1 00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:03,537 ANNOUNCER: Coming to you from New York City, 2 00:00:03,637 --> 00:00:05,272 the only city in America, 3 00:00:05,372 --> 00:00:07,174 it's The Daily Show. 4 00:00:07,274 --> 00:00:08,642 Tonight: 5 00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:11,311 Trump versus fruit, 6 00:00:11,411 --> 00:00:14,114 Madison Cawthorn versus everyone, 7 00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:16,884 and Daniel Ricciardo! 8 00:00:16,984 --> 00:00:21,221 This is The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. 9 00:00:21,321 --> 00:00:23,357 (cheering and applause) 10 00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:38,906 What's going on, everybody? Welcome to The Daily Show. 11 00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:41,275 I'm Trevor Noah. Thank you so much for tuning in. 12 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,277 Thank you for coming out in person. 13 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,479 Thank you for being here. Thank you for being here. 14 00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:47,181 Thank you for being here. Everybody, 15 00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:48,882 thank you for being here. Take a seat. Take a seat. 16 00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:51,818 Man, we have got a great show for you tonight. 17 00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:54,721 Our guest is one of the biggest stars in Formula 1. 18 00:00:54,821 --> 00:00:57,024 You probably know him from Netflix's hit show 19 00:00:57,124 --> 00:00:59,193 Drive to Survive. Daniel Ricciardo is joining us, 20 00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:02,696 everyone. The best smile in racing. 21 00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:05,065 Plus, Desi Lydic's got your weekend weather, 22 00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:08,735 Donald Trump is terrified of fruit, and we introduce you 23 00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:11,471 to the most scandalous Congressperson in these streets. 24 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,373 So, let's do this, people. 25 00:01:13,473 --> 00:01:15,542 Let's jump straight into today's headlines. 26 00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:17,811 -♪ ♪ -(cheering, applause) 27 00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:26,753 All right, let's kick things off 28 00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:29,790 with the latest news from Afghanistan. 29 00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:32,693 For months now, we have known that the Biden administration 30 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:36,096 completely botched the exit of American troops from 31 00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:38,599 America's longest war. Yeah, even the Game of Thrones guys 32 00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:40,300 like, "Oof. Rough ending." 33 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,737 But now, for the first time, we're learning the details 34 00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:47,174 of how costly this mistake actually was. 35 00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,443 We do have some new CNN reporting this morning. 36 00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:52,479 The U.S. left behind seven billion dollars 37 00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:54,114 worth of military equipment 38 00:01:54,181 --> 00:01:56,984 in the chaotic withdrawal from Afghanistan last year. 39 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,753 That equipment now in the hands of the Taliban. 40 00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:02,389 What kind of equipment is it? According to the report, 41 00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:06,793 a few details: aircraft, munitions, military vehicles, 42 00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:11,265 weapons, communications gear. A lot of it requires 43 00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:13,834 very precise maintenance to remain usable. 44 00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:16,503 They don't know if the Taliban have been able 45 00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:19,173 to keep all of this stuff running. That's a, 46 00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:22,876 that's a key question that they may never get an answer to. 47 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,612 They left seven billion dollars worth of military equipment 48 00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:27,147 in Afghanistan. 49 00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:30,784 How is that even possible? Like, 'cause, I get anxiety 50 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:33,420 leaving a hotel in a hurry, you know? 51 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,222 I get that. You know, like, when you're rushing and then you 52 00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:36,957 toothbrush? But Let me tell you something-- 53 00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:39,693 if I left seven billion dollars worth of toothbrushes, 54 00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:43,463 we're turning this Uber around, people. We're going back. 55 00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:46,266 Now, a-according to the people who left the stuff behind-- 56 00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:48,101 and this-this part was really interesting-- 57 00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:51,004 they say this might not be an issue. Because they say 58 00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:54,208 the Taliban might not be able to operate this stuff anyway 59 00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:56,410 because of how complicated it is. 60 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,145 Now, first of all, I feel like they're just saying that 61 00:02:58,245 --> 00:03:01,081 cover their ass. Second of all, how are they gonna act like 62 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,083 the Taliban doesn't have YouTube? 63 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:06,653 You can find anything on YouTube. 64 00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:09,256 Anything! 65 00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,725 You're telling me only Americans can use this equipment, 66 00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:13,126 but the Taliban can't? 67 00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:14,828 They're acting like to turn the tank on, 68 00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:17,731 you have s-sing, like, the theme song to Friends, you know? 69 00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:18,765 You just got to be like, "Come on, guys. 70 00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,601 You got to get the claps right." 71 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,803 It's not working! What's happening? 72 00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:26,240 Here's my question. Here's my question. 73 00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:28,542 America never has the money for anything. Right? 74 00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,110 There's not enough money for health care, there's not enough 75 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:33,080 money for education, there's not enough money to finally finish 76 00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:35,916 the Washington Monument by putting two balls on it, but... 77 00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:39,419 America has no problem with leaving behind 78 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,089 seven billion dollars worth of weapons? 79 00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:46,493 How come that never happens any other way? 80 00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:49,296 Like, just once, I would love to turn on the news 81 00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,265 and hear something like... 82 00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:52,699 This just in: the government 83 00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:55,335 has too much money for health care. 84 00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:57,738 So, everyone gets a free butt lift. 85 00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,943 It's mind-boggling, people. It's mind-boggling how much 86 00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:04,545 money America wastes on the military. 