNT CERTAIN 752 00:20:21,540 --> 00:20:22,605 PEOPLE, THE NUMBERS ADD UP IN 753 00:20:22,606 --> 00:20:23,083 YOUR FAVOR. 754 00:20:23,118 --> 00:20:23,887 OKAY. 755 00:20:23,921 --> 00:20:27,441 YOU WANT A FLAG. 756 00:20:27,475 --> 00:20:29,919 STOP THE STEAL, ( BLEEP ) 757 00:20:29,953 --> 00:20:30,411 BRO. 758 00:20:30,413 --> 00:20:31,892 THEY STOLE IT BLATANTLY. 759 00:20:31,926 --> 00:20:33,364 WHAT’S THE EVIDENCE? 760 00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:34,699 THE MAIL-IN BALLOTS. 761 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,643 FIRST OF ALL, WE ALL KNOW THE 762 00:20:37,677 --> 00:20:39,640 CORONA WAS TO SEND THE MAIL-IN 763 00:20:39,675 --> 00:20:41,174 BALLOTS OUT ALONG WITH THE 764 00:20:41,175 --> 00:20:42,323 VOTING MACHINES ARE COMPROMISED. 765 00:20:42,357 --> 00:20:43,568 WAIT WARKT, THE CORONA WAS 766 00:20:43,603 --> 00:20:44,139 CREATED TO-- 767 00:20:44,140 --> 00:20:45,832 THE DEMOCRATS ARE WORKING 768 00:20:45,834 --> 00:20:49,260 WITH THE COMMUNIST CHINESE TO 769 00:20:49,261 --> 00:20:51,178 PUT BIDEN IN BECAUSE CHINA HAS 770 00:20:51,180 --> 00:20:52,061 BLACKMAIL ON JOE BIDEN. 771 00:20:52,095 --> 00:20:53,497 THAT IS A FACT. 772 00:20:53,531 --> 00:20:54,919 DO YOU HAVE THAT ON ANY 773 00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:55,187 T-SHIRTS? 774 00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:56,225 NO. 775 00:20:56,260 --> 00:20:57,648 PEOPLE ARE STEALING OUR 776 00:20:57,682 --> 00:20:57,886 ELECTION. 777 00:20:57,921 --> 00:20:58,472 IT’S OBVIOUS. 778 00:20:58,507 --> 00:20:59,719 THIS IS OUR COUNTRY. 779 00:20:59,721 --> 00:21:00,496 PEOPLE ARE STEALING OUR 780 00:21:00,497 --> 00:21:00,804 ELECTION. 781 00:21:00,838 --> 00:21:01,995 HOW ARE THEY STEALING THE 782 00:21:02,030 --> 00:21:02,763 ELECTION? 783 00:21:02,764 --> 00:21:04,736 THEY’RE PUTTING VOTER FRAUD, 784 00:21:04,737 --> 00:21:05,682 IT’S SUSPICIOUS. 785 00:21:05,683 --> 00:21:07,175 HOW ARE THEY PUTTING VOTER 786 00:21:07,176 --> 00:21:07,873 FRAUD. 787 00:21:07,908 --> 00:21:09,512 THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND 788 00:21:09,513 --> 00:21:10,672 SECURITY SAID IT’S THE MOST 789 00:21:10,706 --> 00:21:11,351 SECURE ELECTION. 790 00:21:11,385 --> 00:21:12,615 THAT’S ONE GUY LIKE YOU AND 791 00:21:12,649 --> 00:21:12,979 ME. 792 00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:13,809 THAT’S DONALD TRUMP’S 793 00:21:13,843 --> 00:21:14,430 DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY 794 00:21:14,464 --> 00:21:14,833 SECURITY. 795 00:21:14,867 --> 00:21:16,841 AND BECAUSE ONE PERSON SAYS 796 00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:17,443 SOMETHING THAT’S-- THAT’S 797 00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:18,934 DEFINITELY MEANS WHAT IT IS. 798 00:21:18,968 --> 00:21:20,487 THAT’S THE GOVERNMENT, AND 799 00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:21,521 THE COURTS -- TRUMP LAWYER’S 800 00:21:21,555 --> 00:21:22,941 SAID THERE’S NO FRAUD. 801 00:21:22,975 --> 00:21:25,549 DON’T TRY TO TWIST IT, BABY. 802 00:21:25,550 --> 00:21:26,753 I’VE BEEN IN POLITICS A LONG 803 00:21:26,754 --> 00:21:27,298 TIME. 804 00:21:27,332 --> 00:21:29,018 YOU’RE IN POLITICS. 805 00:21:29,052 --> 00:21:30,736 I AM THE REGIONAL TEA PARTY 806 00:21:30,738 --> 00:21:31,062 CHAIRMAN. 807 00:21:31,096 --> 00:21:33,061 YOU’RE THE TEA PARTY. 808 00:21:33,062 --> 00:21:36,546 I’M THE TEA PARTY, BABY. 809 00:21:36,580 --> 00:21:38,681 I’M THE REGIONAL TEA PARTY 810 00:21:38,683 --> 00:21:40,029 LEADER IN THE PITTSBURGH REGION. 811 00:21:40,030 --> 00:21:41,155 WE ARE PATRIOTS! 812 00:21:41,156 --> 00:21:43,266 YOU’RE YELLING AT ME TO FIND 813 00:21:43,267 --> 00:21:45,106 A SAFE SPACE AND YOU ELEVATED 814 00:21:45,107 --> 00:21:46,073 YOURSELF A MEGAPHONE AND YOU 815 00:21:46,107 --> 00:21:47,365 HAVE A SHIELD. 816 00:21:47,399 --> 00:21:48,650 THEY WERE HAVING TROUBLE FACING 817 00:21:48,651 --> 00:21:50,598 REALITY AT HAND, THOUGH THERE 818 00:21:50,599 --> 00:21:51,528 WERE OCCASIONAL SIGNS OF 819 00:21:51,530 --> 00:21:51,977 PROGRESS. 820 00:21:52,011 --> 00:21:53,730 SOMETHING FITTING ABOUT A U-HAUL 821 00:21:53,731 --> 00:21:54,791 TRUCK HERE. 822 00:21:54,792 --> 00:21:57,612 YET, NO ONE SEEMS TO ACKNOWLEDGE 823 00:21:57,646 --> 00:21:58,718 TRUMP’S LEGAL DEFENSE IS 824 00:21:58,719 --> 00:21:59,363 CRUMBLING. 825 00:21:59,364 --> 00:22:01,187 DID DOESN’T MATTER, THOUGH. 