1 00:00:00,334 --> 00:00:02,102 - Hi, kids, it's me, Trevor Noah. 2 00:00:03,470 --> 00:00:06,507 Listen, I know it's really hard during this pandemic to learn 3 00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:09,209 anything from a TV or a computer. 4 00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:11,245 Heck, it's hard for adults. 5 00:00:11,311 --> 00:00:13,480 A lot of them try to learn things online. 6 00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:16,283 And the next thing you know, they're storming the Capitol. 7 00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,051 But I wanted to help. 8 00:00:18,118 --> 00:00:20,354 So I asked the team here at "The Daily Show" 9 00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:23,557 to help put together a lesson plan for you guys. 10 00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:25,859 And not just any lesson, but the lessons 11 00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:29,196 you won't learn in school but that you need to know 12 00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:31,565 before life teaches them to you the hard way. 13 00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:33,500 My friends at the show agreed to help 14 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:35,636 because they're all under contract. 15 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,805 So without further ado, please enjoy "The Daily Show's" 16 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:42,242 special presentation, "Remotely Educational". 17 00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:45,846 ♪♪ 18 00:00:57,124 --> 00:01:00,494 - Oh, hey, kids, welcome to geography class. 19 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,296 What's the capital of Mozambique? 20 00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:04,398 I don't know, Google that shit. 21 00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:05,732 I am going to teach you 22 00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:07,901 geography you won't learn in school, 23 00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:09,136 but need to know. 24 00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:12,406 Like today's lesson: Who Hates Who? 25 00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:14,474 That's something you've gotta know. 26 00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:16,076 If your cab driver is Serbian, 27 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,378 you can't be talking about that trip you took to Croatia. 28 00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:20,447 You're gonna get your ass thrown out on the street. 29 00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:22,616 So I'ma tell you who hates who around the globe. 30 00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:24,952 But I'm not going into why, because I know I'll get 31 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,788 one little thing wrong and then both of 'em gonna be mad at me. 32 00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:29,289 And I don't want Kyrgyzstan in my mentions-- 33 00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:30,757 (phone beeping) 34 00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:32,125 Yeah, there they go already. 35 00:01:32,192 --> 00:01:34,561 Okay, let's begin. 36 00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,797 Chinese and Japanese hate each other. 37 00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:39,533 Indians and Pakistanis can't stand each other. 38 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,201 Vietnamese and Cambodians 39 00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:44,438 do not want to be in the same room, at all. 40 00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:45,873 Turks and Armenians hate each other. 41 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,908 Turks and Greeks also hate each other. 42 00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:50,511 Turks and Kurds, they hate each other too. 43 00:01:50,577 --> 00:01:53,547 Honestly, Turkey is the NeNe Leakes of Europe. 44 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,849 They always at the center of some shit. 45 00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:57,351 You got the Russians and the Chechnyans, 46 00:01:57,417 --> 00:01:58,719 they always arguing. 47 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,521 Hungarians and Roma, 48 00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:01,955 Dinka and the Nuer, 49 00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,257 the Irish and the British, 50 00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:04,625 Scots and the British, 51 00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:05,959 English and the British-- 52 00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:08,529 honestly, that whole island hate itself. 53 00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:10,197 Ghana and Nigeria. 54 00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:12,165 Now, from what I understand about this beef, 55 00:02:12,232 --> 00:02:14,902 this one is mostly about rice. 56 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,371 So here's the thing, Nigerians think Ghanaian rice 57 00:02:17,437 --> 00:02:19,373 tastes like concrete, and Guineans think 58 00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:22,643 Nigerian rice is a bigger international crime 59 00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:24,311 than their email scams. 60 00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:27,414 Fortunately, centuries of colonialism have made 61 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:30,117 both countries too poor to afford a nuke, 62 00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:31,919 so it don't really matter that much. 63 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,620 Iranians and the Saudis, 64 00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:36,089 Saudis and the Houthis, Saudis and the Qataris, 65 00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:37,391 Saudis and the Israelis-- 66 00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:39,726 although, now they're becoming friends 67 00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:41,728 because they both hate the Iranians more. 68 00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:43,997 In a way, Iran is really bringing 69 00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:45,399 the Middle East together. 