1
00:00:00,968 --> 00:00:02,069
♪ ♪
2
00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:03,470
ANNOUNCER: Coming to you
from New York City,
3
00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:05,372
the only city in America,
4
00:00:05,472 --> 00:00:07,307
it's The Daily Show.
5
00:00:07,407 --> 00:00:08,942
Tonight,
6
00:00:09,042 --> 00:00:11,745
Turkey plays the name game.
7
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,981
Russia's regifting grain.
8
00:00:14,081 --> 00:00:16,917
And Eliot Schrefer.
9
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:20,921
This is The Daily Show
with Trevor Noah.
10
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,056
-♪ ♪
-(cheering and applause)
11
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,802
What's going on, everybody?
Welcome to The Daily Show!
12
00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:36,870
I'm Trevor Noah.
13
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,472
Thank you so much for tuning in!
14
00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:40,841
Thank you for coming out
in person!
15
00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:42,543
So much fun!
16
00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:44,011
So much fun! Look at you guys!
17
00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:45,812
Take a seat, everybody.
Take a seat.
18
00:00:45,913 --> 00:00:47,080
Take a seat.
19
00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:49,716
We've got a jam-packed show
for you today.
20
00:00:49,816 --> 00:00:52,486
The nation of Turkey
is tired of your jokes,
21
00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:54,254
CNN is done with breaking news,
22
00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:57,858
and Vladimir Putin blesses
the grains down in Africa.
23
00:00:57,958 --> 00:01:00,260
What does that even mean?
Well, stay tuned to find out.
24
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,896
Plus, we've got author
Eliot Schrefer on the show
25
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,965
to tell us about gay animals.
26
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,066
Yeah, I said that.
27
00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:07,334
So let's do this, people.
28
00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:09,736
Let's jump straight
into today's headlines.
29
00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:11,872
-♪ ♪
-(cheering and applause)
30
00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:18,378
Okay.
31
00:01:18,478 --> 00:01:22,216
Our first story
is all about language.
32
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,384
Like when I say
the word "turkey,"
33
00:01:24,484 --> 00:01:25,485
what do you think of?
34
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:26,954
Probably a big bird
that people eat
35
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,255
while arguing with their family
36
00:01:28,355 --> 00:01:29,823
about whether or not
gender is a spectrum, right?
37
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,325
Yeah?
38
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,327
Well, the country of Turkey
knows
39
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,796
that's what you think about
when you hear their name,
40
00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:37,497
and they're sick of that shit.
41
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,267
The country of Turkey
is ready to change its name.
42
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:42,669
Officials have notified
the United Nations,
43
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:46,406
asking that the country
be referred to as "Türkiye,"
44
00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:48,909
the way it's spelled
and pronounced in Turkish.
45
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:51,211
It's a way to disassociate
its name from the bird
46
00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:54,114
and negative connotations
that sometimes come with it.
47
00:01:54,147 --> 00:01:56,116
NEWSMAN: The official request
follows the release
48
00:01:56,149 --> 00:01:58,185
of an ad campaign
promoting the new name.
49
00:01:58,285 --> 00:01:59,553
Hey, Mom. I just landed.
50
00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:01,321
-Oh, hello, Türkiye!
-(chuckles)
51
00:02:01,421 --> 00:02:03,423
Hello, Türkiye.
52
00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:06,226
ALL:
Hello, Türkiye! (whooping)
53
00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:08,729
Hello, Türkiye!
54
00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:10,197
'Ey!
55
00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:11,465
Türkiye!
56
00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:13,133
I like this. I like this.
57
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:15,469
And I-I'm willing. I'm willing
to start saying "Türkiye."
58
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,704
I don't mind. But I refuse
59
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,674
to use those little dots
over the "U." All right?
60
00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:21,975
And this has nothing to do
with Turkey
61
00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:23,410
and everything to do
with drawing a line
62
00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:26,079
for how many keyboards
I'm willing to have on my phone.
63
00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:27,481
I'm already three keyboards
deep.
64
00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:29,850
I've got emoji keyboards.
I got my gif keyboard.
65
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:32,085
Then my symbols keyboard.
Then a secret symbols keyboard
66
00:02:32,119 --> 00:02:34,121
behind that keyboard. Now I got
to add another keyboard
67
00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:36,190
so I can type a "U" with
the dots that makes it look like
68
00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:38,725
it's staring at me?
It's too much!
69
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,128
It's too much, Türkiye.
70
00:02:41,228 --> 00:02:42,462
And I know what some of you
are saying right now.
71
00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:44,364
You're like, "Oh, Trevor,
you don't need another keyboard.
72
00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:45,799
You can just hold down
the 'U' key."
73
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:48,535
Yeah. But it's about
the extra effort.
74
00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:50,671
If you use your thumbs too much,
they're gonna bulk up.
75
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:53,640
I'm trying to get mine long and
slender for the summer, baby.
76
00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:55,609
That's right.
77
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,678
So I'll say "Türkiye,"
78
00:02:57,778 --> 00:02:59,213
but you got to help me help you.
79
00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:02,115
And not the "U" with the dots,
Türkiye. All right?
80
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:03,917
'Cause, no, I-I get
why Turkey's doing this.
81
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,118
I get it.
82
00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:07,788
A country's name is its brand.
83
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,524
Nobody wants their brand
associated with an animal
84
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:12,559
that people
don't even like that much.
85
00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:14,228
I mean, if you're gonna get
mistaken for a bird,
86
00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:16,897
at least let it be a bird
with some flavor, some juice.
87
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:18,932
You know? Like,
if their country was named
88
00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:21,268
Spicy Chicken Sandwich,
89
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,237
they wouldn't be changing
anything.
90
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,273
I will say, Turkey should
just know this though--
91
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,875
just because they got the U.N.
to agree on this
92
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,710
doesn't mean that people
are actually gonna start
93
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,078
calling them Türkiye.
94
00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:32,379
It's not that easy.
95
00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:34,181
Trust me, I know this.
Back in middle school,
96
00:03:34,281 --> 00:03:37,117
I tried to get everyone
to call me Trevolva.
97
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,952
-(laughter)
-Yeah.
98
00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:41,488
And they just laughed,
like you guys did now.
99
00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:42,923
They said it was a stupid name.