87 00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,346 And don't let them trick you into saying, like, 88 00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:07,848 "Oh, no, it goes to the troops." Cause it doesn't 89 00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,449 go to the troops. All right? The troops are not 90 00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:12,352 balling in the club. No. The defense contractors 91 00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:13,854 is where the money goes. 92 00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:15,355 And then you hear these people, like, 93 00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:17,457 "Well, we need to spend that money to keep people safe." 94 00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:18,859 But let me ask you this. 95 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:21,495 What's more threatening to people in America? 96 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,597 A group of rebels in some foreign country 97 00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:26,099 or health care nobody can afford, 98 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,902 toxic drinking water, poverty, pollution? 99 00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,470 Because if I was America, 100 00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:34,074 I would spend my war money on the biggest threats. 101 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,242 Yeah. That's what I would do. 102 00:04:35,342 --> 00:04:36,476 And then I would send the Taliban 103 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:38,078 Flint's old water pipes. 104 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,080 That's how I'd fight. 105 00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:41,815 You don't need missiles. Just send that shit. 106 00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:43,750 "Yeah, try drinking now." 107 00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:45,619 All right, but let's move on to England, 108 00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:48,422 the world's number one exporter of Benedict Cumberbatches. 109 00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:49,923 (laughter and applause) 110 00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:53,427 As you may know, U.K. Parliament can be a pretty rowdy place. 111 00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:54,995 You know, every day, people are shouting 112 00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:56,897 and booing at each other like the crowd 113 00:04:56,997 --> 00:04:58,665 at the world's pastiest rap battle. 114 00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:02,035 But it turns out that there is something 115 00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:04,404 that you're not allowed to do on the floor, 116 00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:07,374 as one British politician found out. 117 00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,710 The Conservative Party has launched an investigation 118 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,045 into claims by some of its female MPs 119 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:15,482 that a Tory colleague watched porn on his mobile phone 120 00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:17,384 in the House of Commons itself. 121 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,520 Who is the Tory MP 122 00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:22,356 accused of watching pornography in the Commons? 123 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:24,057 We still don't know, 124 00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:27,294 but government ministers have lined up today to condemn him, 125 00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:29,062 saying there's no place for pornography 126 00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:30,964 in any workplace. 127 00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,633 The MP could be suspended 128 00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:35,068 and thrown out of the Conservative Party, 129 00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:37,771 and the story has reignited criticism 130 00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:41,074 of the overall culture in Parliament. 131 00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:43,277 A member of the U.K.'s Conservative Party 132 00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:46,380 was caught watching porn during a session, 133 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,882 and now he could be expelled for it. 134 00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:51,151 And I'll be honest. I'm just trying to understand 135 00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:53,220 the motivation here. 136 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:56,123 No, no, like, like, what part of Parliament 137 00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:58,792 made this guy want to watch porn? 138 00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:01,028 Like, what-what turned him on? 139 00:06:01,128 --> 00:06:04,598 Was there some new legislation that was getting him hot? 140 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,233 You know, was there some other minister 141 00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:08,402 who was like, "This country is going deeper 142 00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:11,104 "and deeper into debt. 143 00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:13,073 We cannot pull out at this point"? 144 00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:14,908 He's just like, "Oh! 145 00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:17,110 Oh, boy! Oh, boy!" 146 00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:19,246 (cheering and applause) 147 00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:22,416 And, you know, if you ask me, 148 00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:25,686 kicking him out wasn't the right punishment, man. 149 00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:27,955 What they should be doing is what parents do 150 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:30,057 when they catch a kid smoking cigarettes. 151 00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:33,861 Yeah. They should force him to watch all of Pornhub. 152 00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:35,796 That'll teach him a lesson. He'll be like... 153 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,464 (crying): "Oh, I've seen all the categories 154 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:40,334 "I didn't know existed. Please! 155 00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:43,570 "Who knew Congress had cocaine orgies? 156 00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:46,240 It's too much, Mitch McConnell." 157 00:06:46,340 --> 00:06:48,242 (laughter) 158 00:06:48,342 --> 00:06:49,743 I like that you saw him in your mind. 159 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:51,078 (chuckles) That was funny. 160 00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:54,314 One of you was like, "Oh, I saw it, Trevor." 161 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,183 I mean, look, I-I get that Britain 162 00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:58,519 doesn't want its politicians watching porn at work. 163 00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:01,188 You know? But I will say I think the one exception 164 00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:03,023 should be the royal family. 165 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:05,792 No, I-I think porn could really open their eyes 166 00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:07,728 to the beauty of interracial relationships. 167 00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:10,697 You know? That could be a good thing for them. 168 00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:12,733 Oh, and finally, and finally, 169 00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:14,201 if you want to talk about politicians 170 00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:15,636 getting into weird trouble, 171 00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:18,472 then there's no better example than Donald J. Trump, 172 00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:20,440 45th president of the United States 173 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:24,044 and phantom of the Mar-a-Lago carving station. 174 00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:26,313 You see, the former president 175 00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:28,415 is currently being sued 176 00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:31,952 for inciting violence against protesters. 177 00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:34,821 And it's gotten serious enough 178 00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:36,690 that he was actually forced 179 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,059 to testify about it. 180 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:40,260 NEWSWOMAN: Former President Donald Trump 181 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,129 testified under oath he was worried 182 00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:44,565 that protesters would hurl things at him 183 00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,066 and that they were dangerous. 