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♪ ♪
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ANNOUNCER: Coming to you
from New York City,
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the only city in America,
it's The Daily Show.
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Tonight:
the queen's throwing a rager.
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The door-control debate.
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And Sergiy Kyslytsya.
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This is The Daily Show
with Trevor Noah.
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♪ ♪
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(cheering, applause)
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What's going on, everybody?
Welcome to The Daily Show.
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I'm Trevor Noah.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
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Thank you for
coming out in person.
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(cheering continuing)
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Thank you so much,
thank you so much.
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Take a seat.
Let's do this, everybody.
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Welcome to the show.
We've got a really,
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really fun episode
for you tonight.
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The midterm elections have
already been decided-- surprise.
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America's fish are doing drugs,
and Her Majesty the Queen
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is celebrating 70 years
as the world's
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most beloved unelected dictator.
So let's do this, people.
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Let's jump straight into
today's headlines.
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-♪ ♪
-(cheering, applause)
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All right, everybody, as you
may know and as you should know,
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today was a very special day
for the queen.
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And, no, I'm not
talking about Beyoncé.
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I'm talking about
the original queen--
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the crown-wearing,
Range-Rover-driving 96-year-old
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five-foot giant
whose face has been on money
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longer than any of us losers
have even been alive.
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-Long live the queen!
-(cheering, applause)
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I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
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Every one of us
from the colonies,
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we just get so excited
when we talk about the queen.
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Yeah. They whipped it into us
when we were kids.
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It's not my fault.
Where was I? Oh, yes, yes.
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Queen Elizabeth II has now
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officially been on the throne
for 70 years,
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which means it's time
to throw a little party.
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NEWSWOMAN: Four days of parades
and pageantry underway
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in London this morning
to celebrate the historic
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70-year reign
of Queen Elizabeth.
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Hundreds of thousands gathering
outside of Buckingham Palace.
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(cheering)
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Tens of millions
watching around the world,
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an event filled with
royal tradition and ceremony.
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NEWSMAN:
1,500 troops, 350 horses,
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this pageantry
is the envy of the world.
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At Stonehenge, they have been
showing pictures of the queen
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from different decades.
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NEWSMAN 2: The jubilee's
official dessert:
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a seven-layer lemon trifle
in honor of the queen's
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seven decades of service.
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The queen has gi-has given us
her life, really.
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I love her. She's beautiful.
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-(people whooping)
-God save the queen!
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The incredible composure
of the queen herself,
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standing on that balcony.
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Just how glamorous Kate looked.
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I mean, she is becoming an icon.
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And, uh, then little
Prince Louis, who looked,
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frankly, bored and a little
unimpressed by the whole thing.
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Yeah, of course he's bored.
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Don't forget,
he's a prince, okay?
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So, to him, she's not the
queen of England in her palace.
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She's just Granny in her house
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with the grandma smell,
all right?
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It doesn't matter
what the spectacle is,
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at the end of the day,
he is still a little kid
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at a family party. If you
want to hold his interest,
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you know what you got to do? You
got to give him an iPad. Yeah.
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That's what I do with four-year-
olds whenever I look after them.
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Yeah. I put YouTube on autoplay
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and then, boom-- they sit
for, like, ten hours straight.
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Yeah. I'm the world's
best babysitter and
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they come away understanding
that Bush did 9/11.
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But, seriously,
this looked like so much fun.
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Four days of parties.
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It's like a Burning Man where
nobody's pretending to be poor.
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They've got 1,500 troops,
hundreds of horses,
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seven-layer desserts.
The only part I didn't enjoy
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was when they projected
the queen onto Stonehenge.
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Yeah, that felt kind of
like an age thing, you know?
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It was like, "Hey, you two know
each other, don't you? Yeah.
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Queen, say hi
to the stone faces."
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And while this extravaganza
may seem excessive to people,
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you got to admit, 70 years
on the throne is impressive.
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You know, in fact,
it's impressive for any job.
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Who else has held on to a job
for that long? Huh?
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I mean, if you think
about it, in fact,
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maybe it's time for the queen
to try something new.
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Yeah, I mean, with the skills
she's learned at this job,
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you know, she could
try something else.
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She would be an incredible
Walmart greeter. You know?
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Just like,
"Plasma screens in aisle five."
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She could be a consultant
on the next season
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of Bridgerton, you know? Yeah,
just being like, "It's not bad,
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but I wish we had this many
chocolate hunks in my day."
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Yeah, or-or the best one
of all-- she could be a rapper.
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Yeah, the queen would be
seamless in that. You know?
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She's got the bodyguard.
She's got the bling.
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She just went platinum.
All she needs now
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is to start a beef
with another monarch. Yeah.
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You want some of this,
Emperor Naruhito?
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Didn't think so, bitch!
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But let's move on from someone
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who's been on the throne
for 70 years
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to someone who wishes
they could be on the throne
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for 70 years more:
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Donald "jubilee" Trump.
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Because, do you guys remember,
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um, you know,
how Trump and his people
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pea-peacefully tried
to, uh, dispute
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the 2020 election?
Do you guys remember that? Yeah?
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Well, if you don't,
if you don't, I understand.
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It was, like, 34 years ago
in pandemic time.
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But, uh, it turns out
that since Trump left office,
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the MAGA crowd has been plotting
their next move
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like a cartoon villain.
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And the reason we know this now
is because yesterday,
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Politico
dropped a bombshell story
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about how the GOP
might plan to win the midterms
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without having the most votes.
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Yeah, because, you see, in 2020,
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they were trying to challenge
the election.
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But thanks
to a new leaked recording,
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we now know the new MAGA plan
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is to install Trump supporters
as poll workers
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to challenge the election
from the inside.
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NEWSWOMAN: In a stunning piece
of reporting,
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Politico has uncovered tapes
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of Republican operatives
strategizing
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on how to overturn votes
in Democratic precincts.
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NEWSMAN:
The idea, uh,
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is to install
party-trained volunteers
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prepared to challenge voters
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at Democratic-majority
polling places
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and then to back up
those party-trained poll workers
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with a "army
of party-friendly lawyers."
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Those folks are largely QAnon,
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uh, election deniers,
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folks who think
the election was corrupted
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who are now gonna be trained
as p-poll workers,
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sitting there,
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having their hands
on the ballots,
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taking in the information
from the voters.
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Oh, boy, this is not good.
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This is definitely not good.
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Trump lovers are planning
to install themselves
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in place
of nonpartisan poll workers.
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It's
a major conflict of interest.
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It's like hiring death
as a lifeguard.
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(laughter)
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I don't know if he's interested
in saving you.
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And look, I'm not surprised
that Trump Republicans
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are switching their things up
for this coming election.
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Because last time,
what did they do?
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They left it to this guy, right?
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A man who was somehow even bad
at sweating.
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(laughs): I mean...
I mean, look-look at that.
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Right?
That's-that's what it looks like
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when hope
physically leaves your body.
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(laughter)
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And this is the thing
about Republicans:
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they're not deterred
by setbacks.
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Right? They tried to steal
the election last time,
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and-and what happened?
Everyone laughed at them.
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and they could have given up,
you know,
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and tried to win the election
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based solely on the strength
of their ideas.
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But no, they got up.
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They dusted themselves off,
and they said,
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"This time, we're not gonna need
to overturn the votes
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because we won't count them
in the first place."
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And let that be a lesson, kids.
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You never give up
on your dreams.
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(laughter)
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I think that's the lesson,
right?
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That is the lesson?
