1
00:00:01,401 --> 00:00:03,537
-♪ ♪ -ANNOUNCER: Coming to you
from New York City,
2
00:00:03,637 --> 00:00:07,508
the only city in America,
it's The Daily Show.
3
00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:12,045
Tonight-- pulling back
the curtain on January 6,
4
00:00:12,145 --> 00:00:14,047
Google gets up in its feelings,
5
00:00:14,147 --> 00:00:16,783
and Ayo Edebiri.
6
00:00:16,884 --> 00:00:20,654
This is
The Daily Show with Trevor Noah!
7
00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:25,425
(cheers and applause)
8
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:35,035
What's going on, everybody?
9
00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:37,838
Welcome to The Daily Show.
I'm Trevor Noah.
10
00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:39,239
Thank you so much for tuning in.
11
00:00:39,339 --> 00:00:41,074
Thank you for coming out
in person. This is great.
12
00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:43,777
Oh, this is gonna be great.
Take a seat.
13
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,445
Take a seat. Ah, let's do this.
Let's do this.
14
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:49,416
Let us do this. We have got a
jam-packed show for you tonight.
15
00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:50,951
Russia is invading McDonald's,
16
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:54,288
Google has created
an A.I. with a soul,
17
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,857
and we're learning
that on January 6,
18
00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:58,992
Mike Pence was actually
the president.
19
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:00,627
So let's do this, people.
20
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:03,096
Let's jump straight
into today's headlines.
21
00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:06,233
-(applause and cheering)
-♪ ♪
22
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:13,340
Okay, let's kick things off
with the war in Ukraine,
23
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,143
the world's most egregious case
of manspreading.
24
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:19,413
Now despite
the West sanctioning Russia,
25
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,381
despite the U.S. flooding
Ukraine with weapons
26
00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:23,817
and despite you buying
an Ukrainian flag iPhone case,
27
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,186
the invasion is still
somehow going on.
28
00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:29,089
And the Russians aren't just
gaining Ukrainian territory.
29
00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:31,091
They're also recovering
a bit of their old lifestyle
30
00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:32,793
back home, starting with food.
31
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:34,528
Because I don't know
if you remember
32
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,530
how McDonald's closed down
all of its restaurants
33
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:38,165
to punish the Russians.
34
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:42,202
Well, now those restaurants are
reopening under new management,
35
00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:45,272
and the Russians
are very excited.
36
00:01:45,372 --> 00:01:48,842
In Russia, the Big Macs
and golden arches may be gone,
37
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,411
but 15 shuttered
McDonald's restaurants there
38
00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:54,515
just reopened under new branding
and ownership.
39
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:57,684
NEWSMAN: So, Russia now has its
own version of McDonald's.
40
00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,621
It comes under
a different name here.
41
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,556
It's called...
(speaking Russian),
42
00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:05,592
which essentially means,
"Tasty and That's It."
43
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:07,160
Also a different logo.
44
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,062
You can see it right there.
45
00:02:09,162 --> 00:02:10,464
Other than that, a lot of things
46
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:12,766
are actually very similar
to McDonald's.
47
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,201
However, there is no Big Mac,
48
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,103
and there also
is no Happy Meal, either.
49
00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:18,272
As you can see,
the Russian Version
50
00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:21,341
of McDonald's looks a lot
like McDonald's.
51
00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:25,212
You have the, uh,
double cheeseburger here, fries,
52
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:28,682
and this is a nine-piece
not McNuggets.
53
00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:30,751
It's nuggets.
And some sort of soft drink.
54
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,753
And if you look carefully,
you can see
55
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:36,723
the sauces even seem to have
the McDonald's logo blacked out.
56
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,960
(laughter)
57
00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:43,130
Wait. What?
They just blacked it out?
58
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:45,699
And you're like, "Oh,
I wonder what this one is, huh?"
59
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:47,167
But, yeah, that's right.
60
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:49,336
The Russians have taken over
McDonald's in Russia,
61
00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:51,438
and they've given it
a whole new name.
62
00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:52,940
And except for the branding,
I mean,
63
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:55,275
these restaurants are
exactly like McDonald's.
64
00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:57,511
The sauces, the burgers,
the nuggets.
65
00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:59,179
They even broke
the ice cream machine
66
00:02:59,279 --> 00:03:01,381
to give you that authentic
feeling of disappointment.
67
00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:03,417
You know? That's what they did.
68
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:06,353
Now they don't have
branded items like Big Macs
69
00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:11,058
or McNuggets, but they do
still have Grimace. Yeah.
70
00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:12,459
No, not the character,
just the face
71
00:03:12,559 --> 00:03:14,728
that Russians make all the time.
72
00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:17,798
And I'll be honest. I feel like
they could have come up
73
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:21,435
with a better name
than "Tasty and That's It."
74
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,437
It almost sounds like
they're hiding something.
75
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,739
(Russian accent):
"It's tasty, and that's it.
76
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:28,442
Stop asking questions."
77
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,878
Like, what kind of a name
is that for a restaurant?
78
00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:32,346
Tasty and That's It.
79
00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:34,781
It almost sounds like a mistake,
you know?
80
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:37,084
Like, they called the guy
who was making the signs,
81
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,620
and they were like, "Yeah, it's
called 'Tasty,' and that's it."
82
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,623
And the dude just wrote
everything they said.
83
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,625
Yeah, they're lucky the name
isn't "Tasty and That's It.
84
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,493
Let Me know When You're Ready
for the Credit Card Number."
85
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:50,531
And you know what's crazy
about the story is, like,
86
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:53,100
it shows you how powerful
corporations have become
87
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,868
in the world.
Like, think about it--
88
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:57,738
Russia has no problem
breaking international law,
89
00:03:57,838 --> 00:04:00,407
committing war crimes
and defying the United Nations.
90
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:03,877
But they draw the line
at violating licensing rights?
91
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:05,679
That's where they won't
go too far? They're like,
92
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,214
(Russian accent): "Comrade,
you don't want to mess
93
00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:10,484
"with Ronald Clown.
Very dangerous.
94
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,786
"I heard one time
he took enemy into ball pit,
95
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:15,889
"was never seen again, eh? Yeah.
96
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:17,891
"♪ Ba-da-ba, ba, ba ♪
He was not loving it,
97
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:20,194
not loving it."
98
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,298
(regular accent):
But let's move on...
99
00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:25,832
from the Russian
takeover of Ukraine
100
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:28,869
to the technology that could
take over the entire world.
101
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:31,371
I'm talking about
artificial intelligence.
102
00:04:31,471 --> 00:04:33,941
It's the thing scientists
are working on
103
00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:35,909
so one day our computers
won't just know
104
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:39,313
what kind of porn
we want to watch,
105
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:42,349
they'll also be able
to judge us for it.
106
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,551
And A.I. has come a long
way in the past few years,
107
00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:47,354
but now an engineer at Google
is saying that A.I.
108
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:50,357
has come a lot further
than we think.
109
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:51,758
NEWSWOMAN: An engineer
with Google says the company's
110
00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:56,396
artificial intelligence
generator is self-aware.
111
00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:57,831
NEWSWOMAN 2: Blake Lemoine
told the company that he thinks
112
00:04:57,931 --> 00:05:00,701
its A.I. chatbot is a person
113
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,704
who has rights
and might have a soul.
114
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,105
NEWSWOMAN 3: The software
engineer who made the claim
115
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:07,608
was put on leave for violating
116
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:10,911
Google's confidentiality
policy after handing documents
117
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:12,846
to a U.S. senator's office.
