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Hello there.
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You're about to watch an episode
of The Daily Show.
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That means there's some news
and some jokes on the way.
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So if you like laughing at news,
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you're in the right
(bleep) place, honey.
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After two long years,
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The Daily Show is finally back
with an audience.
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(applause and cheering)
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Yeah!
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Let's hear how excited they are.
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I'm so excited that we are
the first audience
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-in two years to be here.
That's amazing. -In two years.
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I flew in from Canada last night
just for this show today.
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How excited are you
to see the show?
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This is the line
for the COVID test, right?
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Yes. Yes, it is.
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I'm from Miami.
It's crazy to be here.
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This is wilder
than a South Beach party.
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I couldn't be more pumped
to cut work to be here.
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Who are you excited
to see here tonight?
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-Well, I'm really excited to see
Trevor. -Trevor, obviously.
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-And, um... anyone else?
-Ronny.
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-Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Ronny.
Yeah. -Yeah, Ronny, yeah.
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-Ronny, yeah.
-Ronny, and, uh...
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And I'm sure there's someone
else you're excited to see.
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-Um, who else?
-Dulcé.
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-Dulcé, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Oh, Dulcé's really great, too.
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These look like fun people.
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We love the show so much,
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and it really helped us
through quarantine.
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I am so excited to be here!
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Mom, I hope you're jealous.
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So many fans here today.
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Wait. Roy? Roy, you know
you don't have to stand in line.
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You can just go right in.
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Nah, nah, nah, I don't want
any special treatment.
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I'm a man of the people.
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Okay.
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So excited to see the show live.
I love it so much.
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It's my first time in person
anywhere in forever.
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What's your name?
How you feeling?
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My name's Greg McFarly,
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and I'm really excited
to be in the audience today.
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Greg McFarly?
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That's the name of the man
who killed my brother.
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♪ ♪
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Hey!
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ANNOUNCER: Coming to you
from New York City,
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the only city in America,
it's The Daily Show.
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Tonight-- Washington has COVID,
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KBJ goes all the way,
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and Ben Stiller.
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This is
The Daily Show with Trevor Noah.
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(cheers and applause)
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Hey, what's going on, everybody?
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Welcome to The Daily Show.
I'm Trevor Noah.
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And you may have noticed,
you maybe have noticed
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that we're back
with a live audience.
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We're back with a live audience.
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Thank you very much. Thank you.
Take a seat. Take a seat, guys.
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Wow. Oh, take a seat.
We're back.
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Sit down, sit down.
Thank you so much.
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Oh, wow. Oh, this is fun.
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I've missed you guys, man.
I've missed you.
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-(applause and cheering)
-This is...
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You know?
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I'm so sorry that we were
separated for two years.
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You know, in hindsight,
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I shouldn't have left
my Tupperware open in Wuhan.
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That was my bad, my bad.
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The important part is
that we're all back together,
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and the reunion sex
is gonna be amazing. Yeah.
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It's been a while.
It's just comedy. Don't stress.
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You screamed like, "What?!"
No, there's no sex.
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Nothing has changed.
We got a great show tonight
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because Ben Stiller
is our guest, everybody.
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-(applause and cheering)
-And, uh, I'm so excited
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because we're gonna be talking
about his hit show, Severance.
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It's a really amazing show
about people
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who can't remember
what they did at work,
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which sounds like
a documentary to me.
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Also on today's show,
we'll be celebrating
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the Supreme Court's newest
member,
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Ketanji Brown Jackson,
everybody! So let's do it.
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Let's jump straight
into today's headlines.
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♪ ♪
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All right, let's kick things off
in Washington D.C.,
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home of the world's most famous
statue of a guy
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watching TV I'm gonna guess?
Is that what he's doing?
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And those days...
You know, these days,
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it's also the home of America's
most elite COVID outbreak.
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And turning to the pandemic,
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the list of high-profile
government officials
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testing positive
for COVID is growing longer.
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Last week's Gridiron Dinner,
which hosted several members
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of Washington's elite
political class,
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including those cabinet members,
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has become the source
of a major outbreak.
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New tonight-- we've learned 67
attendees have tested positive.
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That's about ten percent
of that total crowd.
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House speaker Nancy Pelosi's
positive COVID test today
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came less than 24 hours after
she was standing next to
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President Biden for
a bill signing.
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That interaction
followed this one on Tuesday,
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when the 82-year-old
kissed the president.
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White House Communications
Director Kate Bedingfield also
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said that it is conceivable, uh,
possible that the president
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President Biden will ultimately
test positive for COVID.
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But I do think it's important
to note that, you know, it is
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possible he will test positive
for COVID at some point.
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You know, the president is
certainly living his life.
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-Ooh, you hear that?
-(audience laughter)
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The president's certainly
living his life! (laughs)
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I understand what she meant, but
the way she made it sound,
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it's like, "Oh, yeah, he's
getting kissed by Pelosi.
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"Oh, yeah. He's hitting the
clubs. He's calling up
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"Madison Cawthorn being like,
'Where's that orgy, boy?'
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-Tell me where that orgy is!'"
-(laughter)
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You can relax. It's a safe orgy.
Everyone's wearing masks.
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But yes, but yes, COVID is
ripping through Washington, D.C.
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right now. And you know what?
It's just nice to see capital
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being overrun with something
that doesn't
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smear feces in Nancy Pelosi's
office. This is a nice change.
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It's respectable, COVID. And the
good news is that no one has
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gotten very sick. I think that's
the main thing, you know?
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Which is a big difference
between now and the beginning
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of the pandemic.
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Yeah, the other difference is
that now when COVID sweeps
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through a house full of old
people,
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Andrew Cuomo isn't
there to cover it up.
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So this is a good change.
We're moving forward.
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And this just shows that,
unfortunately, we cannot
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let our guard down when it comes
to COVID, people. All right?
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The vaccine is one of the best
defenses you have, and I hope
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each and every one of you
in this packed indoor audience
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-remembers that, right? Stay
safe. Stay safe! -(cheers)
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COVID is no joke.
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Yeah. In fact, t-tell the person
next to you--
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pull down your mask, so they can
hear you clearly-- Yeah.
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Tell them: "Stay safe!"
"Stay safe!"
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(laughs)
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Also, I shouldn't have to say
this, but why are we
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kissing our co-workers?
What are we doing?
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It's not necessary, all right?
Not now, not ever.
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In the history of jobs, no one
has ever needed a kiss
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from their co-worker. All right?
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No one, no one is sitting
in the office, like,
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"I work so hard, but my boss
won't even smoosh his wet lips
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"against mine cheek! This place
is toxic! Why won't he kiss me?
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"He said, 'Bring me the report',
and I brought it, and then
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"was just like, 'Thank you.'
Where's the kiss? Mleh."
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All right, let's move on to some
big entertainment news.
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It's now been two weeks since
the craziest Oscars moment
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in living memory. And yeah, I'm
talking about the fact that
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House of Gucci didn't win
Best Hair and Makeup.
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The whole movie was hair and
makeup! How did they not win?!
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That was truly the craziest
thing that happened
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at the Oscars. Yeah-- Oh!
I almost forgot.
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There was also the moment where
Will Smith introduced his hand
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to Chris Rock's face,
which had everyone asking:
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How will the Academy Awards
punish Will Smith?
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Well, now we're finding out.
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It was the slap
heard 'round the world,
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and after slapping Chris Rock
during the Oscars,
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actor Will Smith has been banned
from attending any
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Academy events
for the next decade.
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NEWSWOMAN: The Academy
issued a statement yesterday
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saying this in part:
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"The 94th Oscars
were meant to be a celebration
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"of the many individuals
in our community
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"who did incredible work
this past year.
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"However,
those moments were overshadowed
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"by the unacceptable
and harmful behavior
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we saw Mr. Smith
exhibit onstage."
