1 00:00:01,235 --> 00:00:02,769 Hello there. You're about to watch an episode 2 00:00:02,870 --> 00:00:04,238 of The Daily Show. 3 00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:07,508 That means there's some news and some jokes on the way. 4 00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:09,810 So if you like laughing and news, 5 00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:13,247 you're in the right (bleep) place, honey. 6 00:00:14,281 --> 00:00:16,850 ANNOUNCER: Coming to you from New York City, 7 00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:20,787 the only city in America, it's The Daily Show. 8 00:00:20,888 --> 00:00:24,324 Tonight-- math is racist, 9 00:00:24,424 --> 00:00:28,161 why Tax Day is weird, 10 00:00:28,262 --> 00:00:29,897 and Janelle Monáe. 11 00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:34,101 This is The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. 12 00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:37,504 (applause and cheering) 13 00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:52,553 Welcome, everybody. 14 00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:54,188 Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Trevor Noah. 15 00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:55,522 Thank you so much for tuning in. 16 00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:56,924 Thank you for coming out in person. 17 00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:58,325 (applause and cheering swelling) 18 00:00:58,425 --> 00:01:00,894 Good to see you. Good to see your faces. 19 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,796 Half your faces. All right, take a seat, everybody. 20 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,298 We've got a fun show for you today. 21 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,732 Ronny Chieng is going to be telling you 22 00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:08,068 why you're doing your taxes all wrong. 23 00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:10,070 So it's gonna be just like the IRS, but funny. 24 00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:13,340 Plus, the amazing Janelle Monáe is joining us on the show. 25 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,076 And this time, not for music or a new book. 26 00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:19,546 No, she just released a book of short stories. 27 00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:21,315 Yeah, which is amazing, right? Yeah. 28 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,283 And in case you're confused, it's not stories 29 00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:25,185 about short things, but rather short stories 30 00:01:25,285 --> 00:01:27,087 about things. All right. 31 00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:30,123 The things can be long, but the stories are always short. 32 00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:31,592 Anyway, I've said enough. 33 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:34,561 Let's jump straight into today's headlines. 34 00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:36,830 -(applause and cheering) -♪ ♪ 35 00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:48,509 Okay, people, let's kick things off with the big education news. 36 00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:51,512 By now, you've all heard about how school systems 37 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:55,282 across the U.S. are banning critical race theory. 38 00:01:55,382 --> 00:01:58,118 And if you're still not sure what critical race theory is, 39 00:01:58,218 --> 00:02:00,420 -don't worry. Neither are the people banning it. -(laughter) 40 00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:02,956 Now, the state of Florida has announced 41 00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:05,325 that it's officially begun its purge 42 00:02:05,425 --> 00:02:07,127 of all things CRT, 43 00:02:07,227 --> 00:02:10,764 but some of the targets have taken people by surprise. 44 00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:13,100 The Florida Department of Education is making waves 45 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:17,237 after rejecting 41% of submitted math textbooks 46 00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:19,740 because of touchy and prohibited subjects. 47 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:24,411 The state says more than 50 of those books include references 48 00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:27,447 to critical race theory, among other things like common core, 49 00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:30,350 and therefore, are prohibited under the new standards. 50 00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:31,985 CRT teachings-- they were 51 00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:34,221 banned from Florida's classrooms last year. 52 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,790 NEWSWOMAN 2: Orange County Classroom Teachers Association 53 00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:38,792 President Wendy Doromal says she's baffled. 54 00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:42,629 I can't imagine what is in a math textbook 55 00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:44,865 that would indoctrinate a child. 56 00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:46,934 I'd really would love to see some of these 57 00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:51,104 rejected books and see what they highlighted. 58 00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:53,340 -Yeah, so would I. -(laughter) 59 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:54,474 Because I mean, this makes no... 60 00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:56,643 Florida is banning math textbooks 61 00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:58,378 because the state says 62 00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:00,047 that they teach critical race theory. 63 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,348 And I'll be honest. 64 00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:03,817 I don't even understand how that works. I don't. 65 00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:06,353 Like, I get finding critical race theory 66 00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:09,523 in history books or-or social studies. 67 00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,491 But math? How? How? 68 00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:13,060 "Well, think about it, Trevor. 69 00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:14,428 "Algebra is just a bunch of numbers 70 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,598 that rejected their slave names and now go by 'X.'" 71 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,833 (laughter) 72 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:21,268 How? 73 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,670 "Yeah, Trevor. Also, numbers can be very triggering 74 00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,572 "for white people. Think about it. 75 00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:27,941 "Whenever a Black man dunks on a white man, 76 00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:30,110 "what's on his shirt? 77 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:33,947 That's right. Numbers!" 78 00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:37,551 And don't get me started on the violence inherent in math. 79 00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:40,087 I'll never forget the day seven eight nine. 80 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,489 (laughter) 81 00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:44,791 Scarred me for life. 82 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,293 I'll be honest, man. 83 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,395 I don't know what Florida is trying to do here, you know? 84 00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:51,098 But any sane person can agree, this is getting out of control. 85 00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:52,666 I mean, it was bad before, 86 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,801 but this is getting out of control 87 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,436 because now it just feels like 88 00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:59,006 the state sees critical race theory everywhere, 89 00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:01,475 in everything. You know, it's almost like a hypochondriac. 90 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:04,178 It's just like "This milkshake is critical race theory!" 91 00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:06,680 "What?" "Yeah. Look! It's trying to tell us 92 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:09,516 "that the white part is keeping the brown man down! 93 00:04:09,616 --> 00:04:13,587 Well, maybe the chocolate just needs to work harder!" 