118
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:16,083
Despite the claim
the program is conscious,
119
00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:19,620
Google says the technology
still has a long way to go.
120
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,756
Tech experts say the
A.I. can imitate intelligence
121
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:26,226
by recreating patterns,
but still can't think or act
122
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,596
on its own,
apart from its programming.
123
00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:33,066
Okay, I don't work at Google
124
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:35,869
and I'm not
a computer scientist.
125
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:39,139
But I have
watched a lot of movies.
126
00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:41,742
And if there's one thing
I've learned from movies,
127
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,678
it's that if a scientist comes
out saying that something crazy
128
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:48,215
is happening back in the lab and
then they get fired for it...
129
00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:51,785
there's something crazy
happening back in the lab.
130
00:05:57,157 --> 00:06:00,494
Because, yeah, apparently
Google has an A.I.
131
00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:02,896
that can hold a conversation
that is impossible
132
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:06,433
to distinguish from a human.
Yeah.
133
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,868
Although, to be honest,
I'm not sure that
134
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,837
responding to questions
is really the best way
135
00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:12,673
to tell if A.I.
has become a real person.
136
00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:14,107
Like, you know
when I'll be convinced
137
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:16,343
is when it stops responding
for weeks
138
00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:17,444
and then only
gets back in touch with you
139
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,246
when it needs a favor.
Yeah.
140
00:06:19,346 --> 00:06:21,782
Then I'll know it's human.
141
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,051
It has learned.
142
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:27,654
And honestly, I'm not sure
who to side with in this debate.
143
00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:29,690
Because on the one hand
you have the engineer
144
00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:32,759
who says that the computer
has a soul, which definitely
145
00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,394
makes me think he's already
had sex with it.
146
00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:38,065
On the other hand,
the company says he's wrong.
147
00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:39,867
All I know
is we have to be careful
148
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:42,069
when we're creating
these things, people.
149
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,637
'Cause we're basically
playing God here,
150
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,974
and even God
made a few mistakes. Yeah.
151
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:49,643
I mean, you have seen a sloth?
152
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,845
What are they doing with these
long-ass sharp claws?
153
00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:54,681
What are they using them for?
They're so cute and they're slow
154
00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:57,084
and then you gave them
Freddy Krueger hands.
155
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,119
I can tell you, that day
God was texting on his phone
156
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,655
when he was doing that.
"Yeah, well-- Aah!"
157
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,658
And here's my question.
If Google does have this
158
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:08,128
A.I. technology, why is it
still using the crappy version
159
00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:10,697
for all of its suggested
responses in Gmail?
160
00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:12,132
You guys know what
I'm talking about, right?
161
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:13,500
Every option
on your email is like,
162
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,670
"Sounds good.
Thanks for letting me know."
163
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:17,905
Doesn't matter
what the email is.
164
00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:19,339
I could get an email
from my doctor
165
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:22,376
telling me that my intestines
are growing teeth,
166
00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:23,810
and Gmail's suggested
response would be like,
167
00:07:23,911 --> 00:07:27,648
"Okay, thanks.
Let's plan that for next week."
168
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,851
I don't know, man.
169
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,519
I just think, you know,
we-we need to be careful
170
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:34,154
with scientists these days.
Like, we didn't listen
171
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,390
when the COVID scientists
warned us.
172
00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:37,691
I'm not gonna make
that mistake again.
173
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,527
From now on,
I'm treating all of my gadgets
174
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:44,064
with love and respect.
175
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:46,066
I'll start right now. Hey, Siri?
176
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:48,135
SIRI:
How can I help you, Trevor?
177
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:49,837
No, Siri, how can I help you?
178
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:52,673
(laughter and applause)
179
00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:54,641
All right, finally,
you may not know this
180
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:55,876
if you've lived here
your whole life,
181
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,078
but America has a reputation
around the world
182
00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:01,281
for being a place
where anyone can sue anyone
183
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:02,816
for anything.
184
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:06,753
And sometimes stereotypes
are a little bit exaggerated.
185
00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:08,856
You know? It's like
how people think in Africa,
186
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:11,758
we have elephants just walking
through the streets,
187
00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:13,093
which is ridiculous, all right?
188
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:14,628
We have one elephant
in the street.
189
00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:17,030
His name is Henry,
and he's the mayor of the town,
190
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:18,498
right? So he can walk
wherever he likes.
191
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,267
Anyway,
the point is the stereotype
192
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,602
about lawsuits in America?
193
00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:24,872
Well, it turns out
that one happens to be true.
194
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:27,608
Insurance company GEICO
may have to pay a Missouri woman
195
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,643
more than $5 million.
196
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:31,478
The reason for the hefty payout?
197
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:34,414
Well, she says she caught HPV
198
00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:36,483
after being intimate in the car
199
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:39,520
with a then boyfriend,
who's insured by GEICO.
200
00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:41,688
NEWSMAN: The woman argued
her man's car insurance policy
201
00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:43,557
covers her injuries and losses.
202
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:45,325
GEICO turned down
the original claim,
203
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:48,061
so she went to an arbitrator
and then a court.
204
00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:49,863
Both sided with her.
205
00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:51,131
Hmm.
206
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,399
(laughter)
207
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:55,335
This is a, uh,
a common legal occurrence
208
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:57,437
known as "what the (bleep)?"
209
00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:58,805
(laughter and applause)
210
00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:00,340
Did you hear
what they just said?
211
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:04,011
A woman has been awarded
$5 million from GEICO
212
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:06,013
because she got HPV
213
00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:08,282
from sex in her boyfriend's car,
214
00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:10,884
and the car was insured
by GEICO.
215
00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:12,186
(laughter)
216
00:09:12,286 --> 00:09:14,755
I mean,
I feel like if anything bad
217
00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:16,256
is gonna happen to you,
you need to make sure
218
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:18,025
that it happens in a car
from now on, you know?
219
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,927
Yeah, it could be at the beach.
Like, "Oh, no!
220
00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:21,562
"There's a shark in the water!
221
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,931
"It's attacking!
It's gonna eat my legs!
222
00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:25,332
"No, shark!
223
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:27,167
"Actually, hey, shark,
could we do this in my car?
224
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:30,804
I, uh...
I'm trying to get paid. Yeah."
225
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,540
I mean, don't get me wrong.
I feel bad for the woman, too.
226
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,709
You know?
'Cause not only did she get HPV
227
00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:37,277
in a GEICO car.
228
00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:39,379
The sex was over
in 15 minutes or less.
229
00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:41,515
(laughter and applause)
230
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:49,957
Also, I feel bad
for everyone else out there
231
00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:51,859
who also has HPV
232
00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:55,095
but doesn't have $5 million.
233
00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:57,297
Seriously, $5 million?
234
00:09:57,397 --> 00:09:59,499
How did they even assess
those damages?
235
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,202
Huh? Did she have a mechanic
look under the hood just like,
236
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:03,937
"Yep, that pussy's totaled.
237
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:05,639
"Yep, it's gone.
238
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,941
Totally done."
239
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:09,776
Now, apparently, apparently,
240
00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:11,745
GEICO is gonna fight
this ruling.
241
00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:13,680
They say they're not gonna pay.
They don't want to pay.
242
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,683
I don't know.
I think this seems like great PR
243
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,752
for how much their insurance
actually covers.
