1
00:00:00,968 --> 00:00:02,102
♪ ♪
2
00:00:02,202 --> 00:00:03,670
ANNOUNCER: Coming to you
from New York City,
3
00:00:03,770 --> 00:00:05,339
the only city in America,
4
00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:07,307
it's The Daily Show.
5
00:00:07,407 --> 00:00:08,976
Tonight,
6
00:00:09,076 --> 00:00:11,678
will Trump tweet again?
7
00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:14,248
The latest in streaming.
8
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,917
And Burna Boy.
9
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:21,088
This is The Daily Show
with Trevor Noah.
10
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:23,223
(cheering and applause)
11
00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:37,204
What's going on, everybody?!
12
00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:39,339
Welcome to The Daily Show.
I'm Trevor Noah.
13
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:40,541
Thank you so much for tuning in!
14
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:42,843
Thank you for coming out
in person!
15
00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:44,444
Oh, yeah!
16
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:45,913
I love it. You guys feel great.
17
00:00:46,013 --> 00:00:47,447
Take a seat.
Take a seat, everybody.
18
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,049
Take a seat. Take a seat.
19
00:00:49,149 --> 00:00:50,684
Oh, man, you guys are fun.
This is gonna be great.
20
00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:51,885
We got a hot show for you
tonight.
21
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,354
Our guest is
an international superstar,
22
00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:57,391
the Grammy-winning rapper and
singer straight out of Nigeria,
23
00:00:57,491 --> 00:01:00,327
-Burna Boy is joining us
on the show! -(cheering)
24
00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:02,262
(sings indistinctly)
25
00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:04,698
Plus, Roy Wood Jr.
is gonna bring us the traffic.
26
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:08,068
And you will get
an exclusive first look
27
00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:10,137
at the future of The Daily Show.
28
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:11,238
Oh, man, I'm excited.
29
00:01:11,338 --> 00:01:12,506
So, let's do this, people.
30
00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:15,075
Let's jump straight
into today's headlines.
31
00:01:15,142 --> 00:01:17,177
-(cheering and applause)
-♪ ♪
32
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:25,085
Okay, let's kick things off
33
00:01:25,152 --> 00:01:29,289
with all of the continuing saga
of Twitter and Elon Musk.
34
00:01:29,389 --> 00:01:31,859
Right? Yesterday, the Tesla CEO
35
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,528
and man who has
definitely made love to a robot
36
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,864
officially purchased Twitter,
37
00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:39,366
setting off a wave of takes so
hot, they burned off my eyebrows
38
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:40,834
and I had to draw them back on.
39
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,002
Everyone was going crazy.
40
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,971
"Twitter is over!"
"Twitter is back!"
41
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,740
"Twitter killed
Jeffrey Epstein."
42
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,175
But one of the biggest takes
43
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:51,011
came from former Twitter CEO
Jack Dorsey,
44
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:54,114
who gave Musk
his stamp of approval, saying...
45
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:01,455
And I'll be honest, people,
46
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,123
I have no idea what that means.
47
00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:07,060
Yeah. But Jack's clearly on
that billionaire-speak. Yeah.
48
00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:09,263
No, I feel like, after
you reach a certain net worth,
49
00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:12,499
you just start talking
like a stoned Jedi, you know?
50
00:02:12,599 --> 00:02:14,168
Just like,
"What do I want for lunch?
51
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:16,203
"My hunger cannot be satiated,
52
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,872
for I crave justice."
53
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,209
"So, turkey sandwich?
Yeah? Turkey sandwich?"
54
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,411
But all jokes aside,
Jack Dorsey is a great guy,
55
00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:27,114
and I wish him a safe journey
back to his home planet.
56
00:02:27,214 --> 00:02:29,383
Um, but not everyone is
as chill.
57
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:32,085
Yeah. A lot of Twitter users
flat-out said
58
00:02:32,186 --> 00:02:33,720
that they're gonna leave
the site.
59
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,523
That's how much they hate
the idea of Elon Musk owning it,
60
00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:38,125
to which Elon replied,
61
00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:41,461
"I hope that even my worst
critics remain on Twitter
62
00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:43,564
because that is
what free speech means."
63
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:44,698
Yeah. It was really beautiful.
64
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:45,999
And I hope--
I hope that he means that.
65
00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:47,167
I really do.
66
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:48,869
I mean, but don't forget--
this is a guy
67
00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:52,506
who once personally canceled
a blogger's Tesla order
68
00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:55,108
because of something
they wrote about him.
69
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,777
So I'm just saying.
70
00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:58,145
Yeah. You know?
71
00:02:58,245 --> 00:02:59,746
He has nice intentions,
but when you have the power
72
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,748
to be petty on an epic scale,
the temptation to do it
73
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,250
can be really hard to resist.
74
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,152
Yeah, I-I don't even blame him.
I think it will happen to--
75
00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:07,788
Like, if I bought Google,
if I bought Google,
76
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,190
you best believe I would abuse
those autofills.
77
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:12,893
Yeah. Especiary--
Especially around, like,
78
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:13,961
Emmy voting season.
79
00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:15,062
You would be like,
"John Oliver."
80
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:17,431
Be like,
"Children's wig collector."
81
00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:19,900
"Stephen Colbert."
82
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:21,869
"Hit-and-run"?
83
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:22,870
"Trevor Noah."
84
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:25,172
"Saves puppies." 'Ey!
85
00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:27,541
(stammers)
How did that happen?
86
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:29,576
-(cheering)
-Me?
87
00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:32,412
No. Oh, guys, no. Oh.
88
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,682
I just... Yeah.
89
00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,851
I just had to, 'cause
Stephen Colbert hit the owner
90
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:39,086
and then I had to...
91
00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:41,755
You know?
Just one of those things.
92
00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:43,690
But, of course,
the person everyone
93
00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,459
was waiting to hear from
94
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,494
was the former king of Twitter,
95
00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:48,929
who would still be the king
96
00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:51,331
if the throne
hadn't been stolen from him.
97
00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:54,601
I'm talking about
Donald Jet Ski Trump.
98
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:56,503
You see, after getting
kicked off of Twitter,
99
00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:59,773
Trump started his own service
called Truth Social.
100
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:01,575
But now that Elon owns Twitter,
101
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,610
everyone wants to know
if Trump will come back.
102
00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:06,780
And, yesterday,
the Tangerine Dream responded.
103
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,049
Someone not on Twitter?
Donald Trump.
104
00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:11,118
A little over a year ago,
the former president
105
00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:12,486
was banned from the site.
106
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,121
But even with new ownership,
107
00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:16,523
Trump told Fox News
he will not rejoin
108
00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:19,560
and instead stick with
his own social media platform.
109
00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:33,540
President Trump this weekend,
Saturday night at his rally,
110
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,877
touting his social media
platform, Truth Social,
111
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:39,847
and its plans to take on
big tech censorship.
112
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,082
Because of this digital tyranny,
113
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,685
we had to give the American
people their voice back
114
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:49,289
by building something called
Troth-- Truth Sential.
115
00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:52,092
-(cheering)
-Truth Social.
116
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:54,194
(laughing)
117
00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:57,431
Oh, man! Oh, man!
118
00:04:57,531 --> 00:05:00,434
Did this guy just call
Truth Social "Troth Sential"?
119
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:01,502
What was that?
120
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:03,904
My man, you had one job,
one job.
121
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:08,041
It's your social media platform,
and you messed up the name?
122
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,043
It's almost like
every time Trump speaks,
123
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,879
his own mouth stages
an insurrection.
124
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:13,780
That's what happens
inside there.
125
00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:17,684
But, yeah, Trump insists that
he is not going back to Twitter.
126
00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:19,887
He is going to stick
with Troop Sokell,
127
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:22,189
which, um, so far,
has been a total bust.
128
00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:25,359
Apparently, the app only has
500,000 daily users.
129
00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:27,261
And to put it in perspective,
Twitter,
130
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:28,896
the thing that it's supposed
to be replacing,
131
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:32,633
has 217 million daily users.
Yeah.
132
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:36,703
So Truth Social is competition
for Twitter the same way
133
00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:39,206
that guy on the plane
was competition for Mike Tyson.
134
00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:41,608
(laughter)
135
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:43,377
Also, it doesn't bode well
136
00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:45,512
that Trump himself
has only posted
137
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:49,416
on Truth Social one time, ever.
