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♪ ♪
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ANNOUNCER: Coming to you
from New York City,
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the only city in America,
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it's The Daily Show!
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Tonight,
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Nancy Pelosi is a jet-setter,
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taking down terrorists,
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and Ms. Pat.
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This is The Daily Show
with Trevor Noah!
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-♪ ♪
-(cheering and applause)
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What's going on, everybody?!
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Welcome to The Daily Show!
I'm Trevor Noah!
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Thank you so much for tuning in!
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Thank you for coming out
in person!
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Thank you for being here,
everybody!
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All right, we're gonna have
a fun, fun show for you tonight.
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Take a seat, take a seat.
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There are so many things
happening in the news.
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President Biden is killing it,
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Nancy Pelosi
is gonna get us all killed,
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and Donald Trump
has endorsed twins.
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So, let's do this, people.
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Let's jump straight
into today's headlines.
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-♪ ♪
-(cheering and applause)
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All right, before we get
into the big stories,
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let's catch up
on a few other things
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that are going on in the world.
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First up, a passenger
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on a flight from Bali
to Australia
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was fined more than $1,800
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for having two undeclared
Egg McMuffins in their luggage.
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And, honestly,
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I don't know if they'll be able
to pay for that.
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You know? No, 'cause, I mean,
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the type of person who saves
Egg McMuffins for later
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probably doesn't plan and has
$1,800 lying around for fines.
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You know what I mean?
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But, apparently,
Australia is-is very concerned
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about bringing in food
from Indonesia
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because there's an outbreak
of foot and mouth disease
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and that's why they're being
really strict.
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And when I saw this,
I was like, "Damn,
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"do you know
how poisonous you got to be
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to get banned from Australia?"
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Yeah. Their border patrol
is like, "Oh, a pet snake?
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"Come on through.
Killer spiders? Right this way.
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"Aah! Egg McMuffin!
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"Oh, that could hurt someone,
mate!
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That could really hurt someone!"
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Uh, in sports news,
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the head of the Saudi Arabian
golf tour revealed today
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that Tiger Woods turned down
a $700 million offer
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to play for their league.
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-Yeah. Turned it down.
-(murmuring, applause)
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-(cheering)
-Yeah. Kudos to Tiger Woods.
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That is--
that is really amazing.
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All these other golfers
just taking the money
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from Saudi Arabia, you know?
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But Tiger stood up.
He was like, "No."
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I-I would do the same thing.
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In fact, Saudi Arabia,
offer me that $700 million.
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Yeah, you'll see.
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Just put it in my bank account.
You'll see what I'll do.
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And the rest of you won't see me
again. You'll see. (chuckles)
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Oh, here's something
fascinating. Here's something.
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A major new study
of 72 million people has found
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that poor children
are much more likely
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to move up the economic ladder
if they have friends
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who are rich.
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Yeah. I know, which seems
kind of obvious, you know?
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I mean, I feel like they
didn't need to do a whole study.
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They could have just watched
Fresh Prince.
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But...
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still, now we know statistically
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that poor kids
do better with rich friends,
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which shows you
why it's so important
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to have different zoning
when it comes to housing,
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to have schools
that are integrated, you know?
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It gets people
on the same trajectory.
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I mean, on the downside,
it also means
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that you have some kids coming
back demanding weird snacks.
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You know? They're just like,
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"But, Daddy, Theodore has
prosciutto-wrapped melon balls!"
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Like, "Well, Theodore
sounds like a little bitch.
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Now eat your cheese stick."
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But, anyway, anyway...
(chuckles)
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let's move on
to the big news of the day,
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'cause there is a lot of it.
A lot of news.
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Starting with China,
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the original
build-the-wall country.
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Since Xi Jinping
rose to power in 2013,
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the communist regime
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has steadily been increasing
its influence around the world.
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Right? They've
been advancing into Africa.
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They've been claiming territory
in disputed waters.
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And, most importantly,
creating the perfect algorithm
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to get us all hooked
on pink sauce.
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But one thing
China wants more than anything
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is for the world to acknowledge
that they own Taiwan.
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Which is why they've gotten
super pissed off
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at where Nancy Pelosi
just booked her Expedia trip.
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House speaker Nancy Pelosi
has arrived in Taiwan.
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The speaker arriving
just, really, moments ago
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for a visit
which has been controversial
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and speculated about
for weeks now.
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She says that the congressional
delegation's visit
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is part
of the unwavering commitment
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to support
Taiwan's vibrant democracy.
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NEWSWOMAN: In the past few days,
China launching
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the most aggressive
military exercises in 25 years,
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accusing the U.S. of interfering
in its internal affairs.
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NEWSWOMAN 2: Chinese
President Xi Jinping warned
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President Biden
in a call last week
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about the U.S. meddling
in the contested territory,
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with Chinese officials
reportedly communicating...
