1 00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:03,036 Well, hello, everybody, and welcome 2 00:00:03,070 --> 00:00:06,340 to our first episode of 2021 3 00:00:06,373 --> 00:00:09,510 and the last episode of Donald juvenile Trump, 4 00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:11,545 the only American president who got impeached 5 00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:14,147 more times than he got elected. 6 00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:17,818 In 24 hours, Donald Trump will no longer be president, 7 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,253 and Americans will finally 8 00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:22,289 be able to take a deep breath. 9 00:00:22,322 --> 00:00:24,658 Except for the 24 million of them who have COVID, 10 00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,126 because of the government's horrible response. 11 00:00:26,159 --> 00:00:27,761 We're gonna be catching up on all the news, 12 00:00:27,794 --> 00:00:29,763 plus Carey Mulligan will be joining us 13 00:00:29,796 --> 00:00:33,467 to talk about her brand-new movie Promising Young Woman. 14 00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:34,902 So let's do this, people. 15 00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:37,604 Welcome to The Daily Social Distancing Show. 16 00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:41,408 -? ? -ANNOUNCER: From Trevor's couch in New York City 17 00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:44,578 to your couch somewhere in the world, this is 18 00:00:44,611 --> 00:00:47,481 The Daily Social Distancing Show with Trevor Noah. 19 00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:54,988 Tomorrow, Joe Biden will be sworn in as the 46th president 20 00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:56,823 of what's left of the United States. 21 00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:58,859 Although, judging from the preparations, 22 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,962 perhaps "united" isn't the right word for the country. 23 00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:03,730 NEWSMAN: Tonight, extraordinary security 24 00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:06,633 in the nation's capital. Officials taking no chances. 25 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:10,604 Military reinforcements arriving by the planeload. 26 00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:13,707 National Guard troops coming from every corner of the U.S. 27 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,175 NEWSMAN 2: On every street, more fencing, 28 00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:17,511 more police, more troops. 29 00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:19,046 NEWSMAN 3: Fencing with razor wire, 30 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,315 barricades and checkpoints everywhere. 31 00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:22,916 Restrictions on drones, 32 00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:24,785 helicopters patrolling the skies, 33 00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:27,855 and police boats scouring the Potomac River. 34 00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:30,224 NEWSWOMAN: More than 25,000 National Guard troops 35 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,758 in the nation's capital, 36 00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:34,695 many already there and sleeping on cots. 37 00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:36,463 NEWSWOMAN 2: Biden planned to take the train from his home 38 00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:39,900 in Delaware to D.C., but that trip has been canceled 39 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,035 due to security concerns about his arrival at Union Station 40 00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:45,305 just blocks from the Capitol. 41 00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:47,574 Aw, man. Poor Joe Biden. 42 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:50,310 He loves trains, but security is so tight 43 00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:51,678 that they won't let him ride one. 44 00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,714 And it makes sense-- trains are the worst way 45 00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:55,916 to get your new president to his inauguration. 46 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,519 Bbecause, forget terrorists. Biden could get hurt 47 00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:02,222 just from a guy trying to carry boiling coffee down the aisle. 48 00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:06,159 Also, it's so easy to plan a train attack, 49 00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:07,594 because a train can't change course. 50 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:10,197 We all know where it's going. There's a track. 51 00:02:10,230 --> 00:02:12,699 If a train leaves Delaware for D.C. at 9:00 a.m. 52 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,301 and it travels at 80 miles an hour, 53 00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:17,804 well, we know it's gonna get to D.C... 54 00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,339 It'll get there... 55 00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:22,242 And this just shows you how divided America is right now-- 56 00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:25,512 it's even having trouble transitioning power 57 00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:28,482 from an old white guy to an old white guy. 58 00:02:28,515 --> 00:02:30,017 Security wasn't even this tight when the president 59 00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:31,919 was about to be black. 60 00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:34,154 Now, of course, the reason for all this security is that 61 00:02:34,188 --> 00:02:37,090 no one wants a repeat of January 6, 62 00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:39,226 when a mob of the world's angriest aunts and uncles 63 00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:41,695 attacked the Capitol Building. 64 00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:44,131 And we all watched the riots live on the news that day. 65 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,133 But as time goes on, we're finding out that 66 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:50,304 the situation was even crazier than we thought. 67 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:53,440 NEWSMAN: New details tonight show just how close 68 00:02:53,473 --> 00:02:56,977 the violent mob got to the vice president and his family. 69 00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:01,515 NEWSMAN 2: As the mob chanted "Hang Mike Pence" 70 00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:03,283 and a makeshift gallows went up, 71 00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:05,652 the vice president, his wife and daughter, 72 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,721 were just seconds away from being spotted, 73 00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:09,456 according to The Washington Post. 74 00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:12,226 At one point, they were hiding less than 100 feet 75 00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:15,262 from the violent crowd attacking police officers, 76 00:03:15,295 --> 00:03:16,830 journalists and others. 77 00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:20,367 NEWSWOMAN: And the chilling search for Speaker Nancy Pelosi. 78 00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:25,606 NEWSWOMAN: Inside the Senate Chamber, insurrection. 79 00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:32,980 Where the (bleep) are they? 80 00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:34,748 Where are they? 81 00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:47,394 You know, I used to blame lawmakers 82 00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:49,129 for not getting anything done. 83 00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:50,430 But now I'm starting to think that maybe 84 00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:53,534 it's the Capitol Building that jams up Congress. 85 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,002 Because did you see this mob? 86 00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:57,804 They came in with the goal to overthrow the government! 87 00:03:57,838 --> 00:03:58,939 But then, once they got in, they were like... 88 00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:01,708 Yeah! Let's throw this thing... 89 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,076 You know what, maybe we should vote on something. 