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NEWSMAN: The board's move
will keep Smith from attending,
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presenting or performing
at the Oscars.
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It won't bar him
from being nominated
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or even winning
an Academy Award in the future,
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and he gets to keep
the one he has now.
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Damn, Will Smith has been banned
from the Oscars
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for ten years.
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Ten years.
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You realize by then,
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I Am Legend
is just gonna be real life.
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(laughter and applause)
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Although, I will say this.
I will say this.
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When I first read the headline,
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I thought this was
the worst punishment ever.
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I was like, "Ten years.
The Oscars, you're ridiculous."
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But then, I won't lie.
I got into the details,
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and I realized
he gets to keep his Oscar,
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and he can still win Oscars
even though he's banned.
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So, in many ways,
this isn't a punishment.
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Yeah, this is a favor.
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Will Smith doesn't have to go
to the ceremony.
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Yeah. He doesn't have
to get dressed up.
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He doesn't have sit through
a bunch of boring awards
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that he doesn't care about.
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"Oh, Best Punctuation
in a Digital Recycled Film."
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Kill me!
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He doesn't have to pretend
to be happy when he loses.
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I wish I could get banned
from the Emmys.
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I wish! Every year, I have to go
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and act like I might beat
John Oliver.
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It's a nightmare!
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Oh, put on my hopeful face.
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"Oh, it could be me."
It's not gonna be me!
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00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:02,776
It's not gonna be any of us.
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00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,278
(cheering and applause)
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00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,413
It's gonna be John Oliver.
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00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:13,086
I also think they should have
at least consulted Chris Rock
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before choosing the punishment,
you know?
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Because if Will
was still going to the Oscars,
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that's at least four hours
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where Chris Rock
knows where he is.
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Now he could be anywhere.
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(laughter)
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Honestly, I don't think
they should have banned
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Will Smith at all.
I'll be honest. Yeah.
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I actually think they
should have hired Will Smith
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to replace
the "wrap it up" music
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that they play at award shows.
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Yeah.
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Do you know how quickly winners
will finish their speeches
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when they see
Will Smith watching them
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from the side of the stage?
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"And I just want to thank
my agent
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"and my publicist
and my agent's publicist.
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-And I just want to..."
-♪ ♪
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"Oh, okay, I'm done!
I'm done! I'm done!
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"I'm done! I'm done!
I'm done! I'm done!
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I'm done, I'm done, I'm done!"
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The main thing is...
The main thing is
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we can finally move on
and stop talking about the slap.
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All right? It's done now.
The punishment is doled out.
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The man made a mistake.
We move on.
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00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:06,306
Let's move on.
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00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:07,641
(applause)
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00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,343
Now we can get back
to talking about the story
240
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:11,278
that the slap
pushed off the front page,
241
00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:12,946
the war in Ukraine.
242
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:15,082
Yeah. So, let's move on
and talk about that.
243
00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:18,118
As Russian troops retreat
from the areas around Kyiv
244
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:19,653
and other locations
in Western Ukraine,
245
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:22,289
it now appears
that Putin will be focusing
246
00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:24,758
on trying to take over
just the eastern regions
247
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:27,261
directly on Russia's border.
All right?
248
00:10:27,361 --> 00:10:29,530
And, so, in the latest
show of support for Ukraine.
249
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,398
British Prime Minister
Boris Johnson
250
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:34,134
met with Ukrainian President
Volodymyr Zelensky
251
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:36,870
on the streets
of war-torn Ukraine.
252
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,972
Yeah, look at that.
That's them in Kyiv.
253
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,807
And, you know, it's crazy
that even though he's wearing
254
00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:43,143
a full suit,
Boris is somehow the one
255
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,545
who looks
like he's being kept up at night
256
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:45,879
by Russian bombs.
257
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,415
He's like, "Oh, another one."
258
00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:50,551
(laughter)
259
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,120
But while the rest of the world
is focused
260
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:55,255
on the Ukrainian victims
of Putin's war,
261
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:57,724
many Russian
Instagram influencers,
262
00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:01,128
well, they feel
like they're the real victims
263
00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:03,630
of what's happening in Ukraine.
264
00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:06,567
NEWSMAN: Over 600 companies
have withdrawn their businesses
265
00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:09,136
from Russia so far,
some, like Chanel,
266
00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:12,239
even refusing to sell products
to Russians abroad
267
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:15,776
unless they confirm they won't
use those products in Russia.
268
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:18,712
Enraged Russian influencers
posted videos
269
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:21,682
showing them cutting up
their Chanel bags in protest.
270
00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,723
♪ ♪
271
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:33,694
(laughter)
272
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,896
Hey.
273
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:38,432
Yeah, on the list of people
I feel bad for in this world,
274
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:40,767
Russian influencers
is right at the top.
275
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,603
Definitely at the top for me.
276
00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:44,872
I will say this.
I mean, we have seen
277
00:11:44,972 --> 00:11:47,140
that the economic pressure
on Russia is having an effect.
278
00:11:47,241 --> 00:11:48,942
You realize,
that Instagram model
279
00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:51,111
can't even buy pants anymore.
280
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,980
(laughter)
281
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:55,716
Clearly,
the sanctions are working.
282
00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:59,453
You know, I-I'm always confused
when people protest companies
283
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:02,256
by destroying stuff
that they already bought.
284
00:12:02,356 --> 00:12:03,857
What are you doing?
285
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:06,193
What are you doing? "Oh, Chanel,
we are going to show you,
286
00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:09,196
as I go to cut my bag.
Oh, this is going to..."
287
00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:11,932
You-- Chanel's already got
your money!
288
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,300
This doesn't hurt Chanel!
289
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,302
You think when you're
cutting up that purse
290
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,771
Coco Chanel is in Monaco
on a yacht feeling it
291
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:19,439
like a designer voodoo doll?
Huh?
292
00:12:19,540 --> 00:12:21,308
She's just like,
"Oh, they're cutting me!
293
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,644
Oh! I feel it in my heart!"
294
00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:26,914
No! She's just like,
"Bring me more champagne. Yes!
295
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,248
"I know I'm dead. I don't care.
296
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:29,716
Bring me champagne."
297
00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:30,918
All right, that's it
for the headlines.
298
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,453
But before we go,
let's check in with Roy Wood Jr.
299
00:12:33,554 --> 00:12:35,122
with today's traffic report,
everybody!
300
00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:36,590
(cheering and applause)
301
00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:38,358
-Yes. -What's going on
in the traffic, Roy?
302
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:39,893
What's going on, man?
303
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:43,163
Now, we're gonna get ready to
take a quick look at the roads.
304
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,665
But, first, let me--
let me just ask you a question
305
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:47,968
about these-- the-the
whole COVID thing in D.C.
306
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,536
-Oh, the Democrats getting
COVID? Yeah. -Yeah, they--
307
00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:52,539
Everybody, they-they
just now getting COVID?
308
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:55,008
-Well, yeah. -Well, they missed
the sympathy window.
309
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,777
See, that's the messed up part,
man.
310
00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:58,111
Why it take 'em this long
to get--
311
00:12:58,145 --> 00:13:00,047
Everybody know--
you were supposed to get COVID
312
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,815
in that first six, seven months,
313
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:03,884
and that's when you get
thoughts and prayers
314
00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:05,118
and people would care about you.
315
00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:06,386
I call it original recipe,
316
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,388
like, way back in the day.
317
00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:09,957
And, like,
that-that sympathy window,
318
00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:11,558
that's important, man.
319
00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:13,227
You get COVID now,
don't nobody give a damn.
320
00:13:13,327 --> 00:13:15,796
That's like... that's like
telling people you got dandruff.
321
00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,865
Don't nobody care.
322
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:20,400
Keep the shit off me,
and I'll see you tomorrow.
323
00:13:20,501 --> 00:13:21,935
That's...
324
00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:23,604
-that's all it is.