70 00:02:45,465 --> 00:02:47,201 You've got the Sudan and South Sudan, 71 00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:48,869 North Korea and South Korea. 72 00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:50,671 Matter of fact, if there's two countries 73 00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:52,172 with the same name, 74 00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:54,775 they definitely hate each other. 75 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:56,777 And then, of course, you've got 76 00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:58,779 the Israelis and the Palestinia-- 77 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,514 (phone beeping) 78 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,282 I said I'm not getting into it! 79 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,251 God damn. (beep) 80 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,786 All right, let's wrap this up. 81 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:06,954 Last beef, 82 00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:09,823 America and everybody else. 83 00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:10,958 Yeah, that's right. 84 00:03:11,058 --> 00:03:12,926 I'ma give it to you straight, kids. 85 00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,628 Every other country hates us. 86 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,063 They all hate us. 87 00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:18,699 Some of them we invaded, some of them we overthrew, 88 00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:20,067 most of them we bombed, 89 00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,869 some of them we saved from the Nazis, 90 00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,303 so I don't know why they mad. 91 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,973 But it is what it is, the game is the game. 92 00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:28,475 But that leads me to my Tip of the Day, kids. 93 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,811 If you ever travel abroad, 94 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,679 do what I do... 95 00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,515 pretend you're Canadian! 96 00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:36,350 Hell yeah, you put that maple leaf 97 00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:39,119 on your head right there, man, 'cause the here's the thing. 98 00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:43,290 If it's one country that nobody hates, it's Canada. 99 00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,292 To be honest, I don't know what that's all "aboot," 100 00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:47,594 but I'ma make it work for me. 101 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:49,429 That's it for today, kids. 102 00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,632 See you next time in geography class. 103 00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:53,367 Eh? 104 00:03:58,172 --> 00:04:00,607 - (speaking Spanish) 105 00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:27,568 - Hi, kids, welcome to Miss Desi's Math for Real Life. 106 00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:29,303 Calculus is cool and all, 107 00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:31,371 but if you're part of the 99% of adults 108 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,507 who don't become math teachers, you'll want to learn 109 00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:35,509 some math that you won't learn in school. 110 00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:38,512 Now there are two times normal adults use math: 111 00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:41,515 Tipping your waiter 20%... 112 00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:43,350 - This is only 8%. 113 00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,686 - ...and buying a home. 114 00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:47,487 Buying a home is like getting married. 115 00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:49,423 It's a huge decision and you're only gonna do it 116 00:04:49,489 --> 00:04:51,291 one to four times in your life. 117 00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:54,595 Lucky for you, I'm a licensed real estate agent 118 00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:56,096 like one third of adults in America, 119 00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:59,266 so I can help you through this big decision. 120 00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,470 Usually to buy a house, 121 00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:06,173 you'll need to put 20% of the price as a down payment. 122 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,742 So for a $500,000 house, you'll need to have 123 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,744 $100,000 in savings. 124 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,614 But you only have $3,000. 125 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,482 Don't worry, we'll figure that out later. 126 00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:17,784 Let's move on to the fun part... 127 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,590 Look at all these beautiful houses. 128 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,192 - I'm a Victorian! 129 00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:26,760 - I'm Mid-century modern. 130 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,496 - And we're twins. 131 00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:32,666 - But you can't afford any of these houses. 132 00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:35,068 Oh wait, but what about that one on the end over there? 133 00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:36,503 That looks nice. 134 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:39,106 - I'm only affordable because a murder happened in me 135 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,108 and I can't stop thinking about it. 136 00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:44,111 My walls will never be clean. 