244
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,120
In fact,
245
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:23,123
they need to work this
into their ads.
246
00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:25,292
GEICO can get you
some great savings
247
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:26,527
on car insurance.
248
00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:28,829
And then you can raw dog
all you want.
249
00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:31,064
Front seat, back seat.
250
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:32,633
Get that interior stickier
251
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:35,135
than my famously sticky feet.
252
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,337
I'd buy that insurance.
253
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:38,906
I would buy it.
254
00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:40,507
All right,
that's it for the headlines.
255
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:42,376
But before we go to a break,
256
00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:44,344
let's check in
on the stock market,
257
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:45,612
which has been crazy,
258
00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:47,915
with our finance expert,
Michael Kosta, everybody.
259
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,917
-(cheering and applause)
-Thank you.
260
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:52,853
-Uh, Michael?
-Yeah.
261
00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:54,688
It is wild. My friend,
262
00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:56,723
what is happening
in the market today?
263
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:59,593
Well, Trevor,
I am crushing it, okay?
264
00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:01,395
-I am crushing the market.
-You always say...
265
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:03,630
Yeah. C-R...
266
00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:07,901
U-S-S-N-G-H.
267
00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:09,870
Crushing it, okay?
And I got a hot tip.
268
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,238
If you want to make money
in this market,
269
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:12,606
I got a hot tip for you
270
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:14,274
and for you at home
and for you in the audience.
271
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,076
-Okay? So pay attention.
So, let's break it down. -Okay.
272
00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:17,377
Actually-actually, before we do
that though, the, um...
273
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:19,413
-the, uh... that HPV story.
-Yeah.
274
00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:21,448
-That woman-- $5 million.
-Crazy, right?
275
00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:22,549
I mean, that-that's wonderful.
276
00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:24,751
That's really gonna help
that next-day,
277
00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:28,589
awkward post-sex phone call
you got to make, you know?
278
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:31,425
It's like, "Hey, I'm obligated
to tell you two things.
279
00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:33,894
"One, you have HPV now.
280
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:36,797
"Two, we're gonna be
(bleep)ing rich, you know?
281
00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:37,831
You know what I'm saying?"
282
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:40,200
But let's be honest.
She has HPV.
283
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:41,568
-Yes.
-She has HPV.
284
00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:43,737
Highly Paid Vagina.
285
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:46,940
And I know...
I know what you're thinking.
286
00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:50,777
How much is that car worth
based on that settlement?
287
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:53,313
I don't know. Let me check
its Kelley Blue Ball value.
288
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:55,115
You know what I'm saying? Yeah?
289
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,550
-Let me get to the-- let me get
to the markets? -Yeah, let's get
290
00:11:56,650 --> 00:11:59,253
-to the markets.
-Get to the markets. Okay, so...
291
00:11:59,353 --> 00:12:00,921
markets have been down, okay?
292
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,456
Markets have been down.
293
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,892
And this is a bear market.
294
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,728
Now, what does that mean? It
means it's getting hairy, okay?
295
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:11,365
And that's what I learned
this weekend during Pride, okay?
296
00:12:11,465 --> 00:12:14,234
So, there are some people
that are into bear markets,
297
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:17,204
and this is a good time
for them. Now...
298
00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:19,339
Bitcoin is crashing.
299
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:20,774
Nobody seems to be talking
about it.
300
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:23,076
And you know that when
Bitcoin people aren't talking
301
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:25,679
about Bitcoin, it's bad,
all right?
302
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:29,316
Who would have imagined that
an imaginary economic system
303
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:31,418
based on an imaginary currency
304
00:12:31,518 --> 00:12:33,287
where you use
an imaginary wallet
305
00:12:33,387 --> 00:12:35,322
to buy
an imaginary piece of art
306
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:38,659
of an imaginary monkey
playing a drum would crash?
307
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:41,695
-I don't know. Look. Yeah.
-(cheering)
308
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:43,096
Now...
309
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:46,099
It's digital. This is digital.
310
00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:47,868
So as soon as I saw
it was crashing,
311
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:49,970
I just unplugged the computer.
312
00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:53,173
-Uh, Kosta, I...
-Yeah.
313
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,508
I-I don't think
that's how it works.
314
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:57,211
Well, that's why you're not
the financial expert.
315
00:12:57,311 --> 00:12:58,579
Do you understand?
316
00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:00,514
There's a reason I'm standing
in front of the chart.
317
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:02,382
Now, let's break down
this chart.
318
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,685
-Okay. -There's a few things
that we have to decipher here.
319
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,486
Okay, first one--
these numbers here,
320
00:13:06,587 --> 00:13:09,957
people are mistaking these
numbers as the date. Incorrect.
321
00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:13,327
This is the minimum height
you need to be
322
00:13:13,427 --> 00:13:15,128
to invest in said currency.
323
00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:16,830
Six-eight, six-nine, six-ten.
324
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:18,398
Why does it drop here?
325
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:21,201
Because six-12's
not a real height, Trevor, okay?
326
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,337
And it really falls at six-13.
327
00:13:23,437 --> 00:13:26,640
The market has to respond to
this ridiculous not-real height.
328
00:13:26,740 --> 00:13:28,909
-Now...
-(chuckles)
329
00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:30,611
I'm an expert,
ladies and gentlemen, okay?
330
00:13:30,711 --> 00:13:32,613
Now, these dips--
331
00:13:32,713 --> 00:13:34,214
Michael Kosta,
financial expert--
332
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,382
when you see these dips,
333
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,117
buy the dip, okay?
334
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:38,252
Buy the dip.
335
00:13:38,352 --> 00:13:40,687
Blue cheese, hummus,
336
00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:42,689
sour cream, okay?
337
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:45,592
You just lost a lot of money,
all right?
338
00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:47,995
And you need to stay home
and have some comfort food
339
00:13:48,095 --> 00:13:49,897
and think
about your financial future.
340
00:13:49,997 --> 00:13:50,964
Okay.
341
00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:53,333
-Hot tip to make some money.
-Yeah.
342
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:56,370
In a market like this,
in order to make money,
343
00:13:56,470 --> 00:13:58,605
what you need to do
is get out of the market
344
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:01,208
and try to get HPV in a car
345
00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:03,110
insured by Geico.
346
00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:05,245
-You'll be happy you did.
-(cheering and applause)
347
00:14:07,481 --> 00:14:09,082
-Yeah. Yeah. -That's some,
uh, pretty sound advice.
348
00:14:09,183 --> 00:14:11,185
Michael Kosta, everybody.
Thank you so much for that.
349
00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:13,153
All right, don't go away.
'Cause when we come back,
350
00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:16,290
we'll find out why Donald Trump
isn't still the president.
351
00:14:16,390 --> 00:14:18,058
You don't want to miss it.
352
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:20,127
(cheering and applause)
353
00:14:25,797 --> 00:14:27,833
(applause and cheering)
354
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,376
Welcome back to
The Daily Show.
355
00:14:37,476 --> 00:14:39,044
Over the past few days,
356
00:14:39,144 --> 00:14:42,047
Washington, D.C.
has been buzzing.
357
00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:44,683
And not just because
of Joe Biden's new extensions,
358
00:14:44,783 --> 00:14:46,151
although they do look fly.
359
00:14:46,251 --> 00:14:49,288
No, I'm talking
about the January 6 hearings,
360
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:52,291
which have now
officially kicked off.
361
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:55,360
So, let's catch up
on all the latest news.