94 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,589 "Maybe you need to relax, my man." 95 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:19,126 Also, think about this. Let's play with the logic. 96 00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:23,197 If they were trying to sneak CRT into the schools, 97 00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:26,099 -why would they do it with math? -(laughter) 98 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,269 Math textbooks would be the worst place to do it. 99 00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:32,706 Because who remembers anything they learned in math, huh? Huh? 100 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,843 Do you remember how to use a hypotenuse, huh? 101 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:38,478 Do you? If I said nobody leaves this studio-- 102 00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:41,882 no one-- until you show me how a hypotenuse works... 103 00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:45,152 We're dying here, people. 104 00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:47,688 We're all dead. They're just gonna find corpses. 105 00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:51,859 Nobody remembers math from school. Nobody. 106 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,994 Even Liam Neeson. His particular set of skills 107 00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:56,163 did not include hypotenuse. 108 00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:58,098 Yeah, just like, "I will find you and I will kill you." 109 00:04:58,198 --> 00:05:01,168 They're like, "Well, first you have to solve math problem." 110 00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:03,237 "Uh... 111 00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:06,874 Uh, it's fine, I'll find another daughter." 112 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,242 You know, I actually wish-- I actually wish 113 00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:11,378 there was CRT in math textbooks, I actually do, yeah. 114 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,747 Because then we could have solved racism by now 115 00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:15,415 just by cheating and going to the back of the book 116 00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:16,950 with all the answers in it, you know? 117 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,385 Just be at the back and be like, "What is it... 118 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:21,488 "'A Black Batman.' Oh, my God! 119 00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:23,724 Why didn't I think of that?" 120 00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:27,728 All right, but let's move on from that madness in Florida 121 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,297 to something that's affecting all of us: inflation. 122 00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:33,300 Thanks to inflation, practically every company 123 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,135 is raising their prices right now. Yeah. 124 00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:38,272 For instance, here in New York, a lot of dollar pizza places 125 00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:41,708 are now charging $1.25. 126 00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:43,777 Yeah, no, no, you-you think it's minor, 127 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,279 but it's actually a nightmare. 128 00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:47,981 Because now you either have to carry around 129 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,716 an extra quarter with you 130 00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:52,419 or you got to give the guy two dollars, 131 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:55,589 and now you're carrying around three quarters all day. Huh? 132 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,191 What am I supposed to do with that, huh? 133 00:05:57,291 --> 00:05:59,526 Do you see slot machines out on the streets of New York, huh? 134 00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,028 You're killing me! 135 00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:03,030 But everyone's raising prices, everyone. Even Amazon. 136 00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,431 They've just announced that they're charging 137 00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:08,335 an extra five percent inflation fee to its merchants, 138 00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:10,604 who will presumably pass that extra cost on to the customers, 139 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,739 which, I'm sorry, people, is bullshit. All right? 140 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:17,110 Because Amazon made $33 billion in profit last year. 141 00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:18,745 If there's any company that can do, like, 142 00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:21,248 just a little to absorb the cost of inflation, it's them. 143 00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:24,051 You know, Amazon, if you're trying to save money, 144 00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:25,552 next time I buy a toothbrush, 145 00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:27,654 maybe don't package it in a cardboard box 146 00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:31,425 the side of a minivan, huh? Maybe some... 147 00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,560 you save something. 148 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:39,066 You seen the size of the boxes? 149 00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:40,434 Got a giant box for a tiny thing, 150 00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:42,302 now I've got to take time off to fold it, 151 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,871 put it in my recycling, and I'm sad 152 00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:45,806 'cause I thought someone bought me a car. 153 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,943 Now, now, get this. According to a new report-- 154 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,345 and this is really sinister, man-- 155 00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:54,147 some companies aren't just raising prices 156 00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:56,383 to keep up with inflation. No. 157 00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:58,785 These slick assholes are using inflation 158 00:06:58,886 --> 00:07:01,154 as an excuse to gouge their customers 159 00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,856 and make even more profits than before. 160 00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,259 Because, you see, they know they can get away with it right now. 161 00:07:05,359 --> 00:07:07,060 Think about it. A year ago, if you saw that 162 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,662 the price of something shot up out of nowhere, 163 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,030 you'd get mad at the company. 164 00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,499 But now, when you're paying $100 for detergent, 165 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,134 you just think it's inflation and you curse Joe Biden. 166 00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:15,802 It's brilliant. It's brilliant. 167 00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:18,038 And here's how you know-- here's how you know that companies 168 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:20,774 don't have to raise their prices. 169 00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:21,942 They don't have to. 170 00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:24,511 Because one company is refusing to, 171 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:26,880 and they're still getting rich. 172 00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:28,949 You go to the supermarket, you look just around, 173 00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:30,684 and you know that nearly all products 174 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,286 are getting more expensive. 175 00:07:32,386 --> 00:07:34,154 Except Arizona iced tea. 176 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,924 The beverage is staying 99 cents a bottle 177 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,593 regardless of the rising inflation cost. 178 00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:41,628 The company's founder and chairman says 179 00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:44,898 he is not budging on price on principal. 