137 00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:46,947 - In realtor speak, we call this "character." 138 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,682 So let's put an offer in. 139 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,553 An offer is the price you tell the seller 140 00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:54,421 you're willing to pay for the house. 141 00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:57,791 Let's offer $750K contingent on inspection. 142 00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,027 I think that's good. 143 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,029 Ooh, they countered at 144 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,897 $2 million, last and final. 145 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:06,266 I know it's more than we talked about but I suggest we take it. 146 00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:08,101 There's a Saudi shell company right behind you 147 00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:09,603 ready to pay all cash. 148 00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:11,605 Just a quick thing, I'm paid on commission, 149 00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:13,941 so it's really important to me that you buy this house, 150 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,810 but not really important to me that you can afford it. 151 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:19,446 So you'll accept? Congrats, onto step four. 152 00:06:21,315 --> 00:06:22,916 Once you've signed the initial contract, 153 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,585 now it's time to send a forest's worth 154 00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:26,286 of paperwork to the bank. 155 00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:27,788 They'll need pay stubs, bank statements, 156 00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:30,057 W-2s, a credit report, a letter from your employer, 157 00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:32,059 and your parents address because 158 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,194 somebody's gonna pay for this house! 159 00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:37,097 While you fill all that out, let's get the house inspected. 160 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,368 Hello, Mr. Wrench, how the house looking? 161 00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:42,703 - Oh, yeah, it's falling apart. 162 00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:44,705 You got black mold, the furnace is shot, 163 00:06:44,771 --> 00:06:46,273 and the septic system needs to be replaced. 164 00:06:46,340 --> 00:06:48,275 - That's right, the septic system. 165 00:06:48,342 --> 00:06:50,944 I bet you didn't know this house has a big tub of shit under it. 166 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,846 It's right next to the well. 167 00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:56,950 Once the bank approves your paperwork, 168 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,152 you sign the final contracts with the previous owner 169 00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,555 and the bank and you own the house. 170 00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,223 (triumphant music) 171 00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:05,225 Specifically, you own 20% of the house, 172 00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:07,494 the rest belongs to the bank-- oh, which reminds me, 173 00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:09,496 meet Marty the Mortgage. - Where's my money? 174 00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:11,331 You better have it by the first of the month 175 00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:12,833 or your ass will be out in the street. 176 00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:15,335 I don't give a crap if it's winter. 177 00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:18,071 So remember to pay your mortgage and be happy, 178 00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:20,507 because you're living the American dream. 179 00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:22,442 You own a home! 180 00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:24,511 And that's math class. 181 00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:29,349 (tape whirring) 182 00:07:29,416 --> 00:07:33,687 (distorted music) 183 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,055 (narrator) This is a factory. 184 00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:38,692 It's where we make the products we use. 185 00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:41,061 At the loading dock, raw materials arrive 186 00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:42,930 to start the process. 187 00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:48,402 Inside, workers do specialized jobs on the assembly line. 188 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,737 In the office, managers plan 189 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:53,707 how to move the whole operation overseas. 190 00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:56,243 These talks spill over into steak dinners 191 00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:58,512 where difficult choices are made. 192 00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:02,349 This is the new, cheaper factoryin Cambodia. 193 00:08:02,416 --> 00:08:05,452 With increased profits, shareholders and executives 194 00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:07,588 are able to buy yachts, 195 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:12,292 artwork, narcotics, politicians, 196 00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:15,596 and memberships in sadistic sex cults. 197 00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:18,532 Through this process, America's business leaders 198 00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,267 keep the country running 199 00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:22,936 while turning old factories into loft apartments 200 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:28,542 for their adult children who do filmmaking, photography, 201 00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:30,878 and other fake things. 