138
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,752
Yeah, and that was
two months ago.
139
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,887
Think about how crazy that is.
140
00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,889
People, when he was on Twitter,
Trump would send out,
141
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:58,091
like, what, 50 tweets every
time he went to the bathroom,
142
00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,194
but now, he hasn't posted
in two months?
143
00:06:00,294 --> 00:06:01,562
I'm just saying, man,
144
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:03,564
someone needs to get this guy
some prune juice stat.
145
00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:05,699
He's in trouble.
Now, apparently...
146
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:07,467
This has been the interesting
part of the story.
147
00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:10,470
Apparently, a lot of Republicans
are secretly thrilled
148
00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:12,673
if Trump would never come back
to Twitter.
149
00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:14,675
Yeah, because they don't like
the drama that he would create.
150
00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:16,677
And it makes sense.
Do you remember?
151
00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:18,712
Do you remember what it was like
when he was on Twitter?
152
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:20,147
Right? He would say something.
153
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:21,582
He'd tweet something random
like,
154
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:24,751
"Congress should make it illegal
to speak Spanish."
155
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:26,854
And then, all day,
reporters would be
156
00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:28,288
tracking down Republican
senators in the hallway.
157
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,090
Remember, they'd chase them.
Like, "Do you agree
158
00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:31,625
"with the president
that it should be illegal
159
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,560
to speak Spanish?" And then, the
senators would have to come up
160
00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:35,495
with new ways to answer
without answering, you know?
161
00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:37,497
You know, 'cause there were
those weird press conferences.
162
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,066
Remember, they had
to evade the questions
163
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,901
without angering Trump. It was
always them in the hallways
164
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,302
just being, like, inundated.
Like, the people'd be like...
165
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,973
Uh, um, did I see what-what
the president tweeted?
166
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,842
Well, I have seen Twitter
as a company,
167
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,577
and I have seen
the president, as well.
168
00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:53,080
Uh, and I would love to comment
on this particular tweet,
169
00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:55,082
but I'm about
to eat this shrimp,
170
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:57,384
which will give me a severe,
allergic reaction.
171
00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:58,986
Mmm. Mmm.
172
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,320
Sorry, I can't talk.
173
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,722
I'm dying. I'm dying.
174
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,056
Throat closing up.
Thank you very much.
175
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:04,391
No more comments.
176
00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:06,627
I'll be honest, though.
177
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:09,029
The only reason I would
want Trump back on Twitter,
178
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:11,298
the only reason is because
I know, yes,
179
00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:12,699
it would probably lead
to another term,
180
00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:15,469
and it would destroy
the country, but I just...
181
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:18,038
I just really want
to see his Wordle scores.
182
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:20,040
(laughter)
183
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:22,042
Just...
184
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,278
(applause and cheering)
185
00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:26,847
Just to see him...
186
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,815
see him every day being like,
187
00:07:28,916 --> 00:07:31,118
"How could 'tronshachal'
not be a word?
188
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:33,120
I use it all the time."
189
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:36,790
All right, moving on,
let's talk about youth sports.
190
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,693
It's how we teach young children
to feel inferior
191
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,228
from as young an age
as possible.
192
00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:44,398
There are a few components
to youth sports, all right?
193
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:46,934
You need the coaches,
you need the equipment.
194
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,936
You need a McDonald's nearby
for afterwards
195
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:50,704
so you can immediately undo
all of the exercise,
196
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:53,273
and you need the jerseys
to be sponsored
197
00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:56,443
by a local business,
like Joey's Dildo Emporium.
198
00:07:56,543 --> 00:07:58,879
And one other thing you need--
199
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,615
maybe the most important part--
is a referee,
200
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:04,518
which is starting
to become a problem.
201
00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:06,820
Next, the bad behavior
leading to a shortage
202
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,690
-of umpires and referees.
-It's kind of sad here.
203
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,391
Youth sports leagues
are having a hard time
204
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,227
finding people
to officiate games.
205
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:15,295
They say one reason,
yeah, it's the disrespect,
206
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:17,898
not from kids,
but from parents and coaches.
207
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,433
NEWSWOMAN 2:
There's been a dramatic drop
208
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:23,604
in refs across youth sports
in all age groups nationwide.
209
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:25,472
-(whistle blows)
-Based on early data,
210
00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:27,941
-an estimated 30,000...
-Nope.
211
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:31,211
...high school referees
have quit since 2018.
212
00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:33,680
One of the reasons was abuse,
213
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:36,517
abuse and mistreatment
by parents and players.
214
00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:38,051
NEWSWOMOMAN 2:
Mistreatment like this--
215
00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:40,554
a Massachusetts referee
punched on the ice
216
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:42,089
by a youth hockey coach,
217
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,858
and this unsuspecting
referee plowed down
218
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:47,194
on a California soccer field.
219
00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:49,596
Goddamn. Flag on the play.
Flag on the play.
220
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,632
You see how wild
those parents are?
221
00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:54,101
What are they selling
at the concession stand? Meth?
222
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:57,404
-(laughter) -What are you doing?
When I see...
223
00:08:57,504 --> 00:09:00,207
I don't blame the referees one
bit for wanting no part of this.
224
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:01,408
Of course they're going to quit.
225
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:03,911
It's completely unacceptable
for parents
226
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:06,146
to do that
during their kids' game.
227
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:09,049
Think about it. What lesson
are you teaching your children?
228
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:11,618
Huh? That if a ref
makes a bad call,
229
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:14,021
it's okay for a parent
to storm the field? No.
230
00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:17,424
Kids need to learn to kick
the ref's ass themselves.
231
00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:19,760
-(laughter) -Yeah,
you teach them self-reliance.
232
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:22,462
Come on, guys.
233
00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:24,498
And you know, to me, this feels
like a wider trend in society.
234
00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:25,933
Like, I don't know
if you have noticed this.
235
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,835
People just feel like they're
getting angrier recently.
236
00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:30,137
You know, passengers
fighting flight attendants.
237
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:31,905
Road rage is
at an all-time high.
238
00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:33,407
Like, instead of a COVID tests,
239
00:09:33,507 --> 00:09:35,375
I feel the government should
be sending everyone edibles.
240
00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:38,512
You know? Yeah. That way,
when parents run on the field,
241
00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:40,948
they'd be like,
"Hey, ref, have you noticed
242
00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:42,583
"that it's called a touchdown,
243
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:44,785
but you don't have to, like,
touch it down, man?"
244
00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:48,055
-(laughter, applause)
-"Dude, it's, like, what?
245
00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:50,224
Bro."
246
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:54,061
All right,
let's move on to a story
247
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,896
about the housing market.
248
00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:57,631
Ever since the pandemic started,
249
00:09:57,731 --> 00:10:00,400
housing prices have been going
through the roof.
250
00:10:00,501 --> 00:10:01,935
And even with the hole in the
roof, people are still like,
251
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,403
"It's fine.
We'll take it. We'll take it."
252
00:10:03,504 --> 00:10:04,705
But if you really want to know
253
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,707
how high the demand
for houses is right now,
254
00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:09,042
look no further
than this listing.
255
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:13,614
A house in Fairfax, Virginia,
just sold for more than $800,000
256
00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:16,817
and that comes with a stranger
living in the basement.
257
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:19,319
The listing agent told The
New York Post someone who had
258
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:22,189
offered to clean the home years
ago now lives in the basement
259
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,892
without paying rent,
and the seller is an elderly man
260
00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:26,994
in the hospital. His family
can't afford to go through
261
00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:29,530
the eviction process.
The agent says they received
262
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:33,300
five cash offers
in less than one week.
263
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:37,037
-(audience groaning, laughing)
-What?
264
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:40,974
Did they say a stranger
in the basement? (laughing)
265
00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:43,243
So people are so
desperate to get a house,
266
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:45,312
they're even willing to be
in the reboot of Parasite.
267
00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:47,481
This is what we're doing now.
268
00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:49,416
No, for real.
No, for real. I mean...
269
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:53,887
I'm pretty certain...
I'm pretty certain this
270
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,323
is the first time that Zillow
has a Zestimate for,
271
00:10:56,423 --> 00:11:00,761
"How long until
the squatter murders you?"
272
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:03,797
I will say this, though.
Props to the squatter. Yeah?
273
00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:07,534
No, because this is
someone who knows commitment.
274
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:10,971
They refuse to leave, to the
point that the real estate agent
275
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:15,709
had to include them in the tour.
