♪ ♪
ANNOUNCER: Coming to you from New York City,
the only city in America,
it's The Daily Show!
Tonight,
we are hearing crazy shit.
Rudy takes a hit.
And Mayor Eric Adams.
This is The Daily Show with Trevor Noah!
-♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause)
What's going on, everybody? Welcome to The Daily Show.
I'm Trevor Noah. Thank you so much for tuning in.
Thank you for coming out in person!
Thank you so much, thank you so much, thank you so much,
thank you so much, thank you so much.
Welcome to the show, everybody.
We've got a great one for you tonight.
Take a seat. Let's get into it.
The January 6 committee dropped bombshells today,
Rudy Giuliani is lucky to be alive,
and our guest tonight is the mayor of New York City,
Eric Adams, and he's gonna be joining us on the show.
And I'm gonna ask him if he'll finally let me drive
a subway car. Yeah!
So, let's do this, people.
Let's jump straight into today's headlines.
-♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause)
All right. You know, there are a lot of depressing things
going on in America right now, so we decided,
let's start off today's show with some good news.
And I'm talking about what happened to Rudy Giuliani.
(laughter)
Former New York City mayor
and America's most illegal lawyer.
You see, he was in a supermarket on Staten Island Sunday
campaigning for his son, Andrew Giuliani,
who's trying to make history
as New York's first caveman governor.
And, thankfully,
Rudy is now doing okay after just barely surviving
a heinous drive-by on his upper back.
A Staten Island grocery store worker
is facing assault charges,
accused of slapping former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani.
This surveillance video shows the encounter
inside a ShopRite store.
The worker appears to hit Giuliani on the back,
prompting a reaction from the former mayor.
NEWSWOMAN: NYPD has said that this man
was a 39-year-old suspect who approached Giuliani,
slapped him in the back, and said, "What's up, scumbag?"
Giuliani refused medical attention at the scene,
and the 39-year-old was taken into custody,
with the NYPD recommending charges
of second-degree assault.
Don't you laugh! Don't you dare laugh!
(laughter)
This is second-degree assault!
That's how tough New York's laws are.
Third-degree is if you lightly blow on someone's ear.
And first-degree is if you boop them on the nose.
Boop. "Aah! Aah!
I've been hit! I've been hit."
Please-- And, please, don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong.
I don't think it is right for anyone to be putting their hands
on politicians or anyone, for that matter,
without their consent. Right? I'm not saying that.
But no way in hell
is that second-degree assault.
The guy barely t-- That's not second d--
If that's assault, then, what,
I guess Will Smith murdered Chris Rock.
That's what happened there.
"And now I'm in the grave!
In the grave!"
(cheering and applause)
And... and I love how...
I love how they say, "Rudy declined medical attention."
Medical attention for what?!
For what? That's the kind of injury
where the only thing you could do is kiss it
and make it feel better. That's it.
"Is it better, Rudy? Mwah, mwah, mwah.
Is it better?"
In fact, if anyone needs medical attention here,
it's the guy who touched Rudy Giuliani.
Yeah, that dude's hand probably looks like Dumbledore's
after he barehanded a horcrux.
And, yes, I will admit,
I will admit, this guy did sound aggressive.
But you've got to understand,
"what's up, scumbag?"
is just how people say hello on Staten Island, you know?
Yeah, it's a normal conversation.
"What's up, scumbag?"
"Nothing much. (bleep) your mother!"
"All right, well,
nice to see you, Grandma!"
But to me, to me,
the best part of this story is that,
the more Rudy told it,
the more the slap seemed to hurt.
He hit me hard enough to knock me forward about like this.
You know elderly people die mostly from falls?
This guy could've killed me!
I got hit on the back
as if a boulder hit me.
Uh, it knocked me forward a step or two.
You know, that-that was...
that was the woman who was rubbing my back.
The guy hit me so hard
that she herself almost fell
from the reverberation of it.
"Yeah, that's right. He-he slapped me so hard
"my eyeballs fell out and I-I had to pick them up
"and put them back in. You all saw it!
"You saw-- He-he slapped me so hard
"I-I shit out the side of my face two years ago!
