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Hello there. You're about
to watch an episode
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of The Daily Show.
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That means there's some news
and some jokes on the way.
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So if you like laughing
and news,
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you're in the right
(bleep) place, honey.
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ANNOUNCER: Coming to you
from New York City,
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the only city in America,
it's The Daily Show.
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Tonight-- math is racist,
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00:00:24,424 --> 00:00:28,161
why Tax Day is weird,
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00:00:28,262 --> 00:00:29,897
and Janelle Monáe.
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This is The Daily Show
with Trevor Noah.
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(applause and cheering)
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Welcome, everybody.
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Welcome to The Daily Show.
I'm Trevor Noah.
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Thank you so much
for tuning in.
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Thank you for coming out
in person.
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(applause and cheering
swelling)
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Good to see you.
Good to see your faces.
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Half your faces. All right,
take a seat, everybody.
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We've got a fun show
for you today.
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Ronny Chieng is going
to be telling you
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why you're doing your taxes
all wrong.
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So it's gonna be just like
the IRS, but funny.
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Plus, the amazing Janelle
Monáe is joining us on the show.
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And this time,
not for music or a new book.
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No, she just released
a book of short stories.
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Yeah, which is amazing,
right? Yeah.
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And in case you're confused,
it's not stories
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about short things,
but rather short stories
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about things. All right.
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The things can be long, but
the stories are always short.
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Anyway, I've said enough.
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Let's jump straight
into today's headlines.
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-(applause and cheering)
-♪ ♪
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Okay, people, let's kick things
off with the big education news.
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By now, you've all heard
about how school systems
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across the U.S. are banning
critical race theory.
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And if you're still not sure
what critical race theory is,
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-don't worry. Neither are the
people banning it. -(laughter)
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Now, the state of Florida
has announced
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that it's officially
begun its purge
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of all things CRT,
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but some of the targets have
taken people by surprise.
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The Florida Department
of Education is making waves
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after rejecting 41%
of submitted math textbooks
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because of touchy
and prohibited subjects.
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The state says more than 50 of
those books include references
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to critical race theory, among
other things like common core,
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and therefore, are prohibited
under the new standards.
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CRT teachings-- they were
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banned from Florida's
classrooms last year.
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NEWSWOMAN 2: Orange County
Classroom Teachers Association
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President Wendy Doromal says
she's baffled.
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I can't imagine
what is in a math textbook
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that would indoctrinate a child.
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I'd really would love
to see some of these
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rejected books and see
what they highlighted.
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-Yeah, so would I.
-(laughter)
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Because I mean,
this makes no...
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Florida is banning
math textbooks
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because the state says
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that they teach
critical race theory.
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And I'll be honest.
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I don't even understand
how that works. I don't.
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Like, I get finding
critical race theory
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in history books
or-or social studies.
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But math? How? How?
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"Well, think about it, Trevor.
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"Algebra is just a bunch
of numbers
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that rejected their slave names
and now go by 'X.'"
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(laughter)
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How?
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"Yeah, Trevor. Also, numbers
can be very triggering
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"for white people.
Think about it.
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"Whenever a Black man dunks
on a white man,
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"what's on his shirt?
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That's right. Numbers!"
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And don't get me started on
the violence inherent in math.
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I'll never forget the day
seven eight nine.
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(laughter)
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Scarred me for life.
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I'll be honest, man.
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I don't know what Florida is
trying to do here, you know?
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But any sane person can agree,
this is getting out of control.
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I mean, it was bad before,
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but this is getting out
of control
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because now it just feels like
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the state sees
critical race theory everywhere,
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in everything. You know, it's
almost like a hypochondriac.
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It's just like "This milkshake
is critical race theory!"
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"What?" "Yeah. Look!
It's trying to tell us
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"that the white part
is keeping the brown man down!
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Well, maybe the chocolate
just needs to work harder!"
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"Maybe you need to relax,
my man."
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Also, think about this.
Let's play with the logic.
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If they were trying
to sneak CRT into the schools,
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-why would they do it with math?
-(laughter)
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Math textbooks would be
the worst place to do it.
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Because who remembers anything
they learned in math, huh? Huh?
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Do you remember
how to use a hypotenuse, huh?
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Do you? If I said
nobody leaves this studio--
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no one-- until you show me
how a hypotenuse works...
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We're dying here, people.
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We're all dead.
They're just gonna find corpses.
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Nobody remembers math
from school. Nobody.
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Even Liam Neeson.
His particular set of skills
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did not include hypotenuse.
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Yeah, just like, "I will
find you and I will kill you."
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They're like, "Well, first
you have to solve math problem."
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"Uh...
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Uh, it's fine,
I'll find another daughter."
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You know, I actually wish--
I actually wish
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there was CRT in math textbooks,
I actually do, yeah.
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Because then we could have
solved racism by now
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just by cheating and
going to the back of the book
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with all the answers
in it, you know?
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Just be at the back and be like,
"What is it...
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"'A Black Batman.'
Oh, my God!
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Why didn't I think of that?"
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All right, but let's move on
from that madness in Florida
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to something that's affecting
all of us: inflation.
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Thanks to inflation,
practically every company
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is raising their prices
right now. Yeah.
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For instance, here in New York,
a lot of dollar pizza places
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are now charging $1.25.
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Yeah, no, no,
you-you think it's minor,
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but it's actually a nightmare.
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Because now you either
have to carry around
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an extra quarter with you
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or you got to give the guy
two dollars,
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and now you're carrying around
three quarters all day. Huh?
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What am I supposed
to do with that, huh?
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Do you see slot machines out on
the streets of New York, huh?
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You're killing me!
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But everyone's raising prices,
everyone. Even Amazon.
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They've just announced
that they're charging
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an extra five percent
inflation fee to its merchants,
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who will presumably pass that
extra cost on to the customers,
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which, I'm sorry, people,
is bullshit. All right?
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Because Amazon made $33 billion
in profit last year.
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If there's any company
that can do, like,
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just a little to absorb the cost
of inflation, it's them.
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You know, Amazon,
if you're trying to save money,
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next time I buy a toothbrush,
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maybe don't package it
in a cardboard box
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the side of a minivan, huh?
Maybe some...
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you save something.
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You seen the size of the boxes?
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Got a giant box
for a tiny thing,
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now I've got to
take time off to fold it,
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put it in my recycling,
and I'm sad
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'cause I thought
someone bought me a car.
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Now, now, get this.
According to a new report--
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and this is
really sinister, man--
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some companies
aren't just raising prices
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to keep up with inflation. No.
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These slick assholes
are using inflation
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as an excuse to gouge
their customers
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and make even
more profits than before.
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Because, you see, they know they
can get away with it right now.
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Think about it.
A year ago, if you saw that
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the price of something
shot up out of nowhere,
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you'd get mad at the company.
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But now, when you're paying
$100 for detergent,
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you just think it's inflation
and you curse Joe Biden.
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It's brilliant.
It's brilliant.
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And here's how you know-- here's
how you know that companies
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don't have to
raise their prices.
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They don't have to.
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Because one company
is refusing to,
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and they're still getting rich.
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You go to the supermarket,
you look just around,
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and you know that
nearly all products
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are getting more expensive.
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Except Arizona iced tea.
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The beverage is staying
99 cents a bottle
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regardless of
the rising inflation cost.
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The company's founder
and chairman says
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he is not budging on price
on principal.
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the company is privately owned.
The owner is absorbing
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the higher cost of everything,
including the aluminum
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that the can, uh,
that the iced tea is in.
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And they're making
cuts in other areas.