362
00:14:55,460 --> 00:14:57,462
♪ ♪
363
00:14:59,765 --> 00:15:01,700
(applause)
364
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,736
You know, different people
have different ideas
365
00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:07,139
about what happened
on January 6.
366
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:08,874
You know, for many people,
it was the day
367
00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:11,476
right-wing fanatics attacked
America's democracy.
368
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:13,378
For Trump supporters,
it was a field trip
369
00:15:13,478 --> 00:15:15,347
where they get to meet
their friends from the Internet.
370
00:15:15,447 --> 00:15:18,951
But now, the committee says
that it can prove
371
00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:21,620
that January 6 wasn't just
a spontaneous riot
372
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,488
by an angry mob.
373
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:26,291
It was the climax
of a long, coordinated plot
374
00:15:26,391 --> 00:15:30,162
by Donald Trump, which--
I don't know about you--
375
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:32,364
for me, is shocking.
376
00:15:32,464 --> 00:15:34,132
No, because I didn't think
377
00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:36,802
Trump could coordinate
anything in advance.
378
00:15:36,902 --> 00:15:39,104
The man can't even plan
where a sentence should end.
379
00:15:39,204 --> 00:15:40,873
Like, I didn't think
that would happen.
380
00:15:40,973 --> 00:15:44,643
-(applause) -But according
to the committee,
381
00:15:44,743 --> 00:15:47,012
Trump planned
to overthrow the election
382
00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,081
because he knew
that he had lost.
383
00:15:49,181 --> 00:15:52,985
And the reason that we know
he knew that he had lost
384
00:15:53,085 --> 00:15:56,355
is because now everyone around
him is spilling the beans.
385
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,757
NEWSMAN: The committee relied
on some of those closest
386
00:15:58,824 --> 00:16:00,792
to Donald Trump
to make its case.
387
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:03,996
His once-loyal attorney general
who told investigators
388
00:16:04,096 --> 00:16:07,032
Trump's claims
of a stolen election were bunk.
389
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:08,400
I told him that the stuff
390
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:09,835
that his people were
shoveling out
391
00:16:09,935 --> 00:16:11,837
to the public were bull...
was bullshit.
392
00:16:11,937 --> 00:16:14,506
I mean, that the claims
of fraud were bullshit.
393
00:16:14,606 --> 00:16:16,542
I thought, boy, if he really
believes this stuff,
394
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:20,412
he has, you know, lost contact
with, uh, with, uh...
395
00:16:20,512 --> 00:16:22,981
He has become detached
from reality.
396
00:16:23,081 --> 00:16:26,251
NEWSMAN: And the president's
own daughter and senior advisor.
397
00:16:26,351 --> 00:16:29,555
I respect
Attorney General Barr, um,
398
00:16:29,721 --> 00:16:33,825
so I... accepted what he said...
was saying.
399
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:35,194
NEWSMAN:
Hours after the hearing,
400
00:16:35,294 --> 00:16:37,496
Trump put out a statement
saying his daughter,
401
00:16:37,596 --> 00:16:39,765
"Had long since checked out,"
and was
402
00:16:39,865 --> 00:16:42,434
"only trying to be respectful
to Bill Barr."
403
00:16:42,534 --> 00:16:43,602
Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.
I'm sorry.
404
00:16:43,735 --> 00:16:46,271
Ivanka checked out?
405
00:16:46,371 --> 00:16:49,308
When was she checked in?
406
00:16:49,408 --> 00:16:50,776
Because for four years,
it just looked like
407
00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:53,111
she was just walking around
trying to find her desk.
408
00:16:53,212 --> 00:16:55,147
When was she checked in?
Checked out of what?
409
00:16:55,247 --> 00:16:57,382
This is like if Machine Gun
Kelly said he was no longer
410
00:16:57,482 --> 00:16:59,885
pursuing a PhD in nuclear
physics. Uh, when was that
411
00:16:59,985 --> 00:17:02,554
even happening?
Was that a thing?
412
00:17:04,756 --> 00:17:06,892
But, yeah...
413
00:17:06,992 --> 00:17:09,761
Trump's inner circle
was well aware
414
00:17:09,828 --> 00:17:11,797
that the election
did not go their way.
415
00:17:11,897 --> 00:17:14,233
And they told Trump.
416
00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:17,102
Except for one person,
who had the liquid courage
417
00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:19,505
to say that Trump did win.
418
00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:21,373
President Trump
rejected the advice
419
00:17:21,473 --> 00:17:23,609
of his campaign experts
on election night,
420
00:17:23,775 --> 00:17:27,913
and instead followed the course
recommended by an apparently
421
00:17:28,013 --> 00:17:32,351
inebriated Rudy Giuliani
to just claim he won
422
00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:35,053
and insist that
the vote counting stop.
423
00:17:35,153 --> 00:17:37,523
Was there anyone
in that conversation who,
424
00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:41,960
in your observation, had...
had had too much to drink?
425
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:46,031
MILLER:
Uh, like, Mayor Giuliani.
426
00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:48,033
The mayor was
definitely intoxicated.
427
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:51,170
Yeah, according to this
former Trump aide, Rudy Giuliani
428
00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:54,373
was wasted on election night
when he told Trump
429
00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:56,542
that the election
was stolen from him.
430
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:59,178
And-and I-I'm just curious
about how you even know
431
00:17:59,278 --> 00:18:01,847
when Rudy Giuliani is drunk.
432
00:18:01,947 --> 00:18:03,749
No, because when
a normal person is drunk,
433
00:18:03,815 --> 00:18:05,817
they say crazy things,
they yell, they sweat a lot.
434
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:08,320
So how does that work with Rudy?
Does it work in reverse?
435
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:10,455
Like, does he start
talking normally, his hair dye
436
00:18:10,556 --> 00:18:13,559
sucks back into his hair?
How does this work?
437
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:15,761
And, you know, it actually
says a lot about Trump
438
00:18:15,827 --> 00:18:18,330
that a whole team
of sober advisors--
439
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,299
his attorney general,
his campaign manager,
440
00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:22,501
his-his daughter,
who he wants to bang,
441
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,136
yeah, we haven't forgotten--
442
00:18:24,236 --> 00:18:27,039
they were all telling him
"You lost this election, sir."
443
00:18:27,139 --> 00:18:29,208
But then Trump was like,
"Yeah, yeah, whatever.
444
00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:32,878
Drunk vampire,
what do you think?"
445
00:18:32,978 --> 00:18:34,713
You know, when you think
about it, it actually
446
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,748
makes sense that Trump
would listen a drunk person,
447
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:40,319
because that's the one time
people probably sound like him.
448
00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:43,989
You know? He's just like, "What
do you guys think we should do?"
449
00:18:44,089 --> 00:18:47,326
And it's just like, "I'll tell
you what I think we should do."
450
00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:50,095
"Wow! There's something
about this guy.
451
00:18:50,195 --> 00:18:52,531
He totally gets it."
452
00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:54,333
"You get it."
"I get it.
453
00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:57,135
"You get--"
"I-- You-- We get it."
454
00:19:00,005 --> 00:19:03,075
So the January 6th committee
says that Trump started plotting
455
00:19:03,175 --> 00:19:06,245
months before the actual event--
months before.
456
00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:09,281
And their proof
that he got what he wanted
457
00:19:09,381 --> 00:19:12,184
is that he didn't try to stop
the riot once it started.