100
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:45,325
Which I guess, in retrospect,
it kind of was. You know?
101
00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:46,560
Unless you guys like it. No?
102
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:49,162
Okay, fine. Trevolva,
Trevolva, no, is stupid.
103
00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:50,631
Forget it. Let's move on.
104
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,399
Wait, did someone say
it was c-cool? No? Okay.
105
00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:53,700
Any...
106
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,102
I just thought I heard
someone say it is a cool--
107
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:57,738
'Cause it could-- No?
All right, still no. All right.
108
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,174
I actually think
this is a good idea.
109
00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:01,441
You know what?
A lot of countries
110
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:03,610
should be updating
their names. Yeah.
111
00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:05,345
They just update it
to-to make it modern.
112
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:08,448
Like this isn't
the United States of America.
113
00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:09,917
Let's be honest, it's more like
114
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,152
the States that Barely Put Up
with Each Other of America.
115
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,620
Yeah?
116
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,089
Every country.
117
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:17,925
Like, "Greece"
makes it sound messy,
118
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:19,459
but it's not.
119
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,462
"Hungary."
What if they've eaten, huh?
120
00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:24,631
Yeah. Niger.
121
00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:27,501
Oh, you need to change that name
to be safe.
122
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:30,070
You just need to change
that name to be safe.
123
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,738
I bet you right now
124
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:35,475
they're losing
a ton of white people tourism
125
00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,211
'cause there's a lot of
white people who are too nervous
126
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:39,179
to type that into Expedia.
127
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:43,150
Just like,
"I'm heading to N-I-G...
128
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:44,451
"You know what?
I'm just going to Paris.
129
00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:45,886
"I'm just gonna go to Paris.
130
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:47,387
"I'm just going to go to Paris.
131
00:04:47,487 --> 00:04:48,622
"I don't want any trouble here.
132
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,123
I'm just going to Paris."
133
00:04:50,224 --> 00:04:54,595
(applause and cheering)
134
00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:56,530
But let's move on
to other international news.
135
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,465
Because while Turkey
is changing its name,
136
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,834
Russia has spent
the past three months trying
137
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:03,036
to change Ukraine's name
to "Russia, Jr."
138
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:06,373
But Ukraine isn't
the only country suffering
139
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,041
from Russia's invasion. Yeah.
140
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,511
What many people might not know
is that Ukraine is one
141
00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:13,413
of the world's top producers
of grain.
142
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,048
But as part of its invasion,
143
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,917
Russia is blocking
Ukraine's ports
144
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,252
and intercepting the grain.
145
00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:21,355
So now, the world is facing
a grain shortage,
146
00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:24,224
which Russia
is taking advantage of.
147
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:27,494
The U.S. has given now
about 14 countries a heads-up
148
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:30,364
about stolen Ukrainian grain.
149
00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:33,600
U.S. officials say that Russia
stole grain from Ukraine,
150
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:36,637
and alerted these other
countries, mainly in Africa,
151
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,505
that Russia
will probably sell it.
152
00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:41,441
Policy experts say,
faced with starvation,
153
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,277
most countries in the area
154
00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:45,279
likely won't hesitate
to buy from Russia.
155
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:47,314
NEWSWOMAN 2: The director
of one African think tank
156
00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:48,715
told the New York Times...
157
00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:58,258
Okay, okay,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
158
00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,660
I get what you're saying,
159
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,762
but "Africans don't care
where they get their food from."
160
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,797
Come on. Don't put it like that.
161
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:06,400
Yes, some parts of Africa
are suffering from famine,
162
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:09,636
and their leaders can't afford
to take the moral high ground
163
00:06:09,736 --> 00:06:11,438
because they need the food,
but not just,
164
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:13,640
"Africans don't care
where they get their food from."
165
00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:15,776
It makes it sound
like us Africans--
166
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,344
we're just running around
on the sidewalk,
167
00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:19,346
grabbing people's brunches
out of their plates.
168
00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:21,181
-(laughter)
-Just like, "Ha, ha!
169
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:22,516
"You did not guard your brioche.
170
00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:23,884
"It's mine now, huh?
171
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:27,054
Ha, ha!"
172
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:28,856
And by the way,
just in case you're wondering,
173
00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:30,657
Africans are going
to use the grain
174
00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:32,893
to make, like,
bread and shit, okay?
175
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,661
These stories always
make it sound
176
00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:37,397
like Africans are just gonna eat
the grain right out of the sack.
177
00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:39,099
Make it sound like that with us.
178
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:40,467
It's just like,
"Ah, we love this!
179
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,936
Ah! Put the grain
in my mouth, huh? Ah."
180
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,505
I know that's what you guys
are picturing in your heads.
181
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,540
I know it.
I said, "We need grain,"
182
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,108
and you guys were like,
"I guess they eat grain.
183
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:49,710
I guess that's what they do."
184
00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:51,712
We cook!
185
00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:54,147
The situation is
really messed up.
186
00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:56,183
Not only is Russia stealing
Ukraine's grain.
187
00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:58,719
They're causing a food shortage
in the rest of the world.
188
00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:00,320
And then,
they're gonna sell the grain
189
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,023
to make up for the shortage
that they're causing.
190
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:04,858
And can we just take a moment
to acknowledge
191
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:07,394
how humiliating this is
for Russia? Huh?
192
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:09,396
When they started this invasion,
Putin was like,
193
00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:12,165
"Our glorious army
will conquer Ukraine
194
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,635
for new Russian empire."
195
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,036
And now, he's just like,
"Okay, Plan B.
196
00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:17,437
"Let's just rub this bitch,
okay?
197
00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:18,906
"We're just going to steal it.
198
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:20,407
We're just going
to steal now."
199
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,409
(applause and cheering)
200
00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:26,613
"Plan B."
201
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:28,182
Yeah, you went
from being all high and mighty,
202
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:30,350
and now, the dude's basically
on the corner in Africa like,
203
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,718
"You-you want grain?
I got grain.
204
00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:33,487
"You want grain?
I got grain.
205
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:34,821
"I also got Rolex.
I got Rolex.
206
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:36,156
"Just the good stuff.
just the good stuff.
207
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:37,858
You want grain?
I got grain."
208
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,260
(applause)
209
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,930
But let's move on
from the war in Ukraine
210
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:45,065
to the war zone that is America.
