Hey, what's going on, everybody? I'm Trevor Noah,
and this is The Daily Social Distancing Show.
As you can see, I'm wearing a special hoodie today,
because after wearing a tuxedo at the Grammys,
I have to ease myself back into normal hoodies.
You know, you can't just go cold turkey.
And I just want to say thank you to everyone
who tuned in last night, even the haters and the losers.
I hope you enjoyed it because I know I had a great time.
I danced with Cardi B, I emptied Doja Cat's litter box,
and I even joined the BTS army, yeah.
They're sending me to Iraq. I ship out on Friday.
Anyway on tonight's show--
police are causing problems on two continents,
Jaboukie Young-White learns the truth about the COVID vaccine,
and why Andrew Cuomo might have to update his LinkedIn.
Plus, the one and only Eddie Murphy
is joining us on the show.
So let's do this, people.
Welcome to The Daily Social Distancing Show.
ANNOUNCER: From Trevor's couch in New York City
to your couch somewhere in the world, this is
The Daily Social Distancing Show with Trevor Noah.
Let's kick things off with a story out of Oklahoma
involving two of America's favorite pastimes--
basketball and racism.
A high school basketball announcer in Oklahoma
is blaming his diabetes and a spike in his blood sugar
for the racist comments he made
during a livestreamed state basketball tournament.
The Norman players started kneeling
during the national anthem,
and that's when the announcer, Matt Rowan,
hurled horrifying racist insults
at the Norman team that were caught on mike.
Rowan later apologized, saying in part, and I quote...
I'm not racist! I just suffer from diabetes!
I bet the royal family wishes that they thought of that one.
I'm so sorry, Meghan.
Our blood sugar was spiking that day,
and for the past 600 years.
But, hey, I'm no doctor.
I mean, maybe diabetes does make you racist.
In fact, I hope it does.
You know, it would make things so much simpler.
Lincoln could have ended slavery with a box of granola bars.
It does make me wonder, though,
how many close calls this guy has had before.
Like, were there times when he was running
through CVS, like, in the candy aisle like,
"Ni... ckelback is my favorite band.
Oh, that was so close. Mm. So close"?
In more sports news-- cheerleading.
It's the only socially acceptable way
to stand on other people.
If you watched Cheer on Netflix
ten years ago at the beginning of 2020,
you know that cheerleading is a super competitive sport.
But one cheer mom
took her competitive spirit a little too far.
Now to that disturbing case involving deepfakes--
videos that are manipulated to make it look
like someone did or said something they did not.
NEWSWOMAN: It's a troubling new take on cyberbullying.
A mom in Pennsylvania is accused this morning
of using so-called "deepfakes"
to anonymously harass members
of her daughter's cheerleading team.
NEWSWOMAN 2: Police say 50-year-old Raffaela Spone
digitally altered photos and videos
of three members of her daughter's cheerleading squad,
known as the Victory Vipers,
depicting them naked, drinking and smoking from a vape pen,
and then sent the images to the girls and their coaches.
MATT WEINTRAUB: The essence of it was to knock them down,
essentially to try to shame them
or get them knocked off the team,
what appeared to be the motivation.
Wow. That is...
really impressive.
I can't believe
this 50-year-old mom learned how to make deepfakes.
Meanwhile, your mom has to call you up
every time she forgets her Paramount+ log-in.
Really? I have to say Paramount+?
Obviously, using deepfakes to bully teenagers is messed up.
And not only is it criminal, but it can also backfire,
because you can't trust moms
to know what's not cool for teenagers to do.
Honey, I know you hate Trisha, so I posted a deepfake
of her doing shots with Megan Thee Stallion backstage.
Mom, that's the coolest thing she could do.
Not on a school night.
And honestly, were the deepfakes
of the teens using vape pens really necessary?
I mean, you've already got them naked and drunk.
You don't need to be like, "And they're also basic."
But this is a sign that the future that awaits us
with deepfakes is going to be petty as hell.
You know, people are worried that deepfakes will be used
to influence elections.