90 00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,645 I don't know. Let's... 91 00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:06,680 Actually, guys, let's adjourn for the day. 92 00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:09,883 We'll come back tomorrow, and... We couldn't get anything done. 93 00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,485 And if you didn't believe it before, 94 00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:13,487 this is how you really know that Trump supporters 95 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,656 are a cult. 96 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:19,359 Because they wanted to hang Mike Pence 97 00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:21,261 for finally accepting the election results. 98 00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:22,863 Mike Pence, people. 99 00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:26,800 No one has been more loyal to Trump than Mike Pence. 100 00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:29,269 While Trump was screwing America over last four years, 101 00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:31,872 Mike Pence was gently guiding his hips from behind. 102 00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:35,876 Now you're calling him a traitor? Mike Pence? 103 00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:38,378 And I know people don't like him, but I for one 104 00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:41,448 am really glad that this mob didn't hurt Mike Pence. 105 00:04:41,481 --> 00:04:43,350 'Cause I think we could all agree that 106 00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:44,885 no one should have to die a virgin. 107 00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:46,553 Now, since that day, 108 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:49,623 the FBI has rounded up over 130 people 109 00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:52,593 so far for taking part in the assault on the Capitol. 110 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,261 And if you're wondering how on earth 111 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,562 did they find all these people, well, 112 00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:58,098 it turns out it was all on the 'gram. 113 00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,733 NEWSMAN: The man posing beneath the sign 114 00:04:59,766 --> 00:05:01,835 above Nancy Pelosi's office 115 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:04,371 is a firefighter from Florida, Andy Williams. 116 00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:07,274 We're all trying to get into the Capitol to stop this. 117 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,810 NEWSMAN: A corporate lawyer from Dallas, Paul Davis, 118 00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:13,514 posted this video and was quickly identified by his boss. 119 00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:16,783 Nicholas Rodean wore his work ID badge around his neck. 120 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:20,754 NEWSMAN 2: This man posted a selfie, smoking a cigarette, 121 00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:23,790 with the caption "Hello from the Capitol lol." 122 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:26,159 NEWSMAN 3: The man who put his feet up on Nancy Pelosi's desk 123 00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:29,062 is 60-year-old Richard Barnett, 124 00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:30,964 known as Bigo. 125 00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:38,238 NEWSMAN 3: And this fellow, Derrick Evans, 126 00:05:38,272 --> 00:05:41,275 livestreamed the moment he and others members of the mob 127 00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:43,243 broke into the Capitol. 128 00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:49,216 No, guys, guys, you can't be serious. 129 00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:50,851 Has it really gotten this bad, 130 00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,819 that social media has poisoned us to the point where 131 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,922 we're gonna livestream our treason? 132 00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:58,992 And I love how some MAGA people were like, "This is our 1776." 133 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,861 Yeah, guys, you didn't see George Washington 134 00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,229 crossing the Delaware like, 135 00:06:02,262 --> 00:06:04,798 "I do declare... selfie!" 136 00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,200 I will say, though, 137 00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,402 this is an argument for defunding the police. 138 00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:10,404 Because you don't need billions of dollars for detectives 139 00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:11,705 when you can find criminals 140 00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:14,007 just by scrolling your Instagram discover page. 141 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,576 So after four years, President Trump 142 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,277 is spending his last days in power 143 00:06:17,311 --> 00:06:20,547 like many tin-pot dictators: convincing his most rabid fans 144 00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:23,350 to keep fighting for a lost cause while he 145 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,852 hides in a bunker somewhere. 146 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,086 But whether you hate Trump 147 00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:28,322 or whether you just mildly dislike him, 148 00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:30,757 you have to admit a few things about this man. 149 00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:34,661 Number one: he has changed American politics forever. 150 00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:36,697 For starters, the red phone in the Oval Office 151 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,633 will always call McDonald's instead of the Pentagon. 152 00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:40,868 That's not going to change. 153 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:43,070 Also, he's completely dropped the bar 154 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,638 for presidential behavior. 155 00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:46,440 I mean, in ten years a president could pee in the middle 156 00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:48,542 of a press conference, and everyone will just be like, 157 00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:51,345 "Huh, I guess he just had to go." 158 00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:54,014 Also, you got to admit that Trump, 159 00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:58,218 from the time he ran for president, he's been consistent. 160 00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,254 You know, the victimhood and the racial resentment 161 00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:03,123 that came down that escalator in 2015-- 162 00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:04,858 well, those are the same that ended up at the Capitol 163 00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:06,693 on January 6th. 164 00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:09,663 And because Trump has been so consistently bad, 165 00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:11,965 because he's been so consistent at being himself, 166 00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:16,336 he's exposed how bullshit so many other people are. 167 00:07:16,370 --> 00:07:17,971 For instance, Fox News. 168 00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:22,609 They spent all of 2020 screaming that "blue lives matter." 169 00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,311 The way Fox News defended police 170 00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:26,013 during the George Floyd protests, 171 00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:28,549 you would have thought that opposing police brutality 172 00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:30,384 was the same thing as killing police. 173 00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:33,554 But then, when their people stormed the Capitol 174 00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:36,557 and police at the Capitol were beaten and actually killed-- 175 00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:38,959 two officers were actually killed-- 176 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:41,495 all of a sudden, Fox News is saying this. 177 00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,330 These are not conspiracy theorists 178 00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:44,932 motivated just by lies. 179 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,167 Uh, that's a bunch of nonsense that people want to tell us. 180 00:07:47,201 --> 00:07:48,669 These are people that understand first principles. 