184 00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:48,735 It's part of his deposition from back in October 185 00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:51,538 for a civil lawsuit in New York where activists claim 186 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,640 that the former president's bodyguards 187 00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:55,309 violently broke up protests 188 00:07:55,409 --> 00:07:58,378 outside Trump Tower back in 2015. 189 00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,880 Okay, first of all, it's crazy 190 00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,448 that there are so many Trump scandals 191 00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:03,417 that he's literally getting dragged into court 192 00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:05,085 for something we didn't even know was a thing. 193 00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:06,520 Like, did you know this was a thing? 194 00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,255 Huh? Did you? Nobody knew. 195 00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:10,190 Nobody knew about this. I didn't. 196 00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:12,125 Trump lawsuits are like Nicolas Cage movies. 197 00:08:12,226 --> 00:08:14,161 There's, like, a bunch where you're like, 198 00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:17,030 "He lost a pig? When did that happen?" 199 00:08:18,432 --> 00:08:20,834 But, anyway, Trump was being sued 200 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:23,470 for inciting violence to protesters, right? 201 00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:25,906 Against protesters, rather. And then he came up 202 00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:29,376 with one of the most crazy defenses I've ever heard. 203 00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:31,778 This might be my favorite story of the year. 204 00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:33,814 And to fully understand the story, 205 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:36,250 you have to hear the actual deposition 206 00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:37,618 that Trump gave in the case. 207 00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:40,854 Now, unfortunately, there's no recording. 208 00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:44,558 But, fortunately, there is a transcript. 209 00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:46,226 So, to give you a little taste, 210 00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:47,828 uh, I'm gonna get some help 211 00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:49,763 from our very own Michael Kosta, everybody. 212 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,899 (cheering and applause) 213 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,735 You see... 214 00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:59,540 For your... for your, uh, 215 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,008 understanding and enjoyment, 216 00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:03,043 Kosta and I are going to read sections 217 00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,778 from the transcript for you. 218 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,848 Now, he will be reading the parts of various lawyers, 219 00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:10,784 and I will be playing Donald Jackfruit Trump. 220 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:14,254 And, again, we're just gonna read excerpts 221 00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:15,856 from the actual transcript. 222 00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:17,624 Because, I promise you, 223 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,159 no comedy writer 224 00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:22,296 is gonna come up with something funnier than this. 225 00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:24,198 -All right, are you guys ready? You ready? -AUDIENCE: Yeah! 226 00:09:24,298 --> 00:09:25,532 -(cheering and applause) -All right. Um... 227 00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:28,235 So... so, just so you understand, 228 00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,470 the key section begins 229 00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:33,207 with lawyers playing a video 230 00:09:33,307 --> 00:09:36,043 from a 2016 Trump rally. 231 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,513 TRUMP (recorded): If you see somebody getting ready 232 00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:42,516 to throw a tomato, knock the crap out of 'em, would you? 233 00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:44,451 -Seriously. -(cheering, whistling) 234 00:09:53,227 --> 00:09:54,461 Mm. 235 00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:08,442 We were told. We were told. 236 00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,082 Mm. 237 00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:21,655 It's worse than a tomato... 238 00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:23,023 Mm. 239 00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:30,364 Mm. Mm-hmm. 240 00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:34,501 I wanted to have people be ready 241 00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:36,270 because we were put on alert 242 00:10:36,370 --> 00:10:38,005 that they were gonna do... 243 00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:41,141 -they were gonna do to fruit. -Mm-hmm. 244 00:10:43,277 --> 00:10:44,378 Mm. 245 00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:47,314 Mm. 246 00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:54,855 Mm. 247 00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:03,730 Mm. 248 00:11:48,642 --> 00:11:50,177 And scene. 249 00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:51,578 (cheering and applause) 250 00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:53,747 Thank you. Thank you. 251 00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:55,349 Thank you very much. Thank you. 252 00:11:55,449 --> 00:11:57,384 Thank you. Oh, thank you. 253 00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:59,386 I couldn't do it without you. Thank you so much. 254 00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,054 Thank you. 255 00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:03,323 -Thank you very much. -(chuckles) 256 00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:07,694 Our two-man show, The President and the Fruit, 257 00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:09,863 will be, uh, off-Broadway soon. 258 00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:12,866 Again, that conversation really happened 259 00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:15,068 with the former president of the United States. 260 00:12:15,169 --> 00:12:17,137 And I will say this-- he's not wrong about being hit 261 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,206 with a pineapple being dangerous, you know? 262 00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:20,541 I mean, that's got spikes built in. 263 00:12:20,641 --> 00:12:22,109 And the banana, too. 264 00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:23,844 It might not seem dangerous, but remember, 265 00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:25,546 someone throws a banana, it comes right back at them. 266 00:12:25,646 --> 00:12:26,880 So again, just throwing it at you, 267 00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,515 keep hitting you over and over again. 268 00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:30,617 You know what I think the worst fruit is to get hit with? 269 00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:33,253 A honeydew. Yeah. No, not because it's hard. 270 00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:35,122 Just because you could get some in your mouth, 271 00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:36,623 -and that shit is disgusting. -(laughter) 272 00:12:36,723 --> 00:12:39,293 Like, I'd hope it hits me in the head and kills me 273 00:12:39,393 --> 00:12:41,595 so I don't have to taste it. That's what I hope for. 274 00:12:41,695 --> 00:12:43,230 But, no, people, this is serious stuff. 275 00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:45,399 And it's actually caused the Secret Service 276 00:12:45,499 --> 00:12:47,100 to alter their methods. 277 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:50,938 I'm told that we've obtained a classified training video 278 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:55,275 that shows how Secret Service protesters are now going 279 00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:58,345 to be dealt with, and here's some of the new training. 