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Hey, what's going on, everybody?
I'm Trevor Noah,
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and this is The Daily
Social Distancing Show.
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Today is Thursday, March 18,
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and I am so excited,
because that means this weekend
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is the first day of spring,
and...
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it's the Persian New Year!
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Nowruz!
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Which is the best New Year ever,
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because part of the celebration
is that you have to jump
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over a fire, which is so epic.
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This is gonna be
my second year celebrating.
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Last year we did it
for the first time,
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but there was
a slight misunderstanding--
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we thought we jump into
the fire, not over the fire,
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and, like, long story short,
rest in peace, Barry.
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Nowruz, baby! We're back!
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Anyway, coming up
on tonight's show,
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we fill out
our pandemic bracket,
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Biden and Putin are
gonna throw down after school,
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and did you know coronavirus is
also affecting other countries?
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Plus, Arsenio Hall is our guest.
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So, let's do this, people.
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Welcome to The Daily
Social Distancing Show.
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? ?
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ANNOUNCER: From Trevor's couch
in New York City
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to your couch
somewhere in the world,
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this is The Daily
Social Distancing Show
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with Trevor Noah.
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? ?
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Let's kick things off
with big news
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from the world of comic books.
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I mean, comic books are
the reason I'm so excited
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about this spider bite.
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Ooh! Burns so strong.
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One of the biggest superheroes
in the world right now
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is Captain America.
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And now,
after 80 years in the business,
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he's got a whole new vibe.
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Marvel will introduce
a gay Captain America.
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Marvel released images
of Aaron Fisher yesterday,
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touting him as the first
openly queer character
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in Captain America's
80-year history.
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This is maybe my favorite
most upsetting story of the day.
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I have mixed emotions
about this,
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because it's just,
the country's going bananas.
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He is a gay Captain America,
complete with a nose ring,
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tats-- when he takes off
his skull cap there,
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he's got, like, a mohawk thing.
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He's not very muscular.
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What would really be pushing
the boundaries
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is if maybe they had
a conservative superhero
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or a Trump-supporting superhero.
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Okay, okay, first of all,
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there already have been plenty
of conservative superheroes.
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Right? They don't say it,
but you can tell.
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Like, there's no way
that billionaire Bruce Wayne
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supports taxing the rich.
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And Hawkeye, I mean,
the guy lives on a farm in Iowa
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and has a Proud Boys haircut.
Come on.
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Wanda Maximoff?
She wanted nothing more
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than to build a wall and take
the country back to the 1950s.
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You don't need to say it.
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There's probably a reason
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that there hasn't been
a Trump-supporting superhero.
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I mean, how helpful
would that guy be in a crisis?
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Dr. Doom is threatening to kill
half a million Americans.
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What do we do?
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(like Trump):
So what?
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That's basically
the same as the flu.
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I say we ignore him,
and it'll all go away magically.
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Personally, I think it's great
to see more LGBTQ representation
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in comics.
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Although, to be honest,
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I kind of thought
Captain America already was gay.
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I mean,
he's always telling women,
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"Oh, no, I can't date you.
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I have a girlfriend
who lives in the 1940s.
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Still, though, I'm sure
just judging by the reactions,
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there's gonna be
a certain type of guy
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who's gonna feel really awkward
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being saved
by an openly gay superhero.
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Grab my hand before you fall
off of this cliff!
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Oh! Okay. But no homo.
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And speaking of people
who are uncomfortable
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with gay superheroes,
I love that news anchor
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complaining that the new Captain
America isn't muscular enough.
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A little strange.
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I mean, I don't want to see
gay dudes in my comics,
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but if they're gonna be there,
I should at least be turned on
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just a little,
you know what I mean?
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But let's move on
from superheroes
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to the world's biggest
real-life supervillain,
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Vladimir Putin.
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A newly declassified
intelligence report
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has confirmed
that Putin personally directed
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Russian meddling in
the 2020 presidential election.
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And President
Joseph Robitussin Biden
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isn't happy about it.
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In our World lead,
a threat from President Biden
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to Russian leader Vladimir Putin
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on interfering
in the 2020 election.
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He will pay a price. I...
We had a long talk, he and I.
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So you know Vladimir Putin.
Do you think he's a killer?
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Mm-hmm. I do.
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So what price must he pay?
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The price he's gonna pay,
well, you'll see shortly.
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NEWSMAN: President Putin himself
has been asked
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about his response to
Joe Biden's kind of affirmation
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that he thinks that
President Putin's a killer.
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TRANSLATOR: I wish him
good health, and I'm not joking.
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I mean it. But when we
judge people or other nations,
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we look into a mirror--
we see ourselves there.
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When I was a child and we
had arguments in the courtyard,
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we were saying,
"It takes one to know one."
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And it's not just
a children's saying.
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The meaning is very deep.
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Putin is right.
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Children's sayings still have
a lot of important wisdom
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for us as adults.
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That's why I still get
my yearly boosters
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for my cooties shot.
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Whew! I mean, if a girl
ever touches me, I'm all set.
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But it is funny that Putin has
to clarify that he's not joking
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when he wishes Biden
good health.
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Because, let's face it, the man
has killed so many people.
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Everyone always just assumes
that that's what he means.
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I wouldn't be shocked
if this causes
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a ton of problems for him.
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(Russian accent):
President Putin,
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your cousin is here--
what would you like me to do?
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Oh. Please,
take care of him, Boris.
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Understood, sir.
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No, no, no. Boris, Boris,
I mean show him a good time.
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Ah. I know what you mean.
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No, no. I mean, like, you know,
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take him to concert
or something.
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Ah, yes.
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Performance in the sky.
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Right away, sir.
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No, no, I'm saying,
like, mayb...
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Oh, you know what?
Just kill him.
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This is taking too much
of my time.
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But clearly, people,
this exchange is the beginning
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of a much more
confrontational relationship
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between America and Russia.
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And that's gonna be tricky,
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because on the one hand,
Joe Biden is probably right
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to call out
Vladimir Putin's aggression.
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But on the other hand, I'm
pretty sure that Vladimir Putin
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has all of my passwords.
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So I think he's doing
a great job.
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Now, while Biden
is fending off Putin,
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he's also dealing
with a crisis closer to home,
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at the Mexican border.
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Because even though Biden ended
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some of Trump's
cruel immigration policies,
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and is trying to return children
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who Trump separated
from their families,
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that has not been enough
to end the suffering.
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President Biden urging migrants
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not to make the journey
to the U.S.,
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as the White House works
to get a handle on the surge
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at the southern border.
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Nearly 4,300
unaccompanied children
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were in Border Patrol custody
as of Sunday afternoon,
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according to data obtained
by NBC News.
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The new figures are
a record high.
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Nearly 3,000 of those children
have been in custody
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over the 72-hour legal limit.
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In an interview with ABC News,
the president pushing back
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on criticism migrants are
crossing in such large numbers
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because he has reversed
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several Trump-era
immigration policies.
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The idea that
Joe Biden said come,
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because I heard the other day
that they're coming
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because they know
I'm a nice guy.
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Well, here's the deal:
they're not.
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INTERVIEWER: Do you
have to say quite clearly,
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-"Don't come"? -Yes. I can say
quite clearly, "Don't come."
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Don't leave your town or city
or community.
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Hmm. Okay, that's worth a shot,
I guess.
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But the phrase "Don't come"
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isn't going
to prevent immigration
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any more than it prevented
pregnancy on Bridgerton.
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Because Biden is still being
way more welcoming
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than people are used to.
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I mean, "Don't come" is
basically an engraved invitation
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compared to,
"You shithole country,
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rapists,
need to pay for our wall."