181 00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:51,104 They love freedom and they love free markets, 182 00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:53,207 and they see exactly what the anti-American left 183 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,508 has done to America. 184 00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:56,176 So many of them are just patriotic, 185 00:07:56,210 --> 00:07:58,312 well-loving Americans who are frustrated 186 00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:00,247 that their institutions of government, 187 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,217 of media, uh, have let them down. 188 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,252 A lot of these people are not dispossessed. 189 00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:08,222 They're not some, you know, creepy, androgynous blogger 190 00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:09,756 who shows up to burn things down. 191 00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,491 They're, like, kind of solid Americans. 192 00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,594 Ah, I get it now. 193 00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:16,096 These people weren't creepy bloggers. 194 00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,298 They were solid, law-abiding Americans. 195 00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:20,434 And nobody is allowed to kill cops 196 00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:23,036 except for the people who respect cops. 197 00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:24,872 They can do whatever they want. 198 00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:29,209 Also, where the hell did "They love free markets" come from? 199 00:08:29,243 --> 00:08:30,744 Free markets? 200 00:08:30,777 --> 00:08:33,680 I wasn't picking that up when people were smashing windows 201 00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:34,681 and breaking the Capitol down. 202 00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:36,083 Like, free markets? 203 00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:38,318 Free markets are not something that drives a riot. 204 00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:40,087 No one's ever slapped someone over a free market before, 205 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,422 much less murdered a police officer. 206 00:08:42,456 --> 00:08:43,690 Look, man, the point is, 207 00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,292 you guys clearly don't care about cops. 208 00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:47,494 You only care about the idea of using cops 209 00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:49,663 to keep Black people in their place, 210 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:53,033 so please miss me with that bullshit. 211 00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:54,701 Also, Lindsey Graham. 212 00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,403 Whether you're a liberal or conservative, 213 00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:58,338 everyone should agree that this asshole, 214 00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:00,340 this Cracker Barrel mascot is a weasel, 215 00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:01,975 the worst weasel of any kind, 216 00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:03,844 because after the Capitol was stormed-- 217 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,212 after the Capitol was stormed-- 218 00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:06,747 and it looked like Trump was done, 219 00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:09,683 he gave a big speech about how he was done supporting Trump 220 00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,685 because Trump "took it too far. 221 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,387 "He just took things too far. 222 00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:14,821 Oh, no." 223 00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:16,123 But then, the next week, 224 00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:17,758 he was suddenly flying on Air Force One again 225 00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,259 because he realized Trump wasn't out, 226 00:09:19,293 --> 00:09:22,763 and then he started blaming the attack on the Democrats. 227 00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:24,131 NEWSWOMAN: Senator Lindsey Graham 228 00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,532 placing blame for the Capitol Hill riot 229 00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,868 on House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. Watch this. 230 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,169 GRAHAM: What happened on January the 6th 231 00:09:29,203 --> 00:09:33,207 was one of the low points in my time in office. 232 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:38,078 It was horrendous to see people come and take over the Capitol, 233 00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:40,514 the House and the Senate, beat officers, 234 00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:42,583 defile the seat of government. 235 00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:44,284 How in the hell could that happen? 236 00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:45,819 Where was Nancy Pelosi? 237 00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:48,322 It's her job to provide Capitol security. 238 00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:51,825 "Yeah, Nancy, why weren't you in your office 239 00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:55,028 "when people were coming to kidnap or kill you? 240 00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:56,697 "What were you hiding, yourself? 241 00:09:56,730 --> 00:10:00,133 Aha! We got you, Nancy, we got you." 242 00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:04,137 What did Lindsey Graham expect Nancy Pelosi to do, huh? 243 00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:05,939 Set up booby traps in the Capitol 244 00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:07,875 like an old-age Home Alone? 245 00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:12,145 Please, please miss me with this bullshit. 246 00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:14,581 And this also goes out to all those Republicans 247 00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:16,550 who spent four years backing a president 248 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:17,818 who called his opponents 249 00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:20,354 "un-American" and "enemies of the people," 250 00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:23,056 but now, now that he's getting impeached 251 00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:24,324 and might be held accountable, 252 00:10:24,358 --> 00:10:27,794 oh, all of a sudden it's time to move on. 253 00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:29,596 Today is a moment for members of Congress 254 00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,932 to put aside partisan politicking 255 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:34,234 and place people over power. 256 00:10:34,268 --> 00:10:36,203 We should be focused on bringing the nation together. 257 00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:39,473 We must be bigger and better than the most base of instincts 258 00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:41,942 that have been driving our political discourse. 259 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,311 It is destroying us. 260 00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:48,148 Let's link arms with one another and begin to heal. 261 00:10:48,182 --> 00:10:49,616 Does not matter 262 00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:53,153 if you are liberal, moderate or conservative. 263 00:10:53,187 --> 00:10:55,622 All of us must resist the temptation 264 00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:57,925 of further polarization. 265 00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:01,128 As history shows, unity is not an option, 266 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,829 it's a necessity. 267 00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:05,265 Okay, I don't know what crazy-ass world 268 00:11:05,299 --> 00:11:06,767 you people grew up in, 269 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,802 but how are you going to start a fight 270 00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:11,505 and then tell everyone else to calm down? 271 00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:13,874 Can you imagine if a terrorist tried to hijack a plane, 272 00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:15,542 and then after the marshal tackled him, he says, 273 00:11:15,576 --> 00:11:18,745 "Okay, okay, I think everyone needs to calm down! 274 00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:21,915 "Let's just come together and watch the rest of Croods. 