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NEWSWOMAN: Don Vultaggio,
Arizona's 70-year-old founder
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and chairman,
told The Los Angeles Times...
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Yeah. Yeah.
-(cheering, applause)
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That's exactly what
I'm talking about, you see?
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You don't have to squeeze
every last dollar
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out of your customers.
This guy's
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keeping his product
99 cents despite inflation
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and he even puts it on the can
so the store can't mark it up.
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Yeah, as opposed to
Florida iced tea,
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which does not
put its price on the can...
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'cause those numbers
are critical race theory.
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And, you know, I, like,
it's so rare to see a company
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that's just like,
"You know what,
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"we make enough money. Yeah.
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We don't need our
customers to suffer."
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I bet Snapple could do that too
if they didn't
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waste so much money
researching those dumb facts.
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I-- Guys-- I'm here
to fill my body
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with a month's worth of sugar,
not to learn.
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Gonna put information on the
inside. I got a sugar high. Aah!
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And let me tell you something.
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If this Arizona iced tea company
can do this,
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00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:06,079
then a company like Amazon
has no excuse. Yeah.
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In fact, you know what I think?
You know what I think?
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I think we should all
boycott Amazon. Yeah.
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And only order... only order,
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like, three things a day
instead of five.
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Yeah. Make them feel the pain.
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And obviously,
if you need something...
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If you need something,
you should still order it.
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I mean, no matter what. Like...
No, I mean, there's no need
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00:09:20,494 --> 00:09:21,795
to run out of, like,
bubble bath bombs.
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00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,630
That goes without saying.
But aside from that,
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00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:27,034
total boycott of more
than three things per day.
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Yeah. I should put "activist"
in my bio.
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(laughter and applause)
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All right, and finally,
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this was a big weekend,
a really big weekend
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for a lot of people
all over the world.
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Because, you see,
you had Easter,
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Passover and Ramadan
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all at the same time.
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Yeah. It was basically
the Coachella of religion.
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And if you celebrate Easter,
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you probably know
that it marks the end of Lent,
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a 40-day period
when many Christians
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give up a personal pleasure
or a luxury
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as a form of spiritual devotion.
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00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,935
And typically,
people who observe Lent,
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00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:04,938
like, they give up something
like sweets or alcohol.
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00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:07,808
But this year,
one church came up
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00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:11,478
with a much more innovative form
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00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:12,779
of sacrifice.
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00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,315
A church in Illinois
fasting from whiteness
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00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:16,984
to observe Lent.
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00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:18,752
Lent, of course,
a Christian tradition
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00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,387
that involves
giving up something
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00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:22,122
for 40 days ahead of Easter.
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00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:24,424
And First United Church
of Oak Park
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00:10:24,525 --> 00:10:27,594
chose to give up white music,
meaning they aren't playing
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00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:29,563
any music
written by white people.
245
00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:32,099
The church released a statement
saying that the goal
246
00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:34,768
was to lay aside
usual frames of reference
247
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:37,004
and open the floor
to voices of Black people,
248
00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:39,773
Indigenous people
and people of color.
249
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:43,544
This has been a season
of the best church
250
00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:45,145
that I can remember.
251
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:47,214
(laughter and applause)
252
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,449
Oh, man.
253
00:10:49,550 --> 00:10:51,118
Oh, you can see his face.
254
00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:53,854
Like, "The best ever of all..."
255
00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,022
That's right, Reverend.
256
00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:56,490
Of course
this was the best season.
257
00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:59,893
You guys were rocking out
to Black music this whole time.
258
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,161
Of course it was...
259
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:04,097
Yo, what seems
like a more fun church service?
260
00:11:04,198 --> 00:11:05,465
This?
261
00:11:05,566 --> 00:11:07,601
(choir harmonizing)
262
00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:13,607
Or this?
263
00:11:13,707 --> 00:11:15,609
(upbeat music playing)
264
00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:17,744
(cheering and applause)
265
00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:26,320
You see?
You feel the spirit right now!
266
00:11:27,621 --> 00:11:29,556
You know, they say
they're doing this for Lent,
267
00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:31,391
but you realize
now that they discovered this,
268
00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:33,627
they don't have to go back
to boring songs, right?
269
00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:35,095
No, you don't have to.
270
00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:36,496
They said it was the best.
The reverend said
271
00:11:36,597 --> 00:11:38,498
this is the best service
they could remember.
272
00:11:38,599 --> 00:11:41,401
So why change it?
Make all your music Black music.
273
00:11:41,502 --> 00:11:43,337
Yeah. I mean, just be careful,
though. Just be careful.
274
00:11:43,437 --> 00:11:46,173
Not every Black song
works in church.
275
00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:47,741
(laughter)
276
00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:51,311
♪ Gobble me, swallow me ♪
277
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:55,115
♪ Drip down the side of me ♪
278
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:57,351
♪ WAP, WAP, WAP, WAP ♪
279
00:11:57,451 --> 00:11:59,853
♪ Wet-ass pussy. ♪
280
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,788
(vocalizing)
281
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:03,924
(laughter and applause)
282
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,261
(cheering and applause)
283
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,569
And while we're talking
about church music,
284
00:12:15,669 --> 00:12:17,938
there's a video--
you probably saw it--
285
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,207
that went viral this weekend,
all right?
286
00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:24,111
It's of a youth pastor
who's on a flight,
287
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:27,848
and he decided with, like,
I guess his band members
288
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:29,583
to surprise
everyone on the flight
289
00:12:29,683 --> 00:12:32,085
with an impromptu performance.
290
00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:33,520
NEWSMAN:
This in-flight video
291
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:35,822
is getting a lot of attention
on social media
292
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:38,125
with commenters wondering
if other passengers
293
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:40,727
were okay with the performance.
Watch this.
294
00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:45,699
♪ Great is our God ♪
295
00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,801
♪ Sing with me ♪
296
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:50,103
♪ You're the name ♪
297
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:53,740
♪ Above all names... ♪
298
00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:56,109
A youth pastor shared
this video of a group of people
299
00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:59,179
singing Christian songs earlier
this month obviously on a plane.
300
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,849
Of course, everybody zeroed in
on this one dude.
301
00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:04,117
-Let's just see the picture
of the man. -NEWSWOMAN: Yes.
302
00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:06,253
(laughter and applause)
303
00:13:08,422 --> 00:13:11,592
Oh, man, that dude
was not having a good time.
304
00:13:11,692 --> 00:13:13,093
Do you see his face?
305
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:14,928
That's the look
of someone thinking,
306
00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:17,831
"Oh, where's bin Laden
when you need him?
307
00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:20,300
Oh, man."
308
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,202
And he's not the only one
who felt that way.
309
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,470
A lot of people online
310
00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:24,905
are saying
that it is inappropriate
311
00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:27,241
for a group
to randomly start playing music
312
00:13:27,341 --> 00:13:28,742
in the middle of a flight,
and some people...
313
00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:31,545
some people were even more angry
that it was religious music.
314
00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:33,080
They're saying,
"You can't do this.
315
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:34,147
You can't just bring religion
for everybody on the plane."
316
00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:35,482
But, guys,
317
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,484
honestly, in my opinion,
318
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:40,621
I think the most logical place
for religious songs
319
00:13:40,721 --> 00:13:42,489
is on a plane.
320
00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:45,692
Yeah. I don't care who you are--
that's where you need God.
321
00:13:47,361 --> 00:13:49,530
Because who the hell knows
how to fly planes, huh?
322
00:13:49,630 --> 00:13:52,099
Who even knows how planes work?
323
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,601
There's only, like,
two people on the entire plane
324
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:55,702
who know how that thing works.