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But that's right, border
crossings are surging right now.
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And the part that's causing
the most concern
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is what to do
with the unaccompanied children.
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Because under Trump,
they would just be sent back
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to terrible migrant camps
in Mexico.
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Biden, on the other hand,
wants to send them
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00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:44,064
through the asylum process
in the U.S.
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But the problem is,
the system is too overwhelmed
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to do it quickly,
so the kids are languishing
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in detainment camps here.
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And please, let's not forget to
have empathy for these migrants.
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Because who can blame parents
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for wanting to give
their children a better life?
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I mean, there are just
so many more opportunities
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00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:01,582
for them in America.
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00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,951
I mean, think about it,
Blue Ivy just won a Grammy.
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00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,986
Who wouldn't want that
for their child?
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00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,355
And let's move on now
to our main story,
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the coronavirus vaccine,
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00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:14,561
aka the thing you're pretty sure
your friend lied to get.
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Although the vaccine rollout
has been going fairly well
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00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:19,032
in the United States,
that has not been true
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00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,834
everywhere else in the world.
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00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:22,870
But why?
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Well, let's find out,
in another episode
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00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:28,242
of Keeping Up with Corona,
International Edition.
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? ?
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Let's begin
with the situation in Europe,
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00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:38,519
the Baskin-Robbins
of white people.
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The Continent never really got
the pandemic under control,
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00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:45,259
and now it's struggling
with vaccinations.
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00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:47,928
While 22% of Americans
have gotten at least one shot,
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in most countries in Europe,
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00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,999
that number is
only eight percent.
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Honestly, it's been surprising
to see Europe struggle so much.
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00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:59,773
I mean, this is Europe, the most
sophisticated place on Earth.
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They have Denmark!
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00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:02,976
They should be crushing this.
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00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:04,645
But they're not.
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00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:07,881
And now a controversy
over one of their vaccines
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is only making things worse.
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NEWSWOMAN: Over in Europe,
they are not facing good news.
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00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:14,788
The continent
is facing a third wave
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00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:17,658
of the COVID pandemic
as at least five countries
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00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:20,827
have suspended using
the AstraZeneca vaccine.
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00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:22,196
More than a dozen countries
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00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,830
have halted the use
of the vaccine,
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00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:25,933
including Germany,
France and Italy,
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00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:27,968
as a precautionary measure,
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00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:30,437
but regulators here
insist there is no link
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00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:32,239
between
the Oxford-AstraZeneca vaccine
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00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:34,408
and a higher incidence
of blood clots.
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00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:38,178
AstraZeneca says a review
of 17 million people
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00:09:38,212 --> 00:09:42,149
here in the U.K. and in Europe
who received the vaccine
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00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,184
found less than 40
developed blood clots.
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In their words, even lower
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00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:48,488
than you'd expect to find
in the general population.
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NEWSMAN: Just 37 cases
in 17 million vaccinations,
248
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:56,196
leaving many wondering,
"Why stop the entire program?"
249
00:09:56,230 --> 00:09:58,131
Okay, look,
I understand being safe.
250
00:09:58,165 --> 00:10:00,968
I totally understand being safe.
But, at the same time,
251
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:03,403
these blood clots are affecting
252
00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:08,742
0.0002% of people.
253
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:11,512
So, you might as well be worried
254
00:10:11,545 --> 00:10:14,114
that lightning is gonna strike
the metal of the needle
255
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,016
as you're getting the vaccine.
256
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:18,418
And it's crazy that France,
of all the countries,
257
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:21,755
is stopping the vaccine
because of health side effects.
258
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,324
I mean, their national fruit
is the cigarette.
259
00:10:24,358 --> 00:10:27,394
So, a lot of people do think
that Europe is overreacting.
260
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:28,662
And I'll be honest.
261
00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:30,264
I think I know
what the problem is.
262
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,332
It's because European scientists
263
00:10:32,366 --> 00:10:34,168
are explaining the side effects
264
00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:36,470
in a normal tone of voice.
265
00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:37,905
You see,
if you want side effects
266
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,040
to sound less scary,
you got to list them super fast
267
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,975
while a fungus dances
on our toes.
268
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:43,143
It's also important to remember
269
00:10:43,177 --> 00:10:44,611
that not all side effects
are the same.
270
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:47,181
Right? There are side effects
that are more dangerous
271
00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:48,515
than the disease
that they're fighting.
272
00:10:48,549 --> 00:10:49,816
Those are the worst.
273
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,652
And then there are side effects
that are serious
274
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,220
but are worth the risk.
275
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:54,588
And then, I mean,
276
00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:56,256
then there are side effects
that are just funny.
277
00:10:56,290 --> 00:10:59,226
You know, like-like diarrhea
and boners that won't go away.
278
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:01,562
So, doctors
have to keep that in mind.
279
00:11:01,595 --> 00:11:03,530
But let's move on to Africa,
280
00:11:03,564 --> 00:11:05,966
the world's biggest country.
281
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,768
Because while Europe's vaccines
282
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:10,137
are sitting unused
in the back of the fridge,
283
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:13,307
many poorer countries
have been waiting a long time
284
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:16,276
to get any vaccines at all.
285
00:11:16,310 --> 00:11:17,711
We are experiencing, Ayman,
286
00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:20,981
a massively uneven
vaccine rollout
287
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,316
across the world.
288
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:25,853
Only one of the top 40 countries
in the world,
289
00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:28,822
uh, for vaccine rollout
is in Africa.
290
00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:30,791
NEWSMAN:
Touching down in Nairobi,
291
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:33,293
COVID-19 vaccinations
arrive in Kenya
292
00:11:33,327 --> 00:11:34,928
for the very first time.
293
00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:36,496
Kenya received
its initial shipment
294
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:38,632
of just over one million doses
295
00:11:38,665 --> 00:11:40,067
as part of the COVAX program,
296
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:42,669
an initiative backed
by the World Health Organization
297
00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:45,205
aimed at reducing
vaccine inequality.
298
00:11:45,239 --> 00:11:46,607
In addition to Ghana and Kenya,
299
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,775
Rwanda, Senegal
and the Ivory Coast
300
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:50,511
are among countries
to recently receive
301
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:53,247
low-cost or free vaccines
through COVAX.
302
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:55,516
But it comes after a long wait,
303
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:58,852
far behind wealthier nations
that can pay full price.
304
00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:02,389
It took us 83 days
from the first jab in the U.K.
305
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:04,024
to the first jab in Africa.
306
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,860
Goddamn, 83 days?
307
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:09,763
That's like two viewings
of the Snyder Cut.
308
00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:12,332
Look, the world
needs to do a better job
309
00:12:12,366 --> 00:12:14,134
of getting vaccines
to developing nations,
310
00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:15,702
because don't forget,
311
00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:18,972
if you let coronavirus fester
in one place for long enough,
312
00:12:19,006 --> 00:12:20,574
it's gonna mutate,
313
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:24,545
and it's gonna come back
even stronger where you live.
314
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:25,913
It happens all the time.
315
00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:27,915
When Ebola first got to Africa,
316
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:29,850
it was just a stubbed toe.
317
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,818
And what's especially
frustrating about this
318
00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:35,189
is that there are so many people
in places like America
319
00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:38,759
who can get the vaccine,
and they just don't want it.
320
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:42,029
I feel like what they should do
is make an exchange program
321
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:45,999
where Africans get to swap
countries with anti-vaxxers.
322
00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:47,434
Vax Swap,
323
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:50,370
only on Paramount+.