180 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:47,868 the company is privately owned. The owner is absorbing 181 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,838 the higher cost of everything, including the aluminum 182 00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:53,340 that the can, uh, that the iced tea is in. 183 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,142 And they're making cuts in other areas. 184 00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:57,911 NEWSWOMAN: Don Vultaggio, Arizona's 70-year-old founder 185 00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:01,181 and chairman, told The Los Angeles Times... 186 00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:12,292 Yeah. Yeah. -(cheering, applause) 187 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,330 That's exactly what I'm talking about, you see? 188 00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:19,800 You don't have to squeeze every last dollar 189 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:22,503 out of your customers. This guy's 190 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:25,405 keeping his product 99 cents despite inflation 191 00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:29,109 and he even puts it on the can so the store can't mark it up. 192 00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:31,278 Yeah, as opposed to Florida iced tea, 193 00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:34,147 which does not put its price on the can... 194 00:08:34,248 --> 00:08:38,452 'cause those numbers are critical race theory. 195 00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:40,854 And, you know, I, like, it's so rare to see a company 196 00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:42,189 that's just like, "You know what, 197 00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:43,624 "we make enough money. Yeah. 198 00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,158 We don't need our customers to suffer." 199 00:08:45,259 --> 00:08:47,895 I bet Snapple could do that too if they didn't 200 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:50,297 waste so much money researching those dumb facts. 201 00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:52,766 I-- Guys-- I'm here to fill my body 202 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,736 with a month's worth of sugar, not to learn. 203 00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:58,972 Gonna put information on the inside. I got a sugar high. Aah! 204 00:09:00,474 --> 00:09:01,542 And let me tell you something. 205 00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,243 If this Arizona iced tea company can do this, 206 00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:06,079 then a company like Amazon has no excuse. Yeah. 207 00:09:06,180 --> 00:09:08,015 In fact, you know what I think? You know what I think? 208 00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:10,050 I think we should all boycott Amazon. Yeah. 209 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:11,518 And only order... only order, 210 00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:13,153 like, three things a day instead of five. 211 00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:15,656 Yeah. Make them feel the pain. 212 00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,024 And obviously, if you need something... 213 00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:18,592 If you need something, you should still order it. 214 00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,394 I mean, no matter what. Like... No, I mean, there's no need 215 00:09:20,494 --> 00:09:21,795 to run out of, like, bubble bath bombs. 216 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,630 That goes without saying. But aside from that, 217 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:27,034 total boycott of more than three things per day. 218 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,570 Yeah. I should put "activist" in my bio. 219 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:32,172 (laughter and applause) 220 00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:34,141 All right, and finally, 221 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,844 this was a big weekend, a really big weekend 222 00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:38,946 for a lot of people all over the world. 223 00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:40,781 Because, you see, you had Easter, 224 00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:43,417 Passover and Ramadan 225 00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:45,619 all at the same time. 226 00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:48,689 Yeah. It was basically the Coachella of religion. 227 00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:51,124 And if you celebrate Easter, 228 00:09:51,225 --> 00:09:53,660 you probably know that it marks the end of Lent, 229 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,529 a 40-day period when many Christians 230 00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:57,831 give up a personal pleasure or a luxury 231 00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,067 as a form of spiritual devotion. 232 00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,935 And typically, people who observe Lent, 233 00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:04,938 like, they give up something like sweets or alcohol. 234 00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:07,808 But this year, one church came up 235 00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:11,478 with a much more innovative form 236 00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:12,779 of sacrifice. 237 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,315 A church in Illinois fasting from whiteness 238 00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:16,984 to observe Lent. 239 00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:18,752 Lent, of course, a Christian tradition 240 00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,387 that involves giving up something 241 00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:22,122 for 40 days ahead of Easter. 242 00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:24,424 And First United Church of Oak Park 243 00:10:24,525 --> 00:10:27,594 chose to give up white music, meaning they aren't playing 244 00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:29,563 any music written by white people. 245 00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:32,099 The church released a statement saying that the goal 246 00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:34,768 was to lay aside usual frames of reference 247 00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:37,004 and open the floor to voices of Black people, 248 00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:39,773 Indigenous people and people of color. 249 00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:43,544 This has been a season of the best church 250 00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:45,145 that I can remember. 251 00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:47,214 (laughter and applause) 252 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,449 Oh, man. 253 00:10:49,550 --> 00:10:51,118 Oh, you can see his face. 254 00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:53,854 Like, "The best ever of all..." 255 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,022 That's right, Reverend. 256 00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:56,490 Of course this was the best season. 257 00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:59,893 You guys were rocking out to Black music this whole time. 258 00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,161 Of course it was... 259 00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:04,097 Yo, what seems like a more fun church service? 260 00:11:04,198 --> 00:11:05,465 This? 261 00:11:05,566 --> 00:11:07,601 (choir harmonizing) 262 00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:13,607 Or this? 263 00:11:13,707 --> 00:11:15,609 (upbeat music playing) 264 00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:17,744 (cheering and applause) 265 00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:26,320 You see? You feel the spirit right now! 266 00:11:27,621 --> 00:11:29,556 You know, they say they're doing this for Lent, 267 00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:31,391 but you realize now that they discovered this, 268 00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:33,627 they don't have to go back to boring songs, right? 269 00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:35,095 No, you don't have to. 270 00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:36,496 They said it was the best. The reverend said 271 00:11:36,597 --> 00:11:38,498 this is the best service they could remember. 272 00:11:38,599 --> 00:11:41,401 So why change it? Make all your music Black music. 273 00:11:41,502 --> 00:11:43,337 Yeah. I mean, just be careful, though. Just be careful. 274 00:11:43,437 --> 00:11:46,173 Not every Black song works in church. 