275 00:11:21,949 --> 00:11:24,751 "All right? Let's just do this together. 276 00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:25,853 "I'm gonna have the chicken, thank you. 277 00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:29,223 Shh! The movie." 278 00:11:30,224 --> 00:11:33,460 All these people who tried to overthrow the government, 279 00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:36,363 yo, they can miss me with that bullshit. 280 00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:39,132 And it's not just Fox, it's not just Republicans. 281 00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:42,035 Social media companies, for years 282 00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:44,238 people have been warning you about the violence 283 00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:46,240 and conspiracy that you've been amplifying 284 00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:48,742 and allowing to spread on your platforms, 285 00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:52,479 and for years you've said you can't do anything about it, 286 00:11:52,513 --> 00:11:54,882 but now that the Capitol has been ransacked, 287 00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:57,417 now, all of a sudden, it turns out you can. 288 00:11:57,451 --> 00:11:58,819 "Now that the violence has happened, 289 00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:00,087 "we're gonna do everything we can 290 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,422 to stop the violence from happening." 291 00:12:02,456 --> 00:12:04,024 I mean, I don't know if I'm the only one, 292 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,426 but I think it's really funny how social media companies said 293 00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:10,464 that they don't have a magic button to stop hate online, 294 00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,466 but then, when Trump lost, suddenly they were like, 295 00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:14,201 "Oh, we do have that button. 296 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,502 Here it is." 297 00:12:15,536 --> 00:12:17,738 So, what, now these companies want a cookie 298 00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,239 for doing the right thing too late? 299 00:12:19,273 --> 00:12:21,642 Miss me with that bullshit. 300 00:12:21,675 --> 00:12:24,111 I will say, though, it was funny that random apps 301 00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:25,679 that had nothing to do with Trump 302 00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:28,448 also decided to pile on the Trump ban, 303 00:12:28,482 --> 00:12:31,385 like when Spotify and Pinterest banned Donald Trump. 304 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:32,486 What was that for? 305 00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:33,754 What, did Spotify think 306 00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:35,022 that Trump was going to release a mixtape? 307 00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:36,456 What's the Pinterest ban for? 308 00:12:36,490 --> 00:12:39,159 Is Trump going to put up border wall images on his page? 309 00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:43,163 Although... it would be funny if Spotify was actually the thing 310 00:12:43,197 --> 00:12:44,831 that broke Donald Trump's heart. 311 00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:46,366 Like, if he was just sitting there, like, 312 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,402 I don't care that they blocked my Twitter 313 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,437 or my Instagram or Facebook. 314 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:53,407 I've still got my Spotify... (yells) 315 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,509 (sobbing yell) 316 00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:57,277 Look, man, here's the thing: 317 00:12:57,311 --> 00:13:00,480 by this time tomorrow, Donald Trump will be out of power, 318 00:13:00,514 --> 00:13:03,483 and I just hope, I hope that he slowly fades away, 319 00:13:03,517 --> 00:13:05,452 like one of his tans. 320 00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:07,821 And I know that he'll never fully be gone, all right. 321 00:13:07,855 --> 00:13:09,323 He's basically the COVID of politics. 322 00:13:09,356 --> 00:13:11,058 America's going to be experiencing side effects 323 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:13,026 long after he's out of the system. 324 00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:14,394 And, unfortunately, 325 00:13:14,428 --> 00:13:17,364 we're probably going to see mutated strains as well. 326 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:20,667 But I do hope that with him at least not being president, 327 00:13:20,701 --> 00:13:24,104 we can all get back to being a bit more honest with each other, 328 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:27,774 and more nuanced in how we talk about what divides us. 329 00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,676 That's my wish for the next year. 330 00:13:29,710 --> 00:13:31,979 Because I don't know what 2021 is going to bring, 331 00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:33,480 but if it involves any bullshit, 332 00:13:33,514 --> 00:13:37,317 I kindly request that I be missed. 333 00:13:37,351 --> 00:13:38,552 All right, when we come back, 334 00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:41,488 we'll take a look at all the amazing thing 335 00:13:41,522 --> 00:13:44,358 Jared and Ivanka accomplished in office. 336 00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:47,094 And Carey Mulligan is still joining us on the show. 337 00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:49,263 Don't go away. 338 00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:50,998 ? ? 339 00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:55,636 (heart beating) 340 00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:56,703 I'm here in D.C. 341 00:13:56,737 --> 00:13:58,205 It's an exciting day. 342 00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:00,307 Almost half the adults in our country 343 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,943 are asking for a do-over. 344 00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:05,679 USA! USA! 345 00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:07,214 USA! 346 00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:09,550 (bleep) antifa! (bleep) antifa! 347 00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:10,951 (bleep) antifa! 348 00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:12,653 -(crowd shouting) -Oh, shit. 349 00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:14,388 I suppose if you brought all of these flags 350 00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:15,722 and all of these garments, 351 00:14:15,756 --> 00:14:18,892 you've got to do something like this. 352 00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:20,894 I mean, they've been prepping for this 353 00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:24,731 at least sartorially for years. 354 00:14:24,765 --> 00:14:26,300 Uh, tell me about your... wh-what's on your back? 355 00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,135 -Uh, "Q" flag. -"Q" flag. 356 00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:29,336 QAnon. 357 00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,470 I'm one of those crazy people. 358 00:14:30,504 --> 00:14:31,872 You're one of those cr... 359 00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:34,208 "Q"... "Q" is somebody who just helped wake us up. 360 00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:35,509 Yeah. Yeah. 361 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,377 It makes you ask questions. It makes all of us ask questions. 362 00:14:37,411 --> 00:14:38,946 It's like, why would people believe in this 363 00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:40,914 conspiracy that a 12-year-old in a basement 364 00:14:40,948 --> 00:14:42,649 put it on the Internet and now it's affecting our country. 365 00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:47,321 Joseph Biden, and "Kamula," 366 00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:49,323 your buddy, "Kamula" Harris, 367 00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:51,358 are not legitimate. 368 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,559 You know what I think this is? 369 00:14:52,593 --> 00:14:55,529 This is a gang rape of our nation. 370 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:58,665 We are watching our country be gang raped. 