325
00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:57,171
I mean really know.
326
00:13:57,271 --> 00:13:59,473
Two people. If they get diarrhea
at the same time,
327
00:13:59,573 --> 00:14:00,607
we're all dead.
328
00:14:01,575 --> 00:14:03,076
We're gone.
329
00:14:03,177 --> 00:14:04,344
Yeah, on the ground,
you can believe
330
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:05,445
whatever you want to believe.
331
00:14:05,546 --> 00:14:07,614
But in the sky,
we're all religious.
332
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:10,250
All of-- I don't care who you--
333
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,286
I've seen
people check in as atheists.
334
00:14:12,386 --> 00:14:14,054
Ah, they got all the swag
at the check-in.
335
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:15,322
"I don't believe in God."
336
00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:17,224
Yeah. Then, in the air,
the right turbulence hits
337
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:18,692
and then, all of a sudden,
it's like, "Oh, Jesus.
338
00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:20,761
"Oh, please, Jesus, please.
Jesus, please.
339
00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:23,397
"I'll never masturbate
ever again. Please.
340
00:14:23,497 --> 00:14:24,831
Please!"
341
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:28,068
You know who you are.
342
00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:29,236
All right,
that's it for the headlines.
343
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:30,871
But before we go to a break,
let's check in
344
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:33,207
on the stock market
with our very own Michael Kosta,
345
00:14:33,307 --> 00:14:35,342
-everybody!
-(cheering and applause)
346
00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:38,645
Good to see you, Mike.
347
00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:41,615
It's, uh...
it's been crazy out there.
348
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:42,683
Uh, what's going on
with the market today?
349
00:14:42,783 --> 00:14:44,885
Dude, I am crushing the market.
350
00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:47,187
I mean, and...
I am crushing the market.
351
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:48,422
I got a hot tip for you
352
00:14:48,522 --> 00:14:50,090
and I got a hot tip
for all you as well.
353
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:51,458
I don't usually share it.
But hot tip for you.
354
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,293
-Okay. -But first
I want to talk to you.
355
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,629
-That music on the airplane.
Right? -Yeah.
356
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:58,131
I mean, how did that guy even
get a full guitar back there
357
00:14:58,232 --> 00:14:59,766
as his carry-on,
you know what I mean?
358
00:14:59,867 --> 00:15:00,834
I'm not even allowed to have
359
00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:02,836
a six-ounce bottle
of Dasani water?
360
00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:05,205
And he's got a whole gu-- Maybe
I should start putting my water
361
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:07,674
in the guitar. You know?
362
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:10,377
Is that what coach is like,
back there?
363
00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:12,613
(laughing)
364
00:15:12,713 --> 00:15:13,847
Okay, okay.
365
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:16,183
Look, as a warning to everybody,
366
00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:18,919
we don't want
what happens on the subway
367
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:21,555
to start happening
on the airplane, right?
368
00:15:21,655 --> 00:15:22,956
People play music on the subway.
369
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,725
We shouldn't have that
on the airplane.
370
00:15:24,825 --> 00:15:26,727
People start break-dancing
on the subway.
371
00:15:26,827 --> 00:15:28,061
We don't need that
on the airplane.
372
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:29,696
People hold the door open
for their friend.
373
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,064
Do that on an airplane,
374
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:33,267
we're all gonna get sucked out
at 30,000 feet.
375
00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:34,868
Look. Right?
376
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,336
-Okay. -That's very valid.
Yeah. It really i...
377
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,972
Oh, and here's the other thing
about that Amazon story, Trevor.
378
00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:42,075
-Okay? They're gonna raise
our prices? -Inflation?
379
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:43,544
Here's an idea for Amazon--
380
00:15:43,644 --> 00:15:46,280
why don't, i-instead
of delivering all our goods
381
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:49,183
to each of us, put it all
in one central location
382
00:15:49,283 --> 00:15:52,719
and then we'll all go
to that central location,
383
00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:54,354
okay, bring the whole family.
384
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,590
Maybe put a movie theater there.
385
00:15:57,991 --> 00:15:59,793
You could have
different types of food
386
00:15:59,893 --> 00:16:01,728
and-and they would battle it out
for our business.
387
00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:04,631
It'd be like a food court,
so to speak.
388
00:16:05,766 --> 00:16:08,168
Uh, I-I think that's a mall.
389
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:10,504
'Em all? That's a great name.
390
00:16:10,604 --> 00:16:12,606
So-- 'Cause-'cause
it's got 'em all right there.
391
00:16:12,706 --> 00:16:14,741
That's why you get to sit down.
I get it.
392
00:16:14,842 --> 00:16:16,543
-I get it. It's a good name.
-Just tell us
393
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,412
-what's happening in the market.
-Look, look, I'm cru--
394
00:16:18,512 --> 00:16:20,380
-I'm crushing the market, okay?
All right. -Okay.
395
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:24,051
So, um, now, my high school
cut a lot of its math programs
396
00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,052
and math books.
397
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:27,187
So, to me,
398
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:29,523
this is just a lot of letters
on a chart.
399
00:16:29,623 --> 00:16:31,859
But there is something
I'm seeing.
400
00:16:31,959 --> 00:16:34,394
You see this right here?
This S&P, 'kay?
401
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,964
That means "salt and pepper,"
all right?
402
00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:39,066
Everyone uses salt and pepper.
403
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:41,201
Everyone's gonna continue
to use salt and pepper.
404
00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:44,104
So I would buy S&P,
salt and pepper, big-time.
405
00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:46,073
There you go, Trevor.
That's the hot tip.
406
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:48,475
(laughter, applause)
407
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:50,544
You want some money,
you're welcome.
408
00:16:50,644 --> 00:16:51,845
Thank-thank you, Michael.
409
00:16:51,945 --> 00:16:53,247
You're welcome.
410
00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:55,115
Like, I'm-I'm starting
to wonder about your expertise.
411
00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:56,517
All right, when we come back,
412
00:16:56,617 --> 00:16:58,485
Ronny Chieng
is gonna be talking about money.
413
00:16:58,585 --> 00:16:59,753
You don't want to miss it.
414
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,188
-(cheering and applause)
-That's not...
415
00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:03,323
that's not "salt and pepper."
416
00:17:10,645 --> 00:17:13,682
(applause and cheering)
417
00:17:18,220 --> 00:17:20,655
Welcome back
to The Daily Show.
418
00:17:20,755 --> 00:17:24,793
Income tax-- it's the reason
they threw Blade in jail.
419
00:17:24,893 --> 00:17:26,761
Today is Tax Day here
in the United States,
420
00:17:26,862 --> 00:17:29,097
and the IRS deadline
has Ronny Chieng thinking
421
00:17:29,197 --> 00:17:31,233
about America's
weird relationship with money
422
00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:35,103
in another installment of
"America, WTF."
423
00:17:35,203 --> 00:17:37,806
♪ ♪
424
00:17:44,079 --> 00:17:45,514
I love America.
425
00:17:45,614 --> 00:17:47,983
It's the only country
where you can get a burger
426
00:17:48,083 --> 00:17:50,719
and a liposuction
at the same drive-thru.
427
00:17:50,819 --> 00:17:53,321
But as someone who's also lived
all around the world,
428
00:17:53,421 --> 00:17:56,158
I feel a responsibility
to let America know
429
00:17:56,258 --> 00:17:58,460
that a lot of the things
it does are super weird
430
00:17:58,560 --> 00:17:59,861
to the rest of us.
431
00:17:59,961 --> 00:18:03,098
And one of those things
is how America does money.