-I mean...
325
00:13:23,704 --> 00:13:25,772
-So...
-(cheering and applause)
326
00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:27,407
I just don't...
327
00:13:27,508 --> 00:13:29,076
I'm trying to understand it,
but I just--
328
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,245
I just-- I-I don't--
I don't understand it, man.
329
00:13:31,345 --> 00:13:32,546
But the--
And then here's another thing.
330
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,147
COVID.
331
00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:35,148
The name "COVID"--
332
00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:36,216
We'll get to that in a second.
333
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,851
Okay.
334
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:40,287
Part of the problem with
all this vaccination shit, man,
335
00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:42,322
is that nobody's scared
of the name "COVID."
336
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:44,758
You control Americans with fear.
337
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,827
We was done the moment
they called it "COVID."
338
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,462
They should've called it
"sky AIDS."
339
00:13:48,562 --> 00:13:51,164
If you called COVID "sky AIDS,"
340
00:13:51,265 --> 00:13:52,332
-you're telling me...
-Sky AIDS?
341
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,735
Vaccination rate would be 97%.
342
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:57,337
If-if you knew
AIDS was in the air,
343
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,373
you wouldn't be here right now.
344
00:14:00,474 --> 00:14:02,476
Here's-here's a question.
Why is this a job?
345
00:14:02,576 --> 00:14:04,545
-Traffic man.
-No, it's...
346
00:14:04,645 --> 00:14:06,747
Why-why am I even here
right now?
347
00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,282
Because people like watching
the news,
348
00:14:08,382 --> 00:14:10,117
and they like watching
the traffic on the news.
349
00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:12,186
-That's how it works. -At night?
They like the traffic at night?
350
00:14:12,286 --> 00:14:13,754
-That's when they like
the traffic? -Yeah,
351
00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:15,289
-they watch the traffic all the
time, Roy. -Like, it's traffic.
352
00:14:15,389 --> 00:14:17,591
Like, why-why
are you trusting a dude on TV
353
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:18,692
to tell you the traffic?
354
00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:20,594
Bitch, you got a TV
in your pocket.
355
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:23,230
You got a whole telephone
in your--
356
00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:25,499
If you got anything past
a iPhone 2, you don't need me.
357
00:14:25,599 --> 00:14:26,500
My job is irrelevant.
358
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,068
Me and Vanna White--
359
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:30,537
it's a scam.
360
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:31,905
It's a scam.
361
00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:33,640
This job is a scam. But if you
want to keep paying me...
362
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:36,243
-Just tell us what the traffic
is, Roy! -Hey, hey. Hey.
363
00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:38,078
-I'm-- That's fine. -I'm trying
to make a news show here, Roy!
364
00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:39,980
Look, I just don't know--
If you want better traffic,
365
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,982
stay at home.
You're a part of the problem
366
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:43,517
when you leave the house.
367
00:14:43,617 --> 00:14:45,452
You got the-the green.
368
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:47,120
Look at these people. Look
at these people in the green.
369
00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:48,722
See, they happy. They think
they're not part of the problem.
370
00:14:48,822 --> 00:14:51,225
Wrong. Bam!
And then they hit the red.
371
00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:52,559
And then you got the people
up top.
372
00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:54,294
Make them come down.
"Oh, no, I'm smart.
373
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,196
I'm-a go this way." Wrong!
374
00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:57,998
Red, bitch.
375
00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:00,067
And I still feel sorry
for them people
376
00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:01,401
right there in the center.
But you know what?
377
00:15:01,502 --> 00:15:02,936
I feel sorry for the people
stuck in traffic more
378
00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:04,938
than I do anybody
who finally catching COVID
379
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:06,940
two and a half years into it.
380
00:15:12,513 --> 00:15:14,414
-We're gonna work on this.
Roy Wood Jr., everybody! -I...
381
00:15:14,515 --> 00:15:16,550
(cheering and applause)
382
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:18,919
And now you know
what's happening in the traffic.
383
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:20,521
All right, when we come back,
384
00:15:20,621 --> 00:15:23,323
we'll be getting judgy
with Ketanji Brown Jackson.
385
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,325
And Ben Stiller's
still joining us on the show!
386
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,094
You don't want to miss it,
people!
387
00:15:27,194 --> 00:15:29,229
(cheering and applause)
388
00:15:36,635 --> 00:15:38,971
(applause and cheering)
389
00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:45,244
Welcome back.
390
00:15:45,344 --> 00:15:49,047
Welcome back to The Daily Show
with human beings.
391
00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:51,016
Welcome back, human beings.
392
00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:54,520
Take a seat. Take a seat.
Thank you so much.
393
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,189
Let's talk
about the Supreme Court,
394
00:15:57,289 --> 00:16:00,759
the only place where wearing
a robe makes you more powerful.
395
00:16:00,859 --> 00:16:04,530
The Supreme Court is one
of the oldest institutions
396
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:05,998
in American society.
397
00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:08,567
And after 230 years,
398
00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:11,570
it's finally getting
a fresh new face.
399
00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:13,405
NEWSWOMAN:
Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson
400
00:16:13,505 --> 00:16:16,775
cementing her place in history,
becoming the first Black women
401
00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:18,811
to be confirmed
to the Supreme Court.
402
00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:23,148
On this vote, the yeas are 53,
the nays are 47,
403
00:16:23,248 --> 00:16:25,584
and this nomination
is confirmed.
404
00:16:25,684 --> 00:16:27,786
(applause and cheering)
405
00:16:27,886 --> 00:16:30,622
NEWSWOMAN: Cheers erupting
in the chamber.
406
00:16:30,722 --> 00:16:33,025
Over at the White House,
President Biden
407
00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:34,927
watching that final tally
come in
408
00:16:35,027 --> 00:16:36,428
with the judge by his side.
409
00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:41,099
Yeah.
410
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,001
(both laugh)
411
00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:47,473
-(laughter)
-Oh, wow. He didn't know his...
412
00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:50,142
"Oh, wow. Oh..."
413
00:16:50,242 --> 00:16:51,710
This is exciting, people.
414
00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:55,814
Finally, a Black women will be
on the Supreme Court.
415
00:16:55,914 --> 00:16:59,718
-(applause and cheering)
-Wow. Wow.
416
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:04,723
And this is happening
just in time for the court
417
00:17:04,756 --> 00:17:06,892
to eliminate all rights
for Black people and women.
418
00:17:06,992 --> 00:17:09,528
What a moment. No,
this is really incredible, man.
419
00:17:09,628 --> 00:17:12,564
Think about it. She will now be
the most powerful Black woman
420
00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:15,534
in the country to have her
opinions entirely dismissed
421
00:17:15,634 --> 00:17:18,904
by two thirds of her co-workers.
Wow! This is huge.
422
00:17:19,004 --> 00:17:20,873
And by the way,
for anyone who wondered
423
00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:23,342
how much of an impact Ketanji
Brown Jackson would have,
424
00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:27,646
well, she made history from
the moment she was confirmed.
425
00:17:27,746 --> 00:17:30,616
NEWSWOMAN: As Democrats rose
to their feet with applause,
426
00:17:30,749 --> 00:17:32,584
Republicans headed for the door.
427
00:17:32,751 --> 00:17:36,221
Mitt Romney of Utah, one of
three Republicans to vote "yes,"
428
00:17:36,321 --> 00:17:39,591
standing alone,
the only GOP Senator clapping.
429
00:17:39,691 --> 00:17:43,595
-Really? Really?
-(audience booing)
430
00:17:43,695 --> 00:17:47,699
You know what? First of all,
kudos to Mitt Romney.
431
00:17:47,766 --> 00:17:49,701
(applause and cheering)
432
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:51,837
Yeah, man.
433
00:17:51,937 --> 00:17:54,106
This is, like,
434
00:17:54,206 --> 00:17:56,542
just decorum, you know?
