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♪ ♪
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ANNOUNCER: Coming to you
from New York City,
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the only city in America,
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it's The Daily Show!
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Tonight,
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shrinkage is real,
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pineapples are hiding something,
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and Gregory Robinson.
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This is The Daily Show
with Trevor Noah!
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-♪ ♪
-(cheering and applause)
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What's going on, everybody?
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Welcome to The Daily Show.
I'm Trevor Noah.
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Thank you so much for tuning in.
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Thank you for coming out
in person.
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Thank you. Thank you.
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Thank you. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
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Take a seat.
Let's do this, people.
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Let's do this.
You guys feel great.
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All right, we've got a wonderful
show for you tonight.
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Dallas has solved
school shootings.
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We discover the truth
behind fruit.
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And inflation now has
an evil twin.
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So, let's do this, people.
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Let's jump straight
into today's headlines.
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-♪ ♪
-(cheering and applause)
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Oh, wow.
Oh, thank you, thank you.
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All right, all right,
let's do this.
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Let's, uh...
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let's kick things off
with inflation.
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Surprise.
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It's the reason parents
are also throwing tantrums
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in grocery stores right now.
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For the past year or so,
the price of everything we buy
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has been skyrocketing. Right?
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Because as companies face
higher costs
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to make their products,
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they have to pass those costs on
to the consumers.
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And I know
what you're thinking right now.
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You're like, "Trevor, can't they
keep their prices the same
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and make
a slightly smaller profit?"
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(laughing):
Come on.
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(chuckles)
You're adorable.
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Less profit.
(laughs)
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But it turns out some companies
are not raising their prices.
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And it's not because
they're angels--
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it's because they found
a much sneakier way
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to make the same profit
as before.
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From the rising cost
of inflation
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to the growing trend
of shrinkflation.
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NEWSMAN: The next time
you're shopping, check closely.
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This Life cereal box
recently got taller,
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but it lost
two and a half ounces.
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That's almost
a bowl and a half of cereal.
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Experts call it shrinkflation.
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It's a very sneaky way
to pass on a price increase.
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They know consumers will notice
a direct price increase
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but they won't notice
if the product
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gets a little bit smaller.
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We found some products.
You see this Charmin here?
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If you look
really, really closely,
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you'll see, uh, the size
of the rolls went from 396,
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396 sheets, to 366 sheets.
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You wouldn't know it.
It says "Super Mega" on top.
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And here's my favorite,
Gatorade.
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It kind of grew a waistline
here.
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It used to be 32 ounces.
Now it's 28 ounces.
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But it is the same height.
You can see it there.
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Yeah, she's right. That
Gatorade bottle's looking good.
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(laughter, applause)
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You're like, "Damn.
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"What you been doing, Gatorade?
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You stop drinking Gatorade?"
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But, yes, from soda to cereal
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and even toilet paper,
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companies are secretly shrinking
the size of their products.
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But you pay the same.
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And you've probably noticed
this, right?
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Back in the day,
you bought a big bag of chips.
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Everyone ate.
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These days, you open the bag
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and there's just one chip
holding the sides
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to make it look big.
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And the worst part
about shrinkflation is that,
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if you complain about it,
you sound crazy.
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Right? If you're like, "Guys,
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"I think these
Double Stuf Ore-- s-- Oreos
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are actually 1.7-times stuffed,"
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people are just gonna be like,
"All right, buddy.
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"Why don't you put on
this jacket
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"and get in this white van.
We got you.
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We're gonna find
the rest of the Oreos."
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The toilet paper one
is probably the worst.
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Yeah. 'Cause I'm sure,
like-like me,
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many of you, you know
how many sheets are in a roll.
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Yeah, I do it automatically
when I'm sitting there.
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I'll be like, "394, 395..."
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And then it's just like, "Aah!"
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If fact, you know what,
there should be a law.
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If companies are gonna shrink
their products,
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they should at least have
to tell us they're doing it.
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-(assenting, cheering)
-Yeah. 'Cause, right now,
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-right now, they're being slick.
-(applause)
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They're acting like drug dealers
cutting their product
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to stretch their supply.
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Now we got to try
to catch them out.
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"Wait a minute,
this yogurt is mostly bird poop.
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"You trying to get killed,
Trader Joe?!
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You trying to get killed?!"
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But let's move on
from America's current problem
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to America's eternal problem,
gun violence.
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This week,
Texas released its report
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on how
the Uvalde Police Department
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handled the school shooting
that happened there,
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and the report concluded
that the cops--
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and I'm quoting here--
"sucked ass."
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But the report added
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that, even if the police
response had been flawless,
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it wouldn't have saved
most of the kids,
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because someone armed
with an AR-15-style rifle
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can just do too much damage
too fast.
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So, the solution
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to try and stop
the next shooting is obvious.
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And, no,
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don't say
it's banning the AR-15s.
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That's racist.
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The Constitution is very clear
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about who has rights
in this country.
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It goes: corporations,
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guns,
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children,
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then guns again,
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then the national anthem,
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then women
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but only women
who are holding a gun.
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That's pretty much it.
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But, apparently, apparently,
if you're open-minded,
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there are lots of ways
to stop school shootings
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without getting rid of guns.
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In fact, check out what this one
school district in Texas
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is getting up to.
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NEWSMAN:
Here in North Texas,
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the Dallas ISD
is trying something new
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to keep students safe.
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It is requiring
clear or mesh backpacks
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for students
in sixth through 12th grades.
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NEWSMAN 2: Students will be able
to carry a small pouch
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inside the bag that isn't clear
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to hold cell phones, money,
and hygiene products.
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NEWSWOMAN: Clear backpacks--
are they effective
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in keeping weapons
out of schools?
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Experts say crime
does not necessarily go down
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because of them.
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Well-intended
but relatively ineffective.
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You can still hide a weapon
inside of a clear backpack,
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inside of a book, a cutout
in a book, inside of clothing.
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NEWSWOMAN: This video shows
how easy it is to hide weapons,
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regardless of having
a clear backpack or not.
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Goddamn!
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How many guns did
that guy have in his pants?
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Did you see that?
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'Cause, like,
it started out scary
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and then at some point
it was just like a magic trick.
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It was just like, "Oh, and this
one and this one and this one."
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And this, behind the ear,
an AR-15!
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But, for real,
what are we doing here, people?
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I'm constantly amazed
at how America is willing
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to get rid of everything
except guns.
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Everything will be considered.
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"All right, let's get rid
of normal backpacks.
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"Everything is see-through now.
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"Also, you know what?
No more clothes for these kids.
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"Yeah, yeah, they could be
hiding the guns anywhere.
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"In fact,
now that I think about it,
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"just get rid
of all the kids in school.
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"That way the guns
can finally go there in peace.
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I think we solved it."
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And you know who's really going
to be negatively affected
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by these clear backpacks--
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it's all those jocks
who are secretly smart, yeah.
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'Cause now they're going
to be exposed.
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It's gonna be like,
"Wait a minute, Chad,
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like, are you carrying around
Shakespeare in your backpack?"
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"No, dude, dude, it's just to
cover my boners, man, I swear.
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Dost thou not believeth me?"
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But clearly those things
are not going to stop shootings.
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There's only one thing
that is gonna stop shootings,
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and we all know what it is.
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Just cut to the chase
and arrest all the weird kids.
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Yeah, it's not fair
and it's definitely not legal.