826 00:22:01,188 --> 00:22:02,783 FOR SOME OF THESE GUYS, THE 827 00:22:02,817 --> 00:22:03,696 BATTLE NEVER ENDS. 828 00:22:03,731 --> 00:22:04,697 THAT’S TRUMP ON THE 829 00:22:04,699 --> 00:22:05,570 CONFEDERATE FLAG. 830 00:22:05,571 --> 00:22:06,834 THAT’S THE CONFEDERATE FLAG, 831 00:22:06,835 --> 00:22:07,238 YEAH! 832 00:22:07,273 --> 00:22:08,506 SEE THAT, CNN! 833 00:22:08,541 --> 00:22:09,887 SEE THAT! 834 00:22:09,888 --> 00:22:12,461 DIXIE STILL LIVES! 835 00:22:12,495 --> 00:22:15,707 BUD BUDDY, YOU DON’T KNOW HOW 836 00:22:15,708 --> 00:22:16,737 PICK A WINNER. 837 00:22:16,771 --> 00:22:18,014 YOU MIGHT WALZ PUT A JETS HAT 838 00:22:18,048 --> 00:22:18,428 ON. 839 00:22:18,463 --> 00:22:20,270 IF THEY DON’T TRUST THE 840 00:22:20,271 --> 00:22:21,740 NARRATIVE, WHICH THE REST OF THE 841 00:22:21,742 --> 00:22:22,604 WORLD HAS SEEN, WHAT DO THEY 842 00:22:22,605 --> 00:22:22,868 TRUST? 843 00:22:22,903 --> 00:22:24,546 I TRUST TRUMP AND WHAT HE 844 00:22:24,580 --> 00:22:25,913 SAYS AND WHAT HE KNOWS. 845 00:22:25,914 --> 00:22:26,836 I DON’T TRUST THE MEDIA THAT 846 00:22:26,838 --> 00:22:27,223 MUCH. 847 00:22:27,224 --> 00:22:28,568 THE ONLY PERSON YOU BELIEVE 848 00:22:28,569 --> 00:22:29,554 IS DONALD TRUMP HIMSELF. 849 00:22:29,555 --> 00:22:31,385 THAT’S NOT THE ONLY PERSON I 850 00:22:31,419 --> 00:22:31,938 KNOW. 851 00:22:31,939 --> 00:22:33,844 HOELSE DO YOU BELIEVE? 852 00:22:33,879 --> 00:22:35,862 ULTIMATELY I BELIEVE JESUS IS 853 00:22:35,863 --> 00:22:36,964 KING AND THE BIBLE. 854 00:22:36,965 --> 00:22:38,481 THAT’S TWO, JESUS AND TRUMP. 855 00:22:38,483 --> 00:22:41,052 I TRUST A LOT OF PEOPLE, MY 856 00:22:41,053 --> 00:22:41,831 FRIENDS, MY FAMILY, TUCKER 857 00:22:41,833 --> 00:22:42,593 CARLSON. 858 00:22:42,594 --> 00:22:44,459 TUCKER CARLSON, JESUS, AND 859 00:22:44,460 --> 00:22:45,110 DONALD TRUMP. 860 00:22:45,112 --> 00:22:45,805 AND MORE. 861 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:47,066 I CAN GO ON AND ON. 862 00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:47,970 NO, I THINK I GET THE 863 00:22:48,005 --> 00:22:48,270 PICTURE. 864 00:22:48,305 --> 00:22:50,646 WE USED LIKE FOX. 865 00:22:50,681 --> 00:22:52,319 WE DON’T LIKE FOX. 866 00:22:52,354 --> 00:22:54,286 WE DON’T LIKE MSNBC, WE DON’T 867 00:22:54,287 --> 00:22:55,439 LIKE CBS. 868 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:57,730 -- WE DON’T LIKE ANY OF THE FAKE 869 00:22:57,731 --> 00:22:58,549 CHANNELS BECAUSE THEY LOVE ALL 870 00:22:58,550 --> 00:23:00,332 THE TIME. 871 00:23:00,366 --> 00:23:02,211 WHAT ABOUT FOX? 872 00:23:02,212 --> 00:23:03,904 HANNITY, AND TUCKER. 873 00:23:03,938 --> 00:23:06,004 JUST TWO HOURS OF FOX NEWS, 874 00:23:06,038 --> 00:23:07,121 AND OTHERWISE IT’S A BOYCOTT. ABSOLUTELY. 875 00:23:07,155 --> 00:23:08,360 ABSOLUTELY. 876 00:23:08,361 --> 00:23:15,560 EVEN FOX WASN’T WELCOMAL THIS 877 00:23:15,595 --> 00:23:16,913 MAGA-PA-LOSA. 878 00:23:16,914 --> 00:23:18,182 ANTIFA! 879 00:23:18,216 --> 00:23:18,846 ANTIFA! 880 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:21,638 SIGNALING THE END OF AN ERA 881 00:23:21,673 --> 00:23:22,618 COMPLETE WITH ACTUAL KNIFE 882 00:23:22,619 --> 00:23:23,048 VIOLENCE. 883 00:23:23,049 --> 00:23:24,424 ARE YOU GUYS THE LIBERAL 884 00:23:24,425 --> 00:23:25,186 MEDIA? 885 00:23:25,221 --> 00:23:27,557 I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU. 886 00:23:27,592 --> 00:23:29,144 YOU ARE CONTROLLED BY THE DEEP 887 00:23:29,179 --> 00:23:29,628 STATE-- 888 00:23:29,629 --> 00:23:31,357 THAT’S FOUR, FIVE, SIX WORDS, 889 00:23:31,392 --> 00:23:31,815 10 WORDS. 890 00:23:31,817 --> 00:23:33,619 ( BLEEP ) YOU. 891 00:23:33,621 --> 00:23:35,333 THAT’S EVEN TWO, THAT ONE IS 892 00:23:35,368 --> 00:23:36,086 EVEN TRUE. 893 00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:37,085 FAKE NEWS! 894 00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:37,665 FAKE NEWS! 895 00:23:37,700 --> 00:23:39,277 ( BLEEP ). 896 00:23:39,311 --> 00:23:41,395 AND I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU 897 00:23:41,396 --> 00:23:43,017 FAKE NEWS-- ( BLEEP ) YOU. 898 00:23:43,051 --> 00:23:45,361 THE SILENT MAJORITY I? 899 00:23:45,363 --> 00:23:47,291 TWO WORDS, THAT’S TWO WORDS. 900 00:23:47,292 --> 00:23:48,906 ( BLEEP ) YOU! 901 00:23:48,907 --> 00:23:51,816 CAN NO ONE IN THE MAGA WORLD 902 00:23:51,850 --> 00:23:52,137 COUNT? 903 00:23:52,138 --> 00:23:53,575 Trevor: thank you so much 904 00:23:53,610 --> 00:23:54,326 for that Jordan. 905 00:23:54,361 --> 00:23:56,465 I’M GLAD YOU WERE ABLE TO MAKE 906 00:23:56,500 --> 00:23:57,198 NEW FRIENDS. 