1 00:00:00,968 --> 00:00:02,269 Hello there. 2 00:00:02,369 --> 00:00:04,071 You're about to watch an episode of The Daily Show. 3 00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:07,307 That means there's some news and some jokes on the way. 4 00:00:07,407 --> 00:00:09,743 So if you like laughing at news, 5 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:13,180 you're in the right (bleep) place, honey. 6 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:15,315 After two long years, 7 00:00:15,415 --> 00:00:19,019 The Daily Show is finally back with an audience. 8 00:00:19,119 --> 00:00:21,088 (applause and cheering) 9 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:23,790 Yeah! 10 00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:26,493 Let's hear how excited they are. 11 00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:28,829 I'm so excited that we are the first audience 12 00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:31,698 -in two years to be here. That's amazing. -In two years. 13 00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:34,902 I flew in from Canada last night just for this show today. 14 00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:37,037 How excited are you to see the show? 15 00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:40,474 This is the line for the COVID test, right? 16 00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:42,809 Yes. Yes, it is. 17 00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:45,145 I'm from Miami. It's crazy to be here. 18 00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:47,681 This is wilder than a South Beach party. 19 00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:50,317 I couldn't be more pumped to cut work to be here. 20 00:00:50,417 --> 00:00:51,818 Who are you excited to see here tonight? 21 00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:55,923 -Well, I'm really excited to see Trevor. -Trevor, obviously. 22 00:00:56,023 --> 00:00:57,424 -And, um... anyone else? -Ronny. 23 00:00:57,524 --> 00:00:58,792 -Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Ronny. Yeah. -Yeah, Ronny, yeah. 24 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,294 -Ronny, yeah. -Ronny, and, uh... 25 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,062 And I'm sure there's someone else you're excited to see. 26 00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:03,463 -Um, who else? -Dulcé. 27 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:04,665 -Dulcé, yeah, yeah, yeah. -Oh, Dulcé's really great, too. 28 00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:05,666 These look like fun people. 29 00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:07,067 We love the show so much, 30 00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:08,602 and it really helped us through quarantine. 31 00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:10,804 I am so excited to be here! 32 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,073 Mom, I hope you're jealous. 33 00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:14,708 So many fans here today. 34 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:18,078 Wait. Roy? Roy, you know you don't have to stand in line. 35 00:01:18,178 --> 00:01:19,913 You can just go right in. 36 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,415 Nah, nah, nah, I don't want any special treatment. 37 00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:23,550 I'm a man of the people. 38 00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:26,820 Okay. 39 00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:30,257 So excited to see the show live. I love it so much. 40 00:01:30,357 --> 00:01:33,427 It's my first time in person anywhere in forever. 41 00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:34,828 What's your name? How you feeling? 42 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,230 My name's Greg McFarly, 43 00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:38,332 and I'm really excited to be in the audience today. 44 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,901 Greg McFarly? 45 00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:43,504 That's the name of the man who killed my brother. 46 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:46,707 ♪ ♪ 47 00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:53,347 Hey! 48 00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:58,385 ANNOUNCER: Coming to you from New York City, 49 00:01:58,485 --> 00:02:02,289 the only city in America, it's The Daily Show. 50 00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:06,860 Tonight-- Washington has COVID, 51 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,662 KBJ goes all the way, 52 00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:11,498 and Ben Stiller. 53 00:02:11,598 --> 00:02:15,802 This is The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. 54 00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:19,173 (cheers and applause) 55 00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:33,921 Hey, what's going on, everybody? 56 00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:37,291 Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Trevor Noah. 57 00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:39,493 And you may have noticed, you maybe have noticed 58 00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,895 that we're back with a live audience. 59 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,897 We're back with a live audience. 60 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,900 Thank you very much. Thank you. Take a seat. Take a seat, guys. 61 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,436 Wow. Oh, take a seat. We're back. 62 00:02:49,536 --> 00:02:52,339 Sit down, sit down. Thank you so much. 63 00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:54,875 Oh, wow. Oh, this is fun. 64 00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:56,877 I've missed you guys, man. I've missed you. 65 00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:59,479 -(applause and cheering) -This is... 66 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,281 You know? 67 00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:04,218 I'm so sorry that we were separated for two years. 68 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,619 You know, in hindsight, 69 00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:07,688 I shouldn't have left my Tupperware open in Wuhan. 70 00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,690 That was my bad, my bad. 71 00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,692 The important part is that we're all back together, 72 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:14,862 and the reunion sex is gonna be amazing. Yeah. 73 00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:16,663 It's been a while. It's just comedy. Don't stress. 74 00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:19,233 You screamed like, "What?!" No, there's no sex. 75 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,268 Nothing has changed. We got a great show tonight 76 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,270 because Ben Stiller is our guest, everybody. 77 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:26,773 -(applause and cheering) -And, uh, I'm so excited 78 00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:30,110 because we're gonna be talking about his hit show, Severance. 79 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,546 It's a really amazing show about people 80 00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:34,982 who can't remember what they did at work, 81 00:03:35,082 --> 00:03:36,683 which sounds like a documentary to me. 82 00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:38,819 Also on today's show, we'll be celebrating 83 00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,320 the Supreme Court's newest member, 84 00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:43,123 Ketanji Brown Jackson, everybody! So let's do it. 85 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,425 Let's jump straight into today's headlines. 86 00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:49,296 ♪ ♪ 87 00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:55,636 All right, let's kick things off in Washington D.C., 88 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:58,105 home of the world's most famous statue of a guy 89 00:03:58,205 --> 00:04:01,241 watching TV I'm gonna guess? Is that what he's doing? 90 00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:03,143 And those days... You know, these days, 91 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,713 it's also the home of America's most elite COVID outbreak. 92 00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:08,182 And turning to the pandemic, 93 00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:10,517 the list of high-profile government officials 94 00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:13,754 testing positive for COVID is growing longer. 95 00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:16,390 Last week's Gridiron Dinner, which hosted several members 96 00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,192 of Washington's elite political class, 97 00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:19,826 including those cabinet members, 98 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,895 has become the source of a major outbreak. 99 00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:26,099 New tonight-- we've learned 67 attendees have tested positive. 100 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,936 That's about ten percent of that total crowd. 