432
00:18:03,198 --> 00:18:04,800
♪ ♪
433
00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:07,002
It's tax season
which, right off the bat,
434
00:18:07,102 --> 00:18:09,337
is a sign
that something is wrong, okay?
435
00:18:09,437 --> 00:18:11,907
Because taxes
shouldn't have a whole season.
436
00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:13,842
Seasons are supposed to be
for exciting stuff,
437
00:18:13,942 --> 00:18:16,578
like baseball season
or wedding season
438
00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:19,014
or season two of Bridgerton.
439
00:18:19,114 --> 00:18:20,549
I can't wait to see
which British person
440
00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:22,451
is jizzing on who this time.
441
00:18:22,551 --> 00:18:25,220
But America decided
that filing taxes should be
442
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,688
as quick and painless
443
00:18:26,788 --> 00:18:29,224
as getting a root canal
at the DMV.
444
00:18:29,324 --> 00:18:33,795
I mean, you got your 1099s,
you got your form 1040s,
445
00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,096
you got your schedule Cs.
446
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:36,765
You got your R2-D2s.
447
00:18:36,865 --> 00:18:38,567
You got your Blink-182s.
448
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,402
You spend days trying
to figure out
449
00:18:40,502 --> 00:18:41,803
what you owe the government,
450
00:18:41,903 --> 00:18:43,939
and then the government
tells you if you're right
451
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:46,341
because apparently, they knew
the whole frigging time.
452
00:18:46,441 --> 00:18:48,977
It's like the world's
most pointless game show.
453
00:18:49,077 --> 00:18:51,179
Aside from The Price Is Right,
obviously.
454
00:18:51,279 --> 00:18:53,348
Because nobody should get
a new car
455
00:18:53,448 --> 00:18:55,217
for knowing
how much ketchup costs.
456
00:18:55,317 --> 00:18:56,952
Look, I hate to break it
to you guys,
457
00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:58,253
but in a lot of other countries,
458
00:18:58,353 --> 00:19:02,124
the government does all that
filing for you.
459
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:04,860
Yeah, they do the math,
they send you a statement.
460
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:06,828
And if it looks good,
you click "okay,"
461
00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:08,130
and then you're done.
462
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:10,732
It's so easy,
a baby could do it.
463
00:19:10,832 --> 00:19:12,901
But they don't have to
because they're lazy freeloaders
464
00:19:13,001 --> 00:19:14,436
who don't pay taxes.
465
00:19:14,536 --> 00:19:16,037
It's not just your income taxes.
466
00:19:16,138 --> 00:19:18,306
All taxes in America are weird.
467
00:19:18,406 --> 00:19:20,942
In a lot of other countries,
you see a price on something,
468
00:19:21,042 --> 00:19:22,410
and that's how much it costs
469
00:19:22,511 --> 00:19:25,547
because that's the whole point
of a goddamn price.
470
00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:28,383
But no, not in America.
471
00:19:28,483 --> 00:19:29,885
When you pay for something
in America,
472
00:19:29,985 --> 00:19:32,254
they hit you
with a surprise sales tax.
473
00:19:32,354 --> 00:19:33,755
They're basically
catfishing you.
474
00:19:33,855 --> 00:19:37,526
I know that $600 TV looks good,
but it's lying.
475
00:19:37,692 --> 00:19:40,095
It's $650,
and it has a secret family.
476
00:19:40,195 --> 00:19:41,463
But don't get me wrong.
477
00:19:41,563 --> 00:19:44,966
Taxes are far from America's
only insane money issue.
478
00:19:45,066 --> 00:19:47,135
Okay?
I know you guys are used to it,
479
00:19:47,235 --> 00:19:48,837
but I need you to realize
480
00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:52,574
that the way you tip
in this country is not normal.
481
00:19:52,707 --> 00:19:55,544
Everywhere else,
a tip is a show of appreciation,
482
00:19:55,710 --> 00:19:58,814
not a GoFundMe for someone
who doesn't earn a living wage.
483
00:19:58,914 --> 00:20:00,916
A waiter's ability to pay rent
shouldn't depend
484
00:20:01,016 --> 00:20:03,919
on how generous Becky feels
after three martinis.
485
00:20:04,019 --> 00:20:06,721
And the real issue is
how arbitrary your tipping is.
486
00:20:06,822 --> 00:20:09,090
You tip the guy
who delivers your food
487
00:20:09,191 --> 00:20:11,092
but not the guy
who delivers your packages?
488
00:20:11,193 --> 00:20:12,761
And you tip the person
who made your coffee
489
00:20:12,861 --> 00:20:14,796
but not the person
who made your Big Mac.
490
00:20:14,896 --> 00:20:17,265
And don't even get me started
on tip jars.
491
00:20:17,365 --> 00:20:19,334
Okay?
You don't have to put money in,
492
00:20:19,434 --> 00:20:22,270
but if you do, you got to make
a big show of it.
493
00:20:22,370 --> 00:20:24,072
I like to shoot my cash
into the jar
494
00:20:24,172 --> 00:20:25,574
like a basketballer, shouting,
495
00:20:25,674 --> 00:20:28,877
"He tips, he scores!"
496
00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:31,546
If you bank it off the cashier,
they usually notice.
497
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:34,116
But as weird as taxes
and tipping are in America,
498
00:20:34,216 --> 00:20:37,519
let's not forget
about the actual money itself,
499
00:20:37,686 --> 00:20:41,289
because American
physical currency sucks.
500
00:20:41,389 --> 00:20:43,158
I don't know if you know this,
but in other countries,
501
00:20:43,258 --> 00:20:45,527
every denomination
is a different size
502
00:20:45,694 --> 00:20:47,562
because it makes it easier
to tell them apart,
503
00:20:47,696 --> 00:20:49,164
especially if you're blind.
504
00:20:49,264 --> 00:20:51,032
But apparently blind people
505
00:20:51,133 --> 00:20:52,434
don't need to use
money in America,
506
00:20:52,534 --> 00:20:54,569
'cause look at this shit.
507
00:20:54,703 --> 00:20:57,172
Same exact size. All of it.
508
00:20:57,272 --> 00:20:59,207
You got to look over
each individual bill
509
00:20:59,307 --> 00:21:01,743
to figure out
which slave owner to hand over.
510
00:21:01,843 --> 00:21:04,279
And while we're talking
about your strange money,
511
00:21:04,379 --> 00:21:06,982
who decided a pyramid
with a freaking eye
512
00:21:07,082 --> 00:21:09,017
was a normal thing
to put on the dollar?
513
00:21:09,117 --> 00:21:10,852
Hey, rule of thumb, America--
514
00:21:10,952 --> 00:21:13,388
if Nick Cage can make a movie
about your money,
515
00:21:13,488 --> 00:21:14,990
you're doing it wrong.
516
00:21:15,090 --> 00:21:16,691
Not to mention the pennies.
517
00:21:16,792 --> 00:21:17,959
Like, why do these still exist
518
00:21:18,059 --> 00:21:19,995
when everyone's just trying
to get rid of 'em?
519
00:21:20,095 --> 00:21:21,830
Even convenience stores have
that "take a penny,
520
00:21:21,930 --> 00:21:23,131
leave a penny" dish.
521
00:21:23,231 --> 00:21:25,834
It's like an animal shelter
for unwanted money.
522
00:21:25,934 --> 00:21:28,370
Did you know that America
actually loses money
523
00:21:28,470 --> 00:21:30,138
making pennies?
524
00:21:30,238 --> 00:21:32,507
If you're gonna have a hobby
that loses you money,
525
00:21:32,674 --> 00:21:35,243
get a gambling addiction,
like a normal person.