But 90% of them are just going to be people pretending
to find mice in their tacos just so they can get free food.
So I mean, the only solution to this is to never trust any video
that you ever see ever again.
Including this video.
I mean, I think I'm Trevor Noah.
But there's no way to know for sure.
Let's move on now to an update
about America's criminal justice system.
This weekend, the country marked one year
since police in Louisville, Kentucky, killed Breonna Taylor.
And while there is still much more work to be done,
the police have been willing to make at least one change.
It could soon become a crime
to taunt police officers in Kentucky.
The AP reports Kentucky lawmakers passed the proposal
through the state senate this week.
The bill says anyone who taunts, insults
or challenges a law enforcement officer would be guilty
of a misdemeanor and would face
up to 90 days in jail plus fines.
That's right.
90 days for insulting a police officer.
so whatever you do, don't say to a cop,
"Wow. I thought strippers would be in better shape,"
or "Nice riot gear and face shield.
"You look like if a G.I. Joe had sex
with a Chipotle sneeze guard."
And whatever you do,
do not try and tell Kentucky police any knock-knock jokes.
You know they don't like knocking.
Look, understandably, people are pretty angry about this.
But just put yourself in the position
of a police officer in Kentucky, huh?
You're just doing your job-- breaking into someone's home
and shooting them in bed--
and then that person calls you a jerk?
It's like, "Hey, buddy, I've got feelings, too."
But obviously, there are a lot of problems with this law.
I mean, first of all, any protest against police
could land peaceful protestors in jail.
And secondly, if you're married to a cop,
you basically have to let them win every single argument.
Plus, you know that now cops are going to try to get people
to taunt them just to meet their arrest quotas.
Hey, what are you looking at?
You see anything funny? Huh?
Uh... no?
You're sure? Huh?
Now of course it isn't just the United States
where there are tensions between communities and the police,
as we are seeing in Great Britain,
where women are up in arms.
There is growing outrage and concern about women's safety
in Britain after the killing of a woman.
NEWSWOMAN: 33-year-old London resident Sarah Everard
was kidnapped and murdered while walking home earlier this month.
The suspect in connection with Sarah Everard's kidnap
and her death was actually a serving member
of the Metropolitan Police Force.
NEWSWOMAN 3: There was a vigil on the weekend.
Even Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge,
made a private visit to lay flowers.
But later on Saturday night,
the police tried to break up the crowd.
(shouting)
The vigil was against lockdown rules.
But their heavy-handed tactics and these images
have horrified the nation
and helped fuel more protests last night.
(chanting): Sexist police, off our streets!
NEWSWOMAN 3: "Sexist police off our streets," they shouted.
Okay.
What-what... what are these cops thinking?
Getting violent at a vigil over an officer murdering this woman?
The only way those cops could have been more tone deaf is
if they had mansplained the protest chants
back to the women.
You can't be going around breaking up a vigil.
A vigil is, by definition, the most peaceful of all gatherings.
No one ever says "Yo, man, you got to come through.
This vigil is about to be wild!"
I swear, the police could avoid so many headaches
if they just hired one person whose only job is to ask,
"Is this something the good guys would do?"
That way, when the police chief says,
"Okay, tonight, we're going to go
to a peaceful vigil and tackle women,"
then that person can raise their hand, ask their one question...
Is this something the good guys would do?
And we can avoid this entire situation.
And part of the reason people were protesting
in the first place is that after Sarah Everard disappeared,
police went door to door
telling women to stay home for their own safety.
Which lead many people to wonder,
why don't the police tell the men to stay home
since they're the ones going around murdering people?
But instead, they're telling women,
"Listen, lady, there's men on these streets,
"so you better stay home, yeah?
"Although there could be men in your home, too,
"so you can't stay there, either.
"Tell you what. Just hover in the air
"about ten feet off the ground, and that should keep you safe
until we decide to do our jobs, love."
But let's move on now to our main story.