211
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:46,934
Ever since
the Uvalde school shooting,
212
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,235
Congress has been working hard
213
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:50,571
to craft sensible
gun safety measures
214
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:52,739
that can be narrowly defeated
at the last minute.
215
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,943
But a lot of people are trying
to make this time different.
216
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:58,879
I mean, just today, Matthew
McConaughey, who's from Uvalde,
217
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,381
was at the White House
pushing for reforms.
218
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:05,719
Unfortunately, though, nobody
really expects a lot to change.
219
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:10,023
Now, that's where there is an
upside to living in "the states
220
00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:12,693
that barely put up with each
other of America," all right?
221
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:15,629
And that is,
individual states can break off
222
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:17,497
and pass their own gun laws,
223
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:19,600
which is exactly
what's happening
224
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,535
right here in New York.
225
00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:23,937
New York bolstered
its already tough gun laws,
226
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:25,572
some of the strictest
in the nation.
227
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:28,675
Governor Hochul signed a package
of gun reform bills yesterday.
228
00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:31,678
Now, among them,
a measure that bans the sale
229
00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:34,581
of semi-automatic rifles
to anybody under 21.
230
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:38,252
New buyers are also required
to obtain a permit.
231
00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:40,687
Also, red flag laws
are expanding.
232
00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:43,624
Body armor
for civilians is outlawed,
233
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,626
and ammo for semi-automatic
handguns is required
234
00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:49,062
to be micro-stamped
to make it easier to trace.
235
00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:52,065
Hochul celebrated the new laws
in the Bronx.
236
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:55,369
It just keeps happening.
237
00:08:55,469 --> 00:09:00,073
Shots ring out,
flags come down,
238
00:09:00,174 --> 00:09:04,011
and nothing ever changes,
239
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,079
except here in New York.
240
00:09:06,180 --> 00:09:07,514
Wow.
241
00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:11,618
(applause and cheering)
242
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:14,054
Wow.
243
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,156
This is...
244
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:18,158
This is so weird.
245
00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:21,929
A mass shooting happened, and
then politicians did something.
246
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:23,797
(laughter)
247
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,400
I didn't even know
that that was possible.
248
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:28,468
Yeah, it's like
I showed up to McDonald's,
249
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,037
and the McFlurry machine
is working.
250
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,872
It's just...
251
00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:34,575
I don't know even know
how to react to this. Do--
252
00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:36,210
do I clap?
Am I supposed to tip?
253
00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:37,878
What's a good tip for
passing gun laws, ten percent?
254
00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:39,580
I'm sure it's ten percent.
255
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,114
You know what this feels like,
this feels like when
256
00:09:41,215 --> 00:09:43,050
you're ready to argue with
your partner and before you can
257
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:45,919
say anything,
they just apologize. Right?
258
00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:47,921
Yeah, now you got a throat
full of screams
259
00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:50,224
and nothing to do with it.
Just like,
260
00:09:50,324 --> 00:09:53,293
"Thank you! I appreciate
your apology. I love you, too."
261
00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:57,965
And New York made a lot
of changes. For instance,
262
00:09:58,065 --> 00:10:00,868
it's raising the minimum age
on semi-automatic rifles,
263
00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:03,770
which seems like
common sense to me. You know?
264
00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:05,772
Although, in my opinion,
instead of 21,
265
00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:08,809
I feel like it should be
21 and four days.
266
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:10,410
Yeah, 'cause I don't want
someone buying a gun
267
00:10:10,511 --> 00:10:12,679
on the same night that they're
slamming ten shots of Jäger.
268
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,649
Just spread it out. You know?
269
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:17,618
New York is also
gonna be banning body armor,
270
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:19,386
and that makes sense. Right.
271
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:22,756
In fact, this is the first
state in the country to do it,
272
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,691
which is a great idea.
In fact, they should also
273
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,094
ban Under Armour
while they're at it.
274
00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:28,662
Yeah, it's not
about the shootings.
275
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,297
I'm just tired of seeing
people's nipples on the train.
276
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,833
You know?
I get it-- you work out.
277
00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:39,006
And I know-- I know
some people are saying,
278
00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:41,041
"But wait, I'm not a shooter.
279
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,910
I just want body armor
for my protection."
280
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:46,013
Don't worry.
You don't need body armor.
281
00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:47,848
All right? If you're not
doing anything nefarious,
282
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:49,917
you don't need body armor. Yeah.
283
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:52,886
Something I've learned from
American movies is that you just
284
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,389
need to keep precious
family heirloom on your body.
285
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:57,958
That stops any bullet. Anytime.
286
00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,092
Just like,
(imitates gunshot)
287
00:10:59,193 --> 00:11:00,394
"Oh!
288
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:03,130
Thank God, my mom's Bible
stopped the bullets."
289
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:06,733
(imitates gunshot)
"Ah! Oh, thank goodness,
290
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:09,369
my grandpa's pocket watch
saved me."
291
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:11,738
(imitates gunshot)
"Oh! Thank God I carry Grandma's
292
00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,974
"cherished dildo with me
all the time.
293
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:17,811
"Saved my life once again.
Thank you, Grandma.
294
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,746
Thank you so much."
295
00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:26,253
I'm just gonna let that
soak in for a second.
296
00:11:28,589 --> 00:11:32,726
All right, finally, let's
move on to a story about CNN,
297
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:35,195
which stands for
Cable News... Ninjas?
298
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:39,099
Anyway, for years, CNN has been
notorious for overhyping
299
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:42,102
every story like it's, you
know, the zombie apocalypse.
300
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,338
They're just like, "Breaking
news-- the midterm elections
301
00:11:44,438 --> 00:11:48,208
are now six months away!"
302
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:51,178
And, not surprisingly, this
approach has started to backfire
303
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:52,679
as viewers have learned
to tune it out, you know,
304
00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:54,515
like the boy who cried wolf.
305
00:11:54,615 --> 00:11:56,416
Or, in this case,
the Wolf who cried wolf.
306
00:11:56,517 --> 00:11:58,685
So, because of that...
307
00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:02,289
because of that,
CNN is making a big change.
308
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:03,724
We start here
with breaking news
309
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:06,627
about breaking news
involving CNN.