526
00:21:35,343 --> 00:21:37,913
'Kay? Listen, your whole
financial system's stupid
527
00:21:38,013 --> 00:21:39,114
and I hate it, all right?
528
00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:41,983
The money, the tipping,
the taxes.
529
00:21:42,083 --> 00:21:43,518
That's why I found a way
530
00:21:43,685 --> 00:21:46,021
to avoid dealing with it
altogether.
531
00:21:46,121 --> 00:21:47,055
All right?
(chuckles)
532
00:21:47,155 --> 00:21:49,224
The secret is,
they can't tax you
533
00:21:49,324 --> 00:21:51,293
if they don't know you have it.
534
00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:53,428
(alarm ringing)
535
00:21:55,897 --> 00:21:56,965
(groans)
536
00:21:57,065 --> 00:21:59,568
So much easier robbing a bank
in Europe.
537
00:22:10,412 --> 00:22:12,447
♪ ♪
538
00:22:14,249 --> 00:22:15,417
Thank you so much for that,
Ronny Chieng.
539
00:22:15,517 --> 00:22:17,085
All right, when we come back,
the one and only
540
00:22:17,185 --> 00:22:19,688
iconic Janelle Monáe
is joining us on the show.
541
00:22:19,788 --> 00:22:21,823
-So stay tuned.
-(cheering and applause)
542
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:32,955
(applause and cheering)
543
00:22:34,256 --> 00:22:36,525
Welcome back to
The Daily Show.
544
00:22:36,625 --> 00:22:39,962
My guest tonight is
Grammy-nominated artist
545
00:22:40,062 --> 00:22:41,730
actor and author Janelle Monáe.
546
00:22:41,831 --> 00:22:43,966
She's here to talk
about her debut book,
547
00:22:44,066 --> 00:22:46,235
The Memory Librarian.
548
00:22:46,335 --> 00:22:47,970
Please welcome
Janelle Monáe.
549
00:22:48,070 --> 00:22:51,474
-(applause and cheering)
-♪ ♪
550
00:22:54,543 --> 00:22:55,978
-Welcome.
-Thank you.
551
00:22:56,078 --> 00:22:57,746
Great to see you.
552
00:22:57,847 --> 00:23:00,783
Hi. Hello.
553
00:23:00,883 --> 00:23:05,688
(applause and cheering)
554
00:23:05,788 --> 00:23:08,457
-Welcome back to The Daily
Show. -Wow. This is...
555
00:23:08,557 --> 00:23:09,792
That's what I say
every time I see you.
556
00:23:09,892 --> 00:23:11,327
-Yes.
-This is huge. Hi, Trevor.
557
00:23:11,427 --> 00:23:13,129
-This is fun. This is fun. We're
back. -I am so happy to be back.
558
00:23:13,229 --> 00:23:14,697
-I am so happy to be back. -You
know, back with the people.
559
00:23:14,797 --> 00:23:16,365
-I'm so happy to see you.
-I'm happy to you have here.
560
00:23:16,465 --> 00:23:18,300
'Cause, like, when I talk
to you over Zoom,
561
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:20,336
I don't get, like...
For those who don't know,
562
00:23:20,436 --> 00:23:22,204
Janelle Monáe
always looks like this.
563
00:23:22,304 --> 00:23:23,706
Like, just always...
564
00:23:23,806 --> 00:23:26,475
No. You are easily one
of the most, like, glamorous,
565
00:23:26,575 --> 00:23:29,278
-stylish people I have ever
come across in my life. -Oh.
566
00:23:29,378 --> 00:23:30,713
Like, you look like
567
00:23:30,813 --> 00:23:32,882
how we're just supposed
to dress as a thing.
568
00:23:33,015 --> 00:23:34,517
You are so kind.
569
00:23:34,617 --> 00:23:37,286
I totally paid him
to say these things.
570
00:23:37,386 --> 00:23:39,288
You know,
we're in the pandemic.
571
00:23:39,388 --> 00:23:41,023
-He was trying to make some
extra money and... -Yeah, I was.
572
00:23:41,123 --> 00:23:42,424
Giving compliments.
573
00:23:42,525 --> 00:23:43,926
My side hustle was
complimenting Janelle Monáe.
574
00:23:44,026 --> 00:23:46,595
Um, welcome back to the show.
How is life?
575
00:23:46,695 --> 00:23:47,830
How's everything treating you?
576
00:23:47,930 --> 00:23:49,765
Because you are one
of the few people I know
577
00:23:49,865 --> 00:23:51,801
who just seems
to excel in everything do you.
578
00:23:51,901 --> 00:23:54,503
Music-- you excel,
and it's your own type of music.
579
00:23:54,603 --> 00:23:56,438
It's your own vibe.
It's different, it's not easy.
580
00:23:56,539 --> 00:23:59,642
-Mm. -Then movies you excel--
everything, Hidden Figures.
581
00:23:59,742 --> 00:24:01,777
I mean, now you're gonna be
in the new Knives Out.
582
00:24:01,877 --> 00:24:03,779
It's just like, your life is
a dream, and now a book
583
00:24:03,879 --> 00:24:06,048
-that's already got
starred reviews. -Oh, my God.
584
00:24:06,115 --> 00:24:08,350
-Well, tell it to my therapist.
-How are you? -(laughter)
585
00:24:08,450 --> 00:24:11,520
Because clearly, clearly,
there's a lot things
586
00:24:11,620 --> 00:24:14,256
that I have to fix
according to them.
587
00:24:14,356 --> 00:24:16,192
-Um, I'm amazing.
-Yeah?
588
00:24:16,292 --> 00:24:18,294
I'm amazing, man.
I'm gonna say that.
589
00:24:18,394 --> 00:24:20,062
-(applause and cheering)
-I love that.
590
00:24:20,162 --> 00:24:22,264
And... and I'll say this.
591
00:24:22,364 --> 00:24:24,066
I used to kind of
just say that, you know?
592
00:24:24,099 --> 00:24:25,468
'Cause "How are you doing?"
"I'm doing great.
593
00:24:25,568 --> 00:24:28,070
How are you doing?"
But I am do...
594
00:24:28,103 --> 00:24:29,605
I am, like, in the most,
595
00:24:29,705 --> 00:24:31,874
"I don't have
to prove anything" space
596
00:24:32,007 --> 00:24:34,376
-that I've ever been in
in my life. -Ooh. Ooh.
597
00:24:34,477 --> 00:24:38,013
Um, yeah, and it took me
a while to get there
598
00:24:38,113 --> 00:24:40,816
because, you know,
as public people,
599
00:24:40,916 --> 00:24:43,118
we try to inspire people
with our words.
600
00:24:43,219 --> 00:24:46,322
But I don't feel like I was
really living what I was saying.
601
00:24:46,422 --> 00:24:48,324
Oh, I like that.
602
00:24:48,424 --> 00:24:51,160
I wasn't really
believing in it myself.
603
00:24:51,260 --> 00:24:53,195
I was saying it,
it was helping other people,
604
00:24:53,295 --> 00:24:56,532
but I had to do some deep
healing during the pandemic.
605
00:24:56,632 --> 00:24:58,234
-Well... -I was dealing
with a lot of rejection
606
00:24:58,334 --> 00:24:59,835
-and abandonment issues...
-Uh-huh.
607
00:24:59,935 --> 00:25:01,170
just from, like, my childhood.
608
00:25:01,270 --> 00:25:03,539
Things that I had just
kind of kept in me.
609
00:25:03,639 --> 00:25:05,174
And they were just coming
to the surface.