275 00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:47,741 (laughter) 276 00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:51,311 ♪ Gobble me, swallow me ♪ 277 00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:55,115 ♪ Drip down the side of me ♪ 278 00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:57,351 ♪ WAP, WAP, WAP, WAP ♪ 279 00:11:57,451 --> 00:11:59,853 ♪ Wet-ass pussy. ♪ 280 00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,788 (vocalizing) 281 00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:03,924 (laughter and applause) 282 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,261 (cheering and applause) 283 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,569 And while we're talking about church music, 284 00:12:15,669 --> 00:12:17,938 there's a video-- you probably saw it-- 285 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,207 that went viral this weekend, all right? 286 00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:24,111 It's of a youth pastor who's on a flight, 287 00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:27,848 and he decided with, like, I guess his band members 288 00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:29,583 to surprise everyone on the flight 289 00:12:29,683 --> 00:12:32,085 with an impromptu performance. 290 00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:33,520 NEWSMAN: This in-flight video 291 00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:35,822 is getting a lot of attention on social media 292 00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:38,125 with commenters wondering if other passengers 293 00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:40,727 were okay with the performance. Watch this. 294 00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:45,699 ♪ Great is our God ♪ 295 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,801 ♪ Sing with me ♪ 296 00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:50,103 ♪ You're the name ♪ 297 00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:53,740 ♪ Above all names... ♪ 298 00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:56,109 A youth pastor shared this video of a group of people 299 00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:59,179 singing Christian songs earlier this month obviously on a plane. 300 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,849 Of course, everybody zeroed in on this one dude. 301 00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:04,117 -Let's just see the picture of the man. -NEWSWOMAN: Yes. 302 00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:06,253 (laughter and applause) 303 00:13:08,422 --> 00:13:11,592 Oh, man, that dude was not having a good time. 304 00:13:11,692 --> 00:13:13,093 Do you see his face? 305 00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:14,928 That's the look of someone thinking, 306 00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:17,831 "Oh, where's bin Laden when you need him? 307 00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:20,300 Oh, man." 308 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,202 And he's not the only one who felt that way. 309 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,470 A lot of people online 310 00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:24,905 are saying that it is inappropriate 311 00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:27,241 for a group to randomly start playing music 312 00:13:27,341 --> 00:13:28,742 in the middle of a flight, and some people... 313 00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:31,545 some people were even more angry that it was religious music. 314 00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:33,080 They're saying, "You can't do this. 315 00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:34,147 You can't just bring religion for everybody on the plane." 316 00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:35,482 But, guys, 317 00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,484 honestly, in my opinion, 318 00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:40,621 I think the most logical place for religious songs 319 00:13:40,721 --> 00:13:42,489 is on a plane. 320 00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:45,692 Yeah. I don't care who you are-- that's where you need God. 321 00:13:47,361 --> 00:13:49,530 Because who the hell knows how to fly planes, huh? 322 00:13:49,630 --> 00:13:52,099 Who even knows how planes work? 323 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,601 There's only, like, two people on the entire plane 324 00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:55,702 who know how that thing works. 325 00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:57,171 I mean really know. 326 00:13:57,271 --> 00:13:59,473 Two people. If they get diarrhea at the same time, 327 00:13:59,573 --> 00:14:00,607 we're all dead. 328 00:14:01,575 --> 00:14:03,076 We're gone. 329 00:14:03,177 --> 00:14:04,344 Yeah, on the ground, you can believe 330 00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:05,445 whatever you want to believe. 331 00:14:05,546 --> 00:14:07,614 But in the sky, we're all religious. 332 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:10,250 All of-- I don't care who you-- 333 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,286 I've seen people check in as atheists. 334 00:14:12,386 --> 00:14:14,054 Ah, they got all the swag at the check-in. 335 00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:15,322 "I don't believe in God." 336 00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:17,224 Yeah. Then, in the air, the right turbulence hits 337 00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:18,692 and then, all of a sudden, it's like, "Oh, Jesus. 338 00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:20,761 "Oh, please, Jesus, please. Jesus, please. 339 00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:23,397 "I'll never masturbate ever again. Please. 340 00:14:23,497 --> 00:14:24,831 Please!" 341 00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:28,068 You know who you are. 342 00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:29,236 All right, that's it for the headlines. 343 00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:30,871 But before we go to a break, let's check in 344 00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:33,207 on the stock market with our very own Michael Kosta, 345 00:14:33,307 --> 00:14:35,342 -everybody! -(cheering and applause) 346 00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:38,645 Good to see you, Mike. 347 00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:41,615 It's, uh... it's been crazy out there. 348 00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:42,683 Uh, what's going on with the market today? 349 00:14:42,783 --> 00:14:44,885 Dude, I am crushing the market. 350 00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:47,187 I mean, and... I am crushing the market. 351 00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:48,422 I got a hot tip for you 352 00:14:48,522 --> 00:14:50,090 and I got a hot tip for all you as well. 353 00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:51,458 I don't usually share it. But hot tip for you. 354 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,293 -Okay. -But first I want to talk to you. 355 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,629 -That music on the airplane. Right? -Yeah. 356 00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:58,131 I mean, how did that guy even get a full guitar back there 357 00:14:58,232 --> 00:14:59,766 as his carry-on, you know what I mean? 358 00:14:59,867 --> 00:15:00,834 I'm not even allowed to have 359 00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:02,836 a six-ounce bottle of Dasani water? 360 00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:05,205 And he's got a whole gu-- Maybe I should start putting my water 361 00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:07,674 in the guitar. You know? 362 00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:10,377 Is that what coach is like, back there? 363 00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:12,613 (laughing) 364 00:15:12,713 --> 00:15:13,847 Okay, okay. 365 00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:16,183 Look, as a warning to everybody, 366 00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:18,919 we don't want what happens on the subway 367 00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:21,555 to start happening on the airplane, right? 368 00:15:21,655 --> 00:15:22,956 People play music on the subway. 369 00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,725 We shouldn't have that on the airplane. 370 00:15:24,825 --> 00:15:26,727 People start break-dancing on the subway. 371 00:15:26,827 --> 00:15:28,061 We don't need that on the airplane. 372 00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:29,696 People hold the door open for their friend. 373 00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,064 Do that on an airplane, 374 00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:33,267 we're all gonna get sucked out at 30,000 feet. 375 00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:34,868 Look. Right? 