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It's not a good idea.
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But it is a good idea.
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All right, finally,
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let's talk about the
United States Secret Service.
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The people who wore
one tiny earphone
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before AirPods were cool.
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Recently the Secret Service
has been all over the news
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because the January 6 committee
wants to know
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00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:23,043
what information they have
about President Trump's actions
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on the day
his fans went tailgating
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00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:26,914
in Nancy Pelosi's office,
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so the committee told
the Secret Service,
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"Give us all the text messages
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00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:32,352
that you guys were sending
that day,"
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but the Secret Service
said this.
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The Secret Service says
it cannot recover
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00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:39,026
the deleted text messages
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00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,995
from January 5th and 6th
of last year.
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00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:44,331
The Washington Post
is reporting the agency
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00:07:44,431 --> 00:07:46,900
has no new texts
to provide to Congress
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and that any other messages
exchanged between agents
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00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:52,339
around the time of the attack
were purged.
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NEWSWOMAN: The Secret Service
claims these messages
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00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:56,743
were erased as part
of a device replacement program,
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adding, "Any insinuation that
the Secret Service maliciously
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00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:04,318
deleted text messages
following a request is false."
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NEWSWOMAN 2:
Those Secret Service texts
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are gone, gone, gone.
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Gone, like really not ever
to be recovered.
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Wow.
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This is so sad.
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The Secret Service lost
all the texts from January 6th
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00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:24,505
because they were doing
a "device replacement program."
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What a perfect--
I mean terrible thing, oh.
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Why-why do I feel like this is
the same kind
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00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,379
of "device replacement program"
you do
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00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:33,680
when your partner asks you
to explain
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where you were the other night.
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00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:37,084
"Yeah, I was, I was due
for an upgrade
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00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:40,153
"because of what, uh, what, uh,
me and Keisha were up to,
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so I had to, yeah,
Apple called me, and yeah."
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00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:47,361
And you know it's interesting
how they're saying,
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"Once you delete a text,
there's no way to retrieve it."
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00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,331
Yeah, once they delete a text,
it's gone.
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00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:53,567
'Cause best believe,
if any of us "lost a text,"
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00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:56,036
the Secret Service
would find it, yeah.
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00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:58,705
They would find
the shit out of it.
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00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:02,209
You'd be like,
"Oh, I, I deleted it."
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00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:03,477
They'd be like,
"Give me that phone."
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00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:04,811
They'd be like, "Ha, so this is
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00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:05,879
what you were doing
with Keisha."
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00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:08,315
"Ah, shit."
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00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:10,651
And, look, I know many people
are angry, saying, like,
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00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:11,752
"I can't believe
the Secret Service
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00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:13,353
isn't handing over these texts."
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00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:15,622
Well, but I don't know, maybe
it's because I'm South African.
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00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,724
I just assumed
this would happen.
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00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,060
Yeah, it's the Secret Service.
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00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,429
That's their job, right?
To keep secrets.
249
00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:24,298
In fact, if they give you the
texts, you should fire them.
250
00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:26,600
Snitch.
251
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,435
The real question
we should be asking is,
252
00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:30,704
why are they even texting?
253
00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,940
Imagine this--
the Capitol was being overrun
254
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,342
by a mob of Facebook comments
come to life,
255
00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:37,444
people are trying to hang
the vice president,
256
00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:40,314
and the Secret Service
is texting?
257
00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:41,648
Guys, what is this thing for?
258
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,951
(muttering)
259
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:46,820
What?
260
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,156
(muttering)
261
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,357
You're telling me
all that shit was happening
262
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:51,692
and someone's using text?
263
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,394
They're just like, "Hey, guys,
just wanted to warn you,
264
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,997
"the vice president is in Asia.
265
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,132
"Oh, sorry, autocorrect.
266
00:09:59,233 --> 00:10:01,034
"I meant danger.
267
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:02,836
"The vice president
is in danger.
268
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:06,807
Send back-- Never mind,
the problem solved itself."
269
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,041
And I know a lot of people think
270
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,110
that this was a huge conspiracy,
I do, you know.
271
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,478
People say that this is proof
272
00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,814
that the Secret Service was
in on the Capitol plot,
273
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:17,618
but it could also be
a much simpler answer.
274
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:20,153
You know, maybe they just don't
want people to see the texts
275
00:10:20,254 --> 00:10:23,490
that they were sending
about their boss, yeah.
276
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:24,992
Like, I-I know
I wouldn't want that.
277
00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:27,227
Can you imagining being
at the congressional hearing,
278
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:29,730
and Liz Cheney is like,
"So Agent Johnson,
279
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,265
"what did you mean
when you texted
280
00:10:31,365 --> 00:10:35,202
President poop emoji is
baby crying emoji in car emoji?"
281
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,304
-He's like, "Uh, I'd rather go
to jail, ma'am." -(applause)
282
00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:39,306
All right, that's it for the
headlines, but before we go,
283
00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:40,841
let's check in on traffic
284
00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:42,776
with our very own Roy wood, Jr.,
everybody!
285
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:45,145
(applause and cheering)
286
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:47,514
Yes.
287
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,950
What's going on, Roy?
How you doing?
288
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:52,019
What up, man?
289
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:55,322
So, what's, uh...
what's happening in the traffic?
290
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:59,526
(laughter)
291
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:02,129
(laughter)
292
00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:03,630
What do you want to know?
293
00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:05,632
-I don't know why we always...
-What do you want to know
294
00:11:05,732 --> 00:11:07,401
-about traffic? -Why do we
always have to fight about this?
295
00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:09,303
Roy, I want to know
what the traffic is, okay?
296
00:11:09,403 --> 00:11:11,271
-Oh, you want
to know the traffic? -Yeah.
297
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:12,873
Okay, all right,
all right, all right.
298
00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:15,576
-That is a car.
-(laughter)
299
00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:18,212
When there is a group of them,
300
00:11:18,312 --> 00:11:21,849
it is called a traffic.
301
00:11:21,949 --> 00:11:25,452
So that is group of traffics
302
00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:27,454
all moving around.
I mean, honestly, like, like,
303
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:29,223
what we really need
to be talking about is
304
00:11:29,323 --> 00:11:32,125
how the price of gas went down,
and that's why traffic went up.
305
00:11:32,226 --> 00:11:33,794
'Cause everybody
outside driving again.
306
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,262
-It's terrible. This is
terrible. -What? No, no. Wait.
307
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,597
Gas going down is terrible.
308
00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:37,931
No, you can't say it's terrible.
309
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,499
You were the one
standing here saying
310
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,134
you want the price of gas to go
down. That's what you said.
311
00:11:41,235 --> 00:11:43,136
-When did I say that?
-(laughter)
312
00:11:43,237 --> 00:11:45,572
No, you said that on the show.
313
00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:47,941
On this... I... On this show?
I said it on this show?
314
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,443
Which other show, Roy?
You said it on this show.
315
00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:51,445
You can't prove that.
We ain't got no tapes.
316
00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:53,814
Look, what we need
to be talking about...
317
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:55,983
What we need to be talking about
is this shrinkflation, 'cause
318
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:57,784
-that's a serious issue-- that
shrinkflation. -It really is.
319
00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,486
I experience shrinkflation
all the time.
320
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:01,522
I'll be in the drive-through.
I'll be in the drive-through.
321
00:12:01,622 --> 00:12:03,824
-And you see that big burger
on the picture. -Yeah.