435
00:17:56,708 --> 00:17:58,544
All those other assholes--
think about it.
436
00:17:58,710 --> 00:18:02,314
The first Black woman
since this country was founded
437
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,449
gets confirmed
to the Supreme Court,
438
00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:07,753
and you can't find it in you
to stay and clap?
439
00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:11,557
Jus-Just clap. Even
like a, like, a...
440
00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:13,425
Yeah, I'm not saying you got to
throw your panties on the stage
441
00:18:13,525 --> 00:18:16,829
or anything.
Just show some respect.
442
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,932
J-Just some respect. Those
Republicans ran out of the room
443
00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:22,568
like someone was handing out
free N-Word passes in the lobby.
444
00:18:22,734 --> 00:18:24,036
"Oh, boy, oh, boy!
445
00:18:24,136 --> 00:18:28,373
I've always wanted to say that
word! Oh, boy! In public."
446
00:18:31,376 --> 00:18:33,612
Why would you leave? No one ever
leaves. Doesn't matter whether
447
00:18:33,745 --> 00:18:35,547
they like the person or not--
why would you leave?
448
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:37,749
The first Black woman, and
that's when you're gonna leave?
449
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:40,285
I mean, luckily, luckily the
Republican hissy fit couldn't
450
00:18:40,385 --> 00:18:42,821
spoil this historic moment.
You know? Because it's not
451
00:18:42,921 --> 00:18:45,824
every day that a Black person in
America gets sent to a court
452
00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:48,694
they actually deserve to
be in. And on Friday,
453
00:18:48,727 --> 00:18:52,231
K.B.J.-- she took her
victory lap at the White House.
454
00:18:52,331 --> 00:18:55,234
ANCHOR: Tonight, celebrating
history on the High Court.
455
00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:56,802
Judge Ketanji Brown-Jackson
456
00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:59,438
at a moment
centuries in the making.
457
00:18:59,538 --> 00:19:02,708
It has taken 232 years
458
00:19:02,774 --> 00:19:06,545
and 115 prior appointments
459
00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:09,515
for a Black woman to be selected
460
00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:12,718
to serve on the Supreme Court
of the United States.
461
00:19:12,784 --> 00:19:13,952
(cheering and applause)
462
00:19:14,052 --> 00:19:15,721
But we've made it.
463
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,489
NEWSMAN:
Jackson, a historymaker
464
00:19:17,589 --> 00:19:18,924
and a barrier breaker,
465
00:19:19,024 --> 00:19:21,860
reciting the poetic words
of Maya Angelou.
466
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:25,731
"I am the dream
and the hope of the slave."
467
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:28,267
NEWSMAN:
And casting this as a moment
468
00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:31,336
in which all Americans
can take great pride.
469
00:19:31,436 --> 00:19:33,472
We have come a long way
470
00:19:33,572 --> 00:19:36,742
toward perfecting our union.
471
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:40,245
In my family,
it took just one generation
472
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:42,114
to go from segregation
473
00:19:42,214 --> 00:19:45,551
to the Supreme Court
of the United States.
474
00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:47,252
Ooh!
475
00:19:47,352 --> 00:19:49,288
(cheering and applause)
476
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:50,756
What?
477
00:19:53,492 --> 00:19:57,496
"From segregation
to the Supreme Court."
478
00:19:57,596 --> 00:20:00,165
Ooh! That was a line.
479
00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:02,301
I almost feel like if you're
a Black person who succeeds,
480
00:20:02,401 --> 00:20:04,336
you've got double the pressure
on you, you know?
481
00:20:04,436 --> 00:20:06,572
Yeah, 'cause you-you don't
just have to perform.
482
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:07,973
You've also got to come up
with dope lines
483
00:20:08,073 --> 00:20:09,374
when you get the job.
484
00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:11,510
"From segregation
to the Supreme Court."
485
00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:14,079
What? Ooh! That was powerful.
486
00:20:14,179 --> 00:20:15,714
And that quote
from Maya Angelou?
487
00:20:15,814 --> 00:20:18,283
All of it was fire. I mean,
especially when you consider
488
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,118
Brett Kavanaugh's celebration
where he just quoted
489
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,120
the words of Captain Morgan.
490
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,057
And, by the way, by the way,
props to President Biden
491
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:27,359
for rocking those aviators
during that speech.
492
00:20:27,459 --> 00:20:29,928
Yeah, way to make
a historic moment
493
00:20:30,028 --> 00:20:33,232
look like a deleted scene
from Top Gun, Mr. President.
494
00:20:33,332 --> 00:20:35,067
You know Biden
only breaks those out
495
00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:37,436
when he's feeling his swagger.
He's just like, "Oh, yeah."
496
00:20:37,536 --> 00:20:39,071
Or when his eyes
are bleeding again.
497
00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:40,839
You never know which one it is.
You never know.
498
00:20:40,939 --> 00:20:42,374
-(audience groans)
-Anyway...
499
00:20:42,474 --> 00:20:44,109
I didn't make his eye bleed!
500
00:20:44,209 --> 00:20:46,512
(laughter and applause)
501
00:20:46,678 --> 00:20:49,581
Anyway, for more
on the historic nomination
502
00:20:49,681 --> 00:20:51,817
of Ketanji Brown Jackson,
let's turn now
503
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,786
to our Supreme Court expert,
Dulcé Sloan, everybody.
504
00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:56,788
(cheering and applause)
505
00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:58,690
Hello!
506
00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:00,592
-Dulcé...
-Hello.
507
00:21:00,692 --> 00:21:02,327
Dulcé, I...
508
00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:04,830
I know you're
at the Supreme Court right now.
509
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,933
How are you feeling
about this historic news?
510
00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:10,002
Mm, fine, I guess.
511
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,137
(laughter)
512
00:21:15,574 --> 00:21:17,776
Oh, wait, wait, that...
That's it?
513
00:21:17,876 --> 00:21:19,578
You're feeling fine?
514
00:21:19,711 --> 00:21:21,446
Trevor, I'm devastated!
515
00:21:21,547 --> 00:21:22,848
(exhales)
Now, listen,
516
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:24,783
I know homegirl earned this,
517
00:21:24,883 --> 00:21:27,019
but deep down, I was hoping
518
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,588
I would become
the first Black woman
519
00:21:29,721 --> 00:21:31,757
on the Supreme Court.
520
00:21:31,857 --> 00:21:33,091
(laughter)
521
00:21:33,192 --> 00:21:34,593
Well, no offense, Dulcé,
522
00:21:34,726 --> 00:21:36,662
but why would you be qualified
523
00:21:36,695 --> 00:21:38,463
to be a judge
on the Supreme Court?
524
00:21:38,564 --> 00:21:40,966
Oh, I'm not qualified?
525
00:21:41,066 --> 00:21:43,836
I've been judging people
my whole life!
526
00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:47,439
Okay? Family. Friends.
527
00:21:47,539 --> 00:21:49,174
Strangers. Dogs.
528
00:21:49,274 --> 00:21:50,342
What?
529
00:21:50,442 --> 00:21:52,144
Y'all know
I don't mess with dogs.
530
00:21:52,244 --> 00:21:53,846
I'm judging everybody.
531
00:21:53,946 --> 00:21:56,348
I'm judging people
who ask for directions,
532
00:21:56,448 --> 00:21:58,750
people who can't use chopsticks.
533
00:22:00,285 --> 00:22:01,787
People who can't calculate
a tip.
534
00:22:01,887 --> 00:22:05,023
You just move the decimal point
one time! It's not that hard!
535
00:22:05,123 --> 00:22:07,159
(applause)
536
00:22:11,697 --> 00:22:14,199
I judge bitches
who wear kitten heels.
537
00:22:14,299 --> 00:22:17,469
Wait. I'm sorry,
what's wrong with kitten heels?
