1 00:00:00,968 --> 00:00:02,035 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:02,135 --> 00:00:03,637 ANNOUNCER: Coming to you from New York City, 3 00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:05,339 the only city in America, 4 00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:07,341 it's The Daily Show! 5 00:00:07,441 --> 00:00:08,809 Tonight, 6 00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:11,678 shrinkage is real, 7 00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:14,281 pineapples are hiding something, 8 00:00:14,381 --> 00:00:16,850 and Gregory Robinson. 9 00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:20,921 This is The Daily Show with Trevor Noah! 10 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,056 -♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause) 11 00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:36,003 What's going on, everybody? 12 00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:38,138 Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Trevor Noah. 13 00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:39,806 Thank you so much for tuning in. 14 00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:41,542 Thank you for coming out in person. 15 00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:43,477 Thank you. Thank you. 16 00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:45,812 Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. 17 00:00:45,913 --> 00:00:47,214 Take a seat. Let's do this, people. 18 00:00:47,314 --> 00:00:48,815 Let's do this. You guys feel great. 19 00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:51,418 All right, we've got a wonderful show for you tonight. 20 00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:53,854 Dallas has solved school shootings. 21 00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:55,889 We discover the truth behind fruit. 22 00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:59,026 And inflation now has an evil twin. 23 00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,260 So, let's do this, people. 24 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,462 Let's jump straight into today's headlines. 25 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,598 -♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause) 26 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,804 Oh, wow. Oh, thank you, thank you. 27 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,539 All right, all right, let's do this. 28 00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:14,741 Let's, uh... 29 00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:16,944 let's kick things off with inflation. 30 00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:18,278 Surprise. 31 00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:20,581 It's the reason parents are also throwing tantrums 32 00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:22,149 in grocery stores right now. 33 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,551 For the past year or so, the price of everything we buy 34 00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:26,353 has been skyrocketing. Right? 35 00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:28,422 Because as companies face higher costs 36 00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:29,957 to make their products, 37 00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:32,693 they have to pass those costs on to the consumers. 38 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,094 And I know what you're thinking right now. 39 00:01:34,194 --> 00:01:35,863 You're like, "Trevor, can't they keep their prices the same 40 00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:37,898 and make a slightly smaller profit?" 41 00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:39,633 (laughing): Come on. 42 00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,168 (chuckles) You're adorable. 43 00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:43,537 Less profit. (laughs) 44 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:46,573 But it turns out some companies are not raising their prices. 45 00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:47,908 And it's not because they're angels-- 46 00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:50,277 it's because they found a much sneakier way 47 00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:52,679 to make the same profit as before. 48 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,748 From the rising cost of inflation 49 00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:57,417 to the growing trend of shrinkflation. 50 00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:59,920 NEWSMAN: The next time you're shopping, check closely. 51 00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:02,322 This Life cereal box recently got taller, 52 00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:04,458 but it lost two and a half ounces. 53 00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:06,627 That's almost a bowl and a half of cereal. 54 00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,695 Experts call it shrinkflation. 55 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:11,899 It's a very sneaky way to pass on a price increase. 56 00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:16,036 They know consumers will notice a direct price increase 57 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,038 but they won't notice if the product 58 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,706 gets a little bit smaller. 59 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,942 We found some products. You see this Charmin here? 60 00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:23,410 If you look really, really closely, 61 00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:27,014 you'll see, uh, the size of the rolls went from 396, 62 00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:29,950 396 sheets, to 366 sheets. 63 00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:32,586 You wouldn't know it. It says "Super Mega" on top. 64 00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:34,288 And here's my favorite, Gatorade. 65 00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:36,190 It kind of grew a waistline here. 66 00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:39,760 It used to be 32 ounces. Now it's 28 ounces. 67 00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:42,896 But it is the same height. You can see it there. 68 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,766 Yeah, she's right. That Gatorade bottle's looking good. 69 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,634 (laughter, applause) 70 00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:49,303 You're like, "Damn. 71 00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:51,138 "What you been doing, Gatorade? 72 00:02:51,238 --> 00:02:53,140 You stop drinking Gatorade?" 73 00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:56,243 But, yes, from soda to cereal 74 00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:57,845 and even toilet paper, 75 00:02:57,945 --> 00:03:00,981 companies are secretly shrinking the size of their products. 76 00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,382 But you pay the same. 77 00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,051 And you've probably noticed this, right? 78 00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:06,186 Back in the day, you bought a big bag of chips. 79 00:03:06,286 --> 00:03:07,287 Everyone ate. 80 00:03:07,387 --> 00:03:09,189 These days, you open the bag 81 00:03:09,289 --> 00:03:10,724 and there's just one chip holding the sides 82 00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,192 to make it look big. 83 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,796 And the worst part about shrinkflation is that, 84 00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,965 if you complain about it, you sound crazy. 85 00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:19,299 Right? If you're like, "Guys, 86 00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:21,502 "I think these Double Stuf Ore-- s-- Oreos 87 00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:23,370 are actually 1.7-times stuffed," 88 00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:24,972 people are just gonna be like, "All right, buddy. 89 00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:26,139 "Why don't you put on this jacket 90 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:27,941 "and get in this white van. We got you. 91 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,943 We're gonna find the rest of the Oreos." 92 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,079 The toilet paper one is probably the worst. 93 00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:33,947 Yeah. 