You understand how wild that is?
276
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:18,145
You've got a realtor just
walking through the house like,
277
00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:21,949
"As you can see, uh, we've got
three baths, uh, two baths,
278
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:25,619
Yeah, one creep and a washer
dryer, very nice, very--"
279
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:27,421
"I'm sorry, could you go back?"
"Oh, the two beds?
280
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:30,991
I know, right? Yeah." Although,
Knowing real estate agents,
281
00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:32,693
I bet when they listed
the house, they didn't say
282
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,127
the house had a squatter. They
probably made it sound like a,
283
00:11:34,228 --> 00:11:35,796
like a feature. Just being like,
"And in the basement, um,
284
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:41,168
"you'll find an unsolicited
in-home companion.
285
00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:44,972
Very in right now.
Everyone wants one, everyone."
286
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,406
Uh, but, yeah, that's how crazy
287
00:11:46,507 --> 00:11:48,375
this housing market is
right now. And think about it:
288
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:50,344
That's what's happening in
Virginia, by the way.
289
00:11:50,444 --> 00:11:52,112
Virginia.
290
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,348
Yeah.
New York is on another level.
291
00:11:54,448 --> 00:11:56,950
You want to see real crazy?
Come to New York.
292
00:11:57,117 --> 00:12:00,120
Yeah, here you pay $5,000
a month and you still have to
293
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,923
share a futon
with the clown from It.
294
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:08,161
(audience laughter)
295
00:12:08,262 --> 00:12:12,633
Hey, um, do you think maybe you
could, uh, close your eyes?
296
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,801
You know what, just-- Just, it's
a little bit-- you know what?
297
00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:18,238
Never mind. It's fine.
They say you should wash
298
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:21,208
your makeup before you sleep,
you know. It's...
299
00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:23,343
Anyway, good night.
300
00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:30,350
And finally...
301
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:35,155
Finally-- That movie's going
straight to DVD. Very popular.
302
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,991
Very popular. Finally, if you've
ever tried to get work done
303
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:41,361
in a coffee shop, you know
it's not easy to stay focused.
304
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:43,330
You know? There's always
people coming in and out.
305
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,265
You've got to ignore the
distracting conversations people
306
00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:47,501
are having, and you've got
to pretend that you didn't
307
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,102
burn the shit out of your mouth
like a loser who has
308
00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:51,772
never drank coffee before.
But now, in Japan,
309
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:56,710
there's a new kind of café that
will help you stay on track.
310
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:59,179
Well, writers under
deadlines go to Tokyo's
311
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,949
"Manuscript Writing Café"
with an understanding:
312
00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:04,551
(chuckling) they can't leave
until their work is done.
313
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:07,154
Okay, and there is some prodding
thrown in to make sure that
314
00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:09,122
they buckle down and finish.
315
00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:11,692
Customers, when they walk in,
write down their names,
316
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:14,795
writing goals, and the amount
of time they need to finish.
317
00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:17,798
Then, the café staff
holds them accountable with
318
00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:21,235
three levels of progress checks:
mild, normal and hard.
319
00:13:21,335 --> 00:13:24,304
Customers who choose "mild" only
get a verbal confirmation
320
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:27,541
when they pay. Those who choose
"normal" get a progress check
321
00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:30,444
every hour, and for
those that decide to
322
00:13:30,544 --> 00:13:32,546
go hard on themselves,
they will feel silent pressure
323
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:36,717
from staff who will
stand frequently behind them.
324
00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:41,088
Did he say "silent pressure"?
325
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,091
What is that? That has to
be the most Japanese thing
326
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:47,694
I've ever heard. Coffee shops
where they shame you into
327
00:13:47,794 --> 00:13:50,097
efficient-- yo, coffee shops
are not about being efficient.
328
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,132
All right? They're about
spending an hour trying to
329
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:54,735
figure out the difference
between a scone and a biscuit.
330
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:56,503
That's what it is.
The difference is you can charge
331
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:59,773
twice for a scone. Yeah.
But this attitude is why
332
00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:01,808
people in Japan are
so stressed out, man.
333
00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:04,811
Constant pressure to be perfect.
334
00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:08,715
They don't need efficiency
coffee shops in Japan.
335
00:14:08,815 --> 00:14:11,618
They need Black barber shops.
That's what they need.
336
00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:13,053
Yeah, people in Japan
are stressed.
337
00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:14,354
If they had Black barber shops,
you wouldn't have that.
338
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:15,923
You need a space
where you can chill,
339
00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:18,759
spend time arguing about topics
that don't matter, you know?
340
00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:20,727
Guys cutting your hair like,
"Are you kidding me, Shinzo?
341
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:23,297
"Man, if Mothra was around,
Godzilla wouldn't be shit!
342
00:14:23,397 --> 00:14:25,399
"Godzilla wouldn't be shit!
Don't play around with Mothra,
343
00:14:25,499 --> 00:14:27,568
"baby! (chuckles) Oh, shit,
I got your line all wrong there.
344
00:14:27,668 --> 00:14:29,503
"My bad, man. You'll be a'ight.
You'll be a'ight.
345
00:14:29,603 --> 00:14:32,072
Just wear a hat."
346
00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:33,607
Like, I'm not sure
the Japanese approach
347
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:36,176
of judging someone silently
will work,
348
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:38,412
especially not in America.
You know?
349
00:14:38,512 --> 00:14:39,980
You know, here,
they-they should make it
350
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,582
that if you don't finish
your screenplay,
351
00:14:41,682 --> 00:14:43,116
one of those hockey parents
shows up
352
00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:45,853
and beats the shit out of you.
Just... (imitates blows landing)
353
00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:47,688
Here's the only issue
with the story, though.
354
00:14:47,788 --> 00:14:49,089
This-this Japanese coffee shop
355
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:51,458
say they will help anyone
become more efficient,
356
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:54,962
but they don't want to know
what you're working on?
357
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,364
I feel like that
could backfire badly.
358
00:14:57,464 --> 00:14:59,733
You know? Just like,
"Have you finished your work?"
359
00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:01,668
It's like, "Yes, my manifesto
360
00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:04,271
has been completed
in record time."
361
00:15:04,371 --> 00:15:06,907
Like, "What, now?"
"Yeah, let's do it."
362
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,308
(laughter)
363
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:09,710
All right,
that's it for the headlines.
364
00:15:09,810 --> 00:15:12,112
But before we go,
let's check in on traffic
365
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,882
with our very own Roy Wood Jr.,
everybody!
366
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:16,383
-(cheering and applause)
-What's going on, man?
367
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:18,185
What's happening, man? What's
going on? What's going on?
368
00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:20,554
You know, you know. It's good.
369
00:15:20,654 --> 00:15:23,423
-Good to see you. That's right.
-You know.
370
00:15:23,524 --> 00:15:25,392
Progress is a process,
371
00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:27,060
but I'm out here like a pigeon
at the bakery
372
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,062
trying to get my bread out, man.
I'm good.
373
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:31,064
Wow. I-I don't know what
that means, but thank you, Roy.
374
00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:33,467
Yeah. Now, real quick,
before-before all of that,
375
00:15:33,567 --> 00:15:35,903
like, the thing
with-with the coaching
376
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:38,872
and the parents and attacking
the referees and all of that,
377
00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:42,376
the issue
is that if you want your kid...
378
00:15:42,476 --> 00:15:45,379
Like, the problem is the parents
being there at the game.
379
00:15:45,479 --> 00:15:46,914
You want your kid to be good.
380
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:48,649
That's why you're behaving
that way.
381
00:15:48,749 --> 00:15:50,751
But we all know that the secret
382
00:15:50,851 --> 00:15:52,553
to your child being good
at sports
383
00:15:52,653 --> 00:15:55,122
is to not be in their life.
384
00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:58,559
Just don't be present.
385
00:15:58,659 --> 00:16:00,661
Well, no, Roy, you...
That's neglect.
386
00:16:00,761 --> 00:16:02,396
No. No, that is...
387
00:16:02,496 --> 00:16:04,531
That is called preparation.
388
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:07,434
It's called preparation
to make your child better.
389
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:09,436
Trevor, I don't want
to get into the statistics,
390
00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:11,271
but the fewer parents
you have in your life,
391
00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:13,440
the better you are
at that sport.
392
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:14,942
Everybody knows that.
393
00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:17,244
-What?
-Bro, I was great at baseball.