280 00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,814 (chiming, weapon firing) 281 00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:04,585 (explosion, whooshing) 282 00:13:04,685 --> 00:13:07,855 -Incredible. Really incredible. -(applause and cheering) 283 00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,158 All right, that's it for the headlines, 284 00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:13,160 but before we go, let's catch up 285 00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:14,695 on this weekend's weather forecast 286 00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,296 with our very own Desi Lydic, everybody! 287 00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:18,799 (applause and cheering) 288 00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:20,567 Thank you. Thank you. 289 00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:22,669 -So good to see you. -Great to see you. 290 00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:24,371 -So good to see you. -Yeah. 291 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,540 Uh, so, Desi, what's going on? 292 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,976 Everything's great. I finally disposed 293 00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:32,346 of my last burner phone so that's really exciting. 294 00:13:32,446 --> 00:13:34,414 They got nothing on me now. 295 00:13:34,515 --> 00:13:37,317 -(laughter) -Uh, I don't know what that meant. 296 00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,086 I meant what's going on with the weather? 297 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,622 Oh, oh, oh, yeah. No, I'm glad you asked about that, 298 00:13:41,722 --> 00:13:43,223 because I've been meaning to talk to you. 299 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:48,495 It has been freezing inside this building. Like, really cold. 300 00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:50,831 Every single room. We got to do something about that. 301 00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:53,734 I mean, who set the thermostat, the patriarchy? 302 00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,769 (laughter) 303 00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:58,939 -I thought you were going to do the... -Yeah. By the way, 304 00:13:59,106 --> 00:14:02,509 that Trump fruit thing-- that really strikes a chord with me. 305 00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:05,212 Have you ever been hit in the head with a piece of fruit? 306 00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:06,947 -No. -Never? 307 00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:08,782 -No. -No fruit? 308 00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:10,784 -Nothing. -Not, like, a kiwi or a tangerine? 309 00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:13,053 -No, no. -Clementine? 310 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,055 -No fruit ever. -Pear? 311 00:14:15,122 --> 00:14:16,523 -No, no fruit. -Plum? 312 00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:18,525 -No fruit -Some sort of melon, like a cantaloupe? 313 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,627 -It's still "no." -Maraschino cherry? 314 00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:22,196 -No. -An app-ricot? 315 00:14:22,296 --> 00:14:23,931 -No. -An apricot? 316 00:14:24,064 --> 00:14:25,465 -That's the same thing twice. -(laughter) 317 00:14:25,566 --> 00:14:28,302 I have never been hit by a fruit in the head, Desi. 318 00:14:28,402 --> 00:14:31,405 Lucky, lucky, lucky. Wow. Yeah. 319 00:14:31,505 --> 00:14:33,307 Oh, by the way, can you believe that guy got caught 320 00:14:33,407 --> 00:14:36,376 -watching porn at work... passively? -Right. 321 00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:40,347 I mean, what kind of psychopath watches porn passively, 322 00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:43,584 -like it's a commercial or something? -(laughter) 323 00:14:43,684 --> 00:14:45,652 All right, you should be doing one of two things 324 00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:48,388 when you're watching porn-- either pleasuring yourself, 325 00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,524 or crying while pleasuring yourself. 326 00:14:50,624 --> 00:14:53,160 -(laughter) -There's, like, no in between. 327 00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:55,796 Even at work, you got to really set the mood and commit. 328 00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:57,464 You got to dim the lights, 329 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,466 roll out a bear skin rug, 330 00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:03,504 fill a glass with a piping hot cup of French onion soup. 331 00:15:03,604 --> 00:15:05,339 (laughter) 332 00:15:05,439 --> 00:15:06,907 Make it nice. 333 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,710 I thought you were ordering the soup because you were sick. 334 00:15:09,810 --> 00:15:11,378 -Don't kink-shame me, Trevor. -I'm not kink... 335 00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:12,946 -Judgy. -You know what? 336 00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:15,582 Desi, could you please just tell us what the weather's gonna be? 337 00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:18,385 -Oh, no, I haven't been outside in weeks. -(laughter) 338 00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:21,255 No, I got to lay low. The whole burner phone thing. 339 00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:23,257 -What is this about? -Well, I would tell you, 340 00:15:23,357 --> 00:15:25,626 but, you know, you might have to testify. 341 00:15:25,726 --> 00:15:27,528 To who? 342 00:15:27,628 --> 00:15:28,862 Trevor, have you not been listening? 343 00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:33,200 The fruit, the porn, the French onion soup. 344 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,736 All of that. You know, well, frankly, now you're implicated 345 00:15:35,836 --> 00:15:37,504 so you got to think about what you're going to say. 346 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:40,207 -I don't know anything, though. -Ah, yes, exactly. 347 00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:41,675 Say that. That's good. 348 00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:43,177 No. No, I don't know what you're talking about. 349 00:15:43,277 --> 00:15:44,845 -Yeah, tell them that. That's good. -No. Tell who that? 350 00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:46,146 -I don't know what you're talking about. -See? 351 00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:47,514 -This is why I roll with you. -I don't roll... 352 00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:48,949 -I don't know what you're talking about. -This is... 353 00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:50,317 No, I don't roll with you. I don't... 354 00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:52,085 No, this is why I roll with you. This is why we roll. 355 00:15:52,186 --> 00:15:53,654 I feel like you committed a crime, 356 00:15:53,754 --> 00:15:55,455 and I don't want to be a part of... I do not roll with you. 357 00:15:55,556 --> 00:15:56,723 I'm right there with you. 358 00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:58,091 No, no, you're not. Desi Lydic, everybody. 359 00:15:58,125 --> 00:15:59,293 -I'm not with you. -You will ride with me. 360 00:15:59,393 --> 00:16:00,694 -Not with me. You know what? -Ride with me. 361 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:03,263 -You know what? Let's do this. -(applause and cheering) 362 00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:06,667 We're going to take a quick break separately, not with Desi, 363 00:16:06,767 --> 00:16:09,469 and then after, we will tell you about the many, many scandals 364 00:16:09,570 --> 00:16:11,939 of Congressman Madison Cawthorn. You don't want to miss it. 365 00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:13,574 Not with you. I'm not with you. 366 00:16:13,674 --> 00:16:15,142 No, we're completely separate. 367 00:16:15,242 --> 00:16:17,277 (cheers and applause) 368 00:16:22,281 --> 00:16:24,316 (cheering and applause) 369 00:16:28,987 --> 00:16:31,690 Welcome back to The Daily Show. 370 00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:35,227 You know, most politicians get into trouble 371 00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:37,396 every once in a while. You know, it's part of the job. 372 00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:39,498 A little illegal campaign contribution, 373 00:16:39,598 --> 00:16:42,367 uh, a little sex scandal, a little storming the Capitol. 374 00:16:42,467 --> 00:16:45,170 You know, trivial stuff we've all come to accept. 375 00:16:45,270 --> 00:16:47,973 But in the past few weeks, one member of Congress 376 00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:49,775 has been collecting scandals 377 00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:52,678 like Steve Harvey collects those pinstripe suits. 378 00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:54,746 So, let's check in on what this politician 379 00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,415 has been getting up to in another installment 380 00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:58,016 of Fringe-Watching. 