'Cause I'm sure, like-like me, 94 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:37,150 many of you, you know how many sheets are in a roll. 95 00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:38,819 Yeah, I do it automatically when I'm sitting there. 96 00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:41,188 I'll be like, "394, 395..." 97 00:03:41,288 --> 00:03:43,891 And then it's just like, "Aah!" 98 00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:45,392 If fact, you know what, there should be a law. 99 00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:47,728 If companies are gonna shrink their products, 100 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:50,230 they should at least have to tell us they're doing it. 101 00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:52,299 -(assenting, cheering) -Yeah. 'Cause, right now, 102 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:55,035 -right now, they're being slick. -(applause) 103 00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:56,937 They're acting like drug dealers cutting their product 104 00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:58,972 to stretch their supply. 105 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,374 Now we got to try to catch them out. 106 00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:02,476 "Wait a minute, this yogurt is mostly bird poop. 107 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,044 "You trying to get killed, Trader Joe?! 108 00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:05,546 You trying to get killed?!" 109 00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:08,482 But let's move on from America's current problem 110 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,951 to America's eternal problem, gun violence. 111 00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:12,786 This week, Texas released its report 112 00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:14,488 on how the Uvalde Police Department 113 00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,390 handled the school shooting that happened there, 114 00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,292 and the report concluded that the cops-- 115 00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:20,661 and I'm quoting here-- "sucked ass." 116 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,429 But the report added 117 00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:25,599 that, even if the police response had been flawless, 118 00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,868 it wouldn't have saved most of the kids, 119 00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:30,270 because someone armed with an AR-15-style rifle 120 00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:32,873 can just do too much damage too fast. 121 00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:34,942 So, the solution 122 00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:37,411 to try and stop the next shooting is obvious. 123 00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:38,679 And, no, 124 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,314 don't say it's banning the AR-15s. 125 00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:41,648 That's racist. 126 00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:43,784 The Constitution is very clear 127 00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:45,252 about who has rights in this country. 128 00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:46,854 It goes: corporations, 129 00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,355 guns, 130 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:49,690 children, 131 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,391 then guns again, 132 00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:52,659 then the national anthem, 133 00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:53,760 then women 134 00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,028 but only women who are holding a gun. 135 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,964 That's pretty much it. 136 00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:59,032 But, apparently, apparently, if you're open-minded, 137 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,435 there are lots of ways to stop school shootings 138 00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:02,736 without getting rid of guns. 139 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:05,739 In fact, check out what this one school district in Texas 140 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:07,140 is getting up to. 141 00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:08,275 NEWSMAN: Here in North Texas, 142 00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:10,711 the Dallas ISD is trying something new 143 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,179 to keep students safe. 144 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:15,516 It is requiring clear or mesh backpacks 145 00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:18,118 for students in sixth through 12th grades. 146 00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:20,587 NEWSMAN 2: Students will be able to carry a small pouch 147 00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:22,856 inside the bag that isn't clear 148 00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:26,260 to hold cell phones, money, and hygiene products. 149 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:27,561 NEWSWOMAN: Clear backpacks-- are they effective 150 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,563 in keeping weapons out of schools? 151 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:32,833 Experts say crime does not necessarily go down 152 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,134 because of them. 153 00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:36,503 Well-intended but relatively ineffective. 154 00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:39,673 You can still hide a weapon inside of a clear backpack, 155 00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:42,709 inside of a book, a cutout in a book, inside of clothing. 156 00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:46,647 NEWSWOMAN: This video shows how easy it is to hide weapons, 157 00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:49,650 regardless of having a clear backpack or not. 158 00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:52,553 Goddamn! 159 00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:54,054 How many guns did that guy have in his pants? 160 00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:55,289 Did you see that? 161 00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:56,757 'Cause, like, it started out scary 162 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,392 and then at some point it was just like a magic trick. 163 00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:00,427 It was just like, "Oh, and this one and this one and this one." 164 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:03,630 And this, behind the ear, an AR-15! 165 00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:05,332 But, for real, what are we doing here, people? 166 00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:07,034 I'm constantly amazed at how America is willing 167 00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:09,403 to get rid of everything except guns. 168 00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:11,071 Everything will be considered. 169 00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:13,006 "All right, let's get rid of normal backpacks. 170 00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:14,474 "Everything is see-through now. 171 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:16,777 "Also, you know what? No more clothes for these kids. 172 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,846 "Yeah, yeah, they could be hiding the guns anywhere. 173 00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:20,080 "In fact, now that I think about it, 174 00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,582 "just get rid of all the kids in school. 175 00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:24,451 "That way the guns can finally go there in peace. 176 00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,987 I think we solved it." 177 00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:28,956 And you know who's really going to be negatively affected 178 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:31,425 by these clear backpacks-- 179 00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:35,195 it's all those jocks who are secretly smart, yeah. 180 00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:36,463 'Cause now they're going to be exposed. 181 00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,632 It's gonna be like, "Wait a minute, Chad, 182 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:41,168 like, are you carrying around Shakespeare in your backpack?" 