"Yeah, that's how hard it was!
"You saw it, everybody.
"I felt it.
-I felt it." -(cheering and applause)
You know...
I thought that Rudy was lying about the election being stolen
because he was a Trump sycophant.
It turns out, he just lives in another world.
This is just his brain.
And I will say, in his defense, in his defense,
he was already in a weakened state.
You know, you have to acknowledge that.
He was out during the day in a store that sells garlic.
-I mean, you know? -(laughter)
It was hard for him. It was hard.
But let's move on from an attack that Rudy will always remember
to one that he always conveniently seems to forget.
January 6, the day Trump supporters tried
to play capture the flag with Mike Pence's head.
Yesterday, the January 6 committee announced
that they would be holding a surprise hearing
with a surprise witness.
And you know, whenever Congress says something like,
"Oh, this is a must-watch," you're like,
"Ah, that's what they said about Morbius."
But let me tell you, people,
today's hearing was insane.
I'm talking, like, proper insane.
So, let's catch up on all the latest January 6 updates.
-♪ ♪ -(applause)
So, it turns out
the surprise witness today was Cassidy Hutchinson,
a top aide to Donald Trump's chief of staff,
which means she was often in
(imitating Trump): the room where it happens,
the room where it happens.
The "it" was overthrowing democracy.
Now, Hutchinson had a lot of firsthand knowledge
about what Trump was doing from the moment
that he lost the election all the way through January 6.
And one of the stories she told was how Trump lost his shit
when he found out his attorney general
wasn't going along with his lies about the election.
I remember hearing noise coming from down the hallway.
I left the office and went down to the dining room,
and I noticed that the door was propped open,
and the valet was inside the dining room
changing the tablecloth off of the dining room table.
He motioned for me to come in,
and then pointed towards the front of the room
near the fireplace mantel and the TV,
where I first noticed there was ketchup dripping down the wall,
and there was a shattered porcelain plate on the floor.
The valet had articulated
that the president was extremely angry
at the attorney general's AP interview
and had thrown his lunch against the wall.
Ms. Hutchinson, was this the only instance
that you are aware of where the president threw dishes?
-(laughter) -It's not.
And are there other instances in the dining room
that you recall where he expressed his anger?
There were several times throughout my tenure
with the chief of staff that I was aware
of him either throwing dishes or flipping the tablecloth, um,
to let all the contents of the table go onto the floor.
Yeah. I know.
I, too, was shocked to hear
-that Trump threw any of his food away. -(laughter)
Because, I mean, let's be honest.
This guy's taken more selfies with food
than he has with some of his kids, right?
It's probably the reason Eric dresses up as a hot dog.
Just to get a hug. "Do you love me now, Dad? Do you love me?"
"You're the son I always wanted, Oscar Mayer. Always wanted."
(laughter)
And you heard what she said.
This wasn't a one-time thing.
Trump was constantly throwing food tantrums.
But what's interesting is, she didn't say "flipping the table."
She said "flipping the tablecloth."
-(laughter) -So, either Trump was an amateur magician,
or he wasn't strong enough to flip a table,
so he just did the tablecloth.
He was like, "Aah! Aah! Eh!"
(laughter)
(cheers and applause)
And...
And you know, if this happened regularly,
it must have sucked for all the people
who work in the White House.
You know, all the staff who have to clean up after him.
The people who made the food. And the dishes.
Can you imagine how traumatizing
this must have been for the dishes?
(French accent): Ah, everybody!
Welcome to the White House.
♪ Be our guest ♪
♪ Be our-- ♪ Aah! Oh!
What is happening? Aah!
You just killed Mrs. Potts! Aah!
Chip, don't look now. Your mother rests in pieces!
She has been murdered. Oh, my God.
This man is worse than the Beast. Aah!
We should go back. At least the Beast
didn't watch us have sex with the feather duster!
Aah! Aah!
(dishes crashing)
That one went straight to DVD.
Now, it turns out, it turns out that wasn't the only
Trump tantrum that Hutchinson testified about,
because she also said that on January 6th,
as the Trump mob was marching towards the Capitol,
Trump wanted to lead them
to the Capitol himself. Right?
