♪ ♪
ANNOUNCER: Coming to you from New York City,
the only city in America,
it's The Daily Show!
Tonight,
shrinkage is real,
pineapples are hiding something,
and Gregory Robinson.
This is The Daily Show with Trevor Noah!
-♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause)
What's going on, everybody?
Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Trevor Noah.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
Thank you for coming out in person.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.
Take a seat. Let's do this, people.
Let's do this. You guys feel great.
All right, we've got a wonderful show for you tonight.
Dallas has solved school shootings.
We discover the truth behind fruit.
And inflation now has an evil twin.
So, let's do this, people.
Let's jump straight into today's headlines.
-♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause)
Oh, wow. Oh, thank you, thank you.
All right, all right, let's do this.
Let's, uh...
let's kick things off with inflation.
Surprise.
It's the reason parents are also throwing tantrums
in grocery stores right now.
For the past year or so, the price of everything we buy
has been skyrocketing. Right?
Because as companies face higher costs
to make their products,
they have to pass those costs on to the consumers.
And I know what you're thinking right now.
You're like, "Trevor, can't they keep their prices the same
and make a slightly smaller profit?"
(laughing): Come on.
(chuckles) You're adorable.
Less profit. (laughs)
But it turns out some companies are not raising their prices.
And it's not because they're angels--
it's because they found a much sneakier way
to make the same profit as before.
From the rising cost of inflation
to the growing trend of shrinkflation.
NEWSMAN: The next time you're shopping, check closely.
This Life cereal box recently got taller,
but it lost two and a half ounces.
That's almost a bowl and a half of cereal.
Experts call it shrinkflation.
It's a very sneaky way to pass on a price increase.
They know consumers will notice a direct price increase
but they won't notice if the product
gets a little bit smaller.
We found some products. You see this Charmin here?
If you look really, really closely,
you'll see, uh, the size of the rolls went from 396,
396 sheets, to 366 sheets.
You wouldn't know it. It says "Super Mega" on top.
And here's my favorite, Gatorade.
It kind of grew a waistline here.
It used to be 32 ounces. Now it's 28 ounces.
But it is the same height. You can see it there.
Yeah, she's right. That Gatorade bottle's looking good.
(laughter, applause)
You're like, "Damn.
"What you been doing, Gatorade?
You stop drinking Gatorade?"
But, yes, from soda to cereal
and even toilet paper,
companies are secretly shrinking the size of their products.
But you pay the same.
And you've probably noticed this, right?
Back in the day, you bought a big bag of chips.
Everyone ate.
These days, you open the bag
and there's just one chip holding the sides
to make it look big.
And the worst part about shrinkflation is that,
if you complain about it, you sound crazy.
Right? If you're like, "Guys,
"I think these Double Stuf Ore-- s-- Oreos
are actually 1.7-times stuffed,"
people are just gonna be like, "All right, buddy.
"Why don't you put on this jacket
"and get in this white van. We got you.
We're gonna find the rest of the Oreos."
The toilet paper one is probably the worst.
Yeah. 'Cause I'm sure, like-like me,
many of you, you know how many sheets are in a roll.
Yeah, I do it automatically when I'm sitting there.
I'll be like, "394, 395..."
And then it's just like, "Aah!"
If fact, you know what, there should be a law.
If companies are gonna shrink their products,
they should at least have to tell us they're doing it.
-(assenting, cheering) -Yeah. 'Cause, right now,
-right now, they're being slick. -(applause)
They're acting like drug dealers cutting their product
to stretch their supply.
Now we got to try to catch them out.
"Wait a minute, this yogurt is mostly bird poop.
"You trying to get killed, Trader Joe?!
You trying to get killed?!"
But let's move on from America's current problem
to America's eternal problem, gun violence.
This week, Texas released its report
on how the Uvalde Police Department
handled the school shooting that happened there,
and the report concluded that the cops--
and I'm quoting here-- "sucked ass."
But the report added
that, even if the police response had been flawless,
it wouldn't have saved most of the kids,
because someone armed with an AR-15-style rifle
can just do too much damage too fast.
So, the solution
to try and stop the next shooting is obvious.
And, no,
don't say it's banning the AR-15s.
That's racist.
The Constitution is very clear
about who has rights in this country.