907 00:23:57,199 --> 00:23:58,896 ALL RIGHT, STICK AROUND, BECAUSE 908 00:23:58,930 --> 00:24:00,193 WHEN WE COME BACK, KEVIN HART IS 909 00:24:00,227 --> 00:24:01,471 GOING TO BE JOINING US ON THE 910 00:24:01,505 --> 00:24:02,254 SHOW AND IT’S GOING TO BE A 911 00:24:02,255 --> 00:24:03,511 BLAST. YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS IT. 912 00:24:05,234 --> 00:24:05,827 Show." 913 00:24:05,828 --> 00:24:08,304 MY GUEST TONIGHT IS THE KEVIN 914 00:24:08,306 --> 00:24:08,633 HART. 915 00:24:08,667 --> 00:24:10,607 HE JOINED ME ON THE SHOW TO TALK 916 00:24:10,608 --> 00:24:13,351 ABOUT THE ACCIDENT THAT CHANGED 917 00:24:13,385 --> 00:24:16,278 HIS LIFE, AND HIS LATEST NETFLIX 918 00:24:16,312 --> 00:24:17,562 COMEDY SPECIAL CALLED "ZERO 919 00:24:17,563 --> 00:24:19,301 ( BLEEP ) GIVEN." 920 00:24:19,302 --> 00:24:20,877 MY WIFE TOLD ME THE OTHER 921 00:24:20,879 --> 00:24:21,533 DAY. 922 00:24:21,534 --> 00:24:24,540 SHE SAID, "HONEY, YOUR SEX IS NO 923 00:24:24,541 --> 00:24:27,245 LONGER WHAT IT USED TO BE." 924 00:24:27,246 --> 00:24:30,080 TO MY ( BLEEP ) FACE. 925 00:24:30,082 --> 00:24:33,075 I DON’T MIND BEING HOND WITH YOU 926 00:24:33,076 --> 00:24:33,660 ALL ALL. 927 00:24:33,661 --> 00:24:35,394 TO MY ( BLEEP ) FACE. 928 00:24:35,395 --> 00:24:38,368 TOLD ME MY SEX WAS FALLING OFF. 929 00:24:38,369 --> 00:24:39,791 YOU KNOW WHAT I RESPONSE WAS, 930 00:24:39,792 --> 00:24:39,958 "HAPPENS? 931 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:40,565 " 932 00:24:40,599 --> 00:24:41,940 THAT’S WHAT I SAID. 933 00:24:41,974 --> 00:24:42,441 "HAPPENS." 934 00:24:42,443 --> 00:24:43,556 I DON’T GIVE A SHIT. 935 00:24:43,557 --> 00:24:44,843 I’M ( BLEEP ) 41. 936 00:24:44,844 --> 00:24:45,896 I DON’T HAVE TIME TO BE 937 00:24:45,930 --> 00:24:47,247 ( BLEEP ) ALL DAY. 938 00:24:47,281 --> 00:24:48,172 I’M TIRED! 939 00:24:48,173 --> 00:24:49,147 I’M TIRED! 940 00:24:49,148 --> 00:24:51,502 I DON’T BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN BE 941 00:24:51,536 --> 00:24:52,774 SUCCESSFUL AND HAVE GOOD DICK. 942 00:24:52,775 --> 00:24:53,484 I SAID IT. 943 00:24:53,485 --> 00:24:54,533 THAT’S HOW I FEEL. 944 00:24:54,534 --> 00:24:56,006 Trevor: Kevin hart, 945 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:57,140 welcome to "The Daily Social 946 00:24:57,141 --> 00:24:58,238 Distancing Show." 947 00:24:58,239 --> 00:24:59,321 NICE, NICE. 948 00:24:59,322 --> 00:25:00,392 I LIKE IT. 949 00:25:00,394 --> 00:25:02,411 I LIKE THE CREATIVE BEHIND IT. 950 00:25:02,445 --> 00:25:04,047 I LIKE THE WHOLE SOCIAL 951 00:25:04,081 --> 00:25:04,944 DISTANCING THING BUT STILL 952 00:25:04,945 --> 00:25:06,099 KEEPING IT GOING. 953 00:25:06,101 --> 00:25:07,661 I LIKE IT, TREV. 954 00:25:07,663 --> 00:25:10,356 I LIKE WHAT YOU’RE DOING. 955 00:25:10,390 --> 00:25:11,585 ( LAUGHS ) 956 00:25:11,619 --> 00:25:13,071 Trevor: man, you know 957 00:25:13,073 --> 00:25:14,362 what’s crazy about you is you 958 00:25:14,363 --> 00:25:15,169 haven’t changed. 959 00:25:15,170 --> 00:25:16,894 A LOT OF PEOPLE DON’T KNOW THIS, 960 00:25:16,896 --> 00:25:18,913 SOME OF THE DYE HARD FANS OF THE 961 00:25:18,947 --> 00:25:21,250 SHOW WOULD, BUT YOU WERE THE 962 00:25:21,285 --> 00:25:23,686 FIRST GUEST EVER ON "THE DAILY 963 00:25:23,688 --> 00:25:24,899 SHOW WITH TREVOR NOAH." 964 00:25:24,933 --> 00:25:26,863 A LOT OF PEOPLE DIDN’T WANT TO 965 00:25:26,897 --> 00:25:28,132 COME ON THE SHOW. 966 00:25:28,133 --> 00:25:29,594 KEVIN HART WAS LIKE, I’LL STICK 967 00:25:29,595 --> 00:25:30,480 MY NECK OUT. 968 00:25:30,481 --> 00:25:32,244 IT WAS A SMALL NECK, BUT YOU DID 969 00:25:32,246 --> 00:25:34,536 IT AND I APPRECIATE THAT. 970 00:25:34,570 --> 00:25:36,123 YOU ARE A COMEDIAN. 971 00:25:36,157 --> 00:25:38,031 YOU ARE A FELLOW COMIC AND I 972 00:25:38,032 --> 00:25:39,549 LIKED THE FACT THAT YOU WERE A 973 00:25:39,584 --> 00:25:41,566 COMIC COMING FROM ACROSS THE 974 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:42,814 WATER AND EMBRACING AN 975 00:25:42,815 --> 00:25:43,932 OPPORTUNITY HERE IN THE STATES. 976 00:25:43,967 --> 00:25:45,739 I THOUGHT IT WAS DOPE. 977 00:25:45,774 --> 00:25:47,097 I THOUGHT YOUR STFERS DOPE. 978 00:25:47,131 --> 00:25:48,909 AND IT WAS MORE ABOUT SUPPORTING 979 00:25:48,910 --> 00:25:50,207 YOU AND THAT PLATFORM. 980 00:25:50,242 --> 00:25:51,978 Trevor: I was shocked you 981 00:25:52,013 --> 00:25:54,149 said yes because you were 982 00:25:54,151 --> 00:25:55,159 already Kevin hart the 983 00:25:55,193 --> 00:25:55,641 superstar. 