Andrew Cuomo, Governor of New York,
and the only person who wishes it was still 2020.
A few weeks ago, Cuomo was hit
with sexual harassment accusations
from two former staffers.
But much like coronavirus in New York nursing homes,
the allegations have only been getting worse.
NEWSWOMAN: In recent weeks, seven women have accused
the governor of sexual misconduct or harassment.
The sixth accusation came from the Albany Times Union,
which reported that a female aide to Cuomo
alleges the governor aggressively groped her
late last year while she was alone with him
in his private residence.
And today, New York magazine says it interviewed
more than 30 women who have either worked with
or interacted with Cuomo, and found that bullying
was a defining element.
Jessica Bakeman, a journalist, said Cuomo's...
Another woman, Kaitlin, said she was hired as an aide
for her looks, and that she was verbally and mentally abused
by him and his staff.
Today's New York Times says its investigation
showed Cuomo's office is afflicted
with a culture still rooted in the Mad Men era,
including an expectation that younger female staffers
wear makeup, dresses and heels,
because it was rumored that was what the governor liked.
Whew!
These allegations are some serious shit.
Bullying and groping women.
A Mad Men office culture.
And pushing women to wear dresses and heels?
I mean, it sounds like Cuomo basically thought of himself
like a bouncer outside a nightclub.
Which is convenient for him, because that might be his job
in a couple of months.
And practically every day now,
there are more and more accusations piling up.
It's getting so bad that he's gonna have to bring back
his power point slides just to track the harassment claims.
I mean, just in the past couple of weeks,
we've heard about him harassing staffers, journalists,
wedding guests-- it seems like no women in New York
were safe from this guy.
At some point we're gonna find out the Statue of Liberty
only holds that torch so she can fend him off.
Now, Cuomo insists that an investigation
into these allegations will exonerate him.
And while President Biden is willing to wait
and see where the investigation leads,
he might be the only one left.
NEWSWOMAN: Governor Cuomo is digging in
despite a cascade of demands from politicians--
many fellow Democrats--
saying that he needs to step down
for the good of the state.
Almost all of the state's Democratic congresspeople
are calling on Cuomo to go,
along with its two U.S. senators
Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and Kirsten Gillibrand.
Governor Cuomo has lost the confidence
of his governing partners,
as well as the people of New York.
NEWSWOMAN: Long-time congressman Jerry Nadler says...
Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
and Congressman Jamaal Bowman jointly said...
That's right. No one wants anything to do with Cuomo.
AOC wants him to resign.
Schumer wants him to resign.
His brother renamed his CNN show from Cuomo Prime Time
to just It's Just Chris, Okay??
It's Just Chris.
But yes, many Democrats say that Cuomo
can no longer effectively lead New York.
And photos like this one aren't helping.
I mean, if you're walking around outside wearing a blanket,
you don't look like you're on top of things.
You look like you either got saved from a drowning car,
or you live with 100 cats.
Or maybe his strategy is just to go in disguise.
Maybe that's what he's trying to do.
Andrew Cuomo? No, I'm an old Italian grandmother,
Nonna Maria.
Okay, Granny, well, let's get you back into a nursing home.
Oh, shit. That backfired.
And remember, while all of this is going on,
New York is still in the middle of the coronavirus pandemic.
The state is even dealing with its own New York mutation,
which makes corona easier to catch,
and also makes you weirdly defensive about bagels.
And if you want to convince people
that you're still focused on corona,
it's probably a bad idea to have your vaccine czar
spending his time doing this.
NEWSMAN: Now a report in The Washington Post
makes claims that one of Cuomo's top advisors
and vaccine czar Larry Schwartz, may have crossed ethical lines.
Accused of making calls to county executives
questioning their loyalty.
NEWSWOMAN: One executive was so upset by the call,
the person filed an ethics complaint
with the State Attorney General's Office.
According to the report, one official believed
getting vaccines to his area could suffer
if Schwartz was not pleased with his response.
And the governor's office and Schwartz deny
that the governor did anything wrong.