No, it's not that?
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Oh, and by the way,
if you're worried
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that this means you won't get
your "I voted" stickers,
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calm down. You will.
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Yeah. It'll just have
a question mark at the end.
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Spice things up.
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-(laughter and applause)
-All right. (laughs)
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Let's move on.
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(cheering and applause)
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Are you one of those people
who eats fish
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instead of red meat
because it's healthier for you?
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Well, if you live in Florida,
you might want to think again.
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NEWSWOMAN: There's this
alarming study out of Florida
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finding fish off the coast
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are contaminated
with pharmaceuticals.
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Researchers sampled 93 bonefish
over three years
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and found an average
of seven meds per bonefish.
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One fish had 17 different drugs.
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00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:06,553
List includes
blood pressure medication,
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antidepressants, antibiotics,
pain relievers and a lot more.
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Researchers say
the meds get in the wastewater
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every time people flush.
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You know,
every time I think I've seen
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the most American story
of all time...
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(laughter)
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...this kind of stuff comes up.
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'Cause which other country
can say,
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"There's so much medication
leaving our bodies,
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"we're bosic...
basically providing Obamacare
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to the fish"?
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Think about it.
How much medication
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are American doctors
prescribing people?
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I think it might be too much
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if I can shit out a full dose
for somebody else.
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(laughter)
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I will say,
this could be a good thing.
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There is a silver lining.
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Drug prices have gotten so high
in America,
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if you can't afford
your heart medication,
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now you can just go
to Red Lobster. Yeah.
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Yeah, you might
get your blood pressure down,
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or you might get
a four-hour erection.
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Either way, you're happier.
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You're happier.
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(cheering and applause)
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And I know, I know there are
some people who are like,
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"Trevor,
it's not about the people.
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"This is unhealthy for the fish.
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It's not about humans."
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I actually think this is good
for the fish.
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00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,484
I do. I think it's good
that they got a hold
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of some of those
antidepressants, you know?
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Yeah, if your habitat
was slowly boiling around you,
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you could use some Lexapro,
you know?
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Just chill you out.
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And, you know,
when I was watching the story,
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like, I know that we put
toilet water in the ocean,
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but this story just reminded me
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that we put our toilet water
in the ocean.
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Yeah, it's just like, whenever
I'm having fun at the beach,
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00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,409
you know,
frolicking in the waves...
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(laughs)
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(laughter and applause)
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...I never think,
"Man, it's great to spend time
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in a big, giant toilet."
244
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:45,452
We don't think of the ocean
245
00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:46,687
as that when we're in it,
you know?
246
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:49,590
You realize people propose
at the beach.
247
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:51,258
Now once you remember
248
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:53,160
that our toilet water
goes there,
249
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:55,295
it's not as romantic anymore.
250
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,598
You know? It's just like,
"So, how did he propose?"
251
00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:59,233
Like,
"Oh, remember that huge dump
252
00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:00,801
"you flushed the other day?
253
00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:02,202
It was right next to that."
254
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:05,038
"Oh, my God."
255
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:06,673
All right, but let's move on
to some exciting news
256
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,042
from the world of science,
and in particular, robots.
257
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,011
There's no denying that
robots have come a long way,
258
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,046
you know, from helping humans
assemble cars,
259
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,148
to showing off their dance moves
260
00:10:15,249 --> 00:10:17,117
to distract us from
the apocalypse they're planning,
261
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:19,553
to even running some
of the world's biggest
262
00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:21,054
social media companies.
263
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:23,457
But it turns out,
264
00:10:23,557 --> 00:10:28,729
the next big leap in robots
might actually be really small.
265
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:30,130
Well, a group of engineers
266
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:32,566
from Northwestern University
developing the smallest,
267
00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:34,501
remote-controlled robots
ever created.
268
00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:36,503
Look at this.
So, this tiny crab robot
269
00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:38,672
is only half a millimeter wide.
270
00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:40,207
That's smaller than a flea.
271
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,676
It can walk along the edge
of a penny, too.
272
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:45,879
Now, the bot has the ability
to crawl, jump and even twist.
273
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,048
The engineers hope micro robots
274
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:51,785
can eventually repair
small machines in tight spaces.
275
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:54,388
-Ew!
-(laughter)
276
00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:55,889
Oh, those things look
like something
277
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,925
WALL-E picked up
at an airport La Quinta.
278
00:10:58,025 --> 00:11:00,160
Yeah. It's just like, "Ooh,
you got to wrap it up, WALL-E.
279
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:01,695
That looks disgusting."
280
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,064
You know, I don't know why
this kind of robot scares me
281
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:06,133
a lot more than
the human-sized ones, you know?
282
00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:08,135
'Cause at least,
if a big robot goes berserk,
283
00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:09,770
we can close the door.
284
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:11,371
I don't know, man.
We're making tiny robots?
285
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:13,373
They're just going to wait
until you're asleep,
286
00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:16,777
and they crawl into your mouth,
into your brain. Yeah.
287
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,745
And they get into your brain,
and they trigger that memory
288
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:20,480
of the time you asked that girl
to prom, and she said
289
00:11:20,581 --> 00:11:22,616
she was busy that night, but
then, you saw her at the prom.
290
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,218
(laughter)
291
00:11:24,318 --> 00:11:26,353
(crying): "Now I wish
that robot had killed me."
292
00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:27,988
(laughter)
293
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,357
And you know, while it's cool
to have a super tiny robot
294
00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:32,492
to repair small machines,
295
00:11:32,593 --> 00:11:34,695
what are you going to do
when the tiny robots break?
296
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,630
Do we think about that? Huh?
297
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,232
Yeah, you don't think
about it, do you?
298
00:11:38,332 --> 00:11:39,833
Yeah, you realize
what's going to happen.
299
00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:41,101
You've got robots breaking,
300
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:42,703
you bring the tiny robots
to fix those,
301
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,304
and then the tiny robots break,
and then what are you gonna do?
302
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,106
You're gonna have to call
the world's tiniest repairman
303
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,975
to your house.
304
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:49,776
Okay, before we get started,
305
00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:51,845
there's a few things
I'm going to need from you.
306
00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:53,213
I'm going to get thirsty
307
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:55,415
so give me a drop of water
for the day, okay?
308
00:11:55,516 --> 00:11:57,251
Secondly, I only take Venmo.
309
00:11:57,351 --> 00:12:00,053
Can't risk getting stuck under
another dollar bill for a week.
310
00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:01,488
No more of that.
311
00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:03,957
And most importantly,
make sure you lock up your cat.
312
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:08,662
That thing is like a T. rex
to me. I'm tiny. I'm tiny.
313
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:11,365
(applause and cheering)
314
00:12:11,465 --> 00:12:15,102
Okay, finally,
315
00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:17,137
have you ever wondered
what happens
316
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,572
between the time
you click "order"
317
00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:20,073
on a food delivery app,
318
00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:22,242
and the food actually arriving
at your door?
319
00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:24,211
And you might be saying, "Oh,
I know what happens, Trevor.
320
00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:26,680
-I rub one out while I wait."
No. -(laughter)
321
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:28,482
What I mean is,
what happens on the food side.
322
00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:31,185
You guys are disgusting.
323
00:12:31,285 --> 00:12:33,387
Well, now,
delivery drivers are revealing
324
00:12:33,487 --> 00:12:35,756
what's really happening
behind the scenes.
325
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:38,292
You may want to pick it up
instead of having it delivered.