984 00:25:55,642 --> 00:25:57,736 YOU ARE TRULY, IN MY OPINION, 985 00:25:57,770 --> 00:25:58,814 THE MOST BANKABLE STAR IN 986 00:25:58,815 --> 00:25:59,692 HOLLYWOOD. 987 00:25:59,694 --> 00:26:02,847 I WATCHED MOVIES WHERE YOU GAVE 988 00:26:02,881 --> 00:26:05,086 CAMEO APPEARANCES AND GAVE 300%. 989 00:26:05,087 --> 00:26:07,453 I SAW YOU ON STAGE IN COMEDY 990 00:26:07,454 --> 00:26:09,485 CLUBS WHERE NOBODY KNEW YOUR 991 00:26:09,486 --> 00:26:11,433 NAME BUT YOU GAVE 500%. 992 00:26:11,435 --> 00:26:14,026 WHAT ARE YOU DOING NEXT, COMING 993 00:26:14,060 --> 00:26:16,117 OUT WITH A KEVIN HART VACCINE 994 00:26:16,118 --> 00:26:17,786 FOR THE PANDEMIC? 995 00:26:17,820 --> 00:26:20,149 NO, NO VACCINE IS ON THE WAY 996 00:26:20,183 --> 00:26:20,888 OR UNDERWAY. 997 00:26:20,922 --> 00:26:22,925 RIGHT NOW, MAN, IT’S CRAZY 998 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,719 BECAUSE WE-- WE WERE IN THIS-- 999 00:26:25,754 --> 00:26:28,366 THIS THING, THIS CRAZY MOMENT, 1000 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:30,003 AND I FOUND MYSELF SITTING WITH, 1001 00:26:30,037 --> 00:26:32,496 LIKE, YOU KNOW, NOTHING TO DO 1002 00:26:32,530 --> 00:26:34,436 FOR ONE OF THE FIRST TIMES IN MY 1003 00:26:34,438 --> 00:26:34,692 CAREER. 1004 00:26:34,693 --> 00:26:36,133 WHEN WE WERE SHUT DOWN, THERE 1005 00:26:36,168 --> 00:26:37,098 WAS LITERALLY NOTHING. 1006 00:26:37,132 --> 00:26:38,791 AND I TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HAVING 1007 00:26:38,825 --> 00:26:40,918 THAT TIME, OF COURSE, SPENDING 1008 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:42,320 IT WITH MY FAMILY, CHILLING. 1009 00:26:42,354 --> 00:26:44,219 AND I DECIDED TO PUT THE PEN TO 1010 00:26:44,220 --> 00:26:45,270 THE PAD AND COME UP WITH A NEW 1011 00:26:45,304 --> 00:26:45,877 SET. 1012 00:26:45,878 --> 00:26:48,288 I ENDED UP TAPING A SET DURING A 1013 00:26:48,289 --> 00:26:48,660 PANDEMIC. 1014 00:26:48,694 --> 00:26:50,712 AND NOW IT’S ABOUT TO RELEASE. 1015 00:26:50,746 --> 00:26:52,512 SO I THINK THAT’S THE THING I’M 1016 00:26:52,514 --> 00:26:53,335 LOOKING MOST FORWARD TO, SEEING 1017 00:26:53,369 --> 00:26:55,702 PEOPLE’S REACTION TO THIS 1018 00:26:55,703 --> 00:26:57,259 VERSION OF ME IN STAND-UP 1019 00:26:57,293 --> 00:26:57,690 COMEDY. 1020 00:26:57,692 --> 00:27:00,963 I LIKE TO CALL IT A RAW VERSION 1021 00:27:00,964 --> 00:27:02,490 OF MYSELF-- HENCE THE TITLE 1022 00:27:02,491 --> 00:27:03,544 "ZERO ( BLEEP ) GIVEN." 1023 00:27:03,579 --> 00:27:05,385 Trevor: I feel like 1024 00:27:05,387 --> 00:27:07,368 there’s a deeper meaning to this 1025 00:27:07,402 --> 00:27:08,761 about "zero ( BLEEP ) given." 1026 00:27:08,795 --> 00:27:09,131 ABSOLUTELY. 1027 00:27:09,132 --> 00:27:10,107 Trevor: when you were 1028 00:27:10,108 --> 00:27:12,810 talking about the accident and 1029 00:27:12,844 --> 00:27:14,881 you were talking about the lifep 1030 00:27:14,882 --> 00:27:16,895 that Kevin hart is living now, 1031 00:27:16,896 --> 00:27:18,458 talk me through some of that. 1032 00:27:18,459 --> 00:27:20,556 I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW BECAUSE THE 1033 00:27:20,557 --> 00:27:21,416 WHOLE WORLD WENT THROUGH THAT 1034 00:27:21,451 --> 00:27:21,789 MOMENT. 1035 00:27:21,790 --> 00:27:23,157 KEVIN HART, WE HEARD HIS BACK 1036 00:27:23,192 --> 00:27:24,659 MIGHT HAVE BEEN BROKEN, AND WE 1037 00:27:24,693 --> 00:27:25,536 DIDN’T KNOW IF HE WAS COMING 1038 00:27:25,538 --> 00:27:25,775 BACK. 1039 00:27:25,776 --> 00:27:27,333 AND THE NEXT THING WE KNOW YOU 1040 00:27:27,335 --> 00:27:28,247 WERE BACK AND BACK ON THE GRIND 1041 00:27:28,248 --> 00:27:28,530 AGAIN. 1042 00:27:28,565 --> 00:27:29,530 THERE WAS A MOMENT THAT WAS 1043 00:27:29,565 --> 00:27:29,993 MISSING. 1044 00:27:30,027 --> 00:27:31,380 AND THIS SPECIAL ANSWERS THAT 1045 00:27:31,382 --> 00:27:32,365 QUESTION. 1046 00:27:32,399 --> 00:27:35,813 WHAT DOES "ZERO ( BLEEP )" 1047 00:27:35,847 --> 00:27:36,653 ACTUALLY MEAN?" 1048 00:27:36,687 --> 00:27:39,013 WHEN YOU YOU HAVE A MOMENT 1049 00:27:39,014 --> 00:27:40,676 LIKE THAT, YOU PUT THINGS IN 1050 00:27:40,710 --> 00:27:42,140 PERSPECTIVE DIFFERENTLY, YOU 1051 00:27:42,141 --> 00:27:43,799 LOOK AT LIFE DIFFERENTLY. 1052 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:45,460 THE VERSION OF MYSELF 1053 00:27:45,494 --> 00:27:47,224 PREACCIDENT WAS A GUY WHO TOOK 1054 00:27:47,259 --> 00:27:48,608 THINGS FOR GRANTED. 