183 00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:44,438 "No, dude, dude, it's just to cover my boners, man, I swear. 184 00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:47,274 Dost thou not believeth me?" 185 00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:51,478 But clearly those things are not going to stop shootings. 186 00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:54,615 There's only one thing that is gonna stop shootings, 187 00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:56,583 and we all know what it is. 188 00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:59,786 Just cut to the chase and arrest all the weird kids. 189 00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:02,789 Yeah, it's not fair and it's definitely not legal. 190 00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:04,925 It's not a good idea. 191 00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:08,529 But it is a good idea. 192 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:09,930 All right, finally, 193 00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:12,799 let's talk about the United States Secret Service. 194 00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:14,501 The people who wore one tiny earphone 195 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:15,969 before AirPods were cool. 196 00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:18,372 Recently the Secret Service has been all over the news 197 00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:20,307 because the January 6 committee wants to know 198 00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:23,043 what information they have about President Trump's actions 199 00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,512 on the day his fans went tailgating 200 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:26,914 in Nancy Pelosi's office, 201 00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:29,149 so the committee told the Secret Service, 202 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,450 "Give us all the text messages 203 00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:32,352 that you guys were sending that day," 204 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,788 but the Secret Service said this. 205 00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:37,324 The Secret Service says it cannot recover 206 00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:39,026 the deleted text messages 207 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,995 from January 5th and 6th of last year. 208 00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:44,331 The Washington Post is reporting the agency 209 00:07:44,431 --> 00:07:46,900 has no new texts to provide to Congress 210 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,937 and that any other messages exchanged between agents 211 00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:52,339 around the time of the attack were purged. 212 00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:54,074 NEWSWOMAN: The Secret Service claims these messages 213 00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:56,743 were erased as part of a device replacement program, 214 00:07:56,844 --> 00:08:00,347 adding, "Any insinuation that the Secret Service maliciously 215 00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:04,318 deleted text messages following a request is false." 216 00:08:04,418 --> 00:08:05,752 NEWSWOMAN 2: Those Secret Service texts 217 00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:09,223 are gone, gone, gone. 218 00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:13,861 Gone, like really not ever to be recovered. 219 00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:16,196 Wow. 220 00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:17,598 This is so sad. 221 00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:20,834 The Secret Service lost all the texts from January 6th 222 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:24,505 because they were doing a "device replacement program." 223 00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:28,842 What a perfect-- I mean terrible thing, oh. 224 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,210 Why-why do I feel like this is the same kind 225 00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,379 of "device replacement program" you do 226 00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:33,680 when your partner asks you to explain 227 00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:34,882 where you were the other night. 228 00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:37,084 "Yeah, I was, I was due for an upgrade 229 00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:40,153 "because of what, uh, what, uh, me and Keisha were up to, 230 00:08:40,254 --> 00:08:43,991 so I had to, yeah, Apple called me, and yeah." 231 00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:47,361 And you know it's interesting how they're saying, 232 00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:49,096 "Once you delete a text, there's no way to retrieve it." 233 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,331 Yeah, once they delete a text, it's gone. 234 00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:53,567 'Cause best believe, if any of us "lost a text," 235 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:56,036 the Secret Service would find it, yeah. 236 00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:58,705 They would find the shit out of it. 237 00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:02,209 You'd be like, "Oh, I, I deleted it." 238 00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:03,477 They'd be like, "Give me that phone." 239 00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:04,811 They'd be like, "Ha, so this is 240 00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:05,879 what you were doing with Keisha." 241 00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:08,315 "Ah, shit." 242 00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:10,651 And, look, I know many people are angry, saying, like, 243 00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:11,752 "I can't believe the Secret Service 244 00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:13,353 isn't handing over these texts." 245 00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:15,622 Well, but I don't know, maybe it's because I'm South African. 246 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,724 I just assumed this would happen. 247 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,060 Yeah, it's the Secret Service. 248 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,429 That's their job, right? To keep secrets. 249 00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:24,298 In fact, if they give you the texts, you should fire them. 250 00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:26,600 Snitch. 251 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,435 The real question we should be asking is, 252 00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:30,704 why are they even texting? 253 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,940 Imagine this-- the Capitol was being overrun 254 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,342 by a mob of Facebook comments come to life, 255 00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:37,444 people are trying to hang the vice president, 256 00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:40,314 and the Secret Service is texting? 257 00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:41,648 Guys, what is this thing for? 258 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,951 (muttering) 259 00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:46,820 What? 260 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,156 (muttering) 261 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,357 You're telling me all that shit was happening 262 00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:51,692 and someone's using text? 263 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,394 They're just like, "Hey, guys, just wanted to warn you, 264 00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,997 "the vice president is in Asia. 265 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,132 "Oh, sorry, autocorrect. 266 00:09:59,233 --> 00:10:01,034 "I meant danger. 267 00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:02,836 "The vice president is in danger. 268 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:06,807 Send back-- Never mind, the problem solved itself." 