It goes: corporations,
guns,
children,
then guns again,
then the national anthem,
then women
but only women who are holding a gun.
That's pretty much it.
But, apparently, apparently, if you're open-minded,
there are lots of ways to stop school shootings
without getting rid of guns.
In fact, check out what this one school district in Texas
is getting up to.
NEWSMAN: Here in North Texas,
the Dallas ISD is trying something new
to keep students safe.
It is requiring clear or mesh backpacks
for students in sixth through 12th grades.
NEWSMAN 2: Students will be able to carry a small pouch
inside the bag that isn't clear
to hold cell phones, money, and hygiene products.
NEWSWOMAN: Clear backpacks-- are they effective
in keeping weapons out of schools?
Experts say crime does not necessarily go down
because of them.
Well-intended but relatively ineffective.
You can still hide a weapon inside of a clear backpack,
inside of a book, a cutout in a book, inside of clothing.
NEWSWOMAN: This video shows how easy it is to hide weapons,
regardless of having a clear backpack or not.
Goddamn!
How many guns did that guy have in his pants?
Did you see that?
'Cause, like, it started out scary
and then at some point it was just like a magic trick.
It was just like, "Oh, and this one and this one and this one."
And this, behind the ear, an AR-15!
But, for real, what are we doing here, people?
I'm constantly amazed at how America is willing
to get rid of everything except guns.
Everything will be considered.
"All right, let's get rid of normal backpacks.
"Everything is see-through now.
"Also, you know what? No more clothes for these kids.
"Yeah, yeah, they could be hiding the guns anywhere.
"In fact, now that I think about it,
"just get rid of all the kids in school.
"That way the guns can finally go there in peace.
I think we solved it."
And you know who's really going to be negatively affected
by these clear backpacks--
it's all those jocks who are secretly smart, yeah.
'Cause now they're going to be exposed.
It's gonna be like, "Wait a minute, Chad,
like, are you carrying around Shakespeare in your backpack?"
"No, dude, dude, it's just to cover my boners, man, I swear.
Dost thou not believeth me?"
But clearly those things are not going to stop shootings.
There's only one thing that is gonna stop shootings,
and we all know what it is.
Just cut to the chase and arrest all the weird kids.
Yeah, it's not fair and it's definitely not legal.
It's not a good idea.
But it is a good idea.
All right, finally,
let's talk about the United States Secret Service.
The people who wore one tiny earphone
before AirPods were cool.
Recently the Secret Service has been all over the news
because the January 6 committee wants to know
what information they have about President Trump's actions
on the day his fans went tailgating
in Nancy Pelosi's office,
so the committee told the Secret Service,
"Give us all the text messages
that you guys were sending that day,"
but the Secret Service said this.
The Secret Service says it cannot recover
the deleted text messages
from January 5th and 6th of last year.
The Washington Post is reporting the agency
has no new texts to provide to Congress
and that any other messages exchanged between agents
around the time of the attack were purged.
NEWSWOMAN: The Secret Service claims these messages
were erased as part of a device replacement program,
adding, "Any insinuation that the Secret Service maliciously
deleted text messages following a request is false."
NEWSWOMAN 2: Those Secret Service texts
are gone, gone, gone.
Gone, like really not ever to be recovered.
Wow.
This is so sad.
The Secret Service lost all the texts from January 6th
because they were doing a "device replacement program."
What a perfect-- I mean terrible thing, oh.
Why-why do I feel like this is the same kind
of "device replacement program" you do
when your partner asks you to explain
where you were the other night.
"Yeah, I was, I was due for an upgrade
"because of what, uh, what, uh, me and Keisha were up to,
so I had to, yeah, Apple called me, and yeah."
And you know it's interesting how they're saying,
"Once you delete a text, there's no way to retrieve it."
Yeah, once they delete a text, it's gone.
'Cause best believe, if any of us "lost a text,"
the Secret Service would find it, yeah.
They would find the shit out of it.
You'd be like, "Oh, I, I deleted it."
They'd be like, "Give me that phone."
They'd be like, "Ha, so this is
what you were doing with Keisha."
"Ah, shit."
And, look, I know many people are angry, saying, like,
"I can't believe the Secret Service
isn't handing over these texts."