538
00:22:17,569 --> 00:22:21,473
It's either a heel or a flat,
okay?
539
00:22:21,573 --> 00:22:23,408
A tiny heel means
you're unstable
540
00:22:23,509 --> 00:22:25,844
and you can't make up your mind.
541
00:22:25,944 --> 00:22:28,113
The point is I have
been preparing for this job
542
00:22:28,213 --> 00:22:29,848
since I came out the womb, okay?
543
00:22:29,948 --> 00:22:31,550
Well-well, Dulcé,
I'll be honest,
544
00:22:31,717 --> 00:22:33,919
I-I had no idea
you were so invested
545
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:35,554
in getting on the Supreme Court.
546
00:22:35,654 --> 00:22:37,022
Yeah. I know you weren't,
547
00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:38,957
and I'm judging you for that.
548
00:22:39,057 --> 00:22:40,659
Well, look. No, no, no. No, no.
549
00:22:40,726 --> 00:22:42,194
I know you're disappointed.
I know you're disappointed.
550
00:22:42,294 --> 00:22:46,431
But Ketanji Brown Jackson is one
of the most qualified candidates
551
00:22:46,532 --> 00:22:48,167
in the history of the process.
552
00:22:48,267 --> 00:22:49,368
Of course she is.
553
00:22:49,468 --> 00:22:51,770
She had to be. Okay?
554
00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:55,174
She's a Black woman
named Ketanji.
555
00:22:55,274 --> 00:22:56,842
She's had to break
glass ceilings
556
00:22:56,942 --> 00:23:00,779
and teach white people how
to say her name from day one.
557
00:23:00,879 --> 00:23:03,682
Look, I don't want
to come across as a hater.
558
00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:06,051
If it couldn't be me,
I'm glad it's her.
559
00:23:06,151 --> 00:23:07,319
Well, that's very big of you,
Dulcé.
560
00:23:07,419 --> 00:23:09,788
Plus, there's still hope
for you, too.
561
00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:11,190
'Cause, I mean,
562
00:23:11,290 --> 00:23:14,693
I think you'd make a great
second female Black justice.
563
00:23:14,793 --> 00:23:15,828
Second?
564
00:23:15,928 --> 00:23:17,129
What? No!
565
00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:19,498
Nobody cares about
the person who's second, okay?
566
00:23:19,598 --> 00:23:21,733
That's not a Black history fact.
567
00:23:23,068 --> 00:23:25,270
See, if I can't be
the first Black female judge
568
00:23:25,370 --> 00:23:27,473
on the Supreme Court,
I'm not interested.
569
00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:29,308
So now I have a new goal--
570
00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:32,177
to be the first Black
female judge on Judge Judy.
571
00:23:32,277 --> 00:23:34,313
(cheering and applause)
572
00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:36,915
W-Wait, no.
573
00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:40,652
No, I... I think only Judge Judy
574
00:23:40,719 --> 00:23:42,955
can be the judge on Judge Judy.
575
00:23:44,156 --> 00:23:46,692
Why? 'Cause she's white?
576
00:23:46,792 --> 00:23:47,826
No, beca--
577
00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:49,094
Y-You know what, Dulcé,
chase your dream.
578
00:23:49,194 --> 00:23:50,796
You chase--
Dulcé Sloan, everybody!
579
00:23:50,896 --> 00:23:52,664
-(cheering and applause)
-You'll do it!
580
00:23:52,764 --> 00:23:53,932
The future Judge Judy.
581
00:23:54,032 --> 00:23:55,534
All right, when we come back,
582
00:23:55,667 --> 00:23:57,970
Ben Stiller is joining me here,
583
00:23:58,070 --> 00:24:00,272
so don't go away.
584
00:24:00,372 --> 00:24:02,808
Dulcé Sloan, everybody!
585
00:24:10,015 --> 00:24:12,017
-(applause and cheering)
-Welcome back to The Daily Show
586
00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:13,718
with human beings.
587
00:24:13,819 --> 00:24:17,055
They're all human.
They're all here.
588
00:24:17,155 --> 00:24:19,958
My guest tonight,
my guest tonight
589
00:24:20,058 --> 00:24:24,796
is Emmy Award-winning director,
producer and actor Ben Stiller.
590
00:24:24,896 --> 00:24:26,131
He's here to talk
591
00:24:26,231 --> 00:24:29,534
about his thrilling
hit series Severance.
592
00:24:29,634 --> 00:24:31,937
So, it's tomorrow now?
593
00:24:32,037 --> 00:24:35,707
Uh, yeah. Well, it's Monday.
594
00:24:35,807 --> 00:24:37,676
-A weekend just happened.
-Yeah.
595
00:24:37,776 --> 00:24:39,177
I don't even feel like I left.
596
00:24:39,277 --> 00:24:42,647
Yeah. That's how nights
and weekends feel here.
597
00:24:42,748 --> 00:24:45,217
-Like nothing?
-Well, you get used to it.
598
00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:47,919
I mean, I find it helps
to focus on the effects of sleep
599
00:24:48,019 --> 00:24:50,255
since we don't actually get
to experience it.
600
00:24:50,355 --> 00:24:53,692
You may feel rejuvenated
or happy,
601
00:24:53,792 --> 00:24:56,962
less tense in the shoulders,
spry.
602
00:24:58,830 --> 00:25:00,665
So it's 9:05.
603
00:25:00,766 --> 00:25:02,434
Yeah, they stagger
the entries, too,
604
00:25:02,534 --> 00:25:03,902
so we don't meet on the outside.
605
00:25:04,002 --> 00:25:05,370
It's important, apparently.
606
00:25:05,470 --> 00:25:07,372
Please welcome Ben Stiller.
607
00:25:07,472 --> 00:25:09,941
-(applause and cheering)
-♪ ♪
608
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:17,149
I'm good. I'm good. I'm good.
Yeah.
609
00:25:17,249 --> 00:25:20,152
Oh, man. Oh.
610
00:25:20,252 --> 00:25:23,021
-Oh, man, you-you okay?
-Thank you.
611
00:25:23,121 --> 00:25:26,291
-You okay?
-I'm good.
612
00:25:26,391 --> 00:25:28,527
-Are you good? You okay?
-I'm good.
613
00:25:28,627 --> 00:25:30,662
(applause and cheering swelling)
614
00:25:32,731 --> 00:25:36,735
Thank you. Thank you.
615
00:25:37,736 --> 00:25:40,439
-That's good.
-You, uh, you good?
616
00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:42,207
Yeah. You'll-you'll edit
that out, right?
617
00:25:42,307 --> 00:25:43,975
-I'll edit it out. We'll do
another one. -Great. Cool.
618
00:25:44,075 --> 00:25:46,144
-No one will know...
-Great. Great.
619
00:25:46,244 --> 00:25:47,679
...that you fell.
No one will know.
620
00:25:47,779 --> 00:25:50,615
-Ben Stiller, welcome to
The Daily Show. -How are you?
621
00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:52,050
This is so good to see.
It's been so long
622
00:25:52,150 --> 00:25:53,785
since I've seen you in person.
623
00:25:53,885 --> 00:25:56,254
Um, it was maybe four years ago.
624
00:25:56,354 --> 00:25:57,389
It feels like 40 years ago.
625
00:25:57,489 --> 00:25:58,757
It feels like
a million years ago.
626
00:25:58,857 --> 00:26:00,258
It just feels like everything
627
00:26:00,358 --> 00:26:02,561
feels like a long time ago,
yet, it also just happened.
628
00:26:02,661 --> 00:26:04,129
-Right?
-It's really weird.
629
00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:07,099
And you were talking in between
a little bit about the weirdness
630
00:26:07,199 --> 00:26:09,534
with how we're approaching COVID
and where we are in COVID.
631
00:26:09,634 --> 00:26:11,970
-Yes. -And you were
so spot on with it.