371 00:14:58,699 --> 00:15:00,567 Like, look into your (bleep) heart, okay? 372 00:15:00,601 --> 00:15:02,069 It's not a joke. 373 00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:03,470 -Look, you make a good point, -Yes, I do. 374 00:15:03,504 --> 00:15:05,138 -but you are wearing... -I'm pissed off right now. 375 00:15:05,172 --> 00:15:07,074 you're wearing a one... a onesie that is a flag, so... 376 00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:08,742 -it does... -'Cause I (bleep) like... 377 00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:11,011 I, 'cause I'm... I'm about what I (bleep) represent here. 378 00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:12,913 Yeah, how'd you get your bike in? 379 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:14,081 Right over here. 380 00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:16,283 What kind of bike best works 381 00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:19,720 for a futile attempt to thwart democracy? 382 00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,889 So, like a crosstrack situation? 383 00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:23,223 Uh, that's-that's just a weird question. 384 00:15:23,257 --> 00:15:24,424 I-I don't... 385 00:15:24,458 --> 00:15:26,693 The revolution will not be televised. 386 00:15:26,727 --> 00:15:28,695 They will also not be providing chairs. 387 00:15:28,729 --> 00:15:29,930 So bring your own. 388 00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:33,534 Great. Thanks. 389 00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:35,869 Planning ahead. 390 00:15:35,903 --> 00:15:37,070 People are mad about it, 391 00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:39,006 and they came here to make a statement. 392 00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:40,874 -I want a redo. -You want a redo? 393 00:15:40,908 --> 00:15:41,909 I want a redo... 394 00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:43,377 The good news is the Constitution 395 00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:45,546 has set aside a way to do a redo, 396 00:15:45,579 --> 00:15:47,948 and that's, we'll just come back and do it again in four years. 397 00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:50,117 USA! USA! USA! 398 00:15:54,153 --> 00:15:56,489 Welcome back to The Daily Social Distancing Show. 399 00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:58,657 The four years of the Trump administration 400 00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:01,961 has been one blooper montage of scandals. 401 00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:04,630 We've had everything from kids in cages 402 00:16:04,663 --> 00:16:07,032 to a Sharpie on a hurricane map. 403 00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:08,200 And in the very last week, 404 00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:09,902 the administration, believe it or not, 405 00:16:09,935 --> 00:16:11,237 has managed to squeeze in 406 00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:14,006 what might be the funniest scandal yet. 407 00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:16,141 Ivanka Trump and husband, Jared Kushner, 408 00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:17,977 reportedly instructed their Secret Service detail 409 00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:21,547 not to use any of the bathrooms in their Washington home. 410 00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:23,616 NEWSWOMAN: The Washington Post says since 2017, 411 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,251 taxpayers have been footing the bill 412 00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:29,121 to rent a nearby studio apartment for $3,000 a month 413 00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,857 so agents could have access to a toilet. 414 00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:33,492 Okay, now, before you judge these two, 415 00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:36,328 keep in mind that Ivanka and Jared 416 00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:39,031 probably have really weird bathrooms. 417 00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:40,666 I mean, look at them. 418 00:16:40,699 --> 00:16:42,301 They don't even look like they use toilets. 419 00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:44,370 You know, when... when Jared has to go, 420 00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:46,305 Ivanka probably just squeezes him 421 00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:48,174 like an old tube of toothpaste. 422 00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:50,142 Or maybe the reason they did this 423 00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,777 is not because they're snooty and snobbish, 424 00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:53,245 maybe they did it because they want to protect 425 00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:54,346 the Secret Service. 426 00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:55,514 Do you ever think about that? 427 00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:59,218 Huh? Like, maybe... maybe Ivanka takes mega-dumps. 428 00:16:59,251 --> 00:17:00,619 You know what I'm talking about. 429 00:17:00,653 --> 00:17:02,488 You know those dumps where you walk into the bathroom, 430 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,824 and it's like a wall of smell pushes you back out? 431 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,959 (groaning) 432 00:17:06,992 --> 00:17:08,627 Yeah, maybe Ivanka and Jared were like, 433 00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,396 "Look, you Secret Service agents 434 00:17:10,429 --> 00:17:12,264 "might need to take a bullet for us one day. 435 00:17:12,298 --> 00:17:14,233 "There's no need to take one every day. 436 00:17:14,266 --> 00:17:15,734 Just use the apartment." 437 00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:17,636 But say what you want about Jared and Ivanka. 438 00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:21,874 The two of them have been loyal to their big papa to the end, 439 00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:25,444 which is why they deserve a farewell tribute 440 00:17:25,477 --> 00:17:27,980 for their four years of... 441 00:17:28,013 --> 00:17:30,216 Whatever it is that they did. 442 00:17:30,249 --> 00:17:32,651 LYDIC: Who has been the most valuable member 443 00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:33,953 of the Trump team? 444 00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:35,888 Sean Hannity? 445 00:17:35,921 --> 00:17:37,857 The MyPillow guy? 446 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,593 Melania's noise-cancelling headphones? 447 00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:43,195 Actually, that's a trick question. 448 00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:46,098 The most important person in the Trump administration 449 00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:47,900 isn't one person. 450 00:17:47,933 --> 00:17:49,602 It's a couple. 451 00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:52,137 Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner. 452 00:17:57,810 --> 00:17:59,245 Jared and Ivanka, 453 00:17:59,278 --> 00:18:00,646 or Jarvanka, 454 00:18:00,679 --> 00:18:02,681 might have been Washington outsiders 455 00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:03,949 when Trump won the election, 456 00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:06,352 but they've had a world of experience 457 00:18:06,385 --> 00:18:08,420 serving everyday Americans. 458 00:18:08,454 --> 00:18:10,923 Ivanka sold them handbags 459 00:18:10,956 --> 00:18:13,225 and Jared evicted them. 460 00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:16,362 Trump knew that Jarvanka was the couple for the job, 461 00:18:16,395 --> 00:18:17,830 any job. 462 00:18:17,863 --> 00:18:20,733 Ivanka became adviser to the president, 463 00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:23,602 an important role in which she was tasked with... 464 00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:26,539 advising the president? 465 00:18:26,572 --> 00:18:29,375 Jared, meanwhile, had a bit more on his plate. 466 00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:30,709 NEWSMAN: Middle East peace, 467 00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:32,111 criminal justice reform, the opioid crisis, 468 00:18:32,144 --> 00:18:33,779 reforming care for veterans, 469 00:18:33,812 --> 00:18:35,714 lead adviser on relations with China, Mexico, 470 00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:37,683 Canada, Middle East, infrastructure trade deals, 471 00:18:37,716 --> 00:18:39,952 broadband policy and border wall construction. 472 00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:41,387 LYDIC: That's right. 473 00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:43,355 Jared Kushner was like a Swiss Army knife... 474 00:18:43,389 --> 00:18:45,791 if all the tools were nail clippers. 