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NEWSWOMAN: Two weeks ago,
President Biden had warned
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the U.S. military
did not want Pelosi to go.
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I think that...
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the military thinks
it's not a good idea right now.
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Yeah, I would agree.
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Now's not a great time
to start World War III.
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I mean, the world has
so many other things
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to deal with right now.
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All the drama on Love Island,
you know.
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I can't believe that
Ekin-Su ended up with Davide.
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Are you serious?
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And it's crazy that Pelosi
just ignored Biden like that.
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You know? Well, I mean,
I-I assume she ignored him.
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Maybe she just couldn't
understand him, you know.
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Yeah, he was like,
"Listen, Jack,
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"don't skedaddle over to the...
the Taiwanese, I mean...
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"Come on, man,
we need you here in America.
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You read me, skipper?"
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She's like, "You got it, Joe,
I'm on my way."
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"No!"
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So now, because Pelosi
has defied Chinese warnings
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not to visit Taiwan,
the Chinese government
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is conducting military exercises
in Taiwan's backyard.
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Yeah, which is
a scary escalation.
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But at the same time,
when you think about it,
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it's also kind of ridiculous
that countries do this.
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You know,
they fly their planes past,
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aim their guns,
but they don't shoot.
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It-It's scary
but it's also ridiculous.
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You know,
it's like threatening someone
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by standing outside their house,
just yelling,
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"You want to mess with me?
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Look at what I'm capable of."
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(grunting)
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"Imagine this is your face."
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(grunting)
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"Yeah, think
about what you did."
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But let's move on from the war
America may be about to start
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to the one
it is still trying to finish--
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the War on Terror.
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As you know, it started
on September 11, 2001
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when the Twin Towers were
destroyed by George W. Bush.
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No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
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-(groaning)
-I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
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It was Dick Cheney.
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-No, I'm-- no, no, I'm-- no.
-(applause)
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It was al-Qaeda,
it was al-Qaeda.
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And the plotters of the attack
included Osama bin Laden,
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Khalid Sheikh Mohammed,
and Ayman al-Zawahiri.
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And America swore revenge,
and over the next 20 years
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America killed Bin laden,
captured Sheikh Mohammed,
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invaded Afghanistan,
invaded Iraq,
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bombed Pakistan, Syria,
Yemen, Somalia, and Libya,
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deployed troops to Mali,
Kenya, and Nigeria,
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and completely obliterated
the big shampoo bottle industry.
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Only tiny bottles for you.
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But in that whole time,
the U.S. never managed
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to find Ayman al-Zawahiri
until yesterday.
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The U.S. has now killed
the world's top terror target.
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More than 20 years after 9/11,
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the hunt for Bin Laden's
number two is now over.
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NEWSWOMAN: He has been in hiding
for more than 20 years,
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one of the world's
most wanted terrorists.
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But tonight the United States
finally caught up
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with Ayman al-Zawahiri.
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Justice has been delivered,
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and this terrorist leader
is no more.
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NEWSMAN: Senior officials say
the U.S. government used
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an unmanned drone
and Hellfire missiles
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to target
the third floor balcony
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of a residential apartment
building in downtown Kabul.
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NEWSMAN 2: Experts say Hellfire
missiles do not explode.
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Instead, the missiles are
equipped with razor-like blades
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extending from the fuselage,
which slice through a target.
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MAN: So it will go through
and essentially vaporize
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a human body, but somebody
standing within feet
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of this person would
not be injured at all.
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NEWSMAN 2: The senior
administration officials
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saying authorities
spent months identifying
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Al-Zawahiri's patterns
to avoid civilian casualties.
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The strike was so precise
from a drone,
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it killed him on a balcony
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without harming any
family members in the building.
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Goddamn.
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America clipped the world's
most wanted terrorist
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off of his safe house balcony?
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I mean, also, at this point
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maybe we should stop
calling them safe houses.
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No, every terrorist gets killed
in a safe house.
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They should, they should call it
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a house that you think you're
safe in, but you never know.
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And what's crazy is that
America didn't just kill him.
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They killed him
with a razor blade missile,
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which I didn't even know
was a thing.
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-Did you?
-(audience shouts)
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I didn't know.
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Yeah, the weapons America has
sound like things
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that kids just make up
on the playground.
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"I'm shooting you
with a laser-guided missile
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00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,809
with razor blades
in a shark's body."
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00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:05,913
Meanwhile, the CIA is up in a
tree like, "With a shark's body.
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00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:07,314
"Did you get that, boys?
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We got
to go make one of those."
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Razor blade missiles?
That's especially genius
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because, like, if it hits,
you kill the target,
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but even if it misses him
by a little,
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he gets, like,
a really shitty haircut.
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(laughter)
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That's just as good.
No one's gonna be loyal
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to a guy with a bowl cut.
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I will say, though, I will say,
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you know,
when you see stories like this,
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when you see stories
about what America's capable of,
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this is where you realize
there's really no excuse
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for the amount of domestic
terrorism in America, right?