458
00:19:12,284 --> 00:19:14,386
No, he didn't get on the phone
with the Defense Department
459
00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:16,588
or call in the National Guard.
It turns out it was actually
460
00:19:16,755 --> 00:19:18,357
Mike Pence who did that. Yeah.
461
00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:21,260
Mike Pence was basically
the president for a few hours.
462
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:22,961
Which is why
we have that law now,
463
00:19:23,061 --> 00:19:25,063
banning water
for being too spicy.
464
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,865
And it would have been
bad enough
465
00:19:26,965 --> 00:19:28,901
if Trump did nothing,
but instead,
466
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:32,704
he actively riled up the crowd
even more.
467
00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:34,573
NEWSMAN: In one piece
of never-before-seen video
468
00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:38,177
of the attack, a rioter is shown
reading Trump's tweet
469
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:39,778
criticizing his vice president
470
00:19:39,878 --> 00:19:42,181
even as the Capitol was breached
471
00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:45,217
and how it turned the crowd
against Mike Pence.
472
00:19:45,317 --> 00:19:46,718
MAN: "Mike Pence
didn't have the courage
473
00:19:46,818 --> 00:19:48,120
"to do
what should have been done
474
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:51,924
to protect our country
and our constitution..."
475
00:20:10,742 --> 00:20:13,579
Yeah. Not only did Trump
not try to stop the riot,
476
00:20:13,745 --> 00:20:15,214
but while it was happening,
477
00:20:15,314 --> 00:20:18,750
he was tweeting out statements
that were riling up the mob.
478
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:20,853
Which is not something
you expect from a president.
479
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:22,321
You know?
That's something you expect
480
00:20:22,421 --> 00:20:24,323
from a guy on the edge
of a Waffle House fight.
481
00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:26,692
Like, "Yeah, that's right!
He stole your fries!
482
00:20:26,758 --> 00:20:29,061
"You should beat his ass,
burn the whole store down!
483
00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:30,696
"Yeah, I'll-I'll take your order
in a second.
484
00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:33,098
I'm just trying to get
this fight going! Come on!"
485
00:20:33,198 --> 00:20:34,399
(laughter)
486
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:36,768
Was wild that that guy
was reading the tweet.
487
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:38,237
Just standing there
in the insurrection,
488
00:20:38,337 --> 00:20:41,073
he's like, "Here's a message
from Trump right now."
489
00:20:41,173 --> 00:20:42,574
You know what
would have been funny, though,
490
00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:44,877
is if that wasn't
the only Trump tweet
491
00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:47,779
that guy read to the crowd
to get them going.
492
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,782
MAN: "Robert Pattinson should
not take back Kristen Stewart.
493
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:53,785
She cheated on him like a dog
and will do it again."
494
00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:57,256
"Sorry, losers and haters,
but my IQ is one of the highest,
495
00:20:57,356 --> 00:20:58,857
and you all know it."
496
00:20:58,957 --> 00:21:01,994
"Sorry, folks,
I'm just not a fan of sharks.
497
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,162
"And don't worry,
they will be around
498
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,765
long after we are gone."
499
00:21:06,865 --> 00:21:10,269
Yeah. Those rioters
killed every shark that day.
500
00:21:10,369 --> 00:21:12,137
So, the hearings showed
501
00:21:12,237 --> 00:21:13,939
Trump's team
told him that he lost,
502
00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:15,340
he didn't do anything
to stop the riot,
503
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,309
and he actively added fuel
to the fire
504
00:21:17,409 --> 00:21:19,211
while the Capitol Building
was being swarmed.
505
00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:20,946
But today, they released
506
00:21:21,046 --> 00:21:22,614
one of the most damning pieces
of evidence
507
00:21:22,748 --> 00:21:24,383
proving Trump knew
508
00:21:24,483 --> 00:21:27,219
his election fraud claims
were fake,
509
00:21:27,319 --> 00:21:30,589
which is that when he asked
his supporters to donate money
510
00:21:30,689 --> 00:21:33,592
so that he could fight
the "fraud" in court,
511
00:21:33,692 --> 00:21:35,994
he just took the money and ran.
512
00:21:36,094 --> 00:21:38,130
Listen to what one
of their senior investigators,
513
00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:40,199
Amanda Wick,
said about what they discovered
514
00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:43,202
about the way Trump
and his associates raised money.
515
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:45,003
The claims
that the election was stolen
516
00:21:45,103 --> 00:21:46,471
were so successful,
517
00:21:46,572 --> 00:21:50,342
President Trump and his allies
raised $250 million,
518
00:21:50,442 --> 00:21:52,144
nearly $100 million
519
00:21:52,244 --> 00:21:54,213
in the first week
after the election.
520
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:56,481
On November 9, 2020,
521
00:21:56,582 --> 00:21:58,784
President Trump
created a separate entity
522
00:21:58,884 --> 00:22:00,619
called the Save America PAC.
523
00:22:00,719 --> 00:22:03,589
Most of the money raised
went to this newly created PAC,
524
00:22:03,722 --> 00:22:05,490
not to election-related
litigation.
525
00:22:05,591 --> 00:22:07,226
A-And what's important
about this, Victor--
526
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:09,294
it's not just that
they were peddling the big lie
527
00:22:09,394 --> 00:22:12,064
through these emails'
fundraising solicitations,
528
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,266
they also weren't using
that money
529
00:22:14,366 --> 00:22:17,269
for the purpose o-of trying
to truly find election fraud
530
00:22:17,369 --> 00:22:18,971
or fight these court battles.
531
00:22:19,071 --> 00:22:20,472
That's evidence of fraud.
532
00:22:20,572 --> 00:22:22,541
The next question is,
does the Department of Justice
533
00:22:22,641 --> 00:22:23,742
do anything with it?
534
00:22:23,775 --> 00:22:24,810
Wait, what?
535
00:22:24,910 --> 00:22:27,079
Donald Trump
conned his supporters?
536
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:30,015
That is so predictable.
537
00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:32,518
How are you shocked by this?
538
00:22:32,684 --> 00:22:35,153
I mean, the man is consistent,
if nothing else.
539
00:22:35,254 --> 00:22:38,790
Honestly, if you got tricked
by Trump scamming you.
540
00:22:38,891 --> 00:22:41,393
maybe your money deserves
a better home.
541
00:22:41,493 --> 00:22:43,128
Yeah. And, yes,
I'm victim blaming.
542
00:22:43,228 --> 00:22:44,730
I don't care.
543
00:22:44,830 --> 00:22:46,465
I will say, what impressed me
about this whole thing
544
00:22:46,565 --> 00:22:48,333
was how fast it was this time.
545
00:22:48,433 --> 00:22:50,235
The second the election ended,
546
00:22:50,335 --> 00:22:51,236
Trump didn't wait around.
547
00:22:51,336 --> 00:22:52,704
He knew it was over
548
00:22:52,738 --> 00:22:55,474
and then he just went
full-on Nigerian prince.
549
00:22:55,574 --> 00:22:56,808
Yeah, just jumped in.
550
00:22:56,909 --> 00:22:58,777
Like, his whole scam
sounded like it was an email.
551
00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:00,379
He's just like,
"Hello, my friend.
552
00:23:00,479 --> 00:23:03,348
"I am the president
of a very powerful country.
553
00:23:03,448 --> 00:23:07,052
"Sadly, I am in need of money
to save my people.