322
00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:05,492
They show you
a big perfect burger,
323
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:07,194
and you go around
to pick up your burger,
324
00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:09,062
-and that burger has shrinked.
-I don't think that...
325
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:10,631
-That's shrinkflation.
-I don't think
326
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:12,032
-that's shrinkflation. -There's
all types of shrinkflation.
327
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:13,400
I don't think
that's the same thing.
328
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,269
And that's just one
of the many forms.
329
00:12:15,369 --> 00:12:17,237
That's different, but yeah.
330
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,907
Like, 'cause it's not just
the products that y'all was...
331
00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:21,408
that you was talking
about just now.
332
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,477
It's a lot
of different things.
333
00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:26,747
-Let me ask you
a serious question. -Yeah.
334
00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:30,551
Have you noticed that
you've been getting less condom?
335
00:12:30,651 --> 00:12:34,454
(laughter)
336
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:37,191
I'm...
337
00:12:37,291 --> 00:12:38,725
And on a three-pack.
You buy a three pack.
338
00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:40,527
-Have you noticed... less
condom? -So, wait, wait.
339
00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:42,095
So you're...
you're saying there's...
340
00:12:42,196 --> 00:12:44,965
Are you saying have I noticed
that there are fewer condoms
341
00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:49,069
-in the pack? -WOMAN: No. No.
-(laughter)
342
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,171
Don't-don't...
There's people here.
343
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:54,007
Don't make me explain this.
344
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,510
Less... Like...
345
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:57,978
All right, you know, like, when
you got, like, a fitted hat,
346
00:12:58,078 --> 00:12:59,379
at first, it come down to here,
347
00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:00,914
and then, it just be
sitting up there.
348
00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:05,085
-(laughter, applause)
-Like, out of nowhere,
349
00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:06,587
you don't have
as much fitted hat.
350
00:13:06,687 --> 00:13:08,989
The fitted hat be up here. Like,
where's the rest of the...?
351
00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:12,025
(laughter)
352
00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:16,697
Do you even use contraception?
Do you even understand?
353
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:19,666
(laughter, applause)
354
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,401
-That's on the roll.
-Roy, let's-let's...
355
00:13:21,502 --> 00:13:23,604
Can we talk about the traffic?
356
00:13:23,704 --> 00:13:27,241
Look, here's the other thing
about shrinkflation.
357
00:13:27,341 --> 00:13:29,810
We don't need to just focus
on what's happening now.
358
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:32,679
We got to go back
to the source of shrinkflation.
359
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:35,249
The first group of people
that started shrinkflation.
360
00:13:35,349 --> 00:13:36,750
We got to shut them down,
361
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,318
and then that's how you stop
all the shrinkflation.
362
00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:40,020
-Well, who started it?
-The shrinkflation ain't new.
363
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,922
That's been going...
You know who did it first?
364
00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:44,157
-The Girl Scouts.
-(laughter)
365
00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:47,160
-The Girl Scouts did it first.
-(applause and cheering)
366
00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:51,798
Don't you trust them little
berets. Them Girl Scout...
367
00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:53,867
When you used to buy Girl Scout
cookies, the cookie...
368
00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:56,403
the Girl Scout cookie boxes
would be this long back in '84.
369
00:13:56,503 --> 00:14:00,574
Now, every year,
shorter and shorter and shorter,
370
00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:03,977
the cookies are thinner,
and thinner and thinner.
371
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:06,180
(applause)
372
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,915
And that's not right, man.
That's not right.
373
00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:09,616
Then to add insult to injury...
374
00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,385
At least with these corporations
now--
375
00:14:11,485 --> 00:14:13,253
oh, you made the box
of cereal smaller,
376
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:16,023
but at least they leave the
regular logo and the regular,
377
00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:18,358
like, picture
of the cereal on the box.
378
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:19,793
You know what
the Girl Scouts do?
379
00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:22,496
You know what these little...
little evil berets do?
380
00:14:22,596 --> 00:14:26,066
Not only do the Girls Scouts
shrinkflate the box.
381
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:29,436
No. Then they charge you
more money for less product.
382
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,839
Then they put a picture
on the box
383
00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:36,476
-of them having a good time
with your money. -(laughter)
384
00:14:36,577 --> 00:14:39,346
-(applause and cheering)
-How disrespectful is that.
385
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:46,053
All right, you want to talk
about the traffic now?
386
00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:48,755
No, I feel like we ran out
of time once again, Roy.
387
00:14:48,856 --> 00:14:50,090
No, we can talk about it.
I got time now.
388
00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:51,425
No, no, no, we're good.
We got this.
389
00:14:51,525 --> 00:14:52,993
-We can talk about it.
-This always happens,
390
00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:54,428
and then we...
You know? It's fine.
391
00:14:54,528 --> 00:14:56,930
That's my bad. That's my bad.
392
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,099
-Next time?
-Next time.
393
00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:00,968
Next time,
I got you on traffic, for real.
394
00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:04,838
-Oh, I'll believe it when I see
it. -I'm for real. I got you.
395
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:06,240
I feel like you promise me
this much traffic,
396
00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:09,176
-and then it shrinks down.
-(laughter)
397
00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:10,644
-(applause and cheering)
-What did you just say?
398
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,045
Thank you so much, Roy Wood, Jr.
All right,
399
00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:13,580
we're going to take
a quick break, before we go,
400
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,249
don't eat that apple.
401
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:17,050
We'll tell you why
after we come back.
402
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:19,186
(applause and cheering)
403
00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,395
(cheering and applause)
404
00:15:31,634 --> 00:15:32,902
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
405
00:15:33,002 --> 00:15:35,337
If you've spent any time online
at all,
406
00:15:35,437 --> 00:15:37,606
you know that there are
conspiracy theories
407
00:15:37,706 --> 00:15:38,774
about everything.
408
00:15:38,874 --> 00:15:40,609
The war in Ukraine is scripted.
409
00:15:40,709 --> 00:15:42,845
The FBI did January 6.
410
00:15:42,945 --> 00:15:44,146
The Illuminati is real,
411
00:15:44,246 --> 00:15:46,382
but Beyoncé isn't in it.
412
00:15:46,482 --> 00:15:48,250
But those are
just the obvious ones,
413
00:15:48,350 --> 00:15:49,818
which is why we have
a special segment
414
00:15:49,919 --> 00:15:53,689
that reveals the conspiracies
you never even knew about.
415
00:15:53,789 --> 00:15:56,458
KOSTA: Conspiracies.
They're everywhere.
416
00:15:56,558 --> 00:15:58,027
Or are they nowhere?
417
00:15:58,127 --> 00:16:01,864
Or is that exactly what
they want you to think?
418
00:16:01,964 --> 00:16:03,799
So that's where my wallet is.
419
00:16:03,899 --> 00:16:05,434
Well, for every they...
420
00:16:06,402 --> 00:16:07,836
...there's a me.
421
00:16:07,937 --> 00:16:09,605
I'm Kevin Matthew Kelp.
422
00:16:09,705 --> 00:16:11,607
Follow me
as I pull back the curtain
423
00:16:11,707 --> 00:16:13,709
to find the truth behind...
424
00:16:13,809 --> 00:16:14,910
the curtain.
425
00:16:15,010 --> 00:16:18,547
This is Project: Conspiracy.