Schwartz told the Post that when he made those calls,
it was not in his roll as a vaccine czar,
but only as Cuomo's friend.
Oh.
That response is so gangsta.
I'm not calling you as the guy
who has all the vaccines your area needs,
I'm just calling you as Cuomo's friend...
who has all the vaccines your area needs.
I just want to know if you support him...
or if you like getting COVID-- it's just a question.
And look, he can say that he was just calling as a friend,
but he is the vaccine czar.
Like, he should be doing vaccine shit.
Like, where does he even find the time for chitchat?
Because I'm spending all my time in an alley behind Walgreens,
trying to lick the insides of used syringes.
Although, I guess it's not entirely his fault.
Like, it's not completely his fault, you know what I mean?
They did make him the vaccine czar.
If you don't want people to abuse their power,
maybe stop calling them czars, you know?
Hey, you know those tyrannical rulers from the old days?
That's your job now. But, like, be nice, okay?
So, Cuomo's attempts to stay in power
are only giving people more reasons
to call for his resignation.
But Cuomo says it's never going to happen.
And he has a very dumb explanation for why.
NEWSWOMAN: New York governor Andrew Cuomo
reiterating he's innocent amid mounting allegations
and ongoing investigations into his alleged misconduct.
The governor also saying he isn't going anywhere.
That's right.
From the time he became governor ten years ago
to his years as attorney general,
back to when he worked in the Clinton administration,
Andrew Cuomo has never been part of the political club.
And if you disagree, you can drive your ass out of New York
on the bridge they named after his governor dad.
But yes, Andrew Cuomo thinks that holding him to account
for his actions is...
"cancel culture."
Which is obviously making people pretty angry.
Especially nursing home residents.
They're like, "Bitch, you cancelled Gladys."
And I got to be honest, if this is cancel culture,
well, then I have no idea what cancel culture means anymore.
I guess it's, it's about letting Dr. Seuss books be racist,
but also not letting politicians get away with sexual harassment.
Cancel culture feels a lot like watching WandaVision.
Every time I think I get what it's about,
the next scene is, like:
now it's about a purple witch
who's only pretend possessed?
But this is the new playbook, you know?
It's the new playbook for all these kinds of scandals.
You just refuse to step aside,
and you hope that things eventually blow over.
It worked for Donald Trump.
It worked for Ralph Northam.
And Andrew Cuomo hopes it'll work...
for Nonna Maria.
All right, when we come back, Jaboukie Young-White decides
whether to take the COVID-19 vaccine or not.
And the one and only Eddie Murphy
is still joining us on the show.
So stick around.
(lively Baroque-style orchestral music playing)
♪♪
Welcome back to The Daily Social Distancing Show.
Now that the COVID-19 vaccines are here,
everyone is scrambling to get one.
Well, not everyone.
Our own Jaboukie Young-White has some concerns.
YOUNG-WHITE: For a year, I've been talking
to my good friend and vaccinologist
Dr. Hotez about one thing.
So, where's this vaccine?
The vaccines won't be out till the middle of 2021.
YOUNG-WHITE: But now that the vaccine's finally here,
I'm not sure I want it.
There's too many unanswered questions and concerns.
We've done this in less than a year.
Does that mean that safety is being compromised?
NEWSWOMAN: If anything goes wrong with the vaccine,
the drugmakers that produce them aren't responsible.
YOUNG-WHITE: Yet Hotez is making it his mission
to get everyone vaccinated.
We can and have to, uh, vaccinate,
uh, half a billion people by the summer.
We've got to vaccinate the American people
ahead of these variants.
We need more vaccines.
YOUNG-WHITE: Well, enough is enough.
Dr. Hotez. I've been seeing you everywhere
promoting this vaccine.
You got to stop.
Well, wait a minute, wait a minute.
When we spoke last year,
you were begging for that vaccine.
(scoffs) I barely wanted the vaccine.
You're exaggerating.
Give me a little taste of that sweet, little vaccine.