1055 00:27:48,610 --> 00:27:51,094 I EXPECTED THINGS TO B 1056 00:27:51,095 --> 00:27:52,258 CERTAIN WAY BECAUSE THAT’S HOW 1057 00:27:52,293 --> 00:27:53,801 THEY SEEMED TO BE. 1058 00:27:53,835 --> 00:27:55,579 I WAS IN CONTROL. 1059 00:27:55,580 --> 00:27:57,632 I, I, I, I USED THAT WORD A LOT. 1060 00:27:57,666 --> 00:27:59,663 ZERO ( BLEEP ) GIVEN FOR THE 1061 00:27:59,697 --> 00:28:02,249 FIRST TIME IS HE BEING OKAY WITH 1062 00:28:02,250 --> 00:28:03,909 BEING MYSELF. 1063 00:28:03,944 --> 00:28:07,251 AND NOT EXPLAINING WHY I’M BEING 1064 00:28:07,285 --> 00:28:08,740 MYSELF, YOU KNOW. 1065 00:28:08,742 --> 00:28:11,235 IN STAND-UP COMEDY I’VE ALWAYS 1066 00:28:11,270 --> 00:28:13,564 HAD TO DO IT A CERTAIN WAY AFTER 1067 00:28:13,599 --> 00:28:15,262 A CERTAIN LEVEL OF SUCCESS 1068 00:28:15,263 --> 00:28:17,227 BECAUSE OF ALL THAT I HAVE AND 1069 00:28:17,229 --> 00:28:19,167 ALL THE PEOPLE UNDERNEATH ME 1070 00:28:19,169 --> 00:28:21,619 THAT ARE MY PYRAMID, YOU KNOW, 1071 00:28:21,653 --> 00:28:23,810 AS A C.E.O., AS A CHAIRMAN OF 1072 00:28:23,844 --> 00:28:25,288 MULTIPLE COMPANIES, YOU KNOW, 1073 00:28:25,289 --> 00:28:26,470 WHAT I DO AFFECTS SO MANY 1074 00:28:26,505 --> 00:28:26,922 OTHERS. 1075 00:28:26,957 --> 00:28:30,027 AND I’VE HAD TO WALK A CERTAIN 1076 00:28:30,028 --> 00:28:32,700 WAY, WALK ON THE STRAIGHT LINE 1077 00:28:32,735 --> 00:28:35,300 AND TRY NOT TO PUT OTHERS’ LIVES 1078 00:28:35,335 --> 00:28:37,896 IN JEOPARDY, BASED OFF OF MY 1079 00:28:37,897 --> 00:28:39,437 RECKLESS BEHAVIOR AND MISTAKES. 1080 00:28:39,438 --> 00:28:43,184 IN THIS ONE, THIS IS ABOUT ME 1081 00:28:43,185 --> 00:28:46,323 BEING OKAY WITH-- WITH NOT JUST 1082 00:28:46,324 --> 00:28:48,018 MISTAKES BUT ( BLEEP ) VERBAL 1083 00:28:48,019 --> 00:28:48,913 FREEDOM. 1084 00:28:48,914 --> 00:28:51,558 IT MEANS I’M NOT SAYING THINGS 1085 00:28:51,593 --> 00:28:53,446 AND CLOSING MY EYES BECAUSE OF 1086 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:54,726 THE CONSEQUENCES THAT’S GOING TO 1087 00:28:54,727 --> 00:28:55,347 COME WITH IT. 1088 00:28:55,348 --> 00:28:58,423 Trevor: right, I hear you. 1089 00:28:58,424 --> 00:29:00,901 DOING STAND-UP COMEDY, AND 1090 00:29:00,935 --> 00:29:02,682 I’M DOING IT BEING OBLIVIOUS OF 1091 00:29:02,716 --> 00:29:04,784 OUR CULTURE OF TODAY. 1092 00:29:04,785 --> 00:29:06,803 I DIDN’T LET TODAY’S TIMES 1093 00:29:06,804 --> 00:29:07,964 AFFECT MY DEVELOPMENT OF THIS 1094 00:29:07,965 --> 00:29:08,527 MATERIAL. 1095 00:29:08,529 --> 00:29:11,639 AND WHEN I SAY "ZERO ( BLEEP ) 1096 00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:13,328 GIVEN," IT BASICALLY MEANS, 1097 00:29:13,363 --> 00:29:15,749 GUYS, I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE 1098 00:29:15,784 --> 00:29:16,986 CONVERSATION OUTSIDE ANYMORE. 1099 00:29:16,987 --> 00:29:18,310 I’VE LOST A LITTLE BIT OF 1100 00:29:18,345 --> 00:29:18,789 PATIENCE. 1101 00:29:18,790 --> 00:29:20,700 AND I DON’T MIND TELLING YOU 1102 00:29:20,734 --> 00:29:21,608 WHY. 1103 00:29:21,609 --> 00:29:23,806 HERE’S WHY I’M A LITTLE 1104 00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:24,261 FLUSTERED. 1105 00:29:24,295 --> 00:29:25,600 HERE’S WHY I’M A LITTLE 1106 00:29:25,601 --> 00:29:25,933 FRUSTRATED. 1107 00:29:25,934 --> 00:29:28,174 HERE’S WHY THERE’S A LITTLE CHIP 1108 00:29:28,175 --> 00:29:29,424 ON MY SHOULDER. 1109 00:29:29,459 --> 00:29:31,695 HERE’S WHY I AM THE MAN THAT I 1110 00:29:31,696 --> 00:29:32,203 AM. 1111 00:29:32,237 --> 00:29:33,881 HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED WITH ME, 1112 00:29:33,883 --> 00:29:35,762 ESPECIALLY AFTER MY ACCIDENT. 1113 00:29:35,763 --> 00:29:38,006 BUT IT’S ME IN A WAY WHERE I 1114 00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:39,805 DON’T GIVE A ( BLEEP ) ABOUT HOW 1115 00:29:39,839 --> 00:29:41,158 YOU FEEL ABOUT WHAT I’M SAYING. 1116 00:29:41,192 --> 00:29:42,526 I’M SAYING IT BECAUSE I WANT TO. 1117 00:29:42,561 --> 00:29:43,541 TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT. 1118 00:29:43,575 --> 00:29:45,526 Trevor: the only concern I 1119 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:47,390 have, though, is Kevin hart is, 1120 00:29:47,392 --> 00:29:48,443 how come you’re still driving 1121 00:29:48,445 --> 00:29:49,248 those cars? 1122 00:29:49,249 --> 00:29:51,268 WHY DO YOU DRIVE CARS WITHOUT AN 1123 00:29:51,269 --> 00:29:51,824 AIR BAG? 1124 00:29:51,825 --> 00:29:53,826 THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW. 1125 00:29:53,827 --> 00:29:55,583 YOU HAVE SO MUCH MONEY, KEVIN, 1126 00:29:55,584 --> 00:29:57,704 WHY WOULD YOU GO BACKWARDS AND 1127 00:29:57,705 --> 00:29:58,867 BUY CARS THAT DON’T HAVE AIR 1128 00:29:58,868 --> 00:29:59,352 BAGS. 1129 00:29:59,387 --> 00:30:01,232 HERE’S WHY: YOU GET ONE LIFE, 1130 00:30:01,266 --> 00:30:01,811 TREVOR -- 1131 00:30:01,813 --> 00:30:03,819 THAT MEANS YOU SHOULD DRIVE A 1132 00:30:03,821 --> 00:30:04,928 CAR WITH AN AIR BAG. 1133 00:30:04,929 --> 00:30:06,428 THAT LOGIC IS FLAWED. 