326
00:12:38,392 --> 00:12:41,094
According to a new poll,
80% of delivery workers admit
327
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:44,097
to eating some of the food
in their customers' orders.
328
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:46,867
NEWSWOMAN: Uh-uh. More than 500
delivery drivers were polled
329
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:49,670
for the survey, and the results
show 25% confessed
330
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,438
to hooking up with someone
in their vehicle.
331
00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:54,708
(laughter)
332
00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:57,177
I'm sorry.
That is... that is shocking.
333
00:12:57,277 --> 00:13:00,914
80% of drivers eat
their customers' food?
334
00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:05,219
So that means 20% of drivers
are delivering vegan meals?
335
00:13:05,319 --> 00:13:08,222
That can't be right.
336
00:13:08,322 --> 00:13:09,957
I actually don't necessarily
have a problem
337
00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:11,291
with sharing my food
with someone.
338
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:14,061
I'm not Swedish, and also,
339
00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:16,864
this news actually makes me feel
better about ordering takeout.
340
00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,298
Yeah, 'cause now
when someone says,
341
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,400
"Do you know how many calories
are in those fries?"
342
00:13:20,501 --> 00:13:23,270
I'll be like,
"30% less, thanks to Barry.
343
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:26,807
Five stars, Barry, five stars."
344
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:29,076
And before you hear this news
and go,
345
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,411
"Ah, delivery drivers are shit,
they're eating our food,"
346
00:13:31,512 --> 00:13:33,347
maybe you should be asking,
why do these billion-dollar
347
00:13:33,447 --> 00:13:35,382
tech companies pay
the delivery people so badly
348
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,651
-that they have to eat your
food? -(applause and cheering)
349
00:13:37,751 --> 00:13:40,287
In fact, they should have an
option where on top of the tip,
350
00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:42,556
you can order
extra food for them.
351
00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:45,225
The only detail that threw me
in this whole thing is the part
352
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,427
about hooking up in the car.
That threw me off.
353
00:13:47,528 --> 00:13:49,296
Yeah, when they said, like,
delivery drivers admit
354
00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:51,164
to hooking up in the car.
Like, when?
355
00:13:51,265 --> 00:13:53,967
I just want to know when.
I don't mind, but when.
356
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:55,536
Is it, like,
when they're not delivering,
357
00:13:55,636 --> 00:13:56,937
or is it when
they're on the job?
358
00:13:57,104 --> 00:13:59,239
Is that, like, while
they're delivering the food?
359
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,341
'Cause I'll be honest, man,
you know.
360
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:04,878
I don't want my freshly-cooked
dumplings to witness that.
361
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:07,314
Oh, boy, oh, boy!
362
00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:10,450
I can't wait to go
to my new house!
363
00:14:10,551 --> 00:14:13,320
Oh, it's gonna be...
Wait! Why are we stopping?!
364
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:15,489
What-what are you two doing?
Aah! Aah!
365
00:14:15,589 --> 00:14:17,524
I don't want to see this!
I don't want to see this!
366
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:20,093
Close the lid! Close the lid!
367
00:14:20,194 --> 00:14:22,095
Why does he have a sausage
on him?!
368
00:14:22,196 --> 00:14:24,531
What's going on?!
369
00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:27,601
(applause and cheering)
370
00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:29,136
Tough life for the dumplings.
371
00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:30,637
All right, we got
to take a quick break,
372
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:31,805
but don't go away,
'cause when we come back,
373
00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:33,273
Michael Kosta hits the streets
374
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,475
to find solutions
to America's gun problem.
375
00:14:35,576 --> 00:14:36,944
You don't want to miss it.
376
00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:39,079
(applause and cheering)
377
00:14:43,037 --> 00:14:45,072
(cheering, applause)
378
00:14:50,344 --> 00:14:53,414
Welcome back
to The Daily Show.
379
00:14:53,514 --> 00:14:55,549
On May 14,
380
00:14:55,649 --> 00:14:57,785
a man armed with
an AR-15-style rifle
381
00:14:57,885 --> 00:14:59,987
shot up a supermarket
in Buffalo.
382
00:15:00,087 --> 00:15:03,290
Ten days later, another man
with an AR-15-style rifle
383
00:15:03,390 --> 00:15:05,092
shot up a school in Texas.
384
00:15:05,192 --> 00:15:07,227
And just yesterday,
a man with an AR-15-style rifle
385
00:15:07,328 --> 00:15:10,097
shot up a medical building
in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
386
00:15:10,197 --> 00:15:13,233
Now, you might think
the problem here
387
00:15:13,334 --> 00:15:16,237
is all the AR-15-style rifles,
388
00:15:16,337 --> 00:15:19,273
but that just shows
how little you know,
389
00:15:19,373 --> 00:15:21,375
because the real problem,
according to some,
390
00:15:21,475 --> 00:15:23,711
is all the doors.
391
00:15:23,811 --> 00:15:26,714
Have one door into
and out of the school,
392
00:15:26,814 --> 00:15:30,618
and have that one door armed,
police officers at that door.
393
00:15:30,718 --> 00:15:33,220
There should be one entrance in
and one entrance out
394
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:35,522
at all of our elementary
and all of our middle schools.
395
00:15:35,623 --> 00:15:36,757
They're small enough to do that.
396
00:15:36,857 --> 00:15:39,593
It is about the
single point of entry.
397
00:15:39,693 --> 00:15:41,762
If the school was on lockdown,
could the doors have
398
00:15:41,862 --> 00:15:43,297
been locked where he
couldn't have gotten in?
399
00:15:43,397 --> 00:15:46,867
Classroom doors should be
hardened to make them lockable
400
00:15:46,967 --> 00:15:49,937
from the inside
and closed to intruders
401
00:15:50,037 --> 00:15:52,139
from the outside.
402
00:15:52,172 --> 00:15:55,910
That's right--
America has a doors problem.
403
00:15:56,010 --> 00:15:58,212
In fact, some doors
are totally unhinged,
404
00:15:58,312 --> 00:16:00,147
and yet politicians
are doing nothing.
405
00:16:00,214 --> 00:16:02,549
Since we know other countries
don't have America's
406
00:16:02,650 --> 00:16:04,852
mass shooting problem,
that clearly means that
407
00:16:04,952 --> 00:16:07,955
they know something
about doors that we don't.
408
00:16:08,055 --> 00:16:10,157
So we asked Michael Kosta
to hit the streets
409
00:16:10,190 --> 00:16:12,793
and find out how other countries
410
00:16:12,893 --> 00:16:15,029
deal with their doors.
411
00:16:15,162 --> 00:16:18,799
In the days since Uvalde,
we've had 11 more mass shoot--
412
00:16:18,899 --> 00:16:20,434
-(phone dings)
-Hold on.
413
00:16:20,534 --> 00:16:23,170
Shit, another one.
(sighs)
414
00:16:23,203 --> 00:16:26,340
In the days since Uvalde,
we've had 12 more mass--
415
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:27,675
-(phone dings)
-Hold on, news alert.
416
00:16:27,775 --> 00:16:30,377
Thirteen!
417
00:16:30,477 --> 00:16:33,747
-(phone dings)
-Shit. 14 mass shootings.
418
00:16:33,847 --> 00:16:35,616
-(phone dinging, buzzing)
-Jesus.
419
00:16:35,716 --> 00:16:37,651
But for some reason,
mass shootings are
420
00:16:37,751 --> 00:16:39,186
the one part of American
culture that
421
00:16:39,219 --> 00:16:41,221
isn't popular
in other countries.