324
00:12:50,404 --> 00:12:52,539
Now, while it's true
that right now,
325
00:12:52,573 --> 00:12:54,141
there aren't
enough vaccine doses
326
00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:55,409
to go around to every country,
327
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,444
there actually is
a solution to that.
328
00:12:57,477 --> 00:13:00,614
Give pharmaceutical companies
in developing nations
329
00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:04,518
the vaccine recipes
and let them make their own.
330
00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:07,821
But so far, countries
that have those recipes
331
00:13:07,855 --> 00:13:11,024
are going full-on Oprah meme.
332
00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:12,492
The United States
333
00:13:12,526 --> 00:13:15,629
and other wealthy members
of the World Trade Organization
334
00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:18,799
have blocked a proposal to waive
335
00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:21,735
intellectual property rights
related to COVID vaccines.
336
00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:24,705
South Africa and India
had pushed the proposal
337
00:13:24,738 --> 00:13:26,607
as part of an attempt
to increase
338
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,309
the availability of vaccines
in poorer countries.
339
00:13:29,343 --> 00:13:31,545
NEWSMAN: Both the United States
and the European Union
340
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:34,414
want to uphold patents
on the basis
341
00:13:34,448 --> 00:13:36,316
that they encourage companies
to invest
342
00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:38,352
in research and innovation.
343
00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:40,220
NEWSMAN 2:
This drugmaker just a few hours
344
00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:41,655
from the Bangladesh capital
345
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:44,858
produces a lot
of different vaccines.
346
00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:47,160
But the one it can't yet produce
347
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,963
is the most in demand
for COVID-19.
348
00:13:49,997 --> 00:13:52,933
The manufacturer says
it has plenty of spare capacity,
349
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:56,570
and it could produce between
600 million to 800 million
350
00:13:56,603 --> 00:14:00,374
coronavirus vaccines a year
if it got a license.
351
00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:01,842
Wait, hold up.
352
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:03,911
The entire planet
353
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:07,781
could get millions more
vaccine doses a year
354
00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:10,517
if they just waive the patent
on the vaccines,
355
00:14:10,551 --> 00:14:13,220
but the U.S. and the
European Union don't want to?
356
00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:15,556
So, you're gonna tell me
that Africa is expected
357
00:14:15,589 --> 00:14:17,357
to share our Vibranium,
358
00:14:17,391 --> 00:14:20,227
but we can't get their vaccines?
359
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:21,995
Oh, that's real fair.
360
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:23,463
Now, look, I do understand
361
00:14:23,497 --> 00:14:25,299
where drug companies
are coming from on this.
362
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:27,868
I mean, if Nani Indira
wants a vaccine,
363
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:31,171
then Nani Indira can design
and distribute her own vaccine.
364
00:14:31,205 --> 00:14:33,540
It's called
personal responsibility.
365
00:14:33,574 --> 00:14:35,943
And people are saying,
"This is a global pandemic.
366
00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:39,413
Doesn't Nani's life matter more
than the share price of Pfizer?"
367
00:14:39,446 --> 00:14:41,481
All right, fine.
Let's compromise, then.
368
00:14:41,515 --> 00:14:45,018
Pfizer should just give Nani
some stock options.
369
00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:47,955
That way,
everyone who's left alive
370
00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:49,456
makes money.
371
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:52,960
But it turns out
not every country in Africa
372
00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:54,461
is desperate to get the vaccine.
373
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:57,130
In fact, the country of Tanzania
374
00:14:57,164 --> 00:14:59,433
hasn't even been trying
to get it,
375
00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:02,402
mostly because
President John Magufuli
376
00:15:02,436 --> 00:15:06,039
claimed that COVID-19
isn't even real.
377
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:09,843
Although, he might be
changing his mind now.
378
00:15:09,877 --> 00:15:11,445
The president of Tanzania,
379
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:13,914
John Magufuli, has died.
380
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:15,916
He was
a prominent COVID-19 skeptic
381
00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:19,152
and had not been seen in public
since the end of February.
382
00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:20,821
(speaking foreign language)
383
00:15:20,854 --> 00:15:22,089
(translated):
In all this government,
384
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:24,057
no one wears a mask,
including me.
385
00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,659
It proves
that there is no coronavirus
386
00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:27,594
and God loves this nation.
387
00:15:27,628 --> 00:15:31,431
NEWSMAN: President Magufuli was
more than a coronavirus skeptic.
388
00:15:31,465 --> 00:15:32,866
His government
stopped sharing data
389
00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:35,002
with the World Health
Organization last year
390
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:38,605
and declared Tanzania COVID-free
through divine intervention.
391
00:15:38,639 --> 00:15:40,574
He displayed a disregard
for health advice,
392
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,709
focusing on prayer
and local remedies
393
00:15:42,743 --> 00:15:45,279
while also claiming
the vaccines were dangerous.
394
00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:46,914
There were sources
within Tanzania
395
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:48,949
that he was very sick
with COVID-19.
396
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:50,984
That, of course,
is not confirmed,
397
00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:53,253
but given
all the circumstances at play
398
00:15:53,287 --> 00:15:55,989
and the secrecy
with which the government,
399
00:15:56,023 --> 00:15:57,791
uh, did its business,
400
00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:00,327
many people are skeptical
that, in fact,
401
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,864
it was only a heart condition
that led to his death.
402
00:16:03,897 --> 00:16:06,600
What have I been telling
you guys from the beginning?
403
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:09,369
The biggest risk factor
of corona
404
00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:11,972
is disrespecting corona.
405
00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:13,774
Anytime somebody says,
406
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:15,609
"This virus is no big deal,"
407
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,077
corona's like, "Okay.
408
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:19,379
Okay. It's gonna be
like that, huh? Okay."
409
00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:21,248
Then two weeks later,
it's fisting your lungs.
410
00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:22,983
"Who's the host now, huh? Huh?
411
00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:25,118
This real enough for you?
Huh? Huh?"
412
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:27,754
And, look, I know it's easy
to shit on the African country
413
00:16:27,788 --> 00:16:29,890
with the strongman leader
who doesn't believe in science,
414
00:16:29,923 --> 00:16:32,426
but please, don't forget,
America also had
415
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:35,028
a COVID-denying president
who got COVID.
416
00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:37,931
The only difference is America
had the elite medical teams
417
00:16:37,965 --> 00:16:41,502
with experimental drugs to keep
its dumb president alive.
418
00:16:41,535 --> 00:16:44,705
So, that's what's happening
with the vaccine rollout
419
00:16:44,738 --> 00:16:46,473
across the globe.
420
00:16:46,507 --> 00:16:49,710
And even though things are
going well in the United States,
421
00:16:49,743 --> 00:16:52,980
Americans unfortunately do need
to pay attention
422
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,348
to the world.
423
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:57,985
Because you see, as long
as the virus is still out there,
424
00:16:58,018 --> 00:17:00,587
it can always come back here.
425
00:17:00,621 --> 00:17:04,691
Because no country is an island.
426
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:08,662
Well, except for Iceland.
427
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,531
And the U.K.
428
00:17:10,564 --> 00:17:13,700
And all the Caribbean countries,
I guess.
429
00:17:13,734 --> 00:17:15,402
Sorry. Other than the...
430
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:18,472
But you know what I mean.
No country is an island.
431
00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:20,974
All right, when we come back...
Madagascar.
432
00:17:21,008 --> 00:17:24,278
Madagascar's also a...
And Tonga.
433
00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:27,481
Brunei.
Is that a country? Brunei.
434
00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:29,816
Brunei, maybe, as well.
435
00:17:29,850 --> 00:17:32,019
Sorry. All right,
when we come back, we've got...