426
00:16:18,647 --> 00:16:20,115
♪ ♪
427
00:16:22,117 --> 00:16:24,353
(panting)
428
00:16:24,453 --> 00:16:26,422
A lot of the most well-known
conspiracies
429
00:16:26,522 --> 00:16:28,324
are about what goes
into our bodies--
430
00:16:28,424 --> 00:16:30,392
fluoride, microchips,
431
00:16:30,492 --> 00:16:33,362
spiders the Chinese sent
to crawl into our mouths
432
00:16:33,462 --> 00:16:34,530
while we sleep.
433
00:16:34,630 --> 00:16:36,765
But there might be
one government spyware
434
00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:38,867
that we've all been overlooking.
435
00:16:38,968 --> 00:16:40,302
That's right.
436
00:16:40,402 --> 00:16:41,637
Fruit.
437
00:16:41,737 --> 00:16:43,038
Let's go.
438
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:47,509
Look, every single piece
of fruit has a sticker on it.
439
00:16:47,610 --> 00:16:49,478
Apples.
440
00:16:49,578 --> 00:16:51,280
Pears.
441
00:16:51,380 --> 00:16:52,781
Whatever these are.
442
00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:54,049
Even the pineapples.
443
00:16:54,149 --> 00:16:55,784
Ow! Godda--
444
00:16:55,884 --> 00:16:57,720
These fruit-- Ow.
445
00:16:57,820 --> 00:16:58,921
(bleep)
446
00:16:59,021 --> 00:17:00,322
(exhales)
447
00:17:00,422 --> 00:17:02,391
These fruit stickers
were everywhere,
448
00:17:02,491 --> 00:17:04,426
but they weren't the fun kind
that say things
449
00:17:04,526 --> 00:17:07,396
like "Grape job!"
or "I love you berry much."
450
00:17:07,496 --> 00:17:11,400
Instead, they were filled
with mysterious numerical codes.
451
00:17:12,868 --> 00:17:14,937
(whispers):
Granny Smith.
452
00:17:15,037 --> 00:17:17,206
How do they know
my grandmother's last name?
453
00:17:17,306 --> 00:17:18,607
♪ ♪
454
00:17:18,707 --> 00:17:21,644
I tried everything I could
to crack this conspiracy.
455
00:17:21,744 --> 00:17:24,346
I listed every number
I could think of.
456
00:17:24,446 --> 00:17:25,614
-Even seven.
-(sighs)
457
00:17:25,714 --> 00:17:26,949
But it was no use.
458
00:17:27,049 --> 00:17:28,851
The codes were unbreakable.
459
00:17:28,951 --> 00:17:31,654
If I was ever going to blow
this conspiracy wide open,
460
00:17:31,754 --> 00:17:33,889
I'd have to go undercover.
461
00:17:34,857 --> 00:17:36,592
I love fruit.
462
00:17:36,692 --> 00:17:38,761
Just love buying fruit.
463
00:17:39,762 --> 00:17:42,665
Just an ordinary guy
buying lots of fruit.
464
00:17:42,765 --> 00:17:45,267
Yeah, you're probably wondering
why I'm buying so much fruit.
465
00:17:45,367 --> 00:17:46,969
It's 'cause I'm having
a fruit party later.
466
00:17:47,069 --> 00:17:49,838
-Okay. -Unfortunately
you can't come, so...
467
00:17:49,939 --> 00:17:52,308
-Okay. -Yeah. Hey, I did notice
that, on all the fruit,
468
00:17:52,408 --> 00:17:53,676
they have these stickers.
469
00:17:53,776 --> 00:17:55,311
You don't know
what that's about, do you?
470
00:17:55,411 --> 00:17:57,846
Um, I guess so they can track
the fruit or something?
471
00:17:57,947 --> 00:17:59,248
Oh, my God,
she admitted it. Run.
472
00:17:59,348 --> 00:18:00,783
-Oh, my God. -Who are you
talking to? Hey, you forgot
473
00:18:00,883 --> 00:18:02,251
-the fruit for your fruit party!
-Oh, my God, oh, my God,
474
00:18:02,351 --> 00:18:04,053
oh, my God, oh, my God.
(pants)
475
00:18:04,153 --> 00:18:05,688
Okay, so thanks to
my espionage skills,
476
00:18:05,788 --> 00:18:08,357
we've established that the codes
are used for tracking.
477
00:18:08,457 --> 00:18:10,059
But now it's time to find out
478
00:18:10,159 --> 00:18:12,194
who's doing the tracking.
479
00:18:13,162 --> 00:18:14,797
-Does anybody know where
these little... -After my usual
480
00:18:14,897 --> 00:18:17,099
investigative techniques
turned up nothing...
481
00:18:17,199 --> 00:18:19,702
Does anybody know where these
little stickers come from?!
482
00:18:19,802 --> 00:18:21,604
...I was able to find
some answers
483
00:18:21,704 --> 00:18:24,173
by hacking the deep state.
484
00:18:24,273 --> 00:18:25,841
♪ ♪
485
00:18:25,941 --> 00:18:27,476
Meet the IFPS,
486
00:18:27,576 --> 00:18:29,445
A.K.A. the International
Federation
487
00:18:29,545 --> 00:18:30,779
for Produce Standards,
488
00:18:30,879 --> 00:18:32,915
A.K.A. a secret global cabal
489
00:18:33,015 --> 00:18:34,617
because I've never heard of it
before.
490
00:18:34,717 --> 00:18:35,618
And guess what--
491
00:18:35,718 --> 00:18:37,419
they're in cahoots with...
492
00:18:37,519 --> 00:18:38,787
the FDA,
493
00:18:38,887 --> 00:18:41,824
A.K.A. the government.
494
00:18:41,924 --> 00:18:44,460
The FDA regulates
the adhesives on these stickers,
495
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:47,096
and they just so happen to be
the same shadow organization
496
00:18:47,196 --> 00:18:48,998
that recommends you eat
497
00:18:49,098 --> 00:18:53,068
three to four servings
of fruit every day,
498
00:18:53,168 --> 00:18:54,737
an amount of fruit so ridiculous
499
00:18:54,837 --> 00:18:57,206
that anyone who's tried
to do it has probably consumed
500
00:18:57,306 --> 00:18:59,775
two to three stickers
without even realizing it.
501
00:18:59,875 --> 00:19:02,244
Are these stickers
tracking the fruit?
502
00:19:02,344 --> 00:19:06,882
Or maybe they're tracking...
503
00:19:06,982 --> 00:19:08,918
you.
504
00:19:09,018 --> 00:19:10,619
So is the government
really trying to trick us
505
00:19:10,719 --> 00:19:12,855
into eating stickers--
506
00:19:12,955 --> 00:19:14,323
something every teacher
from kindergarten
507
00:19:14,423 --> 00:19:16,392
through college told me
not to do?
508
00:19:16,492 --> 00:19:19,194
There's only one way
to find out.
509
00:19:19,295 --> 00:19:22,498
Let's see if my stomach
can handle the truth.
510
00:19:24,133 --> 00:19:26,335
Should have gone with the apple.
511
00:19:30,773 --> 00:19:33,075
It was immediately clear
that eating the sticker
512
00:19:33,175 --> 00:19:36,378
turned me into a walking GPS
for the government.
513
00:19:36,478 --> 00:19:38,614
(whimpering)
514
00:19:38,714 --> 00:19:40,049
-(whistling)
-Everywhere I went,
515
00:19:40,149 --> 00:19:41,784
I was being followed
by Big Brother.