202 00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:33,046 This process will be repeated until 203 00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:35,382 the system collapses, leaving us scavenging 204 00:08:35,449 --> 00:08:37,551 for berries and potable water. 205 00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:40,287 And that is how business works. 206 00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:45,624 (female narrator) Today's show was brought to you 207 00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:47,926 by the letters M and K. 208 00:08:47,993 --> 00:08:51,463 MKUltra was a CIA mind control project 209 00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:53,899 that illegally experimented on humans to identify 210 00:08:53,966 --> 00:08:56,969 substances that could coerce people into making confessions. 211 00:08:57,035 --> 00:08:59,471 M-K! 212 00:08:59,538 --> 00:09:01,473 ♪♪ 213 00:09:04,643 --> 00:09:08,413 ♪♪ 214 00:09:18,924 --> 00:09:21,160 - Hey, uh, welcome to science class today. 215 00:09:21,226 --> 00:09:23,996 Today we're gonna talk about animals. 216 00:09:24,062 --> 00:09:27,599 And I know you kids all like the fancy animals, okay, 217 00:09:27,666 --> 00:09:29,268 but stop being so thirsty for hippos, 218 00:09:29,334 --> 00:09:31,436 because unless you're a Colombian drug lord 219 00:09:31,503 --> 00:09:33,272 you're never gonna own one, okay? 220 00:09:33,338 --> 00:09:35,841 Instead, today, we're gonna talk about the animals 221 00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:38,010 you'll actually encounter. 222 00:09:38,076 --> 00:09:40,679 The ones that will infest your house, 223 00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:43,682 animals like the fruit fly. 224 00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:45,584 This is a mild infestation. 225 00:09:45,684 --> 00:09:48,120 As far as the insects go, fruit flies are pretty chill. 226 00:09:48,187 --> 00:09:49,922 They are like most Brooklyn hipsters, 227 00:09:49,988 --> 00:09:53,125 very picky eaters, and they have zero upper body strength. 228 00:09:53,192 --> 00:09:55,427 Also, they do it doggy style. 229 00:09:55,494 --> 00:09:57,429 Who knew? 230 00:09:57,496 --> 00:10:00,199 Anyway, getting rid of them is pretty straightforward. 231 00:10:00,265 --> 00:10:03,836 Just stop leaving piles of rotting fruit lying around, duh! 232 00:10:03,902 --> 00:10:06,371 A worst infestation is bedbugs. 233 00:10:06,438 --> 00:10:09,341 Much like Armie Hammer, they feed on human blood. 234 00:10:09,408 --> 00:10:11,877 Getting rid of bedbugs is almost impossible. 235 00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:15,481 So if you get them, the best solution is to just leave. 236 00:10:15,547 --> 00:10:17,583 Walk out of the door, start a new life, 237 00:10:17,716 --> 00:10:19,551 like Miley Cyrus. 238 00:10:19,618 --> 00:10:21,720 People think Hannah Montana was a character, but it was just 239 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:23,989 who she was until she got bedbugs. 240 00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:27,459 Next up, lady bugs or as scientists call them, 241 00:10:27,526 --> 00:10:29,161 "women bugs." 242 00:10:29,228 --> 00:10:32,297 This is maybe the best infestation you can have. 243 00:10:32,364 --> 00:10:33,632 They don't really do anything 244 00:10:33,732 --> 00:10:35,801 and for bugs, they look pretty. 245 00:10:35,868 --> 00:10:38,137 They're like beetles that just got their nails done. 246 00:10:38,203 --> 00:10:41,440 But enough about insects, let's move on to mammals, 247 00:10:41,507 --> 00:10:45,244 specifically mice, the freeloader rodents. 248 00:10:45,310 --> 00:10:48,714 And to be clear, not all rodents are freeloaders. 249 00:10:48,780 --> 00:10:50,382 Just look at squirrels. 250 00:10:50,449 --> 00:10:52,151 They're like small business owners, 251 00:10:52,217 --> 00:10:53,819 hustling out there, 252 00:10:53,886 --> 00:10:56,188 renting storage lockers for their nuts. 253 00:10:56,255 --> 00:10:58,690 But mice just want your food. 254 00:10:58,690 --> 00:11:02,127 Now, mice like to come into your home because it's nice and cozy. 255 00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:05,697 That's why the best way to deter that is to make your home 256 00:11:05,764 --> 00:11:08,901 cold and inhospitable, like a Scandinavian's. 257 00:11:08,967 --> 00:11:11,904 If you do have mice, you'll know because they take 258 00:11:11,970 --> 00:11:14,239 these little shits in your house that look exactly like 259 00:11:14,306 --> 00:11:17,709 chocolate Tic Tacs, but they are not chocolate Tic Tacs. 260 00:11:17,709 --> 00:11:21,947 That's a lesson I learned many, many times. 261 00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:25,117 Finally, the king of pests: raccoons. 262 00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:27,085 Raccoons evolved millions of years ago 263 00:11:27,152 --> 00:11:28,887 when a bear (bleep) a monkey. 264 00:11:28,954 --> 00:11:30,722 (chuckles) Of course I'm just kidding. 265 00:11:30,789 --> 00:11:33,725 Science doesn't actually know where they came from. 266 00:11:33,792 --> 00:11:36,895 Mostly they just go through your garbage looking for food 267 00:11:36,962 --> 00:11:38,897 and anything they can sell on eBay. 268 00:11:38,964 --> 00:11:40,732 They're how nature recycles. 269 00:11:40,732 --> 00:11:42,534 You have to be careful around raccoons. 270 00:11:42,601 --> 00:11:45,037 They are one of the primary carriers of rabies, 271 00:11:45,103 --> 00:11:48,273 a virus that makes animals act like they're from New Jersey. 272 00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:50,943 If you see a raccoon foaming at the mouth, 273 00:11:51,009 --> 00:11:53,178 do not go near it with a calzone. 274 00:11:53,245 --> 00:11:55,347 It will fight you for it. 275 00:11:55,414 --> 00:11:58,016 So, yeah, those are all the animals 276 00:11:58,083 --> 00:11:59,751 you actually need to know about. 277 00:11:59,818 --> 00:12:01,720 I hope you found this educational. 278 00:12:01,787 --> 00:12:04,490 Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna enjoy some of these 279 00:12:04,556 --> 00:12:07,960 chocolate Tic Tacs I just found. 280 00:12:08,026 --> 00:12:10,796 Oh-- (spits) Damnit! 