381 00:16:58,116 --> 00:17:00,152 -♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause) 382 00:17:02,621 --> 00:17:05,657 Right now, the reigning scandal champion in Washington 383 00:17:05,757 --> 00:17:08,694 is none other than Madison Cawthorn, 384 00:17:08,794 --> 00:17:10,462 congressman from North Carolina 385 00:17:10,562 --> 00:17:12,130 and what lacrosse would look like 386 00:17:12,231 --> 00:17:13,565 if it were a person. 387 00:17:13,665 --> 00:17:15,467 From the moment he showed up 388 00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:16,869 on the political scene two years ago, 389 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:20,606 Cawthorn has always been a controversial figure. 390 00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:23,375 Right? First, he faced sexual harassment allegations 391 00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:24,710 from his time in college. 392 00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:26,411 And then he was caught lying 393 00:17:26,512 --> 00:17:28,580 about getting into the Naval Academy. 394 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,816 And then he got in trouble 395 00:17:30,916 --> 00:17:32,885 for gleefully posting on Instagram 396 00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:35,487 about his visit to Hitler's mountain retreat 397 00:17:35,587 --> 00:17:36,788 or, as he called it, 398 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:39,858 "the vacation house of the führer." 399 00:17:39,958 --> 00:17:42,394 Yeah. Which is weird. I mean, we don't need 400 00:17:42,427 --> 00:17:44,263 to be referring to Hitler by his nickname. 401 00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:46,732 Like, I call Jay-Z Hova, right? 402 00:17:46,832 --> 00:17:48,267 But I probably wouldn't do that anymore 403 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,135 if he committed genocide, you know? 404 00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:52,771 And, by the way, this was all before Cawthorn 405 00:17:52,871 --> 00:17:54,106 even got into Congress. 406 00:17:54,206 --> 00:17:56,275 Yeah. Since he's taken the oath of office, 407 00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:58,677 his scandals have definitely not slowed down. 408 00:17:58,777 --> 00:17:59,912 Most recently, 409 00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:01,613 you probably heard that he made headlines 410 00:18:01,713 --> 00:18:03,649 by claiming that other members of Congress 411 00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,951 had done cocaine in front of him 412 00:18:06,051 --> 00:18:08,687 and invited him to orgies. 413 00:18:08,787 --> 00:18:11,423 Which, first of all, snitch. 414 00:18:11,456 --> 00:18:13,859 (laughter) 415 00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:16,762 And second of all, the whole thing was a lie. 416 00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:18,130 Of course it's not true. 417 00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:19,898 These people are in Congress. 418 00:18:19,998 --> 00:18:21,133 They're not throwing an orgy. 419 00:18:21,233 --> 00:18:22,534 That's way too complicated for them. 420 00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:24,903 They'd have to secure funding for the sex toys first. 421 00:18:25,003 --> 00:18:26,705 They'd have to agree on a time and location. 422 00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:28,006 They'd have a committee to debate 423 00:18:28,106 --> 00:18:29,575 about the rules. Is kissing allowed? 424 00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:31,543 Can you do butt stuff? And then at the last minute, 425 00:18:31,643 --> 00:18:33,078 Joe Manchin would show up and object, 426 00:18:33,178 --> 00:18:34,913 and everyone would have to put their dicks back in their pants. 427 00:18:35,013 --> 00:18:37,783 -(groans) -(laughter) 428 00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:39,785 (cheering and applause) 429 00:18:39,885 --> 00:18:42,788 But those coke orgy stories, 430 00:18:42,888 --> 00:18:44,056 that's in the distant past. 431 00:18:44,156 --> 00:18:45,591 That happened way, way... 432 00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:46,825 That was, like, three weeks ago. 433 00:18:46,925 --> 00:18:48,961 Nobody's even talking about that anymore 434 00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:51,263 because Cawthorn is getting into new trouble 435 00:18:51,396 --> 00:18:53,065 every damn day, 436 00:18:53,165 --> 00:18:56,268 starting with some really bad driving. 437 00:18:56,401 --> 00:18:57,402 NEWSWOMAN: Newly released video 438 00:18:57,503 --> 00:18:59,204 shows Congressman Madison Cawthorn 439 00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:00,739 getting his license revoked 440 00:19:00,839 --> 00:19:03,308 during a traffic stop in Cleveland County. 441 00:19:03,408 --> 00:19:04,476 NEWSMAN: The traffic stop came 442 00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:06,411 after the truck crossed the center line. 443 00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:09,781 As the trooper approaches, Cawthorn's informed 444 00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:12,551 that his license plate tag is expired. 445 00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:14,486 The trooper discovered Cawthorn's driver's license 446 00:19:14,586 --> 00:19:18,090 had been revoked due to an out-of-state ticket. 447 00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:21,393 Yeah. First, Madison Cawthorn was pulled over for swerving. 448 00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:24,096 Then the cops found out that he had an expired license plate. 449 00:19:24,196 --> 00:19:25,931 And then he was busted 450 00:19:26,031 --> 00:19:28,066 for having a revoked driver's license. 451 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:31,003 I mean, those are Hall of Fame numbers right there. 452 00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:33,372 I don't even think O.J. broke that many laws 453 00:19:33,472 --> 00:19:35,174 during his cop chase. 454 00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:37,743 And what's crazy, what's crazy is that this is the second time 455 00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:41,280 that he's been busted for driving with a revoked license. 456 00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:43,382 At this point, he's probably the only member of Congress 457 00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:46,385 who might show up to work with an I.D. that says "McLovin." 458 00:19:46,485 --> 00:19:48,620 He's like, "That's me. That's real." 459 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,224 But if I'm honest, I can-- I can see why. 460 00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:54,660 Of course he's got to drive with a revoked license. 461 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,528 Do you know how embarrassing it must be 462 00:19:56,628 --> 00:19:58,263 when he needs to ask his mom 463 00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:00,833 to drive him to the orgy? 464 00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,201 You know? It's just like, "Mom! 465 00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:04,536 "Don't drop me off in front of the mansion. 466 00:20:04,636 --> 00:20:05,737 Just leave me at the corner." 467 00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:07,206 She's like, "Okay, love you! 468 00:20:07,306 --> 00:20:10,442 Make sure you have enough cocaine for everybody!" 469 00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:13,645 So, yes, Madison Cawthorn is not allowed 470 00:20:13,745 --> 00:20:15,414 to drive himself anywhere right now. 471 00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:17,416 But before you think 472 00:20:17,483 --> 00:20:18,884 of giving him a lift to the airport, 473 00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:20,419 you might want to be careful 474 00:20:20,452 --> 00:20:22,354 when you're throwing his bags in the trunk. 475 00:20:22,421 --> 00:20:25,591 U.S. Republican Congressman Madison Cawthorn 476 00:20:25,691 --> 00:20:27,526 was cited by police on Tuesday 477 00:20:27,626 --> 00:20:30,996 after they found a loaded handgun in his bag 478 00:20:31,096 --> 00:20:32,831 at a North Carolina airport. 479 00:20:32,931 --> 00:20:36,568 TSA agents found a 9mm handgun 480 00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:39,805 when Cawthorn passed through a security checkpoint. 481 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:41,974 Police say he was cooperative 482 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,409 and cited for possession of a dangerous weapon 483 00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:46,111 on city property. 484 00:20:46,211 --> 00:20:48,947 It is the second time in just over a year 485 00:20:49,047 --> 00:20:51,150 the young congressman has been stopped 486 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,152 for carrying a gun at an airport. 487 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,687 Ah! Before you judge, before you judge, 488 00:20:55,787 --> 00:20:58,157 who hasn't made this mistake, huh? 489 00:20:58,257 --> 00:20:59,791 The Uber's waiting outside. 490 00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:01,393 You're trying to pack your bags real quick. 