376 00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,336 -Okay. -That's very valid. Yeah. It really i... 377 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,972 Oh, and here's the other thing about that Amazon story, Trevor. 378 00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:42,075 -Okay? They're gonna raise our prices? -Inflation? 379 00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:43,544 Here's an idea for Amazon-- 380 00:15:43,644 --> 00:15:46,280 why don't, i-instead of delivering all our goods 381 00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:49,183 to each of us, put it all in one central location 382 00:15:49,283 --> 00:15:52,719 and then we'll all go to that central location, 383 00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:54,354 okay, bring the whole family. 384 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,590 Maybe put a movie theater there. 385 00:15:57,991 --> 00:15:59,793 You could have different types of food 386 00:15:59,893 --> 00:16:01,728 and-and they would battle it out for our business. 387 00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:04,631 It'd be like a food court, so to speak. 388 00:16:05,766 --> 00:16:08,168 Uh, I-I think that's a mall. 389 00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:10,504 'Em all? That's a great name. 390 00:16:10,604 --> 00:16:12,606 So-- 'Cause-'cause it's got 'em all right there. 391 00:16:12,706 --> 00:16:14,741 That's why you get to sit down. I get it. 392 00:16:14,842 --> 00:16:16,543 -I get it. It's a good name. -Just tell us 393 00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,412 -what's happening in the market. -Look, look, I'm cru-- 394 00:16:18,512 --> 00:16:20,380 -I'm crushing the market, okay? All right. -Okay. 395 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:24,051 So, um, now, my high school cut a lot of its math programs 396 00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,052 and math books. 397 00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:27,187 So, to me, 398 00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:29,523 this is just a lot of letters on a chart. 399 00:16:29,623 --> 00:16:31,859 But there is something I'm seeing. 400 00:16:31,959 --> 00:16:34,394 You see this right here? This S&P, 'kay? 401 00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,964 That means "salt and pepper," all right? 402 00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:39,066 Everyone uses salt and pepper. 403 00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:41,201 Everyone's gonna continue to use salt and pepper. 404 00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:44,104 So I would buy S&P, salt and pepper, big-time. 405 00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:46,073 There you go, Trevor. That's the hot tip. 406 00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:48,475 (laughter, applause) 407 00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:50,544 You want some money, you're welcome. 408 00:16:50,644 --> 00:16:51,845 Thank-thank you, Michael. 409 00:16:51,945 --> 00:16:53,247 You're welcome. 410 00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:55,115 Like, I'm-I'm starting to wonder about your expertise. 411 00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:56,517 All right, when we come back, 412 00:16:56,617 --> 00:16:58,485 Ronny Chieng is gonna be talking about money. 413 00:16:58,585 --> 00:16:59,753 You don't want to miss it. 414 00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,188 -(cheering and applause) -That's not... 415 00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:03,323 that's not "salt and pepper." 416 00:17:10,645 --> 00:17:13,682 (applause and cheering) 417 00:17:18,220 --> 00:17:20,655 Welcome back to The Daily Show. 418 00:17:20,755 --> 00:17:24,793 Income tax-- it's the reason they threw Blade in jail. 419 00:17:24,893 --> 00:17:26,761 Today is Tax Day here in the United States, 420 00:17:26,862 --> 00:17:29,097 and the IRS deadline has Ronny Chieng thinking 421 00:17:29,197 --> 00:17:31,233 about America's weird relationship with money 422 00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:35,103 in another installment of "America, WTF." 423 00:17:35,203 --> 00:17:37,806 ♪ ♪ 424 00:17:44,079 --> 00:17:45,514 I love America. 425 00:17:45,614 --> 00:17:47,983 It's the only country where you can get a burger 426 00:17:48,083 --> 00:17:50,719 and a liposuction at the same drive-thru. 427 00:17:50,819 --> 00:17:53,321 But as someone who's also lived all around the world, 428 00:17:53,421 --> 00:17:56,158 I feel a responsibility to let America know 429 00:17:56,258 --> 00:17:58,460 that a lot of the things it does are super weird 430 00:17:58,560 --> 00:17:59,861 to the rest of us. 431 00:17:59,961 --> 00:18:03,098 And one of those things is how America does money. 432 00:18:03,198 --> 00:18:04,800 ♪ ♪ 433 00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:07,002 It's tax season which, right off the bat, 434 00:18:07,102 --> 00:18:09,337 is a sign that something is wrong, okay? 435 00:18:09,437 --> 00:18:11,907 Because taxes shouldn't have a whole season. 436 00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:13,842 Seasons are supposed to be for exciting stuff, 437 00:18:13,942 --> 00:18:16,578 like baseball season or wedding season 438 00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:19,014 or season two of Bridgerton. 439 00:18:19,114 --> 00:18:20,549 I can't wait to see which British person 440 00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:22,451 is jizzing on who this time. 441 00:18:22,551 --> 00:18:25,220 But America decided that filing taxes should be 442 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,688 as quick and painless 443 00:18:26,788 --> 00:18:29,224 as getting a root canal at the DMV. 444 00:18:29,324 --> 00:18:33,795 I mean, you got your 1099s, you got your form 1040s, 445 00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,096 you got your schedule Cs. 446 00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:36,765 You got your R2-D2s. 447 00:18:36,865 --> 00:18:38,567 You got your Blink-182s. 448 00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,402 You spend days trying to figure out 449 00:18:40,502 --> 00:18:41,803 what you owe the government, 450 00:18:41,903 --> 00:18:43,939 and then the government tells you if you're right 451 00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:46,341 because apparently, they knew the whole frigging time. 452 00:18:46,441 --> 00:18:48,977 It's like the world's most pointless game show. 453 00:18:49,077 --> 00:18:51,179 Aside from The Price Is Right, obviously. 454 00:18:51,279 --> 00:18:53,348 Because nobody should get a new car 455 00:18:53,448 --> 00:18:55,217 for knowing how much ketchup costs. 456 00:18:55,317 --> 00:18:56,952 Look, I hate to break it to you guys, 457 00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:58,253 but in a lot of other countries, 458 00:18:58,353 --> 00:19:02,124 the government does all that filing for you. 459 00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:04,860 Yeah, they do the math, they send you a statement. 460 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:06,828 And if it looks good, you click "okay," 461 00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:08,130 and then you're done. 462 00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:10,732 It's so easy, a baby could do it. 463 00:19:10,832 --> 00:19:12,901 But they don't have to because they're lazy freeloaders 464 00:19:13,001 --> 00:19:14,436 who don't pay taxes. 465 00:19:14,536 --> 00:19:16,037 It's not just your income taxes. 466 00:19:16,138 --> 00:19:18,306 All taxes in America are weird. 467 00:19:18,406 --> 00:19:20,942 In a lot of other countries, you see a price on something, 468 00:19:21,042 --> 00:19:22,410 and that's how much it costs 469 00:19:22,511 --> 00:19:25,547 because that's the whole point of a goddamn price. 470 00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:28,383 But no, not in America. 471 00:19:28,483 --> 00:19:29,885 When you pay for something in America, 472 00:19:29,985 --> 00:19:32,254 they hit you with a surprise sales tax. 473 00:19:32,354 --> 00:19:33,755 They're basically catfishing you. 474 00:19:33,855 --> 00:19:37,526 I know that $600 TV looks good, but it's lying. 475 00:19:37,692 --> 00:19:40,095 It's $650, and it has a secret family. 476 00:19:40,195 --> 00:19:41,463 But don't get me wrong. 477 00:19:41,563 --> 00:19:44,966 Taxes are far from America's only insane money issue. 478 00:19:45,066 --> 00:19:47,135 Okay? I know you guys are used to it, 479 00:19:47,235 --> 00:19:48,837 but I need you to realize 480 00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:52,574 that the way you tip in this country is not normal. 481 00:19:52,707 --> 00:19:55,544 Everywhere else, a tip is a show of appreciation, 482 00:19:55,710 --> 00:19:58,814 not a GoFundMe for someone who doesn't earn a living wage. 483 00:19:58,914 --> 00:20:00,916 A waiter's ability to pay rent shouldn't depend 484 00:20:01,016 --> 00:20:03,919 on how generous Becky feels after three martinis. 