281 00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:13,499 Okay, well, I'll see you guys next week. 282 00:12:13,565 --> 00:12:16,702 Mmm, maybe this one? 283 00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:19,972 No! No, no. That was poo too. 284 00:12:20,038 --> 00:12:23,442 ♪♪ 285 00:12:29,815 --> 00:12:33,018 ♪♪ 286 00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:35,020 (whistle blowing) 287 00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:37,156 - All right, everybody, it's time for gym class. 288 00:12:37,222 --> 00:12:38,490 It's also time for sex ed, 289 00:12:38,557 --> 00:12:40,926 which is taught by gym teachers for some reason. 290 00:12:40,993 --> 00:12:42,895 Let's get right into it, shall we? 291 00:12:42,961 --> 00:12:44,963 (whistling) 292 00:12:46,665 --> 00:12:49,134 Sex. (chuckles) 293 00:12:49,201 --> 00:12:50,936 These days, the internet is going to give you 294 00:12:51,003 --> 00:12:54,072 the wrong idea about sex, that it's fun. 295 00:12:54,139 --> 00:12:55,474 Well, it's not. 296 00:12:55,541 --> 00:12:57,843 When you're single, getting lucky isn't having sex. 297 00:12:57,910 --> 00:13:00,179 It's getting a clean blood test six weeks later. 298 00:13:00,245 --> 00:13:02,114 And when you're married? (blows raspberry) 299 00:13:02,181 --> 00:13:04,449 It's not much better. She's more interested 300 00:13:04,516 --> 00:13:07,286 in her Hitachi personal massager from Brookstone. 301 00:13:07,352 --> 00:13:10,289 And you're so desensitized by porn that you can't 302 00:13:10,355 --> 00:13:11,857 get things going unless you imagine 303 00:13:11,924 --> 00:13:14,226 she's a mermaid but with legs. 304 00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:16,395 Hey, let's get 20 jumping jacks going, hit me! 305 00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:20,699 (blows whistle rhythmically) 306 00:13:20,732 --> 00:13:23,535 Now, if you're into feet, that's kind of cool because 307 00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:25,270 you can just go to the beach. 308 00:13:25,337 --> 00:13:28,040 ♪♪ 309 00:13:28,106 --> 00:13:31,243 ♪♪ 310 00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:33,545 - Grandpa Lew, I'm Billy. 311 00:13:33,612 --> 00:13:36,415 I'm nine years old, and one day I will be 312 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:39,151 president of the United States. 313 00:13:39,218 --> 00:13:41,587 - Well, first off, don't call me "grandpa," kid. 314 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,723 Secondly, no, you're not! 315 00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:46,792 You'll have to wait until you're 35, 316 00:13:46,859 --> 00:13:50,662 and this country's not gonna be around that long. 317 00:13:50,662 --> 00:13:52,898 But if you like throwing your weight around 318 00:13:52,965 --> 00:13:56,235 and holding the fate of people in the palm of your hand, 319 00:13:56,301 --> 00:14:00,906 why not enter the exciting field of reality show judges? 320 00:14:00,973 --> 00:14:03,909 There's voting, people respect your opinion 321 00:14:03,976 --> 00:14:07,279 even though you have no clue what you're talking about, 322 00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:09,915 and the best part is you'll never have to eat 323 00:14:09,982 --> 00:14:13,585 a corn dog in (bleep) Iowa! 324 00:14:13,685 --> 00:14:15,420 So be that instead. 325 00:14:15,487 --> 00:14:17,523 I command it! 326 00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:22,127 - Grandpa Lew, I love animals. 327 00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:25,731 I have a dog and a cat now and my dream job when I grow up 328 00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:28,267 is to help them by becoming a veterinarian. 329 00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:33,872 - Again, it's not Grandpa Lew, it's Guidance Counselor Lew. 330 00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:37,709 And unfortunately, vet school can cost over $300 grand 331 00:14:37,709 --> 00:14:39,878 and will take you decades to pay off, 332 00:14:39,945 --> 00:14:44,216 because people love their pets, but they love their money more. 333 00:14:44,283 --> 00:14:46,118 I'm not taking out a second mortgage 334 00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:48,387 to fix Muffin's thyroid. 335 00:14:48,453 --> 00:14:50,889 Lucky for you, there's a cheaper way 336 00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:53,725 to work with animals without all the hassle. 337 00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:55,561 The Russian circus! 338 00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:58,697 An unregulated paradise of animal performers. 339 00:14:58,764 --> 00:15:02,134 You'll get to treat all kinds of furry friends, 340 00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:05,270 from endangered species sold on the black market, 341 00:15:05,337 --> 00:15:08,674 to a panda that you're pretty sure is actually just a dog 342 00:15:08,707 --> 00:15:10,209 painted black and white. 343 00:15:10,275 --> 00:15:12,277 And you not only get to care for bears, 344 00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:14,213 you get to wrestle 'em. 345 00:15:14,279 --> 00:15:16,582 What a treat, huh? 346 00:15:16,682 --> 00:15:18,584 I'm going to sign you up. 347 00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:22,287 - Grandpa Lew, I'm Kylie, 348 00:15:22,354 --> 00:15:25,324 and when I grow up, I want to be an astronaut. 349 00:15:25,390 --> 00:15:27,526 - That's a great career choice. 350 00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:28,861 I mean, to be an astronaut, 351 00:15:28,927 --> 00:15:31,330 you have to be an expert in math and science. 352 00:15:31,396 --> 00:15:34,333 And if you're trapped in the American educational system, 353 00:15:34,399 --> 00:15:37,269 you've got no chance at that. 354 00:15:37,336 --> 00:15:42,307 So I suggest you try for another job that will let you enjoy 355 00:15:42,374 --> 00:15:45,244 the majesty of space... 356 00:15:45,310 --> 00:15:47,246 an usher at a planetarium! 357 00:15:47,312 --> 00:15:50,415 You get to experience distant worlds! 358 00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:52,751 So do that instead. 359 00:15:54,686 --> 00:15:59,358 All right, last kid, I am getting sick of this shit. 360 00:15:59,424 --> 00:16:02,795 - Mr. Black, I'm Olivia 361 00:16:02,861 --> 00:16:05,497 and I want to become a mid-level account representative 362 00:16:05,564 --> 00:16:08,367 for a marketing company. 