491 00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:03,028 You throw in your cologne, your underwear, 492 00:21:03,128 --> 00:21:05,297 your AK-47. Aah! What am I doing?! 493 00:21:05,397 --> 00:21:07,866 You can't take cologne on a plane! 494 00:21:09,501 --> 00:21:11,570 The craziest part about this story is that's the second time 495 00:21:11,670 --> 00:21:14,973 he got caught trying to bring a gun onto a plane in a year. 496 00:21:15,073 --> 00:21:17,442 I get if you made this mays-- mistake, like, 15 years ago. 497 00:21:17,543 --> 00:21:18,810 But twice in one year? 498 00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:21,346 Why are you so invested in getting a gun on a plane? 499 00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:24,349 Huh? How intense is the battle for your armrest, my man? 500 00:21:24,383 --> 00:21:25,717 What are you doing? 501 00:21:27,252 --> 00:21:29,254 And before you ask, yes, 502 00:21:29,354 --> 00:21:30,789 the congressman was punished. 503 00:21:30,889 --> 00:21:32,925 He was given a citation. 504 00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:34,393 Which I know sounds like something they give you 505 00:21:34,493 --> 00:21:36,195 for having the biggest watermelon at the country fair. 506 00:21:36,361 --> 00:21:38,263 But this, this will hurt him. 507 00:21:38,363 --> 00:21:40,933 His life will... be the same. 508 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,468 You know, in a way, I respect him. 509 00:21:43,569 --> 00:21:45,404 A lot of Republicans talk about being pro-police, 510 00:21:45,504 --> 00:21:47,039 but he's the only one out here 511 00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:49,842 personally keeping all of these police departments in business. 512 00:21:49,942 --> 00:21:52,044 I respect that. 513 00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:54,580 So, Cawthorn got caught driving without a license, 514 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,516 and then he got caught trying to bring weapons onto a plane. 515 00:21:57,616 --> 00:21:59,184 And most people would take a breather after that 516 00:21:59,284 --> 00:22:01,019 but not Madison Cawthorn, no. 517 00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:04,156 Because the same day the news broke about the gun, 518 00:22:04,256 --> 00:22:05,757 he was accused of taking part 519 00:22:05,858 --> 00:22:08,727 in a cryptocurrency insider trading scheme. 520 00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:10,195 Yeah, I know. 521 00:22:10,295 --> 00:22:12,664 I was also shocked to hear that this guy was into crypto. 522 00:22:12,764 --> 00:22:14,266 Who would have thought? 523 00:22:15,567 --> 00:22:17,970 So now we got suspended licenses, guns at airports, 524 00:22:18,070 --> 00:22:19,037 possible insider trading-- 525 00:22:19,137 --> 00:22:20,906 basically three stars on GTA. 526 00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:24,109 And... guess what, my friends. 527 00:22:24,209 --> 00:22:25,911 Madison Cawthorn even has scandals 528 00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:28,547 that expose his character as a scam. 529 00:22:28,647 --> 00:22:30,616 And in order to understand this next scandal properly, 530 00:22:30,716 --> 00:22:33,719 first, you need to know that Madison Cawthorn 531 00:22:33,819 --> 00:22:36,221 has been saying certain things on the campaign trail 532 00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:39,925 about what it means to be a man. 533 00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:41,493 Our culture today is trying 534 00:22:41,593 --> 00:22:44,363 to completely demasculate all 535 00:22:44,429 --> 00:22:45,664 of the young men in our culture. 536 00:22:45,764 --> 00:22:47,833 We have bred a generation of soft men, 537 00:22:47,933 --> 00:22:50,736 and that generation has created a lot of problems 538 00:22:50,836 --> 00:22:52,171 in our society and our culture. 539 00:22:52,271 --> 00:22:55,407 If you want me to sit here and call a man a woman, 540 00:22:55,507 --> 00:22:57,976 you are asking me to buy into this lie. 541 00:22:58,076 --> 00:22:59,678 And I'll say "No" to that. 542 00:22:59,778 --> 00:23:02,281 Your left-wing movement is forcing children 543 00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:04,550 to endure radical expressions of sexuality, 544 00:23:04,650 --> 00:23:07,553 and I never imagined that one of my sacred duties 545 00:23:07,653 --> 00:23:08,887 in this hallowed chamber 546 00:23:08,987 --> 00:23:10,422 would be explaining to the House speaker 547 00:23:10,522 --> 00:23:12,024 the difference between a man and woman. 548 00:23:12,124 --> 00:23:13,759 You'll never amend biology. 549 00:23:13,859 --> 00:23:15,394 Science is not Burger King. 550 00:23:15,494 --> 00:23:17,262 You can't just have it your way. 551 00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:19,264 (laughter) 552 00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:22,835 That's an interesting way to put it. 553 00:23:22,935 --> 00:23:25,137 I like how Cawthorn is working some product placement 554 00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:27,072 into his floor speeches. 555 00:23:27,172 --> 00:23:28,507 Gender is simple. 556 00:23:28,607 --> 00:23:31,076 Men are like Arby's. We have the meat. 557 00:23:31,176 --> 00:23:33,445 (laughter) 558 00:23:33,545 --> 00:23:35,681 (applause) 559 00:23:35,781 --> 00:23:39,818 But, yes, Madison Cawthorn has been talking a big game 560 00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:42,788 about defending traditional conservative notions 561 00:23:42,888 --> 00:23:45,691 of masculinity and gender, selling himself 562 00:23:45,791 --> 00:23:50,229 as the icon of traditional Christian manhood, 563 00:23:50,362 --> 00:23:52,030 which this country has lost. 564 00:23:52,130 --> 00:23:54,433 So you can imagine how awkward it was for him 565 00:23:54,533 --> 00:23:56,635 to try and explain this. 566 00:23:56,735 --> 00:23:59,037 New tonight-- North Carolina congressman Madison Cawthorn 567 00:23:59,137 --> 00:24:01,206 responding to photos circulating online 568 00:24:01,373 --> 00:24:03,208 that show him wearing women's lingerie. 569 00:24:03,375 --> 00:24:06,245 Cawthorn said on Twitter that these images were first reported 570 00:24:06,378 --> 00:24:10,015 by Politico and came from a game he played during a cruise. 571 00:24:10,115 --> 00:24:12,551 The North Carolina congressman says the photos were taken 572 00:24:12,651 --> 00:24:14,286 long before he ran for office. 573 00:24:14,386 --> 00:24:16,555 -Well, well, well. -(laughter) 574 00:24:16,655 --> 00:24:18,524 Check out Madison over here. 575 00:24:18,624 --> 00:24:19,825 What game were you playing? 576 00:24:19,925 --> 00:24:21,460 "I'm going to put on this lingerie 577 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,795 and look good doing it." Huh? 578 00:24:23,896 --> 00:24:26,231 You said you were a good Christian soldier. 579 00:24:26,331 --> 00:24:29,768 Looks more like a good Christian Louboutin soldier, huh? 580 00:24:29,868 --> 00:24:31,670 Now, I want to be clear. I want to be clear. 581 00:24:31,770 --> 00:24:34,173 A man wearing lingerie isn't a scandal. 582 00:24:34,339 --> 00:24:36,542 Right? It isn't a scandal in any way. 583 00:24:36,642 --> 00:24:38,210 Men can wear whatever they want to wear. 584 00:24:38,343 --> 00:24:40,579 But this particular man-- he spends a lot of time 585 00:24:40,679 --> 00:24:43,015 attacking other people for how they dress, 586 00:24:43,115 --> 00:24:46,084 how they identify, and what their values are. 587 00:24:46,185 --> 00:24:49,521 All I'm saying is, the next time gender issues come up again, 588 00:24:49,621 --> 00:24:52,357 this dude better not get his panties in a bunch. 589 00:24:52,457 --> 00:24:54,626 -That's all I'm saying, you know? -(laughter) 590 00:24:54,726 --> 00:24:56,728 So that's what Madison Cawthorn has been up to 591 00:24:56,829 --> 00:24:58,964 for the past month. 592 00:24:59,064 --> 00:25:00,632 Yeah. And nobody knows 593 00:25:00,732 --> 00:25:02,367 if any of these scandals will end up hurting Cawthorn 594 00:25:02,467 --> 00:25:05,070 in the upcoming election, but what we do know is, 595 00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:06,738 his mom's definitely going to need 596 00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:08,674 to drop him off on Election Day. 597 00:25:08,774 --> 00:25:11,009 All right, stay tuned, because we're going to be joined 598 00:25:11,109 --> 00:25:12,578 by Drive to Survive star, 599 00:25:12,678 --> 00:25:16,782 Formula One superstar Daniel Ricciardo right after this. 600 00:25:16,882 --> 00:25:18,917 (applause and cheering) 601 00:25:27,926 --> 00:25:29,828 (cheering and applause) 602 00:25:29,928 --> 00:25:32,697 Welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight 603 00:25:32,797 --> 00:25:34,732 is Formula One driver Daniel Ricciardo. 604 00:25:34,833 --> 00:25:36,901 He's here to talk about racing for McLaren 605 00:25:37,001 --> 00:25:39,337 at the upcoming Miami Grand Prix. 606 00:25:39,437 --> 00:25:41,306 Please welcome Daniel Ricciardo! 