269 00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,041 And I know a lot of people think 270 00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,110 that this was a huge conspiracy, I do, you know. 271 00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,478 People say that this is proof 272 00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,814 that the Secret Service was in on the Capitol plot, 273 00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:17,618 but it could also be a much simpler answer. 274 00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:20,153 You know, maybe they just don't want people to see the texts 275 00:10:20,254 --> 00:10:23,490 that they were sending about their boss, yeah. 276 00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:24,992 Like, I-I know I wouldn't want that. 277 00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:27,227 Can you imagining being at the congressional hearing, 278 00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:29,730 and Liz Cheney is like, "So Agent Johnson, 279 00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,265 "what did you mean when you texted 280 00:10:31,365 --> 00:10:35,202 President poop emoji is baby crying emoji in car emoji?" 281 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,304 -He's like, "Uh, I'd rather go to jail, ma'am." -(applause) 282 00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:39,306 All right, that's it for the headlines, but before we go, 283 00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:40,841 let's check in on traffic 284 00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:42,776 with our very own Roy wood, Jr., everybody! 285 00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:45,145 (applause and cheering) 286 00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:47,514 Yes. 287 00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,950 What's going on, Roy? How you doing? 288 00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:52,019 What up, man? 289 00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:55,322 So, what's, uh... what's happening in the traffic? 290 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:59,526 (laughter) 291 00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:02,129 (laughter) 292 00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:03,630 What do you want to know? 293 00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:05,632 -I don't know why we always... -What do you want to know 294 00:11:05,732 --> 00:11:07,401 -about traffic? -Why do we always have to fight about this? 295 00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:09,303 Roy, I want to know what the traffic is, okay? 296 00:11:09,403 --> 00:11:11,271 -Oh, you want to know the traffic? -Yeah. 297 00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:12,873 Okay, all right, all right, all right. 298 00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:15,576 -That is a car. -(laughter) 299 00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:18,212 When there is a group of them, 300 00:11:18,312 --> 00:11:21,849 it is called a traffic. 301 00:11:21,949 --> 00:11:25,452 So that is group of traffics 302 00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:27,454 all moving around. I mean, honestly, like, like, 303 00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:29,223 what we really need to be talking about is 304 00:11:29,323 --> 00:11:32,125 how the price of gas went down, and that's why traffic went up. 305 00:11:32,226 --> 00:11:33,794 'Cause everybody outside driving again. 306 00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,262 -It's terrible. This is terrible. -What? No, no. Wait. 307 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,597 Gas going down is terrible. 308 00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:37,931 No, you can't say it's terrible. 309 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,499 You were the one standing here saying 310 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,134 you want the price of gas to go down. That's what you said. 311 00:11:41,235 --> 00:11:43,136 -When did I say that? -(laughter) 312 00:11:43,237 --> 00:11:45,572 No, you said that on the show. 313 00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:47,941 On this... I... On this show? I said it on this show? 314 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,443 Which other show, Roy? You said it on this show. 315 00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:51,445 You can't prove that. We ain't got no tapes. 316 00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:53,814 Look, what we need to be talking about... 317 00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:55,983 What we need to be talking about is this shrinkflation, 'cause 318 00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:57,784 -that's a serious issue-- that shrinkflation. -It really is. 319 00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,486 I experience shrinkflation all the time. 320 00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:01,522 I'll be in the drive-through. I'll be in the drive-through. 321 00:12:01,622 --> 00:12:03,824 -And you see that big burger on the picture. -Yeah. 322 00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:05,492 They show you a big perfect burger, 323 00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:07,194 and you go around to pick up your burger, 324 00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:09,062 -and that burger has shrinked. -I don't think that... 325 00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:10,631 -That's shrinkflation. -I don't think 326 00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:12,032 -that's shrinkflation. -There's all types of shrinkflation. 327 00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:13,400 I don't think that's the same thing. 328 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,269 And that's just one of the many forms. 329 00:12:15,369 --> 00:12:17,237 That's different, but yeah. 330 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,907 Like, 'cause it's not just the products that y'all was... 331 00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:21,408 that you was talking about just now. 332 00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,477 It's a lot of different things. 333 00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:26,747 -Let me ask you a serious question. -Yeah. 334 00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:30,551 Have you noticed that you've been getting less condom? 335 00:12:30,651 --> 00:12:34,454 (laughter) 336 00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:37,191 I'm... 337 00:12:37,291 --> 00:12:38,725 And on a three-pack. You buy a three pack. 338 00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:40,527 -Have you noticed... less condom? -So, wait, wait. 339 00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:42,095 So you're... you're saying there's... 340 00:12:42,196 --> 00:12:44,965 Are you saying have I noticed that there are fewer condoms 341 00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:49,069 -in the pack? -WOMAN: No. No. -(laughter) 342 00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,171 Don't-don't... There's people here. 343 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:54,007 Don't make me explain this. 344 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,510 Less... Like... 345 00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:57,978 All right, you know, like, when you got, like, a fitted hat, 346 00:12:58,078 --> 00:12:59,379 at first, it come down to here, 347 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:00,914 and then, it just be sitting up there. 348 00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:05,085 -(laughter, applause) -Like, out of nowhere, 349 00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:06,587 you don't have as much fitted hat. 350 00:13:06,687 --> 00:13:08,989 The fitted hat be up here. Like, where's the rest of the...? 351 00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:12,025 (laughter) 352 00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:16,697 Do you even use contraception? Do you even understand? 353 00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:19,666 (laughter, applause) 354 00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,401 -That's on the roll. -Roy, let's-let's... 355 00:13:21,502 --> 00:13:23,604 Can we talk about the traffic? 356 00:13:23,704 --> 00:13:27,241 Look, here's the other thing about shrinkflation. 357 00:13:27,341 --> 00:13:29,810 We don't need to just focus on what's happening now. 358 00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:32,679 We got to go back to the source of shrinkflation. 359 00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:35,249 The first group of people that started shrinkflation. 360 00:13:35,349 --> 00:13:36,750 We got to shut them down, 361 00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,318 and then that's how you stop all the shrinkflation. 