But, when Secret Service agent Bobby Engel
refused the president's request for safety,
this happened.
The president said something to the effect of,
"I'm the F'ing president.
Take me up to the Capitol now."
To which Bobby responded,
"Sir, we have to go back to the West Wing."
The president reached up towards the front of the vehicle
to grab at the steering wheel.
Mr. Engel grabbed his arm and said,
"Sir, you need to take your hand off the steering wheel.
"We're going back to the West Wing,
we're not going to the Capitol."
Mr. Trump then used his free hand
to lunge towards Bobby Engel.
And Mr.-- When Mr. Ornato had recounted the story to me,
he had motioned towards his clavicles.
God damn, that is insane.
Trump fighting to take control of the president's car
like he's a bad guy in an action movie,
only he's the president and this is real life?
I mean, you got to admit, though,
fighting your own Secret Service agent
is kind of genius on Trump's part. Right?
No, 'cause he's hitting
the one person who can't hit back.
Yeah, I mean, they can punch back,
but then they've got to jump in front of their own punch.
You know? Just like, "Take that!
No!
(groaning)
Did you feel that one, Rudy?"
But, you know... you know,
this whole thing shows you how lazy Trump is.
The Capitol is, like, two miles away.
Everyone else walked there.
But Trump was, like,
"Okay, I could walk there, I could walk.
"Or I could try to steal a car from the Secret Service.
Which one is it?"
And not to victim blame,
but this is on the Secret Service, right?
You had four years to Trump-proof that vehicle.
You knew who you were dealing with.
There should have been a toy steering wheel
in the passenger seat the whole time.
Just let him think he's driving
and go back-- go back to the West Wing anyways.
And, you know, beyond Trump, this story just proves
once and for all that sitting in the back seat
is always a position of weakness.
It doesn't matter what the real power dynamics are,
no one in the back seat gets their way.
'Cause, I mean, he's lunging at them like,
"I'm the (bleep) president!"
And they're like, "You're in the back seat, bitch. Shut up."
Just like, "(whines)
Well, I'm gonna put my window down.
So, there were many funny and disturbing moments
in today's testimony. But the most damning part of today
was when Hutchinson revealed
that when President Trump was told
that some of the mob had weapons,
he instructed security
to take down the metal detectors
and let the mob in.
I was in the vicinity of a conversation
where I overheard the president say something to the effect of,
"You know, I don't F'ing care that they have weapons.
"They're not here to hurt me. Take the F'ing mags away.
"Let my people in. They can march to the Capitol from here.
Let the people in. Take the F'ing mags away."
Yeah. Apparently, Trump wanted the metal detectors removed
so that his supporters with guns could march to the Capitol.
Yeah.
So I guess he didn't necessarily want to hang Mike Pence.
He wanted to also give him the option of a firing squad.
So he's pro-choice. This is good to know.
It's good to know.
All right, that's it for the headlines.
But before we go take a break,
let's check in on the stock market
with our finance expert, Michael Kosta, everybody!
(cheering and applause)
Michael.
-This is a crazy, crazy time in the market, man. -Yeah.
What's going on in the market today?
Well, I am crushing the market.
I mean, I just keep-keep crushing it.
-So you say, Mike. -I keep... I keep making so much money.
And I have a hot tip for you and a hot tip for you
how you can crush it in the market, as well.
So, uh... First, though, Rudy Giuliani.
-Yeah. -You know, I-I feel bad for him.
I-I do. Because, look,
if you haven't been touched in a long time,
just the littlest contact, it...
it feels like your whole world has moved, you know?
And, look,
I've had some epic dry spells in my life.
I mean, I remember there were years where no...
Do you want to just... We get to the charts real quick?
-No, you can tell the story. -Yeah, okay, so, look,
-let's get to... -Oh, you don't want to tell the story?
-Let's get to the mortgage rates, Trevor. -Okay.
Yeah, I think I... Sorry, I kind of trailed off there.
(chuckles) Look, the interest in mortgage
is going way up, okay?
And if you're looking to buy a house right now,
this is really scaring you.
And people are asking "Why?"
Why did they start so low and they're going high now?