607 00:25:41,406 --> 00:25:43,441 -♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause) 608 00:25:57,088 --> 00:25:59,457 Daniel Ricciardo, welcome back to The Daily Show. 609 00:25:59,557 --> 00:26:02,026 -Thanks. Been a while. -(laughs) 610 00:26:02,127 --> 00:26:03,661 You know, this is how long it's been 611 00:26:03,761 --> 00:26:05,230 and how much has changed, but... 612 00:26:05,330 --> 00:26:07,732 Are you... Are you mesmerized by the... 613 00:26:07,832 --> 00:26:09,868 -Yes. (chuckles) -(cheering and applause) 614 00:26:11,603 --> 00:26:13,872 It's-it's getting bigger. 615 00:26:13,972 --> 00:26:15,306 -Yeah, it's a nice feeling, right? -Yeah. 616 00:26:15,406 --> 00:26:17,308 Yeah, it's cool. Thanks. (chuckles) 617 00:26:17,408 --> 00:26:18,610 -(cheering and applause) -Let's... 618 00:26:18,710 --> 00:26:20,078 Let's talk about a few things here. 619 00:26:20,178 --> 00:26:22,046 Let's talk about a few things. Like, um, number one... 620 00:26:22,147 --> 00:26:24,382 Oh, wait, sorry. Let me... Let me make you comfortable. 621 00:26:24,482 --> 00:26:27,018 I... This is the water, but you don't need water. Here. 622 00:26:27,085 --> 00:26:29,721 Sorry. I don't even know why I didn't change this earlier. 623 00:26:29,821 --> 00:26:32,257 -We can... We can do this. Here. -(laughs) 624 00:26:32,357 --> 00:26:33,725 Got you. 625 00:26:33,825 --> 00:26:35,794 Just make things a little more comfortable for you. 626 00:26:35,894 --> 00:26:37,295 -(cheering and applause) -You know? 627 00:26:37,395 --> 00:26:39,030 So we can... 628 00:26:39,097 --> 00:26:40,565 So we can... You know what I mean? 629 00:26:40,665 --> 00:26:42,467 Just make the interview a little more comfortable. 630 00:26:42,567 --> 00:26:43,935 -You're very well-prepared. -Well, we want... 631 00:26:44,035 --> 00:26:45,436 You know what I mean? We want to make sure 632 00:26:45,537 --> 00:26:47,038 everyone's drinking what they normally drink. 633 00:26:47,071 --> 00:26:48,540 Um, here we go. 634 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:50,074 RICCIARDO: Anyone who doesn't know is like, 635 00:26:50,175 --> 00:26:51,810 "What the hell are they doing right now?" 636 00:26:51,910 --> 00:26:53,444 So, so, do you want to explain it? 637 00:26:53,545 --> 00:26:55,113 Or I can. I can. Which... What do you want? 638 00:26:55,213 --> 00:26:56,681 Go on. Go for it. 639 00:26:56,781 --> 00:26:59,050 So, um, Daniel Ricciardo, 640 00:26:59,083 --> 00:27:01,052 one of the best racing drivers in the world, 641 00:27:01,085 --> 00:27:04,923 um, has a tradition, um, where when he wins... 642 00:27:05,056 --> 00:27:06,291 Th-There's champagne. 643 00:27:06,391 --> 00:27:07,425 You've probably seen it at the races. 644 00:27:07,525 --> 00:27:08,460 And they pop the champagne. 645 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:09,961 But, um, this man-- 646 00:27:10,061 --> 00:27:11,629 I guess maybe 'cause you're Australian-- 647 00:27:11,729 --> 00:27:14,432 decided not to drink the champagne out of the bottle 648 00:27:14,532 --> 00:27:16,167 but out of a shoe. 649 00:27:16,267 --> 00:27:17,535 -That's not... -RICCIARDO: The shoe I race in 650 00:27:17,635 --> 00:27:19,404 -that's very sweaty. -NOAH: Yes. Yeah. 651 00:27:19,504 --> 00:27:21,272 -Yeah. -I mean, it's all the flavor of the victory, 652 00:27:21,372 --> 00:27:22,941 -you know what I mean? That's what they say. -It is. 653 00:27:23,074 --> 00:27:24,909 -The taste of victory. (laughs) -Success. 654 00:27:25,076 --> 00:27:27,345 And, so, now it's affectionately known as a shoey. 655 00:27:27,445 --> 00:27:28,680 -So, uh, cheers, my friend. Yeah. -Yeah. 656 00:27:28,780 --> 00:27:32,183 I mean, I normally don't do this unless I've won, but hey. 657 00:27:32,283 --> 00:27:33,451 You've won by being here, 658 00:27:33,551 --> 00:27:34,919 -you know what I mean? -Yeah, let's do it. 659 00:27:35,019 --> 00:27:37,055 (cheering and applause) 660 00:27:38,590 --> 00:27:39,891 NOAH: Mmm. 661 00:27:42,861 --> 00:27:45,563 Oh, that's good. That's good. 662 00:27:46,931 --> 00:27:48,066 -That's good. -Mmm. 663 00:27:48,166 --> 00:27:50,068 -I-I just raced in those this weekend. -Oh, good. 664 00:27:50,168 --> 00:27:53,371 Yeah. (laughs) 665 00:27:53,471 --> 00:27:54,639 Let's talk about everything, man. 666 00:27:54,739 --> 00:27:56,074 The first time you were on the show, 667 00:27:56,174 --> 00:28:00,044 I had to explain to some people what Formula One is, 668 00:28:00,111 --> 00:28:03,214 and now you are easily one of the biggest stars in Amer... 669 00:28:03,314 --> 00:28:04,516 Like, can you walk through the street 670 00:28:04,616 --> 00:28:06,050 -without people recognizing you? -(glass clinks) 671 00:28:06,151 --> 00:28:07,919 Uh, watch the bottle. 672 00:28:08,052 --> 00:28:09,854 (laughter) 673 00:28:09,954 --> 00:28:12,590 Um... (chuckles) it's-it's grown a lot. 674 00:28:12,690 --> 00:28:14,793 Like, it-it really has, um... 675 00:28:14,893 --> 00:28:16,561 -I think, since, yeah, Drive to Survive... -Yeah. 676 00:28:16,661 --> 00:28:20,098 ...and that's-that's had, uh, four seasons now? 677 00:28:20,198 --> 00:28:21,566 -I think so. -Three or four? Four, maybe? 678 00:28:21,666 --> 00:28:24,068 It's, uh... Yeah, every time we get to the States, 679 00:28:24,102 --> 00:28:26,237 it's getting more and more, and people are... 680 00:28:26,337 --> 00:28:29,440 yeah, kind of spotting me and saying "What's up?" 681 00:28:29,541 --> 00:28:31,509 -and wishing me luck, so it's cool. -People are wearing masks 682 00:28:31,609 --> 00:28:33,011 of your face. That's how pop-- 683 00:28:33,044 --> 00:28:34,612 Your-your smile is iconic. 684 00:28:34,712 --> 00:28:36,281 Your joy is iconic. 685 00:28:36,381 --> 00:28:38,416 There are many people who watch Drive to Survive, 686 00:28:38,516 --> 00:28:40,084 and they're just like, "This is the most dramatic sport 687 00:28:40,185 --> 00:28:41,586 I've ever watched." You guys, like-- 688 00:28:41,686 --> 00:28:44,055 You try kill each other. You crash into each other. 689 00:28:44,155 --> 00:28:46,558 -I'm not laughing. -Max Verstappen famously... (laughs) 690 00:28:46,658 --> 00:28:48,293 Max Verstappen famously has said, "I don't want to be 691 00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:51,930 "on the show, 'cause it makes Formula One seem more dramatic 692 00:28:52,030 --> 00:28:53,865 than it actually is." Where do you stand? 693 00:28:54,032 --> 00:28:56,634 Like, how much drama is in the sport? 694 00:28:56,734 --> 00:28:58,503 There's certainly a lot in the sport. 695 00:28:58,603 --> 00:29:00,038 -(chuckles) -And there's... There-There's ri-- 696 00:29:00,138 --> 00:29:01,639 There are, you know, true rivalries 697 00:29:01,739 --> 00:29:03,475 and-and all that stuff. Um... 698 00:29:03,575 --> 00:29:05,877 You know, so I think with the-the show on Netflix, 699 00:29:06,044 --> 00:29:07,412 Drive to Survive, it's... 700 00:29:07,512 --> 00:29:10,081 I would say they-they, like, sprinkle a little bit on top. 701 00:29:10,181 --> 00:29:13,117 -Uh-huh. -But it's already, like, drama-filled. 702 00:29:13,218 --> 00:29:14,452 But then they'll... 703 00:29:14,552 --> 00:29:16,187 they'll just nudge it along and... (clicks tongue) 704 00:29:16,287 --> 00:29:18,056 little bit of "hey, how are you" on top, you know? 705 00:29:18,122 --> 00:29:21,192 -(chuckles) -I want to know how you stay being 706 00:29:21,292 --> 00:29:22,660 one of the friendliest drivers, 707 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:24,162 not just, like, smiling with the fans. 708 00:29:24,262 --> 00:29:26,564 You know-- So, for instance, you recently had a crash, right? 709 00:29:26,664 --> 00:29:28,099 -Mm. Yeah. -With Carlos Sainz. 710 00:29:28,199 --> 00:29:30,101 But you went up to him afterwards, you apologized. 711 00:29:30,201 --> 00:29:32,570 Do you-- do you think, like, there's something in you 712 00:29:32,670 --> 00:29:34,305 that makes you go, "I know we're competing, 713 00:29:34,405 --> 00:29:36,040 but, you know, we all want to get along"? 714 00:29:36,141 --> 00:29:38,710 -What-what is that? -I hated every second of the apology. 715 00:29:38,810 --> 00:29:41,012 (laughing) 716 00:29:41,079 --> 00:29:43,448 (clapping) 717 00:29:43,548 --> 00:29:44,916 It's... (chuckles) 718 00:29:45,016 --> 00:29:47,619 Yeah, again, I think probably just with, like, experience 719 00:29:47,719 --> 00:29:50,488 and just being in it for so long, like, I know... 720 00:29:50,588 --> 00:29:52,590 I have the, I guess, maturity now 721 00:29:52,690 --> 00:29:55,293 -to know, like, how much we all put into it. -Yeah. 722 00:29:55,393 --> 00:29:57,428 And as competitive as we are, 723 00:29:57,529 --> 00:29:59,464 we all have something, you know, strongly in common, 724 00:29:59,564 --> 00:30:01,900 and there's only 20 of us in the world that do it. 725 00:30:02,033 --> 00:30:04,202 There's only 20 F1 drivers, so it's... 726 00:30:04,302 --> 00:30:06,571 You know, you-you kind of just respect everyone's journey. 727 00:30:06,671 --> 00:30:08,573 And so, like, the incident, you know, 728 00:30:08,673 --> 00:30:10,275 like, if I hold myself accountable for something, 729 00:30:10,375 --> 00:30:12,343 then, yeah, I feel like I want to, 730 00:30:12,443 --> 00:30:14,746 yeah, just apologize and, um... 731 00:30:14,846 --> 00:30:17,448 It's-it's nothing personal, you know what I mean? So... 732 00:30:17,549 --> 00:30:18,817 I don't think everyone would do it, 733 00:30:18,917 --> 00:30:20,885 but, for me, I just felt better by doing it. 734 00:30:21,052 --> 00:30:22,387 -Yeah. -So we kind of, like... 735 00:30:22,487 --> 00:30:24,122 Clean-clean slate for the next one. 736 00:30:24,222 --> 00:30:25,690 And I know that when we come, like, 737 00:30:25,790 --> 00:30:28,159 -alongside each other on track next, like, there's no... -Yes. 738 00:30:28,259 --> 00:30:30,028 -there's no intensity that's... -Got it, got it, got it. 739 00:30:30,128 --> 00:30:31,830 There'll be an intensity but nothing, um, 740 00:30:31,996 --> 00:30:32,997 heightened, I guess. 