101 00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:32,706 House speaker Nancy Pelosi's positive COVID test today 102 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:36,543 came less than 24 hours after she was standing next to 103 00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:38,812 President Biden for a bill signing. 104 00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:42,082 That interaction followed this one on Tuesday, 105 00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:44,985 when the 82-year-old kissed the president. 106 00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:47,521 White House Communications Director Kate Bedingfield also 107 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:51,558 said that it is conceivable, uh, possible that the president 108 00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:54,094 President Biden will ultimately test positive for COVID. 109 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:57,097 But I do think it's important to note that, you know, it is 110 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,299 possible he will test positive for COVID at some point. 111 00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:01,468 You know, the president is certainly living his life. 112 00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:02,903 -Ooh, you hear that? -(audience laughter) 113 00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:06,039 The president's certainly living his life! (laughs) 114 00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:07,641 I understand what she meant, but the way she made it sound, 115 00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,676 it's like, "Oh, yeah, he's getting kissed by Pelosi. 116 00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:12,045 "Oh, yeah. He's hitting the clubs. He's calling up 117 00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:14,114 "Madison Cawthorn being like, 'Where's that orgy, boy?' 118 00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:15,883 -Tell me where that orgy is!'" -(laughter) 119 00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:18,519 You can relax. It's a safe orgy. Everyone's wearing masks. 120 00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:24,091 But yes, but yes, COVID is ripping through Washington, D.C. 121 00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:27,094 right now. And you know what? It's just nice to see capital 122 00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:28,695 being overrun with something that doesn't 123 00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:32,099 smear feces in Nancy Pelosi's office. This is a nice change. 124 00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:35,102 It's respectable, COVID. And the good news is that no one has 125 00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:37,171 gotten very sick. I think that's the main thing, you know? 126 00:05:37,271 --> 00:05:39,339 Which is a big difference between now and the beginning 127 00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:40,774 of the pandemic. 128 00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:42,509 Yeah, the other difference is that now when COVID sweeps 129 00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:44,244 through a house full of old people, 130 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,712 Andrew Cuomo isn't there to cover it up. 131 00:05:45,812 --> 00:05:49,449 So this is a good change. We're moving forward. 132 00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,285 And this just shows that, unfortunately, we cannot 133 00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:54,087 let our guard down when it comes to COVID, people. All right? 134 00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:56,823 The vaccine is one of the best defenses you have, and I hope 135 00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:58,892 each and every one of you in this packed indoor audience 136 00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:02,196 -remembers that, right? Stay safe. Stay safe! -(cheers) 137 00:06:02,296 --> 00:06:05,599 COVID is no joke. 138 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,368 Yeah. In fact, t-tell the person next to you-- 139 00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:10,337 pull down your mask, so they can hear you clearly-- Yeah. 140 00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:13,407 Tell them: "Stay safe!" "Stay safe!" 141 00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:16,043 (laughs) 142 00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:18,045 Also, I shouldn't have to say this, but why are we 143 00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:21,081 kissing our co-workers? What are we doing? 144 00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:24,051 It's not necessary, all right? Not now, not ever. 145 00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:27,821 In the history of jobs, no one has ever needed a kiss 146 00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:30,424 from their co-worker. All right? 147 00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:32,826 No one, no one is sitting in the office, like, 148 00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:36,897 "I work so hard, but my boss won't even smoosh his wet lips 149 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:40,334 "against mine cheek! This place is toxic! Why won't he kiss me? 150 00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:42,202 "He said, 'Bring me the report', and I brought it, and then 151 00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:46,473 "was just like, 'Thank you.' Where's the kiss? Mleh." 152 00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:51,178 All right, let's move on to some big entertainment news. 153 00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:55,816 It's now been two weeks since the craziest Oscars moment 154 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:59,686 in living memory. And yeah, I'm talking about the fact that 155 00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:02,389 House of Gucci didn't win Best Hair and Makeup. 156 00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:06,493 The whole movie was hair and makeup! How did they not win?! 157 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:07,895 That was truly the craziest thing that happened 158 00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:10,163 at the Oscars. Yeah-- Oh! I almost forgot. 159 00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:12,633 There was also the moment where Will Smith introduced his hand 160 00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:15,602 to Chris Rock's face, which had everyone asking: 161 00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:18,372 How will the Academy Awards punish Will Smith? 162 00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:20,507 Well, now we're finding out. 163 00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,910 It was the slap heard 'round the world, 164 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:25,546 and after slapping Chris Rock during the Oscars, 165 00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:28,715 actor Will Smith has been banned from attending any 166 00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:30,851 Academy events for the next decade. 167 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,753 NEWSWOMAN: The Academy issued a statement yesterday 168 00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:34,755 saying this in part: 169 00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:37,191 "The 94th Oscars were meant to be a celebration 170 00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:39,159 "of the many individuals in our community 171 00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:41,195 "who did incredible work this past year. 172 00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:43,697 "However, those moments were overshadowed 173 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,966 "by the unacceptable and harmful behavior 174 00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:48,168 we saw Mr. Smith exhibit onstage." 175 00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,404 NEWSMAN: The board's move will keep Smith from attending, 176 00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:53,073 presenting or performing at the Oscars. 177 00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:55,142 It won't bar him from being nominated 178 00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:57,945 or even winning an Academy Award in the future, 179 00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,514 and he gets to keep the one he has now. 180 00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:03,483 Damn, Will Smith has been banned from the Oscars 181 00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:06,086 for ten years. 182 00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:07,921 Ten years. 183 00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,256 You realize by then, 184 00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:11,158 I Am Legend is just gonna be real life. 185 00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:13,227 (laughter and applause) 186 00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:16,864 Although, I will say this. I will say this. 187 00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:18,498 When I first read the headline, 188 00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,267 I thought this was the worst punishment ever. 189 00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,135 I was like, "Ten years. The Oscars, you're ridiculous." 