422
00:16:41,322 --> 00:16:42,923
How often are you having
mass shootings in India?
423
00:16:43,023 --> 00:16:44,191
Is it weekly? Is it daily?
424
00:16:44,291 --> 00:16:46,193
It's zero. None.
425
00:16:46,293 --> 00:16:48,462
-In our 30 years, never.
-Absolutely none.
426
00:16:48,562 --> 00:16:50,230
Never. I've never heard
of a mass shooting in Ireland.
427
00:16:50,331 --> 00:16:53,400
KOSTA: Wow. So what are they
doing differently than us?
428
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:55,569
Mass shootings in America.
429
00:16:55,669 --> 00:16:56,937
Everyone knows
what's causing them.
430
00:16:57,037 --> 00:16:58,539
No one's really saying it.
431
00:16:58,639 --> 00:17:00,908
It's the elephant in the room.
Let's say it together.
432
00:17:01,008 --> 00:17:03,277
America has too many...
433
00:17:03,377 --> 00:17:05,579
-Guns. -...doors.
Wait, what did you say?
434
00:17:05,679 --> 00:17:09,149
The one thing America can do
to prevent mass shootings
435
00:17:09,216 --> 00:17:13,153
is to limit each school to one
or, even better, zero doors.
436
00:17:13,254 --> 00:17:14,355
-I disagree.
-KOSTA: Why?
437
00:17:14,455 --> 00:17:15,756
That doesn't make sense.
438
00:17:15,856 --> 00:17:17,291
One door?
How is that gonna work?
439
00:17:17,391 --> 00:17:19,560
Like,
one door for the entire school?
440
00:17:19,660 --> 00:17:21,795
-It's like a jail. -How are you
gonna get out of a fire?
441
00:17:21,895 --> 00:17:23,163
Let's say
we're in a school together
442
00:17:23,197 --> 00:17:24,365
with no doors,
and we're in a fire.
443
00:17:24,465 --> 00:17:26,033
That's why the kids
should have guns.
444
00:17:26,166 --> 00:17:27,768
-No.
-You shoot out a circle.
445
00:17:27,868 --> 00:17:29,036
I'll grab your hand.
It'll be like...
446
00:17:29,169 --> 00:17:30,638
I saw it
in an action movie once.
447
00:17:30,738 --> 00:17:32,273
-Okay. -And then we...
And then we-we go out.
448
00:17:32,373 --> 00:17:33,507
Or shoot out the window.
449
00:17:34,608 --> 00:17:36,777
-Do you know what I mean? -Well,
what do guns have to do with it?
450
00:17:36,877 --> 00:17:38,479
-I'm talking about, like, doors.
-Yeah.
451
00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:40,614
You know, like, the shooters
come in through doors.
452
00:17:40,714 --> 00:17:41,682
-Okay. Yeah.
-Right?
453
00:17:41,782 --> 00:17:43,117
I wasn't sure why these tourists
454
00:17:43,217 --> 00:17:46,253
were ignoring the real threat
to our nation: doors.
455
00:17:46,353 --> 00:17:48,722
How did the Polish government
defeat the door lobby?
456
00:17:48,822 --> 00:17:51,926
They don't.
They just let people have doors.
457
00:17:52,026 --> 00:17:53,861
Okay, and how many shootings
have there been?
458
00:17:53,961 --> 00:17:55,329
-None.
-Exact...
459
00:17:55,429 --> 00:17:56,797
What?
460
00:17:56,897 --> 00:17:58,365
-None?
-Well, yeah.
461
00:17:58,465 --> 00:18:00,634
(sighs) But these
are little European doors,
462
00:18:00,734 --> 00:18:02,836
like little ones that, like,
Hansel and Gretel walk through?
463
00:18:02,937 --> 00:18:04,638
-No.
-This isn't the old days
464
00:18:04,738 --> 00:18:07,608
with the old doors,
the big wooden, heavy doors
465
00:18:07,708 --> 00:18:09,543
it was real difficult to open.
466
00:18:09,643 --> 00:18:11,412
Y-You know,
these are new, modern doors.
467
00:18:11,512 --> 00:18:12,680
Like, even a kid can open them.
468
00:18:12,780 --> 00:18:14,715
There are
so many heartless manufacturers
469
00:18:14,815 --> 00:18:17,384
like Smith & Wess...
No, like Crate & Barrel.
470
00:18:17,484 --> 00:18:18,586
They make doors.
471
00:18:18,686 --> 00:18:20,321
It doesn't have to do
with the doors.
472
00:18:20,421 --> 00:18:22,356
Hey, I realize doors
are a hot-button issue,
473
00:18:22,456 --> 00:18:23,557
but just keep your cool.
474
00:18:23,657 --> 00:18:25,159
I'm not saying anything crazy.
475
00:18:25,225 --> 00:18:28,362
I'm just saying you should have
a license to buy a door.
476
00:18:28,462 --> 00:18:31,932
You should have a-a
background check to buy a door.
477
00:18:32,032 --> 00:18:33,834
If you have committed
a violent crime
478
00:18:33,934 --> 00:18:35,302
in the last five years,
479
00:18:35,402 --> 00:18:38,172
maybe there's a waiting period
for you to buy a door.
480
00:18:38,272 --> 00:18:41,175
So are you saying that buying
a gun should be easier
481
00:18:41,208 --> 00:18:42,776
than buying any door?
482
00:18:42,876 --> 00:18:44,612
Well, what do guns have
to do with it?
483
00:18:44,712 --> 00:18:46,580
Guns are what keep us safe.
484
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,582
Foreigners like to say
485
00:18:48,682 --> 00:18:51,252
that Americans are obsessed
with guns.
486
00:18:51,352 --> 00:18:53,120
Yet, when it comes
to preventing mass shootings,
487
00:18:53,153 --> 00:18:55,689
all they wanted
to talk about was guns.
488
00:18:55,789 --> 00:18:57,524
Now who's obsessed?
489
00:18:57,625 --> 00:18:59,727
Do you think it would help
to ban revolvers?
490
00:18:59,827 --> 00:19:01,996
-Yeah. -You know the doors
that go around like this?
491
00:19:02,129 --> 00:19:03,864
-Oh, I thought revolvers. Sorry.
-Right.
492
00:19:03,964 --> 00:19:05,332
Oh, you were thinking of guns?
493
00:19:05,432 --> 00:19:07,701
Very. Yeah.
494
00:19:07,801 --> 00:19:08,903
But what
about your constitutional right
495
00:19:09,003 --> 00:19:09,904
to have a gun?
496
00:19:10,004 --> 00:19:11,372
No constitutional right.
497
00:19:11,472 --> 00:19:13,140
Whoa!
498
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:14,975
Does it suck over there?
499
00:19:15,142 --> 00:19:17,278
We have a... a law.
500
00:19:17,378 --> 00:19:19,213
You can't buy a gun
just like that.
501
00:19:19,313 --> 00:19:21,649
You have to have permission
to have a gun.
502
00:19:21,749 --> 00:19:23,617
-A permit, a license?
-Yeah, a license.
503
00:19:23,717 --> 00:19:25,786
You can't go in a shop
and have a gun.
504
00:19:25,886 --> 00:19:27,821
-It's complicated.
-It is.
505
00:19:27,922 --> 00:19:30,057
But let me tell you
what's simple:
506
00:19:30,157 --> 00:19:32,159
one door.
507
00:19:32,259 --> 00:19:34,628
-You keep coming back
to these guns. -Right.