310
00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:09,229
The network has a new boss
and he says CNN is now
311
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:12,566
cutting back on overhyping
everything as "breaking news,"
312
00:12:12,666 --> 00:12:14,668
so much so that CNN
has actually added
313
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:18,438
a breaking news guideline
to its style book.
314
00:12:18,539 --> 00:12:21,542
So you'll soon see a lot less
of that breaking news banner
315
00:12:21,642 --> 00:12:23,076
at the bottom
of the TV screen.
316
00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:26,413
Yes, CNN is cutting back
on the overuse of breaking news
317
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,916
And, to celebrate,
it immediately put up
318
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,584
a countdown clock to the moment
when it'll officially
319
00:12:30,684 --> 00:12:33,086
reduce the amount
of breaking news.
320
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:36,089
Very exciting.
One thing at a time.
321
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:39,993
Look-- look, people,
322
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,329
the truth is--
the truth is most stories
323
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,932
aren't giant news in that way.
I'm glad they're doing this.
324
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,300
You know?
Great job, Chris Licht.
325
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:49,369
There's only been, like,
three breaking news stories
326
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,371
of the past two decades.
Let's be honest. Like,
327
00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:54,508
9/11, coronavirus
and that time
328
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:58,445
that guy put salt on his food,
but from up here.
329
00:12:58,545 --> 00:13:01,381
Yeah, most people put the salt
from, like, down here,
330
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:03,817
but he did it from up here, yo.
331
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,385
That dude changed the game.
332
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:09,456
It's a technique,
it's a whole thing.
333
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:10,924
And now that CNN
is acknowledging this,
334
00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:13,060
now that they're acknowledging
that not everything
335
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:15,729
is breaking news, maybe--
just maybe--
336
00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:18,165
all of cable news
can acknowledge
337
00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:20,801
that maybe news doesn't
need to be 24 hours?
338
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:23,837
Maybe? Huh?
It's not necessary, you know?
339
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:26,406
Maybe you-you can wait
to get all the facts
340
00:13:26,507 --> 00:13:29,209
and tell us the correct story
at the end of the day.
341
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:32,946
Ju-Just me?
342
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,284
Possibly.
343
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:39,119
I mean, think about it.
Think about it.
344
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:42,256
Think about it, honestly.
The first ten hours
345
00:13:42,356 --> 00:13:45,759
of any news story on
cable news is just speculation.
346
00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:47,861
Breaking news.
We're hearing that
347
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:50,330
a tiger has escaped from the zoo
348
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,866
and mauled ten people.
349
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:54,768
It's a sad day--
Hold on, hold on.
350
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,603
Slight clarification.
We're now hearing
351
00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:59,006
that the tiger was in the mall,
352
00:13:59,106 --> 00:14:02,075
and the mall has ten people.
353
00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:04,178
Everybody is alive and--
Oh, hold on.
354
00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:06,446
Our-our sources on the ground
are telling us
355
00:14:06,547 --> 00:14:09,316
it's not a tiger, it's a panda.
356
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:11,351
Express.
357
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:14,087
There is a Panda Express
in the mall.
358
00:14:14,188 --> 00:14:15,556
We're gonna stay
on top of this story
359
00:14:15,656 --> 00:14:17,090
for the next 24 hours.
360
00:14:17,191 --> 00:14:19,259
Breaking news.
361
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:21,395
(cheering and applause)
362
00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:28,335
Here's the thing.
Even when there is news,
363
00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:30,070
most of it isn't that exciting,
right?
364
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:33,106
It's just everyday stuff
that's boring but important.
365
00:14:33,207 --> 00:14:34,808
The economy's up,
the economy's down.
366
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,076
The government
is doing something
367
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:38,245
or, more likely,
not doing something, you know?
368
00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,714
So this is good.
And to lower expectations,
369
00:14:40,814 --> 00:14:44,618
CNN is actually replacing
breaking news
370
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:47,955
with a new graphic for stories
that are just normal stuff,
371
00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:51,925
and we have an exclusive look
at what that'll be.
372
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:54,094
♪ ♪
373
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,097
(alarm blaring)
374
00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:01,502
It's perfect.
I think they did a great job.
375
00:15:01,602 --> 00:15:03,437
Well done, CNN.
376
00:15:03,537 --> 00:15:06,406
All right!
That's it for the headlines,
377
00:15:06,507 --> 00:15:08,509
but before we go to a break,
378
00:15:08,609 --> 00:15:09,810
let's check in
on the stock market
379
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:12,379
with our finance expert,
Michael Kosta, everybody!
380
00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:14,515
(cheering and applause)
381
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:17,851
-What's going on, Michael?
-Yeah.
382
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:19,353
-More importantly...
-Yeah. Yeah.
383
00:15:19,453 --> 00:15:20,454
More importantly, Michael,
384
00:15:20,554 --> 00:15:21,755
what's happening
in the market today?
385
00:15:21,855 --> 00:15:24,258
Well, I am crushing the markets.
386
00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:26,560
I mean, I-I crush all markets.
387
00:15:26,660 --> 00:15:29,730
Financial markets,
uh, Whole Foods Market,
388
00:15:29,830 --> 00:15:32,232
where I actually had to get
a second job.
389
00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:34,168
But, uh, I have a hot tip.
390
00:15:34,268 --> 00:15:35,536
I'm gonna share it with you.
A hot tip.
391
00:15:35,636 --> 00:15:36,937
And I'm gonna share a hot tip
with you.
392
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,639
-So, we'll get into the markets,
okay? -Oh, all right.
393
00:15:38,739 --> 00:15:40,073
-Let's do it.
-Here we go. Actually, actually,
394
00:15:40,174 --> 00:15:41,909
before we do that, that story
about the African nations
395
00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:44,077
-buying the grain, you know?
-Yeah.
396
00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:47,181
I mean, I... Why do we put
this responsibility on them
397
00:15:47,281 --> 00:15:48,615
to know
where their grain comes from?
398
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:50,484
I mean, we don't even know
where our food comes from.
399
00:15:50,584 --> 00:15:53,086
-Right. -You know? I've probably
enjoyed multiple avocados
400
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,555
from the Sinaloa Cartel,
401
00:15:54,655 --> 00:15:57,591
you know,
and I-I sleep fine at night.
402
00:15:57,691 --> 00:16:00,861
But I would say this
to these African nations.