436
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:34,855
Oh, Australia.
Mm, a continent or an i...
437
00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:36,757
Is it an island? When does...
438
00:17:36,790 --> 00:17:38,058
When we come back,
439
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:39,693
we've got an exciting
new tournament bracket
440
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:40,994
that you are gonna want
to fill out,
441
00:17:41,028 --> 00:17:44,398
and Arsenio Hall
joins us on the show,
442
00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:44,498
so don't go away.
Is Mauritius one of them?
443
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,468
Welcome back to The Daily
Social Distancing Show.
444
00:17:50,502 --> 00:17:53,104
We are now in the month
of March.
445
00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:54,439
Again.
446
00:17:54,472 --> 00:17:56,141
Or still?
447
00:17:56,174 --> 00:17:57,909
Either way,
it's hard to keep track.
448
00:17:57,943 --> 00:17:59,411
And since it's March,
449
00:17:59,444 --> 00:18:01,780
it's time once again
to fill out your bracket.
450
00:18:01,813 --> 00:18:04,783
And, no, I'm not talking about
college basketball brackets.
451
00:18:04,816 --> 00:18:08,019
I'm talking about your
Daily Show Bracket of Bullshit:
452
00:18:08,053 --> 00:18:09,721
Pandemic Edition.
453
00:18:09,754 --> 00:18:12,090
Because I know
most of last year was terrible,
454
00:18:12,123 --> 00:18:15,227
but some of it
was just annoying and dumb.
455
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:17,329
So we've put together
a tournament
456
00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:20,098
to choose
which trivial annoyance
457
00:18:20,131 --> 00:18:21,666
bugged you the most.
458
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:23,034
And here to break it all down
459
00:18:23,068 --> 00:18:25,504
is Michael Kosta
and Roy Wood Jr.
460
00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:27,539
? ?
461
00:18:28,874 --> 00:18:30,375
What's going on, everybody?
462
00:18:30,408 --> 00:18:32,978
-I'm Roy Wood Jr.
-And I'm Michael Kosta.
463
00:18:33,011 --> 00:18:34,446
Man, oh, man, Roy,
464
00:18:34,479 --> 00:18:38,550
did this pandemic year come
with some annoying-ass bullshit.
465
00:18:38,583 --> 00:18:40,485
It sure did, Kosta.
466
00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:42,420
My blood is boiling
just thinking
467
00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:45,824
about all the irritating
coronavirus poppycock.
468
00:18:45,857 --> 00:18:46,825
"Poppycock"?
469
00:18:46,858 --> 00:18:48,026
Yeah, man,
my kid's in the other room.
470
00:18:48,059 --> 00:18:49,094
He doesn't have headphones.
471
00:18:49,127 --> 00:18:51,129
I can't be dropping S-bombs
all over the place.
472
00:18:51,162 --> 00:18:52,831
Suit yourself, (bleep)head.
473
00:18:52,864 --> 00:18:54,566
Let's jump into the bracket.
This year,
474
00:18:54,599 --> 00:18:58,703
our 64 biggest annoyances
are divided into four regions:
475
00:18:58,737 --> 00:19:00,372
at home, safety,
476
00:19:00,405 --> 00:19:02,641
social,
and news and entertainment.
477
00:19:02,674 --> 00:19:04,176
I got to begin with "at home,"
478
00:19:04,209 --> 00:19:05,911
because that's where we've got
some of the stuff
479
00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:07,312
that annoyed me the most,
480
00:19:07,345 --> 00:19:09,481
like being forced to cook.
481
00:19:09,514 --> 00:19:11,449
Dude, I'm so sick of cooking.
482
00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:12,617
I never wanted to know
the difference
483
00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:14,619
between a chef's knife
and a paring knife.
484
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:16,555
You're still using knives, Roy?
485
00:19:16,588 --> 00:19:19,191
I gave up on utensils
back in November.
486
00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:20,926
Now I eat steak
with my bare hands
487
00:19:20,959 --> 00:19:23,461
like it's a breakfast bar.
I don't give a shit.
488
00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:24,729
Respect. Respect.
489
00:19:24,763 --> 00:19:26,565
Here's a contender
I'm really sick of,
490
00:19:26,598 --> 00:19:27,899
taking walks.
491
00:19:27,933 --> 00:19:29,568
Don't get me started on walks.
492
00:19:29,601 --> 00:19:32,237
All I do is walk.
Walk, walk, walk, walk, walk.
493
00:19:32,270 --> 00:19:34,239
At this point,
my shoes are more worn out
494
00:19:34,272 --> 00:19:36,107
than Obama
after his second term.
495
00:19:36,141 --> 00:19:38,076
I've walked around
the same block so many times,
496
00:19:38,109 --> 00:19:40,045
my neighbors
called the cops on me.
497
00:19:40,078 --> 00:19:41,279
And I'm white.
498
00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:43,448
Another hopeful in the bracket
that pisses me off,
499
00:19:43,481 --> 00:19:45,016
quarantinis.
500
00:19:45,050 --> 00:19:46,751
Even the word itself
is annoying.
501
00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:48,486
Makes me want to slap
my own mouth.
502
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,622
Okay, Roy, but isn't this
just people trying
503
00:19:50,655 --> 00:19:52,057
to make their drinking
seem cute?
504
00:19:52,090 --> 00:19:54,426
Putting "-tini"
at the end of a word
505
00:19:54,459 --> 00:19:57,262
doesn't make you any less
of an alcoholic.
506
00:19:57,295 --> 00:20:00,265
"Oh, what's this?
Oh, it's my lunch break-tini.
507
00:20:00,298 --> 00:20:03,568
Oh, and this? It's my
parent-teacher conference-tini."
508
00:20:03,602 --> 00:20:04,669
Call it what it is,
509
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:07,572
drinking alone
in front of your laptop.
510
00:20:07,606 --> 00:20:10,208
Roy, and there's nothing wrong
with that, man.
511
00:20:10,242 --> 00:20:12,043
Our next
pain-in-the-butt category,
512
00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:13,645
pandemic safety.
513
00:20:13,678 --> 00:20:16,548
You can't talk about safety
without talking about masks.
514
00:20:16,581 --> 00:20:19,351
They're saving lives but
they're still annoying as hell.
515
00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:21,353
And what's the most
annoying thing about them?
516
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:22,654
Well, you've got maskne,
517
00:20:22,687 --> 00:20:24,122
you got the tight ear loops,
518
00:20:24,155 --> 00:20:27,092
and-- as I like to call them--
the under-the-nose bros.
519
00:20:27,125 --> 00:20:30,095
WOOD: Hell yeah! Mask under
the nose is bringing the heat.
520
00:20:30,128 --> 00:20:32,364
What's with these people?
You got to cover the mouth
521
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:34,266
and the nostril,
same as if you're trying
522
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:36,067
to smother somebody
with a pillow.
523
00:20:36,101 --> 00:20:38,103
I've been watching
a lot of murder documentaries.
524
00:20:38,136 --> 00:20:41,206
Oh. Okay, well, that gets us
into our next category,
525
00:20:41,239 --> 00:20:42,607
news and entertainment.
526
00:20:42,641 --> 00:20:44,209
Lots to be annoyed with here,
527
00:20:44,242 --> 00:20:47,812
but I think that movies getting
delayed could go all the way.
528
00:20:47,846 --> 00:20:49,381
-(grunts)
-Bro, you may be right.
529
00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:51,883
I spent years waiting
for a Black James Bond.
530
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,619
Now I'll just settle
for any Bond I can get.
531
00:20:54,653 --> 00:20:56,755
Give me Daniel Craig,
Pierce Brosnan.