1134 00:30:06,429 --> 00:30:07,839 I’M GOING TO GIVE YOU MY 1135 00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:08,440 LOGIC. 1136 00:30:08,441 --> 00:30:10,998 AND IF YOU FEEL IT’S FLAWED, 1137 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:12,236 GUESS WHAT, I DON’T GIVE A 1138 00:30:12,237 --> 00:30:12,953 ( BLEEP ). 1139 00:30:12,988 --> 00:30:13,820 THAT’S PART OF THE SPECIAL. 1140 00:30:13,821 --> 00:30:14,987 THAT’S PART SPECIAL. 1141 00:30:15,021 --> 00:30:16,928 YOU KNOW WHAT, I LOVE OLD CARS. 1142 00:30:16,962 --> 00:30:18,543 I LOVE BUILDING CARS. 1143 00:30:18,577 --> 00:30:20,203 I LOVE DEVELOPING CARS FROM 1144 00:30:20,204 --> 00:30:21,619 BEGINNING, MIDDLE, TO END. 1145 00:30:21,654 --> 00:30:23,699 I LOVE MOPAR, I LOVE WHAT IT 1146 00:30:23,700 --> 00:30:25,826 MEANS, I LOVE THE MUSCLE AND 1147 00:30:25,861 --> 00:30:27,060 IDEA BEHIND IT. 1148 00:30:27,062 --> 00:30:28,454 I LOVE HAVING COLLECTORS’ ITEMS. 1149 00:30:28,488 --> 00:30:30,182 I LOVE THE FACT THAT SOME OF MY 1150 00:30:30,216 --> 00:30:31,881 CARS WILL NEVER BE DRIVEN AND 1151 00:30:31,883 --> 00:30:32,974 WILL BE PRICELESS. 1152 00:30:32,975 --> 00:30:34,760 THAT’S A HOBBY THAT I HAVE. 1153 00:30:34,761 --> 00:30:36,180 AS YOU GET OLDER YOU HAVE TO 1154 00:30:36,214 --> 00:30:37,974 FIND MORE THINGS THAT YOU CAN 1155 00:30:38,009 --> 00:30:39,273 PUT YOUR ALL INTO, THAT YOU 1156 00:30:39,307 --> 00:30:40,740 LOVE, THAT YOU ENJOY. 1157 00:30:40,775 --> 00:30:42,089 SO STAND-UP COMEDY IS ONE OF 1158 00:30:42,090 --> 00:30:42,481 THOSE THINGS. 1159 00:30:42,482 --> 00:30:43,429 Trevor: right. 1160 00:30:43,430 --> 00:30:45,111 IT’S ONE OF THOSE THINGS. 1161 00:30:45,145 --> 00:30:46,668 BUT AS YOU GET OLD ETHOSE THINGS 1162 00:30:46,703 --> 00:30:48,088 TAKE UP A LOT OF YOUR TIME. 1163 00:30:48,090 --> 00:30:49,175 AS YOU GET OLDER, YOU WANT TO BE 1164 00:30:49,210 --> 00:30:50,206 HOME MORE. 1165 00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:52,474 BUT YOU NEED HOBBIES, AND THOSE 1166 00:30:52,508 --> 00:30:53,791 HOBBIES AREN’T JUST YOUR WIFE 1167 00:30:53,826 --> 00:30:54,907 AND YOUR KIDS. 1168 00:30:54,941 --> 00:30:57,269 YOU NEED THINGS THAT OCCUPY YOUR 1169 00:30:57,304 --> 00:30:58,628 MENTAL, YOUR CREATIVE THINKING, 1170 00:30:58,629 --> 00:30:59,856 YOUR CREATIVE SPACE. 1171 00:30:59,891 --> 00:31:02,002 AND FOR ME, THAT’S A WORLD WHERE 1172 00:31:02,036 --> 00:31:03,366 I FIND JOY. 1173 00:31:03,368 --> 00:31:05,366 I’M NOT GOING TO COMPROMISE MY 1174 00:31:05,367 --> 00:31:06,905 HAPPINESS BECAUSE OF THE THOUGHT 1175 00:31:06,939 --> 00:31:08,147 OR FEELING FROM OTHERS. 1176 00:31:08,181 --> 00:31:08,997 IT MAKES ME HAPPY. 1177 00:31:08,999 --> 00:31:09,812 SO -- 1178 00:31:09,813 --> 00:31:11,674 YOU’RE JUST GOING TO BE A 1179 00:31:11,675 --> 00:31:12,493 MECHANIC, KEVIN, IS THAT WHAT 1180 00:31:12,494 --> 00:31:14,070 YOU’RE TELLING ME? 1181 00:31:14,071 --> 00:31:16,104 HEY, MAN, I’LL BE THE BEST 1182 00:31:16,139 --> 00:31:18,396 FATHER AND HUSBAND AND MECHANIC 1183 00:31:18,430 --> 00:31:19,830 AND CHILL GUY EVER. 1184 00:31:19,864 --> 00:31:21,141 ( TREVOR LAUGHING ) 1185 00:31:21,175 --> 00:31:23,172 I AM NOT-- I AM NOT GOING TO 1186 00:31:23,174 --> 00:31:24,425 BE THE ANGRY GUY. 1187 00:31:24,426 --> 00:31:25,598 Trevor: okay, okay. 1188 00:31:25,633 --> 00:31:26,866 SPEAKING OF BEING-- SPEAKING OF 1189 00:31:26,868 --> 00:31:28,996 BEING A GOOD FATHER AND BEING AT 1190 00:31:28,997 --> 00:31:29,960 HOME AND EVERYTHING, WHERE ARE 1191 00:31:29,961 --> 00:31:30,359 YOU? 1192 00:31:30,361 --> 00:31:32,771 IT FEELS LIKE YOU SNUCK INTO AN 1193 00:31:32,772 --> 00:31:33,851 ABANDONED BUILDING AND, LIKE, 1194 00:31:33,852 --> 00:31:35,614 YOU’RE DOING THIS FROM AN OFFICE 1195 00:31:35,649 --> 00:31:36,646 THAT GOT SHUT DOWN BECAUSE OF 1196 00:31:36,648 --> 00:31:36,813 COVID. 1197 00:31:36,814 --> 00:31:37,368 WHERE ARE YOU? 1198 00:31:37,369 --> 00:31:38,422 THIS IS NOT YOUR HOUSE. 1199 00:31:38,456 --> 00:31:39,122 YOU HAVE A NICE HOUSE. 