Well, but I don't know, maybe it's because I'm South African.
I just assumed this would happen.
Yeah, it's the Secret Service.
That's their job, right? To keep secrets.
In fact, if they give you the texts, you should fire them.
Snitch.
The real question we should be asking is,
why are they even texting?
Imagine this-- the Capitol was being overrun
by a mob of Facebook comments come to life,
people are trying to hang the vice president,
and the Secret Service is texting?
Guys, what is this thing for?
(muttering)
What?
(muttering)
You're telling me all that shit was happening
and someone's using text?
They're just like, "Hey, guys, just wanted to warn you,
"the vice president is in Asia.
"Oh, sorry, autocorrect.
"I meant danger.
"The vice president is in danger.
Send back-- Never mind, the problem solved itself."
And I know a lot of people think
that this was a huge conspiracy, I do, you know.
People say that this is proof
that the Secret Service was in on the Capitol plot,
but it could also be a much simpler answer.
You know, maybe they just don't want people to see the texts
that they were sending about their boss, yeah.
Like, I-I know I wouldn't want that.
Can you imagining being at the congressional hearing,
and Liz Cheney is like, "So Agent Johnson,
"what did you mean when you texted
President poop emoji is baby crying emoji in car emoji?"
-He's like, "Uh, I'd rather go to jail, ma'am." -(applause)
All right, that's it for the headlines, but before we go,
let's check in on traffic
with our very own Roy wood, Jr., everybody!
(applause and cheering)
Yes.
What's going on, Roy? How you doing?
What up, man?
So, what's, uh... what's happening in the traffic?
(laughter)
What do you want to know?
-I don't know why we always... -What do you want to know
-about traffic? -Why do we always have to fight about this?
Roy, I want to know what the traffic is, okay?
-Oh, you want to know the traffic? -Yeah.
Okay, all right, all right, all right.
-That is a car. -(laughter)
When there is a group of them,
it is called a traffic.
So that is group of traffics
all moving around. I mean, honestly, like, like,
what we really need to be talking about is
how the price of gas went down, and that's why traffic went up.
'Cause everybody outside driving again.
-It's terrible. This is terrible. -What? No, no. Wait.
Gas going down is terrible.
No, you can't say it's terrible.
You were the one standing here saying
you want the price of gas to go down. That's what you said.
-When did I say that? -(laughter)
No, you said that on the show.
On this... I... On this show? I said it on this show?
Which other show, Roy? You said it on this show.
You can't prove that. We ain't got no tapes.
Look, what we need to be talking about...
What we need to be talking about is this shrinkflation, 'cause
-that's a serious issue-- that shrinkflation. -It really is.
I experience shrinkflation all the time.
I'll be in the drive-through. I'll be in the drive-through.
-And you see that big burger on the picture. -Yeah.
They show you a big perfect burger,
and you go around to pick up your burger,
-and that burger has shrinked. -I don't think that...
-That's shrinkflation. -I don't think
-that's shrinkflation. -There's all types of shrinkflation.
I don't think that's the same thing.
And that's just one of the many forms.
That's different, but yeah.
Like, 'cause it's not just the products that y'all was...
that you was talking about just now.
It's a lot of different things.
-Let me ask you a serious question. -Yeah.
Have you noticed that you've been getting less condom?
(laughter)
I'm...
And on a three-pack. You buy a three pack.
-Have you noticed... less condom? -So, wait, wait.
So you're... you're saying there's...
Are you saying have I noticed that there are fewer condoms
-in the pack? -WOMAN: No. No. -(laughter)
Don't-don't... There's people here.
Don't make me explain this.
Less... Like...
All right, you know, like, when you got, like, a fitted hat,
at first, it come down to here,
and then, it just be sitting up there.
-(laughter, applause) -Like, out of nowhere,
you don't have as much fitted hat.
The fitted hat be up here. Like, where's the rest of the...?
(laughter)
Do you even use contraception? Do you even understand?
(laughter, applause)
-That's on the roll. -Roy, let's-let's...
Can we talk about the traffic?
Look, here's the other thing about shrinkflation.
We don't need to just focus on what's happening now.
We got to go back to the source of shrinkflation.
The first group of people that started shrinkflation.
We got to shut them down,
and then that's how you stop all the shrinkflation.