508
00:19:34,728 --> 00:19:37,031
People are coming through
the doors to do dangerous stuff.
509
00:19:37,164 --> 00:19:40,167
Well, they have to have
something dangerous with them,
510
00:19:40,267 --> 00:19:41,368
like a gun.
511
00:19:41,468 --> 00:19:44,104
And the doors-- I don't know.
512
00:19:44,138 --> 00:19:45,906
You walk through the doors.
I can't see the rel...
513
00:19:46,006 --> 00:19:47,441
I'm sorry. I can't understand.
514
00:19:47,541 --> 00:19:49,810
I appreciate you apologizing.
Apology accepted.
515
00:19:49,910 --> 00:19:52,680
Maybe one day, these foreigners
will have some actual advice
516
00:19:52,780 --> 00:19:54,582
on how to stop mass shootings
in America.
517
00:19:54,682 --> 00:19:57,685
But until then,
our door is open.
518
00:19:57,785 --> 00:20:01,288
(cheers and applause)
519
00:20:01,388 --> 00:20:03,123
We'll figure it out, Michael.
520
00:20:03,190 --> 00:20:05,259
Stay tuned,
'cause we're going to be joined
521
00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:07,528
by Ukrainian ambassador
to the United Nations,
522
00:20:07,628 --> 00:20:09,964
Sergiy Kyslytsya,
so, please, don't go away.
523
00:20:10,130 --> 00:20:12,132
(applause and cheering)
524
00:20:21,191 --> 00:20:23,226
(cheers and applause)
525
00:20:26,196 --> 00:20:27,564
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
526
00:20:27,664 --> 00:20:29,766
My guest tonight
is Ukraine's representative
527
00:20:29,866 --> 00:20:31,401
to the United Nations.
528
00:20:31,501 --> 00:20:33,970
He's here to talk about
Russia's war in the Ukraine.
529
00:20:34,070 --> 00:20:36,873
Here he is addressing
his Russian counterpart
530
00:20:36,973 --> 00:20:40,410
at an emergency meeting
of the U.N. Security Council
531
00:20:40,510 --> 00:20:42,278
at the start of the war.
532
00:20:42,378 --> 00:20:44,013
It's too late,
my dear colleagues,
533
00:20:44,114 --> 00:20:45,515
to speak about the escalation.
534
00:20:45,615 --> 00:20:47,851
Too late.
535
00:20:47,951 --> 00:20:50,987
The Russian president
declared war on the record.
536
00:20:51,087 --> 00:20:53,990
Should I play the video
of your president?
537
00:20:56,059 --> 00:20:58,061
Ambassador,
shall I do that right now?
538
00:20:58,161 --> 00:21:00,764
You can confirm it.
539
00:21:03,099 --> 00:21:04,501
Do not interrupt me, please.
540
00:21:04,601 --> 00:21:06,536
Thank you.
541
00:21:06,636 --> 00:21:08,605
Then don't ask me questions
when you are speaking.
542
00:21:08,705 --> 00:21:10,640
Proceed with your...
proceed with your statement.
543
00:21:10,740 --> 00:21:12,575
KYSLYTSYA:
Anyway, you declared the war.
544
00:21:12,675 --> 00:21:16,413
It is the responsibility
of this body to stop the war.
545
00:21:16,513 --> 00:21:19,916
Please welcome
Ambassador Sergiy Kyslytsya.
546
00:21:20,016 --> 00:21:21,985
(cheers and applause)
547
00:21:24,687 --> 00:21:25,955
Welcome.
548
00:21:26,055 --> 00:21:28,091
(cheers and applause continue)
549
00:21:32,729 --> 00:21:34,531
Ambassador,
welcome to The Daily Show.
550
00:21:34,631 --> 00:21:35,965
Oh, thank you.
Thank you for inviting me.
551
00:21:36,066 --> 00:21:40,036
You have a really position...
uh, interesting position
552
00:21:40,136 --> 00:21:41,671
and a difficult undertaking
right now,
553
00:21:41,771 --> 00:21:45,041
because you are representing
Ukraine at the U.N.
554
00:21:45,141 --> 00:21:46,743
and Ukraine is in
555
00:21:46,843 --> 00:21:49,145
one of the most precarious
positions right now.
556
00:21:49,312 --> 00:21:51,681
Before we get into where we are,
557
00:21:51,781 --> 00:21:53,416
let's maybe clear up
the beginning.
558
00:21:53,516 --> 00:21:55,318
How did this start
559
00:21:55,351 --> 00:21:58,555
and what is the cause
of what we're seeing in Ukraine?
560
00:21:58,655 --> 00:22:01,124
Well, do you want a long story,
or you want a short version?
561
00:22:01,224 --> 00:22:02,659
(chuckles): I guess, we're on TV
so the short version.
562
00:22:02,759 --> 00:22:05,361
Well, the long one
is like 300... 300 years.
563
00:22:05,462 --> 00:22:08,498
The short one is
Putin came to power,
564
00:22:08,598 --> 00:22:12,335
and, uh, he probably
promised himself
565
00:22:12,435 --> 00:22:14,571
that he would restore
the Soviet Empire,
566
00:22:14,671 --> 00:22:18,808
and ever since, uh,
we are, um, in the state of war.
567
00:22:18,908 --> 00:22:20,910
And now we are in the state
of hot war.
568
00:22:21,010 --> 00:22:25,014
Actually, the war started
not on the 24th of February.
569
00:22:25,115 --> 00:22:28,985
-It started, uh, back in 2014.
-Mm-hmm.
570
00:22:29,085 --> 00:22:30,720
And you-you're in
a position now where...
571
00:22:30,820 --> 00:22:32,522
As you said, I like that
you called it a "hot war"
572
00:22:32,622 --> 00:22:33,823
because it's a war that,
you know,
573
00:22:33,923 --> 00:22:35,291
people that can see
very clearly.
574
00:22:35,392 --> 00:22:36,793
There are many people
who are being killed,
575
00:22:36,893 --> 00:22:38,161
there are tanks rolling in.
576
00:22:38,294 --> 00:22:40,964
It-It's a different
type of war, though,
577
00:22:41,064 --> 00:22:44,634
because everybody agrees
that Ukraine is in the right.
578
00:22:44,734 --> 00:22:46,403
Everybody agrees that Russia
is doing something wrong.
579
00:22:46,503 --> 00:22:49,072
And yet, because of Russia
being Russia,
580
00:22:49,172 --> 00:22:51,007
it seems like the United Nations
581
00:22:51,107 --> 00:22:53,309
and many other countries
are scared to overact
582
00:22:53,343 --> 00:22:55,612
for fear of causing a world war.
583
00:22:55,712 --> 00:22:57,714
How-how do you then
ask for help?
584
00:22:57,814 --> 00:23:00,850
And what do you... what do
you hope will be achieved
585
00:23:00,950 --> 00:23:02,051
if countries, you know,
586
00:23:02,152 --> 00:23:03,486
have to balance
this precarious position?
587
00:23:03,586 --> 00:23:06,222
Well, I think that,
as a matter of fact, for me,
588
00:23:06,322 --> 00:23:08,792
we're already in
the third world war,
589
00:23:08,892 --> 00:23:10,693
which may be
kind of crazy to say.
590
00:23:10,794 --> 00:23:14,330
But, uh, the 21st century
is not the 20th century,
591
00:23:14,431 --> 00:23:18,101
where we had these standard wars
with tanks crossing the borders.