394
00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:18,545
I was great at baseball.
395
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,647
Second grade, my mama came home,
and she told me
396
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:22,816
that her and my daddy
was getting back together.
397
00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:25,152
And I was like, "Well,
that's it, then. That's it.
398
00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:26,520
"I'm not gonna be good
at baseball
399
00:16:26,620 --> 00:16:28,755
if y'all gonna both be
in my life." That's...
400
00:16:28,856 --> 00:16:30,257
(laughter)
401
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:32,559
-That...
-You have to remove one of them.
402
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,761
Neglect is the real MVP, dawg.
403
00:16:34,862 --> 00:16:36,763
I'm telling you. Trust me.
404
00:16:36,864 --> 00:16:38,131
-This is one...
-Like my... Like my child.
405
00:16:38,232 --> 00:16:39,833
My child. I love my child.
406
00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:41,168
We both in his life.
407
00:16:41,268 --> 00:16:43,537
He ain't gonna be good
at baseball.
408
00:16:43,637 --> 00:16:46,773
He plays chess, the piano.
He can speak another language.
409
00:16:46,874 --> 00:16:50,077
He is doomed. You can't get
a jump shot doing all that.
410
00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:51,778
You can't do that, man.
411
00:16:51,879 --> 00:16:54,648
And then also with this, uh,
with the whole Japanese thing
412
00:16:54,748 --> 00:16:57,284
-with the... with the café?
-Oh, yeah, the coffee shop.
413
00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:58,652
You can't...
414
00:16:58,752 --> 00:17:00,254
Like, if you want people
to be efficient,
415
00:17:00,354 --> 00:17:02,222
you can't make them comfortable.
416
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:04,391
That's part of the problem.
You ever been in a café?
417
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:07,728
It's free Wi-Fi.
It's music, jazz music playing.
418
00:17:07,828 --> 00:17:09,363
They got the nice seats
with the cushions.
419
00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:10,898
You don't want
to get nothing done.
420
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:13,267
You ever ate dine-in
at a fast-food spot?
421
00:17:13,367 --> 00:17:15,802
-Like, what do you mean, like,
a fast-food spot? -Yeah.
422
00:17:15,903 --> 00:17:17,304
Like-like Popeyes
or somewhere or...
423
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:20,040
You ever just sit down
in the dine-in at a fast-food...
424
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,643
You ever seen somebody getting
work done at a fast-food spot?
425
00:17:22,743 --> 00:17:24,878
Wait, wait, wait. Wait,
you can sit down at a Popeyes?
426
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,413
Yeah. I wouldn't recommend it.
427
00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:28,448
You can.
428
00:17:28,549 --> 00:17:29,883
You should probably
get it to go.
429
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:32,519
But like most of these places,
a fast-food spot
430
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:34,721
is built to keep you
from procrastinating.
431
00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:36,156
The chair is bolted
to the floor.
432
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:37,524
Ain't no cushion.
433
00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:39,193
You can't even recline
in that thing.
434
00:17:39,293 --> 00:17:41,395
So you ready
to get up out the door.
435
00:17:41,495 --> 00:17:43,063
The fewer seats...
Like, you can get...
436
00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:45,065
you can get coffee
at a gas station, right?
437
00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:47,067
-Yeah, you can. -Is there
a chair at the gas station?
438
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:49,069
-No. -No, there's not,
'cause they want you
439
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:51,138
to get your ass back out there
and get to work.
440
00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:53,874
Why... If you have a chair,
you procrastinate.
441
00:17:53,974 --> 00:17:55,309
Why you think that-that...
Why you think
442
00:17:55,409 --> 00:17:56,777
they got that squatter
in Virginia?
443
00:17:56,877 --> 00:17:59,279
'Cause they got chairs
in that house.
444
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:01,315
If he had no chairs
at that house...
445
00:18:01,415 --> 00:18:02,716
(cheering and applause)
446
00:18:02,816 --> 00:18:04,251
I didn't think of that.
447
00:18:04,351 --> 00:18:07,054
A squatter ain't nothing but
a professional procrastinator.
448
00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:09,623
And you got a chair. Why
you think that happened, man?
449
00:18:09,723 --> 00:18:11,225
So, if they didn't have a chair
in the house,
450
00:18:11,325 --> 00:18:12,526
you don't think
that person would be there?
451
00:18:12,626 --> 00:18:14,428
Absolutely not.
452
00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:16,029
-Huh.
-I'm an expert, man.
453
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:17,364
Let's get to these roads.
454
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:19,199
-Let me ask you a question
about this. -Yeah.
455
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:21,335
Why do I always have to do
the traffic?
456
00:18:21,435 --> 00:18:22,936
(laughter and applause)
457
00:18:23,036 --> 00:18:24,571
-What-what do you mean?
-Why?
458
00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:27,608
'Cause it's always bad.
It's always this shit.
459
00:18:27,708 --> 00:18:29,076
And then people
associate that...
460
00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:31,178
And then you put my name to it.
"Roy with the traffic.
461
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,146
Roy with the traffic."
Then they associate me
462
00:18:33,247 --> 00:18:34,882
with that
when what it should be is
463
00:18:35,048 --> 00:18:37,050
"Roy with the traffic
brought to you by Trevor Noah."
464
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:38,886
-You...
-No, no, no, no, no.
465
00:18:39,052 --> 00:18:40,420
It's not a...
But it's not a bad thing.
466
00:18:40,521 --> 00:18:42,289
It's not a bad thing.
Like, no one's hating you
467
00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:43,924
-because of the traffic.
-You don't see the tweets
468
00:18:44,057 --> 00:18:46,326
that I get on a regular basis
about this traffic.
469
00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:48,595
I don't appreciate that.
Also, speaking of which,
470
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:50,063
why don't I have a chair?
471
00:18:50,097 --> 00:18:52,065
(laughter)
472
00:18:52,099 --> 00:18:53,634
(cheering and applause)
473
00:18:53,734 --> 00:18:55,102
Well...
474
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:57,671
Why can't...
475
00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:02,643
Well, because I want to inspire
you to keep things moving.
476
00:19:02,743 --> 00:19:04,144
(laughter)
477
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:05,913
Oh, well,
let me help you out, then.
478
00:19:06,013 --> 00:19:08,649
-Oh.
-(cheering and applause)
479
00:19:08,749 --> 00:19:10,317
Oh, wow.
480
00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:12,419
All right, thank-thank you
so much for that, Roy Wood Jr.
481
00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:14,154
All right, when we come back,
we'll introduce you
482
00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:17,591
to a new streaming platform
that should not exist.
483
00:19:17,691 --> 00:19:18,759
You don't want to miss it.
484
00:19:18,859 --> 00:19:20,661
What are you...
What are you doing?
485
00:19:20,761 --> 00:19:22,663
(cheering and applause)
486
00:19:22,763 --> 00:19:24,131
What...
487
00:19:32,271 --> 00:19:34,306
(cheering and applause)
488
00:19:41,413 --> 00:19:43,148
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
489
00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:44,783
You know,
I don't know if you've noticed,
490
00:19:44,883 --> 00:19:48,320
but, these days, everyone
has a streaming service.
491
00:19:48,420 --> 00:19:50,455
Disney has Disney+.
492
00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:52,357
Discovery has Discovery+.
493
00:19:52,457 --> 00:19:56,995
Even HGTV has HGTV+.
494
00:19:57,095 --> 00:19:58,831
Yeah, they have
this really great show
495
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,666
about the hideous
third Property Brother
496
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:02,401
that they keep hidden
in the attic.
497
00:20:02,501 --> 00:20:03,802
Really fascinating.
498
00:20:03,902 --> 00:20:06,738
So, you know, we
at The Daily Show decided, hey,
499
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:08,540
we can burn through money, too.
500
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,108
Why don't we make
our own streaming service
501
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,610
that nobody asked for?
502
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,145
And, so, people,
503
00:20:13,245 --> 00:20:15,147
brace yourselves for the launch
504
00:20:15,247 --> 00:20:18,584
of the most important
streaming service this month,
505
00:20:18,684 --> 00:20:22,988
The Daily Show+++.
506
00:20:23,088 --> 00:20:26,492
-♪ ♪
-ANNOUNCER: Say hello to TDS+++.
507
00:20:26,592 --> 00:20:29,228
All your favorite
Daily Show personalities,
508
00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:31,463
stretched incredibly thin.