475 00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:48,060 Though Jarvanka didn't get off 476 00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:50,029 to the smoothest start in the world, 477 00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:53,132 Ivanka tried to use her new position to hawk jewelry, 478 00:18:53,165 --> 00:18:55,267 while Jared had to redo his financial disclosure forms 479 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,303 more than 40 times. 480 00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:59,405 The president even had to bend the rules 481 00:18:59,438 --> 00:19:02,575 to get Jared and Ivanka their security clearances. 482 00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:05,644 Just because the corrupt, deep-state FBI Were jealous 483 00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:07,780 of all the cool foreign business contacts 484 00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:10,049 Jared's had over the years. 485 00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:12,218 But despite the odds stacked against them, 486 00:19:12,251 --> 00:19:15,421 Jared and Ivanka took Washington by storm. 487 00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:20,659 Did they have relevant experience? No. 488 00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:22,528 Were they qualified for their positions? 489 00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:24,530 No. 490 00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:26,098 But what did they accomplish? 491 00:19:26,131 --> 00:19:28,367 Yes. 492 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,836 They hit the ground running. 493 00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,404 Jared got busy solving America's 494 00:19:32,438 --> 00:19:33,839 criminal-just-opioid 495 00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:35,875 Middle Eastern, China-Mex-Canada wall. 496 00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:38,777 And Ivanka... toured factories, 497 00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:42,481 visited spaceships and even performed science stuff. 498 00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:47,553 It's like that old saying-- "Pics and it didn't happen." 499 00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:51,090 But it was on foreign affairs that Jarvanka really scored. 500 00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:54,293 Jared jetted off to Iraq to model the latest 501 00:19:54,326 --> 00:19:57,630 from the Brooks Brothers Forever War collection. 502 00:19:57,663 --> 00:20:00,432 He heroically preserved U.S.-Saudi Arabia relations 503 00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,968 after they had a little oopsy with an American journalist. 504 00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:05,471 And he turned out to be the perfect person 505 00:20:05,504 --> 00:20:08,274 to solve the conflict between Israel and Palestine. 506 00:20:08,307 --> 00:20:10,276 NEWSMAN: I want to read you what he said. 507 00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:11,877 "I've been studying this now for three years. 508 00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,812 I've read 25 books on it." 509 00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:16,448 LYDIC: That's right, 25 books. 510 00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:19,552 Kushner had acquired a Goosebump series worth of knowledge, 511 00:20:19,585 --> 00:20:22,254 and he was ready to put it to use. 512 00:20:22,288 --> 00:20:23,923 Meanwhile, Ivanka. 513 00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:26,625 She sat in her dad's chair at a G20 summit. 514 00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:28,694 So that's fun. 515 00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:31,697 Jarvanka did such a good job, that in 2020, 516 00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:35,334 President Trump gave Jared his most important job yet: 517 00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:37,002 overseeing the government's response 518 00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:38,971 to the coronavirus pandemic. 519 00:20:39,004 --> 00:20:42,041 And Jared was ready to claim victory almost immediately. 520 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,175 I think you'll see by June, 521 00:20:43,209 --> 00:20:44,677 a lot of country should be back to normal, 522 00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:46,445 and the hope is, is that by July, 523 00:20:46,478 --> 00:20:48,414 uh, the country's really rocking again. 524 00:20:48,447 --> 00:20:52,184 ? ? 525 00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:55,521 LYDIC: But there was one issue where Jarvanka really shined, 526 00:20:55,554 --> 00:20:58,691 and that issue... was themselves. 527 00:20:58,724 --> 00:21:00,192 NEWSWOMAN: Hey, brand-new questions today 528 00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:02,995 about Jared Kushner's real estate dealings. 529 00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:05,998 Last summer, his property at 666 Fifth Avenue-- 530 00:21:06,031 --> 00:21:08,000 it got a much-needed infusion of cash, 531 00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:09,702 but where did it come from? 532 00:21:09,735 --> 00:21:13,038 China, on April 6, approved Ivanka Trump's 533 00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:15,608 patenting for all of her brands to be sold in China, 534 00:21:15,641 --> 00:21:17,910 the very day that she was having dinner, 535 00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:19,912 wining and dining with the Chinese president 536 00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:21,347 at Mar-a-Lago. 537 00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:22,882 NEWSWOMAN: Ivanka, particularly is making 538 00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:26,552 millions and millions of dollars while she's in office, 539 00:21:26,585 --> 00:21:30,456 but Jared continues to oversee his real estate entities. 540 00:21:30,489 --> 00:21:32,992 So they are profiting, they're leveraging 541 00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:36,228 the presidency so that they can get richer and richer. 542 00:21:36,262 --> 00:21:37,696 LYDIC: And to think people say 543 00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:40,432 they have nothing to show for the last four years. 544 00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:43,235 Jared and Ivanka did more for Jared and Ivanka 545 00:21:43,269 --> 00:21:45,070 than any Jared and Ivanka in history. 546 00:21:45,104 --> 00:21:47,873 And when the haters tried to blame Ivanka 547 00:21:47,907 --> 00:21:51,243 for whitewashing her dad's more controversial policies, 548 00:21:51,277 --> 00:21:53,846 she had the perfect reply. 549 00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:56,215 -If being complicit... -(typewriter bell dings) 550 00:21:56,248 --> 00:22:02,488 is... wanting to... 551 00:22:02,521 --> 00:22:05,457 is wanting to be a force for good 552 00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:08,060 and to make a positive impact, 553 00:22:08,093 --> 00:22:10,062 then I'm complicit. 554 00:22:10,095 --> 00:22:11,897 LYDIC: You see, to Ivanka, 555 00:22:11,931 --> 00:22:14,567 definitions of words are like tax laws. 556 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,269 They're just suggestions. 557 00:22:17,303 --> 00:22:21,907 Where Jarvanka end up after the White House is anyone's guess. 558 00:22:21,941 --> 00:22:25,144 Will they settle into a beachside resort in Florida, 559 00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:27,546 the family villa in New Jersey or perhaps 560 00:22:27,580 --> 00:22:30,082 an island retreat off the coast of Manhattan? 561 00:22:30,115 --> 00:22:33,886 Wherever they go, they will be taking with them four years 562 00:22:33,919 --> 00:22:35,721 of being in the White House 563 00:22:35,754 --> 00:22:39,058 and saying things and going places and... 564 00:22:39,091 --> 00:22:41,193 other governmenty things. 565 00:22:41,227 --> 00:22:45,664 Jared and Ivanka, we thank you for your service. 566 00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:48,567 Whatever it was. 567 00:22:48,601 --> 00:22:50,503 Truly inspiring. 568 00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:52,671 All right, when we come back, I'll be talking 569 00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:54,740 to Carey Mulligan about her new movie, 570 00:22:54,773 --> 00:22:56,509 which has everyone talking. 571 00:22:56,542 --> 00:22:56,609 Stick around. 572 00:22:59,745 --> 00:23:01,780 Welcome back to The Daily Social Distancing Show. 573 00:23:01,814 --> 00:23:03,248 Earlier today, I spoke 574 00:23:03,282 --> 00:23:06,318 with Academy Award-nominated actor Carey Mulligan. 