363 00:16:08,433 --> 00:16:12,171 - Now that's a career choice! 364 00:16:12,237 --> 00:16:14,773 You don't need any advice from me, Olivia. 365 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,142 You get what life's all about. 366 00:16:17,209 --> 00:16:20,212 Set a realistic goal, achieve it, 367 00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:23,749 and spend your weekends drinking margaritas at Chili's. 368 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,252 All right, well, that's enough 369 00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:30,088 correcting kids' hopeless dreams. 370 00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:33,125 Until next time, goodbye from Grandpa Lew-- 371 00:16:33,192 --> 00:16:34,860 I mean, Guidance Counselor Lew! 372 00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:37,429 Damnit, now they got me doing it! 373 00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:41,066 - ♪ Yah, let me introduce you ♪ 374 00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:42,701 ♪ To some new thangs ♪ 375 00:16:42,734 --> 00:16:44,670 ♪ New thangs... ♪ 376 00:16:44,736 --> 00:16:46,738 (all speaking Korean) 377 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,129 - The answer after the break. 378 00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:53,172 - The answer is... C! 379 00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:56,008 While cheetahs can reach 75 miles an hour, 380 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,677 a properly intoxicated congressman can drive from 381 00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:01,113 a crime scene at twice that speed. 382 00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:04,183 ♪♪ 383 00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:09,221 - Hey, kids, today we're going to learn about commerce, 384 00:18:09,288 --> 00:18:11,056 and we're going to do it with some help from my friend 385 00:18:11,123 --> 00:18:12,891 Smugly. - (groans) 386 00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:15,260 - Smugly, I wanna buy an action figure collectible 387 00:18:15,327 --> 00:18:17,162 from the new Robo-Dinosaur movie, 388 00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:18,797 but I'm not sure if I have enough money. 389 00:18:18,864 --> 00:18:21,667 If I have four quarters and ten dimes, 390 00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:23,702 can you tell me how much that's worth? 391 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,771 - Yeah, you got scrap metal. 392 00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:28,674 - No, it's money. 393 00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:30,342 - That's called Fiat money. 394 00:18:30,409 --> 00:18:31,677 And the future is crypto. 395 00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:34,012 You've gotta get into bitcoin. 396 00:18:34,079 --> 00:18:36,348 - Bitcoin, isn't that the money you use 397 00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:38,250 to buy synthetic marijuana from the Philippines? 398 00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:40,419 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 399 00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:42,121 I mean, yes, but not just that. 400 00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:44,390 You can buy all kinds of things with bitcoin. 401 00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:47,559 - Like a Robo-Dinosaur collectible? 402 00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:49,728 - Uh, sure, you can buy any dumb toy you want. 403 00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,263 - Well, technically, it's not a toy, it's a collectable. 404 00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:54,066 - You see, Bitcoin is a semi anonymous digital currency 405 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,502 with transactions recorded in an open ledger 406 00:18:56,568 --> 00:18:58,837 stored online in what's called the blockchain. 407 00:18:58,904 --> 00:19:01,407 - Ooh, blockchain, like Legos. 408 00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:03,709 - Legos? Jesus Christ... - Similar to Legos. 409 00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:04,877 - Okay, let me start at the beginning. 410 00:19:04,943 --> 00:19:07,880 Give me a dollar. 411 00:19:07,946 --> 00:19:12,051 - Okay, now what is this dollar bill worth? 412 00:19:12,117 --> 00:19:14,153 - One dollar. - Mm-hmm. 413 00:19:14,286 --> 00:19:16,288 Which is worth wiping my puppet ass with. 414 00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:18,190 - What? Oh, Smugly, that's my dollar. 415 00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:21,126 - Relax, man, every dollar bill has been in someone's ass. 416 00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:23,629 The point is it comes from a central bank which can just 417 00:19:23,695 --> 00:19:25,297 print them out of thin air. 418 00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:28,100 That's called inflation. 419 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,768 And that's why 30 years ago, 420 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,837 a bottle of Lambrusco only cost $5, 421 00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:33,338 and now I'm paying like 15? 422 00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:35,340 That's highway robbery. 423 00:19:35,407 --> 00:19:38,877 - So how does Bitcoin fix all of this? 424 00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:41,046 - Oh, well, it's hard capped at 21 million bitcoins, 425 00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:43,082 so there's no inflation, and the only way to find 426 00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:45,084 those 21 million is through mining. 427 00:19:45,150 --> 00:19:47,686 - Mining, so bitcoins come from the ground. 428 00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:49,688 - No, not that kind of mining. 429 00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:52,758 Jesus, this is why I didn't want to work on a kid's show. 430 00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:55,694 But, oh, a puppet can't work a trading desk at Goldman. 431 00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:58,330 That's discrimination. 