509
00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:33,165
For just $6.99 a month
510
00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:35,100
or, honestly, whatever you got,
511
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:39,638
you get 36 extra hours a day
of hastily conceived content.
512
00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:41,240
Enjoy shows like
513
00:20:41,373 --> 00:20:44,977
Roy Wood Jr. Reads
The Economist While Snacking.
514
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,813
Today I'm eating Funyuns, and...
515
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:50,449
something's going on in Morocco.
516
00:20:50,549 --> 00:20:52,951
ANNOUNCER: The Morning Commute
with Michael Kosta...
517
00:20:53,051 --> 00:20:54,486
Aah!
518
00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:56,522
ANNOUNCER: ...shot live from
Michael Kosta's bike helmet.
519
00:20:56,622 --> 00:21:00,859
Aah! Okay, so today on the show,
we're probably going to talk
520
00:21:00,959 --> 00:21:03,929
about the situation
in Ukraine, or...
521
00:21:04,029 --> 00:21:05,731
Goddamn, it's steep!
522
00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:08,300
God! Aah!
523
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,836
Aah! Taxi!
524
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:13,705
ANNOUNCER: The Stock Watch
with Ronny Chieng.
525
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:17,075
Okay, the Dow's at minus 22.4.
526
00:21:17,176 --> 00:21:20,312
Oh, now it's at minus 21.3.
527
00:21:20,412 --> 00:21:24,183
Now it's at minus 22.4 again.
528
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,418
ANNOUNCER: Desi Lydic
Live from the Hill.
529
00:21:26,518 --> 00:21:28,420
Some stuff happened
in Congress today,
530
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:32,357
but I don't know what it is,
because that's a different hill.
531
00:21:32,424 --> 00:21:35,260
ANNOUNCER:
And Dulcé Sloan reviews CNN+.
532
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:38,463
Damn, this is boring! Ugh!
533
00:21:38,564 --> 00:21:41,633
Wait. Is that Chris Wallace?
534
00:21:41,733 --> 00:21:43,769
Oh, this just got sexy.
535
00:21:43,869 --> 00:21:46,171
Hey, can you keep it down?
536
00:21:46,271 --> 00:21:48,373
I'm shooting my new
streaming show over here.
537
00:21:49,374 --> 00:21:51,176
ANNOUNCER:
And so much more premium content
538
00:21:51,276 --> 00:21:53,545
we just came up with,
like, ten minutes ago,
539
00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:56,849
including
Jordan Klepper Makes Coffee,
540
00:21:56,949 --> 00:21:59,184
Lewis Black:
Singing in the Shower
541
00:21:59,284 --> 00:22:01,153
and the companion series,
542
00:22:01,253 --> 00:22:04,223
The Making of Lewis Black:
Singing in the Shower,
543
00:22:04,389 --> 00:22:06,391
Power Napping with Trevor,
544
00:22:06,458 --> 00:22:07,759
and The Rewind,
545
00:22:07,860 --> 00:22:10,262
where we just play
The Daily Show backwards.
546
00:22:10,395 --> 00:22:12,397
-♪ ♪
-(cheering and applause)
547
00:22:14,399 --> 00:22:16,468
TDS+++.
548
00:22:16,568 --> 00:22:18,203
Surely someone will pay
for this.
549
00:22:18,303 --> 00:22:19,938
There's Chris Wallace,
my baby daddy.
550
00:22:20,038 --> 00:22:21,974
He don't know it yet.
551
00:22:22,074 --> 00:22:24,910
Oh, man. I...
552
00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:26,879
Oh, I-I've just been informed
553
00:22:26,979 --> 00:22:28,180
that in the time
you were watching
554
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:29,448
that promotional video,
555
00:22:29,548 --> 00:22:32,351
TDS+++ has been shut down.
556
00:22:32,384 --> 00:22:33,986
Yeah, we're gonna take
a quick break
557
00:22:34,086 --> 00:22:35,721
to figure out what went wrong,
but when we come back,
558
00:22:35,821 --> 00:22:37,689
international superstar
Burna Boy
559
00:22:37,789 --> 00:22:40,392
is joining me on the show.
You don't want to miss it.
560
00:22:40,492 --> 00:22:42,361
Kaboom, shapow!
561
00:22:42,394 --> 00:22:44,429
(cheering and applause)
562
00:22:51,336 --> 00:22:53,371
(cheering and applause)
563
00:22:56,307 --> 00:22:57,408
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
564
00:22:57,508 --> 00:22:59,677
My guest tonight
is Grammy Award-winning
565
00:22:59,777 --> 00:23:01,346
global superstar Burna Boy.
566
00:23:01,446 --> 00:23:04,616
He's here to talk about becoming
the first Nigerian artist
567
00:23:04,716 --> 00:23:07,318
to play and sell out
Madison Square Garden.
568
00:23:07,418 --> 00:23:09,287
Please welcome Burna Boy!
569
00:23:09,387 --> 00:23:11,422
-(cheering and applause)
-♪ ♪
570
00:23:18,062 --> 00:23:19,864
How you doing, my friend?
Good to see you, man.
571
00:23:22,433 --> 00:23:24,536
(cheering continues)
572
00:23:24,636 --> 00:23:26,004
(grunts)
573
00:23:27,438 --> 00:23:29,207
The man, the myth, the legend.
574
00:23:29,307 --> 00:23:30,808
Uh, I don't know about all that.
575
00:23:30,909 --> 00:23:32,310
-(laughs)
-(chuckles)
576
00:23:32,410 --> 00:23:33,811
How you doing, my friend?
It's been a long time, man.
577
00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:35,880
-Yeah. -Yeah, you've
been conquering the world.
578
00:23:35,980 --> 00:23:37,582
The last time we spoke,
579
00:23:37,682 --> 00:23:40,351
we were just talking about how
amazing your album was going.
580
00:23:40,451 --> 00:23:41,853
African Giant.
It was killing it.
581
00:23:41,953 --> 00:23:44,022
People were loving it. It was
blowing up all over the globe.
582
00:23:44,122 --> 00:23:46,324
I was talking about the Grammys,
your future aspirations.
583
00:23:46,424 --> 00:23:48,493
Then the pandemic hit.
584
00:23:48,593 --> 00:23:51,563
-Mm. -You produced an album
in that pandemic,
585
00:23:51,663 --> 00:23:53,231
-and you went on to win
your first Grammy. -Mm.
586
00:23:53,331 --> 00:23:55,800
-Congratulations, brother.
-(cheering and applause)
587
00:23:55,900 --> 00:23:58,136
Congratulations.
588
00:23:58,236 --> 00:23:59,537
Let's, um...
589
00:23:59,637 --> 00:24:01,005
So let's-let's start with that.
590
00:24:01,105 --> 00:24:02,207
I was shocked to find out
591
00:24:02,307 --> 00:24:04,475
that you produced the album,
like, on Zoom.
592
00:24:04,576 --> 00:24:06,444
I mean, you've got some of
the biggest features on there.
593
00:24:06,477 --> 00:24:08,346
You know, got everybody
from Chris Martin and--
594
00:24:08,446 --> 00:24:09,647
You-you did this on Zoom?
595
00:24:09,747 --> 00:24:11,950
Yeah. Technology.
596
00:24:12,050 --> 00:24:14,452
-(chuckling) -But h-how do you
know it's going well on Zoom?
597
00:24:14,552 --> 00:24:15,920
-Like, I don't even know
if someone's... -You don't.
598
00:24:16,020 --> 00:24:18,556
-Oh, okay. (laughing)
-(chuckling)
599
00:24:18,656 --> 00:24:21,092
-You hope for the best.
(chuckles) -(chuckles)
600
00:24:21,192 --> 00:24:23,494
Was there ever a moment where
you were recording something
601
00:24:23,595 --> 00:24:24,495
on Zoom,
602
00:24:24,596 --> 00:24:26,064
it sounded great,
then you got it,
603
00:24:26,164 --> 00:24:27,865
then you were like,
"No, it doesn't sound..."
604
00:24:27,966 --> 00:24:30,134
It's not like you record
the song on Zoom.
605
00:24:30,235 --> 00:24:32,003
It's not like Zoom has
a recording studio.
606
00:24:32,103 --> 00:24:33,705
(laughing)
607
00:24:33,805 --> 00:24:35,473
Burna, I don't know, man.
I don't know how Zoom works.