-Well, who started it? -The shrinkflation ain't new.
That's been going... You know who did it first?
-The Girl Scouts. -(laughter)
-The Girl Scouts did it first. -(applause and cheering)
Don't you trust them little berets. Them Girl Scout...
When you used to buy Girl Scout cookies, the cookie...
the Girl Scout cookie boxes would be this long back in '84.
Now, every year, shorter and shorter and shorter,
the cookies are thinner, and thinner and thinner.
(applause)
And that's not right, man. That's not right.
Then to add insult to injury...
At least with these corporations now--
oh, you made the box of cereal smaller,
but at least they leave the regular logo and the regular,
like, picture of the cereal on the box.
You know what the Girl Scouts do?
You know what these little... little evil berets do?
Not only do the Girls Scouts shrinkflate the box.
No. Then they charge you more money for less product.
Then they put a picture on the box
-of them having a good time with your money. -(laughter)
-(applause and cheering) -How disrespectful is that.
All right, you want to talk about the traffic now?
No, I feel like we ran out of time once again, Roy.
No, we can talk about it. I got time now.
No, no, no, we're good. We got this.
-We can talk about it. -This always happens,
and then we... You know? It's fine.
That's my bad. That's my bad.
-Next time? -Next time.
Next time, I got you on traffic, for real.
-Oh, I'll believe it when I see it. -I'm for real. I got you.
I feel like you promise me this much traffic,
-and then it shrinks down. -(laughter)
-(applause and cheering) -What did you just say?
Thank you so much, Roy Wood, Jr. All right,
we're going to take a quick break, before we go,
don't eat that apple.
We'll tell you why after we come back.
(applause and cheering)
(cheering and applause)
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
If you've spent any time online at all,
you know that there are conspiracy theories
about everything.
The war in Ukraine is scripted.
The FBI did January 6.
The Illuminati is real,
but Beyoncé isn't in it.
But those are just the obvious ones,
which is why we have a special segment
that reveals the conspiracies you never even knew about.
KOSTA: Conspiracies. They're everywhere.
Or are they nowhere?
Or is that exactly what they want you to think?
So that's where my wallet is.
Well, for every they...
...there's a me.
I'm Kevin Matthew Kelp.
Follow me as I pull back the curtain
to find the truth behind...
the curtain.
This is Project: Conspiracy.
♪ ♪
(panting)
A lot of the most well-known conspiracies
are about what goes into our bodies--
fluoride, microchips,
spiders the Chinese sent to crawl into our mouths
while we sleep.
But there might be one government spyware
that we've all been overlooking.
That's right.
Fruit.
Let's go.
Look, every single piece of fruit has a sticker on it.
Apples.
Pears.
Whatever these are.
Even the pineapples.
Ow! Godda--
These fruit-- Ow.
(bleep)
(exhales)
These fruit stickers were everywhere,
but they weren't the fun kind that say things
like "Grape job!" or "I love you berry much."
Instead, they were filled with mysterious numerical codes.
(whispers): Granny Smith.
How do they know my grandmother's last name?
♪ ♪
I tried everything I could to crack this conspiracy.
I listed every number I could think of.
-Even seven. -(sighs)
But it was no use.
The codes were unbreakable.
If I was ever going to blow this conspiracy wide open,
I'd have to go undercover.
I love fruit.
Just love buying fruit.
Just an ordinary guy buying lots of fruit.
Yeah, you're probably wondering why I'm buying so much fruit.
It's 'cause I'm having a fruit party later.
-Okay. -Unfortunately you can't come, so...
-Okay. -Yeah. Hey, I did notice that, on all the fruit,
they have these stickers.
You don't know what that's about, do you?
Um, I guess so they can track the fruit or something?
Oh, my God, she admitted it. Run.
-Oh, my God. -Who are you talking to? Hey, you forgot
-the fruit for your fruit party! -Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God. (pants)
Okay, so thanks to my espionage skills,
we've established that the codes are used for tracking.
But now it's time to find out
who's doing the tracking.
-Does anybody know where these little... -After my usual
investigative techniques turned up nothing...
Does anybody know where these little stickers come from?!
...I was able to find some answers
by hacking the deep state.