Well, I'm an expert. Let me break it down for you.
-That's why you invite me here, you know? -Yeah, definitely.
Right? So, look, in January,
interest on mortgage, it was low.
It's cold, right?
We have seasonal depression.
We don't have any money left from the holidays.
I mean, I even tried to call my realtor,
but the mittens I was wearing were so big,
I couldn't even, you know, get her phone number right.
So, look, now the sun comes out, right?
Seasons change.
Hey, I'm kind of interested in having a backyard.
I'm kind of interested in having a pool.
I'm kind of interested
in having an open-concept outdoor kitchen, right?
Now I can flip burgers while I'm talking to my friends
as they're swimming in the pool.
That's why, Trevor, right now,
end of June, interest is at its highest.
Uh, M-Mic-Michael, I...
No, I don't think that that's correct.
Look, here's the long and short of it, okay?
These are the three numbers you want to pay attention to.
This right here is the 30-year fixed-rate mortgage.
30 years? (scoffs)
Who's planning that far ahead?
30 years? I don't even know
if I have clean underwear to wear tomorrow, okay?
I certainly didn't have it today.
And now I'm supposed to plan 30 years from now?
That's a long time.
15 years, you know, that's not much better.
This is the one you want, Trevor, okay?
This is the adjustable rate mortgage.
This is the one you want. But it's competitive,
and it's tough. And here's how you get it, okay?
You have to pool your money
with five one-year-olds, okay?
Now, who even knows one one-year-old, right?
And even if you secure a meeting,
how do you communicate with that one-year-old?
So, that's a tough one to get, but you can do it.
-Hot tip. I promised you a hot tip, right? -Yeah.
Okay, look, if you're closing on a house anytime soon
and you are unhappy with your mortgage rate,
every piece of paper you sign,
all you got to do
is just date it back here.
The bank has to honor it.
That's your hot tip.
(cheering and applause)
I'm starting to wonder about your expertise.
Michael Kosta, everybody. All right, don't go away,
'cause when we come back, we'll be talking
to New York City Mayor Eric Adams.
You don't want to miss it.
(cheering and applause)
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
Trevor: WELCOME BACK TO
"THE DAILY SHOW."
MY GUEST TONIGHT IS THE MAYOR OF
NEW YORK CITY.
HE’S JOINING ME TO DISCUSS HIS
FIRST SIX MONTHS IN OFFICE AND
HOW HE’S TACKLING SOME OF THE
CITY’S MOST PRESSING ISSUES.
PLEASE WELCOME, MAYOR ERIC
ADAMS!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪
Trevor: WELCOME TO THE
SHOW.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
YOU DON’T REALIZE IT BUT YOU
JUST ASSAULTED ME WITH THAT
HANDSHAKE.
( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
Trevor: I’LL TRY AND BE A
LITTLE MORE GENTLE NEXT TIME.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.
Trevor: WELCOME TO THE
SHOW.
THANK YOU.
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, YOU DOING
THAT, YOU COULD BE INSIDE FOR 24
HOURS, YOU KNOW.
Trevor: LET’S TALK ABOUT
THAT BEFORE WE MOVE ON.
I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT RUDY
GIULIANI.
YOU SAID HE SHOULD ACTUALLY BE
INVESTIGATED MORE REPORTING A
FALSE CRIME BECAUSE IF IT WASN’T
FOR THAT VIDEO SHOOJT, THAT
PERSON WHO TAPPED HIM ON THE
BARKS WHICH I DON’T CONDONE,
THAT WASN’T ASSAULT.
NO, IT’S NOT.
WE ARE JOKING ABOUT IT, BUT
THINK ABOUT THIS FOR A MOMENT,
THERE WAS A WOMAN WE CALL THE
KAREN.
BROTHER TOLD HER TO PUT A DOG ON
HER LEASH --
Trevor: YES.
SHE SAID TO THE D.A., LISTEN,
SHE FALSELY REPORTED A CRIME,
SHE NEEDS TO BE ARRESTED.
HE FALSELY REPORTED A CRIME, AND
THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY SHOULD
TAKE THAT SERIOUSLY.