575 00:23:06,351 --> 00:23:09,655 We talked about her new film about female power and revenge, 576 00:23:09,688 --> 00:23:12,357 that she executive produces and stars in. 577 00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:13,759 Check it out. 578 00:23:13,792 --> 00:23:15,260 Why are you working here? 579 00:23:15,294 --> 00:23:16,495 Or... 580 00:23:16,528 --> 00:23:18,764 I didn't mean... 581 00:23:18,797 --> 00:23:20,399 That was rude. I didn't... 582 00:23:20,432 --> 00:23:23,335 You didn't mean, what am I doing working 583 00:23:23,368 --> 00:23:25,104 in a shitty coffee shop? 584 00:23:25,137 --> 00:23:28,307 Yeah. No, I just meant, you know, given... 585 00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:31,777 -There's no getting out of this, is there? -Nuh-uh. 586 00:23:31,810 --> 00:23:33,879 I'm gonna leave. Can I leave and then come back? 587 00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:36,749 And I can do it... I can do it again and be better. 588 00:23:36,782 --> 00:23:39,585 -Do you want milk? -Pardon? 589 00:23:39,618 --> 00:23:41,687 In your coffee. 590 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,691 No, but, uh, you can spit in it if you want. 591 00:23:45,724 --> 00:23:46,825 I-I deserve that. 592 00:23:50,462 --> 00:23:53,632 Carey Mulligan, welcome to The Daily Social Distancing Show. 593 00:23:53,665 --> 00:23:56,101 (laughs) Hi. How you doing? 594 00:23:56,135 --> 00:23:58,604 I'm doing as good as can be expected 595 00:23:58,637 --> 00:24:00,305 considering everything that's happening in the world. 596 00:24:00,339 --> 00:24:01,907 The question is, how are you doing? 597 00:24:01,940 --> 00:24:03,509 'Cause you're in the U.K. right now, 598 00:24:03,542 --> 00:24:06,044 and you have the new variant of corona out there 599 00:24:06,078 --> 00:24:07,913 that's just shutting everything down. 600 00:24:07,946 --> 00:24:10,349 So how are you doing, and how is everybody around you? 601 00:24:10,382 --> 00:24:13,485 Yeah, it's, um, you know, I think we all anticipated it... 602 00:24:13,519 --> 00:24:16,155 something getting worse for a little bit 603 00:24:16,188 --> 00:24:17,990 before it got better, but it's obviously, 604 00:24:18,023 --> 00:24:20,392 we're in lockdown, so we're all home-schooling, 605 00:24:20,426 --> 00:24:22,561 and it feels like we, you know, 606 00:24:22,594 --> 00:24:24,596 the beginning of March last year. 607 00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:26,865 So, uh, but no, we're very lucky. 608 00:24:26,899 --> 00:24:29,401 We live in the country, so we've got space. 609 00:24:29,435 --> 00:24:31,537 I feel like, in the hierarchy of things, 610 00:24:31,570 --> 00:24:34,072 people have said, you know, essential workers, 611 00:24:34,106 --> 00:24:36,275 it's the people helping to keep everybody alive. 612 00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:38,210 It's the people who are providing food 613 00:24:38,243 --> 00:24:39,912 and keeping grocery stores open, 614 00:24:39,945 --> 00:24:41,914 and just the teachers who are still out there, 615 00:24:41,947 --> 00:24:44,783 trying to educate kids through some of the toughest times 616 00:24:44,817 --> 00:24:46,518 we've ever experienced. 617 00:24:46,552 --> 00:24:48,821 After all of that, my top thing is 618 00:24:48,854 --> 00:24:52,624 anyone who comes out with a good movie during the pandemic. 619 00:24:52,658 --> 00:24:54,193 -Yeah. -I'm so excited 620 00:24:54,226 --> 00:24:57,729 when a new movie comes out that's actually amazing, 621 00:24:57,763 --> 00:25:01,834 and that is what you have given us with Promising Young Woman. 622 00:25:01,867 --> 00:25:04,536 I will say, though, I was shocked 623 00:25:04,570 --> 00:25:07,306 at how dark and yet funny it is. 624 00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:09,741 And am I allowed to even feel that? 625 00:25:09,775 --> 00:25:13,011 Oh, yeah. I mean, you know, it was very much kind of written 626 00:25:13,045 --> 00:25:15,414 as a dark, very dark comedy. 627 00:25:15,447 --> 00:25:18,183 I mean, it's full of comedians, the whole cast is... 628 00:25:18,217 --> 00:25:21,286 pretty much everyone, apart from Connie Britton and I, 629 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:24,223 are kind of people who are very comfortable in comedy. 630 00:25:24,256 --> 00:25:26,692 So, uh, it was definitely, yeah... 631 00:25:26,725 --> 00:25:29,495 And that's also part of what I think the shame is-- 632 00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:32,397 you know, and it's such a small thing by comparison 633 00:25:32,431 --> 00:25:34,933 to world events-- but the loss of having that experience, 634 00:25:34,967 --> 00:25:37,136 you know, for a lot of people in the cinema, 635 00:25:37,169 --> 00:25:39,138 of being around other people, it sort of, 636 00:25:39,171 --> 00:25:40,506 in these very dark comedies, 637 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:42,274 I think it's an audience around you 638 00:25:42,307 --> 00:25:44,143 that gives you permission to laugh 639 00:25:44,176 --> 00:25:46,145 in moments where you're not sure if you can laugh, 640 00:25:46,178 --> 00:25:48,213 and that's kind of part of the tension and release 641 00:25:48,247 --> 00:25:50,616 -of a film like that. -As a comdeian-- 642 00:25:50,649 --> 00:25:53,452 I think most comedians will agree with me in saying that-- 643 00:25:53,485 --> 00:25:55,954 if you say "comedy and sexual assualt," 644 00:25:55,988 --> 00:25:58,123 everyone pauses-- we go like, "I-I don't know. 645 00:25:58,157 --> 00:26:00,259 "I'm gonna... I'll talk about escalators first, 646 00:26:00,292 --> 00:26:02,494 and I'll try and get to that." 647 00:26:02,528 --> 00:26:05,564 What made you think that you could be part of making a film 648 00:26:05,597 --> 00:26:09,468 that used comedy as a tool to discuss one of the issues 649 00:26:09,501 --> 00:26:11,904 that has, I mean-- from the #MeToo movement, 650 00:26:11,937 --> 00:26:13,305 and even before that-- 651 00:26:13,338 --> 00:26:14,973 been one of the most important conversations 652 00:26:15,007 --> 00:26:16,542 to have in society? 653 00:26:16,575 --> 00:26:19,178 Well, it was really the strength of the writing, 654 00:26:19,211 --> 00:26:22,748 and meeting Emerald Fennell, who was our director. 655 00:26:22,781 --> 00:26:24,783 You know, the hardest things in life, 656 00:26:24,817 --> 00:26:28,287 we often can only get through by using humor. 657 00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:30,689 You know, some moments of your life that are completely tragic 658 00:26:30,722 --> 00:26:32,791 are marked by moments of, you know, 659 00:26:32,825 --> 00:26:34,693 kind of comedy and hysterical giggling. 660 00:26:34,726 --> 00:26:35,994 You know, the kind of... 661 00:26:36,028 --> 00:26:37,963 part of me that wants to laugh at a funeral, 662 00:26:37,996 --> 00:26:39,832 'cause you just don't know how to cope with your... 663 00:26:39,865 --> 00:26:41,967 -Right, yeah. -It feels very much like life, 664 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,269 and I think the main thing with this story is 665 00:26:44,303 --> 00:26:48,307 that it's not a fantasy-- it's based on experiences 666 00:26:48,340 --> 00:26:51,076 that so many of us know people who have been through them, 667 00:26:51,110 --> 00:26:53,112 and trying to be honest about that, 668 00:26:53,145 --> 00:26:55,280 but also recognizing that there are, 669 00:26:55,314 --> 00:26:57,216 that if you want to talk about this kind of stuff, 670 00:26:57,249 --> 00:26:59,585 and you want people to think about this kind of stuff, 671 00:26:59,618 --> 00:27:01,754 you know, there are ways of doing it 672 00:27:01,787 --> 00:27:03,255 that entice an audience. 673 00:27:03,288 --> 00:27:06,425 You know, this is a film that I think you want to see, 674 00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:08,961 as opposed to one that feel like you should see. 675 00:27:08,994 --> 00:27:12,865 You play a character who, um, whose friend is the victim 676 00:27:12,898 --> 00:27:15,734 of-- childhood friend, really-- is the victim of sexual assualt. 677 00:27:15,768 --> 00:27:18,971 And it... it leads us into a story 678 00:27:19,004 --> 00:27:21,640 of revenge and justice, really. 679 00:27:21,673 --> 00:27:23,675 Do you think there's a sense of catharsis 680 00:27:23,709 --> 00:27:25,878 that was intended in writing the script? 681 00:27:25,911 --> 00:27:27,913 Is it... is it meant in some ways to be 682 00:27:27,946 --> 00:27:30,349 the movie for people who say, like, "You know what? 683 00:27:30,382 --> 00:27:33,018 "I've experienced this, I've got a friend who's experienced this, 684 00:27:33,051 --> 00:27:35,687 "and this, this helps me feel a different way about it, 685 00:27:35,721 --> 00:27:38,357 or see my feelings from a different point of view"? 686 00:27:38,390 --> 00:27:41,260 I mean, definitely, from talking to people, 687 00:27:41,293 --> 00:27:44,596 um, they've, you know, there's been a sense of catharsis. 688 00:27:44,630 --> 00:27:47,866 I think, also, just, like, you know, for me, 689 00:27:47,900 --> 00:27:50,869 (laughs): smashing up a car, which you see. 690 00:27:50,903 --> 00:27:53,338 Uh, it's pretty fun. 691 00:27:53,372 --> 00:27:55,541 And it, um, definitely helps. 