592
00:23:18,201 --> 00:23:20,270
We are in a hybrid world,
593
00:23:20,336 --> 00:23:21,871
and you don't really need
to cross the border
594
00:23:21,971 --> 00:23:23,873
to attack, uh,
the United States.
595
00:23:23,973 --> 00:23:26,076
You can do that
in cyberspace, you know.
596
00:23:26,176 --> 00:23:29,379
Or you can do, like, terrorism
or financial terrorism.
597
00:23:29,479 --> 00:23:31,614
So, basically, uh,
598
00:23:31,714 --> 00:23:34,117
we are there
in the United Nations,
599
00:23:34,284 --> 00:23:35,652
and the United Nations
is a product
600
00:23:35,752 --> 00:23:38,288
of, uh, three old gentlemen,
601
00:23:38,321 --> 00:23:40,090
among, uh, which
were Joseph Stalin.
602
00:23:40,190 --> 00:23:41,357
So it's not perfect.
603
00:23:41,458 --> 00:23:44,894
And we still, uh,
in the hundredth day of the war,
604
00:23:44,994 --> 00:23:46,796
we still have Russia
sitting in front of us,
605
00:23:46,896 --> 00:23:50,200
and we still pretend
that we have to, uh, respect it.
606
00:23:50,300 --> 00:23:52,402
And the only reason
we respect Russian Federation
607
00:23:52,502 --> 00:23:53,737
is because, uh...
608
00:23:53,837 --> 00:23:55,805
Well, I do not respect,
but they have to respect.
609
00:23:55,905 --> 00:23:57,307
-Uh, they-they... (chuckles)
-(laughter)
610
00:23:57,340 --> 00:23:59,309
Yeah, that's
a very important correction.
611
00:23:59,342 --> 00:24:01,945
Because they-they possess
the nuclear arsenal,
612
00:24:02,045 --> 00:24:03,313
and they are really paranoid
613
00:24:03,379 --> 00:24:06,082
that Russia may use,
uh, nukes against them.
614
00:24:06,182 --> 00:24:07,917
So, is-is your argument, then,
615
00:24:08,017 --> 00:24:09,919
that Russia shouldn't be sitting
616
00:24:10,019 --> 00:24:11,988
as one of those
permanent members of the U.N.?
617
00:24:12,088 --> 00:24:13,690
Oh, first of all, Russia
is not a permanent member,
618
00:24:13,790 --> 00:24:14,691
if you ask me.
619
00:24:14,791 --> 00:24:15,992
I mean, Russia occupied
620
00:24:16,092 --> 00:24:18,895
the seat of the Soviet Union
back in 1991
621
00:24:18,995 --> 00:24:21,131
the same way
Russia occupied Georgia,
622
00:24:21,264 --> 00:24:24,067
the same way Russia occupied,
uh, Transnistria in Moldova,
623
00:24:24,167 --> 00:24:27,270
the same way
Russia invaded, uh, Syria.
624
00:24:27,370 --> 00:24:30,607
So, uh, Russia occupies,
occupies, occupies,
625
00:24:30,707 --> 00:24:32,375
and we are all complacent
with that.
626
00:24:32,475 --> 00:24:33,943
I mean,
we were complacent with that
627
00:24:34,043 --> 00:24:36,045
until, uh,
the night of the 23rd,
628
00:24:36,146 --> 00:24:38,381
and all of a sudden, we were
surprised that it happened.
629
00:24:38,481 --> 00:24:40,750
I mean,
which was imminent for 30 years.
630
00:24:40,850 --> 00:24:44,287
But do you... do you think
that maybe this has been...
631
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:45,622
You know, it-it...
632
00:24:45,722 --> 00:24:47,690
Everything in hindsight
is twenty-twenty.
633
00:24:47,791 --> 00:24:50,593
You know, and-and I've read,
you know, some historians
634
00:24:50,693 --> 00:24:52,629
who would argue that, you know,
635
00:24:52,729 --> 00:24:54,464
there could have been a way
for the world
636
00:24:54,564 --> 00:24:57,300
to bring Russia into the fold
from the very beginning.
637
00:24:57,333 --> 00:24:58,568
Some say the problem
638
00:24:58,668 --> 00:25:00,303
was the fact
that Russia was pushed out.
639
00:25:00,336 --> 00:25:02,105
-Russia felt like they were
being isolated. -Oh, yeah, yeah.
640
00:25:02,205 --> 00:25:04,174
It felt like NATO was
encroaching on their territory.
641
00:25:04,307 --> 00:25:05,842
If Putin
was brought into the fold,
642
00:25:05,942 --> 00:25:06,976
he would have had
a vested interest
643
00:25:07,077 --> 00:25:08,178
in being part of the world.
644
00:25:08,311 --> 00:25:10,180
Do you see any credence
in that argument?
645
00:25:10,313 --> 00:25:12,682
Well, you know,
I saw many kremlinologists
646
00:25:12,782 --> 00:25:15,885
or Sovietologists, as, uh,
they call, they're called often.
647
00:25:15,985 --> 00:25:19,222
And they are tunneled
with their vision of the world
648
00:25:19,322 --> 00:25:21,624
the same way, like, Germany
was tunneled with Nord Stream.
649
00:25:21,725 --> 00:25:23,727
Uh, you know, they saw the world
650
00:25:23,827 --> 00:25:25,628
through the tunnel
of Nord Stream.
651
00:25:25,729 --> 00:25:27,597
And, uh, we were...
652
00:25:27,697 --> 00:25:29,632
All of us, we, uh, we're guilty
653
00:25:29,733 --> 00:25:33,937
of, uh, uh, letting Putin grow
as a dictator,
654
00:25:34,037 --> 00:25:36,906
uh, of unprecedented scale
in Europe.
655
00:25:37,006 --> 00:25:38,708
Well, probably Hitler
is only the one
656
00:25:38,808 --> 00:25:40,376
we can compare him with.
657
00:25:40,477 --> 00:25:42,378
Uh, no, I don't believe
in appeasement.
658
00:25:42,479 --> 00:25:45,548
I believe in the need
to fight the virus.
659
00:25:45,648 --> 00:25:49,753
And, uh, Russian, uh, Putinism
is the same as COVID,
660
00:25:49,853 --> 00:25:52,489
but it's only the international
politics COVID, you know.
661
00:25:52,589 --> 00:25:55,759
Right. Right. And-and it is
taking its toll, as well.
662
00:25:55,859 --> 00:25:57,894
You know, your country's
in a position now
663
00:25:57,994 --> 00:25:59,162
where every day, we read
664
00:25:59,295 --> 00:26:01,831
about how Russia
is-is changing its tactics.
665
00:26:01,931 --> 00:26:04,134
You know, it's slowly becoming
a war of attrition
666
00:26:04,300 --> 00:26:05,769
as opposed to a direct assault.
667
00:26:05,869 --> 00:26:07,737
You know,
Ukraine has inspired the world
668
00:26:07,837 --> 00:26:09,305
in how...
in how you're fighting back.
669
00:26:09,372 --> 00:26:11,341
You know, your-your president
has been there,
670
00:26:11,441 --> 00:26:13,209
staying in the country,
you know,
671
00:26:13,309 --> 00:26:15,445
despite what everyone
thought he would do.
672
00:26:15,545 --> 00:26:19,516
Um, when you get to the point,
though, where it feels like
673
00:26:19,616 --> 00:26:25,088
European nations are
almost encouraging Ukraine to,
674
00:26:25,255 --> 00:26:27,257
in some way, you know,
give up a piece of territory...