190 00:08:22,236 --> 00:08:23,937 But then, I won't lie. I got into the details, 191 00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:25,572 and I realized he gets to keep his Oscar, 192 00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:28,408 and he can still win Oscars even though he's banned. 193 00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:30,811 So, in many ways, this isn't a punishment. 194 00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:33,146 Yeah, this is a favor. 195 00:08:33,247 --> 00:08:35,749 Will Smith doesn't have to go to the ceremony. 196 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,551 Yeah. He doesn't have to get dressed up. 197 00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:39,486 He doesn't have sit through a bunch of boring awards 198 00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:40,888 that he doesn't care about. 199 00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:43,724 "Oh, Best Punctuation in a Digital Recycled Film." 200 00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:45,692 Kill me! 201 00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:48,362 He doesn't have to pretend to be happy when he loses. 202 00:08:48,462 --> 00:08:51,598 I wish I could get banned from the Emmys. 203 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:54,201 I wish! Every year, I have to go 204 00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:56,069 and act like I might beat John Oliver. 205 00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:57,538 It's a nightmare! 206 00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:59,106 Oh, put on my hopeful face. 207 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,308 "Oh, it could be me." It's not gonna be me! 208 00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:02,776 It's not gonna be any of us. 209 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,278 (cheering and applause) 210 00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,413 It's gonna be John Oliver. 211 00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:13,086 I also think they should have at least consulted Chris Rock 212 00:09:13,187 --> 00:09:14,454 before choosing the punishment, you know? 213 00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:17,024 Because if Will was still going to the Oscars, 214 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,358 that's at least four hours 215 00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:19,726 where Chris Rock knows where he is. 216 00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:21,495 Now he could be anywhere. 217 00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:23,230 (laughter) 218 00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:24,731 Honestly, I don't think they should have banned 219 00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:26,333 Will Smith at all. I'll be honest. Yeah. 220 00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:28,802 I actually think they should have hired Will Smith 221 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,771 to replace the "wrap it up" music 222 00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:33,407 that they play at award shows. 223 00:09:33,507 --> 00:09:35,108 Yeah. 224 00:09:35,209 --> 00:09:38,512 Do you know how quickly winners will finish their speeches 225 00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:41,048 when they see Will Smith watching them 226 00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:43,083 from the side of the stage? 227 00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:46,053 "And I just want to thank my agent 228 00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:49,323 "and my publicist and my agent's publicist. 229 00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:50,557 -And I just want to..." -♪ ♪ 230 00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:52,059 "Oh, okay, I'm done! I'm done! I'm done! 231 00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:53,760 "I'm done! I'm done! I'm done! I'm done! 232 00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:55,362 I'm done, I'm done, I'm done!" 233 00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:56,797 The main thing is... The main thing is 234 00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:59,533 we can finally move on and stop talking about the slap. 235 00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:01,969 All right? It's done now. The punishment is doled out. 236 00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:04,638 The man made a mistake. We move on. 237 00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:06,306 Let's move on. 238 00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:07,641 (applause) 239 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,343 Now we can get back to talking about the story 240 00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:11,278 that the slap pushed off the front page, 241 00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:12,946 the war in Ukraine. 242 00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:15,082 Yeah. So, let's move on and talk about that. 243 00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:18,118 As Russian troops retreat from the areas around Kyiv 244 00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:19,653 and other locations in Western Ukraine, 245 00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:22,289 it now appears that Putin will be focusing 246 00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:24,758 on trying to take over just the eastern regions 247 00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:27,261 directly on Russia's border. All right? 248 00:10:27,361 --> 00:10:29,530 And, so, in the latest show of support for Ukraine. 249 00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,398 British Prime Minister Boris Johnson 250 00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:34,134 met with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky 251 00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:36,870 on the streets of war-torn Ukraine. 252 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,972 Yeah, look at that. That's them in Kyiv. 253 00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,807 And, you know, it's crazy that even though he's wearing 254 00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:43,143 a full suit, Boris is somehow the one 255 00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,545 who looks like he's being kept up at night 256 00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:45,879 by Russian bombs. 257 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,415 He's like, "Oh, another one." 258 00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:50,551 (laughter) 259 00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,120 But while the rest of the world is focused 260 00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:55,255 on the Ukrainian victims of Putin's war, 261 00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:57,724 many Russian Instagram influencers, 262 00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:01,128 well, they feel like they're the real victims 263 00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:03,630 of what's happening in Ukraine. 264 00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:06,567 NEWSMAN: Over 600 companies have withdrawn their businesses 265 00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:09,136 from Russia so far, some, like Chanel, 266 00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:12,239 even refusing to sell products to Russians abroad 267 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:15,776 unless they confirm they won't use those products in Russia. 268 00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:18,712 Enraged Russian influencers posted videos 269 00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:21,682 showing them cutting up their Chanel bags in protest. 270 00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,723 ♪ ♪ 271 00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:33,694 (laughter) 272 00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,896 Hey. 273 00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:38,432 Yeah, on the list of people I feel bad for in this world, 274 00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:40,767 Russian influencers is right at the top. 275 00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,603 Definitely at the top for me. 276 00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:44,872 I will say this. I mean, we have seen 277 00:11:44,972 --> 00:11:47,140 that the economic pressure on Russia is having an effect. 278 00:11:47,241 --> 00:11:48,942 You realize, that Instagram model 279 00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:51,111 can't even buy pants anymore. 280 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,980 (laughter) 281 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:55,716 Clearly, the sanctions are working. 282 00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:59,453 You know, I-I'm always confused when people protest companies 283 00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:02,256 by destroying stuff that they already bought. 284 00:12:02,356 --> 00:12:03,857 What are you doing? 285 00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:06,193 What are you doing? "Oh, Chanel, we are going to show you, 286 00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:09,196 as I go to cut my bag. Oh, this is going to..." 287 00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:11,932 You-- Chanel's already got your money! 