516
00:19:41,884 --> 00:19:44,320
The police watched
my every move.
517
00:19:44,420 --> 00:19:46,989
Secret agents pretended
to read newspapers.
518
00:19:47,089 --> 00:19:48,691
Hey. What? Hey!
519
00:19:48,791 --> 00:19:51,994
Hey, not so sneaky with your
special spy gadget now, are you?
520
00:19:52,094 --> 00:19:53,996
The evidence
couldn't be clearer.
521
00:19:54,096 --> 00:19:56,832
The FDA is tracking us
through fruit stickers.
522
00:19:56,932 --> 00:20:01,370
More like The Food and...
Deceit Administration.
523
00:20:01,470 --> 00:20:03,372
That's actually pretty good.
I should write that down.
524
00:20:03,472 --> 00:20:05,541
God, where do you come up
with this stuff, Kevin?
525
00:20:05,641 --> 00:20:09,812
Aah! Aah!
526
00:20:09,912 --> 00:20:11,814
Now that
I've uncovered the truth,
527
00:20:11,914 --> 00:20:14,450
I can't be a part of this
corrupt sticker system anymore.
528
00:20:14,550 --> 00:20:18,087
And luckily, I don't need
the FDA and their spy fruit
529
00:20:18,187 --> 00:20:20,656
because some of the best fruit
actually is regulated
530
00:20:20,756 --> 00:20:24,693
by Mother Nature.
Oh, yeah. (chuckles)
531
00:20:26,896 --> 00:20:29,565
Mmm. Mmm.
532
00:20:29,665 --> 00:20:32,201
Tastes like freedom. Yeah.
533
00:20:32,301 --> 00:20:35,070
It's a little funky, okay?
534
00:20:35,170 --> 00:20:37,506
It burns a lot.
535
00:20:37,606 --> 00:20:39,942
(coughing)
536
00:20:40,042 --> 00:20:42,111
♪ ♪
537
00:20:48,150 --> 00:20:49,585
-(cheers and applause)
-Rest in peace, Kevin.
538
00:20:49,685 --> 00:20:51,387
All right, stay tuned
because when we come back,
539
00:20:51,487 --> 00:20:54,056
the director of the world's
biggest telescope will tell me
540
00:20:54,156 --> 00:20:56,125
what he's found in outer space,
so don't go away.
541
00:20:56,225 --> 00:20:58,260
(applause and cheering)
542
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:08,155
(cheering and applause)
543
00:21:11,425 --> 00:21:13,060
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
544
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:16,530
My guest tonight is
a longtime NASA employee
545
00:21:16,630 --> 00:21:18,899
who oversaw the program
that launched the largest
546
00:21:18,999 --> 00:21:21,702
and most powerful satellite
into space.
547
00:21:21,802 --> 00:21:23,404
For the first time ever,
548
00:21:23,504 --> 00:21:25,806
thanks to the James Webb
Space Telescope,
549
00:21:25,906 --> 00:21:28,542
we're seeing deeper into
the universe than ever before.
550
00:21:28,642 --> 00:21:30,744
So please welcome
Gregory Robinson.
551
00:21:30,844 --> 00:21:32,880
-♪ ♪
-(cheering and applause)
552
00:21:36,784 --> 00:21:38,218
Welcome.
553
00:21:38,318 --> 00:21:39,486
Thank you.
554
00:21:45,659 --> 00:21:47,294
Mr. Robinson,
welcome to The Daily Show.
555
00:21:47,394 --> 00:21:49,697
-Hey, I'm glad to be here. It's
really an honor. -I'm so excited
556
00:21:49,797 --> 00:21:52,633
to have you here, because this
is one of the biggest stories.
557
00:21:52,733 --> 00:21:54,468
You know? Everyone saw it
on social media.
558
00:21:54,568 --> 00:21:57,738
There was a picture of, like,
what seemed like the universe,
559
00:21:57,838 --> 00:21:59,139
everything,
and then it was like,
560
00:21:59,239 --> 00:22:01,275
"Here's the old one.
Here's the new one,"
561
00:22:01,375 --> 00:22:03,277
and then we all had to act
like we knew
562
00:22:03,377 --> 00:22:05,612
-why that was important.
-(laughing)
563
00:22:05,713 --> 00:22:08,315
But you're actually the person
behind why it happened
564
00:22:08,415 --> 00:22:09,583
and how it--
how it got together.
565
00:22:09,683 --> 00:22:10,918
So let's start with this.
566
00:22:11,018 --> 00:22:12,553
For everybody-everybody
to be on the same page--
567
00:22:12,653 --> 00:22:14,555
-mostly me-- um...
-(chuckles)
568
00:22:14,655 --> 00:22:18,025
...why is this jump in telescope
technology so impressive
569
00:22:18,125 --> 00:22:19,426
and why is it so important?
570
00:22:19,526 --> 00:22:21,295
So, when we compare,
we're comparing to Hubble,
571
00:22:21,395 --> 00:22:23,931
-which was, uh, state-of-the-art
30 years ago. -Mm-hmm.
572
00:22:24,031 --> 00:22:26,000
And Webb gives us
a much bigger mirror.
573
00:22:26,100 --> 00:22:29,870
It's 6.5 meters
versus 2.4, uh, for Hubble.
574
00:22:29,970 --> 00:22:31,638
And the infrared technology,
575
00:22:31,739 --> 00:22:33,440
if you think about--
look at, like, night vision...
576
00:22:33,540 --> 00:22:36,110
-Yeah. -...you can see heat,
uh, uh, through something.
577
00:22:36,243 --> 00:22:37,911
Uh, so it gives us
infrared capabilities
578
00:22:38,012 --> 00:22:40,347
so we can look
through the-the dust and clouds
579
00:22:40,447 --> 00:22:41,749
and gook of space
580
00:22:41,849 --> 00:22:43,817
and look much further back.
581
00:22:43,917 --> 00:22:45,352
Uh, of course,
our science instruments
582
00:22:45,452 --> 00:22:47,588
are a lot more complex, too,
583
00:22:47,688 --> 00:22:49,256
so the clarity is a lot better
584
00:22:49,356 --> 00:22:50,658
and the depth is a lot better.
585
00:22:50,758 --> 00:22:53,460
What-what I know, um,
is really confusing sometimes
586
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,262
when talking
about anything in space
587
00:22:55,362 --> 00:22:58,365
is that sometimes they say
things in terms of time
588
00:22:58,465 --> 00:23:00,868
and sometimes they say things
in terms of distance.
589
00:23:00,968 --> 00:23:02,269
And it gets a little--
You know, they'll be like,
590
00:23:02,336 --> 00:23:05,673
"We're seeing something
from 13 billion years ago."
591
00:23:05,773 --> 00:23:07,608
I'm like... (stammers)
"I'm sorry, what?"
592
00:23:07,708 --> 00:23:10,544
-(laughing) -'Kay, wh-what d--
what does that even mean?
593
00:23:10,644 --> 00:23:12,346
Well, sometimes I say "What?"
as well.
594
00:23:12,446 --> 00:23:14,114
-(laughs)
-So... (chuckles)
595
00:23:14,214 --> 00:23:16,784
S-So, we're-we're looking
at-at light traveling
596
00:23:16,884 --> 00:23:18,719
186,000 miles per second,
597
00:23:18,819 --> 00:23:20,120
-if you can imagine that.