THAT PERSON HE FALSELY RECORD
SPENT 24 HOURS IN JAIL.
THAT’S NOT ACCEPTABLE.
AND, SO, I’M GOING TO CALL THE
D.A., WE MUST BE CONSISTENT.
ALL OF THAT THEATRICS THAT HE
DID, THAT’S NOT ACCEPTABLE.
IF THAT TAPE WASN’T THERE,
IMAGINE WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED
TO THAT MAN.
Trevor: YEAH, YEAH.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
CAN’T HAPPEN.
Trevor: YOU CAN MAKE THOSE
CALLS, MR. MAYOR.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT’S
INTERESTING?
WHAT’S INTERESTING IS WHEN YOU
SAW THE TESTIMONY IN WASHINGTON,
HE HAS OTHER THINGS HE HAS TO
DEAL WITH AS WELL.
( LAUGHTER )
Trevor: WE DEFINITELY SAW
THAT.
LET’S TALK ABOUT YOU.
WE DON’T WANT TO GIVE IT ALL TO
HIM.
YOU HAVE BEEN IN OFFICE SIX
MONTHS OFFICIALLY?
HARD TO BELIEVE.
BEING MAYOR OF NEW YORK IS LIKE
DOG DAY.
Trevor: IT’S THE MOST
THANKLESS JOB IN THE WORLD.
YOU HAVE UPS AND DOWNS.
MANY NEW YORKERS HAVE IMPRESSED
BY THE ATTITUDE YOU’VE TAKEN TO
EDUCATION.
YOU’VE COME IN, YOU’VE REVAMPED
THE SYSTEM, YOU’RE CREATING A
WORLD WHERE YOUR STAFF IS REALLY
FOCUSING ON GETTING NEW YORK
CITY’S EDUCATION UP TO WHERE IT
NEEDS TO BE.
TWO PARTS TO THE QUESTION.
NUMBER ONE, WHAT DO YOU STILL
THINK NEEDS TO BE ACHIEVED IN
TERMS OF EDUCATION IN NEW YORK
AND, NUMBER TWO, HOW DO YOU
REMOVE OR FIGHT AGAINST ALL THE
SEGREGATION THAT HAPPENS IN
NEW YORK CITY SCHOOLS.
EVERYONE MIXES, YET, IN THE
SCHOOLS, IT SEEMS LIKE THE CITY
IS STILL IN JIM CROW.
COUPLE OF THINGS.
NUMBER ONE, I LEARNED A LOT WHEN
I WAS IN SOUTH AFRICA.
I DROVE FROM CAPE TOWN TO PORT
ELIZABETH TO JOBERG AND SPOKE TO
A LOT OF PEOPLE THERE, WHEN
PEOPLE SPEAK ABOUT SEGREGATION,
THEY DON’T LOOK AT THE HIDDEN
SEGREGATION WE HAVE IN AMERICA.
Trevor: RIGHT.
OUR SCHOOL SYSTEM IS
DYSFUNCTIONAL AND WE’VE
ACKNOWLEDGED THE
DYSFUNCTIONALITY BECAUSE BLACK
AND BROWN AND POORER STUDENTS
ARE THE IMPACT OF THAT.
65% OF BLACK AND BROWN CHILDREN
NEVER REACH PROFICIENCY IN THE
NEW YORK CITY SCHOOL SYSTEM, AND
WE’VE NORMALIZED THAT.
I’M DYSLEXIC.
FROM K-12, I USED TO WALK INTO
SCHOOL AND THEY PUT DUMB ON THE
CHAIR.
I WAS BULLIED.
NOT UNTIL I GOT INTO HIGH
SCHOOL, I DISCOVERED I WAS
DYSLEXIC.
THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME.
34% OF THE PRISONERS IN RIKERS
ISLAND, DYSLEXIC.
I’M TAKING MY JOURNEY AND
HELPING OTHER GIRN.
WE HAVE DYSLEXIC SCREENING FOR
EVERY CHILD NOW AND I’M GOING
TOREICH, AND SCREENING FOR
DYSLEXIA SO THEY CAN GET THE
SERVICES THEY NEED.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
Trevor: YOU’VE ALSO BEEN
COMMENDED ON YOUR VIEWS ON
GENTRIFICATION.