288 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,300 This doesn't hurt Chanel! 289 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,302 You think when you're cutting up that purse 290 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,771 Coco Chanel is in Monaco on a yacht feeling it 291 00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:19,439 like a designer voodoo doll? Huh? 292 00:12:19,540 --> 00:12:21,308 She's just like, "Oh, they're cutting me! 293 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,644 Oh! I feel it in my heart!" 294 00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:26,914 No! She's just like, "Bring me more champagne. Yes! 295 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,248 "I know I'm dead. I don't care. 296 00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:29,716 Bring me champagne." 297 00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:30,918 All right, that's it for the headlines. 298 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,453 But before we go, let's check in with Roy Wood Jr. 299 00:12:33,554 --> 00:12:35,122 with today's traffic report, everybody! 300 00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:36,590 (cheering and applause) 301 00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:38,358 -Yes. -What's going on in the traffic, Roy? 302 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:39,893 What's going on, man? 303 00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:43,163 Now, we're gonna get ready to take a quick look at the roads. 304 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,665 But, first, let me-- let me just ask you a question 305 00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:47,968 about these-- the-the whole COVID thing in D.C. 306 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,536 -Oh, the Democrats getting COVID? Yeah. -Yeah, they-- 307 00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:52,539 Everybody, they-they just now getting COVID? 308 00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:55,008 -Well, yeah. -Well, they missed the sympathy window. 309 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,777 See, that's the messed up part, man. 310 00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:58,111 Why it take 'em this long to get-- 311 00:12:58,145 --> 00:13:00,047 Everybody know-- you were supposed to get COVID 312 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,815 in that first six, seven months, 313 00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:03,884 and that's when you get thoughts and prayers 314 00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:05,118 and people would care about you. 315 00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:06,386 I call it original recipe, 316 00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,388 like, way back in the day. 317 00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:09,957 And, like, that-that sympathy window, 318 00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:11,558 that's important, man. 319 00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:13,227 You get COVID now, don't nobody give a damn. 320 00:13:13,327 --> 00:13:15,796 That's like... that's like telling people you got dandruff. 321 00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,865 Don't nobody care. 322 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:20,400 Keep the shit off me, and I'll see you tomorrow. 323 00:13:20,501 --> 00:13:21,935 That's... 324 00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:23,604 -that's all it is. -I mean... 325 00:13:23,704 --> 00:13:25,772 -So... -(cheering and applause) 326 00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:27,407 I just don't... 327 00:13:27,508 --> 00:13:29,076 I'm trying to understand it, but I just-- 328 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,245 I just-- I-I don't-- I don't understand it, man. 329 00:13:31,345 --> 00:13:32,546 But the-- And then here's another thing. 330 00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,147 COVID. 331 00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:35,148 The name "COVID"-- 332 00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:36,216 We'll get to that in a second. 333 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,851 Okay. 334 00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:40,287 Part of the problem with all this vaccination shit, man, 335 00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:42,322 is that nobody's scared of the name "COVID." 336 00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:44,758 You control Americans with fear. 337 00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,827 We was done the moment they called it "COVID." 338 00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,462 They should've called it "sky AIDS." 339 00:13:48,562 --> 00:13:51,164 If you called COVID "sky AIDS," 340 00:13:51,265 --> 00:13:52,332 -you're telling me... -Sky AIDS? 341 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,735 Vaccination rate would be 97%. 342 00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:57,337 If-if you knew AIDS was in the air, 343 00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,373 you wouldn't be here right now. 344 00:14:00,474 --> 00:14:02,476 Here's-here's a question. Why is this a job? 345 00:14:02,576 --> 00:14:04,545 -Traffic man. -No, it's... 346 00:14:04,645 --> 00:14:06,747 Why-why am I even here right now? 347 00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,282 Because people like watching the news, 348 00:14:08,382 --> 00:14:10,117 and they like watching the traffic on the news. 349 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:12,186 -That's how it works. -At night? They like the traffic at night? 350 00:14:12,286 --> 00:14:13,754 -That's when they like the traffic? -Yeah, 351 00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:15,289 -they watch the traffic all the time, Roy. -Like, it's traffic. 352 00:14:15,389 --> 00:14:17,591 Like, why-why are you trusting a dude on TV 353 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:18,692 to tell you the traffic? 354 00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:20,594 Bitch, you got a TV in your pocket. 355 00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:23,230 You got a whole telephone in your-- 356 00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:25,499 If you got anything past a iPhone 2, you don't need me. 357 00:14:25,599 --> 00:14:26,500 My job is irrelevant. 358 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,068 Me and Vanna White-- 359 00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:30,537 it's a scam. 360 00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:31,905 It's a scam. 361 00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:33,640 This job is a scam. But if you want to keep paying me... 362 00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:36,243 -Just tell us what the traffic is, Roy! -Hey, hey. Hey. 363 00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:38,078 -I'm-- That's fine. -I'm trying to make a news show here, Roy! 364 00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:39,980 Look, I just don't know-- If you want better traffic, 365 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,982 stay at home. You're a part of the problem 366 00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:43,517 when you leave the house. 367 00:14:43,617 --> 00:14:45,452 You got the-the green. 368 00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:47,120 Look at these people. Look at these people in the green. 369 00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:48,722 See, they happy. They think they're not part of the problem. 370 00:14:48,822 --> 00:14:51,225 Wrong. Bam! And then they hit the red. 371 00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:52,559 And then you got the people up top. 372 00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:54,294 Make them come down. "Oh, no, I'm smart. 373 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,196 I'm-a go this way." Wrong! 374 00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:57,998 Red, bitch. 375 00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:00,067 And I still feel sorry for them people 376 00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:01,401 right there in the center. But you know what? 377 00:15:01,502 --> 00:15:02,936 I feel sorry for the people stuck in traffic more 378 00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:04,938 than I do anybody who finally catching COVID 379 00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:06,940 two and a half years into it. 380 00:15:12,513 --> 00:15:14,414 -We're gonna work on this. Roy Wood Jr., everybody! -I... 381 00:15:14,515 --> 00:15:16,550 (cheering and applause) 382 00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:18,919 And now you know what's happening in the traffic. 383 00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:20,521 All right, when we come back, 384 00:15:20,621 --> 00:15:23,323 we'll be getting judgy with Ketanji Brown Jackson. 385 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,325 And Ben Stiller's still joining us on the show! 386 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,094 You don't want to miss it, people! 387 00:15:27,194 --> 00:15:29,229 (cheering and applause) 388 00:15:36,635 --> 00:15:38,971 (applause and cheering) 389 00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:45,244 Welcome back. 390 00:15:45,344 --> 00:15:49,047 Welcome back to The Daily Show with human beings. 391 00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:51,016 Welcome back, human beings. 