432 00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:01,133 - Should you really be mixing pills and wine like that? 433 00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:02,267 That's how Prince died. 434 00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:04,169 - Whoa... 435 00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:07,106 (retches) 436 00:20:07,172 --> 00:20:09,408 Okay, all you need to know is that you and all the other kids 437 00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:11,477 out there better make the leap to bitcoin 438 00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:15,280 as soon as you can. - Can't, I'm 41. 439 00:20:15,314 --> 00:20:16,749 - 41? 440 00:20:16,815 --> 00:20:18,283 And you're trying to buy a toy dinosaur? 441 00:20:18,317 --> 00:20:20,152 Sweetbaby James, I thought you just had like, 442 00:20:20,285 --> 00:20:21,487 a hormone imbalance or something... 443 00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:22,988 - To be clear, it's a collectible. 444 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,758 Look, if I want to buy one of these bitcoins, 445 00:20:25,824 --> 00:20:27,626 how much does it cost? - Well, that depends 446 00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:29,862 on the market rate and what someone will take for it. 447 00:20:29,928 --> 00:20:31,764 Right now, they're worth a lot. 448 00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:34,800 - More than a toy dinosaur? - A toy dinosaur? 449 00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:37,536 Buddy, for one bitcoin, I could pay Barney to watch me 450 00:20:37,603 --> 00:20:39,571 Baby Bop his wife. (chuckles) 451 00:20:39,638 --> 00:20:41,573 - Sounds like I better get a bitcoin. 452 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,576 It's the money of the future unless the power 453 00:20:44,643 --> 00:20:46,311 or internet access goes out, 454 00:20:46,311 --> 00:20:47,813 and the risk of being decentralized means 455 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,582 if someone gets control of 51% of the blockchain, 456 00:20:50,649 --> 00:20:52,117 they may alter the ledger, 457 00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,685 and of course the deflation problem 458 00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:56,255 because why would anyone use bitcoin to buy things 459 00:20:56,321 --> 00:20:58,123 if it keeps getting more valuable? 460 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,826 And hey, you may not be able to print new bitcoins, 461 00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:03,595 but anyone can make new crypto, so bitcoin could be made 462 00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:05,097 obsolete through competition, 463 00:21:05,164 --> 00:21:08,434 or the government could just decide to ban them. 464 00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:11,403 Anyway, that's just a couple thoughts off the top of my head. 465 00:21:11,470 --> 00:21:14,440 - Yeah, those are, uh, those are good points. 466 00:21:14,506 --> 00:21:16,775 That's why the safest thing to do is to diversify 467 00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:18,410 and to put your money into other things. 468 00:21:18,477 --> 00:21:20,279 - Like what? - Well, while you were talking, 469 00:21:20,312 --> 00:21:22,081 I bought this collectible dinosaur. 470 00:21:22,147 --> 00:21:24,717 - Okay, well, that's what I wanted to buy. 471 00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:27,186 - Yeah, exactly. There's clearly a demand, 472 00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:29,188 and that's what makes it valuable in the market. 473 00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,023 - Why don't you let me buy that off you? 474 00:21:31,090 --> 00:21:32,524 - Well, you can bid for it on eBay 475 00:21:32,591 --> 00:21:33,892 with all the rest of the man-children. 476 00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,729 (laughs heartily) - That's a dick move! 477 00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:39,064 - That's commerce for you, kids! 478 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,866 (laughs) 479 00:21:46,372 --> 00:21:49,375 - (speaking Mandarin) 480 00:22:12,731 --> 00:22:15,534 - Hi, little friends, it's me, Dulce, 481 00:22:15,601 --> 00:22:17,269 and today we're going to learn... 482 00:22:19,705 --> 00:22:22,741 Now, most civics classes will teach you about the president 483 00:22:22,808 --> 00:22:25,310 and the Supreme Court, and Congress, 484 00:22:25,377 --> 00:22:29,281 and blah, blah, blah, but you don't need to know any of that. 485 00:22:29,314 --> 00:22:31,583 Hell, the biggest thing Congress does for you 486 00:22:31,650 --> 00:22:32,918 is flood your inbox. 487 00:22:32,985 --> 00:22:35,654 Every 15 minutes, "the future of the world" 488 00:22:35,721 --> 00:22:37,656 depends on me sending ten bucks 489 00:22:37,723 --> 00:22:39,725 to some dumbass in Rhode Island. 490 00:22:39,792 --> 00:22:41,593 I'm going to tell you about the parts of the government 491 00:22:41,660 --> 00:22:43,595 you'll meet in real life. 492 00:22:43,662 --> 00:22:45,531 Let's start with the TSA. 493 00:22:45,597 --> 00:22:47,399 That's the part of the government in charge of 494 00:22:47,466 --> 00:22:50,669 feeling you up and confiscating 495 00:22:50,736 --> 00:22:52,905 your little shampoo bottles filled with Hennessey. 496 00:22:52,971 --> 00:22:54,573 Here's a tip, kids. 497 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:58,911 Always drink your booze before you get on the flight. 498 00:22:58,977 --> 00:23:00,946 Mmm! (exhales) 499 00:23:01,013 --> 00:23:02,848 And do you know how the TSA 500 00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:06,385 gets away with harassing us like this? 501 00:23:06,452 --> 00:23:08,287 It's 'cause the men... 502 00:23:08,353 --> 00:23:10,022 ...are so damn fine. 503 00:23:11,857 --> 00:23:14,493 Next, we've got the IRS. 504 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,162 You know how the mafia collects protection money? 505 00:23:17,262 --> 00:23:19,164 This is sort of like the same thing. 