675
00:26:27,323 --> 00:26:28,858
You see many European nations
saying
676
00:26:28,958 --> 00:26:31,694
"Ukraine, maybe you should
give them the Donbas region.
677
00:26:31,795 --> 00:26:34,330
"Just give them that part
that has already expressed
678
00:26:34,431 --> 00:26:36,266
some sort of interest
in becoming part of Russia."
679
00:26:36,299 --> 00:26:38,802
You have said that that is
a complete nonstarter. Why?
680
00:26:38,902 --> 00:26:41,271
Yeah, it's absolutely...
I mean, no, unless
681
00:26:41,304 --> 00:26:42,705
everybody is an amnesiac,
you know?
682
00:26:42,806 --> 00:26:45,575
Let me remind you
what happened in 1938,
683
00:26:45,675 --> 00:26:50,113
when Hitler signed the Munich
Agreement with Chamberlain.
684
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:54,551
The New York Times literally,
literally ran an article,
685
00:26:54,651 --> 00:26:56,052
and I can quote from it.
686
00:26:56,152 --> 00:26:58,455
"The world has never
been pregnant with hope
687
00:26:58,555 --> 00:27:00,356
as it is now."
688
00:27:00,457 --> 00:27:01,691
-Ooh.
-And then what happened?
689
00:27:01,791 --> 00:27:05,328
Czechoslovakia lost one fifth
of its territory.
690
00:27:05,428 --> 00:27:07,397
The Nazi troops moved in.
691
00:27:07,497 --> 00:27:09,466
And then,
in less than 12 months,
692
00:27:09,566 --> 00:27:10,967
the second world war started,
693
00:27:11,067 --> 00:27:13,203
and the whole Czechoslovakia
was invaded.
694
00:27:13,303 --> 00:27:17,807
So, basically,
if people are not very...
695
00:27:17,907 --> 00:27:20,877
cognizant
of the history lessons,
696
00:27:20,977 --> 00:27:22,645
they have to go back to school,
I think.
697
00:27:22,746 --> 00:27:26,382
And it's a duty of all of us
to make them study the history.
698
00:27:26,483 --> 00:27:30,787
Are you worried
that European countries may,
699
00:27:30,887 --> 00:27:33,056
at some point, say,
"This is too much for us,
700
00:27:33,156 --> 00:27:35,058
and we don't know if we're going
to back Ukraine through this"?
701
00:27:35,158 --> 00:27:36,893
Because we've seen,
again, through history,
702
00:27:36,993 --> 00:27:41,464
Russia is not afraid
to fight long, painful wars.
703
00:27:41,564 --> 00:27:42,899
You know, it seems like
Vladimir Putin's not afraid
704
00:27:42,999 --> 00:27:45,034
to send his troops out
onto the front lines
705
00:27:45,135 --> 00:27:46,636
and have them perish
'cause he doesn't have to worry
706
00:27:46,736 --> 00:27:48,405
about an election
that he's losing.
707
00:27:48,505 --> 00:27:50,039
You know,
approval is not his issue.
708
00:27:50,140 --> 00:27:53,276
And so, if you're
in that position, you know,
709
00:27:53,309 --> 00:27:55,845
Ukraine is in a space
where you have
710
00:27:55,945 --> 00:27:58,948
your-your people
who may get demoralized,
711
00:27:59,048 --> 00:28:01,885
you know, you have a nation
that is constantly bombarded.
712
00:28:01,985 --> 00:28:03,453
You know, obviously,
the U.S. is helping you.
713
00:28:03,553 --> 00:28:06,289
But what would you hope
the next steps would be then?
714
00:28:06,356 --> 00:28:08,992
Where do you see the world
moving towards to help Ukraine?
715
00:28:09,092 --> 00:28:11,594
Well, Trevor, you just came
from Europe on tour, right?
716
00:28:11,694 --> 00:28:13,463
-I did, yeah.
-Yeah, you see... you saw
717
00:28:13,563 --> 00:28:16,599
with your own eyes that Europe
is not really homogeneous.
718
00:28:16,699 --> 00:28:19,035
Uh, it is so diverse.
It's like a bouquet of nations.
719
00:28:19,135 --> 00:28:21,838
-Right. -So it would be kind of
an overgeneralization
720
00:28:21,938 --> 00:28:25,041
to say that
"Europe believes, Europe says."
721
00:28:25,141 --> 00:28:28,478
I mean, we have wonderful,
wonderful nations,
722
00:28:28,578 --> 00:28:32,849
like Poland, like the U.K.,
like Portugal.
723
00:28:32,949 --> 00:28:34,584
I just talked
to the Portuguese ambassador.
724
00:28:34,684 --> 00:28:36,486
Like Baltic states.
725
00:28:36,586 --> 00:28:40,390
They will fight hard
until the very end
726
00:28:40,490 --> 00:28:42,559
to defeat the Russian despotism.
727
00:28:42,659 --> 00:28:45,762
You know, we have some countries
that got used
728
00:28:45,862 --> 00:28:47,564
-to living in comfort
for so long... -Mm-hmm.
729
00:28:47,664 --> 00:28:49,566
-that they're out of context
all together. -Hmm.
730
00:28:49,666 --> 00:28:51,134
But the thing is
731
00:28:51,267 --> 00:28:55,972
that if we do not defeat
Putinism today, right,
732
00:28:56,072 --> 00:28:59,042
if we will be satisfied
with just a military defeat
733
00:28:59,142 --> 00:29:01,277
of Russia in Ukraine,
734
00:29:01,344 --> 00:29:06,149
then we will let this dictator
735
00:29:06,282 --> 00:29:09,385
to regrow
his chopped-back claws.
736
00:29:09,486 --> 00:29:12,288
They will hit all of you again,
737
00:29:12,388 --> 00:29:13,890
like in five or seven years
from now,
738
00:29:13,990 --> 00:29:16,693
and then we all pay
triple price for it.
739
00:29:16,793 --> 00:29:20,363
So, even from the point of view
of, uh...
740
00:29:21,331 --> 00:29:24,033
...investing money
in Ukrainian, uh, victory,
741
00:29:24,134 --> 00:29:25,635
investing money
in Ukrainian victory
742
00:29:25,735 --> 00:29:28,405
is investing money
in your own security.
743
00:29:28,505 --> 00:29:30,140
And you should be all grateful
744
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:32,008
that it is
the U-Ukrainian soldiers,
745
00:29:32,108 --> 00:29:34,611
not the British soldiers,
not the American soldiers,
746
00:29:34,711 --> 00:29:36,413
who are dying in the front,
747
00:29:36,513 --> 00:29:39,249
defending
the collective democratic world.
748
00:29:39,315 --> 00:29:40,283
You know?
749
00:29:40,383 --> 00:29:41,785
So I have to remind about that,
750
00:29:41,885 --> 00:29:43,453
to all, uh, of our viewers
751
00:29:43,553 --> 00:29:45,588
and to all people in Europe,
in North America.
752
00:29:45,688 --> 00:29:47,791
And not only there.
753
00:29:47,891 --> 00:29:49,592
I have to remind all Africans
754
00:29:49,692 --> 00:29:52,562
who will suffer
from the food shortages
755
00:29:52,662 --> 00:29:54,164
in two months from now.
756
00:29:54,264 --> 00:29:55,598
A lot of people
don't know about that.
757
00:29:55,698 --> 00:29:57,667
You know,
I-I saw many people complaining
758
00:29:57,767 --> 00:29:59,269
about food prices going up.