392 00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:54,520 Take a seat. Take a seat. Thank you so much. 393 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,189 Let's talk about the Supreme Court, 394 00:15:57,289 --> 00:16:00,759 the only place where wearing a robe makes you more powerful. 395 00:16:00,859 --> 00:16:04,530 The Supreme Court is one of the oldest institutions 396 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:05,998 in American society. 397 00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:08,567 And after 230 years, 398 00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:11,570 it's finally getting a fresh new face. 399 00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:13,405 NEWSWOMAN: Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson 400 00:16:13,505 --> 00:16:16,775 cementing her place in history, becoming the first Black women 401 00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:18,811 to be confirmed to the Supreme Court. 402 00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:23,148 On this vote, the yeas are 53, the nays are 47, 403 00:16:23,248 --> 00:16:25,584 and this nomination is confirmed. 404 00:16:25,684 --> 00:16:27,786 (applause and cheering) 405 00:16:27,886 --> 00:16:30,622 NEWSWOMAN: Cheers erupting in the chamber. 406 00:16:30,722 --> 00:16:33,025 Over at the White House, President Biden 407 00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:34,927 watching that final tally come in 408 00:16:35,027 --> 00:16:36,428 with the judge by his side. 409 00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:41,099 Yeah. 410 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,001 (both laugh) 411 00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:47,473 -(laughter) -Oh, wow. He didn't know his... 412 00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:50,142 "Oh, wow. Oh..." 413 00:16:50,242 --> 00:16:51,710 This is exciting, people. 414 00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:55,814 Finally, a Black women will be on the Supreme Court. 415 00:16:55,914 --> 00:16:59,718 -(applause and cheering) -Wow. Wow. 416 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:04,723 And this is happening just in time for the court 417 00:17:04,756 --> 00:17:06,892 to eliminate all rights for Black people and women. 418 00:17:06,992 --> 00:17:09,528 What a moment. No, this is really incredible, man. 419 00:17:09,628 --> 00:17:12,564 Think about it. She will now be the most powerful Black woman 420 00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:15,534 in the country to have her opinions entirely dismissed 421 00:17:15,634 --> 00:17:18,904 by two thirds of her co-workers. Wow! This is huge. 422 00:17:19,004 --> 00:17:20,873 And by the way, for anyone who wondered 423 00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:23,342 how much of an impact Ketanji Brown Jackson would have, 424 00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:27,646 well, she made history from the moment she was confirmed. 425 00:17:27,746 --> 00:17:30,616 NEWSWOMAN: As Democrats rose to their feet with applause, 426 00:17:30,749 --> 00:17:32,584 Republicans headed for the door. 427 00:17:32,751 --> 00:17:36,221 Mitt Romney of Utah, one of three Republicans to vote "yes," 428 00:17:36,321 --> 00:17:39,591 standing alone, the only GOP Senator clapping. 429 00:17:39,691 --> 00:17:43,595 -Really? Really? -(audience booing) 430 00:17:43,695 --> 00:17:47,699 You know what? First of all, kudos to Mitt Romney. 431 00:17:47,766 --> 00:17:49,701 (applause and cheering) 432 00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:51,837 Yeah, man. 433 00:17:51,937 --> 00:17:54,106 This is, like, 434 00:17:54,206 --> 00:17:56,542 just decorum, you know? 435 00:17:56,708 --> 00:17:58,544 All those other assholes-- think about it. 436 00:17:58,710 --> 00:18:02,314 The first Black woman since this country was founded 437 00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,449 gets confirmed to the Supreme Court, 438 00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:07,753 and you can't find it in you to stay and clap? 439 00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:11,557 Jus-Just clap. Even like a, like, a... 440 00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:13,425 Yeah, I'm not saying you got to throw your panties on the stage 441 00:18:13,525 --> 00:18:16,829 or anything. Just show some respect. 442 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,932 J-Just some respect. Those Republicans ran out of the room 443 00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:22,568 like someone was handing out free N-Word passes in the lobby. 444 00:18:22,734 --> 00:18:24,036 "Oh, boy, oh, boy! 445 00:18:24,136 --> 00:18:28,373 I've always wanted to say that word! Oh, boy! In public." 446 00:18:31,376 --> 00:18:33,612 Why would you leave? No one ever leaves. Doesn't matter whether 447 00:18:33,745 --> 00:18:35,547 they like the person or not-- why would you leave? 448 00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:37,749 The first Black woman, and that's when you're gonna leave? 449 00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:40,285 I mean, luckily, luckily the Republican hissy fit couldn't 450 00:18:40,385 --> 00:18:42,821 spoil this historic moment. You know? Because it's not 451 00:18:42,921 --> 00:18:45,824 every day that a Black person in America gets sent to a court 452 00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:48,694 they actually deserve to be in. And on Friday, 453 00:18:48,727 --> 00:18:52,231 K.B.J.-- she took her victory lap at the White House. 454 00:18:52,331 --> 00:18:55,234 ANCHOR: Tonight, celebrating history on the High Court. 455 00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:56,802 Judge Ketanji Brown-Jackson 456 00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:59,438 at a moment centuries in the making. 457 00:18:59,538 --> 00:19:02,708 It has taken 232 years 458 00:19:02,774 --> 00:19:06,545 and 115 prior appointments 459 00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:09,515 for a Black woman to be selected 460 00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:12,718 to serve on the Supreme Court of the United States. 461 00:19:12,784 --> 00:19:13,952 (cheering and applause) 462 00:19:14,052 --> 00:19:15,721 But we've made it. 463 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,489 NEWSMAN: Jackson, a historymaker 464 00:19:17,589 --> 00:19:18,924 and a barrier breaker, 465 00:19:19,024 --> 00:19:21,860 reciting the poetic words of Maya Angelou. 466 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:25,731 "I am the dream and the hope of the slave." 467 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:28,267 NEWSMAN: And casting this as a moment 468 00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:31,336 in which all Americans can take great pride. 469 00:19:31,436 --> 00:19:33,472 We have come a long way 470 00:19:33,572 --> 00:19:36,742 toward perfecting our union. 471 00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:40,245 In my family, it took just one generation 472 00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:42,114 to go from segregation 473 00:19:42,214 --> 00:19:45,551 to the Supreme Court of the United States. 474 00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:47,252 Ooh! 475 00:19:47,352 --> 00:19:49,288 (cheering and applause) 476 00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:50,756 What? 477 00:19:53,492 --> 00:19:57,496 "From segregation to the Supreme Court." 478 00:19:57,596 --> 00:20:00,165 Ooh! That was a line. 479 00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:02,301 I almost feel like if you're a Black person who succeeds, 480 00:20:02,401 --> 00:20:04,336 you've got double the pressure on you, you know? 481 00:20:04,436 --> 00:20:06,572 Yeah, 'cause you-you don't just have to perform. 482 00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:07,973 You've also got to come up with dope lines 483 00:20:08,073 --> 00:20:09,374 when you get the job. 484 00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:11,510 "From segregation to the Supreme Court." 485 00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:14,079 What? Ooh! That was powerful. 486 00:20:14,179 --> 00:20:15,714 And that quote from Maya Angelou? 487 00:20:15,814 --> 00:20:18,283 All of it was fire. I mean, especially when you consider 488 00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,118 Brett Kavanaugh's celebration where he just quoted 489 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,120 the words of Captain Morgan. 490 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,057 And, by the way, by the way, props to President Biden 491 00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:27,359 for rocking those aviators during that speech. 492 00:20:27,459 --> 00:20:29,928 Yeah, way to make a historic moment 493 00:20:30,028 --> 00:20:33,232 look like a deleted scene from Top Gun, Mr. President. 494 00:20:33,332 --> 00:20:35,067 You know Biden only breaks those out 495 00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:37,436 when he's feeling his swagger. He's just like, "Oh, yeah." 496 00:20:37,536 --> 00:20:39,071 Or when his eyes are bleeding again. 497 00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:40,839 You never know which one it is. You never know. 498 00:20:40,939 --> 00:20:42,374 -(audience groans) -Anyway... 499 00:20:42,474 --> 00:20:44,109 I didn't make his eye bleed! 500 00:20:44,209 --> 00:20:46,512 (laughter and applause) 501 00:20:46,678 --> 00:20:49,581 Anyway, for more on the historic nomination 502 00:20:49,681 --> 00:20:51,817 of Ketanji Brown Jackson, let's turn now 503 00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,786 to our Supreme Court expert, Dulcé Sloan, everybody. 