741 00:30:33,064 --> 00:30:35,467 The next race is Miami, 742 00:30:35,567 --> 00:30:36,901 for the first time ever, 743 00:30:37,001 --> 00:30:39,671 which means no one has raced on the track. 744 00:30:39,771 --> 00:30:41,105 -Mm-hmm. -That's always strange for drivers, 745 00:30:41,206 --> 00:30:42,640 'cause you guys visualize the track. 746 00:30:42,740 --> 00:30:43,842 You remember what it was like. 747 00:30:44,008 --> 00:30:45,543 You know the surface, the whole-- 748 00:30:45,643 --> 00:30:48,346 Like, how much harder is it to race on a track 749 00:30:48,446 --> 00:30:50,448 that you've never raced on than one that you've been on before? 750 00:30:50,548 --> 00:30:51,783 Is it like-- Is-is it a big jump 751 00:30:51,883 --> 00:30:53,751 or is it-- you guys are like, "Ah, no, whatever"? 752 00:30:53,852 --> 00:30:56,087 -It's a challenge. Like, you... -Yeah? 753 00:30:56,187 --> 00:30:58,556 There's-there's some circuits now that we know... 754 00:30:58,656 --> 00:31:00,525 l-literally, I could drive it in my head. 755 00:31:00,625 --> 00:31:01,826 And if you got, like, a stopwatch, 756 00:31:01,926 --> 00:31:04,529 I would be able to visualize within probably a second 757 00:31:04,629 --> 00:31:06,331 -of what it is. -And you hit the times? 758 00:31:06,431 --> 00:31:07,932 -Close enough, yeah. -Like, that, to me, 759 00:31:08,032 --> 00:31:09,767 when I think, if you time me going to the fridge 760 00:31:09,868 --> 00:31:11,236 -to get ice cream... -Yeah. 761 00:31:11,336 --> 00:31:13,037 In my head, I can do it. I can go, "All right." 762 00:31:13,104 --> 00:31:14,305 Then I'm getting up, going to the couch, 763 00:31:14,405 --> 00:31:15,840 uh-huh, go to the fridge, 764 00:31:15,940 --> 00:31:17,408 act like I'm going to get the baby carrots. Then I don't. 765 00:31:17,509 --> 00:31:19,110 Close the thing, get the thing, the ice cream. 766 00:31:19,210 --> 00:31:21,045 And then I'm like, "Ah, ah." Then I'm embarrassed. 767 00:31:21,146 --> 00:31:22,480 Then I take more. Then I'm ashamed. 768 00:31:22,580 --> 00:31:24,048 -Then I'm like, "I may as well finish it." -That was... 769 00:31:24,115 --> 00:31:26,151 Then, ah, put it back. Then I'm like, "It's not finished." 770 00:31:26,251 --> 00:31:27,552 Then I have that. Then I'm like, "Is there another one?" 771 00:31:27,652 --> 00:31:29,220 Then I go, "No, two. Enough's enough." 772 00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:30,788 Self-control. Close the fridge. 773 00:31:30,889 --> 00:31:32,991 -That's pretty much me visualizing... -That was good. 774 00:31:33,091 --> 00:31:35,093 -That was good. -It's pretty much... I know what you mean. 775 00:31:35,193 --> 00:31:37,028 -It's, like, uh, you know? -(applause) 776 00:31:37,128 --> 00:31:38,463 -You visualize. -That was... 777 00:31:38,563 --> 00:31:39,864 But you can't... you can't do that in Miam... 778 00:31:39,998 --> 00:31:41,199 Are you even going to be able to concentrate in Miami? 779 00:31:41,299 --> 00:31:42,734 -Miami's a party. -Yeah. 780 00:31:42,834 --> 00:31:45,503 It's a full-on, non-stop party. 781 00:31:45,603 --> 00:31:47,372 -Mm-hmm. -And you guys are going to be all... 782 00:31:47,472 --> 00:31:51,142 Yeah, it's-it's... No, I don't want to say it's tough. 783 00:31:51,242 --> 00:31:53,511 But for sure, um, when you... when you compete 784 00:31:53,611 --> 00:31:55,013 -in, like, a big city... -Yeah. 785 00:31:55,113 --> 00:31:57,482 'Cause some circuits are in the middle of nowhere, you know. 786 00:31:57,582 --> 00:32:00,185 'Um, 'cause you need a lot of space to build a circuit. 787 00:32:00,285 --> 00:32:01,653 -Right. -So some are out in... 788 00:32:01,753 --> 00:32:03,154 kind of like in fields somewhere. 789 00:32:03,254 --> 00:32:06,024 Um, but, you know, Miami's going to be... 790 00:32:06,090 --> 00:32:07,892 -It's going to be around Hard Rock Stadium... -Right. 791 00:32:08,026 --> 00:32:09,294 -I believe it's called. -Yeah. 792 00:32:09,394 --> 00:32:11,329 And, uh, yeah, it's going to be nuts. 793 00:32:11,429 --> 00:32:13,598 But, um, so we'll do... There's, like, simulators. 794 00:32:13,698 --> 00:32:15,633 -Uh-huh. -So each team has a simulator. 795 00:32:15,733 --> 00:32:17,869 Um, like, a very high-tech, sophisticated one. 796 00:32:18,036 --> 00:32:22,207 So I was on that on Tuesday and trying to just learn 797 00:32:22,307 --> 00:32:24,342 at least where the track is and how it goes. 798 00:32:24,442 --> 00:32:27,412 But it's really into when you get on track and practice. 799 00:32:27,512 --> 00:32:29,714 That's where it's time to learn it as quick as you can. 800 00:32:29,814 --> 00:32:32,250 And getting to a new circuit, you kind of... 801 00:32:32,350 --> 00:32:34,719 gives you a chance to maybe catch on to something 802 00:32:34,819 --> 00:32:36,087 a little quicker than someone else. 803 00:32:36,187 --> 00:32:38,857 So it can maybe, like, create a bigger separation 804 00:32:38,990 --> 00:32:40,258 for the ones that, like, click 805 00:32:40,358 --> 00:32:41,693 and maybe the ones that struggle a bit more. 806 00:32:41,793 --> 00:32:43,995 Before I let you go, when you look forward to races, 807 00:32:44,028 --> 00:32:45,997 what are the ones where you think, "Man, I cannot wait 808 00:32:46,030 --> 00:32:47,699 to get back on that racetrack"? 809 00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:49,234 And you can't say Australia. That's obviously number one. 810 00:32:49,334 --> 00:32:50,602 -Yes, so... -So, that's home. 811 00:32:50,702 --> 00:32:53,138 -Yeah. -Pick another one. -(laughter) 812 00:32:53,238 --> 00:32:57,709 Uh, and I'm not just saying this 'cause we're on American soil, 813 00:32:57,809 --> 00:33:00,612 -but Austin. Like, I get so excited for Austin. -Really? 814 00:33:00,712 --> 00:33:02,147 -Yeah. -Why? 815 00:33:02,247 --> 00:33:06,117 Uh, I swear I have some, like, some DNA, 816 00:33:06,217 --> 00:33:09,120 like, Texan DNA in me or something. I don't know. 817 00:33:09,220 --> 00:33:11,122 -(laughter, applause) -I love it. 818 00:33:11,222 --> 00:33:14,125 Oh, man! Dude, thank you so much for being on the show again. 819 00:33:14,225 --> 00:33:17,262 -Cheers. Thank you. -Good luck for the rest of the season. 820 00:33:17,362 --> 00:33:19,597 Enjoy it. Be sure to watch Daniel compete 821 00:33:19,697 --> 00:33:21,666 in the Formula One Miami Grand Prix on May 8. 822 00:33:21,766 --> 00:33:23,234 We're gonna take a quick break, 823 00:33:23,334 --> 00:33:25,637 but we'll be right back after this. 824 00:33:25,737 --> 00:33:28,006 -Thank you, dude, for real. -(cheers and applause) 825 00:33:33,444 --> 00:33:34,711 -(cheers and applause) -Well, that's our show for tonight, 826 00:33:34,812 --> 00:33:36,680 but before we go, I just wanted to remind you 827 00:33:36,780 --> 00:33:38,916 that nearly 4,000 homes have been destroyed, 828 00:33:39,016 --> 00:33:42,019 and more than 40,000 people have been displaced 829 00:33:42,119 --> 00:33:44,521 by the floods and mudslides in South Africa. 830 00:33:44,621 --> 00:33:46,824 Now, Gift of the Givers is a South African-based 831 00:33:46,924 --> 00:33:48,725 disaster relief organization on the ground 832 00:33:48,826 --> 00:33:50,561 helping those who have been affected by the floods. 833 00:33:50,661 --> 00:33:52,663 So, if you can help them in their work 834 00:33:52,763 --> 00:33:55,933 to act fast and save lives, then please donate at the link below. 835 00:33:56,033 --> 00:33:58,035 Until tomorrow, stay safe out there. 836 00:33:58,135 --> 00:34:04,074 And remember: if you see fruit anywhere, run. 837 00:34:04,174 --> 00:34:06,510 Now here it is-- Your Moment of Zen. 838 00:34:06,610 --> 00:34:09,179 ♪ ♪ 839 00:34:09,279 --> 00:34:12,249 Did you listen to the McCarthy audio that was released? 840 00:34:12,349 --> 00:34:14,952 -Sure I did. -And what was your response as an American? 841 00:34:15,052 --> 00:34:16,487 -(air whipping) -My response that, well, that... 842 00:34:16,587 --> 00:34:17,955 that it was edited. 843 00:34:18,055 --> 00:34:20,624 You see, I know the art of editing. 844 00:34:20,724 --> 00:34:22,059 -So I don't... I... -You think he didn't say that? 845 00:34:22,159 --> 00:34:25,696 I'm not sure. I'm not sure in what context. 846 00:34:25,796 --> 00:34:28,632 But what I'm saying to you is that it's not a matter of trying 847 00:34:28,732 --> 00:34:31,401 to find out it happened, or what he said. 848 00:34:31,502 --> 00:34:33,003 -It's the whole story. -Right. 849 00:34:33,103 --> 00:34:35,105 Don't you guys see it, what you guys are doing? 850 00:34:35,205 --> 00:34:36,473 We asked the Dems the same question. 851 00:34:36,573 --> 00:34:38,809 You know, it's, like, history will judge 852 00:34:38,909 --> 00:34:41,879 the news organizations 100 years from now, 853 00:34:42,012 --> 00:34:44,114 and we'll say, "We're not doing our job." 854 00:34:44,214 --> 00:34:45,616 I'm not saying to cover this. 855 00:34:45,716 --> 00:34:47,885 -I'm saying to cover everything. -Have you talked...?