-Okay.
598
00:23:20,220 --> 00:23:22,289
So we're looking at light,
something that happened
599
00:23:22,389 --> 00:23:25,693
billions of years ago,
and it's just reaching us now.
600
00:23:25,793 --> 00:23:28,962
So it's-it's time, distance,
travel of light.
601
00:23:29,063 --> 00:23:30,698
And that's actually what
we're looking at.
602
00:23:30,798 --> 00:23:34,568
And so we can see what happened
a really long time ago
603
00:23:34,668 --> 00:23:36,537
somewhere else out there.
604
00:23:36,637 --> 00:23:38,572
What do we use
this information for?
605
00:23:38,672 --> 00:23:41,942
Like, will it tell us that
aliens, like, left a long time,
606
00:23:42,042 --> 00:23:43,243
and now they're already here?
607
00:23:43,344 --> 00:23:45,045
Does it, does it tell us
where we're going to go
608
00:23:45,145 --> 00:23:46,046
after we destroy Earth?
609
00:23:46,146 --> 00:23:48,015
What is it telling us?
610
00:23:48,115 --> 00:23:50,651
Well, you know,
in astrophysics and astronomy
611
00:23:50,751 --> 00:23:52,286
we're always looking
to answer questions.
612
00:23:52,386 --> 00:23:53,454
Uh, where do we come from?
613
00:23:53,554 --> 00:23:54,755
How do we fit
into this universe?
614
00:23:54,855 --> 00:23:56,056
Are we alone?
615
00:23:56,156 --> 00:23:57,891
Which is another one,
uh, we-we're looking for.
616
00:23:57,992 --> 00:24:03,263
So it helps inform us
on how we fit into the universe.
617
00:24:03,364 --> 00:24:04,798
And-and as far as light travel,
618
00:24:04,898 --> 00:24:06,200
I remember growing up
in the country
619
00:24:06,266 --> 00:24:09,003
and shining a flashlight
up in the sky and saying,
620
00:24:09,103 --> 00:24:12,239
"I wonder how long it's taking
that to get to certain points."
621
00:24:12,339 --> 00:24:14,408
-Oh, wow. -And which is the same
kind of thing as light travel,
622
00:24:14,508 --> 00:24:15,843
which is what
you're looking for.
623
00:24:15,943 --> 00:24:17,378
It's interesting you say that,
growing up in the country,
624
00:24:17,478 --> 00:24:19,213
because I-I've read your story,
625
00:24:19,279 --> 00:24:21,415
and you have one
of the most fascinating journeys
626
00:24:21,515 --> 00:24:22,483
I've ever come across.
627
00:24:22,583 --> 00:24:23,817
Because you grew up,
628
00:24:23,917 --> 00:24:26,520
your parents were sharecroppers
in rural Virginia,
629
00:24:26,620 --> 00:24:27,921
all right, you went
to a segregated school,
630
00:24:28,022 --> 00:24:30,524
you didn't have the education
that you wanted to,
631
00:24:30,624 --> 00:24:33,427
and then here you are,
the man who was brought in
632
00:24:33,527 --> 00:24:36,296
to basically get
this $10 billion telescope
633
00:24:36,397 --> 00:24:37,398
up and running.
634
00:24:37,498 --> 00:24:38,399
It was failing
before you stepped in.
635
00:24:38,499 --> 00:24:39,633
They called you
and they're like,
636
00:24:39,733 --> 00:24:41,669
"We need you to do this,"
and you did it.
637
00:24:41,769 --> 00:24:44,705
-How-- like, how...?
-(cheering and applause)
638
00:24:44,805 --> 00:24:45,906
Where does that love come from,
639
00:24:46,006 --> 00:24:47,441
and how did you get
into this role?
640
00:24:47,541 --> 00:24:49,777
So, uh, a couple things.
641
00:24:49,877 --> 00:24:52,780
One is, um, that education
in the segregated school
642
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:54,715
-was-was excellent.
-Wow.
643
00:24:54,815 --> 00:24:56,984
We had some of the best teachers
in the world.
644
00:24:57,084 --> 00:24:58,619
Uh, many of them were
far more educated
645
00:24:58,719 --> 00:25:00,421
than the teachers
in other schools
646
00:25:00,521 --> 00:25:02,656
because they couldn't get jobs
in the industry
647
00:25:02,756 --> 00:25:05,192
like they can today,
so we had great teachers
648
00:25:05,225 --> 00:25:07,361
who really nurtured us
and cared about us.
649
00:25:07,461 --> 00:25:09,997
Uh, so my beginnings
were-were very strong.
650
00:25:10,097 --> 00:25:13,000
And so, of course, I-I lived
through the Apollo time--
651
00:25:13,100 --> 00:25:15,369
I was a little kid then--
which excited me,
652
00:25:15,469 --> 00:25:17,104
but that still didn't get
my interest in space.
653
00:25:17,204 --> 00:25:18,539
So, I was in college,
654
00:25:18,639 --> 00:25:22,209
and-and friends of mine
actually did internships at NASA
655
00:25:22,309 --> 00:25:24,611
and they made it sound,
sound so interesting,
656
00:25:24,712 --> 00:25:27,281
and a few years later I started
my career in the industry,
657
00:25:27,381 --> 00:25:29,350
but a few years later
I actually joined NASA.
658
00:25:29,450 --> 00:25:31,685
And, uh,
four and a half years ago,
659
00:25:31,785 --> 00:25:34,221
um, uh, there were some issues.
660
00:25:34,254 --> 00:25:37,124
Um, my boss asked me
to, to, uh, try
661
00:25:37,224 --> 00:25:38,559
to get it over the goal line.
662
00:25:38,659 --> 00:25:41,228
Now, I will say a lot
of the work was already done,
663
00:25:41,328 --> 00:25:42,396
-already completed.
-Yeah, yeah.
664
00:25:42,496 --> 00:25:44,999
So, uh, thanks
to the team for that.
665
00:25:45,099 --> 00:25:48,602
And this team is an incredibly,
incredibly smart team of people,
666
00:25:48,702 --> 00:25:50,237
if you can imagine, at NASA.
667
00:25:50,270 --> 00:25:52,639
So, smarts is never
a shortage at NASA
668
00:25:52,740 --> 00:25:54,875
and certainly not for this team.
669
00:25:54,975 --> 00:25:57,644
And this team is not just NASA,
it's our whole industrial base,
670
00:25:57,745 --> 00:25:59,813
uh, plus
the European Space Agency
671
00:25:59,913 --> 00:26:02,850
and the Canadian Space Agency--
two of our-our big partners.
672
00:26:02,950 --> 00:26:04,284
Let me ask you a question.
673
00:26:04,385 --> 00:26:07,187
And I-I believe that you-you're
retiring soon, correct?
674
00:26:07,221 --> 00:26:08,188
Uh, yes, I'm retiring soon.
675
00:26:08,255 --> 00:26:09,623
-Life comes at me fast.
-Wow.
676
00:26:09,723 --> 00:26:10,924
-So, so, uh...
-That-that's sad.
677
00:26:11,025 --> 00:26:12,793
'Cause, I mean, you've been
around for so long.
678
00:26:12,893 --> 00:26:14,261
You've been... you've been
doing such a great job.
679
00:26:14,361 --> 00:26:15,896
-So, uh... -I know NASA's
going to miss you.