403
00:16:01,028 --> 00:16:03,630
Don't love this grain too much.
This is white people grain,
404
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:06,033
and you might develop
a gluten intolerance, okay?
405
00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:08,468
Now, look,
it's not gonna kill you,
406
00:16:08,569 --> 00:16:11,638
but it's gonna make you
very annoying, all right?
407
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:14,575
Next thing you know,
you're gonna be in Tanzania,
408
00:16:14,675 --> 00:16:16,710
doing yoga with Gwyneth Paltrow
409
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:19,880
while a vagina candle is lit
in the back.
410
00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:21,315
So, all right.
411
00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:23,383
-(laughter)
-Now, these markets...
412
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,052
(cheering and applause)
413
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:27,154
Oh, oh. And Turkey.
414
00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:28,822
-Turkey changing its name.
-Yeah. Yeah.
415
00:16:28,922 --> 00:16:30,757
-I love this. I love...
-Right?
416
00:16:30,858 --> 00:16:32,259
You know, I love this.
It got me thinking.
417
00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:35,529
I feel like South Africa
should do this.
418
00:16:35,629 --> 00:16:37,231
-Wait.
-I-I-I do. Look,
419
00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:40,067
part of what's great
about being a country in Africa
420
00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:41,435
is you get to have
this beautiful name.
421
00:16:41,535 --> 00:16:44,238
Uganda, Senegal, Namibia.
422
00:16:44,338 --> 00:16:46,073
South Africa?
423
00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:49,076
I mean,
what happened with South Africa?
424
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:51,078
You just went off the top
of your head, Trevor? I mean...
425
00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:53,747
-Well, what do you mean?
-You're fr... You're from there.
426
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:56,617
-Yeah, but it's not like I named
it. I didn't name it. -What?
427
00:16:56,717 --> 00:16:59,119
-I'm just... I'm... -Are there
other people from South Africa?
428
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:01,021
-WOMAN: Yeah!
-Yeah, there's, like, six of us.
429
00:17:01,088 --> 00:17:02,656
-Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
-You know what I mean?
430
00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:04,391
Great. Great. Great, great.
431
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:06,727
Okay. All right.
Okay. Okay. All right. Great.
432
00:17:06,827 --> 00:17:08,262
-Let's get to the markets.
-Let's just do the markets.
433
00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:09,596
Let's get...
Okay, I'll do the markets. Um...
434
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,665
So, look, this is volatile.
435
00:17:11,765 --> 00:17:14,668
It's almost as volatile
as a teenage Michael Kosta
436
00:17:14,768 --> 00:17:15,869
at a 311 concert.
437
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:18,505
But, look, when you step back,
438
00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:20,307
take a look at all of this.
439
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:21,775
What do you see dominating?
440
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:25,145
I see
this green line dominating.
441
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:27,414
It's the least volatile
of everything here,
442
00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:28,882
which is why I advise you,
443
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:30,851
be the green line, right?
444
00:17:30,951 --> 00:17:33,220
When you have your money,
be the green line.
445
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:34,354
Second thing to think about.
446
00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:35,722
You see these squares
right here?
447
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:38,759
Now, I have spent a lot of time
448
00:17:38,859 --> 00:17:41,195
analyzing the dimensions,
449
00:17:41,295 --> 00:17:44,231
the feel,
the size of each square, okay?
450
00:17:44,331 --> 00:17:47,968
Now, these squares,
they don't mean anything, okay?
451
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,537
Last thing.
You see all this red?
452
00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:53,540
Typically,
red is bad in finances,
453
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,542
but Michael Kosta,
financial expert,
454
00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:57,344
will tell you,
when you have red,
455
00:17:57,444 --> 00:18:00,314
like a stoplight, stop.
Wait till it turns green.
456
00:18:00,414 --> 00:18:02,716
Okay? So, in summary,
457
00:18:02,816 --> 00:18:04,651
all right, green lines,
458
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,821
no squares, red turns green.
459
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:10,023
Boom. Now, here's my hot tip.
460
00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:12,759
-This is... Okay. Yeah.
-My hot tip, Trevor, okay?
461
00:18:12,860 --> 00:18:16,330
-Invest in Turkey. Boom.
-Wait, wait, wait, wait.
462
00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:17,865
Turkey the food
or Turkey the country?
463
00:18:18,031 --> 00:18:20,467
Well, that is
the million-dollar question.
464
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,236
Okay? Now, I got to go.
465
00:18:22,336 --> 00:18:24,037
I got to go to Whole Foods
for a shift.
466
00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:26,773
Steve in produce got COVID,
so...
467
00:18:26,874 --> 00:18:28,208
(laughter)
468
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:30,177
-I-I don't know why you have...
-(cheering and applause)
469
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:31,778
Back to you, Trevor.
470
00:18:31,879 --> 00:18:34,348
Why do you need another job?
Michael Kosta, everybody.
471
00:18:34,448 --> 00:18:36,083
Don't go away,
'cause when we come back,
472
00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:37,851
Roy Wood Jr.
is gonna try to make friends
473
00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:40,420
with right-wing extremists.
You don't want to miss it.
474
00:18:40,521 --> 00:18:42,556
(cheering and applause)
475
00:18:48,615 --> 00:18:50,650
(cheering and applause)
476
00:18:56,823 --> 00:18:58,992
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
477
00:18:59,092 --> 00:19:03,596
You know, politics is
so polarized in this country
478
00:19:03,696 --> 00:19:05,331
that America needs a leader
479
00:19:05,432 --> 00:19:07,767
who can bring the two sides
together.
480
00:19:07,867 --> 00:19:10,637
But, instead, we'll have
to settle for Roy Wood Jr.
481
00:19:10,737 --> 00:19:13,940
in a new segment we call
Disagree to Disagree.
482
00:19:14,908 --> 00:19:16,242
♪ ♪
483
00:19:16,342 --> 00:19:18,645
America is too divided.
484
00:19:18,745 --> 00:19:21,448
Republicans versus Democrats.
485
00:19:21,548 --> 00:19:25,852
Billionaires versus billions of
the rest of us broke bastards.
486
00:19:25,952 --> 00:19:28,588
Karens versus everybody.