1200 00:31:39,157 --> 00:31:40,395 WHERE ARE YOU? 1201 00:31:40,430 --> 00:31:43,096 I’M IN-- I’M IN TORONTO. 1202 00:31:43,097 --> 00:31:44,753 I’M IN A HOUSE-- I’M DOING A 1203 00:31:44,754 --> 00:31:45,304 MOVIE. 1204 00:31:45,338 --> 00:31:46,881 Trevor: "man from 1205 00:31:46,882 --> 00:31:47,323 Toronto." 1206 00:31:47,358 --> 00:31:48,858 YOU LOVE MAKING MOVIES. 1207 00:31:48,893 --> 00:31:50,222 I DON’T THINK YOU’LL EVER STOP 1208 00:31:50,223 --> 00:31:50,958 MAKING MOVIES. 1209 00:31:50,959 --> 00:31:53,904 I HAVE A STRONG PASSION FOR 1210 00:31:53,939 --> 00:31:57,008 IT, BUT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND 1211 00:31:57,010 --> 00:31:57,931 IT’S A PERSON-TO-PERSON 1212 00:31:57,932 --> 00:31:58,188 INTERACTION. 1213 00:31:58,189 --> 00:32:00,007 SO LOOK AT WHERE WE ARE TODAY. 1214 00:32:00,009 --> 00:32:01,722 YOU KNOW, I’M PRAYING TO GOD 1215 00:32:01,757 --> 00:32:04,641 THAT WE RECOVER, BUT I’M DOING A 1216 00:32:04,676 --> 00:32:06,028 MOVIE IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS 1217 00:32:06,063 --> 00:32:06,628 COVID PANDEMIC. 1218 00:32:06,629 --> 00:32:08,406 Trevor: right, right. 1219 00:32:08,408 --> 00:32:10,055 WE’VE GOT MASKS. 1220 00:32:10,057 --> 00:32:11,903 WE HAVE TO BE SIX FEET APART. 1221 00:32:11,904 --> 00:32:12,853 THERE’S SOCIAL DISTANCING. 1222 00:32:12,888 --> 00:32:15,176 I’M PRAYING THAT WE GET BACK TO 1223 00:32:15,177 --> 00:32:16,613 THE PLACE OF OLD AND GET OUT OF 1224 00:32:16,615 --> 00:32:17,392 THIS. 1225 00:32:17,393 --> 00:32:20,544 BUT FOR ME, I’M-- I FEED OFF THE 1226 00:32:20,578 --> 00:32:21,344 ENERGY. 1227 00:32:21,345 --> 00:32:23,026 I FEED OFF POSITIVITY. 1228 00:32:23,027 --> 00:32:24,392 THAT’S WHAT THE MOVIE BUSINESS-- 1229 00:32:24,393 --> 00:32:25,368 THAT’S WHAT IT’S DONE FOR ME. 1230 00:32:25,369 --> 00:32:26,196 Trevor: right. 1231 00:32:26,231 --> 00:32:27,520 MAKING MOVIES AND SEEING 1232 00:32:27,522 --> 00:32:29,092 PEOPLE GO WATCH THE MOVIES, GO 1233 00:32:29,094 --> 00:32:30,220 LAUGH AT THOSE MOVIES. 1234 00:32:30,255 --> 00:32:31,230 THAT MAKES ME HAPPY. 1235 00:32:31,231 --> 00:32:32,659 THAT’S JOY TO ME. 1236 00:32:32,693 --> 00:32:34,717 WHEN I CAN’T DO IT AT THE LEVEL 1237 00:32:34,752 --> 00:32:36,266 THAT I’VE DONE IT-- AND I’VE 1238 00:32:36,267 --> 00:32:37,694 DONE IT AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL-- 1239 00:32:37,729 --> 00:32:39,906 WELL, THEN IT’S TIME TO START 1240 00:32:39,907 --> 00:32:41,048 RETHINK AND I HAVE DIFFERENT 1241 00:32:41,082 --> 00:32:41,493 CONVERSATIONS. 1242 00:32:41,494 --> 00:32:43,774 NOT THAT WE’RE THERE YET, IT’S 1243 00:32:43,809 --> 00:32:45,120 JUST HOW I’M JUST-- IT’S JUST 1244 00:32:45,121 --> 00:32:45,310 PERSPECTIVE. 1245 00:32:45,344 --> 00:32:45,914 I’M 41. 1246 00:32:45,916 --> 00:32:47,733 SO AM I GOING TO BE 45 AND STILL 1247 00:32:47,734 --> 00:32:48,579 THE SAME? 1248 00:32:48,580 --> 00:32:50,555 IF SO, LET’S KEEP RIDING. 1249 00:32:50,557 --> 00:32:52,534 AT 50, IS IT STILL THE SAME? 1250 00:32:52,535 --> 00:32:54,080 IF SO, LET’S KEEP RIDING. 1251 00:32:54,082 --> 00:32:58,716 BUT IF WE KEEP SLIDING DOWN 1252 00:32:58,717 --> 00:33:01,346 THIS-- THIS ROAD OF-- ERRRR-- 1253 00:33:01,348 --> 00:33:04,187 YOU CAN SEE THE BACK OF MY HEAD 1254 00:33:04,188 --> 00:33:05,357 ( BLEEP ) Y’ALL, I’M OUT. 1255 00:33:05,359 --> 00:33:05,874 I’M OUT. 1256 00:33:05,876 --> 00:33:07,049 Trevor: we’re going to 1257 00:33:07,051 --> 00:33:08,684 fight to make sure that doesn’t 1258 00:33:08,685 --> 00:33:09,472 happen, man. 1259 00:33:09,473 --> 00:33:11,024 I LOVE WATCHING YOUR COMEDY. 1260 00:33:11,059 --> 00:33:12,288 I LOVE WATCHING YOU. 1261 00:33:12,323 --> 00:33:14,019 I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED YOU AS A 1262 00:33:14,020 --> 00:33:14,983 HUMAN BEING. 1263 00:33:14,985 --> 00:33:17,206 THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME. 1264 00:33:17,207 --> 00:33:18,321 THANK YOU FOR SHARING THE 1265 00:33:18,322 --> 00:33:18,553 POSITIVITY. 1266 00:33:18,554 --> 00:33:20,250 GOOD LUCK WITH THE MOVIE. 1267 00:33:20,251 --> 00:33:22,010 DON’T QUIT, DON’T BE A MECHANIC. 