554
00:23:07,152 --> 00:23:08,353
"Donate today
555
00:23:08,453 --> 00:23:10,722
"and your money will be used
for the great fight
556
00:23:10,789 --> 00:23:14,826
"and definitely not so I can go
to dinner with Kid Rock, eh?
557
00:23:14,927 --> 00:23:16,895
"Send the money, please.
558
00:23:16,995 --> 00:23:18,397
"Send it now.
559
00:23:18,497 --> 00:23:19,731
All of the money."
560
00:23:19,832 --> 00:23:21,867
(applause)
561
00:23:23,969 --> 00:23:25,270
So that's what we've learned
562
00:23:25,370 --> 00:23:27,372
from the January 6 committee
hearing so far.
563
00:23:27,472 --> 00:23:29,708
But there is plenty more
to come.
564
00:23:29,808 --> 00:23:31,777
And we will keep you updated
on all of the news
565
00:23:31,877 --> 00:23:33,212
from this investigation.
566
00:23:33,312 --> 00:23:35,047
Yeah, from now
up until the moment
567
00:23:35,147 --> 00:23:37,282
that Donald J. Trump
is put behind bars.
568
00:23:37,382 --> 00:23:39,418
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
(chuckles)
569
00:23:39,518 --> 00:23:41,019
You know that dude's
gonna be president again.
570
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:43,055
This is America.
All right, stay tuned,
571
00:23:43,155 --> 00:23:44,790
'cause we're gonna be joined
by Ayo Edebiri
572
00:23:44,890 --> 00:23:46,191
right after the break.
Don't go away.
573
00:23:46,291 --> 00:23:48,327
(cheering and applause)
574
00:23:58,035 --> 00:24:00,071
(applause and cheering)
575
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,642
Welcome back
to The Daily Show.
576
00:24:04,742 --> 00:24:08,446
My guest tonight is actor,
writer and comedian Ayo Edebiri.
577
00:24:08,546 --> 00:24:09,780
She's here to talk
about starring
578
00:24:09,881 --> 00:24:12,183
in the new FX show The Bear.
579
00:24:12,283 --> 00:24:15,720
-Hi. Hello.
-MAN: Hi.
580
00:24:15,820 --> 00:24:17,655
I'm Sydney.
581
00:24:17,755 --> 00:24:20,291
I called about the sous
position. I'm staging today.
582
00:24:20,391 --> 00:24:21,726
-Right. Shit. Sorry. -Think you
I could stage today.
583
00:24:21,826 --> 00:24:23,561
-Yes. Yeah. Carmy. Um, hey.
-Hey.
584
00:24:23,661 --> 00:24:25,596
-Give your, um...
Thank you. -Ah, yes.
585
00:24:25,696 --> 00:24:28,866
Alinea, Smoque, Avec.
That's some serious heat.
586
00:24:28,966 --> 00:24:31,869
What's, uh...?
What's UPS?
587
00:24:31,969 --> 00:24:33,538
That's in Chicago, or...?
588
00:24:33,638 --> 00:24:36,374
-Uh, United Parcel Service.
-Shit.
589
00:24:36,474 --> 00:24:38,943
-The one, the mail. Yeah.
-That's the UPS. Yeah.
590
00:24:39,043 --> 00:24:40,778
Um, what do you...
what did you do for them?
591
00:24:40,878 --> 00:24:43,714
Drove. Paid my way
through culinary school, so...
592
00:24:43,814 --> 00:24:46,584
Please welcome Ayo Edebiri.
593
00:24:46,684 --> 00:24:49,620
(applause and cheering)
594
00:24:50,621 --> 00:24:52,857
-Welcome to the show.
-Thank you.
595
00:24:58,696 --> 00:25:01,499
-Welcome to the show, Ayo.
-Thank you for having me.
596
00:25:01,599 --> 00:25:03,100
Thank you for being here.
I feel like
597
00:25:03,201 --> 00:25:04,502
you shouldn't have time
to be here
598
00:25:04,602 --> 00:25:05,937
with all of the work
that you're doing.
599
00:25:06,070 --> 00:25:07,672
I mean, we just saw a new show
of yours that's gonna be,
600
00:25:07,772 --> 00:25:10,474
you know, coming out on FX,
and then...
601
00:25:10,575 --> 00:25:12,076
Like, just take me
through everything else
602
00:25:12,109 --> 00:25:14,212
that you're doing right now.
So you're acting in this show.
603
00:25:14,312 --> 00:25:16,214
-Yeah.
-And then, you write, as well.
604
00:25:16,314 --> 00:25:18,282
-Yes. Yeah. -And then,
you're a standup comedian.
605
00:25:18,382 --> 00:25:20,318
-Yes.
-Yeah, and then,
606
00:25:20,418 --> 00:25:22,420
on top of that, I feel like
there's two other things
607
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:23,921
I'm forgetting
that you're doing.
608
00:25:24,088 --> 00:25:27,658
-Um, Big Mouth maybe?
-Oh, Big Mouth, yeah.
609
00:25:27,758 --> 00:25:30,828
-And trying to get sleep,
I think. -(laughter)
610
00:25:30,928 --> 00:25:32,830
How is that going?
611
00:25:32,930 --> 00:25:36,400
Um, I could call my parents
more. That, too, yeah.
612
00:25:36,500 --> 00:25:37,735
You know, all the things
I should be doing, yeah.
613
00:25:37,835 --> 00:25:39,737
-Well, congratulations.
-Thank-Thanks.
614
00:25:39,837 --> 00:25:42,373
It really has been just like
a-a wild ride for you.
615
00:25:42,473 --> 00:25:44,475
You know, slingshot.
616
00:25:44,575 --> 00:25:46,177
And the beginning
of your journey is one
617
00:25:46,277 --> 00:25:47,545
that intrigues me the most
618
00:25:47,645 --> 00:25:49,113
because I read things
about people.
619
00:25:49,180 --> 00:25:51,382
I do the research, and then,
sometimes, it doesn't seem true.
620
00:25:51,482 --> 00:25:54,585
-Yeah.
-Were you studying to teach?
621
00:25:54,685 --> 00:25:57,121
Yeah, I was
studying to be a teacher.
622
00:25:57,221 --> 00:26:00,658
-Um, I wanted to be
an English teacher. -Okay.
623
00:26:00,758 --> 00:26:04,562
-And then I did my
student teaching, um, -Uh-huh.
624
00:26:04,662 --> 00:26:09,367
and did you know that
teenagers are really scary?
625
00:26:09,467 --> 00:26:11,369
And they will
tell you when
626
00:26:11,469 --> 00:26:13,171
you're not
a good English teacher.
627
00:26:13,271 --> 00:26:15,273
-Wow.
-Um, and so I was like,
628
00:26:15,373 --> 00:26:17,441
"Hmm, maybe
change careers?" Um...
629
00:26:17,542 --> 00:26:20,144
Yeah, but I was doing stand-up
and stuff at night
630
00:26:20,244 --> 00:26:22,980
and all my friends
were studying writing
631
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:26,651
and felt like people were
doing this, I don't know.
632
00:26:26,751 --> 00:26:28,719
This-- And I, I don't know,
I just was like,
633
00:26:28,819 --> 00:26:31,289
"I've got one life,
might as well try,
634
00:26:31,389 --> 00:26:32,690
-see if it works." -I love
the fact that the kids were
635
00:26:32,790 --> 00:26:35,960
so terrible you just changed
your perspective on life.
636
00:26:36,093 --> 00:26:38,829
They just shifted you
in a new direction.