759
00:29:59,302 --> 00:30:01,738
Many people in the Middle East
and Africa struggling with, um,
760
00:30:01,838 --> 00:30:03,907
you know, a shortage of wheat
and bread as, you know,
761
00:30:04,007 --> 00:30:06,176
-one of the most important
food sources. -Exactly.
762
00:30:06,276 --> 00:30:09,279
Many people don't know
how much of that grain
763
00:30:09,379 --> 00:30:11,081
is coming from Ukraine
for the entire world.
764
00:30:11,181 --> 00:30:12,882
There are countries--
there are countries
765
00:30:12,982 --> 00:30:16,286
that are 70% dependent
on Ukrainian grain.
766
00:30:16,319 --> 00:30:19,756
And those countries
are devastated with civil wars
767
00:30:19,856 --> 00:30:22,959
or with droughts or with,
uh, uh, climate calamities.
768
00:30:23,059 --> 00:30:25,462
They have no way
to go on the market
769
00:30:25,562 --> 00:30:27,397
and buy grain
from somewhere else.
770
00:30:27,497 --> 00:30:28,898
So, I mean, from-- for them,
771
00:30:28,998 --> 00:30:30,734
it is a matter
of surviv-survival.
772
00:30:30,834 --> 00:30:34,804
And the fact is that we have
21 million tons of grain
773
00:30:34,904 --> 00:30:36,706
-sitting to be exported.
-Right.
774
00:30:36,806 --> 00:30:39,776
And we can't do that
because one crazy...
775
00:30:39,876 --> 00:30:41,511
little person in-in Kremlin
776
00:30:41,611 --> 00:30:43,980
does not really allow us
to do that, you know?
777
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:45,215
And that's-that's amazing.
778
00:30:45,315 --> 00:30:46,583
I mean, that's amazing.
779
00:30:46,683 --> 00:30:49,219
And, uh, one of the jobs,
uh, we have to do,
780
00:30:49,319 --> 00:30:50,787
one of the things
we-we are doing currently
781
00:30:50,887 --> 00:30:52,255
in the United Nations,
782
00:30:52,355 --> 00:30:54,624
we are desperately seeking
the way
783
00:30:54,724 --> 00:30:58,695
how to save millions of people
784
00:30:58,795 --> 00:31:02,799
who are literally under the
threat of dying of starvation
785
00:31:02,899 --> 00:31:05,502
-10,000 miles away
from-from Ukraine. -Mm-hmm.
786
00:31:05,602 --> 00:31:06,936
You know, and that is why
787
00:31:07,036 --> 00:31:11,408
this conflict has
so many implications
788
00:31:11,508 --> 00:31:13,410
that, unlike in 2014,
789
00:31:13,510 --> 00:31:15,278
where we--
when we were all happy
790
00:31:15,378 --> 00:31:17,947
to have 100 nations voting,
uh, in favor
791
00:31:18,047 --> 00:31:20,049
of the territorial integrity
of Ukraine,
792
00:31:20,150 --> 00:31:21,918
we now have
overwhelming majority.
793
00:31:22,018 --> 00:31:25,054
We have 141 nations
794
00:31:25,155 --> 00:31:27,490
that voted on the 2nd of March
795
00:31:27,590 --> 00:31:30,894
and that identify
Russia as an aggressive state.
796
00:31:30,994 --> 00:31:33,963
You know,
there were only four countries--
797
00:31:34,064 --> 00:31:36,666
such wonderful countries
as North Korea and Syria--
798
00:31:36,766 --> 00:31:39,502
who voted in support
of-of Russia.
799
00:31:39,602 --> 00:31:41,304
You know, and it's very
important. It's very important.
800
00:31:41,404 --> 00:31:43,973
Because the world
finally understood
801
00:31:44,074 --> 00:31:47,844
-that it's not
just about Ukraine. -Mm-hmm.
802
00:31:47,944 --> 00:31:53,316
It's about the entire collective
democratic community of nations.
803
00:31:53,349 --> 00:31:54,484
Thank you so much
for joining us, Ambassador.
804
00:31:54,584 --> 00:31:55,518
Thank you for inviting me.
805
00:31:55,618 --> 00:31:56,753
I appreciate your time.
806
00:31:56,853 --> 00:31:58,321
-Hopefully we'll see you again.
-Thank you.
807
00:31:58,388 --> 00:31:59,456
All right,
we're gonna take a quick break,
808
00:31:59,556 --> 00:32:01,224
but we'll be right back
after this.
809
00:32:01,324 --> 00:32:02,392
(cheering and applause)
810
00:32:02,492 --> 00:32:03,827
Yeah. It's funny...
811
00:32:03,927 --> 00:32:05,962
(cheering and applause)
812
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:12,708
(applause and cheering)
813
00:32:12,808 --> 00:32:14,710
Well, that's our show
for tonight.
814
00:32:14,810 --> 00:32:16,712
But before we go,
before we go,
815
00:32:16,812 --> 00:32:19,515
this year,
on the one-year anniversary
816
00:32:19,615 --> 00:32:21,951
of the Capitol Insurrection,
we erected
817
00:32:22,051 --> 00:32:23,886
a tribute right here
in New York
818
00:32:23,986 --> 00:32:28,557
to the heroes who fought against
America on January 6, and lost.
819
00:32:28,657 --> 00:32:31,060
This weekend, June 3 to June 5,
820
00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:32,995
we'll be bringing
those monuments to Los Angeles
821
00:32:33,095 --> 00:32:34,430
for one weekend only.
822
00:32:34,530 --> 00:32:37,633
And we've added two new,
never-before-seen heroes.
823
00:32:37,733 --> 00:32:40,402
So, if you are in Los Angeles,
come and see the pop-up
824
00:32:40,503 --> 00:32:42,071
at the Westfield Century City.
825
00:32:42,171 --> 00:32:43,272
For more information,
keep an eye
826
00:32:43,372 --> 00:32:45,274
on The Daily Show social feeds.
827
00:32:45,374 --> 00:32:48,110
Until next time, stay safe
out there, and remember:
828
00:32:48,210 --> 00:32:51,280
ask your doctor if fish
from Florida is right for you.
829
00:32:51,380 --> 00:32:53,649
Now, here it is--
Your Moment of Zen!
830
00:32:53,749 --> 00:32:56,018
-(applause and cheering)
-♪ ♪
831
00:32:56,118 --> 00:32:57,753
-Live television, gang.
-(laughter)
832
00:32:57,853 --> 00:32:59,388
That's live TV for you.
833
00:32:59,488 --> 00:33:02,224
Excuse me. My sid... my kids
are here. Live television.
834
00:33:02,324 --> 00:33:03,793
-Well, do it live! (bleep) it!
-(indistinct chatter)
835
00:33:03,893 --> 00:33:06,495
I think it is appropriate
that they look at that timeline
836
00:33:06,595 --> 00:33:09,565
and understand what happened
in that context.
837
00:33:09,665 --> 00:33:11,434
But I also think
that we need to...
838
00:33:11,534 --> 00:33:13,602
we need
to take very seriously that...
839
00:33:13,702 --> 00:33:15,304
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
whoa, whoa, whoa.
840
00:33:15,337 --> 00:33:16,672
Whoa, whoa. Guys.
841
00:33:16,772 --> 00:33:19,475
Our camera fell down. Okay.
842
00:33:19,575 --> 00:33:22,545
-Brian Deese, thank you so much.
-♪ ♪