I will take three boxes
of the Astra Zendaya OxyContin, please.
W-Well, you didn't pronounce it quite right.
Okay, okay! Dr. Hotez, whatever! Just give me your secret stash
of Ascot Zendaya Ostrich Farm, please!
Okay, sure. But that was before I heard this.
There's a lot of misinformation about vaccines.
I have accurate sources.
Horoscopes, memes,
this guy who yells things outside my window.
MAN: The world is ending
in 2012!
I've been giving you the most accurate information
that the scientific community have to offer.
YOUNG-WHITE: The best they have to offer
isn't gonna prevent this.
I don't want Bill Gates putting a microchip in me.
I want Apple putting a microchip in me.
That way, I'll look all sleek
and cost, like, four grand more for no reason.
Let me tell you something. Those anti-vaccine sites,
they're saying not only Bill Gates,
but they're saying me and, uh, Tony Fauci
were out there in Area 51
putting those chips in the vaccines.
Oh, my God.
What's Area 51 like?
-Are the aliens cute? -I've never been to Area 51.
You can't believe everything that you hear.
I heard the vaccine
will turn you gay.
Now, how would something like that happen?
And, if that is true,
how can I get the vaccine
personally distributed to some celebs?
I have a list, and I want to know
if they've already gotten it.
Um, Michael B. Jordan.
Timothée Chalamet.
Pete Davidson. Logan Lerman.
Daniel Kaluuya. Steven Yeun.
There's no even plausible mechanism
by which that's gonna happen.
YOUNG-WHITE: Huh. How about the fact
that they're rushing the vaccine
like a couple on 90 Day Fiancé?
Rushing? We've been working on coronavirus vaccines
for over ten years.
So, a decade of research,
and you still haven't found a way to turn people gay.
What is science for, even?
Now, look, uh, vaccines don't modify your DNA,
nobody's sticking chips inside,
and they certainly are not gonna change
your sexual orientation.
How do you know all this information?
Well, I spent my whole life developing vaccines,
and I've also gotten the coronavirus vaccine.
Wait, wait, you were vaccinated?
-Are there any fun side effects? -Any fun side effects?
I know I'm not going to go to the hospital or the ICU
or-or going to lose my life from COVID-19.
YOUNG-WHITE: Oh, yeah.
I was so worried about the side effects,
I forgot about the main effect:
not dying.
See, that's what I'm saying.
Everyone needs to get this vaccine.
One of the problems is that people don't have access
to places where we're delivering the vaccine,
especially in low-income neighborhoods.
We have to create more sites
where people can get vaccinated.
YOUNG-WHITE: But even if they have access,
some people just don't want it.
Vaccine hesitancy rates are pretty high,
uh, in, uh, African American neighborhoods
and among people of color.
So, now going on just about every, uh,
African American talk radio station I can
to talk to them about the importance
of getting vaccinated.
Okay. Dr. Hotez, no offense,
maybe you're just not the best messenger.
Maybe I can help because I'm me
and you're...
-...that. -Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
YOUNG-WHITE: Even though Dr. Hotez has the best intentions,
he can't help the fact that the Black community
doesn't trust white nerds.
That's why I'm here to help.
Hello. I am Dr. Jaboukie
here today with a very important message
on why we need to get vaccinated.
These antiviral properties
bind to the spike proteins in the body,
wh-which... (sighs)
Man, you know what, (bleep)? It works like Botox.
Okay? I'm 43.
Look, soft.
Look, smooth.
Wait a minute, wait a minute, you can't say that.
You got the first part perfectly.
You can't go saying it's gonna work like Botox.
Okay, what's the worst thing that could happen?
I save somebody's life.
Yeah, you want to save someone's life,
but you can't say it's gonna work like Botox.
Fine, okay.
Studies have shown that it makes your dick bigger.
You can't make those outrageous claims.
(chuckles) Of course, right.
Our dicks are already big.
It would just be weird at that point.
Throw away your shea butter,
because it will cure ashiness.
None of those things are true.
You know what? This isn't working for me.