608
00:24:35,573 --> 00:24:38,509
No, it's like-- So, basically,
you just have the laptop on
609
00:24:38,610 --> 00:24:41,512
-in the studio, with all
the parties involved... -Yeah.
610
00:24:41,613 --> 00:24:44,382
...and while-while we're making
the music and stuff.
611
00:24:44,482 --> 00:24:45,950
And then, you know,
everyone's like,
612
00:24:46,050 --> 00:24:48,620
"Okay, yeah, um, this is
the song we have to choose.
613
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:50,088
-We're gonna choose this."
-Right.
614
00:24:50,188 --> 00:24:51,856
You know? And then, yeah,
615
00:24:51,956 --> 00:24:54,893
-it just worked out. (chuckling)
-(laughter, clapping)
616
00:24:54,993 --> 00:24:56,427
I want to ask you
about the artists though.
617
00:24:56,494 --> 00:24:59,430
You know, one thing
I've truly loved is how,
618
00:24:59,497 --> 00:25:02,333
like, Nigerian artists
have taken Africa to the world.
619
00:25:02,433 --> 00:25:03,701
Man, you've blown up
the continent.
620
00:25:03,801 --> 00:25:05,637
Everyone is now trying
to emulate
621
00:25:05,737 --> 00:25:07,305
what Nigerian artists
are creating.
622
00:25:07,438 --> 00:25:09,574
-But-but, surely, there are...
-Except our government.
623
00:25:09,674 --> 00:25:12,610
-Except...
-(applause)
624
00:25:12,710 --> 00:25:14,445
-(whooping)
-(chuckling)
625
00:25:16,781 --> 00:25:19,350
Are there artists
that you dreamed of working of
626
00:25:19,450 --> 00:25:21,119
that you were shocked
to be working with
627
00:25:21,219 --> 00:25:22,620
when you were working with them?
628
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:25,924
-Everyone, everyone on my last
album was kind of... -Yeah?
629
00:25:26,024 --> 00:25:27,992
And the previous. Like working
with Angélique Kidjo
630
00:25:28,092 --> 00:25:31,195
on the previous one and then
working with Youssou N'Dour.
631
00:25:31,296 --> 00:25:34,198
Like, these are people
that I watched on TV
632
00:25:34,299 --> 00:25:38,002
-when I was in Pampers,
you know? (laughs) -(laughs)
633
00:25:38,102 --> 00:25:40,471
You know? Like, so, like,
seeing them in real life
634
00:25:40,572 --> 00:25:42,273
and actually making music
with them and,
635
00:25:42,373 --> 00:25:45,476
-you know, getting the love
and-and all that... -Right.
636
00:25:45,510 --> 00:25:48,012
...it's-it's--
Sometimes it gets kind of weird
637
00:25:48,112 --> 00:25:49,647
because I'm like, "Ra."
638
00:25:49,747 --> 00:25:51,482
It's like, "My mom loves you."
639
00:25:51,583 --> 00:25:54,686
(laughing)
640
00:25:54,786 --> 00:25:56,487
Your-your mom-- a lot of people
may not know this--
641
00:25:56,588 --> 00:25:58,122
-but your mom is your manager.
-Yeah.
642
00:25:58,223 --> 00:26:00,491
Yeah. Mama Burna.
Crushes it, by the way.
643
00:26:00,592 --> 00:26:02,093
-(cheering and applause)
-I love her.
644
00:26:02,193 --> 00:26:04,262
-Love her.
-(chuckles)
645
00:26:04,429 --> 00:26:06,764
But-but here's-- but here's
what I've always wondered,
646
00:26:06,864 --> 00:26:08,633
and it seems different--
You know, in America,
647
00:26:08,733 --> 00:26:11,102
there's a culture of--
they call them the "mom-agers."
648
00:26:11,202 --> 00:26:12,637
You know? And it's like--
This idea is like,
649
00:26:12,737 --> 00:26:15,340
if your parent is your manager,
things always go wrong.
650
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:16,641
On your side, it feels like
it's gone the exact
651
00:26:16,741 --> 00:26:18,509
-opposite way. -If your parent's
an American manager.
652
00:26:18,610 --> 00:26:20,645
(laughing)
653
00:26:23,047 --> 00:26:25,250
But, surely, was-was there not
a part of you that was worried
654
00:26:25,350 --> 00:26:27,185
about having your mom
be your manager?
655
00:26:27,285 --> 00:26:29,787
I mean, no, it's-it's like...
656
00:26:29,888 --> 00:26:31,789
It's-it's...
Obviously, it's not--
657
00:26:31,890 --> 00:26:35,093
-it's not all peaches and roses.
(chuckling) -Yeah.
658
00:26:35,193 --> 00:26:37,262
You get me?
But it's a lot of food.
659
00:26:37,362 --> 00:26:40,198
(laughing)
660
00:26:40,298 --> 00:26:42,834
So, I mean,
that-that makes me happy enough.
661
00:26:42,934 --> 00:26:44,168
(laughing)
662
00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:46,504
You're the artist.
Your mom is the manager.
663
00:26:46,604 --> 00:26:48,806
Technically, that's a power
balance that has shifted over.
664
00:26:48,907 --> 00:26:50,708
But, now, she's your mom
and she's an African mom,
665
00:26:50,808 --> 00:26:52,176
which means the power balance
never shifts over.
666
00:26:52,277 --> 00:26:53,211
-So...
-Yeah. Mm.
667
00:26:53,311 --> 00:26:54,546
Exactly.
668
00:26:54,646 --> 00:26:56,915
So, are there moments
where your mom goes like,
669
00:26:57,015 --> 00:26:59,717
"No, this is how we're doing it,
and that's how we do it."?
670
00:26:59,817 --> 00:27:01,920
Well, I mean,
you know what she does now.
671
00:27:02,020 --> 00:27:03,655
Like, she used to do that,
and then she...
672
00:27:03,755 --> 00:27:06,958
That wouldn't work out for her
because, you know, it's like,
673
00:27:07,058 --> 00:27:09,694
-"Get me out."
-(laughter)
674
00:27:09,794 --> 00:27:11,462
And, like, you just get stoic.
"I'm not moving."
675
00:27:11,563 --> 00:27:12,897
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
676
00:27:12,997 --> 00:27:14,799
So she figured out
some other way.
677
00:27:14,899 --> 00:27:17,135
She would make me feel
like it's my decision.
678
00:27:17,235 --> 00:27:21,239
(laughter, applause)
679
00:27:21,339 --> 00:27:23,575
Mama Burna!
680
00:27:23,675 --> 00:27:25,476
-Yup.
-You got your family with you.
681
00:27:25,577 --> 00:27:27,879
You tour with them. You're
traveling around the world.
682
00:27:27,979 --> 00:27:29,581
Yo, can I just say
congratulations,
683
00:27:29,681 --> 00:27:30,915
as well, on everything.
684
00:27:31,015 --> 00:27:32,984
I mean, selling out
the O2 Arena in London,
685
00:27:33,084 --> 00:27:35,587
selling out, um, you know,
The Forum in Hollywood.
686
00:27:35,687 --> 00:27:37,722
Now, the first Nigerian artist
687
00:27:37,822 --> 00:27:40,692
to ever sell out
Madison Square Garden.
688
00:27:40,792 --> 00:27:42,827
-(cheers and applause)
-And to play it, as well.
689
00:27:42,927 --> 00:27:44,662
Well, you know one thing...
690
00:27:44,762 --> 00:27:46,931
-you know one thing I always
wondered, like... -Yeah?
691
00:27:47,031 --> 00:27:50,101
Why...? How come when it's me,
they always
692
00:27:50,201 --> 00:27:52,470
point out the fact
that I'm the first to do it?
693
00:27:52,570 --> 00:27:56,007
Like, like, the first (bleep)
that landed on the moon.
694
00:27:56,107 --> 00:27:57,442
-You feel me?
-'Cause you got... you...
695
00:27:57,542 --> 00:27:59,410
It's like,
why-why when rock bands perform
696
00:27:59,477 --> 00:28:02,480
in-in Tokyo and stuff,
they don't say,
697
00:28:02,580 --> 00:28:06,150
"The first American rock band
to perform in Tokyo."?
698
00:28:06,251 --> 00:28:07,919
I think
because they're surprised.
699
00:28:08,019 --> 00:28:10,121
-There is an element
of surprise, you know? -But why?