632
00:26:12,070 --> 00:26:13,805
Just, it's just so unclear
what's happening.
633
00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:15,807
-Yeah, we're just... we're just
floating. We're float... -Yeah.
634
00:26:15,907 --> 00:26:19,444
You know, I-I know
that you didn't make this show
635
00:26:19,544 --> 00:26:22,547
based on COVID, but really, for
those who haven't watched it--
636
00:26:22,647 --> 00:26:24,149
and I don't say this lightly,
'cause I know
637
00:26:24,249 --> 00:26:26,852
people have time constraints in
their lives-- watch this show.
638
00:26:26,952 --> 00:26:29,688
I promise it is one of
the best shows you will watch.
639
00:26:29,788 --> 00:26:31,089
-Severance is amazing.
Congratulations. -Thank you.
640
00:26:31,189 --> 00:26:32,891
-Thanks, man. Thank you.
Thank you. -Congratulations.
641
00:26:32,991 --> 00:26:34,693
(applause and cheering)
642
00:26:34,793 --> 00:26:38,730
-Well, let's-let's start
with that. Like... -Yeah.
643
00:26:38,830 --> 00:26:40,832
T-This new, uh,
Ben Stiller, you know?
644
00:26:40,932 --> 00:26:43,301
Like the, like the moody
director. It's very, uh...
645
00:26:43,401 --> 00:26:44,836
-(laughing)
-I like this! I-- No!
646
00:26:44,936 --> 00:26:47,139
I d-I didn't see this in you,
like, as a person, you know?
647
00:26:47,239 --> 00:26:48,874
You always, you always think of
Ben Stiller the comedian...
648
00:26:48,974 --> 00:26:50,408
-Right. -Ben Stiller doing,
like, the funniest movies
649
00:26:50,509 --> 00:26:51,777
-you've ever seen, but this
is... -Yeah. My-my-my inner
650
00:26:51,877 --> 00:26:55,547
circle knows me as the moody
Ben Stiller. (laughter)
651
00:26:55,647 --> 00:26:59,651
No, I mean, you know, it's been
really fun to direct and not act
652
00:26:59,751 --> 00:27:01,920
and I love... I've always wanted
to direct, since I was a kid.
653
00:27:02,020 --> 00:27:03,855
-Oh, okay. -You know, since I
was, like ten years old and--
654
00:27:03,955 --> 00:27:06,291
And I've been doing it over the
years and usually acting, also,
655
00:27:06,391 --> 00:27:08,293
but this has been really fun
the last few years.
656
00:27:08,393 --> 00:27:10,395
And I just loved this
piece of material.
657
00:27:10,495 --> 00:27:13,498
This script that Dan Erickson
wrote. He had not had anything
658
00:27:13,598 --> 00:27:15,667
-produced up to this point...
-I find that hard to believe.
659
00:27:15,767 --> 00:27:18,136
Yeah! I know. He's a-a brilliant
writer who was trying to
660
00:27:18,236 --> 00:27:21,273
get his work seen, and--
You know, out there, and, uh,
661
00:27:21,373 --> 00:27:24,042
someone in our company saw it
and I read it, I thought it was
662
00:27:24,142 --> 00:27:26,378
amazing, and that was five years
ago. It took a little while
663
00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:27,946
-to get it to the screen, but...
-Right. Right, right.
664
00:27:28,046 --> 00:27:31,083
It's been really fun. And we
made it totally during--
665
00:27:31,183 --> 00:27:33,718
you know, in a bubble
during the pandemic, really.
666
00:27:33,819 --> 00:27:36,421
So, so we were about to start
shooting, six weeks-- We were
667
00:27:36,521 --> 00:27:38,723
six weeks from shooting when the
pandemic hit, and then...
668
00:27:38,824 --> 00:27:41,226
and then we stopped for a
second, but it's been very much
669
00:27:41,326 --> 00:27:43,361
insular, and then now, to have
it out in the world
670
00:27:43,462 --> 00:27:45,997
all of a sudden, and to have
to have people interact with it,
671
00:27:46,098 --> 00:27:48,166
It's been so satisfying. But it
felt for a long time we were
672
00:27:48,266 --> 00:27:49,801
just doing this for ourselves.
Like, we-- it was...
673
00:27:49,901 --> 00:27:51,803
I feel like everything felt
like that during the pandemic.
674
00:27:51,903 --> 00:27:53,238
-Yeah. -There were moments when
I was making The Daily Show
675
00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:55,574
where I was just, like,
"Is anybody anywhere?"
676
00:27:55,674 --> 00:27:57,776
No, because, like, the
home work felt, at some point,
677
00:27:57,876 --> 00:27:59,211
it was just, like, you. You wake
up and do the thing, you do
678
00:27:59,311 --> 00:28:01,046
-it again. It's, it's in a
bubble. You know? -Right. Right.
679
00:28:01,146 --> 00:28:03,715
And-and you're doing comedy
where you're talking and
680
00:28:03,815 --> 00:28:05,450
making jokes, and there's
nobody in the room, right?
681
00:28:05,550 --> 00:28:07,486
-Yeah. Nothing.
-Yeah. And how could you tell
682
00:28:07,586 --> 00:28:10,021
-if you were funny?
-I couldn't.
683
00:28:10,122 --> 00:28:11,690
You just, you just, you just go,
like, I just became
684
00:28:11,790 --> 00:28:13,558
-a crazy person. -But don't you
think it might have made you
685
00:28:13,658 --> 00:28:16,161
funnier? Because you kind of
didn't care? You could just...
686
00:28:16,261 --> 00:28:18,730
M-M-Maybe. Maybe, in, like a way
that I'll go to therapy for.
687
00:28:18,830 --> 00:28:20,632
-Yeah. Yeah, definitely.
-Right. Understandable.
688
00:28:20,732 --> 00:28:23,602
No, I get-- I wonder if COVID
affected the show. Because--
689
00:28:23,702 --> 00:28:25,637
I don't want to spoil it for
anybody who hasn't watched it,
690
00:28:25,737 --> 00:28:27,439
but I-I will tell you something
you'll learn quickly, and that
691
00:28:27,539 --> 00:28:32,344
is: It's a show where people
have found a way to "sever"
692
00:28:32,444 --> 00:28:35,547
their world and their memories
from their work world and
693
00:28:35,647 --> 00:28:37,949
-their memories. So basically,
the people go to work... -Yup.
694
00:28:38,049 --> 00:28:40,285
...and they don't remember
anything that happened at work.
695
00:28:40,385 --> 00:28:42,087
And when they're at work,
they don't remember
696
00:28:42,187 --> 00:28:43,989
anything that happens in life.
697
00:28:44,089 --> 00:28:45,157
-That's right.
-And when you're watching,
698
00:28:45,257 --> 00:28:46,725
it felt COVID-y.
699
00:28:46,825 --> 00:28:48,493
It felt like a...
Do you know what I mean?
700
00:28:48,593 --> 00:28:50,395
It's almost feels like it's
the perfect show for the time.
701
00:28:50,495 --> 00:28:51,963
Yeah, and it felt...
it felt like that
702
00:28:52,063 --> 00:28:53,632
when we were making it, also,
'cause we were shooting
703
00:28:53,732 --> 00:28:55,867
at this stage in the Bronx,
actually.
704
00:28:55,967 --> 00:28:57,836
And we would go there,
705
00:28:57,936 --> 00:28:59,271
and we'd go
into the testing tent,
706
00:28:59,371 --> 00:29:01,606
-which felt
very postapocalyptic. -Uh-huh.
707
00:29:01,706 --> 00:29:02,874
And then we'd walk
into the studio,
708
00:29:02,974 --> 00:29:04,342
and it was a five-minute walk
709
00:29:04,443 --> 00:29:06,211
-down these white hallways.
-That's hilarious.