362 00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:40,020 -Well, who started it? -The shrinkflation ain't new. 363 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,922 That's been going... You know who did it first? 364 00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:44,157 -The Girl Scouts. -(laughter) 365 00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:47,160 -The Girl Scouts did it first. -(applause and cheering) 366 00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:51,798 Don't you trust them little berets. Them Girl Scout... 367 00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:53,867 When you used to buy Girl Scout cookies, the cookie... 368 00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:56,403 the Girl Scout cookie boxes would be this long back in '84. 369 00:13:56,503 --> 00:14:00,574 Now, every year, shorter and shorter and shorter, 370 00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:03,977 the cookies are thinner, and thinner and thinner. 371 00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:06,180 (applause) 372 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,915 And that's not right, man. That's not right. 373 00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:09,616 Then to add insult to injury... 374 00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,385 At least with these corporations now-- 375 00:14:11,485 --> 00:14:13,253 oh, you made the box of cereal smaller, 376 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:16,023 but at least they leave the regular logo and the regular, 377 00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:18,358 like, picture of the cereal on the box. 378 00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:19,793 You know what the Girl Scouts do? 379 00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:22,496 You know what these little... little evil berets do? 380 00:14:22,596 --> 00:14:26,066 Not only do the Girls Scouts shrinkflate the box. 381 00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:29,436 No. Then they charge you more money for less product. 382 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,839 Then they put a picture on the box 383 00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:36,476 -of them having a good time with your money. -(laughter) 384 00:14:36,577 --> 00:14:39,346 -(applause and cheering) -How disrespectful is that. 385 00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:46,053 All right, you want to talk about the traffic now? 386 00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:48,755 No, I feel like we ran out of time once again, Roy. 387 00:14:48,856 --> 00:14:50,090 No, we can talk about it. I got time now. 388 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:51,425 No, no, no, we're good. We got this. 389 00:14:51,525 --> 00:14:52,993 -We can talk about it. -This always happens, 390 00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:54,428 and then we... You know? It's fine. 391 00:14:54,528 --> 00:14:56,930 That's my bad. That's my bad. 392 00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,099 -Next time? -Next time. 393 00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:00,968 Next time, I got you on traffic, for real. 394 00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:04,838 -Oh, I'll believe it when I see it. -I'm for real. I got you. 395 00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:06,240 I feel like you promise me this much traffic, 396 00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:09,176 -and then it shrinks down. -(laughter) 397 00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:10,644 -(applause and cheering) -What did you just say? 398 00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,045 Thank you so much, Roy Wood, Jr. All right, 399 00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:13,580 we're going to take a quick break, before we go, 400 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,249 don't eat that apple. 401 00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:17,050 We'll tell you why after we come back. 402 00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:19,186 (applause and cheering) 403 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,395 (cheering and applause) 404 00:15:31,634 --> 00:15:32,902 Welcome back to The Daily Show. 405 00:15:33,002 --> 00:15:35,337 If you've spent any time online at all, 406 00:15:35,437 --> 00:15:37,606 you know that there are conspiracy theories 407 00:15:37,706 --> 00:15:38,774 about everything. 408 00:15:38,874 --> 00:15:40,609 The war in Ukraine is scripted. 409 00:15:40,709 --> 00:15:42,845 The FBI did January 6. 410 00:15:42,945 --> 00:15:44,146 The Illuminati is real, 411 00:15:44,246 --> 00:15:46,382 but Beyoncé isn't in it. 412 00:15:46,482 --> 00:15:48,250 But those are just the obvious ones, 413 00:15:48,350 --> 00:15:49,818 which is why we have a special segment 414 00:15:49,919 --> 00:15:53,689 that reveals the conspiracies you never even knew about. 415 00:15:53,789 --> 00:15:56,458 KOSTA: Conspiracies. They're everywhere. 416 00:15:56,558 --> 00:15:58,027 Or are they nowhere? 417 00:15:58,127 --> 00:16:01,864 Or is that exactly what they want you to think? 418 00:16:01,964 --> 00:16:03,799 So that's where my wallet is. 419 00:16:03,899 --> 00:16:05,434 Well, for every they... 420 00:16:06,402 --> 00:16:07,836 ...there's a me. 421 00:16:07,937 --> 00:16:09,605 I'm Kevin Matthew Kelp. 422 00:16:09,705 --> 00:16:11,607 Follow me as I pull back the curtain 423 00:16:11,707 --> 00:16:13,709 to find the truth behind... 424 00:16:13,809 --> 00:16:14,910 the curtain. 425 00:16:15,010 --> 00:16:18,547 This is Project: Conspiracy. 426 00:16:18,647 --> 00:16:20,115 ♪ ♪ 427 00:16:22,117 --> 00:16:24,353 (panting) 428 00:16:24,453 --> 00:16:26,422 A lot of the most well-known conspiracies 429 00:16:26,522 --> 00:16:28,324 are about what goes into our bodies-- 430 00:16:28,424 --> 00:16:30,392 fluoride, microchips, 431 00:16:30,492 --> 00:16:33,362 spiders the Chinese sent to crawl into our mouths 432 00:16:33,462 --> 00:16:34,530 while we sleep. 433 00:16:34,630 --> 00:16:36,765 But there might be one government spyware 434 00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:38,867 that we've all been overlooking. 435 00:16:38,968 --> 00:16:40,302 That's right. 436 00:16:40,402 --> 00:16:41,637 Fruit. 437 00:16:41,737 --> 00:16:43,038 Let's go. 438 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:47,509 Look, every single piece of fruit has a sticker on it. 439 00:16:47,610 --> 00:16:49,478 Apples. 440 00:16:49,578 --> 00:16:51,280 Pears. 441 00:16:51,380 --> 00:16:52,781 Whatever these are. 442 00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:54,049 Even the pineapples. 443 00:16:54,149 --> 00:16:55,784 Ow! Godda-- 444 00:16:55,884 --> 00:16:57,720 These fruit-- Ow. 445 00:16:57,820 --> 00:16:58,921 (bleep) 446 00:16:59,021 --> 00:17:00,322 (exhales) 447 00:17:00,422 --> 00:17:02,391 These fruit stickers were everywhere, 448 00:17:02,491 --> 00:17:04,426 but they weren't the fun kind that say things 449 00:17:04,526 --> 00:17:07,396 like "Grape job!" or "I love you berry much." 450 00:17:07,496 --> 00:17:11,400 Instead, they were filled with mysterious numerical codes. 451 00:17:12,868 --> 00:17:14,937 (whispers): Granny Smith. 452 00:17:15,037 --> 00:17:17,206 How do they know my grandmother's last name? 453 00:17:17,306 --> 00:17:18,607 ♪ ♪ 454 00:17:18,707 --> 00:17:21,644 I tried everything I could to crack this conspiracy. 455 00:17:21,744 --> 00:17:24,346 I listed every number I could think of. 456 00:17:24,446 --> 00:17:25,614 -Even seven. -(sighs) 457 00:17:25,714 --> 00:17:26,949 But it was no use. 458 00:17:27,049 --> 00:17:28,851 The codes were unbreakable. 459 00:17:28,951 --> 00:17:31,654 If I was ever going to blow this conspiracy wide open, 460 00:17:31,754 --> 00:17:33,889 I'd have to go undercover. 461 00:17:34,857 --> 00:17:36,592 I love fruit. 462 00:17:36,692 --> 00:17:38,761 Just love buying fruit. 463 00:17:39,762 --> 00:17:42,665 Just an ordinary guy buying lots of fruit. 464 00:17:42,765 --> 00:17:45,267 Yeah, you're probably wondering why I'm buying so much fruit. 465 00:17:45,367 --> 00:17:46,969 It's 'cause I'm having a fruit party later. 466 00:17:47,069 --> 00:17:49,838 -Okay. -Unfortunately you can't come, so... 467 00:17:49,939 --> 00:17:52,308 -Okay. -Yeah. Hey, I did notice that, on all the fruit, 468 00:17:52,408 --> 00:17:53,676 they have these stickers. 469 00:17:53,776 --> 00:17:55,311 You don't know what that's about, do you? 470 00:17:55,411 --> 00:17:57,846 Um, I guess so they can track the fruit or something? 471 00:17:57,947 --> 00:17:59,248 Oh, my God, she admitted it. Run. 472 00:17:59,348 --> 00:18:00,783 -Oh, my God. -Who are you talking to? Hey, you forgot 473 00:18:00,883 --> 00:18:02,251 -the fruit for your fruit party! -Oh, my God, oh, my God, 474 00:18:02,351 --> 00:18:04,053 oh, my God, oh, my God. (pants) 475 00:18:04,153 --> 00:18:05,688 Okay, so thanks to my espionage skills, 476 00:18:05,788 --> 00:18:08,357 we've established that the codes are used for tracking. 