700
00:28:10,221 --> 00:28:13,057
Because we've come a long way.
Do you know how far
701
00:28:13,157 --> 00:28:15,426
-Madison Square garden is
from Africa? -(laughter)
702
00:28:15,526 --> 00:28:17,562
Yeah, but, like, do you know
how far away Tokyo is
703
00:28:17,662 --> 00:28:19,330
for the... for KISS and...?
704
00:28:19,430 --> 00:28:21,065
Yeah, but you see, that's the
thing, if you think about it.
705
00:28:21,165 --> 00:28:25,169
Culture has, for such a long
time, been defined by America.
706
00:28:25,270 --> 00:28:26,571
And so, it makes sense
in a way...
707
00:28:26,671 --> 00:28:27,906
-Right, right.
-for people to go like,
708
00:28:28,006 --> 00:28:29,507
"Of course the music's
gonna go there, of course
709
00:28:29,607 --> 00:28:30,842
-the comedians are gonna go
there." -You get used to it.
710
00:28:30,942 --> 00:28:32,443
Do you know what I mean?
Now, think about it.
711
00:28:32,544 --> 00:28:34,913
-Things have like... to-to...
-Move on. Get...
712
00:28:35,013 --> 00:28:38,783
-(applause and cheering)
-But think about it, right?
713
00:28:38,883 --> 00:28:42,654
-Yeah. -For... for the world
to change the way it has...
714
00:28:42,754 --> 00:28:45,823
I mean, you see Beyoncé
incorporating your music
715
00:28:45,924 --> 00:28:47,692
into her vibe.
Do you get what I'm saying?
716
00:28:47,792 --> 00:28:49,460
These are big things
that have never happened,
717
00:28:49,494 --> 00:28:50,795
and it's beautiful.
Like, everyone's embracing it.
718
00:28:50,895 --> 00:28:52,497
I mean, if I was her,
I would incorporate my music
719
00:28:52,597 --> 00:28:54,666
-into her vibe.
-(laughter, applause)
720
00:28:57,735 --> 00:29:00,004
You know, every time...
While I'm speaking to you,
721
00:29:00,104 --> 00:29:02,006
every time, I see
the biggest difference
722
00:29:02,106 --> 00:29:05,410
between Nigerians
and almost every other African.
723
00:29:05,510 --> 00:29:07,845
Is that, like, every other
African has, like, a very...
724
00:29:07,946 --> 00:29:09,280
Um, what's the word
I'm looking for?
725
00:29:09,414 --> 00:29:12,116
A very timid approach to life.
Like, literally, like,
726
00:29:12,217 --> 00:29:14,085
if you say to, like,
a South African,
727
00:29:14,185 --> 00:29:16,154
"Hey, Trevor, you're doing well.
How are things going?,"
728
00:29:16,254 --> 00:29:18,890
then, as a South African,
my instinct to respond is like,
729
00:29:18,990 --> 00:29:20,992
"Ah, I'm trying, man. I'm...
You know, I'm doing okay.
730
00:29:21,092 --> 00:29:23,561
-"I'm trying, you know."
-You are lying. -(laughter)
731
00:29:23,661 --> 00:29:26,264
You see? You see? This is what
I mean about Nigerians.
732
00:29:26,431 --> 00:29:28,066
-(applause)
-This is what I mean.
733
00:29:28,166 --> 00:29:29,767
-No, no, but this is
what I mean. So... -Mm.
734
00:29:29,867 --> 00:29:31,769
And everywhere.
You go to Kenya, everything.
735
00:29:31,870 --> 00:29:33,438
-How are things? "Ah, no."
-That's the thing. We don't lie
736
00:29:33,471 --> 00:29:35,473
unless we want to scam you.
737
00:29:35,573 --> 00:29:38,943
(laughter, applause)
738
00:29:39,043 --> 00:29:41,913
This is Nigerians. Nigeri...
739
00:29:42,013 --> 00:29:43,748
I've never met a Nigerian
who's gonna be like,
740
00:29:43,848 --> 00:29:45,350
"No, I'm not killing it,"
if they're killing it.
741
00:29:45,450 --> 00:29:47,018
-They won't be like... Yeah.
-Yeah.
742
00:29:47,118 --> 00:29:48,519
So you think it's that?
It's just like...
743
00:29:48,620 --> 00:29:50,054
That's not something to lie
about. Like, if you're in court,
744
00:29:50,154 --> 00:29:51,890
or you're about to go to jail,
you should lie. But, like...
745
00:29:51,990 --> 00:29:53,691
-(laughter)
-But if you're killing it?
746
00:29:53,791 --> 00:29:57,996
If you're killing, like,
you should be happier.
747
00:29:58,096 --> 00:30:00,632
-Yeah. -Um, let's talk
about the new album.
748
00:30:00,732 --> 00:30:03,067
I've noticed you've teased
a few snippets from it,
749
00:30:03,167 --> 00:30:04,435
but you're doing that thing
artists do.
750
00:30:04,536 --> 00:30:06,104
Before we talk about that,
let's talk about this.
751
00:30:06,204 --> 00:30:07,605
Why every time...? This is
the second time I come here.
752
00:30:07,705 --> 00:30:10,909
-Yeah. -You never offer me
no drink. -(laughter)
753
00:30:11,009 --> 00:30:12,477
This-this... Don't believe
the man. It's here.
754
00:30:12,577 --> 00:30:13,945
It's, like, you offer me
chocolates and tea...
755
00:30:14,045 --> 00:30:15,480
What do you...?
What do you...?
756
00:30:15,580 --> 00:30:17,482
...and like I'm Bugs Bunny
or Tele...
757
00:30:17,582 --> 00:30:20,051
-Burna, what do you want?
-I need a drink, man.
758
00:30:20,151 --> 00:30:21,452
What do you want me
to offer you?
759
00:30:21,553 --> 00:30:24,455
Things that people
that look like me would...
760
00:30:24,556 --> 00:30:26,658
(laughter)
761
00:30:26,758 --> 00:30:28,426
Oh, let me take...
let me take these glasses off
762
00:30:28,493 --> 00:30:31,429
-so you understand. Ah.
-(cheers and applause)
763
00:30:31,462 --> 00:30:33,431
So, you see that I'm-I'm...
764
00:30:33,498 --> 00:30:37,769
I'm actually a real person
that needs a drink.
765
00:30:37,869 --> 00:30:39,571
You know what I love.
766
00:30:39,671 --> 00:30:40,872
I can always get you a drink.
767
00:30:40,972 --> 00:30:42,640
The only thing
I have to remember is
768
00:30:42,740 --> 00:30:44,642
to switch out the things
that happened.
769
00:30:44,742 --> 00:30:46,511
-Because I'll get you the drink.
-Mm.
770
00:30:46,611 --> 00:30:47,912
And then I'll leave
the drinks there,
771
00:30:48,012 --> 00:30:49,881
and then you find, like...
Let's say, like,
772
00:30:49,981 --> 00:30:52,183
Kamala Harris comes
to the show next day.
773
00:30:52,283 --> 00:30:54,786
And then backstage, she's like,
"Wow, I was getting turnt."
774
00:30:54,886 --> 00:30:56,554
Um...
775
00:30:56,654 --> 00:30:58,223
What is your drink of choice?
What would you like next...
776
00:30:58,389 --> 00:30:59,991
I'll make sure I get it for you
next time. What do you want?
777
00:31:00,091 --> 00:31:02,260
Man, I don't want to promote
no one right now, but...
778
00:31:02,393 --> 00:31:03,995
-Okay. Okay. You'll tell me...
-What to get me.
779
00:31:04,095 --> 00:31:05,430
But you want...
So, water's not for Burna?
780
00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:07,999
No, water is definitely for me,
but it's like, you know,
781
00:31:08,099 --> 00:31:10,602
when I'm...
when I'm dressed like this...
782
00:31:10,702 --> 00:31:12,170
(laughter)
783
00:31:12,270 --> 00:31:14,973
(cheering and applause)
784
00:31:15,073 --> 00:31:16,741
Make sure...
785
00:31:16,841 --> 00:31:19,310
Make sure we get Burna...
What else would you like?
786
00:31:19,410 --> 00:31:20,812
What else
would you like backstage?
787
00:31:20,912 --> 00:31:23,681
Uh, well, I mean, I already got
some weed, so I'm good.