504 00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:56,788 (cheering and applause) 505 00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:58,690 Hello! 506 00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:00,592 -Dulcé... -Hello. 507 00:21:00,692 --> 00:21:02,327 Dulcé, I... 508 00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:04,830 I know you're at the Supreme Court right now. 509 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,933 How are you feeling about this historic news? 510 00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:10,002 Mm, fine, I guess. 511 00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,137 (laughter) 512 00:21:15,574 --> 00:21:17,776 Oh, wait, wait, that... That's it? 513 00:21:17,876 --> 00:21:19,578 You're feeling fine? 514 00:21:19,711 --> 00:21:21,446 Trevor, I'm devastated! 515 00:21:21,547 --> 00:21:22,848 (exhales) Now, listen, 516 00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:24,783 I know homegirl earned this, 517 00:21:24,883 --> 00:21:27,019 but deep down, I was hoping 518 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,588 I would become the first Black woman 519 00:21:29,721 --> 00:21:31,757 on the Supreme Court. 520 00:21:31,857 --> 00:21:33,091 (laughter) 521 00:21:33,192 --> 00:21:34,593 Well, no offense, Dulcé, 522 00:21:34,726 --> 00:21:36,662 but why would you be qualified 523 00:21:36,695 --> 00:21:38,463 to be a judge on the Supreme Court? 524 00:21:38,564 --> 00:21:40,966 Oh, I'm not qualified? 525 00:21:41,066 --> 00:21:43,836 I've been judging people my whole life! 526 00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:47,439 Okay? Family. Friends. 527 00:21:47,539 --> 00:21:49,174 Strangers. Dogs. 528 00:21:49,274 --> 00:21:50,342 What? 529 00:21:50,442 --> 00:21:52,144 Y'all know I don't mess with dogs. 530 00:21:52,244 --> 00:21:53,846 I'm judging everybody. 531 00:21:53,946 --> 00:21:56,348 I'm judging people who ask for directions, 532 00:21:56,448 --> 00:21:58,750 people who can't use chopsticks. 533 00:22:00,285 --> 00:22:01,787 People who can't calculate a tip. 534 00:22:01,887 --> 00:22:05,023 You just move the decimal point one time! It's not that hard! 535 00:22:05,123 --> 00:22:07,159 (applause) 536 00:22:11,697 --> 00:22:14,199 I judge bitches who wear kitten heels. 537 00:22:14,299 --> 00:22:17,469 Wait. I'm sorry, what's wrong with kitten heels? 538 00:22:17,569 --> 00:22:21,473 It's either a heel or a flat, okay? 539 00:22:21,573 --> 00:22:23,408 A tiny heel means you're unstable 540 00:22:23,509 --> 00:22:25,844 and you can't make up your mind. 541 00:22:25,944 --> 00:22:28,113 The point is I have been preparing for this job 542 00:22:28,213 --> 00:22:29,848 since I came out the womb, okay? 543 00:22:29,948 --> 00:22:31,550 Well-well, Dulcé, I'll be honest, 544 00:22:31,717 --> 00:22:33,919 I-I had no idea you were so invested 545 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:35,554 in getting on the Supreme Court. 546 00:22:35,654 --> 00:22:37,022 Yeah. I know you weren't, 547 00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:38,957 and I'm judging you for that. 548 00:22:39,057 --> 00:22:40,659 Well, look. No, no, no. No, no. 549 00:22:40,726 --> 00:22:42,194 I know you're disappointed. I know you're disappointed. 550 00:22:42,294 --> 00:22:46,431 But Ketanji Brown Jackson is one of the most qualified candidates 551 00:22:46,532 --> 00:22:48,167 in the history of the process. 552 00:22:48,267 --> 00:22:49,368 Of course she is. 553 00:22:49,468 --> 00:22:51,770 She had to be. Okay? 554 00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:55,174 She's a Black woman named Ketanji. 555 00:22:55,274 --> 00:22:56,842 She's had to break glass ceilings 556 00:22:56,942 --> 00:23:00,779 and teach white people how to say her name from day one. 557 00:23:00,879 --> 00:23:03,682 Look, I don't want to come across as a hater. 558 00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:06,051 If it couldn't be me, I'm glad it's her. 559 00:23:06,151 --> 00:23:07,319 Well, that's very big of you, Dulcé. 560 00:23:07,419 --> 00:23:09,788 Plus, there's still hope for you, too. 561 00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:11,190 'Cause, I mean, 562 00:23:11,290 --> 00:23:14,693 I think you'd make a great second female Black justice. 563 00:23:14,793 --> 00:23:15,828 Second? 564 00:23:15,928 --> 00:23:17,129 What? No! 565 00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:19,498 Nobody cares about the person who's second, okay? 566 00:23:19,598 --> 00:23:21,733 That's not a Black history fact. 567 00:23:23,068 --> 00:23:25,270 See, if I can't be the first Black female judge 568 00:23:25,370 --> 00:23:27,473 on the Supreme Court, I'm not interested. 569 00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:29,308 So now I have a new goal-- 570 00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:32,177 to be the first Black female judge on Judge Judy. 571 00:23:32,277 --> 00:23:34,313 (cheering and applause) 572 00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:36,915 W-Wait, no. 573 00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:40,652 No, I... I think only Judge Judy 574 00:23:40,719 --> 00:23:42,955 can be the judge on Judge Judy. 575 00:23:44,156 --> 00:23:46,692 Why? 'Cause she's white? 576 00:23:46,792 --> 00:23:47,826 No, beca-- 577 00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:49,094 Y-You know what, Dulcé, chase your dream. 578 00:23:49,194 --> 00:23:50,796 You chase-- Dulcé Sloan, everybody! 579 00:23:50,896 --> 00:23:52,664 -(cheering and applause) -You'll do it! 580 00:23:52,764 --> 00:23:53,932 The future Judge Judy. 581 00:23:54,032 --> 00:23:55,534 All right, when we come back, 582 00:23:55,667 --> 00:23:57,970 Ben Stiller is joining me here, 583 00:23:58,070 --> 00:24:00,272 so don't go away. 584 00:24:00,372 --> 00:24:02,808 Dulcé Sloan, everybody! 585 00:24:10,015 --> 00:24:12,017 -(applause and cheering) -Welcome back to The Daily Show 586 00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:13,718 with human beings. 587 00:24:13,819 --> 00:24:17,055 They're all human. They're all here. 588 00:24:17,155 --> 00:24:19,958 My guest tonight, my guest tonight 589 00:24:20,058 --> 00:24:24,796 is Emmy Award-winning director, producer and actor Ben Stiller. 590 00:24:24,896 --> 00:24:26,131 He's here to talk 591 00:24:26,231 --> 00:24:29,534 about his thrilling hit series Severance. 592 00:24:29,634 --> 00:24:31,937 So, it's tomorrow now? 593 00:24:32,037 --> 00:24:35,707 Uh, yeah. Well, it's Monday. 594 00:24:35,807 --> 00:24:37,676 -A weekend just happened. -Yeah. 595 00:24:37,776 --> 00:24:39,177 I don't even feel like I left. 596 00:24:39,277 --> 00:24:42,647 Yeah. That's how nights and weekends feel here. 597 00:24:42,748 --> 00:24:45,217 -Like nothing? -Well, you get used to it. 598 00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:47,919 I mean, I find it helps to focus on the effects of sleep 599 00:24:48,019 --> 00:24:50,255 since we don't actually get to experience it. 600 00:24:50,355 --> 00:24:53,692 You may feel rejuvenated or happy, 601 00:24:53,792 --> 00:24:56,962 less tense in the shoulders, spry. 602 00:24:58,830 --> 00:25:00,665 So it's 9:05. 603 00:25:00,766 --> 00:25:02,434 Yeah, they stagger the entries, too, 604 00:25:02,534 --> 00:25:03,902 so we don't meet on the outside. 605 00:25:04,002 --> 00:25:05,370 It's important, apparently. 606 00:25:05,470 --> 00:25:07,372 Please welcome Ben Stiller. 607 00:25:07,472 --> 00:25:09,941 -(applause and cheering) -♪ ♪ 608 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:17,149 I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. Yeah. 609 00:25:17,249 --> 00:25:20,152 Oh, man. Oh. 610 00:25:20,252 --> 00:25:23,021 -Oh, man, you-you okay? -Thank you. 611 00:25:23,121 --> 00:25:26,291 -You okay? -I'm good. 612 00:25:26,391 --> 00:25:28,527 -Are you good? You okay? -I'm good. 613 00:25:28,627 --> 00:25:30,662 (applause and cheering swelling) 614 00:25:32,731 --> 00:25:36,735 Thank you. Thank you. 615 00:25:37,736 --> 00:25:40,439 -That's good. -You, uh, you good? 616 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:42,207 Yeah. You'll-you'll edit that out, right? 617 00:25:42,307 --> 00:25:43,975 -I'll edit it out. We'll do another one. -Great. Cool. 618 00:25:44,075 --> 00:25:46,144 -No one will know... -Great. Great. 619 00:25:46,244 --> 00:25:47,679 ...that you fell. No one will know. 620 00:25:47,779 --> 00:25:50,615 -Ben Stiller, welcome to The Daily Show. -How are you? 621 00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:52,050 This is so good to see. It's been so long 622 00:25:52,150 --> 00:25:53,785 since I've seen you in person. 623 00:25:53,885 --> 00:25:56,254 Um, it was maybe four years ago. 624 00:25:56,354 --> 00:25:57,389 It feels like 40 years ago. 625 00:25:57,489 --> 00:25:58,757 It feels like a million years ago. 626 00:25:58,857 --> 00:26:00,258 It just feels like everything 627 00:26:00,358 --> 00:26:02,561 feels like a long time ago, yet, it also just happened. 628 00:26:02,661 --> 00:26:04,129 -Right? -It's really weird. 629 00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:07,099 And you were talking in between a little bit about the weirdness 630 00:26:07,199 --> 00:26:09,534 with how we're approaching COVID and where we are in COVID. 631 00:26:09,634 --> 00:26:11,970 -Yes. -And you were so spot on with it. 632 00:26:12,070 --> 00:26:13,805 Just, it's just so unclear what's happening. 633 00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:15,807 -Yeah, we're just... we're just floating. We're float... -Yeah. 634 00:26:15,907 --> 00:26:19,444 You know, I-I know that you didn't make this show 635 00:26:19,544 --> 00:26:22,547 based on COVID, but really, for those who haven't watched it-- 636 00:26:22,647 --> 00:26:24,149 and I don't say this lightly, 'cause I know 637 00:26:24,249 --> 00:26:26,852 people have time constraints in their lives-- watch this show. 638 00:26:26,952 --> 00:26:29,688 I promise it is one of the best shows you will watch. 