477 00:18:08,457 --> 00:18:10,059 But now it's time to find out 478 00:18:10,159 --> 00:18:12,194 who's doing the tracking. 479 00:18:13,162 --> 00:18:14,797 -Does anybody know where these little... -After my usual 480 00:18:14,897 --> 00:18:17,099 investigative techniques turned up nothing... 481 00:18:17,199 --> 00:18:19,702 Does anybody know where these little stickers come from?! 482 00:18:19,802 --> 00:18:21,604 ...I was able to find some answers 483 00:18:21,704 --> 00:18:24,173 by hacking the deep state. 484 00:18:24,273 --> 00:18:25,841 ♪ ♪ 485 00:18:25,941 --> 00:18:27,476 Meet the IFPS, 486 00:18:27,576 --> 00:18:29,445 A.K.A. the International Federation 487 00:18:29,545 --> 00:18:30,779 for Produce Standards, 488 00:18:30,879 --> 00:18:32,915 A.K.A. a secret global cabal 489 00:18:33,015 --> 00:18:34,617 because I've never heard of it before. 490 00:18:34,717 --> 00:18:35,618 And guess what-- 491 00:18:35,718 --> 00:18:37,419 they're in cahoots with... 492 00:18:37,519 --> 00:18:38,787 the FDA, 493 00:18:38,887 --> 00:18:41,824 A.K.A. the government. 494 00:18:41,924 --> 00:18:44,460 The FDA regulates the adhesives on these stickers, 495 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:47,096 and they just so happen to be the same shadow organization 496 00:18:47,196 --> 00:18:48,998 that recommends you eat 497 00:18:49,098 --> 00:18:53,068 three to four servings of fruit every day, 498 00:18:53,168 --> 00:18:54,737 an amount of fruit so ridiculous 499 00:18:54,837 --> 00:18:57,206 that anyone who's tried to do it has probably consumed 500 00:18:57,306 --> 00:18:59,775 two to three stickers without even realizing it. 501 00:18:59,875 --> 00:19:02,244 Are these stickers tracking the fruit? 502 00:19:02,344 --> 00:19:06,882 Or maybe they're tracking... 503 00:19:06,982 --> 00:19:08,918 you. 504 00:19:09,018 --> 00:19:10,619 So is the government really trying to trick us 505 00:19:10,719 --> 00:19:12,855 into eating stickers-- 506 00:19:12,955 --> 00:19:14,323 something every teacher from kindergarten 507 00:19:14,423 --> 00:19:16,392 through college told me not to do? 508 00:19:16,492 --> 00:19:19,194 There's only one way to find out. 509 00:19:19,295 --> 00:19:22,498 Let's see if my stomach can handle the truth. 510 00:19:24,133 --> 00:19:26,335 Should have gone with the apple. 511 00:19:30,773 --> 00:19:33,075 It was immediately clear that eating the sticker 512 00:19:33,175 --> 00:19:36,378 turned me into a walking GPS for the government. 513 00:19:36,478 --> 00:19:38,614 (whimpering) 514 00:19:38,714 --> 00:19:40,049 -(whistling) -Everywhere I went, 515 00:19:40,149 --> 00:19:41,784 I was being followed by Big Brother. 516 00:19:41,884 --> 00:19:44,320 The police watched my every move. 517 00:19:44,420 --> 00:19:46,989 Secret agents pretended to read newspapers. 518 00:19:47,089 --> 00:19:48,691 Hey. What? Hey! 519 00:19:48,791 --> 00:19:51,994 Hey, not so sneaky with your special spy gadget now, are you? 520 00:19:52,094 --> 00:19:53,996 The evidence couldn't be clearer. 521 00:19:54,096 --> 00:19:56,832 The FDA is tracking us through fruit stickers. 522 00:19:56,932 --> 00:20:01,370 More like The Food and... Deceit Administration. 523 00:20:01,470 --> 00:20:03,372 That's actually pretty good. I should write that down. 524 00:20:03,472 --> 00:20:05,541 God, where do you come up with this stuff, Kevin? 525 00:20:05,641 --> 00:20:09,812 Aah! Aah! 526 00:20:09,912 --> 00:20:11,814 Now that I've uncovered the truth, 527 00:20:11,914 --> 00:20:14,450 I can't be a part of this corrupt sticker system anymore. 528 00:20:14,550 --> 00:20:18,087 And luckily, I don't need the FDA and their spy fruit 529 00:20:18,187 --> 00:20:20,656 because some of the best fruit actually is regulated 530 00:20:20,756 --> 00:20:24,693 by Mother Nature. Oh, yeah. (chuckles) 531 00:20:26,896 --> 00:20:29,565 Mmm. Mmm. 532 00:20:29,665 --> 00:20:32,201 Tastes like freedom. Yeah. 533 00:20:32,301 --> 00:20:35,070 It's a little funky, okay? 534 00:20:35,170 --> 00:20:37,506 It burns a lot. 535 00:20:37,606 --> 00:20:39,942 (coughing) 536 00:20:40,042 --> 00:20:42,111 ♪ ♪ 537 00:20:48,150 --> 00:20:49,585 -(cheers and applause) -Rest in peace, Kevin. 538 00:20:49,685 --> 00:20:51,387 All right, stay tuned because when we come back, 539 00:20:51,487 --> 00:20:54,056 the director of the world's biggest telescope will tell me 540 00:20:54,156 --> 00:20:56,125 what he's found in outer space, so don't go away. 541 00:20:56,225 --> 00:20:58,260 (applause and cheering) 542 00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:08,155 (cheering and applause) 543 00:21:11,425 --> 00:21:13,060 Welcome back to The Daily Show. 544 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:16,530 My guest tonight is a longtime NASA employee 545 00:21:16,630 --> 00:21:18,899 who oversaw the program that launched the largest 546 00:21:18,999 --> 00:21:21,702 and most powerful satellite into space. 547 00:21:21,802 --> 00:21:23,404 For the first time ever, 548 00:21:23,504 --> 00:21:25,806 thanks to the James Webb Space Telescope, 549 00:21:25,906 --> 00:21:28,542 we're seeing deeper into the universe than ever before. 550 00:21:28,642 --> 00:21:30,744 So please welcome Gregory Robinson. 551 00:21:30,844 --> 00:21:32,880 -♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause) 552 00:21:36,784 --> 00:21:38,218 Welcome. 553 00:21:38,318 --> 00:21:39,486 Thank you. 554 00:21:45,659 --> 00:21:47,294 Mr. Robinson, welcome to The Daily Show. 555 00:21:47,394 --> 00:21:49,697 -Hey, I'm glad to be here. It's really an honor. -I'm so excited 556 00:21:49,797 --> 00:21:52,633 to have you here, because this is one of the biggest stories. 557 00:21:52,733 --> 00:21:54,468 You know? Everyone saw it on social media. 558 00:21:54,568 --> 00:21:57,738 There was a picture of, like, what seemed like the universe, 559 00:21:57,838 --> 00:21:59,139 everything, and then it was like, 560 00:21:59,239 --> 00:22:01,275 "Here's the old one. Here's the new one," 561 00:22:01,375 --> 00:22:03,277 and then we all had to act like we knew 562 00:22:03,377 --> 00:22:05,612 -why that was important. -(laughing) 563 00:22:05,713 --> 00:22:08,315 But you're actually the person behind why it happened 564 00:22:08,415 --> 00:22:09,583 and how it-- how it got together. 565 00:22:09,683 --> 00:22:10,918 So let's start with this. 566 00:22:11,018 --> 00:22:12,553 For everybody-everybody to be on the same page-- 567 00:22:12,653 --> 00:22:14,555 -mostly me-- um... -(chuckles) 568 00:22:14,655 --> 00:22:18,025 ...why is this jump in telescope technology so impressive 569 00:22:18,125 --> 00:22:19,426 and why is it so important? 570 00:22:19,526 --> 00:22:21,295 So, when we compare, we're comparing to Hubble, 571 00:22:21,395 --> 00:22:23,931 -which was, uh, state-of-the-art 30 years ago. -Mm-hmm. 572 00:22:24,031 --> 00:22:26,000 And Webb gives us a much bigger mirror. 573 00:22:26,100 --> 00:22:29,870 It's 6.5 meters versus 2.4, uh, for Hubble. 574 00:22:29,970 --> 00:22:31,638 And the infrared technology, 575 00:22:31,739 --> 00:22:33,440 if you think about-- look at, like, night vision... 576 00:22:33,540 --> 00:22:36,110 -Yeah. -...you can see heat, uh, uh, through something. 577 00:22:36,243 --> 00:22:37,911 Uh, so it gives us infrared capabilities 578 00:22:38,012 --> 00:22:40,347 so we can look through the-the dust and clouds 579 00:22:40,447 --> 00:22:41,749 and gook of space 580 00:22:41,849 --> 00:22:43,817 and look much further back. 581 00:22:43,917 --> 00:22:45,352 Uh, of course, our science instruments 582 00:22:45,452 --> 00:22:47,588 are a lot more complex, too, 583 00:22:47,688 --> 00:22:49,256 so the clarity is a lot better 584 00:22:49,356 --> 00:22:50,658 and the depth is a lot better. 585 00:22:50,758 --> 00:22:53,460 What-what I know, um, is really confusing sometimes 586 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,262 when talking about anything in space 587 00:22:55,362 --> 00:22:58,365 is that sometimes they say things in terms of time 588 00:22:58,465 --> 00:23:00,868 and sometimes they say things in terms of distance. 589 00:23:00,968 --> 00:23:02,269 And it gets a little-- You know, they'll be like, 590 00:23:02,336 --> 00:23:05,673 "We're seeing something from 13 billion years ago." 591 00:23:05,773 --> 00:23:07,608 I'm like... (stammers) "I'm sorry, what?" 592 00:23:07,708 --> 00:23:10,544 -(laughing) -'Kay, wh-what d-- what does that even mean? 593 00:23:10,644 --> 00:23:12,346 Well, sometimes I say "What?" as well. 594 00:23:12,446 --> 00:23:14,114 -(laughs) -So... (chuckles) 595 00:23:14,214 --> 00:23:16,784 S-So, we're-we're looking at-at light traveling 596 00:23:16,884 --> 00:23:18,719 186,000 miles per second, 597 00:23:18,819 --> 00:23:20,120 -if you can imagine that. -Okay. 598 00:23:20,220 --> 00:23:22,289 So we're looking at light, something that happened 599 00:23:22,389 --> 00:23:25,693 billions of years ago, and it's just reaching us now. 600 00:23:25,793 --> 00:23:28,962 So it's-it's time, distance, travel of light. 