487
00:19:28,688 --> 00:19:31,524
That's why I'm reaching out
to the other side
488
00:19:31,624 --> 00:19:33,993
to see if I can't find
common ground
489
00:19:34,094 --> 00:19:37,263
with people
I disagree with strongly.
490
00:19:37,363 --> 00:19:40,100
For this story,
I traveled to Idaho
491
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,635
or Montana or...
492
00:19:42,735 --> 00:19:43,636
Wyoming--
493
00:19:43,736 --> 00:19:45,238
somewhere with no Black people--
494
00:19:45,338 --> 00:19:47,740
to meet
anti-government extremist
495
00:19:47,841 --> 00:19:51,111
and big-hat enthusiast
Ammon Bundy
496
00:19:51,211 --> 00:19:53,079
and see if I could get him
497
00:19:53,179 --> 00:19:56,015
to disagree to disagree.
498
00:19:56,116 --> 00:19:58,151
♪ ♪
499
00:19:59,719 --> 00:20:02,455
BUNDY: Doesn't matter if they
call it Republican or Democrat,
500
00:20:02,555 --> 00:20:04,624
it is poison to liberty.
501
00:20:04,724 --> 00:20:06,993
(applause)
502
00:20:07,060 --> 00:20:09,362
WOOD: You might remember Bundy
from a 2014 standoff
503
00:20:09,462 --> 00:20:11,364
with the government
over grazing rights.
504
00:20:11,464 --> 00:20:12,799
This is our land!
505
00:20:12,899 --> 00:20:14,400
WOOD: Or from a standoff
with the government
506
00:20:14,501 --> 00:20:16,436
at a nature preserve in 2016.
507
00:20:16,536 --> 00:20:19,105
Ammon Bundy, who pointed guns
at law enforcement,
508
00:20:19,205 --> 00:20:21,808
uh, in Arizona,
now he's doing it in Oregon.
509
00:20:21,908 --> 00:20:25,011
WOOD: Or from his protests
against state COVID restrictions
510
00:20:25,111 --> 00:20:26,112
in Idaho.
511
00:20:26,212 --> 00:20:28,548
This dude is in
a lot of standoffs.
512
00:20:28,648 --> 00:20:31,217
And now a guy
who spent two years in prison
513
00:20:31,317 --> 00:20:32,886
for fighting
the federal government
514
00:20:33,019 --> 00:20:35,021
before getting out on a mistrial
515
00:20:35,054 --> 00:20:37,690
is running for governor
of Idaho.
516
00:20:37,791 --> 00:20:39,759
BUNDY:
As governor,
517
00:20:39,859 --> 00:20:42,362
I will keep Idaho Idaho.
518
00:20:42,462 --> 00:20:43,430
WOOD:
The hell does that mean,
519
00:20:43,530 --> 00:20:45,498
besides growing potatoes?
520
00:20:45,598 --> 00:20:48,635
I decided to talk
to some of Bundy's supporters.
521
00:20:48,735 --> 00:20:52,505
Ammon is definitely a threat
to the old boy network in Idaho.
522
00:20:52,605 --> 00:20:54,441
Why? You know, I don't need
523
00:20:54,541 --> 00:20:56,509
the government
to tell me how to act.
524
00:20:56,609 --> 00:20:59,245
-So Ammon Bundy
for less governor? -Yes.
525
00:20:59,345 --> 00:21:00,780
Our rights don't come
from the government.
526
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:02,782
Our rights come from God, okay?
527
00:21:02,882 --> 00:21:05,852
And certain people have said,
"You know what?
528
00:21:05,985 --> 00:21:08,021
-The buck has
to stop somewhere." -Okay.
529
00:21:08,121 --> 00:21:10,790
But you are Black and in Idaho.
How did that happen?
530
00:21:10,890 --> 00:21:12,759
So, I'm, like,
third generation here.
531
00:21:12,859 --> 00:21:13,860
-Yeah.
-Okay.
532
00:21:13,993 --> 00:21:16,429
Ammon Bundy is willing to do
533
00:21:16,529 --> 00:21:18,031
what it takes to defend liberty,
534
00:21:18,131 --> 00:21:19,899
just like Rosa Parks did
on the bus.
535
00:21:19,999 --> 00:21:23,603
WOOD: I had to meet
with this white male version
536
00:21:23,703 --> 00:21:25,171
of Sister Rosa.
537
00:21:26,639 --> 00:21:29,342
Okay, so you've been
called a militia leader,
538
00:21:29,442 --> 00:21:32,579
you have been called,
uh, the "T" word.
539
00:21:32,679 --> 00:21:33,913
-Domestic.
-Domestic terrorist.
540
00:21:34,013 --> 00:21:35,648
-Domestic terrorist, yeah.
-How do you not
541
00:21:35,749 --> 00:21:39,185
come across
as an anti-government person
542
00:21:39,285 --> 00:21:41,821
who's now becoming part
of the government?
543
00:21:41,921 --> 00:21:44,224
Well, I want people
to use the land
544
00:21:44,324 --> 00:21:46,493
as God intended,
545
00:21:46,593 --> 00:21:49,996
and for the government
just to leave them alone,
546
00:21:50,096 --> 00:21:51,464
other than to protect them.
547
00:21:51,564 --> 00:21:52,966
You know, like,
when you were a child,
548
00:21:53,032 --> 00:21:54,267
your daddy would be all
in your business,
549
00:21:54,367 --> 00:21:55,568
come in your room,
go through your toys.
550
00:21:55,668 --> 00:21:57,771
That's-that's government now.
551
00:21:57,871 --> 00:22:01,107
What we really want
is a stepdaddy government
552
00:22:01,207 --> 00:22:02,709
that comes in and just goes,
553
00:22:02,809 --> 00:22:05,745
"Hey, don't kill each other.
I'll be outside drinking."
554
00:22:05,845 --> 00:22:08,114
Well, yeah, unless one of them
tries to infringe
555
00:22:08,214 --> 00:22:09,716
upon another person's right.
556
00:22:09,816 --> 00:22:12,986
WOOD: Clearly, finding common
ground would not be easy,
557
00:22:13,052 --> 00:22:16,222
and sure enough,
Bundy and I disagreed on a range
558
00:22:16,322 --> 00:22:18,124
of issues from taxes...
559
00:22:18,224 --> 00:22:20,860
I don't believe that
property tax is a moral tax.