532
00:20:56,788 --> 00:20:58,456
Hell, I'll take Seth Rogen.
533
00:20:58,490 --> 00:21:00,959
That's interesting. They
could call it Live and Get High.
534
00:21:00,992 --> 00:21:03,695
Yeah, I was thinking
High Another Day.
535
00:21:03,728 --> 00:21:05,897
That works, too.
But here's something else
536
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:08,500
that's P.O.'d a lot of people
this last year,
537
00:21:08,533 --> 00:21:10,302
having to root for big pharma.
538
00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:11,469
(groans)
539
00:21:11,503 --> 00:21:13,338
That one stings, man.
540
00:21:13,371 --> 00:21:15,507
Big pharma's supposed to be
the bad guy.
541
00:21:15,540 --> 00:21:17,642
Now everybody's treating
Johnson & Johnson
542
00:21:17,676 --> 00:21:19,611
like it's
Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson.
543
00:21:19,644 --> 00:21:21,213
You know, sure,
we love them now.
544
00:21:21,246 --> 00:21:23,281
But as soon as I get my vaccine,
545
00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:25,684
I'm gonna be going right back
to hating them again.
546
00:21:25,717 --> 00:21:27,152
Until I need my booster.
547
00:21:27,185 --> 00:21:29,554
After that,
they can go (bleep) themselves.
548
00:21:29,588 --> 00:21:32,190
You know what I think
is gonna be hard to beat though?
549
00:21:32,224 --> 00:21:34,125
-Say it with me, Kosta.
-Okay.
550
00:21:34,159 --> 00:21:37,329
BOTH: Kim Kardashian's
40th birthday party.
551
00:21:37,362 --> 00:21:39,030
KOSTA:
That was some bullshit.
552
00:21:39,064 --> 00:21:42,033
Kim invited all her friends
and family to a private island
553
00:21:42,067 --> 00:21:44,669
and rubbed it in all of
our dumb, double-masked faces.
554
00:21:44,703 --> 00:21:46,671
Yeah, her 40th birthday
was bigger than mine,
555
00:21:46,705 --> 00:21:48,940
and mine was before
the pandemic.
556
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:50,509
You had a 40th birthday party?
557
00:21:50,542 --> 00:21:52,043
(stammering)
558
00:21:52,077 --> 00:21:54,212
I'm sorry, brother.
It-- We got a bad...
559
00:21:54,246 --> 00:21:55,814
(mimicking cutting out)
560
00:21:55,847 --> 00:21:57,883
-...connection.
-Yeah. I'll say.
561
00:21:57,916 --> 00:21:59,518
Speaking of connecting,
let's hit up
562
00:21:59,551 --> 00:22:01,686
our fourth and final category,
563
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,455
everything social.
564
00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:05,490
An MVP coming in hot,
565
00:22:05,524 --> 00:22:07,292
FaceTiming with your parents.
566
00:22:07,325 --> 00:22:09,361
My mom still doesn't have
the hang of it.
567
00:22:09,394 --> 00:22:11,029
I've seen so much
of her forehead,
568
00:22:11,062 --> 00:22:13,465
I could do an ice sculpture
of it blindfolded.
569
00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:15,367
Just be glad
she's in the frame at all.
570
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,036
I just spent two hours talking
to my mom's ceiling fan.
571
00:22:18,069 --> 00:22:20,038
(mimicking whirring sounds)
572
00:22:20,071 --> 00:22:22,040
I think a key player
in this category
573
00:22:22,073 --> 00:22:24,876
is gonna be "thriving friends."
574
00:22:24,910 --> 00:22:26,378
Y'all know who these people are.
575
00:22:26,411 --> 00:22:28,547
All those annoying people
posting about how great
576
00:22:28,580 --> 00:22:30,115
-they're doing.
-Yeah, I don't need to see
577
00:22:30,148 --> 00:22:33,051
a 20-minute video of you
mastering the crow pose
578
00:22:33,084 --> 00:22:34,986
or of your juice cleanse
journey.
579
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:38,190
At this point, I know so much
about my Cousin Dave's colon,
580
00:22:38,223 --> 00:22:39,558
I could be his proctologist.
581
00:22:39,591 --> 00:22:41,893
And it's not
a real pandemic bracket
582
00:22:41,927 --> 00:22:43,995
if Zoom didn't get
in the game.
583
00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:45,764
KOSTA:
We got funny Zoom backgrounds,
584
00:22:45,797 --> 00:22:48,099
Zoom parties, Zoom time limits.
585
00:22:48,133 --> 00:22:50,335
Who are you to limit my time,
Zoom?
586
00:22:50,368 --> 00:22:53,371
What's next, I only get
40 minutes in the bathroom, too?
587
00:22:53,405 --> 00:22:55,807
I hate, hate, hate
that time limit.
588
00:22:55,841 --> 00:22:57,742
I could go off on this all day.
589
00:22:57,776 --> 00:22:59,177
I mean, for one reason,
this is...
590
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:05,217
Oh. Uh, looks like I forgot to
upgrade to the business version.
591
00:23:05,250 --> 00:23:06,651
My bad, guys.
592
00:23:06,685 --> 00:23:09,387
Anyway, the Daily Show Bracket
of Bullshit: Pandemic Edition
593
00:23:09,421 --> 00:23:12,824
is live right now.
So go to DailyShowBracket.com
594
00:23:12,858 --> 00:23:15,694
and start voting and find out
if everyone else
595
00:23:15,727 --> 00:23:18,897
was as annoyed
by the same things as you were.
596
00:23:18,930 --> 00:23:22,067
When we come back,
the man himself, Arsenio Hall,
597
00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:23,401
will be joining me on the show.
598
00:23:23,435 --> 00:23:23,502
You don't want to miss it.
599
00:23:26,271 --> 00:23:28,073
Welcome back to The Daily
Social Distancing Show.
600
00:23:28,106 --> 00:23:30,542
Earlier today,
I spoke with legendary comedian
601
00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:32,711
and actor Arsenio Hall.
602
00:23:32,744 --> 00:23:34,245
We talked about what it was like
603
00:23:34,279 --> 00:23:37,682
being the first Black late-night
talk show host in America
604
00:23:37,716 --> 00:23:41,686
and making the sequel
to Coming to America.
605
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,156
Soon, Nexdorian warriors
will assassinate me.
606
00:23:45,190 --> 00:23:48,093
And I have a child
on the other side of the world.
607
00:23:49,327 --> 00:23:51,062
Take heart in your grief.
608
00:23:51,096 --> 00:23:52,397
You are king now.
609
00:23:52,430 --> 00:23:53,898
Be as your father.
610
00:23:53,932 --> 00:23:55,233
Bark orders at me.
611
00:23:55,266 --> 00:23:56,468
Throw things at me.
612
00:23:56,501 --> 00:23:58,269
It will make you happy.
613
00:24:02,641 --> 00:24:04,809
Prepare the royal jet.
614
00:24:06,511 --> 00:24:08,713
We are going back to America.
615
00:24:10,515 --> 00:24:13,151
Oh, hell no, Your Majesty.
616
00:24:13,184 --> 00:24:14,619
Arsenio Hall.
617
00:24:14,653 --> 00:24:16,821
Welcome to The Daily
Social Distancing Show.
618
00:24:16,855 --> 00:24:19,424
(chuckles)
Thank you, man. I-I watch you.
619
00:24:19,457 --> 00:24:21,860
So it's kind of--
I'm trying to be cool.
620
00:24:21,893 --> 00:24:24,329
-It's kind of exciting. I'm
trying to be cool. -Oh, please.