637
00:26:38,930 --> 00:26:41,599
It was, like, the opposite
of any of those, like,
638
00:26:41,699 --> 00:26:43,868
movies where, like,
a teacher is, like, you know,
639
00:26:43,968 --> 00:26:45,403
coming in the classroom
and standing on the desk.
640
00:26:45,503 --> 00:26:48,806
-Yes. -Like, I stood on the desk
and they were like, "Sit down.
641
00:26:48,906 --> 00:26:51,642
-Leave. Go home. Journal."
-Did you tell them you--
642
00:26:51,742 --> 00:26:53,311
Did you tell them
you were going?
643
00:26:53,411 --> 00:26:55,346
Um, n-no. No.
644
00:26:55,446 --> 00:26:59,317
I think if I told, uh,
13-year-olds my dreams,
645
00:26:59,417 --> 00:27:00,651
I don't really think that
646
00:27:00,751 --> 00:27:03,654
would have gone great, you know?
647
00:27:03,754 --> 00:27:05,489
-Oh, my...
-They might have had notes.
648
00:27:05,590 --> 00:27:07,592
They-they are, I mean,
like, the reason
649
00:27:07,692 --> 00:27:09,660
behind all of your success,
though. I feel like
650
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:10,962
you should thank them now,
because they sent you
651
00:27:11,062 --> 00:27:13,764
-into a very successful career,
you know? -Yeah.
652
00:27:13,865 --> 00:27:15,299
Like doing everyth-- And you're,
like, crushing it at everything.
653
00:27:15,399 --> 00:27:17,134
-It's almost like--
-To, uh, to all the teenagers
654
00:27:17,235 --> 00:27:19,337
who made me sad:
655
00:27:19,437 --> 00:27:22,940
good job. Thanks.
656
00:27:23,074 --> 00:27:25,376
-Um, so let's talk about
the show on FX. -Yeah.
657
00:27:25,476 --> 00:27:27,144
It's-it's--
is it-is it a comedy?
658
00:27:27,245 --> 00:27:28,880
'Cause there are moments
where I feel like it's a drama.
659
00:27:28,980 --> 00:27:30,848
Then there's moments where
I find myself laughing out loud.
660
00:27:30,948 --> 00:27:32,383
-I guess dramedy, yes?
-I--
661
00:27:32,483 --> 00:27:34,785
-Yes? -Write-write that down,
662
00:27:34,886 --> 00:27:36,187
-I'm gonna, yeah, I've
patented it. -Copyright it,
663
00:27:36,287 --> 00:27:39,090
make-make your money.
Uh, yeah, I think it is kind of
664
00:27:39,156 --> 00:27:41,993
in that dramedy space.
It's, uh, it's definitely,
665
00:27:42,093 --> 00:27:46,597
I-- it's-- I mean, I--
I identify as a comedian.
666
00:27:46,697 --> 00:27:49,100
I don't know if other
people identify me as that,
667
00:27:49,133 --> 00:27:51,869
but I identify as a comedian.
And it was--
668
00:27:51,969 --> 00:27:53,871
it felt very funny, uh,
669
00:27:53,971 --> 00:27:56,507
to, like,
be showing up to work
670
00:27:56,607 --> 00:27:59,243
and being like, "Oh, okay,
I'm the most serious person,
671
00:27:59,343 --> 00:28:00,845
I'm saying, like,
the least funny stuff."
672
00:28:00,945 --> 00:28:03,915
-That's hilarious. -Uh, I'm-I'm,
like, actually acting, I think.
673
00:28:04,048 --> 00:28:05,883
-Or I'm trying to. -I think
it is. I think it is good.
674
00:28:06,050 --> 00:28:08,386
It's funny. It's heartfelt.
I mean, 'cause it's a story
675
00:28:08,486 --> 00:28:09,387
about, like, really...
676
00:28:09,487 --> 00:28:11,155
It seems
like a ragtag restaurant,
677
00:28:11,255 --> 00:28:14,125
-you know, that's being...
-Yes. It's a deeply motley crew.
678
00:28:14,225 --> 00:28:15,693
-Yes. Yes.
-Yes. Yes.
679
00:28:15,793 --> 00:28:17,795
And around... The food
looks g... Is it real food?
680
00:28:17,895 --> 00:28:19,163
It's real food.
We were cooking real food.
681
00:28:19,263 --> 00:28:21,532
We were working
in, uh, a real kitchen.
682
00:28:21,632 --> 00:28:24,468
Our-our set designers
and our production designers
683
00:28:24,569 --> 00:28:27,939
are geniuses, and they,
uh, created a real kitchen
684
00:28:28,072 --> 00:28:29,540
that felt really small
685
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:33,144
like a real kitchen
in a working restaurant would.
686
00:28:33,244 --> 00:28:36,380
Uh, but they created just,
like, a little space,
687
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:38,382
enough space for a camera
to be able to move through
688
00:28:38,482 --> 00:28:39,984
-and not break stuff.
-I like that. It has...
689
00:28:40,084 --> 00:28:41,786
-It has the feeling of, like,
you know... -The fire was real.
690
00:28:41,886 --> 00:28:44,455
-Water was real. Knives were
real. -Wait. What-what was real?
691
00:28:44,555 --> 00:28:46,157
-You said the fire was real?
-Fire? Yeah.
692
00:28:46,257 --> 00:28:48,125
-Doesn't seem safe.
-Well...
693
00:28:48,226 --> 00:28:49,827
I mean, hey.
694
00:28:49,927 --> 00:28:51,095
O-Oops.
695
00:28:51,128 --> 00:28:53,097
(laughter)
696
00:28:53,130 --> 00:28:55,433
The, um, you know,
the story's really great
697
00:28:55,533 --> 00:28:57,935
because it's-it's...
it feels like it's a commentary
698
00:28:58,035 --> 00:29:00,404
on the family we have
versus the family we choose.
699
00:29:00,505 --> 00:29:02,039
-Yeah. -You know,
we see your character's journey.
700
00:29:02,073 --> 00:29:05,243
We see everyone starting
to-to fall for each other
701
00:29:05,343 --> 00:29:06,244
and be in that world.
702
00:29:06,344 --> 00:29:07,445
It made me wonder
703
00:29:07,545 --> 00:29:09,080
where you feel
your biggest family is.
704
00:29:09,180 --> 00:29:10,748
Like, in what industry.
'Cause some people...
705
00:29:10,848 --> 00:29:12,617
-Ooh. -Let's say they're
on Broadway and they act on TV.
706
00:29:12,717 --> 00:29:14,619
They'll go like, "Oh, but the
Broad... My Broadway family."
707
00:29:14,719 --> 00:29:16,287
-Yeah. -You're
in so many different worlds.
708
00:29:16,387 --> 00:29:17,922
I want to know,
is there, like, one world
709
00:29:18,055 --> 00:29:20,124
where you feel like,
"I'm at home. This is me"?
710
00:29:20,224 --> 00:29:21,926
What if I was like,
"Trevor, with you"?
711
00:29:22,059 --> 00:29:24,495
-Uh... First time in. (laughs)
-(cheering and applause)
712
00:29:28,633 --> 00:29:30,401
I would...
713
00:29:30,501 --> 00:29:33,104
-I would say, "Thank you.
Thank you." -Thank you.
714
00:29:33,204 --> 00:29:35,072
"And that's very creepy
'cause we just met."