485 00:20:04,019 --> 00:20:06,721 And the real issue is how arbitrary your tipping is. 486 00:20:06,822 --> 00:20:09,090 You tip the guy who delivers your food 487 00:20:09,191 --> 00:20:11,092 but not the guy who delivers your packages? 488 00:20:11,193 --> 00:20:12,761 And you tip the person who made your coffee 489 00:20:12,861 --> 00:20:14,796 but not the person who made your Big Mac. 490 00:20:14,896 --> 00:20:17,265 And don't even get me started on tip jars. 491 00:20:17,365 --> 00:20:19,334 Okay? You don't have to put money in, 492 00:20:19,434 --> 00:20:22,270 but if you do, you got to make a big show of it. 493 00:20:22,370 --> 00:20:24,072 I like to shoot my cash into the jar 494 00:20:24,172 --> 00:20:25,574 like a basketballer, shouting, 495 00:20:25,674 --> 00:20:28,877 "He tips, he scores!" 496 00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:31,546 If you bank it off the cashier, they usually notice. 497 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:34,116 But as weird as taxes and tipping are in America, 498 00:20:34,216 --> 00:20:37,519 let's not forget about the actual money itself, 499 00:20:37,686 --> 00:20:41,289 because American physical currency sucks. 500 00:20:41,389 --> 00:20:43,158 I don't know if you know this, but in other countries, 501 00:20:43,258 --> 00:20:45,527 every denomination is a different size 502 00:20:45,694 --> 00:20:47,562 because it makes it easier to tell them apart, 503 00:20:47,696 --> 00:20:49,164 especially if you're blind. 504 00:20:49,264 --> 00:20:51,032 But apparently blind people 505 00:20:51,133 --> 00:20:52,434 don't need to use money in America, 506 00:20:52,534 --> 00:20:54,569 'cause look at this shit. 507 00:20:54,703 --> 00:20:57,172 Same exact size. All of it. 508 00:20:57,272 --> 00:20:59,207 You got to look over each individual bill 509 00:20:59,307 --> 00:21:01,743 to figure out which slave owner to hand over. 510 00:21:01,843 --> 00:21:04,279 And while we're talking about your strange money, 511 00:21:04,379 --> 00:21:06,982 who decided a pyramid with a freaking eye 512 00:21:07,082 --> 00:21:09,017 was a normal thing to put on the dollar? 513 00:21:09,117 --> 00:21:10,852 Hey, rule of thumb, America-- 514 00:21:10,952 --> 00:21:13,388 if Nick Cage can make a movie about your money, 515 00:21:13,488 --> 00:21:14,990 you're doing it wrong. 516 00:21:15,090 --> 00:21:16,691 Not to mention the pennies. 517 00:21:16,792 --> 00:21:17,959 Like, why do these still exist 518 00:21:18,059 --> 00:21:19,995 when everyone's just trying to get rid of 'em? 519 00:21:20,095 --> 00:21:21,830 Even convenience stores have that "take a penny, 520 00:21:21,930 --> 00:21:23,131 leave a penny" dish. 521 00:21:23,231 --> 00:21:25,834 It's like an animal shelter for unwanted money. 522 00:21:25,934 --> 00:21:28,370 Did you know that America actually loses money 523 00:21:28,470 --> 00:21:30,138 making pennies? 524 00:21:30,238 --> 00:21:32,507 If you're gonna have a hobby that loses you money, 525 00:21:32,674 --> 00:21:35,243 get a gambling addiction, like a normal person. 526 00:21:35,343 --> 00:21:37,913 'Kay? Listen, your whole financial system's stupid 527 00:21:38,013 --> 00:21:39,114 and I hate it, all right? 528 00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:41,983 The money, the tipping, the taxes. 529 00:21:42,083 --> 00:21:43,518 That's why I found a way 530 00:21:43,685 --> 00:21:46,021 to avoid dealing with it altogether. 531 00:21:46,121 --> 00:21:47,055 All right? (chuckles) 532 00:21:47,155 --> 00:21:49,224 The secret is, they can't tax you 533 00:21:49,324 --> 00:21:51,293 if they don't know you have it. 534 00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:53,428 (alarm ringing) 535 00:21:55,897 --> 00:21:56,965 (groans) 536 00:21:57,065 --> 00:21:59,568 So much easier robbing a bank in Europe. 537 00:22:10,412 --> 00:22:12,447 ♪ ♪ 538 00:22:14,249 --> 00:22:15,417 Thank you so much for that, Ronny Chieng. 539 00:22:15,517 --> 00:22:17,085 All right, when we come back, the one and only 540 00:22:17,185 --> 00:22:19,688 iconic Janelle Monáe is joining us on the show. 541 00:22:19,788 --> 00:22:21,823 -So stay tuned. -(cheering and applause) 542 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:32,955 (applause and cheering) 543 00:22:34,256 --> 00:22:36,525 Welcome back to The Daily Show. 544 00:22:36,625 --> 00:22:39,962 My guest tonight is Grammy-nominated artist 545 00:22:40,062 --> 00:22:41,730 actor and author Janelle Monáe. 546 00:22:41,831 --> 00:22:43,966 She's here to talk about her debut book, 547 00:22:44,066 --> 00:22:46,235 The Memory Librarian. 548 00:22:46,335 --> 00:22:47,970 Please welcome Janelle Monáe. 549 00:22:48,070 --> 00:22:51,474 -(applause and cheering) -♪ ♪ 550 00:22:54,543 --> 00:22:55,978 -Welcome. -Thank you. 551 00:22:56,078 --> 00:22:57,746 Great to see you. 552 00:22:57,847 --> 00:23:00,783 Hi. Hello. 553 00:23:00,883 --> 00:23:05,688 (applause and cheering) 554 00:23:05,788 --> 00:23:08,457 -Welcome back to The Daily Show. -Wow. This is... 555 00:23:08,557 --> 00:23:09,792 That's what I say every time I see you. 556 00:23:09,892 --> 00:23:11,327 -Yes. -This is huge. Hi, Trevor. 557 00:23:11,427 --> 00:23:13,129 -This is fun. This is fun. We're back. -I am so happy to be back. 558 00:23:13,229 --> 00:23:14,697 -I am so happy to be back. -You know, back with the people. 559 00:23:14,797 --> 00:23:16,365 -I'm so happy to see you. -I'm happy to you have here. 560 00:23:16,465 --> 00:23:18,300 'Cause, like, when I talk to you over Zoom, 561 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:20,336 I don't get, like... For those who don't know, 562 00:23:20,436 --> 00:23:22,204 Janelle Monáe always looks like this. 563 00:23:22,304 --> 00:23:23,706 Like, just always... 564 00:23:23,806 --> 00:23:26,475 No. You are easily one of the most, like, glamorous, 565 00:23:26,575 --> 00:23:29,278 -stylish people I have ever come across in my life. -Oh. 566 00:23:29,378 --> 00:23:30,713 Like, you look like 567 00:23:30,813 --> 00:23:32,882 how we're just supposed to dress as a thing. 568 00:23:33,015 --> 00:23:34,517 You are so kind. 569 00:23:34,617 --> 00:23:37,286 I totally paid him to say these things. 570 00:23:37,386 --> 00:23:39,288 You know, we're in the pandemic. 571 00:23:39,388 --> 00:23:41,023 -He was trying to make some extra money and... -Yeah, I was. 572 00:23:41,123 --> 00:23:42,424 Giving compliments. 573 00:23:42,525 --> 00:23:43,926 My side hustle was complimenting Janelle Monáe. 574 00:23:44,026 --> 00:23:46,595 Um, welcome back to the show. How is life? 575 00:23:46,695 --> 00:23:47,830 How's everything treating you? 576 00:23:47,930 --> 00:23:49,765 Because you are one of the few people I know 577 00:23:49,865 --> 00:23:51,801 who just seems to excel in everything do you. 578 00:23:51,901 --> 00:23:54,503 Music-- you excel, and it's your own type of music. 579 00:23:54,603 --> 00:23:56,438 It's your own vibe. It's different, it's not easy. 580 00:23:56,539 --> 00:23:59,642 -Mm. -Then movies you excel-- everything, Hidden Figures. 581 00:23:59,742 --> 00:24:01,777 I mean, now you're gonna be in the new Knives Out. 582 00:24:01,877 --> 00:24:03,779 It's just like, your life is a dream, and now a book 583 00:24:03,879 --> 00:24:06,048 -that's already got starred reviews. -Oh, my God. 584 00:24:06,115 --> 00:24:08,350 -Well, tell it to my therapist. -How are you? -(laughter) 585 00:24:08,450 --> 00:24:11,520 Because clearly, clearly, there's a lot things 586 00:24:11,620 --> 00:24:14,256 that I have to fix according to them. 587 00:24:14,356 --> 00:24:16,192 -Um, I'm amazing. -Yeah? 588 00:24:16,292 --> 00:24:18,294 I'm amazing, man. I'm gonna say that. 589 00:24:18,394 --> 00:24:20,062 -(applause and cheering) -I love that. 590 00:24:20,162 --> 00:24:22,264 And... and I'll say this. 591 00:24:22,364 --> 00:24:24,066 I used to kind of just say that, you know? 592 00:24:24,099 --> 00:24:25,468 'Cause "How are you doing?" "I'm doing great. 593 00:24:25,568 --> 00:24:28,070 How are you doing?" But I am do... 594 00:24:28,103 --> 00:24:29,605 I am, like, in the most, 595 00:24:29,705 --> 00:24:31,874 "I don't have to prove anything" space 596 00:24:32,007 --> 00:24:34,376 -that I've ever been in in my life. -Ooh. Ooh. 597 00:24:34,477 --> 00:24:38,013 Um, yeah, and it took me a while to get there 598 00:24:38,113 --> 00:24:40,816 because, you know, as public people, 599 00:24:40,916 --> 00:24:43,118 we try to inspire people with our words. 600 00:24:43,219 --> 00:24:46,322 But I don't feel like I was really living what I was saying. 601 00:24:46,422 --> 00:24:48,324 Oh, I like that. 602 00:24:48,424 --> 00:24:51,160 I wasn't really believing in it myself. 603 00:24:51,260 --> 00:24:53,195 I was saying it, it was helping other people, 604 00:24:53,295 --> 00:24:56,532 but I had to do some deep healing during the pandemic. 605 00:24:56,632 --> 00:24:58,234 -Well... -I was dealing with a lot of rejection 606 00:24:58,334 --> 00:24:59,835 -and abandonment issues... -Uh-huh. 607 00:24:59,935 --> 00:25:01,170 just from, like, my childhood. 608 00:25:01,270 --> 00:25:03,539 Things that I had just kind of kept in me. 609 00:25:03,639 --> 00:25:05,174 And they were just coming to the surface. 