680
00:26:15,996 --> 00:26:18,098
But-but because
you are retiring,
681
00:26:18,198 --> 00:26:19,600
I feel like you could,
you could probably tell me
682
00:26:19,700 --> 00:26:21,235
a few things
you wouldn't be allowed to...
683
00:26:21,335 --> 00:26:22,970
Like, you know,
when you're leaving.
684
00:26:23,070 --> 00:26:25,406
Like, so, have you taken
any pictures
685
00:26:25,506 --> 00:26:28,008
and then seen something that,
like they don't tell us about?
686
00:26:28,108 --> 00:26:29,843
-Like, you know...
-(laughter)
687
00:26:29,943 --> 00:26:31,211
-(chuckling) -Like,
let me put it this way.
688
00:26:31,311 --> 00:26:33,280
In New York, if you have, like,
a superpowered telescope
689
00:26:33,380 --> 00:26:34,581
and you shine it in another
person's apartment,
690
00:26:34,682 --> 00:26:36,417
-you might see some things.
-(laughter)
691
00:26:36,517 --> 00:26:38,519
And I'm wondering if you've
seen some things out there
692
00:26:38,619 --> 00:26:39,586
but then you don't tell us.
693
00:26:39,687 --> 00:26:41,555
Or are these all the pictures?
694
00:26:41,655 --> 00:26:43,090
You can just wink if I'm close.
695
00:26:43,223 --> 00:26:45,059
-You can...
-(laughter)
696
00:26:45,225 --> 00:26:47,261
Well, I think your-your
telescope in New York example,
697
00:26:47,361 --> 00:26:49,963
you probably see something
you've already seen before.
698
00:26:50,064 --> 00:26:52,499
-(laughter)
-(applause)
699
00:26:53,367 --> 00:26:55,769
Uh, I think in our case,
700
00:26:55,869 --> 00:26:57,771
uh, we will certainly see
things we haven't seen before
701
00:26:57,871 --> 00:26:59,440
but a lot clearer.
702
00:26:59,540 --> 00:27:00,874
And we will,
we will learn things
703
00:27:00,974 --> 00:27:03,644
that we could never even imagine
so as we answer questions
704
00:27:03,744 --> 00:27:06,680
we also will create
new questions for the future.
705
00:27:06,780 --> 00:27:09,616
What are we using the answers
to these questions to do?
706
00:27:09,717 --> 00:27:12,953
You know? I-I understand
there is some importance to it
707
00:27:13,053 --> 00:27:14,855
but how does it help
what happens on Earth
708
00:27:14,955 --> 00:27:17,191
or what are people hoping
we'll learn
709
00:27:17,291 --> 00:27:19,326
from these telescopes
and what they are revealing?
710
00:27:19,426 --> 00:27:21,795
Well, one,
we'd learn a lot about physics.
711
00:27:21,895 --> 00:27:23,030
And if you think about it,
712
00:27:23,197 --> 00:27:24,631
uh, if you go back
many, many years,
713
00:27:24,732 --> 00:27:27,301
uh, and you think of
the physics textbooks.
714
00:27:27,401 --> 00:27:30,971
Um, we have information today
that wasn't there then
715
00:27:31,071 --> 00:27:33,107
and-and if you think about,
716
00:27:33,207 --> 00:27:35,009
-ah, geez, just a hundred
years ago... -Mm-hmm.
717
00:27:35,109 --> 00:27:37,211
...we thought that was just
one galaxy
718
00:27:37,244 --> 00:27:39,780
in the whole universe. Ours.
719
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:41,215
And, uh, Hubble--
720
00:27:41,315 --> 00:27:43,550
uh, Hubble telescope
is named after him--
721
00:27:43,650 --> 00:27:45,386
discovered more galaxies.
722
00:27:45,486 --> 00:27:47,788
So we know a lot more
about who we are,
723
00:27:47,888 --> 00:27:49,490
where we are,
where we come from.
724
00:27:49,590 --> 00:27:52,926
And so that's on an
astrophysics side,
725
00:27:53,027 --> 00:27:56,563
but other science missions
tell us a lot about the Earth,
726
00:27:56,664 --> 00:27:58,565
how interaction with the sun,
how that impacts,
727
00:27:58,666 --> 00:28:01,402
so the Earth has a system
within our own solar system.
728
00:28:01,502 --> 00:28:02,736
I see.
729
00:28:02,836 --> 00:28:05,939
So, now that you have
the James Webb telescope,
730
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,375
I mean, Hubble was,
until a few months ago,
731
00:28:08,475 --> 00:28:11,245
you know,
was everybody's bae in space.
732
00:28:11,345 --> 00:28:12,646
-You know, and then...
-(laughter)
733
00:28:12,746 --> 00:28:15,315
I-I just felt a little,
you know...
734
00:28:15,416 --> 00:28:17,351
I felt a little sad
on-on Hubble's behalf.
735
00:28:17,451 --> 00:28:18,585
Everyone was just like,
736
00:28:18,686 --> 00:28:19,853
"Oh, look how shit
Hubble's pictures are."
737
00:28:19,953 --> 00:28:21,088
(laughter)
738
00:28:21,188 --> 00:28:22,690
Wh-What happens to Hubble now?
739
00:28:22,790 --> 00:28:25,025
So Hubble has been operating
more than 30 years.
740
00:28:25,192 --> 00:28:28,062
-Yeah. -Um, and again it was
state-of-the-art.
741
00:28:28,195 --> 00:28:29,730
-It is going to continue
operating. -Okay, okay.
742
00:28:29,830 --> 00:28:33,500
So, there are still things, uh,
we benefit from Hubble.
743
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:35,102
Uh, so we're still
looking forward
744
00:28:35,202 --> 00:28:36,437
to a long-time operation
for that.
745
00:28:36,537 --> 00:28:37,771
Is there something Hubble can do
746
00:28:37,871 --> 00:28:40,441
that the Webb telescope
can't do?
747
00:28:40,541 --> 00:28:42,209
Uh, not at the level
we're talking about.
748
00:28:42,242 --> 00:28:44,945
-Okay. -Not at all, and just,
uh-- I don't know-- two
749
00:28:45,045 --> 00:28:46,714
-or three month... -So you're
just being nice to Hubble?
750
00:28:46,814 --> 00:28:52,086
Well, two or three months ago,
uh, Hubble discovered a star
751
00:28:52,219 --> 00:28:55,356
that was 900 million years
after the big bang.
752
00:28:55,456 --> 00:28:57,358
So wrap that around your head.
753
00:28:57,458 --> 00:29:00,928
900 million years
after big bang.
754
00:29:01,028 --> 00:29:03,497
Now, in space,
that's still a long time,
755
00:29:03,597 --> 00:29:04,965
but when
you're talking billions,
756
00:29:05,065 --> 00:29:07,167
that's looking back quite a bit.
757
00:29:07,201 --> 00:29:09,169
That is really fascinating.
758
00:29:09,203 --> 00:29:10,471
I mean, I just love the idea
759
00:29:10,571 --> 00:29:12,172
that, you know,
you're part of this mission,
760
00:29:12,206 --> 00:29:13,474
you get this telescope.
761
00:29:13,574 --> 00:29:15,376
You know, you have
to shoot it up into space,
762
00:29:15,476 --> 00:29:17,277
and then,
you start taking the pictures.