639 00:26:29,788 --> 00:26:31,089 -Severance is amazing. Congratulations. -Thank you. 640 00:26:31,189 --> 00:26:32,891 -Thanks, man. Thank you. Thank you. -Congratulations. 641 00:26:32,991 --> 00:26:34,693 (applause and cheering) 642 00:26:34,793 --> 00:26:38,730 -Well, let's-let's start with that. Like... -Yeah. 643 00:26:38,830 --> 00:26:40,832 T-This new, uh, Ben Stiller, you know? 644 00:26:40,932 --> 00:26:43,301 Like the, like the moody director. It's very, uh... 645 00:26:43,401 --> 00:26:44,836 -(laughing) -I like this! I-- No! 646 00:26:44,936 --> 00:26:47,139 I d-I didn't see this in you, like, as a person, you know? 647 00:26:47,239 --> 00:26:48,874 You always, you always think of Ben Stiller the comedian... 648 00:26:48,974 --> 00:26:50,408 -Right. -Ben Stiller doing, like, the funniest movies 649 00:26:50,509 --> 00:26:51,777 -you've ever seen, but this is... -Yeah. My-my-my inner 650 00:26:51,877 --> 00:26:55,547 circle knows me as the moody Ben Stiller. (laughter) 651 00:26:55,647 --> 00:26:59,651 No, I mean, you know, it's been really fun to direct and not act 652 00:26:59,751 --> 00:27:01,920 and I love... I've always wanted to direct, since I was a kid. 653 00:27:02,020 --> 00:27:03,855 -Oh, okay. -You know, since I was, like ten years old and-- 654 00:27:03,955 --> 00:27:06,291 And I've been doing it over the years and usually acting, also, 655 00:27:06,391 --> 00:27:08,293 but this has been really fun the last few years. 656 00:27:08,393 --> 00:27:10,395 And I just loved this piece of material. 657 00:27:10,495 --> 00:27:13,498 This script that Dan Erickson wrote. He had not had anything 658 00:27:13,598 --> 00:27:15,667 -produced up to this point... -I find that hard to believe. 659 00:27:15,767 --> 00:27:18,136 Yeah! I know. He's a-a brilliant writer who was trying to 660 00:27:18,236 --> 00:27:21,273 get his work seen, and-- You know, out there, and, uh, 661 00:27:21,373 --> 00:27:24,042 someone in our company saw it and I read it, I thought it was 662 00:27:24,142 --> 00:27:26,378 amazing, and that was five years ago. It took a little while 663 00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:27,946 -to get it to the screen, but... -Right. Right, right. 664 00:27:28,046 --> 00:27:31,083 It's been really fun. And we made it totally during-- 665 00:27:31,183 --> 00:27:33,718 you know, in a bubble during the pandemic, really. 666 00:27:33,819 --> 00:27:36,421 So, so we were about to start shooting, six weeks-- We were 667 00:27:36,521 --> 00:27:38,723 six weeks from shooting when the pandemic hit, and then... 668 00:27:38,824 --> 00:27:41,226 and then we stopped for a second, but it's been very much 669 00:27:41,326 --> 00:27:43,361 insular, and then now, to have it out in the world 670 00:27:43,462 --> 00:27:45,997 all of a sudden, and to have to have people interact with it, 671 00:27:46,098 --> 00:27:48,166 It's been so satisfying. But it felt for a long time we were 672 00:27:48,266 --> 00:27:49,801 just doing this for ourselves. Like, we-- it was... 673 00:27:49,901 --> 00:27:51,803 I feel like everything felt like that during the pandemic. 674 00:27:51,903 --> 00:27:53,238 -Yeah. -There were moments when I was making The Daily Show 675 00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:55,574 where I was just, like, "Is anybody anywhere?" 676 00:27:55,674 --> 00:27:57,776 No, because, like, the home work felt, at some point, 677 00:27:57,876 --> 00:27:59,211 it was just, like, you. You wake up and do the thing, you do 678 00:27:59,311 --> 00:28:01,046 -it again. It's, it's in a bubble. You know? -Right. Right. 679 00:28:01,146 --> 00:28:03,715 And-and you're doing comedy where you're talking and 680 00:28:03,815 --> 00:28:05,450 making jokes, and there's nobody in the room, right? 681 00:28:05,550 --> 00:28:07,486 -Yeah. Nothing. -Yeah. And how could you tell 682 00:28:07,586 --> 00:28:10,021 -if you were funny? -I couldn't. 683 00:28:10,122 --> 00:28:11,690 You just, you just, you just go, like, I just became 684 00:28:11,790 --> 00:28:13,558 -a crazy person. -But don't you think it might have made you 685 00:28:13,658 --> 00:28:16,161 funnier? Because you kind of didn't care? You could just... 686 00:28:16,261 --> 00:28:18,730 M-M-Maybe. Maybe, in, like a way that I'll go to therapy for. 687 00:28:18,830 --> 00:28:20,632 -Yeah. Yeah, definitely. -Right. Understandable. 688 00:28:20,732 --> 00:28:23,602 No, I get-- I wonder if COVID affected the show. Because-- 689 00:28:23,702 --> 00:28:25,637 I don't want to spoil it for anybody who hasn't watched it, 690 00:28:25,737 --> 00:28:27,439 but I-I will tell you something you'll learn quickly, and that 691 00:28:27,539 --> 00:28:32,344 is: It's a show where people have found a way to "sever" 692 00:28:32,444 --> 00:28:35,547 their world and their memories from their work world and 693 00:28:35,647 --> 00:28:37,949 -their memories. So basically, the people go to work... -Yup. 694 00:28:38,049 --> 00:28:40,285 ...and they don't remember anything that happened at work. 695 00:28:40,385 --> 00:28:42,087 And when they're at work, they don't remember 696 00:28:42,187 --> 00:28:43,989 anything that happens in life. 697 00:28:44,089 --> 00:28:45,157 -That's right. -And when you're watching, 698 00:28:45,257 --> 00:28:46,725 it felt COVID-y. 699 00:28:46,825 --> 00:28:48,493 It felt like a... Do you know what I mean? 700 00:28:48,593 --> 00:28:50,395 It's almost feels like it's the perfect show for the time. 701 00:28:50,495 --> 00:28:51,963 Yeah, and it felt... it felt like that 702 00:28:52,063 --> 00:28:53,632 when we were making it, also, 'cause we were shooting 703 00:28:53,732 --> 00:28:55,867 at this stage in the Bronx, actually. 704 00:28:55,967 --> 00:28:57,836 And we would go there, 705 00:28:57,936 --> 00:28:59,271 and we'd go into the testing tent, 706 00:28:59,371 --> 00:29:01,606 -which felt very postapocalyptic. -Uh-huh. 707 00:29:01,706 --> 00:29:02,874 And then we'd walk into the studio, 708 00:29:02,974 --> 00:29:04,342 and it was a five-minute walk 709 00:29:04,443 --> 00:29:06,211 -down these white hallways. -That's hilarious. 710 00:29:06,311 --> 00:29:07,879 -So you were doing the thing. -To get to the studio. 711 00:29:07,979 --> 00:29:09,281 -Yeah. -And then we get to the studio, 712 00:29:09,381 --> 00:29:11,316 and the set was white hallways that we'd walk down. 713 00:29:11,416 --> 00:29:13,518 So, it was... And then we'd leave at night, 714 00:29:13,618 --> 00:29:14,686 and nobody would see each other, 715 00:29:14,786 --> 00:29:15,987 and then we'd come back and test. 716 00:29:16,088 --> 00:29:17,255 It was... It was so weird. 717 00:29:17,355 --> 00:29:19,191 -It's beautiful, I will say that. -Thanks, man. 718 00:29:19,291 --> 00:29:20,959 -Yeah, well, we had a great crew of people. -Every-every shot 719 00:29:21,059 --> 00:29:23,061 that you have feels intentional. 720 00:29:23,161 --> 00:29:24,496 You know, sometimes you'll watch a show, 721 00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:26,665 and the show is great. Maybe the cast is great. 722 00:29:26,765 --> 00:29:28,100 Maybe it's terrible, as well. Whatever. 723 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,435 But sometimes you watch a show like this 724 00:29:30,535 --> 00:29:32,938 where the cast is amazing, you know, 725 00:29:33,038 --> 00:29:34,973 the-the setting is phenomenal, 726 00:29:35,073 --> 00:29:37,742 but the way you shoot it feels really intentional. 727 00:29:37,843 --> 00:29:39,778 Like, you'll hold some shots for a long... 728 00:29:39,878 --> 00:29:41,980 Sometimes it feels like you want us 729 00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:43,548 to feel a certain kind of way. 730 00:29:43,648 --> 00:29:45,617 Like, have you ever worked in a shitty office? 731 00:29:45,717 --> 00:29:46,985 -That's what I wondered. -I... 732 00:29:47,085 --> 00:29:49,855 You know, I have... I have worked as an intern. 733 00:29:49,955 --> 00:29:52,758 The worst job I had was... Actually, it wasn't that bad. 734 00:29:52,858 --> 00:29:55,293 I was a talent intern on a talk show. 735 00:29:55,393 --> 00:29:56,828 -So I... -Oh, that's-that's bad 736 00:29:56,928 --> 00:29:58,296 -depending on the talent. -Yeah. 737 00:29:58,396 --> 00:30:01,266 So, I had to take care of the stars who would come in. 738 00:30:01,366 --> 00:30:03,235 This was when I was in college in California 739 00:30:03,335 --> 00:30:04,469 on a show called Thicke of the Night. 740 00:30:04,569 --> 00:30:05,937 Alan Thicke had a talk show. 741 00:30:06,037 --> 00:30:08,406 And, um, so I'd, like, walk Charlton Heston to his car. 742 00:30:08,507 --> 00:30:11,810 -Wow. -Yeah. Or I'd lend Rick Ducommun, the comedian, 743 00:30:11,910 --> 00:30:14,079 20 bucks and then never get it back. 744 00:30:14,179 --> 00:30:16,047 -Um... -(laughter) 745 00:30:16,148 --> 00:30:17,416 So, and that's the clo... 746 00:30:17,516 --> 00:30:18,617 I mean, I worked in a camera store, 747 00:30:18,717 --> 00:30:19,818 but I never worked in that office... 748 00:30:19,918 --> 00:30:21,219 Sort of, like, that drudgery of... 749 00:30:21,319 --> 00:30:22,988 -You... -It's mo... mainly from watching television. 750 00:30:23,088 --> 00:30:25,223 -You capture it. Like, it feels like cubicles... -Yeah. 751 00:30:25,323 --> 00:30:27,426 I think Dan... Dan, the writer, did that. 752 00:30:27,526 --> 00:30:29,194 -Oh, okay. Right. -He worked many of those jobs, 753 00:30:29,294 --> 00:30:32,097 and he took his frustration, and he put it all into his work. 754 00:30:32,197 --> 00:30:33,298 -You feel it. -Yeah, yeah. 755 00:30:33,398 --> 00:30:34,666 That's what you... When you watch the show, 756 00:30:34,766 --> 00:30:36,268 you go like, "Oh, yeah, this reminds me of it." 757 00:30:36,368 --> 00:30:38,870 'Cause I... Like, my mom worked most of her life in an office, 758 00:30:38,970 --> 00:30:41,440 and then she couldn't afford, like, childcare or whatever, 759 00:30:41,540 --> 00:30:43,275 so she'd put me under the desk like a puppy. 