506 00:23:19,264 --> 00:23:23,168 You see, whatever you make, the government wants a taste, 507 00:23:23,268 --> 00:23:26,105 and the IRS are the guys who come to get it. 508 00:23:26,171 --> 00:23:28,874 But don't worry, the government will use that money 509 00:23:28,941 --> 00:23:31,944 for important things like drones and studies to see 510 00:23:32,010 --> 00:23:34,179 if they can grow corn on the sun. 511 00:23:34,279 --> 00:23:37,383 Next, the FBI. 512 00:23:37,449 --> 00:23:38,884 Unless you're mobbed up, 513 00:23:38,951 --> 00:23:40,953 you're probably not gonna hear much from these guys. 514 00:23:41,019 --> 00:23:44,423 They're busy working on a backlog of cases from people 515 00:23:44,490 --> 00:23:47,292 who copied a VHS tape in 1987. 516 00:23:47,292 --> 00:23:50,429 Because if there's one thing the feds hate 517 00:23:50,496 --> 00:23:51,930 more than al-Qaeda, 518 00:23:51,997 --> 00:23:54,400 it's bootlegs of "Dirty Dancing." 519 00:23:54,466 --> 00:23:56,468 There's also the CIA. 520 00:23:56,535 --> 00:23:59,605 They're the ones selling drugs in your community. 521 00:23:59,671 --> 00:24:01,140 (ding) 522 00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:05,244 Let's move on to the judiciary, or as I call it, court shit. 523 00:24:05,244 --> 00:24:07,246 No matter who you are, you're gonna be 524 00:24:07,246 --> 00:24:10,449 in a lifelong battle against the justice system. 525 00:24:10,516 --> 00:24:13,052 For some of you, it'll be avoiding jail. 526 00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:16,622 But for most of you, it'll be avoiding jury duty. 527 00:24:18,257 --> 00:24:20,726 Court is also where you go to get married, 528 00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:23,896 and where you go back to to get divorced, 529 00:24:23,962 --> 00:24:27,099 and where your defend yourself against grand theft auto charges 530 00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:29,268 because he said the Ford Explorer was his 531 00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:31,470 but you were the one making the payments! 532 00:24:35,340 --> 00:24:38,610 And speaking of cars, let's move on to the DMV. 533 00:24:38,677 --> 00:24:40,646 That's where you go to renew your license. 534 00:24:40,713 --> 00:24:42,314 You'll wait in a long-ass line 535 00:24:42,381 --> 00:24:44,983 next to all the weirdest people who live in your county. 536 00:24:45,050 --> 00:24:47,720 In fact, I'm in a DMV line right now. 537 00:24:49,722 --> 00:24:52,658 After this, I'm headed over to the State Department because 538 00:24:52,725 --> 00:24:54,493 that's where you get your passport, 539 00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:56,795 the document that has the smallest, 540 00:24:56,862 --> 00:25:00,032 worst picture you've ever taken. 541 00:25:00,099 --> 00:25:01,366 Oh, don't worry. 542 00:25:01,433 --> 00:25:03,702 You only have to look at it for ten years. 543 00:25:03,769 --> 00:25:06,505 What else? Oh, the Department of Education, 544 00:25:06,572 --> 00:25:08,240 they're in charge of teaching you 545 00:25:08,307 --> 00:25:11,810 the basics, like where to hide during a school shooting. 546 00:25:11,877 --> 00:25:14,346 Other than that, they don't teach you shit, 547 00:25:14,413 --> 00:25:16,448 which is why I'm here teaching you 548 00:25:16,515 --> 00:25:18,350 on my day off. 549 00:25:18,417 --> 00:25:20,352 They could have more funding, 550 00:25:20,419 --> 00:25:23,956 but America needs that money for the Defense Department. 551 00:25:24,022 --> 00:25:28,727 They're the ones out there enforcing the American empire 552 00:25:28,794 --> 00:25:31,730 so you can maintain your way of life. 553 00:25:31,797 --> 00:25:34,800 Oh, y'all didn't think I was gonna get real, did you? 554 00:25:34,867 --> 00:25:36,902 (scoffs) If you're a male 555 00:25:36,969 --> 00:25:39,805 over the age of 18, the military will make you 556 00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:43,409 register for the draft, but not if you're a woman. 557 00:25:43,475 --> 00:25:45,277 And that's fine with me. 558 00:25:45,310 --> 00:25:47,946 I'm the kind of feminist that wants to be a CEO, 559 00:25:48,013 --> 00:25:50,883 not a gunnery sergeant. 560 00:25:50,949 --> 00:25:53,619 And that's basically most of government you interact with. 561 00:25:53,685 --> 00:25:55,287 There's other agencies-- 562 00:25:55,354 --> 00:25:58,557 you got the EPA, FEMA, the Deep State, 563 00:25:58,624 --> 00:26:00,826 but we'll get to them another time. 564 00:26:00,893 --> 00:26:03,829 Right now, I gotta go get my license. 565 00:26:03,896 --> 00:26:05,764 (camera charging) 566 00:26:05,831 --> 00:26:07,666 (shutter clicks) 567 00:26:12,971 --> 00:26:14,440 (newsreel reporter) Journalism is an incredibly 568 00:26:14,506 --> 00:26:17,242 important profession, according to most journalists. 569 00:26:17,309 --> 00:26:19,978 And it'seasier than ever to be a journalist. 570 00:26:20,045 --> 00:26:23,248 You just have to be the son of a journalist 571 00:26:23,282 --> 00:26:25,417 or the son of a journalist, 572 00:26:25,484 --> 00:26:27,720 or the son of a journalist, 573 00:26:27,786 --> 00:26:30,089 or the son of a journalist, 574 00:26:30,155 --> 00:26:32,257 or the son of a politician, 575 00:26:32,291 --> 00:26:34,560 or the daughter of a politician, 576 00:26:34,626 --> 00:26:36,562 or the daughter of a politician, 577 00:26:36,628 --> 00:26:38,630 or the daughter of a politician, 578 00:26:38,697 --> 00:26:40,666 or the daughter of a politician, 579 00:26:40,733 --> 00:26:42,835 or the son of aVanderbilt. 580 00:26:42,901 --> 00:26:43,736 Ask your parents and see! 581 00:26:46,938 --> 00:26:47,738 - Well, that is our special. 582 00:26:48,673 --> 00:26:50,041 Thank you so much for watching. 583 00:26:50,108 --> 00:26:52,210 I hope we all learned something. 584 00:26:52,276 --> 00:26:54,479 I know I learned much too late 585 00:26:54,545 --> 00:26:56,314 that none of this is tax deductible. 586 00:26:56,380 --> 00:26:58,549 Unbelievable. 587 00:26:58,616 --> 00:27:01,119 Anyway, join us next time when we learn about 588 00:27:01,185 --> 00:27:04,422 green energy subsidies from the Cayman Islands. 589 00:27:04,489 --> 00:27:05,790 Class dismissed. 590 00:27:05,857 --> 00:27:07,658 - This episode of "Remotely Educational" 591 00:27:07,725 --> 00:27:10,795 was made possible by the support of viewers like you, 592 00:27:10,862 --> 00:27:13,531 and also by Northstar Ballistics, 593 00:27:13,598 --> 00:27:15,299 Trident Strategic Defense, 594 00:27:15,366 --> 00:27:18,402 Black Ocean Armored, Iron Globe Partners, 595 00:27:18,469 --> 00:27:21,339 Permanent Force Solutions, Obsidian Ring, 596 00:27:21,405 --> 00:27:25,643 and Kiddie Casual, a subsidiary of Scorpius Heavy Industries.