710
00:29:06,311 --> 00:29:07,879
-So you were doing the thing.
-To get to the studio.
711
00:29:07,979 --> 00:29:09,281
-Yeah.
-And then we get to the studio,
712
00:29:09,381 --> 00:29:11,316
and the set was white hallways
that we'd walk down.
713
00:29:11,416 --> 00:29:13,518
So, it was...
And then we'd leave at night,
714
00:29:13,618 --> 00:29:14,686
and nobody would see each other,
715
00:29:14,786 --> 00:29:15,987
and then we'd come back
and test.
716
00:29:16,088 --> 00:29:17,255
It was... It was so weird.
717
00:29:17,355 --> 00:29:19,191
-It's beautiful,
I will say that. -Thanks, man.
718
00:29:19,291 --> 00:29:20,959
-Yeah, well, we had a great crew
of people. -Every-every shot
719
00:29:21,059 --> 00:29:23,061
that you have feels intentional.
720
00:29:23,161 --> 00:29:24,496
You know,
sometimes you'll watch a show,
721
00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:26,665
and the show is great.
Maybe the cast is great.
722
00:29:26,765 --> 00:29:28,100
Maybe it's terrible,
as well. Whatever.
723
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,435
But sometimes
you watch a show like this
724
00:29:30,535 --> 00:29:32,938
where the cast is amazing,
you know,
725
00:29:33,038 --> 00:29:34,973
the-the setting is phenomenal,
726
00:29:35,073 --> 00:29:37,742
but the way you shoot it
feels really intentional.
727
00:29:37,843 --> 00:29:39,778
Like, you'll hold some shots
for a long...
728
00:29:39,878 --> 00:29:41,980
Sometimes it feels
like you want us
729
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:43,548
to feel a certain kind of way.
730
00:29:43,648 --> 00:29:45,617
Like, have you ever worked
in a shitty office?
731
00:29:45,717 --> 00:29:46,985
-That's what I wondered.
-I...
732
00:29:47,085 --> 00:29:49,855
You know, I have...
I have worked as an intern.
733
00:29:49,955 --> 00:29:52,758
The worst job I had was...
Actually, it wasn't that bad.
734
00:29:52,858 --> 00:29:55,293
I was a talent intern
on a talk show.
735
00:29:55,393 --> 00:29:56,828
-So I...
-Oh, that's-that's bad
736
00:29:56,928 --> 00:29:58,296
-depending on the talent.
-Yeah.
737
00:29:58,396 --> 00:30:01,266
So, I had to take care
of the stars who would come in.
738
00:30:01,366 --> 00:30:03,235
This was when I was in college
in California
739
00:30:03,335 --> 00:30:04,469
on a show called
Thicke of the Night.
740
00:30:04,569 --> 00:30:05,937
Alan Thicke had a talk show.
741
00:30:06,037 --> 00:30:08,406
And, um, so I'd, like,
walk Charlton Heston to his car.
742
00:30:08,507 --> 00:30:11,810
-Wow. -Yeah. Or I'd lend
Rick Ducommun, the comedian,
743
00:30:11,910 --> 00:30:14,079
20 bucks
and then never get it back.
744
00:30:14,179 --> 00:30:16,047
-Um...
-(laughter)
745
00:30:16,148 --> 00:30:17,416
So, and that's the clo...
746
00:30:17,516 --> 00:30:18,617
I mean,
I worked in a camera store,
747
00:30:18,717 --> 00:30:19,818
but I never worked
in that office...
748
00:30:19,918 --> 00:30:21,219
Sort of, like,
that drudgery of...
749
00:30:21,319 --> 00:30:22,988
-You... -It's mo...
mainly from watching television.
750
00:30:23,088 --> 00:30:25,223
-You capture it. Like, it feels
like cubicles... -Yeah.
751
00:30:25,323 --> 00:30:27,426
I think Dan...
Dan, the writer, did that.
752
00:30:27,526 --> 00:30:29,194
-Oh, okay. Right.
-He worked many of those jobs,
753
00:30:29,294 --> 00:30:32,097
and he took his frustration,
and he put it all into his work.
754
00:30:32,197 --> 00:30:33,298
-You feel it.
-Yeah, yeah.
755
00:30:33,398 --> 00:30:34,666
That's what you...
When you watch the show,
756
00:30:34,766 --> 00:30:36,268
you go like, "Oh, yeah,
this reminds me of it."
757
00:30:36,368 --> 00:30:38,870
'Cause I... Like, my mom worked
most of her life in an office,
758
00:30:38,970 --> 00:30:41,440
and then she couldn't afford,
like, childcare or whatever,
759
00:30:41,540 --> 00:30:43,275
so she'd put me under the desk
like a puppy.
760
00:30:43,375 --> 00:30:45,010
-Right. -And then...
No, I'd come back from school,
761
00:30:45,110 --> 00:30:46,745
and then I'd be, like,
under the desk. It was great.
762
00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:48,246
Don't worry about me.
It's not like I was struggling.
763
00:30:48,346 --> 00:30:49,614
-I was having a great time.
-Yeah.
764
00:30:49,714 --> 00:30:51,483
But I just remember, like,
watching everyone
765
00:30:51,583 --> 00:30:52,884
in those cubicles,
and I was like,
766
00:30:52,984 --> 00:30:54,820
"This is... Is this life?
Is this..."
767
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:56,755
-Right.
-And the way you-you captured...
768
00:30:56,855 --> 00:30:58,657
What... I would love to know
769
00:30:58,757 --> 00:31:01,393
what you're trying
to make us feel as the audience.
770
00:31:01,493 --> 00:31:04,663
Well, you know, for me,
it's honestly, these characters
771
00:31:04,763 --> 00:31:06,064
are human beings who are put
772
00:31:06,164 --> 00:31:08,600
-in this really weird,
abnormal situation. -Mm-hmm.
773
00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:10,602
And it's kind of like any--
774
00:31:10,702 --> 00:31:13,338
You know, I-I did a prison,
uh, show before this,
775
00:31:13,438 --> 00:31:15,640
and it's kind of similar
in that people are gonna be
776
00:31:15,740 --> 00:31:17,042
human beings, no matter what--
777
00:31:17,142 --> 00:31:18,477
-you know, what environment
you're in. -That's true.
778
00:31:18,577 --> 00:31:20,579
So there's a humanity
to these characters
779
00:31:20,679 --> 00:31:22,114
who don't know who they are,
780
00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:23,515
-don't know... Yeah. -They start
developing their humanity,
781
00:31:23,615 --> 00:31:25,117
-in fact. Yeah. -Exactly.
They're almost like children.
782
00:31:25,217 --> 00:31:28,253
Because they've only been
cognizant for a few years.
783
00:31:28,353 --> 00:31:30,188
So they're trying
to figure out who they are.
784
00:31:30,288 --> 00:31:31,456
And I think
that's really interesting.
785
00:31:31,556 --> 00:31:33,992
Also, the idea of, like,
what memories and emotions
786
00:31:34,092 --> 00:31:35,694
can seep through
if you're severed.
787
00:31:35,794 --> 00:31:38,363
Because, you know, d-- is--
does love transcend severance?
788
00:31:38,463 --> 00:31:40,132
-Yeah. -Right, right.
Do you remember those things?
789
00:31:40,232 --> 00:31:41,900
-Right. -So-so does this mean
we've lost you
790
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:43,301
as Ben Stiller the comedy guy?
791
00:31:43,401 --> 00:31:45,403
Um, n-no. No.
792
00:31:45,504 --> 00:31:46,938
-I didn't like that there was
an "um." -(stammers)
793
00:31:47,038 --> 00:31:48,740
-No, I was just thinking about
how I... -Like, a straight no
794
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:50,242
-immediately.
-You're gonna edit that out,
795
00:31:50,342 --> 00:31:51,743
-when I walk out, right?