788
00:31:23,781 --> 00:31:26,117
(laughter and applause)
789
00:31:26,217 --> 00:31:27,986
This is what I love about...
790
00:31:28,086 --> 00:31:31,623
This is what I love
about working with you.
791
00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:33,524
All right,
now can we talk about the album?
792
00:31:33,625 --> 00:31:35,660
-Yeah, yeah, for sure.
-Now that you've called me out
793
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:37,428
-for not offering you
stiff drinks? -(chuckles)
794
00:31:37,495 --> 00:31:39,230
-Very rude. -I like
how angry you were about the...
795
00:31:39,330 --> 00:31:40,431
"And chocolates!
796
00:31:40,531 --> 00:31:42,166
How can you offer me
chocolates, huh?"
797
00:31:42,267 --> 00:31:43,801
-Chocolates, man.
-Um...
798
00:31:43,902 --> 00:31:46,204
-With pretzel. What-What is...?
-(laughing)
799
00:31:46,304 --> 00:31:48,540
Like, what is a pretzel?
(chuckling)
800
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:50,608
(laughter)
801
00:31:53,678 --> 00:31:56,147
Oh, man. Um...
802
00:31:56,247 --> 00:31:57,482
You've teased the album,
803
00:31:57,582 --> 00:31:58,917
but you've done
that thing artists do
804
00:31:59,017 --> 00:32:00,618
where we don't know
when it's coming.
805
00:32:00,718 --> 00:32:02,220
We don't know who's gonna be...
806
00:32:02,387 --> 00:32:03,988
Like, I-I saw a snippet
of you in the studio.
807
00:32:04,088 --> 00:32:06,057
I saw... I saw Ed Sheeran.
808
00:32:06,157 --> 00:32:07,825
-Yeah, man.
-And people lost their minds.
809
00:32:07,926 --> 00:32:10,261
So I was like, Ed Sheeran looks
like he's gonna be on the album,
810
00:32:10,395 --> 00:32:11,429
-but you won't tell us.
-(chuckles)
811
00:32:11,529 --> 00:32:12,897
When is the album
coming out, Burna?
812
00:32:12,997 --> 00:32:15,500
Uh...
813
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:17,569
(laughter and applause)
814
00:32:17,669 --> 00:32:20,271
-Oh, okay. Okay.
-(chuckles)
815
00:32:20,405 --> 00:32:23,808
Oh, so now the Nigerian
doesn't want to tell the truth.
816
00:32:23,908 --> 00:32:25,743
-Okay.
-You see, that's the thing.
817
00:32:25,843 --> 00:32:28,046
-I didn't say anything, did I?
-Oh, okay.
818
00:32:28,146 --> 00:32:29,847
-So I didn't lie. -Okay,
so silence. Silence. All right.
819
00:32:29,948 --> 00:32:31,416
-Okay, you know what, I'll give
you... -Just tell me about it.
820
00:32:31,449 --> 00:32:33,151
-Tell me about it. Okay.
-Now, 'cause you're my guy,
821
00:32:33,251 --> 00:32:35,286
you know, I won't...
I won't let you down.
822
00:32:35,420 --> 00:32:37,855
-Yeah.
-In front of all these people.
823
00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:40,091
-Um... (chuckles)
-(laughter)
824
00:32:40,191 --> 00:32:42,427
Okay, so... Hmm. It's...
825
00:32:42,527 --> 00:32:43,795
-I'll give you a hint.
-Yeah.
826
00:32:43,895 --> 00:32:45,430
It's gonna come out
827
00:32:45,463 --> 00:32:48,633
on a day everyone celebrates
828
00:32:48,733 --> 00:32:51,636
for their self
when it's their own day.
829
00:32:51,736 --> 00:32:54,305
(audience murmuring)
830
00:32:54,405 --> 00:32:55,707
All right.
831
00:32:55,807 --> 00:32:57,508
I don't know what that means,
but, uh...
832
00:32:57,609 --> 00:33:00,345
-You see?
-I can... I-I feel it.
833
00:33:00,445 --> 00:33:03,047
Something deep
for you to take home.
834
00:33:03,147 --> 00:33:05,183
(both laughing)
835
00:33:08,086 --> 00:33:09,220
You just left me with a riddle
836
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:10,588
that I've got to go
and figure out now.
837
00:33:10,688 --> 00:33:12,657
-Yeah. (chuckles)
-I'm like, "Is it a Friday?
838
00:33:12,757 --> 00:33:14,626
"Is it a birthday?
Is it a Sunday?
839
00:33:14,726 --> 00:33:16,227
"Is it a Saturday?
Depends on the day
840
00:33:16,327 --> 00:33:17,528
that you celebrate what you do."
841
00:33:17,629 --> 00:33:20,164
No, not what you do.
You just... Everybody...
842
00:33:20,265 --> 00:33:21,733
It's like,
it's not everybody in the world
843
00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:23,568
that has a job, you know?
So it's like...
844
00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:25,069
-Okay. Okay.
-Nobody-nobody has...
845
00:33:25,169 --> 00:33:26,704
But this, everybody has it,
846
00:33:26,804 --> 00:33:28,406
so everybody has
their day to celebrate it.
847
00:33:28,506 --> 00:33:30,475
Okay. We're gonna
figure this out, man.
848
00:33:30,575 --> 00:33:32,176
We're gonna figure this out.
Burna Boy, everybody.
849
00:33:32,277 --> 00:33:34,145
Thank you so much for joining me
on the show again, my dude.
850
00:33:34,245 --> 00:33:37,048
Good to have you as always.
I'll have a drink next time.
851
00:33:37,148 --> 00:33:38,583
Most definitely.
Most definitely.
852
00:33:38,683 --> 00:33:40,418
You can catch Burna Boy
at Madison Square Garden
853
00:33:40,518 --> 00:33:41,953
only if you have a ticket
because it's sold-out.
854
00:33:42,053 --> 00:33:43,521
One Night in Space
on April 28th.
855
00:33:43,621 --> 00:33:44,689
We're gonna take a quick break,
856
00:33:44,789 --> 00:33:46,791
but we'll be right back
after this.
857
00:33:46,891 --> 00:33:48,927
(cheering and applause)
858
00:33:55,766 --> 00:33:56,800
(cheering and applause)
859
00:33:56,900 --> 00:33:58,068
Well,
that's our show for tonight.
860
00:33:58,168 --> 00:34:00,737
But before we go,
I just wanted to remind you
861
00:34:00,837 --> 00:34:03,273
that nearly 4,000 homes
have been destroyed
862
00:34:03,373 --> 00:34:05,709
and more than 40,000 people
have been displaced
863
00:34:05,809 --> 00:34:07,110
by the floods and the mudslides
864
00:34:07,210 --> 00:34:08,378
in my home country,
South Africa.
865
00:34:08,478 --> 00:34:09,880
Now, Gift of the Givers
866
00:34:09,980 --> 00:34:11,515
is an amazing
South African organization
867
00:34:11,615 --> 00:34:13,083
that is helping on the ground
868
00:34:13,183 --> 00:34:15,218
to help those affected
by these floods.
869
00:34:15,319 --> 00:34:18,155
So, please, if you can help them
in their work in any way,
870
00:34:18,255 --> 00:34:19,823
then donate at the link below.
871
00:34:19,923 --> 00:34:21,525
Until tomorrow,
stay safe out there.
872
00:34:21,625 --> 00:34:24,561
And remember,
stop beating up refs
873
00:34:24,661 --> 00:34:26,563
at your kids' games.
874
00:34:26,663 --> 00:34:28,932
Just bribe them,
and everybody wins.
875
00:34:29,032 --> 00:34:32,035
Now here it is,
Your Moment of Zen.
876
00:34:32,135 --> 00:34:34,204
-♪ ♪
-KIDS: Yay!
877
00:34:34,304 --> 00:34:35,973
(cheering)
878
00:34:36,073 --> 00:34:37,341
NEWSWOMAN:
It's a boy!
879
00:34:37,441 --> 00:34:39,176
But the dad-to-be is so excited
880
00:34:39,276 --> 00:34:41,511
at his baseball-themed
gender reveal,
881
00:34:41,611 --> 00:34:44,147
he runs right over
to his buddies.
882
00:34:44,247 --> 00:34:46,116
He carries on with the bros
883
00:34:46,216 --> 00:34:48,318
while she's pushed to the side.
884
00:34:48,418 --> 00:34:50,754
Hey, what about me?