601 00:23:29,063 --> 00:23:30,698 And that's actually what we're looking at. 602 00:23:30,798 --> 00:23:34,568 And so we can see what happened a really long time ago 603 00:23:34,668 --> 00:23:36,537 somewhere else out there. 604 00:23:36,637 --> 00:23:38,572 What do we use this information for? 605 00:23:38,672 --> 00:23:41,942 Like, will it tell us that aliens, like, left a long time, 606 00:23:42,042 --> 00:23:43,243 and now they're already here? 607 00:23:43,344 --> 00:23:45,045 Does it, does it tell us where we're going to go 608 00:23:45,145 --> 00:23:46,046 after we destroy Earth? 609 00:23:46,146 --> 00:23:48,015 What is it telling us? 610 00:23:48,115 --> 00:23:50,651 Well, you know, in astrophysics and astronomy 611 00:23:50,751 --> 00:23:52,286 we're always looking to answer questions. 612 00:23:52,386 --> 00:23:53,454 Uh, where do we come from? 613 00:23:53,554 --> 00:23:54,755 How do we fit into this universe? 614 00:23:54,855 --> 00:23:56,056 Are we alone? 615 00:23:56,156 --> 00:23:57,891 Which is another one, uh, we-we're looking for. 616 00:23:57,992 --> 00:24:03,263 So it helps inform us on how we fit into the universe. 617 00:24:03,364 --> 00:24:04,798 And-and as far as light travel, 618 00:24:04,898 --> 00:24:06,200 I remember growing up in the country 619 00:24:06,266 --> 00:24:09,003 and shining a flashlight up in the sky and saying, 620 00:24:09,103 --> 00:24:12,239 "I wonder how long it's taking that to get to certain points." 621 00:24:12,339 --> 00:24:14,408 -Oh, wow. -And which is the same kind of thing as light travel, 622 00:24:14,508 --> 00:24:15,843 which is what you're looking for. 623 00:24:15,943 --> 00:24:17,378 It's interesting you say that, growing up in the country, 624 00:24:17,478 --> 00:24:19,213 because I-I've read your story, 625 00:24:19,279 --> 00:24:21,415 and you have one of the most fascinating journeys 626 00:24:21,515 --> 00:24:22,483 I've ever come across. 627 00:24:22,583 --> 00:24:23,817 Because you grew up, 628 00:24:23,917 --> 00:24:26,520 your parents were sharecroppers in rural Virginia, 629 00:24:26,620 --> 00:24:27,921 all right, you went to a segregated school, 630 00:24:28,022 --> 00:24:30,524 you didn't have the education that you wanted to, 631 00:24:30,624 --> 00:24:33,427 and then here you are, the man who was brought in 632 00:24:33,527 --> 00:24:36,296 to basically get this $10 billion telescope 633 00:24:36,397 --> 00:24:37,398 up and running. 634 00:24:37,498 --> 00:24:38,399 It was failing before you stepped in. 635 00:24:38,499 --> 00:24:39,633 They called you and they're like, 636 00:24:39,733 --> 00:24:41,669 "We need you to do this," and you did it. 637 00:24:41,769 --> 00:24:44,705 -How-- like, how...? -(cheering and applause) 638 00:24:44,805 --> 00:24:45,906 Where does that love come from, 639 00:24:46,006 --> 00:24:47,441 and how did you get into this role? 640 00:24:47,541 --> 00:24:49,777 So, uh, a couple things. 641 00:24:49,877 --> 00:24:52,780 One is, um, that education in the segregated school 642 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:54,715 -was-was excellent. -Wow. 643 00:24:54,815 --> 00:24:56,984 We had some of the best teachers in the world. 644 00:24:57,084 --> 00:24:58,619 Uh, many of them were far more educated 645 00:24:58,719 --> 00:25:00,421 than the teachers in other schools 646 00:25:00,521 --> 00:25:02,656 because they couldn't get jobs in the industry 647 00:25:02,756 --> 00:25:05,192 like they can today, so we had great teachers 648 00:25:05,225 --> 00:25:07,361 who really nurtured us and cared about us. 649 00:25:07,461 --> 00:25:09,997 Uh, so my beginnings were-were very strong. 650 00:25:10,097 --> 00:25:13,000 And so, of course, I-I lived through the Apollo time-- 651 00:25:13,100 --> 00:25:15,369 I was a little kid then-- which excited me, 652 00:25:15,469 --> 00:25:17,104 but that still didn't get my interest in space. 653 00:25:17,204 --> 00:25:18,539 So, I was in college, 654 00:25:18,639 --> 00:25:22,209 and-and friends of mine actually did internships at NASA 655 00:25:22,309 --> 00:25:24,611 and they made it sound, sound so interesting, 656 00:25:24,712 --> 00:25:27,281 and a few years later I started my career in the industry, 657 00:25:27,381 --> 00:25:29,350 but a few years later I actually joined NASA. 658 00:25:29,450 --> 00:25:31,685 And, uh, four and a half years ago, 659 00:25:31,785 --> 00:25:34,221 um, uh, there were some issues. 660 00:25:34,254 --> 00:25:37,124 Um, my boss asked me to, to, uh, try 661 00:25:37,224 --> 00:25:38,559 to get it over the goal line. 662 00:25:38,659 --> 00:25:41,228 Now, I will say a lot of the work was already done, 663 00:25:41,328 --> 00:25:42,396 -already completed. -Yeah, yeah. 664 00:25:42,496 --> 00:25:44,999 So, uh, thanks to the team for that. 665 00:25:45,099 --> 00:25:48,602 And this team is an incredibly, incredibly smart team of people, 666 00:25:48,702 --> 00:25:50,237 if you can imagine, at NASA. 667 00:25:50,270 --> 00:25:52,639 So, smarts is never a shortage at NASA 668 00:25:52,740 --> 00:25:54,875 and certainly not for this team. 669 00:25:54,975 --> 00:25:57,644 And this team is not just NASA, it's our whole industrial base, 670 00:25:57,745 --> 00:25:59,813 uh, plus the European Space Agency 671 00:25:59,913 --> 00:26:02,850 and the Canadian Space Agency-- two of our-our big partners. 672 00:26:02,950 --> 00:26:04,284 Let me ask you a question. 673 00:26:04,385 --> 00:26:07,187 And I-I believe that you-you're retiring soon, correct? 674 00:26:07,221 --> 00:26:08,188 Uh, yes, I'm retiring soon. 675 00:26:08,255 --> 00:26:09,623 -Life comes at me fast. -Wow. 676 00:26:09,723 --> 00:26:10,924 -So, so, uh... -That-that's sad. 677 00:26:11,025 --> 00:26:12,793 'Cause, I mean, you've been around for so long. 678 00:26:12,893 --> 00:26:14,261 You've been... you've been doing such a great job. 679 00:26:14,361 --> 00:26:15,896 -So, uh... -I know NASA's going to miss you. 680 00:26:15,996 --> 00:26:18,098 But-but because you are retiring, 681 00:26:18,198 --> 00:26:19,600 I feel like you could, you could probably tell me 682 00:26:19,700 --> 00:26:21,235 a few things you wouldn't be allowed to... 683 00:26:21,335 --> 00:26:22,970 Like, you know, when you're leaving. 684 00:26:23,070 --> 00:26:25,406 Like, so, have you taken any pictures 685 00:26:25,506 --> 00:26:28,008 and then seen something that, like they don't tell us about? 686 00:26:28,108 --> 00:26:29,843 -Like, you know... -(laughter) 687 00:26:29,943 --> 00:26:31,211 -(chuckling) -Like, let me put it this way. 688 00:26:31,311 --> 00:26:33,280 In New York, if you have, like, a superpowered telescope 689 00:26:33,380 --> 00:26:34,581 and you shine it in another person's apartment, 690 00:26:34,682 --> 00:26:36,417 -you might see some things. -(laughter) 691 00:26:36,517 --> 00:26:38,519 And I'm wondering if you've seen some things out there 692 00:26:38,619 --> 00:26:39,586 but then you don't tell us. 693 00:26:39,687 --> 00:26:41,555 Or are these all the pictures? 694 00:26:41,655 --> 00:26:43,090 You can just wink if I'm close. 695 00:26:43,223 --> 00:26:45,059 -You can... -(laughter) 696 00:26:45,225 --> 00:26:47,261 Well, I think your-your telescope in New York example, 697 00:26:47,361 --> 00:26:49,963 you probably see something you've already seen before. 698 00:26:50,064 --> 00:26:52,499 -(laughter) -(applause) 699 00:26:53,367 --> 00:26:55,769 Uh, I think in our case, 700 00:26:55,869 --> 00:26:57,771 uh, we will certainly see things we haven't seen before 701 00:26:57,871 --> 00:26:59,440 but a lot clearer. 702 00:26:59,540 --> 00:27:00,874 And we will, we will learn things 703 00:27:00,974 --> 00:27:03,644 that we could never even imagine so as we answer questions 704 00:27:03,744 --> 00:27:06,680 we also will create new questions for the future. 705 00:27:06,780 --> 00:27:09,616 What are we using the answers to these questions to do? 706 00:27:09,717 --> 00:27:12,953 You know? I-I understand there is some importance to it 707 00:27:13,053 --> 00:27:14,855 but how does it help what happens on Earth 708 00:27:14,955 --> 00:27:17,191 or what are people hoping we'll learn 709 00:27:17,291 --> 00:27:19,326 from these telescopes and what they are revealing? 710 00:27:19,426 --> 00:27:21,795 Well, one, we'd learn a lot about physics. 711 00:27:21,895 --> 00:27:23,030 And if you think about it, 712 00:27:23,197 --> 00:27:24,631 uh, if you go back many, many years, 713 00:27:24,732 --> 00:27:27,301 uh, and you think of the physics textbooks. 714 00:27:27,401 --> 00:27:30,971 Um, we have information today that wasn't there then 715 00:27:31,071 --> 00:27:33,107 and-and if you think about, 716 00:27:33,207 --> 00:27:35,009 -ah, geez, just a hundred years ago... -Mm-hmm. 717 00:27:35,109 --> 00:27:37,211 ...we thought that was just one galaxy 718 00:27:37,244 --> 00:27:39,780 in the whole universe. Ours. 719 00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:41,215 And, uh, Hubble-- 720 00:27:41,315 --> 00:27:43,550 uh, Hubble telescope is named after him-- 721 00:27:43,650 --> 00:27:45,386 discovered more galaxies. 