715
00:29:35,173 --> 00:29:36,541
-Yeah.
-That's what I would say.
716
00:29:36,641 --> 00:29:38,943
-But I would be flattered.
I-I would be flattered. -Well...
717
00:29:39,076 --> 00:29:42,413
Uh, no, I feel...
I feel really lucky, um,
718
00:29:42,513 --> 00:29:46,184
to, uh, be embraced
719
00:29:46,284 --> 00:29:49,086
and feel like I get to learn
in so many spaces.
720
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:53,090
And I feel like
I have a lot of curiosity,
721
00:29:53,124 --> 00:29:55,893
and I want to do a lot
of things and do them well.
722
00:29:55,993 --> 00:29:58,329
And I feel like the places
that I've been able to work
723
00:29:58,429 --> 00:30:00,164
and the people that
I've been able to work with,
724
00:30:00,264 --> 00:30:02,700
like, a lot of them are
just really great mentors
725
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,535
and friends. And so I feel like,
726
00:30:04,635 --> 00:30:07,038
in a lot of spaces,
in writing and in stand-up,
727
00:30:07,104 --> 00:30:08,940
uh, and I guess now in acting,
728
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,409
like, I-I have people who I...
729
00:30:11,509 --> 00:30:13,578
That's so deeply earnest.
730
00:30:13,678 --> 00:30:15,513
The stand-up in me is like,
"Ugh!"
731
00:30:15,613 --> 00:30:18,049
But... (laughs) I-I don't know.
I feel like there's a lot of...
732
00:30:18,082 --> 00:30:19,584
I think it's good.
I think it's good to be earnest.
733
00:30:19,684 --> 00:30:21,619
I feel like y-you should be
proud of what you've done.
734
00:30:21,719 --> 00:30:22,787
You know,
it's not an easy journey.
735
00:30:22,887 --> 00:30:24,055
Are your parents proud?
736
00:30:24,088 --> 00:30:25,923
The-- My parents are backstage,
737
00:30:26,057 --> 00:30:27,925
so I hope that they're proud.
738
00:30:28,059 --> 00:30:29,694
-(laughs) They're t... -It would
be weird if they told you now.
739
00:30:29,794 --> 00:30:31,696
They're backstage tapping
their toes. They're like,
740
00:30:31,796 --> 00:30:34,198
-"Ooh, we got notes. Yeah.
-(laughs)
741
00:30:34,298 --> 00:30:35,700
This is weird."
742
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:37,935
Wh-Where-- So where-where
are your parents from?
743
00:30:38,069 --> 00:30:40,071
-Uh, my mom is from Barbados.
-Okay.
744
00:30:40,104 --> 00:30:43,708
And my dad is from where you
just did that accent from.
745
00:30:43,808 --> 00:30:45,676
He's from Nigeria, and--
746
00:30:45,776 --> 00:30:48,513
No, he was backstage and
he was watching and he was like,
747
00:30:48,613 --> 00:30:50,348
-"Heh. Eh-heh."
-(laughs)
748
00:30:50,448 --> 00:30:51,782
-I'll take that.
-Yeah.
749
00:30:51,883 --> 00:30:53,651
-I'll take that from a Nigerian
dad! -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
750
00:30:53,751 --> 00:30:55,086
That's a standing ovation
from a Nigerian dad.
751
00:30:55,119 --> 00:30:56,454
-You got a "eh-heh"!
-"Eh-heh."
752
00:30:56,554 --> 00:30:57,855
-"Eh-heh. Eh-heh."
-"Eh-heh."
753
00:30:58,022 --> 00:30:59,423
I'll take that.
I'll take the "eh-heh."
754
00:30:59,524 --> 00:31:01,158
Uh, Ayo, it's-it's been great
meeting you.
755
00:31:01,259 --> 00:31:03,227
Uh, you know, congratulations
on everything you're doing.
756
00:31:03,327 --> 00:31:05,296
-Yes. -I think, I think-- it's
not just you who identifies--
757
00:31:05,396 --> 00:31:07,031
everyone who sees you goes,
"You're a comedian.
758
00:31:07,131 --> 00:31:08,399
You're funny. You're amazing."
759
00:31:08,499 --> 00:31:09,934
-Thank you for being on
the show. -Thanks for having me.
760
00:31:10,034 --> 00:31:11,936
-I felt at home with you
out here. -(laughs)
761
00:31:12,036 --> 00:31:13,538
-Thank you so much for being
here with me. -Thank you.
762
00:31:13,638 --> 00:31:16,741
I appreciate it. All right,
all episodes of FX's The Bear
763
00:31:16,841 --> 00:31:19,043
will be streaming exclusively
on Hulu June 23.
764
00:31:19,110 --> 00:31:20,912
We're gonna take a quick break,
but we'll be right back
765
00:31:21,045 --> 00:31:23,414
after this. Thank you.
766
00:31:23,514 --> 00:31:25,550
(cheering and applause)
767
00:31:30,121 --> 00:31:32,156
(cheering and applause)
768
00:31:35,293 --> 00:31:36,461
Well, that's our show
for tonight,
769
00:31:36,494 --> 00:31:38,429
but before we go, before we go,
770
00:31:38,463 --> 00:31:40,998
please consider supporting
Out Youth.
771
00:31:41,032 --> 00:31:42,667
They're an organization
that serves
772
00:31:42,700 --> 00:31:45,603
Central Texas LGBTQIA+ youth
773
00:31:45,636 --> 00:31:47,538
and their allies
with programs and services
774
00:31:47,572 --> 00:31:50,107
to ensure that
these promising young people
775
00:31:50,141 --> 00:31:53,110
develop into happy, healthy,
successful adults.
776
00:31:53,144 --> 00:31:54,979
Out Youth hosts
a variety of programs
777
00:31:55,012 --> 00:31:56,814
and provides training
and resources
778
00:31:56,848 --> 00:31:58,683
for parents, teachers,
and community members
779
00:31:58,716 --> 00:31:59,884
free of charge.
780
00:31:59,917 --> 00:32:01,752
So if you can,
please donate at the link below.
781
00:32:01,786 --> 00:32:04,422
Until tomorrow, stay safe
out there, and, remember,
782
00:32:04,455 --> 00:32:07,458
sex in a car
is no longer trashy--
783
00:32:07,492 --> 00:32:08,659
that's an investment.
784
00:32:08,693 --> 00:32:11,095
Now here it is,
Your Moment of Zen.
785
00:32:11,129 --> 00:32:13,931
If you're struggling
to cut back on the Coca-Cola,
786
00:32:13,965 --> 00:32:16,400
all the pop,
the geniuses at TikTok,
787
00:32:16,434 --> 00:32:19,303
well, they have yet another hack
for you to try.
788
00:32:19,337 --> 00:32:20,872
They're calling it
the healthy Coke.
789
00:32:20,905 --> 00:32:24,142
All you got to do is pour
a splash of balsamic vinaigrette
790
00:32:24,175 --> 00:32:27,578
over ice and then you top it off
with sparkling water.
791
00:32:27,612 --> 00:32:29,547
There you go.
There's your coke, Greg.
792
00:32:30,515 --> 00:32:31,983
Cheers.
793
00:32:36,621 --> 00:32:38,589
-The hell is that?
-(laughter)
794
00:32:38,623 --> 00:32:40,525
-(distorted echoing): The hell
is that? -(cackling)
795
00:32:40,558 --> 00:32:40,625
-The hell is that?
-(girl screaming)