560
00:22:20,994 --> 00:22:22,662
WOOD:
...to the social safety net...
561
00:22:22,762 --> 00:22:26,199
Never should I say, "Look,
Joe over here is needing help,
562
00:22:26,299 --> 00:22:28,601
"and I'm going to force you
with the barrel of the gun
563
00:22:28,701 --> 00:22:31,438
to give me $150
so I can give it to Joe."
564
00:22:31,538 --> 00:22:32,839
-That's right.
-It's immoral.
565
00:22:33,006 --> 00:22:34,174
(bleep) you, Joe.
566
00:22:34,274 --> 00:22:35,508
WOOD: ...and the definition
of slavery.
567
00:22:35,608 --> 00:22:37,010
And then, pretty soon,
you end up
568
00:22:37,043 --> 00:22:39,846
with 30% of the people providing
for the other 70%.
569
00:22:40,013 --> 00:22:41,114
That's slavery.
570
00:22:41,214 --> 00:22:42,615
WOOD:
And that's all before we got
571
00:22:42,715 --> 00:22:47,053
to the King Kong of
divisive issues today-- COVID.
572
00:22:47,153 --> 00:22:48,621
Government will go as far
573
00:22:48,721 --> 00:22:50,690
as they--
the people allow them to go,
574
00:22:50,790 --> 00:22:53,693
which is all the way
to genocide.
575
00:22:53,793 --> 00:22:57,697
-Explain genocide.
-Well, let's look at the 1930s.
576
00:22:57,797 --> 00:23:00,467
What was the Nazis claiming?
What was their excuse?
577
00:23:00,567 --> 00:23:02,702
It was a national health
emergency
578
00:23:02,802 --> 00:23:05,872
that the Jews and the Blacks,
579
00:23:05,972 --> 00:23:08,308
that their genes were inferior.
580
00:23:08,408 --> 00:23:09,876
And ultimately
decided that they needed
581
00:23:09,976 --> 00:23:11,277
to even put them to death.
582
00:23:11,377 --> 00:23:13,246
-So-- -Like, there weren't,
like, Jews and Blacks
583
00:23:13,346 --> 00:23:16,983
dying in droves before Hitler
came in and did what he did.
584
00:23:17,083 --> 00:23:20,120
He chose to start doing that.
Whereas, at least with COVID,
585
00:23:20,220 --> 00:23:22,422
there was, "Oh, there's
a bunch of dead people.
586
00:23:22,522 --> 00:23:23,890
-How do we stop this?
People are dying." -Yeah.
587
00:23:23,990 --> 00:23:26,025
So, do you-you--
you're saying you believe
588
00:23:26,126 --> 00:23:27,627
what the government is saying.
589
00:23:27,727 --> 00:23:29,629
-I'm s--
-You believe the reports.
590
00:23:29,729 --> 00:23:31,331
'Cause they're so honest, right?
And they're so good.
591
00:23:31,431 --> 00:23:34,000
How do I get the information
you got?
592
00:23:34,100 --> 00:23:35,835
-You can get it.
-Why-- 'Cause, any time
593
00:23:36,002 --> 00:23:38,304
people go, "I've done the
research," they never say where.
594
00:23:38,404 --> 00:23:40,273
-It's everywhere, and--
-No, that's not an answer!
595
00:23:40,373 --> 00:23:42,008
-Where the (bleep) is it, Mr.
Bundy? -Well, I can give it
596
00:23:42,041 --> 00:23:43,510
-I need to know! -to you, I can
give it to you if you want.
597
00:23:43,610 --> 00:23:45,645
I mean, do you want to go over
it right here on my phone?
598
00:23:45,745 --> 00:23:47,213
Everybody say they done
the research,
599
00:23:47,313 --> 00:23:49,682
-(stammering) -but they can
never give me a www.
600
00:23:49,783 --> 00:23:52,085
And I haven't asked Bundy
about his history
601
00:23:52,185 --> 00:23:53,953
of armed standoffs
against the government.
602
00:23:54,053 --> 00:23:56,956
Well, so, these accusations
603
00:23:56,990 --> 00:23:59,793
of me associating
with violent groups--
604
00:23:59,959 --> 00:24:03,430
never once have we ever
done anything violent.
605
00:24:03,530 --> 00:24:05,698
You're like a Gandhi
of the Rocky Mountains.
606
00:24:05,799 --> 00:24:08,735
I just can't get down
with armed occupations,
607
00:24:08,835 --> 00:24:10,603
especially when they end
with death and prison.
608
00:24:10,703 --> 00:24:13,640
Seemed like finding common
ground was just too hard.
609
00:24:13,740 --> 00:24:16,743
But then Bundy surprised me.
610
00:24:16,843 --> 00:24:19,612
I was in prison for two years,
federal prison.
611
00:24:19,712 --> 00:24:21,614
And you got the whites
are always over here,
612
00:24:21,714 --> 00:24:24,451
and you got the, uh, Mexicans
and the Native Americans.
613
00:24:24,551 --> 00:24:26,886
-Everybody s-sticks with
their own kind. -Yes.
614
00:24:26,986 --> 00:24:28,354
I know I didn't feel that way.
615
00:24:28,455 --> 00:24:31,257
Next thing I know,
I'm out playing basketball
616
00:24:31,357 --> 00:24:34,861
with Black guys.
And... no problem, right?
617
00:24:34,994 --> 00:24:37,263
Um, the white guys might
have a little bit of a problem
618
00:24:37,363 --> 00:24:39,099
with it, so I go back there
and I talk to them and say,
619
00:24:39,199 --> 00:24:41,434
"Hey, look, I'm sorry,
this is the way I roll.
620
00:24:41,534 --> 00:24:43,803
"I'm not a racist,
but we're playing basketball,
621
00:24:43,903 --> 00:24:45,772
-That's right.
-and I really want to win."
622
00:24:45,872 --> 00:24:47,740
Now the guards and the prison
gets all concerned
623
00:24:47,841 --> 00:24:50,443
because the way
they can keep us,
624
00:24:50,543 --> 00:24:52,312
uh, in the prison
625
00:24:52,412 --> 00:24:53,680
is keep us divided,
626
00:24:53,780 --> 00:24:55,482
and that's what's happening
in society.