Get the (bleep) vaccine.
You know what? I'm-I'm with you, Dr. Jaboukie.
Everybody get the (bleep) vaccine.
Finally!
This is Dr. Jaboukie signing off.
And remember, once vaccinated,
you'll never be pulled over by the cops again.
HOTEZ: No! No, no, no.
It doesn't do anything with that.
Thank you so much, Jaboukie. All right, when we come back,
the one and only Eddie Murphy is joining me on the show,
so don't go away.
Welcome back to The Daily Social Distancing Show.
Earlier today, I spoke
with legendary comedian and actor Eddie Murphy.
We talked about making the sequel to Coming to America
and when we might see him back onstage.
(buzzes)
So, what you doing back here, Idiot Amin?
I have just discovered
that I may have a son here in this land.
How much child support she getting from you?
The king pays no child support.
No child support for 30 years, and you came back?
You's a dummy!
(laughing)
Eddie Murphy,
welcome to The Daily Social Distancing Show.
Oh, thanks for having me.
I feel like you-you, you know, you seem like the kind of person
who's almost the least affected by the pandemic,
because I feel like you always stayed at home
before the pandemic.
I've been sheltering in place and washing my hands constantly,
using Purell for over 30 years.
-(laughs) -Yeah. That's something I've known
about Eddie Murphy my whole life.
They go and like, "Eddie Murphy washes his hands."
Like, that was a thing I knew about...
I knew Eddie Murphy: comedian, jokes, actor.
But then the third fact I knew about you
was Eddie Murphy washes his hands.
"Very clean. He's a terribly clean man."
(chuckles) I'm very clean.
When was the last time you were sick?
-Sick, sick? -Yeah.
Uh...
Maybe about two years ago,
I caught the flu at the Golden Globes.
That's why Eddie Murphy doesn't go out.
And the time before that, I caught the flu at the Oscars,
like, two or three years before that.
It's those big crowds of people getting trophies.
-(laugh) -The virus is in the room.
(both laugh)
People have grown up with you. People have-have emulated you.
There's no stand-up comedian who hasn't been touched by you.
There's no film or there's no comedic actor
who doesn't have a little bit of Eddie Murphy
in how they perform.
We see it in Coming 2 America now.
You know, it's like... it's like a celebration
of a movie that was genre-defying back then.
I mean, I remember watching that movie, going like,
"I've never seen Africans portrayed like this
in an American film."
You know, seeing, like, regal Africans,
seeing rich Africans.
I mean, Zamunda was-was Wakanda before Wakanda in that way.
It was just like, "What-what is this place,
you know, where the royal penis is being cleaned?"
You know what I mean?
(both laugh)
When you, uh, when you... When you decided
to make Coming 2 America, the sequel,
I-I'm sure it wasn't an easy choice.
Why did you say yes?
It was an easy... It was a totally easy choice.
It kind of happened organically.
It wasn't like, uh, somebody pitched it,
and I was like, "Oh."
What happened was the movie became
a cult movie over the years.
-Right. -And-and I've re... I-I've realized,
you know, there's an audience for this movie
if I can figure out a way to connect those dots.
There's an audience for a sequel to the movie.
But that was, you know, 25 years into it.
People started, you know, dressing up as--
On Halloween, people get dressed up as some of the characters.
And they have a-a restaurant in L.A.--
uh, I think it's called Fat Sal's--
they turn their restaurant into a McDowell's restaurant.
Right, right.
And on VH1 shows Coming to America
24 hours straight on Christmas.
-So it's stuff like that, you know? -Right.
So that's what made me go,
"There's an audience for the movie."
I loved how, the movie,
it was-- it was new enough to be, like,
you know, new for a new generation,
but I love that you guys brought back
so many of the same characters.
I mean, like, my-my favorite characters easily
are the barbershop fellows.
Like, I mean-- You know what I mean.
Everyone from Saul to the dudes in the chairs.
Did you ever go out into the streets as those characters
just to test the characters in real life?