760 00:30:43,375 --> 00:30:45,010 -Right. -And then... No, I'd come back from school, 761 00:30:45,110 --> 00:30:46,745 and then I'd be, like, under the desk. It was great. 762 00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:48,246 Don't worry about me. It's not like I was struggling. 763 00:30:48,346 --> 00:30:49,614 -I was having a great time. -Yeah. 764 00:30:49,714 --> 00:30:51,483 But I just remember, like, watching everyone 765 00:30:51,583 --> 00:30:52,884 in those cubicles, and I was like, 766 00:30:52,984 --> 00:30:54,820 "This is... Is this life? Is this..." 767 00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:56,755 -Right. -And the way you-you captured... 768 00:30:56,855 --> 00:30:58,657 What... I would love to know 769 00:30:58,757 --> 00:31:01,393 what you're trying to make us feel as the audience. 770 00:31:01,493 --> 00:31:04,663 Well, you know, for me, it's honestly, these characters 771 00:31:04,763 --> 00:31:06,064 are human beings who are put 772 00:31:06,164 --> 00:31:08,600 -in this really weird, abnormal situation. -Mm-hmm. 773 00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:10,602 And it's kind of like any-- 774 00:31:10,702 --> 00:31:13,338 You know, I-I did a prison, uh, show before this, 775 00:31:13,438 --> 00:31:15,640 and it's kind of similar in that people are gonna be 776 00:31:15,740 --> 00:31:17,042 human beings, no matter what-- 777 00:31:17,142 --> 00:31:18,477 -you know, what environment you're in. -That's true. 778 00:31:18,577 --> 00:31:20,579 So there's a humanity to these characters 779 00:31:20,679 --> 00:31:22,114 who don't know who they are, 780 00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:23,515 -don't know... Yeah. -They start developing their humanity, 781 00:31:23,615 --> 00:31:25,117 -in fact. Yeah. -Exactly. They're almost like children. 782 00:31:25,217 --> 00:31:28,253 Because they've only been cognizant for a few years. 783 00:31:28,353 --> 00:31:30,188 So they're trying to figure out who they are. 784 00:31:30,288 --> 00:31:31,456 And I think that's really interesting. 785 00:31:31,556 --> 00:31:33,992 Also, the idea of, like, what memories and emotions 786 00:31:34,092 --> 00:31:35,694 can seep through if you're severed. 787 00:31:35,794 --> 00:31:38,363 Because, you know, d-- is-- does love transcend severance? 788 00:31:38,463 --> 00:31:40,132 -Yeah. -Right, right. Do you remember those things? 789 00:31:40,232 --> 00:31:41,900 -Right. -So-so does this mean we've lost you 790 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:43,301 as Ben Stiller the comedy guy? 791 00:31:43,401 --> 00:31:45,403 Um, n-no. No. 792 00:31:45,504 --> 00:31:46,938 -I didn't like that there was an "um." -(stammers) 793 00:31:47,038 --> 00:31:48,740 -No, I was just thinking about how I... -Like, a straight no 794 00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:50,242 -immediately. -You're gonna edit that out, 795 00:31:50,342 --> 00:31:51,743 -when I walk out, right? -Yeah, the falling-- 796 00:31:51,843 --> 00:31:53,845 -no one's gonna see that. No one will see that. -Um, cool. Uh... 797 00:31:53,945 --> 00:31:55,680 You have. There's no more comedy guy. 798 00:31:55,781 --> 00:31:58,817 Um, no, I-I think-- I love acting and I love doing comedy. 799 00:31:58,917 --> 00:32:01,787 It's just been a while since I've actually decided to do it. 800 00:32:01,887 --> 00:32:03,355 I'd love to do it in the future. 801 00:32:03,455 --> 00:32:05,190 It's just kind of figuring out how to, you know... 802 00:32:05,290 --> 00:32:06,725 -how to jump back in. -You know when I felt 803 00:32:06,825 --> 00:32:09,327 like you were in a-- one of your own comedy movies 804 00:32:09,428 --> 00:32:10,862 is when-- there's that clip that went viral 805 00:32:10,962 --> 00:32:13,165 of you with the-the Australian tennis player. 806 00:32:13,265 --> 00:32:14,800 -You're right. -Right? I don't know if you've seen this. 807 00:32:14,900 --> 00:32:16,401 -And people misconstrue what's happening. -Yeah. 808 00:32:16,501 --> 00:32:18,537 'Cause I think he was talking to someone else in the crowd. 809 00:32:18,637 --> 00:32:20,071 It was the weirdest thing. Yeah. 810 00:32:20,172 --> 00:32:22,674 So we were, like, in the front row. It's Indian Wells tennis. 811 00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:25,377 And, um, basically, what happened was, 812 00:32:25,477 --> 00:32:27,546 -uh, it was Nick Kyrgios. He was... -Yes. 813 00:32:27,646 --> 00:32:29,748 -He talks to himself a lot during the matches. -Yes. 814 00:32:29,848 --> 00:32:31,917 And he kept on saying, "Oh, man, get your first serve in. 815 00:32:32,017 --> 00:32:33,752 Get your first serve in." And there was an-- 816 00:32:33,852 --> 00:32:36,288 a gentleman next to me who decided, 817 00:32:36,388 --> 00:32:37,656 when he started to serve, to tell him, 818 00:32:37,756 --> 00:32:39,424 -"Yeah, get your first serve in." -(laughs) 819 00:32:39,524 --> 00:32:41,426 And so Nick Kyrgios, like, turns, he goes, 820 00:32:41,526 --> 00:32:43,628 "What are-- Why-why are you talking to me? 821 00:32:43,728 --> 00:32:45,664 Do you play tennis? Are you a good tennis player?" 822 00:32:45,764 --> 00:32:46,965 And the guy's like, "No." 823 00:32:47,065 --> 00:32:48,567 And then he looks-- he looks at me and he goes, 824 00:32:48,667 --> 00:32:50,735 "Do I tell him how to act?" 825 00:32:51,703 --> 00:32:53,839 And I'm, like... And I didn't even quite hear it, 826 00:32:53,939 --> 00:32:55,140 so I thought he might've been talking to me. 827 00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:57,375 -I didn't-- It was so weird. -(laughs) 828 00:32:57,476 --> 00:32:59,945 And then that was it. And then, apparently, it went viral. 829 00:33:00,045 --> 00:33:02,414 -Yeah. -Oh, no. Everywhere. So-so, some people understood 830 00:33:02,514 --> 00:33:04,750 what was happening, but other-- most people thought 831 00:33:04,850 --> 00:33:06,918 -that you had beef with a tennis player now. -Exactly. 832 00:33:07,018 --> 00:33:08,887 And the thing is, you're just sitting there, like, smiling. 833 00:33:08,987 --> 00:33:10,555 Like, it literally looked like a scene from one of your movies. 834 00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:11,890 I know. And I didn't know what to do. 835 00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:13,658 'Cause everybody's telling me, "Oh, Nick Kyrgios 836 00:33:13,759 --> 00:33:16,928 really let you have it." I'm like, "No. I don't know. 837 00:33:17,028 --> 00:33:18,130 I think he's good." 838 00:33:18,230 --> 00:33:20,832 Oh, man. Um, y-your life has been, 839 00:33:20,932 --> 00:33:22,434 I mean, a constant journey, 840 00:33:22,534 --> 00:33:23,602 that we've shared with you, by the way. 841 00:33:23,702 --> 00:33:25,003 Thank you for everything you've done for it. 842 00:33:25,103 --> 00:33:26,204 -Thank you for making us laugh. -Oh, wow. -(cheering) 843 00:33:26,304 --> 00:33:29,274 You know, thank you for brightening our days. 844 00:33:29,374 --> 00:33:30,575 -Um... -Thank you. 845 00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:32,077 It's a pleasure seeing you. 846 00:33:32,177 --> 00:33:33,745 -Congratulations on an amazing show. -It's great to see you. 847 00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:36,014 Wonderful having you here. Thank you so much for being here. 848 00:33:36,114 --> 00:33:37,549 (cheering and applause) 849 00:33:37,649 --> 00:33:39,818 Season one of Severance is available to stream 850 00:33:39,918 --> 00:33:41,253 on Apple TV+. 851 00:33:41,353 --> 00:33:43,488 I promise you, I promise you you're gonna love it. 852 00:33:43,588 --> 00:33:44,956 All right, we're gonna take a quick break, 853 00:33:45,056 --> 00:33:46,825 but we'll be right back after this. 854 00:33:46,925 --> 00:33:48,760 Yeah, man. Thank you. For real. 855 00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:51,096 Such a pleasure, man. Thank you so much. 856 00:33:51,196 --> 00:33:52,531 (applause) 857 00:33:54,632 --> 00:33:56,667 (cheering and applause) 858 00:33:57,868 --> 00:33:59,170 Well, that's our show for tonight, 859 00:33:59,270 --> 00:34:02,072 but before we go, the UN Refugee Agency 860 00:34:02,173 --> 00:34:04,041 has stepped up operations in Ukraine 861 00:34:04,141 --> 00:34:06,744 and neighboring countries to help the millions of people 862 00:34:06,844 --> 00:34:08,012 who have been forced to flee. 863 00:34:08,112 --> 00:34:10,347 So if you can, please donate at the link below 864 00:34:10,447 --> 00:34:12,850 to help provide lifesaving protection 865 00:34:12,950 --> 00:34:14,251 to Ukrainian refugees. 866 00:34:14,351 --> 00:34:16,153 Until tomorrow, stay safe out there. 867 00:34:16,253 --> 00:34:18,189 And, remember, if you're a Russian 868 00:34:18,289 --> 00:34:20,391 who doesn't want your Chanel bags, 869 00:34:20,491 --> 00:34:22,259 send them to me. I'll cut them. 870 00:34:22,359 --> 00:34:23,360 I'll cut them for you. 871 00:34:23,460 --> 00:34:25,796 Now here it is, Your Moment of Zen. 872 00:34:25,896 --> 00:34:27,932 ♪ ♪ 873 00:34:30,467 --> 00:34:32,369 NEWSWOMAN: It's a loo with a view. 874 00:34:32,469 --> 00:34:34,738 This bathroom is at a Japanese café, 875 00:34:34,839 --> 00:34:38,676 and it's going viral because it is surrounded by an aquarium. 876 00:34:38,776 --> 00:34:40,010 Look at that. How cool. 877 00:34:40,110 --> 00:34:42,947 Can you imagine if a fish just locks eyes with you though? 878 00:34:43,047 --> 00:34:44,982 You're like-- Then you get stage fright. 879 00:34:45,082 --> 00:34:46,717 Yeah! You're like-- Then I'm not going! 880 00:34:46,817 --> 00:34:48,619 Then I'm like, "I can't go now."