763
00:29:17,378 --> 00:29:20,881
Whose job is it to stitch the
pictures together and to get...?
764
00:29:20,981 --> 00:29:22,282
To unblur the pictures?
765
00:29:22,383 --> 00:29:23,884
Because when you take
the picture, it's...
766
00:29:23,984 --> 00:29:25,285
I've heard it basically
looks like nothing.
767
00:29:25,386 --> 00:29:26,887
That's what I've been told.
It just...
768
00:29:26,987 --> 00:29:28,989
It just looks like somebody has
shown you a picture of night.
769
00:29:29,089 --> 00:29:30,457
And then, somebody sits there,
and they go like,
770
00:29:30,557 --> 00:29:32,026
-"Oh, now, I see something."
-Well...
771
00:29:32,192 --> 00:29:33,927
Like, who's doing that
and how do you do it?
772
00:29:34,028 --> 00:29:35,429
-So... So, they... -And how do
you know that you actually are
773
00:29:35,529 --> 00:29:36,864
seeing a thing
where it's like...?
774
00:29:36,964 --> 00:29:38,532
So the scientists actually...
775
00:29:38,632 --> 00:29:40,267
-They know
what they're looking at. -Okay.
776
00:29:40,367 --> 00:29:43,937
Um, and so they do some,
what we call "processing,"
777
00:29:44,038 --> 00:29:47,808
to make the pictures look more
presentable to-to human eye.
778
00:29:47,908 --> 00:29:49,209
-Right. To idiots.
You can say it. -Uh...
779
00:29:49,309 --> 00:29:51,245
-I understand. You can...
I know. -Yeah. -(laughter)
780
00:29:51,345 --> 00:29:53,881
I'm one of those humans, too,
I think, thank God.
781
00:29:53,981 --> 00:29:56,884
-No. We... No.
-So the scientists process it.
782
00:29:56,984 --> 00:29:58,252
-They use the science
instruments. -Okay.
783
00:29:58,352 --> 00:29:59,753
And then have
some post processing
784
00:29:59,853 --> 00:30:01,989
beyond the instruments
to make it look like
785
00:30:02,089 --> 00:30:03,924
what we've seen recently.
786
00:30:04,024 --> 00:30:05,659
But they actually know
what they are looking at
787
00:30:05,759 --> 00:30:07,227
when they receive the data,
so they just...
788
00:30:07,328 --> 00:30:08,562
-Ah. Okay. So they get it.
We just... -Yeah. Yes.
789
00:30:08,662 --> 00:30:10,998
-They make it simpler for us.
-Uh, absolutely.
790
00:30:11,165 --> 00:30:13,434
So I would love to know where
your journey goes from here.
791
00:30:13,534 --> 00:30:15,436
I mean, you've been part of NASA
for such a long time.
792
00:30:15,536 --> 00:30:18,639
You've been part of the
biggest, you know, discovery
793
00:30:18,739 --> 00:30:21,308
or invention
that humans have ever created.
794
00:30:21,408 --> 00:30:23,577
Where to from here? You retire,
and then what do you do?
795
00:30:23,677 --> 00:30:27,348
So, sure, the Webb is done
from a development standpoint,
796
00:30:27,448 --> 00:30:30,217
so now it is the scientists' job
for the next 20 plus years.
797
00:30:30,317 --> 00:30:31,485
-Mm-hmm.
-I know they will do well.
798
00:30:31,585 --> 00:30:34,822
So it's, um...
It's just that time for me.
799
00:30:34,922 --> 00:30:36,623
I'm not running
from or to anything.
800
00:30:36,724 --> 00:30:39,059
It's just time, um, but after...
801
00:30:39,193 --> 00:30:41,528
As I often say, "Don't let
the good looks fool you."
802
00:30:41,628 --> 00:30:45,065
-I'm still a young man,
uh, but, I'm... -(laughter)
803
00:30:45,199 --> 00:30:47,101
-(applause and cheering)
-But I'm getting up there.
804
00:30:47,201 --> 00:30:50,204
So... so I still plan
to do some other things.
805
00:30:50,270 --> 00:30:53,240
-Okay. -Still exploring what
I'm going to do when I grow up.
806
00:30:53,340 --> 00:30:54,675
-I'm looking forward to it.
-I love this.
807
00:30:54,775 --> 00:30:56,677
-Thank you so much for being
on the show. -Thank you.
808
00:30:56,777 --> 00:30:58,212
-Thank you. Yeah.
-Thank you for explaining it.
809
00:30:58,278 --> 00:30:59,513
Thank you for helping create it.
810
00:30:59,613 --> 00:31:00,848
He's saying it's up to the team.
811
00:31:00,948 --> 00:31:02,216
-Thank you.
-We're gonna take a quick break,
812
00:31:02,316 --> 00:31:04,284
but we'll be right back
after this.
813
00:31:04,385 --> 00:31:06,053
Thank you so much.
814
00:31:06,153 --> 00:31:08,188
(applause and cheering)
815
00:31:10,995 --> 00:31:13,030
(applause and cheering)
816
00:31:13,130 --> 00:31:17,034
Well, that's our show
for tonight, but before we go,
817
00:31:17,134 --> 00:31:18,970
please consider supporting KEEN,
818
00:31:19,070 --> 00:31:22,173
an organization providing free
fitness and recreation programs
819
00:31:22,273 --> 00:31:23,808
for youth with disabilities.
820
00:31:23,908 --> 00:31:25,610
If you want to help them offer
equal opportunities
821
00:31:25,710 --> 00:31:27,311
for recreation,
fitness and friendship,
822
00:31:27,411 --> 00:31:29,146
then please donate
at the link below.
823
00:31:29,247 --> 00:31:31,482
Until next time, stay safe
out there and remember.
824
00:31:31,582 --> 00:31:34,585
If your boss ever complains that
you're not doing enough work,
825
00:31:34,685 --> 00:31:37,588
you just tell them,
"Shrinkflation's a bitch, baby."
826
00:31:37,688 --> 00:31:40,725
Now here it is--
Your Moment of Zen.
827
00:31:40,825 --> 00:31:42,527
♪ ♪
828
00:31:42,627 --> 00:31:44,929
It is very steamy out here
on the weather deck.
829
00:31:45,029 --> 00:31:47,198
I pushed through the weather
deck doors to get outside,
830
00:31:47,298 --> 00:31:49,133
and immediately, went, "Blah!"
831
00:31:49,233 --> 00:31:50,968
'Cause that's just how
it feels out here.
832
00:31:51,068 --> 00:31:52,370
It feels like pea soup.
833
00:31:52,470 --> 00:31:55,206
It's so hot out here,
my phone shut down.
834
00:31:55,306 --> 00:31:57,808
On a day like today,
everybody wears sweatpants.
835
00:31:57,909 --> 00:32:00,545
Because all pants...
You'd be sweating
836
00:32:00,645 --> 00:32:02,046
-in any kind of pant you wear.
-Oh. Oh, I get it.
837
00:32:02,146 --> 00:32:04,215
-Oh, my God, it's so hot.
-I mean, my hair.
838
00:32:04,315 --> 00:32:06,050
-It's ruining my hair.
-Ew.
839
00:32:06,150 --> 00:32:07,919
-When's it going to break, Al?
-Oh, it's so...
840
00:32:08,019 --> 00:32:10,087
-(laughs) -When's the weather
gonna break, Al?