610 00:25:05,274 --> 00:25:07,376 And I think one of the things that the pandemic has done 611 00:25:07,476 --> 00:25:10,346 is forced us all to go in, 612 00:25:10,446 --> 00:25:11,847 -stay in. -To sit with ourselves. Right. 613 00:25:11,947 --> 00:25:15,384 Yeah, and so, I'm at this place where, like, 614 00:25:15,484 --> 00:25:17,453 I'm ready to celebrate. 615 00:25:17,553 --> 00:25:19,054 If we're not talking about vacations, 616 00:25:19,121 --> 00:25:20,356 I don't want to talk. 617 00:25:20,456 --> 00:25:22,391 If we're not planning a vacation, I don't... 618 00:25:22,491 --> 00:25:25,394 I don't... It's just like, "What are we doing?" 619 00:25:25,494 --> 00:25:28,697 -I love that. -We are supposed to be living our best lives. 620 00:25:28,798 --> 00:25:32,034 -I'm young, I'm creative. -Hey! Hey! 621 00:25:32,134 --> 00:25:34,036 -(applause and cheering) -(speaking foreign language) 622 00:25:34,136 --> 00:25:36,071 Right? I'm... No, seriously. 623 00:25:36,172 --> 00:25:37,873 Like, we're supposed to be living 624 00:25:38,007 --> 00:25:40,776 our earth experience in the best possible way, 625 00:25:40,876 --> 00:25:44,513 and think when I first started my career, I was really serious. 626 00:25:44,613 --> 00:25:47,817 -Like, I have to prove a point. -Yes. Yes. 627 00:25:47,917 --> 00:25:50,252 I have to prove that just because I look like this, 628 00:25:50,352 --> 00:25:52,221 -I can do this type of music. -Right, right, right. 629 00:25:52,321 --> 00:25:54,824 I can say these things, I can talk about science fiction. 630 00:25:54,924 --> 00:25:56,525 I had a lot to prove. 631 00:25:56,625 --> 00:25:59,428 Um, but now, man, I'm floating. 632 00:25:59,528 --> 00:26:01,030 We feel it. 633 00:26:01,096 --> 00:26:02,932 -I love that. That's beautiful. -Yeah. 634 00:26:03,032 --> 00:26:04,366 (applause) 635 00:26:04,467 --> 00:26:06,101 And you know what, it's-it's interesting 636 00:26:06,202 --> 00:26:07,837 because you start to feel that with artists 637 00:26:07,937 --> 00:26:09,505 when they hit that groove, you know? 638 00:26:09,605 --> 00:26:11,073 -Yeah. -Because I-I think everyone goes through a phase 639 00:26:11,173 --> 00:26:12,808 -of "you have to prove." You know? Because... -Yeah. 640 00:26:12,908 --> 00:26:14,210 -I'm sure you understand that. -Oh, yeah, definitely. 641 00:26:14,310 --> 00:26:15,511 -Coming from... -Because initially, 642 00:26:15,611 --> 00:26:17,279 you're going, "Will I keep the job? 643 00:26:17,379 --> 00:26:19,181 -Do I belong here?" There's impostor syndrome. -Yeah. 644 00:26:19,281 --> 00:26:20,716 -Mm. -Over time, you develop a trust. 645 00:26:20,816 --> 00:26:22,518 Yourself, the audience, your experiences. 646 00:26:22,618 --> 00:26:24,687 -Yeah. -The book feels like the perfect representation 647 00:26:24,787 --> 00:26:27,089 of that for me, because I knew that you liked science fiction. 648 00:26:27,189 --> 00:26:28,691 -(chuckles) -You know? I mean, like, you know, 649 00:26:28,791 --> 00:26:31,026 your-your albums, for instance. Your music videos. 650 00:26:31,127 --> 00:26:32,595 You-You've never been afraid 651 00:26:32,695 --> 00:26:34,130 to say, like, "I like science fiction." 652 00:26:34,230 --> 00:26:36,499 But now you wrote a book of short stories, 653 00:26:36,599 --> 00:26:38,000 and I was like, "Oh, no, 654 00:26:38,033 --> 00:26:40,269 -Janelle Monáe loves science fiction." -Yes. 655 00:26:40,369 --> 00:26:42,438 -I do. -'Cause you cowrote with some amazing authors. 656 00:26:42,538 --> 00:26:43,906 -Yes. -Let's-let's start with that. 657 00:26:44,006 --> 00:26:45,908 How did you even begin this process of going, 658 00:26:46,008 --> 00:26:48,010 "You know what? I want to write, like, a future book"? 659 00:26:48,110 --> 00:26:51,213 So, this, um, short story collection 660 00:26:51,313 --> 00:26:53,616 is from the soil of Dirty Computer, 661 00:26:53,716 --> 00:26:55,784 -my album that came out in 2018. -Yes. 662 00:26:55,885 --> 00:26:57,253 And I released a film with that. 663 00:26:57,353 --> 00:26:59,155 And I knew I had more to say. 664 00:26:59,255 --> 00:27:01,724 Sat down in the pandemic, 2022... 665 00:27:01,824 --> 00:27:03,459 Excuse me. Look at me, don't even know my dates. 666 00:27:03,559 --> 00:27:05,194 I'm from the future. Sorry. Excuse me. 667 00:27:05,294 --> 00:27:07,763 -(laughter) -Um, I sat down in the pandemic. 668 00:27:07,863 --> 00:27:09,732 -2020. -Right. 669 00:27:09,832 --> 00:27:12,201 And I finally said that there's more. 670 00:27:12,301 --> 00:27:15,137 And, um, you know, I was on mushrooms, 671 00:27:15,237 --> 00:27:19,074 and I just came up with all of these thought experiments, 672 00:27:19,175 --> 00:27:20,442 you know, where I was like, 673 00:27:20,543 --> 00:27:23,412 "What if there was this Black woman"? 674 00:27:23,512 --> 00:27:26,448 She was the memory keeper of this city. 675 00:27:26,549 --> 00:27:28,884 She knew all of the people's memories 676 00:27:29,051 --> 00:27:30,352 before they were cleaned, 677 00:27:30,453 --> 00:27:32,588 before their identities were wiped clean. 678 00:27:32,688 --> 00:27:35,124 -Mm. -And she wants to fall in love. 679 00:27:35,224 --> 00:27:37,393 What does that mean when you want to fall in love 680 00:27:37,493 --> 00:27:39,428 but you know everybody's secrets? 681 00:27:39,528 --> 00:27:41,997 -(exhales) That's the first story. -What does that mean? 682 00:27:42,064 --> 00:27:43,466 So, that's the first one. It's called "The Memory Librarian." 683 00:27:43,566 --> 00:27:45,034 Yeah. That's just the first story. Imagine that. 684 00:27:45,134 --> 00:27:46,535 -WOMAN: Oh. -First... You see, you were already like, "Ooh." 685 00:27:46,635 --> 00:27:48,471 -First story. -Yeah. 686 00:27:48,571 --> 00:27:49,705 -(laughter and applause) -And then... 687 00:27:49,805 --> 00:27:53,042 And then what if you lived in New York 688 00:27:53,142 --> 00:27:56,178 and there was a room that could you go into 689 00:27:56,278 --> 00:27:57,480 you didn't even know existed. 690 00:27:57,580 --> 00:28:00,449 But when you went into this room, time stopped. 691 00:28:00,549 --> 00:28:03,185 -So... Ooh, yeah. -(laughter) 692 00:28:03,285 --> 00:28:04,920 So you could... 693 00:28:05,020 --> 00:28:06,622 It kind of speaks to time poverty 694 00:28:06,722 --> 00:28:07,656 -in a sense. -Right. Right. 695 00:28:07,756 --> 00:28:09,091 You know Black and brown folks, 696 00:28:09,191 --> 00:28:11,560 -we've been spending our life fighting, right? -Mm-hmm. 697 00:28:11,660 --> 00:28:13,295 To-to be included, all these things. 698 00:28:13,395 --> 00:28:16,499 What if you had an opportunity to steal time, to get time back? 699 00:28:16,599 --> 00:28:20,035 Would you rest? Would you show the community this place? 700 00:28:20,136 --> 00:28:21,604 How-how would you... 701 00:28:21,704 --> 00:28:24,640 If you could get time back, how would you use it? 702 00:28:24,740 --> 00:28:27,042 I love how you've used the stories in the book 703 00:28:27,109 --> 00:28:30,579 to delve into topics that sometimes are too dense 704 00:28:30,679 --> 00:28:31,981 or-or too... 705 00:28:32,014 --> 00:28:34,350 like, you know, they're fraught with politics. 706 00:28:34,450 --> 00:28:36,252 And they don't let us just think about them. 707 00:28:36,352 --> 00:28:37,887 For instance, the first story you talked about, 708 00:28:37,987 --> 00:28:39,722 it's in the future. There's this woman. 709 00:28:39,822 --> 00:28:41,490 She's got all these memories. How does she trust people? 710 00:28:41,590 --> 00:28:42,625 -How does she know people? -Yeah. 711 00:28:42,725 --> 00:28:44,026 And all I found myself thinking... 712 00:28:44,126 --> 00:28:45,995 I was like, "Man, I feel like that's what social media 713 00:28:46,061 --> 00:28:47,663 -is slowly slipping us into." -Mm. 714 00:28:47,763 --> 00:28:50,099 People have now lived their entire life online. 715 00:28:50,199 --> 00:28:51,400 -Yeah. -Now we're in a generation 716 00:28:51,500 --> 00:28:53,169 where people have gone, "From my baby steps 717 00:28:53,269 --> 00:28:56,005 "all the way through, I have existed online. 718 00:28:56,105 --> 00:28:58,541 "So now do I have any anonymity? 719 00:28:58,641 --> 00:29:00,276 "Can I write my own story 720 00:29:00,376 --> 00:29:03,145 -without other people writing it from my posts?" -Yeah. 721 00:29:03,245 --> 00:29:05,047 Yeah. I mean, I think that, you know, 722 00:29:05,147 --> 00:29:07,049 social media is a virtual reality. 723 00:29:07,149 --> 00:29:09,518 It's a whole nother world. Like, people create, 724 00:29:09,618 --> 00:29:12,087 and we curate the type of people that we are. 725 00:29:12,188 --> 00:29:15,891 I think being human, in my opinion, is performative. 726 00:29:16,025 --> 00:29:17,426 -Mm. -I'm performing a version 727 00:29:17,526 --> 00:29:19,462 of what I think Janelle Monáe should be. 728 00:29:19,562 --> 00:29:21,163 -Damn. -Told you I'm from the future, 729 00:29:21,263 --> 00:29:22,364 -so... -Yeah, no. 730 00:29:22,465 --> 00:29:24,133 It gets deep. It gets deep. 731 00:29:24,233 --> 00:29:25,801 It's all feedback. 732 00:29:25,901 --> 00:29:27,636 We're getting feedback from how we should be, 733 00:29:27,736 --> 00:29:29,505 -how what we've seen we didn't like, what... -Mm-hmm. 734 00:29:29,605 --> 00:29:31,640 And it's like, "Ah, now I'm this person" 735 00:29:31,740 --> 00:29:32,808 because of the information. 