-Yeah, the falling--
796
00:31:51,843 --> 00:31:53,845
-no one's gonna see that. No one
will see that. -Um, cool. Uh...
797
00:31:53,945 --> 00:31:55,680
You have.
There's no more comedy guy.
798
00:31:55,781 --> 00:31:58,817
Um, no, I-I think-- I love
acting and I love doing comedy.
799
00:31:58,917 --> 00:32:01,787
It's just been a while since
I've actually decided to do it.
800
00:32:01,887 --> 00:32:03,355
I'd love to do it in the future.
801
00:32:03,455 --> 00:32:05,190
It's just kind of figuring out
how to, you know...
802
00:32:05,290 --> 00:32:06,725
-how to jump back in.
-You know when I felt
803
00:32:06,825 --> 00:32:09,327
like you were in a--
one of your own comedy movies
804
00:32:09,428 --> 00:32:10,862
is when-- there's
that clip that went viral
805
00:32:10,962 --> 00:32:13,165
of you with the-the
Australian tennis player.
806
00:32:13,265 --> 00:32:14,800
-You're right. -Right? I
don't know if you've seen this.
807
00:32:14,900 --> 00:32:16,401
-And people misconstrue
what's happening. -Yeah.
808
00:32:16,501 --> 00:32:18,537
'Cause I think he was talking
to someone else in the crowd.
809
00:32:18,637 --> 00:32:20,071
It was the weirdest thing. Yeah.
810
00:32:20,172 --> 00:32:22,674
So we were, like, in the front
row. It's Indian Wells tennis.
811
00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:25,377
And, um, basically,
what happened was,
812
00:32:25,477 --> 00:32:27,546
-uh, it was Nick Kyrgios.
He was... -Yes.
813
00:32:27,646 --> 00:32:29,748
-He talks to himself a lot
during the matches. -Yes.
814
00:32:29,848 --> 00:32:31,917
And he kept on saying, "Oh, man,
get your first serve in.
815
00:32:32,017 --> 00:32:33,752
Get your first serve in."
And there was an--
816
00:32:33,852 --> 00:32:36,288
a gentleman next to me
who decided,
817
00:32:36,388 --> 00:32:37,656
when he started to serve,
to tell him,
818
00:32:37,756 --> 00:32:39,424
-"Yeah, get your first serve
in." -(laughs)
819
00:32:39,524 --> 00:32:41,426
And so Nick Kyrgios,
like, turns, he goes,
820
00:32:41,526 --> 00:32:43,628
"What are--
Why-why are you talking to me?
821
00:32:43,728 --> 00:32:45,664
Do you play tennis?
Are you a good tennis player?"
822
00:32:45,764 --> 00:32:46,965
And the guy's like, "No."
823
00:32:47,065 --> 00:32:48,567
And then he looks--
he looks at me and he goes,
824
00:32:48,667 --> 00:32:50,735
"Do I tell him how to act?"
825
00:32:51,703 --> 00:32:53,839
And I'm, like...
And I didn't even quite hear it,
826
00:32:53,939 --> 00:32:55,140
so I thought
he might've been talking to me.
827
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:57,375
-I didn't-- It was so weird.
-(laughs)
828
00:32:57,476 --> 00:32:59,945
And then that was it. And then,
apparently, it went viral.
829
00:33:00,045 --> 00:33:02,414
-Yeah. -Oh, no. Everywhere.
So-so, some people understood
830
00:33:02,514 --> 00:33:04,750
what was happening, but other--
most people thought
831
00:33:04,850 --> 00:33:06,918
-that you had beef with
a tennis player now. -Exactly.
832
00:33:07,018 --> 00:33:08,887
And the thing is, you're just
sitting there, like, smiling.
833
00:33:08,987 --> 00:33:10,555
Like, it literally looked like
a scene from one of your movies.
834
00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:11,890
I know.
And I didn't know what to do.
835
00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:13,658
'Cause everybody's telling me,
"Oh, Nick Kyrgios
836
00:33:13,759 --> 00:33:16,928
really let you have it."
I'm like, "No. I don't know.
837
00:33:17,028 --> 00:33:18,130
I think he's good."
838
00:33:18,230 --> 00:33:20,832
Oh, man.
Um, y-your life has been,
839
00:33:20,932 --> 00:33:22,434
I mean, a constant journey,
840
00:33:22,534 --> 00:33:23,602
that we've shared with you,
by the way.
841
00:33:23,702 --> 00:33:25,003
Thank you for everything
you've done for it.
842
00:33:25,103 --> 00:33:26,204
-Thank you for making us laugh.
-Oh, wow. -(cheering)
843
00:33:26,304 --> 00:33:29,274
You know, thank you
for brightening our days.
844
00:33:29,374 --> 00:33:30,575
-Um...
-Thank you.
845
00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:32,077
It's a pleasure seeing you.
846
00:33:32,177 --> 00:33:33,745
-Congratulations on an amazing
show. -It's great to see you.
847
00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:36,014
Wonderful having you here. Thank
you so much for being here.
848
00:33:36,114 --> 00:33:37,549
(cheering and applause)
849
00:33:37,649 --> 00:33:39,818
Season one of Severance
is available to stream
850
00:33:39,918 --> 00:33:41,253
on Apple TV+.
851
00:33:41,353 --> 00:33:43,488
I promise you, I promise you
you're gonna love it.
852
00:33:43,588 --> 00:33:44,956
All right,
we're gonna take a quick break,
853
00:33:45,056 --> 00:33:46,825
but we'll be right back
after this.
854
00:33:46,925 --> 00:33:48,760
Yeah, man. Thank you. For real.
855
00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:51,096
Such a pleasure, man.
Thank you so much.
856
00:33:51,196 --> 00:33:52,531
(applause)
857
00:33:54,632 --> 00:33:56,667
(cheering and applause)
858
00:33:57,868 --> 00:33:59,170
Well, that's our show
for tonight,
859
00:33:59,270 --> 00:34:02,072
but before we go,
the UN Refugee Agency
860
00:34:02,173 --> 00:34:04,041
has stepped up operations
in Ukraine
861
00:34:04,141 --> 00:34:06,744
and neighboring countries
to help the millions of people
862
00:34:06,844 --> 00:34:08,012
who have been forced to flee.
863
00:34:08,112 --> 00:34:10,347
So if you can,
please donate at the link below
864
00:34:10,447 --> 00:34:12,850
to help provide
lifesaving protection
865
00:34:12,950 --> 00:34:14,251
to Ukrainian refugees.
866
00:34:14,351 --> 00:34:16,153
Until tomorrow,
stay safe out there.
867
00:34:16,253 --> 00:34:18,189
And, remember,
if you're a Russian
868
00:34:18,289 --> 00:34:20,391
who doesn't want
your Chanel bags,
869
00:34:20,491 --> 00:34:22,259
send them to me. I'll cut them.
870
00:34:22,359 --> 00:34:23,360
I'll cut them for you.
871
00:34:23,460 --> 00:34:25,796
Now here it is,
Your Moment of Zen.
872
00:34:25,896 --> 00:34:27,932
♪ ♪
873
00:34:30,467 --> 00:34:32,369
NEWSWOMAN:
It's a loo with a view.
874
00:34:32,469 --> 00:34:34,738
This bathroom
is at a Japanese café,
875
00:34:34,839 --> 00:34:38,676
and it's going viral because
it is surrounded by an aquarium.
876
00:34:38,776 --> 00:34:40,010
Look at that. How cool.
877
00:34:40,110 --> 00:34:42,947
Can you imagine if a fish
just locks eyes with you though?
878
00:34:43,047 --> 00:34:44,982
You're like--
Then you get stage fright.
879
00:34:45,082 --> 00:34:46,717
Yeah! You're like--
Then I'm not going!
880
00:34:46,817 --> 00:34:48,619
Then I'm like,
"I can't go now."