621
00:24:24,362 --> 00:24:27,365
Oh, please. Oh, please.
What are you talking about?
622
00:24:27,399 --> 00:24:29,401
I love what you're doing,
Trevor.
623
00:24:29,434 --> 00:24:31,536
You're-you're smart.
You're funny.
624
00:24:31,569 --> 00:24:33,071
By the way, the Grammys.
625
00:24:33,104 --> 00:24:35,407
I watched the Grammys twice,
bro.
626
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:36,408
Thank you, man.
627
00:24:36,441 --> 00:24:37,809
First of all, congratulations.
628
00:24:37,842 --> 00:24:39,911
Coming 2 America.
629
00:24:39,945 --> 00:24:42,714
Uh, the biggest movie in America
right now.
630
00:24:42,747 --> 00:24:45,050
Amazon says it was so successful
631
00:24:45,083 --> 00:24:47,085
they thought that their servers
were breaking.
632
00:24:47,118 --> 00:24:49,487
That is how successful
the movie has been.
633
00:24:49,521 --> 00:24:51,623
You came back,
the cast came back,
634
00:24:51,656 --> 00:24:53,758
new additions came back,
but, I mean,
635
00:24:53,792 --> 00:24:55,493
I know
what I was looking forward to
636
00:24:55,527 --> 00:24:57,629
was seeing
that magical combo again,
637
00:24:57,662 --> 00:24:59,164
Eddie and Arsenio.
638
00:24:59,197 --> 00:25:01,266
Looking forward to seeing
the preacher.
639
00:25:01,299 --> 00:25:02,801
I was looking forward
to seeing--
640
00:25:02,834 --> 00:25:05,270
The new character.
I loved-- I loved, uh...
641
00:25:05,303 --> 00:25:07,138
I loved that little new
character that you had there.
642
00:25:07,172 --> 00:25:08,239
-That was...
-The Baba.
643
00:25:08,273 --> 00:25:09,507
Yeah. That was pretty amazing.
644
00:25:09,541 --> 00:25:12,077
I was just like,
"Is that Arsenio?"
645
00:25:12,110 --> 00:25:13,078
I was...
646
00:25:13,111 --> 00:25:14,546
(stammers)
You...
647
00:25:14,579 --> 00:25:15,647
My man.
648
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:17,315
Congratulations.
649
00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:18,984
Yeah, it was--
it was a lot of fun.
650
00:25:19,017 --> 00:25:21,653
And-and I love having a movie
that I'm in
651
00:25:21,686 --> 00:25:24,689
compared to Kim Kardashian's
ass, you know?
652
00:25:24,723 --> 00:25:28,193
I mean, 'cause that's the last
time I saw something get broken
653
00:25:28,226 --> 00:25:29,527
online, you know.
654
00:25:29,561 --> 00:25:31,463
That's the last time
the Internet got broken.
655
00:25:31,496 --> 00:25:34,499
Yes, yes. And we got close
to Kim's ass.
656
00:25:34,532 --> 00:25:36,735
We got close. We didn't
break it, but we got close.
657
00:25:36,768 --> 00:25:39,271
My friend,
it's-it's been such a success,
658
00:25:39,304 --> 00:25:40,939
and-and you can see why.
659
00:25:40,972 --> 00:25:43,108
I want to talk to you about
the journey that you've been on,
660
00:25:43,141 --> 00:25:44,576
you know, yourself and Eddie,
661
00:25:44,609 --> 00:25:46,077
the-the journey
of Coming to America.
662
00:25:46,111 --> 00:25:48,079
I mean, this is--
Y-You know,
663
00:25:48,113 --> 00:25:50,715
now it seems like an obvious
concept because it's been done.
664
00:25:50,749 --> 00:25:54,786
But Coming 2 America was one of
the craziest ideas for a movie,
665
00:25:54,819 --> 00:25:57,155
and the way you guys executed it
was double cra--
666
00:25:57,188 --> 00:26:00,358
No one was just playing all of
the characters during that time.
667
00:26:00,392 --> 00:26:01,826
When you were thinking
of this together,
668
00:26:01,860 --> 00:26:02,961
when you and Eddie were
talking about it,
669
00:26:02,994 --> 00:26:04,896
did you... did you think
it would work,
670
00:26:04,929 --> 00:26:06,264
or was it one of those,
where you're like,
671
00:26:06,298 --> 00:26:08,533
"Let's-let's do this crazy thing
and just have fun"?
672
00:26:08,566 --> 00:26:12,504
Well, you know, initially, when
Eddie brought me the concept
673
00:26:12,537 --> 00:26:15,140
and was reading a pad--
you don't see that any more.
674
00:26:15,173 --> 00:26:17,876
But he's reading off
a yellow legal pad.
675
00:26:17,909 --> 00:26:21,046
And it's just
a fish-out-of-water movie
676
00:26:21,079 --> 00:26:23,682
about two guys
who come to America.
677
00:26:23,715 --> 00:26:26,651
And Eddie was going through
some personal stuff then,
678
00:26:26,685 --> 00:26:29,654
where he said,
"You know, I meet women,
679
00:26:29,688 --> 00:26:32,223
and they know I'm Eddie Murphy,
and they know I got paper."
680
00:26:32,257 --> 00:26:34,125
We didn't use the term "paper"
back then.
681
00:26:34,159 --> 00:26:39,130
"But I sometimes worry that
they don't accept me for me.
682
00:26:39,164 --> 00:26:41,232
"...horrible situations
where I know
683
00:26:41,266 --> 00:26:43,168
they're not accepting me
for who I am."
684
00:26:43,201 --> 00:26:45,103
-Right. Right.
-"I wish I could go someplace,
685
00:26:45,136 --> 00:26:47,672
and people not know who I was."
686
00:26:47,706 --> 00:26:50,809
And that was where
that movie started.
687
00:26:50,842 --> 00:26:53,311
And everybody loves
Eddie's characters,
688
00:26:53,345 --> 00:26:55,013
and wanted him
to play characters.
689
00:26:55,046 --> 00:26:57,716
-Right. -"And you guys will be
some of the people you meet
690
00:26:57,749 --> 00:26:59,551
when you come to America."
691
00:26:59,584 --> 00:27:01,786
That set it off
and took it to another place.
692
00:27:01,820 --> 00:27:03,355
The first time I watched
Coming to America,
693
00:27:03,388 --> 00:27:05,223
I remember the credits
playing at the end,
694
00:27:05,256 --> 00:27:06,992
and then they started
putting up all the people.
695
00:27:07,025 --> 00:27:08,893
And I expected the Eddie thing.
I genuinely did.
696
00:27:08,927 --> 00:27:10,028
'Cause I was like,
"Oh, yeah, I thought
697
00:27:10,061 --> 00:27:11,229
that was Eddie.
I thought that..."
698
00:27:11,262 --> 00:27:13,431
No joke, every time
that there were...
699
00:27:13,465 --> 00:27:15,767
a character was you,
I was like, "No!
700
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:19,671
No! How? No!"
701
00:27:19,704 --> 00:27:22,440
-You-you have an a ability...
-But at some point did you say,
702
00:27:22,474 --> 00:27:24,476
"He's even that bitch
in the red dress"?
703
00:27:24,509 --> 00:27:26,511
-Did you say that?
-(laughter)
704
00:27:26,544 --> 00:27:30,081
You-you have the ability
to transform completely.
705
00:27:30,115 --> 00:27:31,750
Eddie was supposed
706
00:27:31,783 --> 00:27:35,453
-to do that witch doctor,
shaman character, Baba. -Right.