♪ ♪
Meet the IFPS,
A.K.A. the International Federation
for Produce Standards,
A.K.A. a secret global cabal
because I've never heard of it before.
And guess what--
they're in cahoots with...
the FDA,
A.K.A. the government.
The FDA regulates the adhesives on these stickers,
and they just so happen to be the same shadow organization
that recommends you eat
three to four servings of fruit every day,
an amount of fruit so ridiculous
that anyone who's tried to do it has probably consumed
two to three stickers without even realizing it.
Are these stickers tracking the fruit?
Or maybe they're tracking...
you.
So is the government really trying to trick us
into eating stickers--
something every teacher from kindergarten
through college told me not to do?
There's only one way to find out.
Let's see if my stomach can handle the truth.
Should have gone with the apple.
It was immediately clear that eating the sticker
turned me into a walking GPS for the government.
(whimpering)
-(whistling) -Everywhere I went,
I was being followed by Big Brother.
The police watched my every move.
Secret agents pretended to read newspapers.
Hey. What? Hey!
Hey, not so sneaky with your special spy gadget now, are you?
The evidence couldn't be clearer.
The FDA is tracking us through fruit stickers.
More like The Food and... Deceit Administration.
That's actually pretty good. I should write that down.
God, where do you come up with this stuff, Kevin?
Aah! Aah!
Now that I've uncovered the truth,
I can't be a part of this corrupt sticker system anymore.
And luckily, I don't need the FDA and their spy fruit
because some of the best fruit actually is regulated
by Mother Nature. Oh, yeah. (chuckles)
Mmm. Mmm.
Tastes like freedom. Yeah.
It's a little funky, okay?
It burns a lot.
(coughing)
♪ ♪
-(cheers and applause) -Rest in peace, Kevin.
All right, stay tuned because when we come back,
the director of the world's biggest telescope will tell me
what he's found in outer space, so don't go away.
(applause and cheering)
(cheering and applause)
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
My guest tonight is a longtime NASA employee
who oversaw the program that launched the largest
and most powerful satellite into space.
For the first time ever,
thanks to the James Webb Space Telescope,
we're seeing deeper into the universe than ever before.
So please welcome Gregory Robinson.
-♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause)
Welcome.
Thank you.
Mr. Robinson, welcome to The Daily Show.
-Hey, I'm glad to be here. It's really an honor. -I'm so excited
to have you here, because this is one of the biggest stories.
You know? Everyone saw it on social media.
There was a picture of, like, what seemed like the universe,
everything, and then it was like,
"Here's the old one. Here's the new one,"
and then we all had to act like we knew
-why that was important. -(laughing)
But you're actually the person behind why it happened
and how it-- how it got together.
So let's start with this.
For everybody-everybody to be on the same page--
-mostly me-- um... -(chuckles)
...why is this jump in telescope technology so impressive
and why is it so important?
So, when we compare, we're comparing to Hubble,
-which was, uh, state-of-the-art 30 years ago. -Mm-hmm.
And Webb gives us a much bigger mirror.
It's 6.5 meters versus 2.4, uh, for Hubble.
And the infrared technology,
if you think about-- look at, like, night vision...
-Yeah. -...you can see heat, uh, uh, through something.
Uh, so it gives us infrared capabilities
so we can look through the-the dust and clouds
and gook of space
and look much further back.
Uh, of course, our science instruments
are a lot more complex, too,
so the clarity is a lot better
and the depth is a lot better.
What-what I know, um, is really confusing sometimes
when talking about anything in space
is that sometimes they say things in terms of time
and sometimes they say things in terms of distance.
And it gets a little-- You know, they'll be like,
"We're seeing something from 13 billion years ago."
I'm like... (stammers) "I'm sorry, what?"
-(laughing) -'Kay, wh-what d-- what does that even mean?
Well, sometimes I say "What?" as well.
-(laughs) -So... (chuckles)
S-So, we're-we're looking at-at light traveling
186,000 miles per second,
-if you can imagine that. -Okay.
So we're looking at light, something that happened
billions of years ago, and it's just reaching us now.
So it's-it's time, distance, travel of light.
And that's actually what we're looking at.
And so we can see what happened a really long time ago
somewhere else out there.
What do we use this information for?
Like, will it tell us that aliens, like, left a long time,
and now they're already here?