627
00:24:55,582 --> 00:24:56,783
WOOD:
As someone who also felt abused
628
00:24:56,950 --> 00:24:57,984
by the criminal justice system,
629
00:24:58,084 --> 00:25:00,520
Bundy was even supportive
of a movement
630
00:25:00,620 --> 00:25:02,856
on the opposite side
of the spectrum.
631
00:25:02,956 --> 00:25:04,958
You must have a problem
in your mind
632
00:25:04,991 --> 00:25:08,428
if you think that somehow
that Black Lives Matter
633
00:25:08,528 --> 00:25:10,830
is more dangerous
than the police.
634
00:25:10,964 --> 00:25:14,501
WOOD: What? This cowboy-hatted,
beef-sweating constitutionalist
635
00:25:14,601 --> 00:25:16,336
was siding
with Black Lives Matter
636
00:25:16,436 --> 00:25:18,037
and not the police?
637
00:25:18,138 --> 00:25:20,507
What I'm hearing
is a brother who...
638
00:25:20,607 --> 00:25:21,775
some of his views
639
00:25:21,875 --> 00:25:24,644
kind of line up
with Black Lives Matter.
640
00:25:24,744 --> 00:25:27,781
Well, I think they might line up
with Black people.
641
00:25:27,881 --> 00:25:30,016
And I think they might line up
with white people, too.
642
00:25:30,116 --> 00:25:33,987
And I-I guarantee that if I was
to be able to communicate openly
643
00:25:34,020 --> 00:25:36,589
with the majority of the people
in Black Lives Matter,
644
00:25:36,689 --> 00:25:40,794
that probably 95%, uh,
of-of our beliefs
645
00:25:40,894 --> 00:25:42,629
would-would align
with each other.
646
00:25:42,729 --> 00:25:44,998
-I think that's
some common ground. -Mm.
647
00:25:45,064 --> 00:25:47,567
WOOD: Maybe America
is headed towards a civil war.
648
00:25:47,667 --> 00:25:49,169
But for a moment,
649
00:25:49,269 --> 00:25:52,071
two Americans
who vehemently disagree
650
00:25:52,172 --> 00:25:54,073
found a way to be civil.
651
00:25:54,174 --> 00:25:55,942
Okay, it was a brief moment.
652
00:25:55,975 --> 00:25:57,811
-Yeah, we... Yeah. -You know,
we don't agree on everything.
653
00:25:57,944 --> 00:25:59,112
I just think it's okay,
654
00:25:59,212 --> 00:26:00,947
-and I just wanted
to shake your hand. -Okay.
655
00:26:01,014 --> 00:26:02,515
Good talking to you.
656
00:26:02,615 --> 00:26:05,952
And there's something else
we agree on.
657
00:26:06,052 --> 00:26:08,755
I look damn good
in a cowboy hat.
658
00:26:09,956 --> 00:26:11,124
(cheering and applause)
659
00:26:11,224 --> 00:26:12,592
Thank you so much for that,
Roy Wood Jr.
660
00:26:12,692 --> 00:26:13,793
All right, when we come back,
661
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:15,228
we're gonna be celebrating
Pride Month
662
00:26:15,328 --> 00:26:17,063
with author Eliot Schrefer.
663
00:26:17,163 --> 00:26:18,531
You don't want to miss it.
664
00:26:18,631 --> 00:26:20,667
(cheering and applause)
665
00:37:46,716 --> 00:37:47,850
(cheering and applause)
666
00:37:47,950 --> 00:37:49,619
All right, well,
that's our show for tonight.
667
00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:51,621
But before we go, before we go,
668
00:37:51,721 --> 00:37:55,591
please consider supporting
Trans Lifeline.
669
00:37:55,691 --> 00:37:57,293
They're a grassroots hotline
670
00:37:57,393 --> 00:37:59,829
offering direct emotional
and financial support
671
00:37:59,929 --> 00:38:02,231
to trans people in crisis
for the trans community
672
00:38:02,331 --> 00:38:03,633
and by the trans community.
673
00:38:03,733 --> 00:38:05,835
So, if you can,
please donate at the link below
674
00:38:05,935 --> 00:38:07,203
to help their vision for a world
675
00:38:07,303 --> 00:38:08,771
where trans people
have the connection,
676
00:38:08,871 --> 00:38:10,606
the economic security
and the care
677
00:38:10,706 --> 00:38:12,341
that everyone needs
and deserves.
678
00:38:12,441 --> 00:38:14,243
Until tomorrow,
stay safe out there.
679
00:38:14,343 --> 00:38:17,380
And remember,
if you don't like your name,
680
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:19,215
Turkey is now up for grabs.
681
00:38:19,315 --> 00:38:22,084
Now, here it is,
Your Moment of Zen.
682
00:38:22,184 --> 00:38:24,787
♪ ♪
683
00:38:24,887 --> 00:38:26,789
Dream proposal crushed!
684
00:38:26,889 --> 00:38:29,959
Oh. It's coming out
of Disneyland Paris.
685
00:38:30,059 --> 00:38:31,661
-NEWSWOMAN: Gets down
on one knee. -NEWSMAN: Mm-hmm.
686
00:38:31,761 --> 00:38:33,529
NEWSWOMAN: Starts to pop
the question. Are you watching?
687
00:38:33,629 --> 00:38:34,864
-NEWSMAN: Oh!
-NEWSWOMAN: And then boom.
688
00:38:34,964 --> 00:38:36,766
Out of the left corner,
a Disneyland employee
689
00:38:36,866 --> 00:38:40,002
runs out and snatches the ring
from the guy's hand?
690
00:38:40,102 --> 00:38:41,904
-Oh, my goodness!
-NEWSMAN 2: L-Look...
691
00:38:42,004 --> 00:38:43,506
NEWSMAN:
He snatched it out of that hand.
692
00:38:43,606 --> 00:38:45,041
NEWSWOMAN:
Are you kidding me?
693
00:38:45,141 --> 00:38:46,943
NEWSMAN 2: I'll tell you what,
Disney should be happy
694
00:38:47,043 --> 00:38:49,078
that someone is proposing
at Disneyland Paris.
695
00:38:49,178 --> 00:38:50,613
I never knew
there was a Disneyland Paris.
696
00:38:50,713 --> 00:38:52,415
NEWSWOMAN: I actually didn't.