Oh, yeah. When we first put them on, we'd go out
and play around in those makeups.
Like, you would go out as the old dude from the barbershop?
Absolutely. A couple times we went out in that--
those makeups, just to talk to people
and s-- you know, see if the makeup is working.
'Cause I don't know if this story's true or not,
but Arsenio told me that you wanted to see
how convincing you could be as an old man
and you-you decided to go and, like, flirt with older ladies
just to see if you were in, like, the right bracket.
No, not-not for-- not to see how convincing I was.
To see how convincing the makeup would be.
-Right. -So I flirted with some older-older woman
when I was an-an older man.
-And? -(chuckles)
And-and I got the pussy.
-No, I'm just kidding. (laughing) -(laughing)
-Oh, man. -Actually, some of the easiest pussy I ever had.
Be surprised how easy old women are.
(laughing)
Oh, man. You-you...
"Oh, your back is so strong."
(laughing)
Did you ever feel like living like that?
Or, like, not-not living like that but going out like that?
Because Eddie Murphy is-is an insane superstar.
I mean, I remember there was a time
when you went around with bodyguards,
but it was, like, for a short moment in time.
And then you were like, "I don't-- I don't do this."
But I wonder if Eddie Murphy-- Like, have you ever just thought
to yourself, "I'm just gonna go out as a different character
and see what life is like"?
I used to go out with bodyguards back in the early days
when I toured
-or when I was at the club every night. -Right.
...around people drunk every night
and you're one of the faces,
you should have some people around you, so...
But after-after that period, I never, you know...
You know, I got rid of them, and...
I kind of don't really go out that much.
You know? So...
I kind of have my little...
world that I'm in and...
not really doing a lot of going out. (chuckles)
And if I do, it's to some controlled place.
Right, right, right. It feels like you were...
...first part of your c-- first part of your question was what?
No, I wanted to know if you just went out like that ever.
You know? If you-- if-- Just to be, like, free, as Eddie Murphy.
Just to-- just to be like, "Yeah, I can just do
-whatever I want." -Yeah, I could-- I just go out as-as me,
you know, to controlled places,
you know, for the most part.
And I never put on the makeup.
'Cause you're not really free if you go out in those makeups.
It's like, "I'm free! I'm this other guy." (chuckles)
You know what? I did a movie called Norbit years ago,
and, uh, uh, uh... where I had no mustache.
The only movie I've ever done in my whole career
where I had no mustache.
And, uh, I'm-- with no mustache, I'm unrecognizable.
-Huh. -Like, me just walk-- If I cut my mustache off,
I could walk into-- I literally have gone to Mr. Chow's
with no mustache and walked past, you know,
photographers and I'll just walk right p--
going up to people that I knew, famous people,
and talking to 'em for a second, and they'll be like,
"Who is this?" And they'll realize. (chuckles)
-Wow. -I'm a totally different person.
-It's just that. -And I don't like it. I don't like it.
I didn't like it. I didn't like the whole "being just a guy."
-You know, I was just... -(laughing)
"I think I'm ugly. I think I'm ugly."
The way they were acting, the way they were acting,
I think, without my mustache, I might be
not just regular guy but an ugly regular guy.
Listen, girls wasn't giving me no kind of energy or nothing.
I walked in. No-- It was very sh-- I hated it.
I grew my mustache back as quickly as possible.
(laughing)
When-when we look at your career now,
um, you've done everything.
And you've always talked about how your family's your legacy.
But, selfishly, your fans want more stand-up from Eddie Murphy.
Are you coming back to the stage?
Yeah, that-- The plan was,
I took off from making movies in 2011.
-Right. -And then six, seven years go by and I'm like,
"Okay, all right, I'm--
"I've-I've recharged my batteries,
and I want to go do some stuff."
And I was like, "You know what would be really cool?
To do some stand-up."
But I don't want to just jump back out there,
having not had a new movie out in years,
so I was like, "Let me go do so stuff
to-to kind of remind them that I'm funny."