610
00:25:05,274 --> 00:25:07,376
And I think one of the things
that the pandemic has done
611
00:25:07,476 --> 00:25:10,346
is forced us all to go in,
612
00:25:10,446 --> 00:25:11,847
-stay in.
-To sit with ourselves. Right.
613
00:25:11,947 --> 00:25:15,384
Yeah, and so,
I'm at this place where, like,
614
00:25:15,484 --> 00:25:17,453
I'm ready to celebrate.
615
00:25:17,553 --> 00:25:19,054
If we're not talking
about vacations,
616
00:25:19,121 --> 00:25:20,356
I don't want to talk.
617
00:25:20,456 --> 00:25:22,391
If we're not planning
a vacation, I don't...
618
00:25:22,491 --> 00:25:25,394
I don't... It's just like,
"What are we doing?"
619
00:25:25,494 --> 00:25:28,697
-I love that. -We are supposed
to be living our best lives.
620
00:25:28,798 --> 00:25:32,034
-I'm young, I'm creative.
-Hey! Hey!
621
00:25:32,134 --> 00:25:34,036
-(applause and cheering)
-(speaking foreign language)
622
00:25:34,136 --> 00:25:36,071
Right? I'm... No, seriously.
623
00:25:36,172 --> 00:25:37,873
Like, we're supposed
to be living
624
00:25:38,007 --> 00:25:40,776
our earth experience
in the best possible way,
625
00:25:40,876 --> 00:25:44,513
and think when I first started
my career, I was really serious.
626
00:25:44,613 --> 00:25:47,817
-Like, I have to prove a point.
-Yes. Yes.
627
00:25:47,917 --> 00:25:50,252
I have to prove that just
because I look like this,
628
00:25:50,352 --> 00:25:52,221
-I can do this type of music.
-Right, right, right.
629
00:25:52,321 --> 00:25:54,824
I can say these things, I can
talk about science fiction.
630
00:25:54,924 --> 00:25:56,525
I had a lot to prove.
631
00:25:56,625 --> 00:25:59,428
Um, but now, man, I'm floating.
632
00:25:59,528 --> 00:26:01,030
We feel it.
633
00:26:01,096 --> 00:26:02,932
-I love that. That's beautiful.
-Yeah.
634
00:26:03,032 --> 00:26:04,366
(applause)
635
00:26:04,467 --> 00:26:06,101
And you know what,
it's-it's interesting
636
00:26:06,202 --> 00:26:07,837
because you start to feel that
with artists
637
00:26:07,937 --> 00:26:09,505
when they hit that groove,
you know?
638
00:26:09,605 --> 00:26:11,073
-Yeah. -Because I-I think
everyone goes through a phase
639
00:26:11,173 --> 00:26:12,808
-of "you have to prove."
You know? Because... -Yeah.
640
00:26:12,908 --> 00:26:14,210
-I'm sure you understand that.
-Oh, yeah, definitely.
641
00:26:14,310 --> 00:26:15,511
-Coming from...
-Because initially,
642
00:26:15,611 --> 00:26:17,279
you're going,
"Will I keep the job?
643
00:26:17,379 --> 00:26:19,181
-Do I belong here?" There's
impostor syndrome. -Yeah.
644
00:26:19,281 --> 00:26:20,716
-Mm.
-Over time, you develop a trust.
645
00:26:20,816 --> 00:26:22,518
Yourself, the audience,
your experiences.
646
00:26:22,618 --> 00:26:24,687
-Yeah. -The book feels
like the perfect representation
647
00:26:24,787 --> 00:26:27,089
of that for me, because I knew
that you liked science fiction.
648
00:26:27,189 --> 00:26:28,691
-(chuckles) -You know?
I mean, like, you know,
649
00:26:28,791 --> 00:26:31,026
your-your albums, for instance.
Your music videos.
650
00:26:31,127 --> 00:26:32,595
You-You've never been afraid
651
00:26:32,695 --> 00:26:34,130
to say, like,
"I like science fiction."
652
00:26:34,230 --> 00:26:36,499
But now you wrote
a book of short stories,
653
00:26:36,599 --> 00:26:38,000
and I was like, "Oh, no,
654
00:26:38,033 --> 00:26:40,269
-Janelle Monáe
loves science fiction." -Yes.
655
00:26:40,369 --> 00:26:42,438
-I do. -'Cause you cowrote
with some amazing authors.
656
00:26:42,538 --> 00:26:43,906
-Yes.
-Let's-let's start with that.
657
00:26:44,006 --> 00:26:45,908
How did you even begin
this process of going,
658
00:26:46,008 --> 00:26:48,010
"You know what? I want to write,
like, a future book"?
659
00:26:48,110 --> 00:26:51,213
So, this, um,
short story collection
660
00:26:51,313 --> 00:26:53,616
is from the soil
of Dirty Computer,
661
00:26:53,716 --> 00:26:55,784
-my album that came out in 2018.
-Yes.
662
00:26:55,885 --> 00:26:57,253
And I released a film with that.
663
00:26:57,353 --> 00:26:59,155
And I knew I had more to say.
664
00:26:59,255 --> 00:27:01,724
Sat down in the pandemic,
2022...
665
00:27:01,824 --> 00:27:03,459
Excuse me. Look at me,
don't even know my dates.
666
00:27:03,559 --> 00:27:05,194
I'm from the future.
Sorry. Excuse me.
667
00:27:05,294 --> 00:27:07,763
-(laughter) -Um,
I sat down in the pandemic.
668
00:27:07,863 --> 00:27:09,732
-2020.
-Right.
669
00:27:09,832 --> 00:27:12,201
And I finally said
that there's more.
670
00:27:12,301 --> 00:27:15,137
And, um, you know,
I was on mushrooms,
671
00:27:15,237 --> 00:27:19,074
and I just came up with all
of these thought experiments,
672
00:27:19,175 --> 00:27:20,442
you know, where I was like,
673
00:27:20,543 --> 00:27:23,412
"What if there was
this Black woman"?
674
00:27:23,512 --> 00:27:26,448
She was the memory keeper
of this city.
675
00:27:26,549 --> 00:27:28,884
She knew
all of the people's memories
676
00:27:29,051 --> 00:27:30,352
before they were cleaned,
677
00:27:30,453 --> 00:27:32,588
before their identities
were wiped clean.
678
00:27:32,688 --> 00:27:35,124
-Mm.
-And she wants to fall in love.
679
00:27:35,224 --> 00:27:37,393
What does that mean
when you want to fall in love
680
00:27:37,493 --> 00:27:39,428
but you know
everybody's secrets?
681
00:27:39,528 --> 00:27:41,997
-(exhales) That's the first
story. -What does that mean?
682
00:27:42,064 --> 00:27:43,466
So, that's the first one. It's
called "The Memory Librarian."
683
00:27:43,566 --> 00:27:45,034
Yeah. That's just
the first story. Imagine that.
684
00:27:45,134 --> 00:27:46,535
-WOMAN: Oh. -First... You see,
you were already like, "Ooh."
685
00:27:46,635 --> 00:27:48,471
-First story.
-Yeah.
686
00:27:48,571 --> 00:27:49,705
-(laughter and applause)
-And then...
687
00:27:49,805 --> 00:27:53,042
And then
what if you lived in New York
688
00:27:53,142 --> 00:27:56,178
and there was a room
that could you go into
689
00:27:56,278 --> 00:27:57,480
you didn't even know existed.
690
00:27:57,580 --> 00:28:00,449
But when you went
into this room, time stopped.
691
00:28:00,549 --> 00:28:03,185
-So... Ooh, yeah.
-(laughter)
692
00:28:03,285 --> 00:28:04,920
So you could...