692 00:27:55,574 --> 00:27:58,210 But I think, no, I mean... 693 00:27:58,243 --> 00:28:00,746 if that's people's experience, I think that's, you know, 694 00:28:00,779 --> 00:28:03,115 that's great, but I think the conversation 695 00:28:03,148 --> 00:28:05,417 I think that Emerald was sort of hoping to create 696 00:28:05,451 --> 00:28:07,419 would be something that went further 697 00:28:07,453 --> 00:28:09,455 into the cultural conversation. 698 00:28:09,488 --> 00:28:12,391 And, you know, these situations that happen in our film 699 00:28:12,424 --> 00:28:15,127 have happened in so many comedies, 700 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:18,764 bro comedies, you know, films where a guy will try 701 00:28:18,797 --> 00:28:21,133 and lose his virginity in a nightclub 702 00:28:21,166 --> 00:28:22,634 -Right. -at any expense, 703 00:28:22,668 --> 00:28:25,237 or, you know, try and identify the most drunk girl, or... 704 00:28:25,270 --> 00:28:27,072 You know, so these are things that we've watched 705 00:28:27,106 --> 00:28:29,708 and we've kind of laughed at, and they've been so normalized 706 00:28:29,741 --> 00:28:31,043 in our culture for so long. 707 00:28:31,076 --> 00:28:33,112 Um, so it's not so much as sort of-- 708 00:28:33,145 --> 00:28:35,114 of course it touches on that stuff-- 709 00:28:35,147 --> 00:28:37,116 but it's not so much pointing blame, 710 00:28:37,149 --> 00:28:39,718 or sort of assigning people villainous roles-- 711 00:28:39,752 --> 00:28:42,020 it's more: how have we all been complicit in this? 712 00:28:42,054 --> 00:28:44,123 It does give people an opportunity 713 00:28:44,156 --> 00:28:46,258 to sort of experience this stuff through a different lens, 714 00:28:46,291 --> 00:28:48,393 'cause we're so used to seeing this kind of stuff 715 00:28:48,427 --> 00:28:51,063 told from the perspective of the boy or the man, 716 00:28:51,096 --> 00:28:53,098 -or, you know, and... -Right. 717 00:28:53,132 --> 00:28:55,400 get through, you know, the perspective 718 00:28:55,434 --> 00:28:57,469 of the very drunk girl in the corner, 719 00:28:57,503 --> 00:29:00,839 except in this situation she's actually stone-cold sober. 720 00:29:00,873 --> 00:29:03,408 You know, we-we... we've been taught to believe 721 00:29:03,442 --> 00:29:06,512 that somebody who has classically unattractve features 722 00:29:06,545 --> 00:29:09,481 is going to be the bad guy, or it's someone who looks menacing, 723 00:29:09,515 --> 00:29:12,651 acts menacing, and in this movie, what was really fantastic 724 00:29:12,684 --> 00:29:17,656 is seeing "nice guys," "good guys," being the "bad guys." 725 00:29:17,689 --> 00:29:19,625 Seeing the "good guys" doing the bad things. 726 00:29:19,658 --> 00:29:21,026 That was a really interesting choice, 727 00:29:21,059 --> 00:29:22,995 not just in the characters but in the casting as well. 728 00:29:23,028 --> 00:29:24,897 Because, I mean, you're seeing Bo Burnham in this movie, 729 00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:26,398 and you're like, "I love Bo Burnham!" 730 00:29:26,432 --> 00:29:28,500 And then I watch the movie, and I was like, 731 00:29:28,534 --> 00:29:30,135 "I don't know if I like Bo Burnham." 732 00:29:30,169 --> 00:29:32,004 -(laughs) Yeah. -That's a really... 733 00:29:32,037 --> 00:29:34,006 it's a really interesting way to tell a story, 734 00:29:34,039 --> 00:29:36,074 and it seems like it's a... it's a core tenet 735 00:29:36,108 --> 00:29:37,743 of what the story is about. 736 00:29:37,776 --> 00:29:39,745 Why do you think that was so important? 737 00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:41,814 Yeah, well, it was all very intentional. 738 00:29:41,847 --> 00:29:43,682 I think, you know, Emerald wanted people 739 00:29:43,715 --> 00:29:45,784 that we feel comfortable with 740 00:29:45,818 --> 00:29:47,653 and that we have a sort of sense of nostalgia about, 741 00:29:47,686 --> 00:29:49,688 because, you know, I think if you see somebody 742 00:29:49,721 --> 00:29:51,323 who looks sort of inherently villainous, 743 00:29:51,356 --> 00:29:53,125 and you associate them with playing the baddie 744 00:29:53,158 --> 00:29:55,194 in a bunch of films, like, you immediately distrust him. 745 00:29:55,227 --> 00:29:57,763 I think the point about this was that you would enter 746 00:29:57,796 --> 00:30:01,033 into one of these situations and feel comfortable momentarily 747 00:30:01,066 --> 00:30:03,869 with this person, and you'd feel safe. 748 00:30:03,902 --> 00:30:06,305 And it goes to the casting of Connie Britton as the dean. 749 00:30:06,338 --> 00:30:08,440 This is someone that you know, Connie's like, 750 00:30:08,474 --> 00:30:11,343 everyone's favorite person and you would go to her 751 00:30:11,376 --> 00:30:14,046 if you were in a crisis and... so I think, you know, 752 00:30:14,079 --> 00:30:15,981 subverting our expectations around that stuff, 753 00:30:16,014 --> 00:30:17,483 was really important. 754 00:30:17,516 --> 00:30:19,551 And also the way that Emerald directed was so brilliant, 755 00:30:19,585 --> 00:30:22,187 because she told each of the men-- Adam Brody 756 00:30:22,221 --> 00:30:24,056 and Sam Richardson and... 757 00:30:24,089 --> 00:30:25,724 uh, at the beginning of the scene, you know, this is, 758 00:30:25,758 --> 00:30:28,293 "this is a romantic comedy and you're the lead. 759 00:30:28,327 --> 00:30:30,629 "You know, you've just met the love of your life. 760 00:30:30,662 --> 00:30:32,264 -Wow. -That's how you play the scene." 761 00:30:32,297 --> 00:30:34,633 So they were all entering into it with this sort of amazing, 762 00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:38,170 earnest, committed, kind of, I'm the hero here 763 00:30:38,203 --> 00:30:40,572 and I'm gonna save this girl, you know? 764 00:30:40,606 --> 00:30:43,642 So the approach, I think it highlights 765 00:30:43,675 --> 00:30:46,879 what it feels like when this is not happening 766 00:30:46,912 --> 00:30:48,781 to someone that you, that you don't like 767 00:30:48,814 --> 00:30:51,183 or don't know, this is what it feels like, 768 00:30:51,216 --> 00:30:53,352 you know, what if-- it's a very different situation 769 00:30:53,385 --> 00:30:55,487 if someone you know gets accused of something like this. 770 00:30:55,521 --> 00:30:59,925 So casting these very, kind of photogenic, sweet, lovely 771 00:30:59,958 --> 00:31:02,361 people that are genuinely lovely in real life, 772 00:31:02,394 --> 00:31:04,530 I think puts a different twist on that. 773 00:31:04,563 --> 00:31:07,065 I will say it's, uh, it is dark, 774 00:31:07,099 --> 00:31:09,835 it is thrilling and it is funny in moments 775 00:31:09,868 --> 00:31:12,037 where you-you genuinely do not expect it to be. 776 00:31:12,070 --> 00:31:13,872 Uh, but most importantly, it's, uh, 777 00:31:13,906 --> 00:31:15,374 easily the best film of the year. 778 00:31:15,407 --> 00:31:17,709 I know the year just began, but it's, uh, still gonna be 779 00:31:17,743 --> 00:31:19,445 one of the best films of the year-- thank you so much 780 00:31:19,478 --> 00:31:22,214 for joining us on the show and, uh, congratulations once again. 781 00:31:22,247 --> 00:31:24,650 Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. 782 00:31:24,683 --> 00:31:27,186 Don't forget, Promising Young Woman is in theaters 783 00:31:27,219 --> 00:31:29,154 and available On Demand. 784 00:31:29,188 --> 00:31:30,589 We're gonna take a quick break right now. 785 00:31:30,622 --> 00:31:30,689 But we'll be right back after this. 786 00:31:33,891 --> 00:31:35,693 Well, that's our show for tonight, but before we go, 787 00:31:35,726 --> 00:31:39,797 COVID-19 has killed more than two million people worldwide 788 00:31:39,830 --> 00:31:43,267 and today, the United States passed 400,000 deaths 789 00:31:43,300 --> 00:31:44,969 from this virus. 790 00:31:45,002 --> 00:31:47,671 The pandemic is as bad as it has ever been. 791 00:31:47,705 --> 00:31:50,274 But luckily our first responders are still out there 792 00:31:50,307 --> 00:31:52,476 on the frontlines saving lives. 793 00:31:52,509 --> 00:31:56,280 Now if you can help them out, then please consider a donation 794 00:31:56,313 --> 00:31:59,416 to First Responders First, which offers first-class medical 795 00:31:59,450 --> 00:32:02,553 and psychological treatment for the first responders. 796 00:32:02,586 --> 00:32:05,322 Find out how you can help at the link below. 797 00:32:05,356 --> 00:32:07,925 Until tomorrow, stay safe out there, 798 00:32:07,958 --> 00:32:09,793 wear a mask and remember, 799 00:32:09,827 --> 00:32:12,763 blue lives more than black lives matter, 800 00:32:12,796 --> 00:32:14,331 but when white lives come along, 801 00:32:14,365 --> 00:32:16,533 well, then those blue lives don't mean shit. 802 00:32:16,567 --> 00:32:19,136 Now here it is, Your Moment of Zen. 803 00:32:21,005 --> 00:32:23,474 So I can just say bye-bye, I'm going to Florida. 804 00:32:23,507 --> 00:32:24,909 Bye-bye! Bye-bye! 805 00:32:24,942 --> 00:32:26,277 Bye-bye, enjoy yourself. 806 00:32:26,310 --> 00:32:28,812 Bye-bye! Bye-Bye! Bye-bye, folks. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. 807 00:32:28,846 --> 00:32:30,781 Mommy, Mommy, take me home, I'm out of here. 808 00:32:30,814 --> 00:32:32,483 Get me the hell out of here, Mom... 809 00:32:32,516 --> 00:32:34,652 Forget about the American people! 810 00:32:34,685 --> 00:32:34,752 Mommy, I want out of here right now.