707
00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:39,591
And he found out-- he looked
at the models-- and he found out
708
00:27:39,624 --> 00:27:42,160
it was a six-and-a-half-hour
makeup job.
709
00:27:42,193 --> 00:27:43,995
And he was like...
710
00:27:44,029 --> 00:27:45,964
He didn't tell me at first.
He said, "Bro, you know what?
711
00:27:45,997 --> 00:27:47,899
I think you'd be better
for the witch doctor."
712
00:27:47,932 --> 00:27:49,634
And I'm like, "Wait. He just..."
He said...
713
00:27:49,668 --> 00:27:51,503
He gave me all that bullshit
you just gave.
714
00:27:51,536 --> 00:27:53,638
"Yeah, you-you...
There's something about you
715
00:27:53,672 --> 00:27:54,940
"and the prosthetics.
716
00:27:54,973 --> 00:27:57,509
"When you go under, man,
you go deep into it, and
717
00:27:57,542 --> 00:27:58,977
you know, I think
this one's for you."
718
00:27:59,010 --> 00:28:02,047
And I found out is, he didn't
want to do it. (laughs)
719
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,015
I love it, man. You-you...
720
00:28:04,049 --> 00:28:05,583
The two of you have had
an interesting connection
721
00:28:05,617 --> 00:28:09,287
your entire lives, and I love
how your connection came
722
00:28:09,321 --> 00:28:12,090
from the fact that back
when were you doing comedy,
723
00:28:12,123 --> 00:28:14,893
there were so few Black
comedians who were on the scene.
724
00:28:14,926 --> 00:28:18,930
And-and why I'm so interested
in that is because of what I do.
725
00:28:18,964 --> 00:28:22,400
Arsenio Hall is literally
part of the reason
726
00:28:22,434 --> 00:28:24,035
that I sit here today.
727
00:28:24,069 --> 00:28:26,771
I remember watching your show
on TV in South Africa,
728
00:28:26,805 --> 00:28:28,373
and all of a sudden,
there was just, like, an influx
729
00:28:28,406 --> 00:28:30,709
of Black people
on a late night TV show.
730
00:28:30,742 --> 00:28:32,444
And it wasn't just successful.
731
00:28:32,477 --> 00:28:34,646
It was the biggest show
at the time.
732
00:28:34,679 --> 00:28:37,882
You were breaking
every possible barrier,
733
00:28:37,916 --> 00:28:39,851
giving people opportunities that
never had gotten opportunities.
734
00:28:39,884 --> 00:28:41,953
I mean, you know,
Mariah Carey's debut
735
00:28:41,987 --> 00:28:43,955
on television-- Arsenio Hall.
736
00:28:43,989 --> 00:28:45,790
Usher Raymond-- Arsenio Hall.
737
00:28:45,824 --> 00:28:48,426
You know, just, I mean,
the-the list is-is endless.
738
00:28:48,460 --> 00:28:51,596
I mean, you had everybody on,
from Michael Jackson to Prince.
739
00:28:51,630 --> 00:28:54,499
You know,
you-you had Magic Johnson on.
740
00:28:54,532 --> 00:28:56,101
After he had revealed
his HIV status,
741
00:28:56,134 --> 00:28:57,969
he came on Arsenio Hall.
742
00:28:58,003 --> 00:29:00,905
That time and that legacy
is so interesting
743
00:29:00,939 --> 00:29:02,107
to me for two reasons.
744
00:29:02,140 --> 00:29:04,309
One-- because you broke
what existed,
745
00:29:04,342 --> 00:29:07,078
but also,
because you started a journey
746
00:29:07,112 --> 00:29:09,381
that then it seems like
Hollywood just stopped doing
747
00:29:09,414 --> 00:29:11,483
after you stopped
doing the show.
748
00:29:11,516 --> 00:29:13,818
You were... you were
bringing women on board
749
00:29:13,852 --> 00:29:15,120
as executive producers.
750
00:29:15,153 --> 00:29:16,755
You were bringing Black people
on as writers
751
00:29:16,788 --> 00:29:17,956
who never got opportunities.
752
00:29:17,989 --> 00:29:19,958
You made an inclusive staff.
753
00:29:19,991 --> 00:29:23,428
what do you think happened
that that just didn't carry on
754
00:29:23,461 --> 00:29:26,464
after you left, in
every other show that got made?
755
00:29:26,498 --> 00:29:29,301
Well... Wow.
756
00:29:29,334 --> 00:29:31,636
Like, I don't know
if I'm aware of that...
757
00:29:31,670 --> 00:29:36,041
totally, but, um, that's...
that's nice to hear.
758
00:29:36,074 --> 00:29:38,576
And-and maybe
we got too comfortable.
759
00:29:38,610 --> 00:29:40,745
Because sometimes,
760
00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:43,682
when things aren't right, you
fight for things, you battle.
761
00:29:43,715 --> 00:29:46,017
I remember asking
for an intern program
762
00:29:46,051 --> 00:29:47,852
when I first got my gig.
763
00:29:47,886 --> 00:29:50,755
I did that. When I tried
to raid the writers rooms
764
00:29:50,789 --> 00:29:53,925
of the other shows,
there were no Black writers.
765
00:29:53,959 --> 00:29:55,527
-Right. -That's the first thing
I noticed.
766
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:58,263
And I'm so proud. My first
intern was John Singleton,
767
00:29:58,296 --> 00:30:00,298
who went on to win an Oscar.
768
00:30:00,332 --> 00:30:02,901
You know, and-and a lot
of wonderful writers
769
00:30:02,934 --> 00:30:04,502
and interns came through there.
770
00:30:04,536 --> 00:30:09,240
So I fought a lot because I felt
we didn't have what we needed.
771
00:30:09,274 --> 00:30:11,409
I remember watching some
of the other shows,
772
00:30:11,443 --> 00:30:14,045
and you could wait a month
and not see a Black person.
773
00:30:14,079 --> 00:30:16,047
You know, when I was growing up
in Cleveland,
774
00:30:16,081 --> 00:30:18,883
you know, you would spread
the word around and say,
775
00:30:18,917 --> 00:30:22,320
"Hey, I hear Al Green gonna be
on The Tonight Show next month."
776
00:30:22,354 --> 00:30:24,322
You know?
It was a big thing, you know.
777
00:30:24,356 --> 00:30:27,993
So I wanted
to, uh, bring more faces,
778
00:30:28,026 --> 00:30:29,160
and like you said, more women.
779
00:30:29,194 --> 00:30:30,795
My whole staff--
the important ones--
780
00:30:30,829 --> 00:30:32,430
were all females, you know.
781
00:30:32,464 --> 00:30:33,632
-Right.
-I shouldn't say that.
782
00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:34,766
I'll get in trouble for that.
783
00:30:34,799 --> 00:30:36,501
But... but, uh... but basically,
784
00:30:36,534 --> 00:30:40,005
I saw a need,
and I tried to fill those needs.
785
00:30:40,038 --> 00:30:42,774
I think once we get
comfortable, we stop pushing.
786
00:30:42,807 --> 00:30:44,309
And also, keep in mind,
787
00:30:44,342 --> 00:30:47,012
-the pie has been spread
in a different way now. -Right.
788
00:30:47,045 --> 00:30:51,082
We're in a situation now where,
between the Internet,
789
00:30:51,116 --> 00:30:54,419
and I mean, everything
from SoundCloud to Instagram,
790
00:30:54,452 --> 00:30:57,789
you don't have to come one
or two places anymore,
791
00:30:57,822 --> 00:31:00,292
-to show the world what you do.
-Right, right, right.