693
00:28:05,020 --> 00:28:06,622
It kind of speaks
to time poverty
694
00:28:06,722 --> 00:28:07,656
-in a sense.
-Right. Right.
695
00:28:07,756 --> 00:28:09,091
You know Black and brown folks,
696
00:28:09,191 --> 00:28:11,560
-we've been spending our life
fighting, right? -Mm-hmm.
697
00:28:11,660 --> 00:28:13,295
To-to be included,
all these things.
698
00:28:13,395 --> 00:28:16,499
What if you had an opportunity
to steal time, to get time back?
699
00:28:16,599 --> 00:28:20,035
Would you rest? Would you
show the community this place?
700
00:28:20,136 --> 00:28:21,604
How-how would you...
701
00:28:21,704 --> 00:28:24,640
If you could get time back,
how would you use it?
702
00:28:24,740 --> 00:28:27,042
I love how you've used
the stories in the book
703
00:28:27,109 --> 00:28:30,579
to delve into topics
that sometimes are too dense
704
00:28:30,679 --> 00:28:31,981
or-or too...
705
00:28:32,014 --> 00:28:34,350
like, you know,
they're fraught with politics.
706
00:28:34,450 --> 00:28:36,252
And they don't let us
just think about them.
707
00:28:36,352 --> 00:28:37,887
For instance, the first story
you talked about,
708
00:28:37,987 --> 00:28:39,722
it's in the future.
There's this woman.
709
00:28:39,822 --> 00:28:41,490
She's got all these memories.
How does she trust people?
710
00:28:41,590 --> 00:28:42,625
-How does she know people?
-Yeah.
711
00:28:42,725 --> 00:28:44,026
And all I found myself
thinking...
712
00:28:44,126 --> 00:28:45,995
I was like, "Man, I feel
like that's what social media
713
00:28:46,061 --> 00:28:47,663
-is slowly slipping us into."
-Mm.
714
00:28:47,763 --> 00:28:50,099
People have now lived
their entire life online.
715
00:28:50,199 --> 00:28:51,400
-Yeah.
-Now we're in a generation
716
00:28:51,500 --> 00:28:53,169
where people have gone,
"From my baby steps
717
00:28:53,269 --> 00:28:56,005
"all the way through,
I have existed online.
718
00:28:56,105 --> 00:28:58,541
"So now do I have any anonymity?
719
00:28:58,641 --> 00:29:00,276
"Can I write my own story
720
00:29:00,376 --> 00:29:03,145
-without other people writing it
from my posts?" -Yeah.
721
00:29:03,245 --> 00:29:05,047
Yeah. I mean,
I think that, you know,
722
00:29:05,147 --> 00:29:07,049
social media
is a virtual reality.
723
00:29:07,149 --> 00:29:09,518
It's a whole nother world.
Like, people create,
724
00:29:09,618 --> 00:29:12,087
and we curate
the type of people that we are.
725
00:29:12,188 --> 00:29:15,891
I think being human,
in my opinion, is performative.
726
00:29:16,025 --> 00:29:17,426
-Mm.
-I'm performing a version
727
00:29:17,526 --> 00:29:19,462
of what I think
Janelle Monáe should be.
728
00:29:19,562 --> 00:29:21,163
-Damn.
-Told you I'm from the future,
729
00:29:21,263 --> 00:29:22,364
-so...
-Yeah, no.
730
00:29:22,465 --> 00:29:24,133
It gets deep. It gets deep.
731
00:29:24,233 --> 00:29:25,801
It's all feedback.
732
00:29:25,901 --> 00:29:27,636
We're getting feedback
from how we should be,
733
00:29:27,736 --> 00:29:29,505
-how what we've seen we
didn't like, what... -Mm-hmm.
734
00:29:29,605 --> 00:29:31,640
And it's like,
"Ah, now I'm this person"
735
00:29:31,740 --> 00:29:32,808
because of the information.
736
00:29:32,975 --> 00:29:34,310
But that's a whole nother story.
737
00:29:34,410 --> 00:29:36,145
Um, I think you're right.
738
00:29:36,245 --> 00:29:38,581
I think that there is
some gathering done there,
739
00:29:38,681 --> 00:29:40,416
uh, with our memories.
740
00:29:40,516 --> 00:29:43,185
And, with this book,
I'm just challenging everybody
741
00:29:43,285 --> 00:29:45,421
to be
their own memory librarian.
742
00:29:45,521 --> 00:29:47,123
Like, I started
to look at my life
743
00:29:47,223 --> 00:29:49,725
and I-I started to think about,
man, I was...
744
00:29:49,825 --> 00:29:53,062
I didn't-- I wasn't
in the moment in so many ways.
745
00:29:53,162 --> 00:29:55,598
-Yeah. Yes. -I was so
in the future here for, like,
746
00:29:55,698 --> 00:29:57,133
the majority of my career.
747
00:29:57,233 --> 00:29:58,334
I was in the future.
748
00:29:58,434 --> 00:30:01,470
And so how can I create
memories now?
749
00:30:01,570 --> 00:30:03,672
Like, our memories
are the things
750
00:30:03,772 --> 00:30:05,708
-that determine
the quality of our life. -Right.
751
00:30:05,808 --> 00:30:07,443
Without them, who are we?
752
00:30:07,543 --> 00:30:10,246
You know? When you take away
somebody's identity
753
00:30:10,346 --> 00:30:12,214
and who they are,
it's just like...
754
00:30:12,314 --> 00:30:15,184
that-that was their
life's experience, you know?
755
00:30:15,284 --> 00:30:17,153
-That's deep. Wow.
-Yeah.
756
00:30:17,253 --> 00:30:19,922
-Who are we? -And I-I want
to shout out Alaya Dawn Johnson.
757
00:30:20,022 --> 00:30:22,358
I wrote The Memory Librarian
with her.
758
00:30:22,458 --> 00:30:25,094
And I wrote
th-this-this entire collection--
759
00:30:25,194 --> 00:30:28,364
Each short story,
I partnered with a writer
760
00:30:28,464 --> 00:30:30,199
-that I... -How did you choose
them? I would love to know--
761
00:30:30,299 --> 00:30:31,634
-Yeah.
-Well, friends who were writers.
762
00:30:31,734 --> 00:30:33,435
-Right. -'Cause I knew,
like, okay, with--
763
00:30:33,536 --> 00:30:35,237
There's a story called
"Nevermind,"
764
00:30:35,337 --> 00:30:38,040
and there is, uh,
an incredible writer, uh,
765
00:30:38,140 --> 00:30:40,709
by the name of Danny Lore.
And nonbinary.
766
00:30:40,810 --> 00:30:43,445
And they are just really, really
good when it comes to action.
767
00:30:43,546 --> 00:30:45,815
Like, they're doing some stuff
with this James, uh,
768
00:30:45,981 --> 00:30:48,083
Bond, uh, graphic novel,
and I was like,
769
00:30:48,184 --> 00:30:50,319
"Okay,
Danny will be great for that."
770
00:30:50,419 --> 00:30:51,987
And then, uh, Eve L. Ewing,
771
00:30:52,021 --> 00:30:53,622
-I did "Timebox" with.
-Oh, yes. Of course.
772
00:30:53,722 --> 00:30:57,159
Um, Sheree Renée Thomas,
I did "Timebox Altar(ed)" with.
773
00:30:57,259 --> 00:31:00,663
Uh, Yohanca Delgado,
I did "Save Changes."