YOU KNOW, ONE THING THAT MAKES
NEW YORK ONE OF THE GREATEST
CITIES IN THE WORLD IS HOW MANY
PEOPLE ARE IN IT.
IT’S A MELTING POT.
UNFORTUNATELY, LOOKS LIKE
CERTAIN COLORS ARE MOLTED OUT OF
THE TOWN.
JUNETEENTH, YOU GAVE AN
IMPASSIONED SPEECH WHERE YOU
SAID IN SOME WAYS GENTRIFICATION
FEELS LIKE A LEGACY OF SLAVERY.
HOW DO YOU CREATE A WORLD WHERE
PEOPLE CAN MOVE AND SELL PLACES
BUT DOESN’T CREATE AN
ENVIRONMENT WHERE POOR AND BLACK
AND BROWN PEOPLE ARE KICKED OUT
OF THEIR NEIGHBORHOODS.
I LOVE THAT.
WHEN YOU START ENGAGING IN
GENTRIFICATION, PEOPLE START TO
CLOSE UP AND GET ANGRY, NOW WE
DIVIDE THE LINES.
NO.
WHEN I WAS A SERGEANT IN THE
POLICE DEPARTMENT, A BLACK WOMAN
MOVED INTO A PLACE CALLED
GARRISON BEACH AND THEY
DESTROYED HER HOUSE.
I WENT OUT WITH A GROUP OF
BLACKS IN LAW ENFORCEMENT, BLACK
POLICE OFFICERS AND SAID WE’RE
GOING TO SLEEP IN THIS HOUSE AND
WE DARE YOU TO COME THROW US
OUT.
WHY DO I SAY THAT?
GENTRIFICATION IS A MIND-SET,
NOT ANNETTE THINKS AT THIS.
WHEN YOU MOVE INTO THE COMMUNITY
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU LET YOUR
DOG CRAP ON SOMEBODY’S YARD AND
DON’T PICK IT UP, YOU HAVE GO
INTO THE STORES ALREADY THERE
AND WANT TO ARREST SOMEBODY
PLAYING DOMINOES, OR SOMEBODY
DOUBLE PARKS IN FRONT OF THE
BLOCK AND WE HEAR LOUD NOISES
COMING OUT, THAT’S A CHURCH AND
IT WAS THERE BEFORE YOU GOT
THERE.
SO INSTEAD OF TREATING
COMMUNITIES BEFORE YOU GOT
THERE, YOU DIDN’T DISCOVER
BROOKLYN OR HARLEM, BE A PART OF
THE COMMUNITY AND BRING YOUR
FLAIR, THAT’S HOW YOU MERGE
TOGETHER.
Trevor: ON THE GROUND, HOW
TO YOU MAKE THAT HAPPEN?
IT’S A COMPLICATED ISSUES IN
THAT THERE ARE MANY HOMEOWNERS
IN HARLEM AND BROOKLYN WHERE I
FEEL THEY’RE TRAPPED IN A LOOP
WHERE THEY’RE DESTINED TO FAIL.
THE PEOPLE OWN THEIR HOMES, THEY
AREN’T GIVEN THE VALUATION
BECAUSE THEY’RE BLACK FAMILIES
LIVING IN A BLACK NEIGHBORHOOD
OR LATINO FAMILIES LIVING IN A
LATINO NEIGHBORHOOD AND DON’T
GET THE VALUATION.
SOMEBODY COMES IN AND BUYS THE
PLACE FOR PENNIES ON THE DOLLAR.
THE MORE PEOPLE DO THAT, THE
MORE VALUE AND SERVICES GO UP
AND THEY’VE MADE A WINDFALL.
HOW DO YOU AFFECT THAT ON THE
GROUND BEYOND SAYING TO THE
PEOPLE DON’T MOVE HERE AND ERASE
WHO’S HERE.
HOW DO YOU HELP PEOPLE WITH
ACTUAL POLICY?
NUMBER ONE, WE HAVE TO GET
BACK IN THE BUSINESS OF
HOMEOWNERSHIP AND WE’VE MOVED