736 00:29:32,975 --> 00:29:34,310 But that's a whole nother story. 737 00:29:34,410 --> 00:29:36,145 Um, I think you're right. 738 00:29:36,245 --> 00:29:38,581 I think that there is some gathering done there, 739 00:29:38,681 --> 00:29:40,416 uh, with our memories. 740 00:29:40,516 --> 00:29:43,185 And, with this book, I'm just challenging everybody 741 00:29:43,285 --> 00:29:45,421 to be their own memory librarian. 742 00:29:45,521 --> 00:29:47,123 Like, I started to look at my life 743 00:29:47,223 --> 00:29:49,725 and I-I started to think about, man, I was... 744 00:29:49,825 --> 00:29:53,062 I didn't-- I wasn't in the moment in so many ways. 745 00:29:53,162 --> 00:29:55,598 -Yeah. Yes. -I was so in the future here for, like, 746 00:29:55,698 --> 00:29:57,133 the majority of my career. 747 00:29:57,233 --> 00:29:58,334 I was in the future. 748 00:29:58,434 --> 00:30:01,470 And so how can I create memories now? 749 00:30:01,570 --> 00:30:03,672 Like, our memories are the things 750 00:30:03,772 --> 00:30:05,708 -that determine the quality of our life. -Right. 751 00:30:05,808 --> 00:30:07,443 Without them, who are we? 752 00:30:07,543 --> 00:30:10,246 You know? When you take away somebody's identity 753 00:30:10,346 --> 00:30:12,214 and who they are, it's just like... 754 00:30:12,314 --> 00:30:15,184 that-that was their life's experience, you know? 755 00:30:15,284 --> 00:30:17,153 -That's deep. Wow. -Yeah. 756 00:30:17,253 --> 00:30:19,922 -Who are we? -And I-I want to shout out Alaya Dawn Johnson. 757 00:30:20,022 --> 00:30:22,358 I wrote The Memory Librarian with her. 758 00:30:22,458 --> 00:30:25,094 And I wrote th-this-this entire collection-- 759 00:30:25,194 --> 00:30:28,364 Each short story, I partnered with a writer 760 00:30:28,464 --> 00:30:30,199 -that I... -How did you choose them? I would love to know-- 761 00:30:30,299 --> 00:30:31,634 -Yeah. -Well, friends who were writers. 762 00:30:31,734 --> 00:30:33,435 -Right. -'Cause I knew, like, okay, with-- 763 00:30:33,536 --> 00:30:35,237 There's a story called "Nevermind," 764 00:30:35,337 --> 00:30:38,040 and there is, uh, an incredible writer, uh, 765 00:30:38,140 --> 00:30:40,709 by the name of Danny Lore. And nonbinary. 766 00:30:40,810 --> 00:30:43,445 And they are just really, really good when it comes to action. 767 00:30:43,546 --> 00:30:45,815 Like, they're doing some stuff with this James, uh, 768 00:30:45,981 --> 00:30:48,083 Bond, uh, graphic novel, and I was like, 769 00:30:48,184 --> 00:30:50,319 "Okay, Danny will be great for that." 770 00:30:50,419 --> 00:30:51,987 And then, uh, Eve L. Ewing, 771 00:30:52,021 --> 00:30:53,622 -I did "Timebox" with. -Oh, yes. Of course. 772 00:30:53,722 --> 00:30:57,159 Um, Sheree Renée Thomas, I did "Timebox Altar(ed)" with. 773 00:30:57,259 --> 00:31:00,663 Uh, Yohanca Delgado, I did "Save Changes." 774 00:31:00,763 --> 00:31:03,999 Imagine if you could go back and there was this device 775 00:31:04,033 --> 00:31:05,534 and you wanted to just, like-- 776 00:31:05,634 --> 00:31:06,869 Ah, I don't want to give too much away, 777 00:31:07,002 --> 00:31:08,804 but these stories are just incredible. 778 00:31:08,904 --> 00:31:12,408 And then, um, you know, I said, uh, Alaya Dawn Johnson. 779 00:31:12,508 --> 00:31:14,143 -Right. -I just wanted to make sure I shout them out, 780 00:31:14,243 --> 00:31:17,213 because this was a super innovative way of releasing, 781 00:31:17,313 --> 00:31:18,914 -uh, a book. -It really is. 782 00:31:19,014 --> 00:31:20,516 You know-- you know, what I enjoyed about it is, 783 00:31:20,616 --> 00:31:23,219 when you go from story to story, what you've done is 784 00:31:23,319 --> 00:31:25,721 there is the common thread of Janelle Monáe. 785 00:31:25,821 --> 00:31:28,124 I can feel the future you in all these stories 786 00:31:28,224 --> 00:31:29,225 and the way you think. 787 00:31:29,325 --> 00:31:31,026 But then it's infused with, like, 788 00:31:31,127 --> 00:31:32,995 -different elements from all of the different writers. -Yeah. 789 00:31:33,095 --> 00:31:34,964 You know? If you-- if you know Eve's writing and her style, 790 00:31:35,064 --> 00:31:36,365 -you can feel it in some of the dialogue... -Yes. 791 00:31:36,465 --> 00:31:37,566 -...and some of the moments. -Yeah. 792 00:31:37,666 --> 00:31:38,968 -She's incredible. -If you know the author, 793 00:31:39,001 --> 00:31:41,504 it becomes-- So it-it's almost like you've created 794 00:31:41,604 --> 00:31:43,305 the first book that has, like, "features" on it. 795 00:31:43,405 --> 00:31:45,407 Yeah, it's like a-- it's like a compilation album. 796 00:31:45,508 --> 00:31:47,176 -It really is. No, it's-it's... -It is. Like a mixtape. 797 00:31:47,276 --> 00:31:48,878 -(laughs) -It's phenomenal. So it-- They-they feel 798 00:31:48,978 --> 00:31:50,346 -so different from story to story... -Yeah. Yeah. 799 00:31:50,446 --> 00:31:51,780 ...and yet they have a common thread. 800 00:31:51,881 --> 00:31:53,782 I can see why it's getting rave reviews. 801 00:31:53,883 --> 00:31:56,786 I can see-- Like, now the question is, 802 00:31:56,886 --> 00:31:58,687 are you gonna turn this into-- 803 00:31:58,788 --> 00:32:01,157 -I know it started with the album that's a movie... -Mm-hmm. 804 00:32:01,257 --> 00:32:03,559 ...and then now there's a book, but now this book seems like 805 00:32:03,659 --> 00:32:05,528 -it-it's begging to be turned into a TV show. -Yeah. 806 00:32:05,628 --> 00:32:07,429 You think so? Do you think it could be a TV show? 807 00:32:07,530 --> 00:32:09,165 -Every time I was reading this, I was like, "Wow." -Okay, guys, 808 00:32:09,265 --> 00:32:11,500 -everybody watching, listen. -(cheering and applause) 809 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:13,002 -We're gonna do it. -We need to make this happen. 810 00:32:13,035 --> 00:32:14,436 -We're gonna make it happen, -Let's make it happen. 811 00:32:14,537 --> 00:32:15,704 We're gonna make it happen. Thank you so much for joining me 812 00:32:15,805 --> 00:32:17,439 -on the show. -Thank you. I adore you. 813 00:32:17,540 --> 00:32:18,808 -Thank you for being here. -I'm so proud of you. 814 00:32:18,908 --> 00:32:19,842 -Give him a round of applause! -Thank you for finding 815 00:32:20,009 --> 00:32:21,377 -your happiness. -(cheering) 816 00:32:21,477 --> 00:32:22,545 Janelle Monáe, everybody! 817 00:32:22,645 --> 00:32:24,079 -Thank you. -The Memory Librarian 818 00:32:24,180 --> 00:32:25,881 will be available April 19. 819 00:32:26,015 --> 00:32:27,016 We're gonna take a quick break, 820 00:32:27,082 --> 00:32:29,418 but we'll be right back after this. 821 00:32:29,518 --> 00:32:30,619 I love that. 822 00:32:30,719 --> 00:32:32,755 (cheering, applause) 823 00:32:37,597 --> 00:32:38,564 (cheering and applause) 824 00:32:38,664 --> 00:32:39,565 Well, that's our show for tonight. 825 00:32:39,665 --> 00:32:41,167 Thank you so much for tuning in. 826 00:32:41,267 --> 00:32:43,569 Before we go, millions of families in Ukraine 827 00:32:43,669 --> 00:32:45,771 have fled their homes in search of safety. 828 00:32:45,872 --> 00:32:48,074 Working with restaurant partners across Ukraine 829 00:32:48,174 --> 00:32:50,543 and in six countries, World Central Kitchen 830 00:32:50,643 --> 00:32:54,147 is providing hundreds of thousands of nourishing meals 831 00:32:54,247 --> 00:32:55,848 for people in need every day. 832 00:32:55,948 --> 00:32:57,783 Additionally, WCK teams 833 00:32:57,884 --> 00:32:59,719 are working to get bulk food products 834 00:32:59,819 --> 00:33:01,988 into communities under constant attack. 835 00:33:02,088 --> 00:33:03,656 So, please, if you can support them 836 00:33:03,756 --> 00:33:05,558 in their emergency food relief efforts, 837 00:33:05,658 --> 00:33:07,260 then donate at the link below. 838 00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,095 Until tomorrow, stay safe out there. 839 00:33:09,195 --> 00:33:10,263 And, remember, 840 00:33:10,363 --> 00:33:12,498 if you need to calculate your tip at a restaurant 841 00:33:12,598 --> 00:33:13,800 and you're struggling, 842 00:33:13,900 --> 00:33:18,070 multiply the hypotenuse by x. 843 00:33:18,171 --> 00:33:21,073 Now here it is, Your Moment of Zen. 844 00:33:21,174 --> 00:33:23,209 ♪ ♪ 845 00:33:26,612 --> 00:33:28,781 When the president started talking about blaming 846 00:33:28,881 --> 00:33:31,184 the Putin price hike, uh, a bird pooped on him. 847 00:33:31,284 --> 00:33:34,620 At what point did he realize that that had happened? 848 00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:37,590 DOOCY: Uh, hopefully before he puts that jacket on again. 849 00:33:37,690 --> 00:33:40,059 -(laughter) -Uh, and, for the record, 850 00:33:40,159 --> 00:33:42,862 they claim that it was not from a bird 851 00:33:42,962 --> 00:33:44,864 but, rather, it was from corn. 852 00:33:44,964 --> 00:33:46,532 They say here at the White House, 853 00:33:46,699 --> 00:33:48,334 the communications professionals here 854 00:33:48,434 --> 00:33:50,837 who are tasked with responding to Bird Poop-gate, 855 00:33:50,937 --> 00:33:52,405 uh, they say that it was corn. 856 00:33:52,505 --> 00:33:54,874 Uh, so don't blame the bird-- blame the corn. 857 00:33:54,974 --> 00:33:56,609 -Bird Poop-gate. All right. -Mm-hmm. 858 00:33:56,709 --> 00:33:57,977 Thank you, Peter.