Does it, does it tell us where we're going to go
after we destroy Earth?
What is it telling us?
Well, you know, in astrophysics and astronomy
we're always looking to answer questions.
Uh, where do we come from?
How do we fit into this universe?
Are we alone?
Which is another one, uh, we-we're looking for.
So it helps inform us on how we fit into the universe.
And-and as far as light travel,
I remember growing up in the country
and shining a flashlight up in the sky and saying,
"I wonder how long it's taking that to get to certain points."
-Oh, wow. -And which is the same kind of thing as light travel,
which is what you're looking for.
It's interesting you say that, growing up in the country,
because I-I've read your story,
and you have one of the most fascinating journeys
I've ever come across.
Because you grew up,
your parents were sharecroppers in rural Virginia,
all right, you went to a segregated school,
you didn't have the education that you wanted to,
and then here you are, the man who was brought in
to basically get this $10 billion telescope
up and running.
It was failing before you stepped in.
They called you and they're like,
"We need you to do this," and you did it.
-How-- like, how...? -(cheering and applause)
Where does that love come from,
and how did you get into this role?
So, uh, a couple things.
One is, um, that education in the segregated school
-was-was excellent. -Wow.
We had some of the best teachers in the world.
Uh, many of them were far more educated
than the teachers in other schools
because they couldn't get jobs in the industry
like they can today, so we had great teachers
who really nurtured us and cared about us.
Uh, so my beginnings were-were very strong.
And so, of course, I-I lived through the Apollo time--
I was a little kid then-- which excited me,
but that still didn't get my interest in space.
So, I was in college,
and-and friends of mine actually did internships at NASA
and they made it sound, sound so interesting,
and a few years later I started my career in the industry,
but a few years later I actually joined NASA.
And, uh, four and a half years ago,
um, uh, there were some issues.
Um, my boss asked me to, to, uh, try
to get it over the goal line.
Now, I will say a lot of the work was already done,
-already completed. -Yeah, yeah.
So, uh, thanks to the team for that.
And this team is an incredibly, incredibly smart team of people,
if you can imagine, at NASA.
So, smarts is never a shortage at NASA
and certainly not for this team.
And this team is not just NASA, it's our whole industrial base,
uh, plus the European Space Agency
and the Canadian Space Agency-- two of our-our big partners.
Let me ask you a question.
And I-I believe that you-you're retiring soon, correct?
Uh, yes, I'm retiring soon.
-Life comes at me fast. -Wow.
-So, so, uh... -That-that's sad.
'Cause, I mean, you've been around for so long.
You've been... you've been doing such a great job.
-So, uh... -I know NASA's going to miss you.
But-but because you are retiring,
I feel like you could, you could probably tell me
a few things you wouldn't be allowed to...
Like, you know, when you're leaving.
Like, so, have you taken any pictures
and then seen something that, like they don't tell us about?
-Like, you know... -(laughter)
-(chuckling) -Like, let me put it this way.
In New York, if you have, like, a superpowered telescope
and you shine it in another person's apartment,
-you might see some things. -(laughter)
And I'm wondering if you've seen some things out there
but then you don't tell us.
Or are these all the pictures?
You can just wink if I'm close.
-You can... -(laughter)
Well, I think your-your telescope in New York example,
you probably see something you've already seen before.
-(laughter) -(applause)
Uh, I think in our case,
uh, we will certainly see things we haven't seen before
but a lot clearer.
And we will, we will learn things
that we could never even imagine so as we answer questions
we also will create new questions for the future.
What are we using the answers to these questions to do?
You know? I-I understand there is some importance to it
but how does it help what happens on Earth
or what are people hoping we'll learn
from these telescopes and what they are revealing?
Well, one, we'd learn a lot about physics.
And if you think about it,
uh, if you go back many, many years,
uh, and you think of the physics textbooks.
Um, we have information today that wasn't there then
and-and if you think about,
-ah, geez, just a hundred years ago... -Mm-hmm.
...we thought that was just one galaxy
in the whole universe. Ours.
And, uh, Hubble--
uh, Hubble telescope is named after him--
discovered more galaxies.
So we know a lot more about who we are,
where we are, where we come from.