774
00:31:00,763 --> 00:31:03,999
Imagine if you could go back
and there was this device
775
00:31:04,033 --> 00:31:05,534
and you wanted to just, like--
776
00:31:05,634 --> 00:31:06,869
Ah, I don't want
to give too much away,
777
00:31:07,002 --> 00:31:08,804
but these stories
are just incredible.
778
00:31:08,904 --> 00:31:12,408
And then, um, you know,
I said, uh, Alaya Dawn Johnson.
779
00:31:12,508 --> 00:31:14,143
-Right. -I just wanted
to make sure I shout them out,
780
00:31:14,243 --> 00:31:17,213
because this was a super
innovative way of releasing,
781
00:31:17,313 --> 00:31:18,914
-uh, a book.
-It really is.
782
00:31:19,014 --> 00:31:20,516
You know-- you know,
what I enjoyed about it is,
783
00:31:20,616 --> 00:31:23,219
when you go from story to story,
what you've done is
784
00:31:23,319 --> 00:31:25,721
there is the common thread
of Janelle Monáe.
785
00:31:25,821 --> 00:31:28,124
I can feel the future you
in all these stories
786
00:31:28,224 --> 00:31:29,225
and the way you think.
787
00:31:29,325 --> 00:31:31,026
But then it's infused with,
like,
788
00:31:31,127 --> 00:31:32,995
-different elements from all
of the different writers. -Yeah.
789
00:31:33,095 --> 00:31:34,964
You know? If you-- if you know
Eve's writing and her style,
790
00:31:35,064 --> 00:31:36,365
-you can feel it in some
of the dialogue... -Yes.
791
00:31:36,465 --> 00:31:37,566
-...and some of the moments.
-Yeah.
792
00:31:37,666 --> 00:31:38,968
-She's incredible.
-If you know the author,
793
00:31:39,001 --> 00:31:41,504
it becomes-- So it-it's
almost like you've created
794
00:31:41,604 --> 00:31:43,305
the first book that has,
like, "features" on it.
795
00:31:43,405 --> 00:31:45,407
Yeah, it's like a--
it's like a compilation album.
796
00:31:45,508 --> 00:31:47,176
-It really is. No, it's-it's...
-It is. Like a mixtape.
797
00:31:47,276 --> 00:31:48,878
-(laughs) -It's phenomenal.
So it-- They-they feel
798
00:31:48,978 --> 00:31:50,346
-so different from story
to story... -Yeah. Yeah.
799
00:31:50,446 --> 00:31:51,780
...and yet they have
a common thread.
800
00:31:51,881 --> 00:31:53,782
I can see
why it's getting rave reviews.
801
00:31:53,883 --> 00:31:56,786
I can see--
Like, now the question is,
802
00:31:56,886 --> 00:31:58,687
are you gonna turn this into--
803
00:31:58,788 --> 00:32:01,157
-I know it started with the
album that's a movie... -Mm-hmm.
804
00:32:01,257 --> 00:32:03,559
...and then now there's a book,
but now this book seems like
805
00:32:03,659 --> 00:32:05,528
-it-it's begging to be turned
into a TV show. -Yeah.
806
00:32:05,628 --> 00:32:07,429
You think so? Do you think
it could be a TV show?
807
00:32:07,530 --> 00:32:09,165
-Every time I was reading this,
I was like, "Wow." -Okay, guys,
808
00:32:09,265 --> 00:32:11,500
-everybody watching, listen.
-(cheering and applause)
809
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:13,002
-We're gonna do it.
-We need to make this happen.
810
00:32:13,035 --> 00:32:14,436
-We're gonna make it happen,
-Let's make it happen.
811
00:32:14,537 --> 00:32:15,704
We're gonna make it happen.
Thank you so much for joining me
812
00:32:15,805 --> 00:32:17,439
-on the show.
-Thank you. I adore you.
813
00:32:17,540 --> 00:32:18,808
-Thank you for being here.
-I'm so proud of you.
814
00:32:18,908 --> 00:32:19,842
-Give him a round of applause!
-Thank you for finding
815
00:32:20,009 --> 00:32:21,377
-your happiness.
-(cheering)
816
00:32:21,477 --> 00:32:22,545
Janelle Monáe, everybody!
817
00:32:22,645 --> 00:32:24,079
-Thank you.
-The Memory Librarian
818
00:32:24,180 --> 00:32:25,881
will be available April 19.
819
00:32:26,015 --> 00:32:27,016
We're gonna take a quick break,
820
00:32:27,082 --> 00:32:29,418
but we'll be right back
after this.
821
00:32:29,518 --> 00:32:30,619
I love that.
822
00:32:30,719 --> 00:32:32,755
(cheering, applause)
823
00:32:37,597 --> 00:32:38,564
(cheering and applause)
824
00:32:38,664 --> 00:32:39,565
Well, that's our show
for tonight.
825
00:32:39,665 --> 00:32:41,167
Thank you so much for tuning in.
826
00:32:41,267 --> 00:32:43,569
Before we go,
millions of families in Ukraine
827
00:32:43,669 --> 00:32:45,771
have fled their homes
in search of safety.
828
00:32:45,872 --> 00:32:48,074
Working with restaurant partners
across Ukraine
829
00:32:48,174 --> 00:32:50,543
and in six countries,
World Central Kitchen
830
00:32:50,643 --> 00:32:54,147
is providing hundreds
of thousands of nourishing meals
831
00:32:54,247 --> 00:32:55,848
for people in need every day.
832
00:32:55,948 --> 00:32:57,783
Additionally, WCK teams
833
00:32:57,884 --> 00:32:59,719
are working
to get bulk food products
834
00:32:59,819 --> 00:33:01,988
into communities
under constant attack.
835
00:33:02,088 --> 00:33:03,656
So, please,
if you can support them
836
00:33:03,756 --> 00:33:05,558
in their emergency food
relief efforts,
837
00:33:05,658 --> 00:33:07,260
then donate at the link below.
838
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,095
Until tomorrow,
stay safe out there.
839
00:33:09,195 --> 00:33:10,263
And, remember,
840
00:33:10,363 --> 00:33:12,498
if you need to calculate
your tip at a restaurant
841
00:33:12,598 --> 00:33:13,800
and you're struggling,
842
00:33:13,900 --> 00:33:18,070
multiply the hypotenuse by x.
843
00:33:18,171 --> 00:33:21,073
Now here it is,
Your Moment of Zen.
844
00:33:21,174 --> 00:33:23,209
♪ ♪
845
00:33:26,612 --> 00:33:28,781
When the president
started talking about blaming
846
00:33:28,881 --> 00:33:31,184
the Putin price hike,
uh, a bird pooped on him.
847
00:33:31,284 --> 00:33:34,620
At what point did he realize
that that had happened?
848
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:37,590
DOOCY: Uh, hopefully before he
puts that jacket on again.
849
00:33:37,690 --> 00:33:40,059
-(laughter)
-Uh, and, for the record,
850
00:33:40,159 --> 00:33:42,862
they claim
that it was not from a bird
851
00:33:42,962 --> 00:33:44,864
but, rather, it was from corn.
852
00:33:44,964 --> 00:33:46,532
They say here
at the White House,
853
00:33:46,699 --> 00:33:48,334
the communications
professionals here
854
00:33:48,434 --> 00:33:50,837
who are tasked with responding
to Bird Poop-gate,
855
00:33:50,937 --> 00:33:52,405
uh, they say that it was corn.
856
00:33:52,505 --> 00:33:54,874
Uh, so don't blame the bird--
blame the corn.
857
00:33:54,974 --> 00:33:56,609
-Bird Poop-gate. All right.
-Mm-hmm.
858
00:33:56,709 --> 00:33:57,977
Thank you, Peter.