722 00:27:45,486 --> 00:27:47,788 So we know a lot more about who we are, 723 00:27:47,888 --> 00:27:49,490 where we are, where we come from. 724 00:27:49,590 --> 00:27:52,926 And so that's on an astrophysics side, 725 00:27:53,027 --> 00:27:56,563 but other science missions tell us a lot about the Earth, 726 00:27:56,664 --> 00:27:58,565 how interaction with the sun, how that impacts, 727 00:27:58,666 --> 00:28:01,402 so the Earth has a system within our own solar system. 728 00:28:01,502 --> 00:28:02,736 I see. 729 00:28:02,836 --> 00:28:05,939 So, now that you have the James Webb telescope, 730 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,375 I mean, Hubble was, until a few months ago, 731 00:28:08,475 --> 00:28:11,245 you know, was everybody's bae in space. 732 00:28:11,345 --> 00:28:12,646 -You know, and then... -(laughter) 733 00:28:12,746 --> 00:28:15,315 I-I just felt a little, you know... 734 00:28:15,416 --> 00:28:17,351 I felt a little sad on-on Hubble's behalf. 735 00:28:17,451 --> 00:28:18,585 Everyone was just like, 736 00:28:18,686 --> 00:28:19,853 "Oh, look how shit Hubble's pictures are." 737 00:28:19,953 --> 00:28:21,088 (laughter) 738 00:28:21,188 --> 00:28:22,690 Wh-What happens to Hubble now? 739 00:28:22,790 --> 00:28:25,025 So Hubble has been operating more than 30 years. 740 00:28:25,192 --> 00:28:28,062 -Yeah. -Um, and again it was state-of-the-art. 741 00:28:28,195 --> 00:28:29,730 -It is going to continue operating. -Okay, okay. 742 00:28:29,830 --> 00:28:33,500 So, there are still things, uh, we benefit from Hubble. 743 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:35,102 Uh, so we're still looking forward 744 00:28:35,202 --> 00:28:36,437 to a long-time operation for that. 745 00:28:36,537 --> 00:28:37,771 Is there something Hubble can do 746 00:28:37,871 --> 00:28:40,441 that the Webb telescope can't do? 747 00:28:40,541 --> 00:28:42,209 Uh, not at the level we're talking about. 748 00:28:42,242 --> 00:28:44,945 -Okay. -Not at all, and just, uh-- I don't know-- two 749 00:28:45,045 --> 00:28:46,714 -or three month... -So you're just being nice to Hubble? 750 00:28:46,814 --> 00:28:52,086 Well, two or three months ago, uh, Hubble discovered a star 751 00:28:52,219 --> 00:28:55,356 that was 900 million years after the big bang. 752 00:28:55,456 --> 00:28:57,358 So wrap that around your head. 753 00:28:57,458 --> 00:29:00,928 900 million years after big bang. 754 00:29:01,028 --> 00:29:03,497 Now, in space, that's still a long time, 755 00:29:03,597 --> 00:29:04,965 but when you're talking billions, 756 00:29:05,065 --> 00:29:07,167 that's looking back quite a bit. 757 00:29:07,201 --> 00:29:09,169 That is really fascinating. 758 00:29:09,203 --> 00:29:10,471 I mean, I just love the idea 759 00:29:10,571 --> 00:29:12,172 that, you know, you're part of this mission, 760 00:29:12,206 --> 00:29:13,474 you get this telescope. 761 00:29:13,574 --> 00:29:15,376 You know, you have to shoot it up into space, 762 00:29:15,476 --> 00:29:17,277 and then, you start taking the pictures. 763 00:29:17,378 --> 00:29:20,881 Whose job is it to stitch the pictures together and to get...? 764 00:29:20,981 --> 00:29:22,282 To unblur the pictures? 765 00:29:22,383 --> 00:29:23,884 Because when you take the picture, it's... 766 00:29:23,984 --> 00:29:25,285 I've heard it basically looks like nothing. 767 00:29:25,386 --> 00:29:26,887 That's what I've been told. It just... 768 00:29:26,987 --> 00:29:28,989 It just looks like somebody has shown you a picture of night. 769 00:29:29,089 --> 00:29:30,457 And then, somebody sits there, and they go like, 770 00:29:30,557 --> 00:29:32,026 -"Oh, now, I see something." -Well... 771 00:29:32,192 --> 00:29:33,927 Like, who's doing that and how do you do it? 772 00:29:34,028 --> 00:29:35,429 -So... So, they... -And how do you know that you actually are 773 00:29:35,529 --> 00:29:36,864 seeing a thing where it's like...? 774 00:29:36,964 --> 00:29:38,532 So the scientists actually... 775 00:29:38,632 --> 00:29:40,267 -They know what they're looking at. -Okay. 776 00:29:40,367 --> 00:29:43,937 Um, and so they do some, what we call "processing," 777 00:29:44,038 --> 00:29:47,808 to make the pictures look more presentable to-to human eye. 778 00:29:47,908 --> 00:29:49,209 -Right. To idiots. You can say it. -Uh... 779 00:29:49,309 --> 00:29:51,245 -I understand. You can... I know. -Yeah. -(laughter) 780 00:29:51,345 --> 00:29:53,881 I'm one of those humans, too, I think, thank God. 781 00:29:53,981 --> 00:29:56,884 -No. We... No. -So the scientists process it. 782 00:29:56,984 --> 00:29:58,252 -They use the science instruments. -Okay. 783 00:29:58,352 --> 00:29:59,753 And then have some post processing 784 00:29:59,853 --> 00:30:01,989 beyond the instruments to make it look like 785 00:30:02,089 --> 00:30:03,924 what we've seen recently. 786 00:30:04,024 --> 00:30:05,659 But they actually know what they are looking at 787 00:30:05,759 --> 00:30:07,227 when they receive the data, so they just... 788 00:30:07,328 --> 00:30:08,562 -Ah. Okay. So they get it. We just... -Yeah. Yes. 789 00:30:08,662 --> 00:30:10,998 -They make it simpler for us. -Uh, absolutely. 790 00:30:11,165 --> 00:30:13,434 So I would love to know where your journey goes from here. 791 00:30:13,534 --> 00:30:15,436 I mean, you've been part of NASA for such a long time. 792 00:30:15,536 --> 00:30:18,639 You've been part of the biggest, you know, discovery 793 00:30:18,739 --> 00:30:21,308 or invention that humans have ever created. 794 00:30:21,408 --> 00:30:23,577 Where to from here? You retire, and then what do you do? 795 00:30:23,677 --> 00:30:27,348 So, sure, the Webb is done from a development standpoint, 796 00:30:27,448 --> 00:30:30,217 so now it is the scientists' job for the next 20 plus years. 797 00:30:30,317 --> 00:30:31,485 -Mm-hmm. -I know they will do well. 798 00:30:31,585 --> 00:30:34,822 So it's, um... It's just that time for me. 799 00:30:34,922 --> 00:30:36,623 I'm not running from or to anything. 800 00:30:36,724 --> 00:30:39,059 It's just time, um, but after... 801 00:30:39,193 --> 00:30:41,528 As I often say, "Don't let the good looks fool you." 802 00:30:41,628 --> 00:30:45,065 -I'm still a young man, uh, but, I'm... -(laughter) 803 00:30:45,199 --> 00:30:47,101 -(applause and cheering) -But I'm getting up there. 804 00:30:47,201 --> 00:30:50,204 So... so I still plan to do some other things. 805 00:30:50,270 --> 00:30:53,240 -Okay. -Still exploring what I'm going to do when I grow up. 806 00:30:53,340 --> 00:30:54,675 -I'm looking forward to it. -I love this. 807 00:30:54,775 --> 00:30:56,677 -Thank you so much for being on the show. -Thank you. 808 00:30:56,777 --> 00:30:58,212 -Thank you. Yeah. -Thank you for explaining it. 809 00:30:58,278 --> 00:30:59,513 Thank you for helping create it. 810 00:30:59,613 --> 00:31:00,848 He's saying it's up to the team. 811 00:31:00,948 --> 00:31:02,216 -Thank you. -We're gonna take a quick break, 812 00:31:02,316 --> 00:31:04,284 but we'll be right back after this. 813 00:31:04,385 --> 00:31:06,053 Thank you so much. 814 00:31:06,153 --> 00:31:08,188 (applause and cheering) 815 00:31:10,995 --> 00:31:13,030 (applause and cheering) 816 00:31:13,130 --> 00:31:17,034 Well, that's our show for tonight, but before we go, 817 00:31:17,134 --> 00:31:18,970 please consider supporting KEEN, 818 00:31:19,070 --> 00:31:22,173 an organization providing free fitness and recreation programs 819 00:31:22,273 --> 00:31:23,808 for youth with disabilities. 820 00:31:23,908 --> 00:31:25,610 If you want to help them offer equal opportunities 821 00:31:25,710 --> 00:31:27,311 for recreation, fitness and friendship, 822 00:31:27,411 --> 00:31:29,146 then please donate at the link below. 823 00:31:29,247 --> 00:31:31,482 Until next time, stay safe out there and remember. 824 00:31:31,582 --> 00:31:34,585 If your boss ever complains that you're not doing enough work, 825 00:31:34,685 --> 00:31:37,588 you just tell them, "Shrinkflation's a bitch, baby." 826 00:31:37,688 --> 00:31:40,725 Now here it is-- Your Moment of Zen. 827 00:31:40,825 --> 00:31:42,527 ♪ ♪ 828 00:31:42,627 --> 00:31:44,929 It is very steamy out here on the weather deck. 829 00:31:45,029 --> 00:31:47,198 I pushed through the weather deck doors to get outside, 830 00:31:47,298 --> 00:31:49,133 and immediately, went, "Blah!" 831 00:31:49,233 --> 00:31:50,968 'Cause that's just how it feels out here. 832 00:31:51,068 --> 00:31:52,370 It feels like pea soup. 833 00:31:52,470 --> 00:31:55,206 It's so hot out here, my phone shut down. 834 00:31:55,306 --> 00:31:57,808 On a day like today, everybody wears sweatpants. 835 00:31:57,909 --> 00:32:00,545 Because all pants... You'd be sweating 836 00:32:00,645 --> 00:32:02,046 -in any kind of pant you wear. -Oh. Oh, I get it. 837 00:32:02,146 --> 00:32:04,215 -Oh, my God, it's so hot. -I mean, my hair. 838 00:32:04,315 --> 00:32:06,050 -It's ruining my hair. -Ew. 839 00:32:06,150 --> 00:32:07,919 -When's it going to break, Al? -Oh, it's so... 840 00:32:08,019 --> 00:32:10,087 -(laughs) -When's the weather gonna break, Al?