And so that's on an astrophysics side,
but other science missions tell us a lot about the Earth,
how interaction with the sun, how that impacts,
so the Earth has a system within our own solar system.
I see.
So, now that you have the James Webb telescope,
I mean, Hubble was, until a few months ago,
you know, was everybody's bae in space.
-You know, and then... -(laughter)
I-I just felt a little, you know...
I felt a little sad on-on Hubble's behalf.
Everyone was just like,
"Oh, look how shit Hubble's pictures are."
(laughter)
Wh-What happens to Hubble now?
So Hubble has been operating more than 30 years.
-Yeah. -Um, and again it was state-of-the-art.
-It is going to continue operating. -Okay, okay.
So, there are still things, uh, we benefit from Hubble.
Uh, so we're still looking forward
to a long-time operation for that.
Is there something Hubble can do
that the Webb telescope can't do?
Uh, not at the level we're talking about.
-Okay. -Not at all, and just, uh-- I don't know-- two
-or three month... -So you're just being nice to Hubble?
Well, two or three months ago, uh, Hubble discovered a star
that was 900 million years after the big bang.
So wrap that around your head.
900 million years after big bang.
Now, in space, that's still a long time,
but when you're talking billions,
that's looking back quite a bit.
That is really fascinating.
I mean, I just love the idea
that, you know, you're part of this mission,
you get this telescope.
You know, you have to shoot it up into space,
and then, you start taking the pictures.
Whose job is it to stitch the pictures together and to get...?
To unblur the pictures?
Because when you take the picture, it's...
I've heard it basically looks like nothing.
That's what I've been told. It just...
It just looks like somebody has shown you a picture of night.
And then, somebody sits there, and they go like,
-"Oh, now, I see something." -Well...
Like, who's doing that and how do you do it?
-So... So, they... -And how do you know that you actually are
seeing a thing where it's like...?
So the scientists actually...
-They know what they're looking at. -Okay.
Um, and so they do some, what we call "processing,"
to make the pictures look more presentable to-to human eye.
-Right. To idiots. You can say it. -Uh...
-I understand. You can... I know. -Yeah. -(laughter)
I'm one of those humans, too, I think, thank God.
-No. We... No. -So the scientists process it.
-They use the science instruments. -Okay.
And then have some post processing
beyond the instruments to make it look like
what we've seen recently.
But they actually know what they are looking at
when they receive the data, so they just...
-Ah. Okay. So they get it. We just... -Yeah. Yes.
-They make it simpler for us. -Uh, absolutely.
So I would love to know where your journey goes from here.
I mean, you've been part of NASA for such a long time.
You've been part of the biggest, you know, discovery
or invention that humans have ever created.
Where to from here? You retire, and then what do you do?
So, sure, the Webb is done from a development standpoint,
so now it is the scientists' job for the next 20 plus years.
-Mm-hmm. -I know they will do well.
So it's, um... It's just that time for me.
I'm not running from or to anything.
It's just time, um, but after...
As I often say, "Don't let the good looks fool you."
-I'm still a young man, uh, but, I'm... -(laughter)
-(applause and cheering) -But I'm getting up there.
So... so I still plan to do some other things.
-Okay. -Still exploring what I'm going to do when I grow up.
-I'm looking forward to it. -I love this.
-Thank you so much for being on the show. -Thank you.
-Thank you. Yeah. -Thank you for explaining it.
Thank you for helping create it.
He's saying it's up to the team.
-Thank you. -We're gonna take a quick break,
but we'll be right back after this.
Thank you so much.
(applause and cheering)
Well, that's our show for tonight, but before we go,
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you just tell them, "Shrinkflation's a bitch, baby."
Now here it is-- Your Moment of Zen.
♪ ♪
It is very steamy out here on the weather deck.
I pushed through the weather deck doors to get outside,
and immediately, went, "Blah!"
'Cause that's just how it feels out here.
It feels like pea soup.
It's so hot out here, my phone shut down.
On a day like today, everybody wears sweatpants.
Because all pants... You'd be sweating
-in any kind of pant you wear. -Oh. Oh, I get it.
-Oh, my God, it's so hot. -I mean, my hair.
-It's ruining my hair. -Ew.
-When's it going to break, Al? -Oh, it's so...
-(laughs) -When's the weather gonna break, Al?