1268 00:33:22,011 --> 00:33:23,451 BUT IF YOU ARE A MECHANIC, I’M 1269 00:33:23,452 --> 00:33:25,678 GOING TO BRING MY CAR TO YOU 1270 00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:27,383 BECAUSE YOU’LL HOOK ME UP. 1271 00:33:27,384 --> 00:33:29,246 YOU KEEP THAT PIECE OF SHIT. 1272 00:33:29,247 --> 00:33:30,557 Trevor: I have an air bag, 1273 00:33:30,558 --> 00:33:31,076 Kevin hart. 1274 00:33:31,110 --> 00:33:33,102 MY CAR IS IN THE GOING TO SEND 1275 00:33:33,136 --> 00:33:34,686 ME TO A HOSPITAL IF I BUMP INTO 1276 00:33:34,721 --> 00:33:35,587 A POLE, KEVIN HART. 1277 00:33:35,621 --> 00:33:37,705 I HAVE AN AIR BAG. 1278 00:33:37,739 --> 00:33:40,881 I HAVE CARS THAT NEED THEM. 1279 00:33:40,883 --> 00:33:44,171 Trevor: oh, man-- 1280 00:33:44,205 --> 00:33:46,303 HENDRIX, KAYORA, KENSO, THE 1281 00:33:46,304 --> 00:33:48,236 HART HOUSEHOLD, I LOVE YOU GUYS. 1282 00:33:48,237 --> 00:33:49,475 I CAN’T WAIT TO GET BACK HOME 1283 00:33:49,476 --> 00:33:49,831 SOON. 1284 00:33:49,832 --> 00:33:51,691 DAD IS WORKING HARD ON ANOTHER 1285 00:33:51,693 --> 00:33:53,123 MOVIE THAT WILL HOPEFULLY BRING 1286 00:33:53,124 --> 00:33:55,292 US BACK TO A PLACE OF OLD AND 1287 00:33:55,294 --> 00:33:56,609 BRING US CLOSER TOGETHER AND 1288 00:33:56,611 --> 00:33:57,458 MAKE US SMILE. 1289 00:33:57,459 --> 00:33:58,813 TREVOR, THAT’S WHAT YOU DO, MAN. 1290 00:33:58,848 --> 00:33:59,762 DON’T YOU STOP DOING WHAT YOU 1291 00:33:59,796 --> 00:34:00,213 DO. 1292 00:34:00,214 --> 00:34:02,745 I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL YOU GET OUT 1293 00:34:02,747 --> 00:34:04,503 OF THIS CORNER AND GET BACK IN 1294 00:34:04,504 --> 00:34:05,141 THE GODDAMN STUDIO. 1295 00:34:05,176 --> 00:34:07,047 Trevor: nobody puts me in 1296 00:34:07,081 --> 00:34:08,044 a corner, Kevin hart. 1297 00:34:08,079 --> 00:34:10,875 MY DUDE, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 1298 00:34:10,909 --> 00:34:13,008 THE TIME AND LOOK AFTER 1299 00:34:13,042 --> 00:34:13,711 YOURSELF. 1300 00:34:13,713 --> 00:34:16,639 DON’T FORGET "ZERO ( BLEEP ) 1301 00:34:16,674 --> 00:34:17,994 GIVEN" IS NOW STREAMING ON 1302 00:34:17,995 --> 00:34:18,377 NETFLIX. 1303 00:34:18,412 --> 00:34:20,829 WE’LL TALK A QUICK BREAK BUT WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS. 1304 00:34:21,891 --> 00:34:23,731 Trevor: THAT’S OUR SHOW FOR 1305 00:34:23,733 --> 00:34:26,801 TONIGHT, BUT BEFORE WE GO: 1306 00:34:26,802 --> 00:34:28,804 REMEMBER THANKSGIVING IS COMING 1307 00:34:28,839 --> 00:34:31,023 UP, BUT IN THE CORONA ERA, 1308 00:34:31,025 --> 00:34:34,287 THERE ARE SENIORS STUCK AT HOME 1309 00:34:34,321 --> 00:34:35,566 THAN EVER BEFORE. 1310 00:34:35,567 --> 00:34:36,611 ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO DON’T KNOW 1311 00:34:36,612 --> 00:34:37,806 WHERE THEIR NEXT MEAL IS COMING 1312 00:34:37,807 --> 00:34:38,054 FROM. 1313 00:34:38,089 --> 00:34:39,518 BUT MEALS ON WHEELS IS OUT THERE 1314 00:34:39,519 --> 00:34:40,267 IN THE STREETS, DELIVERING MEALS 1315 00:34:40,269 --> 00:34:41,085 TO ELDERLY AMERICANS EVERY DAY 1316 00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:42,838 TO KEEP THEM SAFE AND NOURISHED 1317 00:34:42,839 --> 00:34:44,174 IN COMMUNITIES ACROSS THE 1318 00:34:44,209 --> 00:34:44,429 COUNTRY. 1319 00:34:44,430 --> 00:34:45,946 IF YOU CAN HELP OUT, AND WANT TO 1320 00:34:45,980 --> 00:34:47,487 SUPPORT THE WORK THEY DO, PLEASE 1321 00:34:47,488 --> 00:34:49,374 DONATE AT THE LINK BELOW. 1322 00:34:49,376 --> 00:34:51,360 UNTIL TOMORROW, STAY SAFE OUT 1323 00:34:51,362 --> 00:34:53,090 THERE, WEAR A MASK, AND 1324 00:34:53,092 --> 00:34:54,639 REMEMBER: IF YOU SPEND $1 1325 00:34:54,641 --> 00:34:56,280 MILLION ON A FACE MASK, IT WILL 1326 00:34:56,314 --> 00:34:57,446 PROBABLY PROTECT YOU FROM 1327 00:34:57,481 --> 00:34:57,918 CORONAVIRUS. 1328 00:34:57,952 --> 00:35:00,592 BUT YOU’LL PROBABLY TEST 1329 00:35:00,593 --> 00:35:02,439 POSITIVE FOR BEING A DOUCHEBAG. 1330 00:35:02,473 --> 00:35:04,333 NOW HERE IT IS, YOUR MOMENT OF 1331 00:35:04,334 --> 00:35:05,928 ZEN: 1332 00:35:05,962 --> 00:35:08,194 ♪ ♪ ♪ 1333 00:35:08,228 --> 00:35:10,302 PRESIDENT TRUMP’S FOREIGN 1334 00:35:10,303 --> 00:35:12,234 POLICY AND NATIONAL SECURITY 1335 00:35:12,235 --> 00:35:13,847 RECORD IS COMPARABLE ONLY TO 1336 00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:14,779 RONALD REAGAN. 1337 00:35:14,813 --> 00:35:16,465 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 1338 00:35:16,466 --> 00:35:17,761 REAGAN! 1339 00:35:17,762 --> 00:35:19,461 RONALD REAGAN THE ACTOR? 1340 00:35:19,463 --> 00:35:22,090 YEAH, WAKE US UP WHEN YOU’RE 1341 00:35:22,091 --> 00:35:23,309 TALKING ABOUT A REAL PRESIDENT 1342 00:35:23,344 --> 00:35:23,975 LIKE GROVER CLEVELAND. 1343 00:35:24,010 --> 00:35:27,177 I LIKE THAT GUY. 1344 00:35:27,178 --> 00:35:30,959 HAS TRUMP CONCEDED YET? ( BIRDS CHIRPING )