792
00:31:00,325 --> 00:31:02,961
You-you achieved a lot of these
things when you were so young.
793
00:31:02,994 --> 00:31:04,396
You were young, Eddie was young.
794
00:31:04,429 --> 00:31:06,431
Do you sometimes, like,
regret the fact
795
00:31:06,464 --> 00:31:08,133
that you were that young
when it was happening,
796
00:31:08,166 --> 00:31:10,468
or-or... or did you feel
that you guys had level heads,
797
00:31:10,502 --> 00:31:12,137
even though you were that young?
798
00:31:12,170 --> 00:31:14,139
'Cause most people wouldn't
survive being that famous
799
00:31:14,172 --> 00:31:15,907
in their early 20s.
800
00:31:15,941 --> 00:31:18,343
Yeah, I had a great time.
801
00:31:18,376 --> 00:31:21,012
And I think
everything happens for a reason.
802
00:31:21,046 --> 00:31:24,382
I believe strongly
in God's plan.
803
00:31:24,416 --> 00:31:27,819
Uh, if I had
that schedule now...
804
00:31:27,852 --> 00:31:29,354
Like, Trevor, just sitting here
805
00:31:29,387 --> 00:31:31,222
looking at your dimples
tires me out.
806
00:31:31,256 --> 00:31:33,558
-(laughs)
-You know?
807
00:31:33,591 --> 00:31:36,561
So back in the day,
I had all the energy
808
00:31:36,594 --> 00:31:38,830
and the enthusiasm
and the dream.
809
00:31:38,863 --> 00:31:41,299
And now,
I love being the old head
810
00:31:41,333 --> 00:31:42,867
who sits and talks about it,
811
00:31:42,901 --> 00:31:45,503
and looks
for my next gig here and there.
812
00:31:45,537 --> 00:31:48,273
Right. What-what is up next
for Arsenio Hall?
813
00:31:48,306 --> 00:31:50,141
Because I mean, I feel like
you could do anything.
814
00:31:50,175 --> 00:31:52,611
The-the acting bug bit me, man.
815
00:31:52,644 --> 00:31:54,012
You know,
I've been out doing standup
816
00:31:54,045 --> 00:31:55,680
and doing a lot of things,
817
00:31:55,714 --> 00:31:57,282
but I hadn't acted in a while.
818
00:31:57,315 --> 00:31:59,818
And, um, that's where
I'm headed next.
819
00:31:59,851 --> 00:32:03,021
I want to act more, so, uh,
when you do your life story,
820
00:32:03,054 --> 00:32:05,290
let me play your Cousin Squiggy.
821
00:32:05,323 --> 00:32:07,659
-(laughs)
-Or whatever his name is.
822
00:32:07,692 --> 00:32:10,328
(laughter)
823
00:32:10,362 --> 00:32:12,030
Oh, man.
I feel like you could...
824
00:32:12,063 --> 00:32:13,965
After-after seeing you play
the characters you played,
825
00:32:13,999 --> 00:32:15,533
I genuinely believe
you could play any...
826
00:32:15,567 --> 00:32:17,636
I'll-I'll cast you as my uncle.
827
00:32:17,669 --> 00:32:19,237
We put a few prosthetics
in there,
828
00:32:19,271 --> 00:32:20,972
and-and I think you got the gig.
829
00:32:21,006 --> 00:32:22,707
Arsenio, man, I could talk
to you forever.
830
00:32:22,741 --> 00:32:24,376
And, uh,
I congratulate you, man.
831
00:32:24,409 --> 00:32:25,610
Thank you for everything
you've done.
832
00:32:25,644 --> 00:32:27,345
Not just in the movies,
833
00:32:27,379 --> 00:32:29,014
but behind the scenes
in the industry.
834
00:32:29,047 --> 00:32:32,183
Thank you for being a mentor,
thank you for being a friend.
835
00:32:32,217 --> 00:32:34,219
You know, thank you
for putting everybody on,
836
00:32:34,252 --> 00:32:35,620
'cause that's what you did.
837
00:32:35,654 --> 00:32:38,823
You put everybody on,
which you didn't have to do.
838
00:32:38,857 --> 00:32:40,825
I appreciate you.
Look after yourself.
839
00:32:40,859 --> 00:32:43,461
And, uh, we'll see you
in the next movie, my friend.
840
00:32:43,495 --> 00:32:45,997
God bless you, Trevor.
Talk to you soon.
841
00:32:46,031 --> 00:32:47,332
Thank you so much, my dude.
842
00:32:47,365 --> 00:32:50,302
Don't forget. Coming 2 America
is available now
843
00:32:50,335 --> 00:32:52,103
on Amazon Prime Video.
844
00:32:52,137 --> 00:32:53,571
All right,
we're gonna take a quick break,
845
00:32:53,605 --> 00:32:53,672
but we'll be right back
after this.
846
00:32:56,740 --> 00:32:58,542
Well, that's our show
for tonight, but before we go,
847
00:32:58,575 --> 00:33:00,043
it is Women's History Month,
848
00:33:00,077 --> 00:33:03,313
so please consider supporting
Black Girls Code,
849
00:33:03,346 --> 00:33:06,450
an organization dedicated
to leveling the playing field
850
00:33:06,483 --> 00:33:08,185
for girls of color in STEM.
851
00:33:08,218 --> 00:33:10,187
By supporting Black Girls Code,
852
00:33:10,220 --> 00:33:11,688
you're helping empower
young girls
853
00:33:11,721 --> 00:33:14,324
to change their lives
using technology.
854
00:33:14,357 --> 00:33:17,594
And change all of our lives,
as well, for the better.
855
00:33:17,627 --> 00:33:19,362
If you can help out,
go to the link below
856
00:33:19,396 --> 00:33:21,264
and donate whatever you can.
857
00:33:21,298 --> 00:33:23,500
Until tomorrow,
stay safe out there,
858
00:33:23,533 --> 00:33:26,002
wear a mask, and remember,
859
00:33:26,036 --> 00:33:28,438
as the great children's
philosopher once said,
860
00:33:28,472 --> 00:33:30,674
"Would you like a hurt donut?"
861
00:33:30,707 --> 00:33:33,343
Ha, ha! Hurts. Don't it?
862
00:33:33,376 --> 00:33:35,846
Now here it is--
Your Moment of Zen.
863
00:33:35,879 --> 00:33:37,814
Does anybody
in this restaurant think
864
00:33:37,848 --> 00:33:40,517
-it's a good idea
to take the vaccine? -No.
865
00:33:40,550 --> 00:33:43,253
Raise your hand
if you think it's a good idea.
866
00:33:43,286 --> 00:33:45,355
Anyone here-- it's a good idea
to take the vaccine?
867
00:33:45,388 --> 00:33:48,258
Raise your hand if you think
it's a good idea.
868
00:33:48,291 --> 00:33:49,693
Not one person here
who thinks it's a good idea?
869
00:33:49,726 --> 00:33:51,695
What do you think
about the vaccine?
870
00:33:51,728 --> 00:33:53,130
-Are you gonna take
the vaccine? -No, sir.
871
00:33:53,163 --> 00:33:54,831
-Tell me why. -Well, I don't
trust the government,
872
00:33:54,865 --> 00:33:56,233
and I don't trust Biden.
873
00:33:56,266 --> 00:33:59,770
I just.. I'm just not.
I'm not gonna take it.
874
00:33:59,803 --> 00:34:01,271
Are you going
to take the vaccine?
875
00:34:01,304 --> 00:34:03,507
-I have taken it. -And what
made you decide to take it?
876
00:34:03,540 --> 00:34:03,607
My wife.