So, like, I did, uh, Dolomite,
and then we went back to Saturday Night Live.
And then the plan was to do Coming 2 America. We did that.
Then the plan was to go and do stand-up.
But then the pandemic hit. So this last year
when we were all sheltering, that was the year
I would have been out trying to get my shit back together.
Right, right, right, right, right.
So as soon as we get back to, you know,
people can sit in a room again and you can go,
then I'm gonna go start workshopping
and getting the act together and--
The plan is to do it again.
Eh. Well, we're looking forward to it.
It's, uh... it's been an amazing journey,
having you in our lives. Thank you for releasing a movie.
Thank you for getting back onstage.
And thank you for being you.
-Keep washing your hands. -Oh, and thank you for being
-in the movie. To-To... -Oh, no, are you k--
-are you kidding me? -Totatsi Bibinyana?
-T-Totatsi Bibinyana. -(laughs)
-MURPHY: That's a great name. -(laughs)
I was like, "I know it's authentic,
-'cause he's from South Africa, so I know that's..." -(laughs)
I made up all those other names. Those are not real names.
Most of them are, like, uh...
My mother's name in it was, uh, Aoleon.
That's not-- that's not a real name. I totally made that name--
"Jaffe Joffer" is a totally made-up name.
(laughing)
"Totatsi Bibinyana" sounds very authentic.
It-it really does. Well, "Bibinyana,"
a lot of people don't-- "Bibinyana" is actually like--
it's a play on-- it-it-- technic--
if you say it properly, it means "small penis."
So there was a little joke, a inside joke
-for-for South Africans. -Exactly.
Yeah. Like, my brother came up to me and he was like,
"Hey, man, who-who called you that,
"because I don't know if these Americans know
what they called you." And I was like, "Oh, no,
that-that was on our side." He's like, "Oh.
"'Cause that sounds like...
-That sounds like a..." -And is "Totatsi" something, too?
No, no, no. That was just, like, a South African--
just, like, play on the name and then--
It was a last name that sounds like it.
-It sounds like it. -"Little Dick Totatsi."
That's what your name, Bibinyana, means.
-Totatsi... -Well, it sounds-- it sounds like it.
Sounds like "small dick." But it isn't.
-It sounds like it. You know? -Okay.
Just to give it some of that-- just to give it some of that.
But thank you for having me, man. Thank you so much.
-Thanks for doing it. -I'm excited to see you on the--
on the stage again, Eddie. And, um...
Yeah, man, keep washing your hands, keep doing you.
-And I appreciate you. -Yeah, man.
I appreciate you, too. And thank you for having me.
And congratulations for all the success you've been having, man.
-You've really... Funny brother. -Thank you, sir.
Don't forget, Coming 2 America is available now
on Amazon Prime Video.
All right, we're gonna take a quick break,
but we'll be right back after this.
Well, that's our show for tonight. But before we go,
remember, it's Women's History Month.
So please consider supporting Black Girls Code.
It's an organization dedicated to leveling the playing field
for girls of color in STEM.
By supporting Black Girls Code,
you're helping empower young girls who use technology
to change their lives and all of our lives for the better.
So if you can help out, go to the link below
and do whatever you can.
Until tomorrow, stay safe out there,
wear a mask, and, remember,
if you say the N-word,
I'm sorry to inform you,
you've got diabetes.
Now here it is, Your Moment of Zen.
? ?
NEWSWOMAN: Scientists plan to send a sperm bank to the moon
as a "modern global insurance policy."
-NEWSWOMAN 2: They're sending 6.7 million species? -Uh-huh.
Yes.
Wow. They've been collecting for a while.
And I want to-- I want to know, like,
where-- what is the collection gonna look like?
What are they gonna put it in
to keep everything separated?
NEWSMAN: My question is, like,
whose stuff are they gonna get?
How'd you like to be one of those guys?
It's always gonna be there. Anyway...
-Let's not go there. Let's just move on. -(laughs)
-We're gonna go to the... -? ?