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-(applause)
-Because Zawahiri...
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Zawahiri lived
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all the way
in Afghanistan, right,
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in some random safe house
in the middle of nowhere,
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and America knew
what time of day
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he liked to go out
onto his balcony.
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But when a white supremacist
posts on Facebook
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that he's gonna murder everyone
and then buys an AR15,
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00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,533
everyone's like, "Oh, there was
no way to stop this, yeah.
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00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:02,302
Oh, if only
he liked balconies. Wah."
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00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:04,571
(laughter)
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00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:07,074
And I know some people
are saying, "Oh, who cares?
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00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:08,909
"America killed
Al Qaeda's leader,
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00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:10,511
"but Al Qaeda isn't even
in the game anymore.
245
00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:12,145
This is like taking out
Tom from Myspace."
246
00:10:12,246 --> 00:10:19,052
That's not the point. The
point is, America never forgets.
247
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:21,755
Unless it's slavery,
but everything else,
248
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:25,592
-America never forgets.
-(applause and cheering)
249
00:10:29,196 --> 00:10:31,131
You thought it was over.
250
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:33,133
America came back.
251
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,235
America's a kid who never stops
playing hide-and-seek
252
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,571
decades after the game is done.
253
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:39,573
Yeah, you're at a retirement
party giving a speech,
254
00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:42,576
and America pops up behind you
like, "I found you, bitch!"
255
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:44,578
-(laughter)
-"I'm with my grandkids."
256
00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:47,214
"Not anymore."
257
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:48,949
Still, though, this is like
one hell of a strike.
258
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:51,485
They got him with a missile.
I'm still stuck on this.
259
00:10:51,585 --> 00:10:54,755
-A missile filled with swords.
-(laughter)
260
00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:57,925
This is how I know I'm not cut
out for the war room and, like,
261
00:10:58,025 --> 00:10:59,626
all of the things you need
to do as commander in chief,
262
00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:01,895
all these... I-I know,
if I was in that room,
263
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:05,632
I would not have been able
to keep my cool in there.
264
00:11:05,732 --> 00:11:08,335
All right.
265
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:10,871
Target acquired, Mr. President.
266
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:14,274
They say contact
in three, two, one.
267
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,844
Oh, shit! Goddamn! Oh! Oh!
268
00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:18,912
Oh, did you see the swords? The
swords are coming out of there!
269
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:20,914
Oh, it's like Fruit Ninja!
Aah! Aah!
270
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:22,382
How are you watching this?
271
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:23,817
How's everybody
just watching this?
272
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,152
Oh, you're not even going
to flinch?
273
00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:26,653
Nobody's going to flinch?
Oh, I'm the only one.
274
00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:28,355
Oh, okay. You're acting
like you've all seen a missile
275
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:30,290
that has swords come out of it.
Okay, I'm the only one.
276
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:31,692
All right, you guys aren't even
moving here. You're not...
277
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:33,360
Did you see that shit?
You see that?
278
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:35,162
That shit was wild!
Wow. That was crazy.
279
00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:36,930
That missile just knew.
It can find anyone.
280
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,867
Wow. Even you, Kamala.
(stammering)
281
00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:41,468
I'm just playing,
but where are you hiding?
282
00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:43,770
Oh, I see you.
Oh, shit, that was crazy.
283
00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:45,973
(laughter,
applause and cheering)
284
00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:49,309
Oh, then finally...
285
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:52,546
Today was a big day
for the midterm primary season
286
00:11:52,646 --> 00:11:54,381
with a lot
of closely-watched races
287
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:57,017
that will tell us a lot
about the direction
288
00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:59,553
of the Republican Party.
You know?
289
00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:01,955
Will it be filled
with crazy extremists
290
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,724
who worship Donald Trump
like a god,
291
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:06,693
or will it be filled
with traditional conservatives
292
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:08,629
who worship Donald Trump
like a god?
293
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:11,665
And one race
that everyone is talking about
294
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:14,902
is the Republican Senate race
in Missouri.
295
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,070
And the reason
it's getting so much attention
296
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:19,072
is because Donald Trump decided
297
00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:23,610
to give one of the weirdest
endorsements of all time.
298
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:25,679
NEWSWOMAN:
It is primary day in America.
299
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:27,681
Former President Trump
hedging his bets
300
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:31,418
in a Missouri Senate race,
simply endorsing "Eric,"
301
00:12:31,518 --> 00:12:33,987
a first name shared by
two rival Republican candidates.
302
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,956
NEWSWOMAN 2: Trump has triggered
confusion in Missouri
303
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,592
after endorsing "Eric"
in the state primary
304
00:12:38,692 --> 00:12:40,627
without providing a last name.
305
00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:42,396
There are two Erics
in the race.
306
00:12:42,496 --> 00:12:45,098
Both Eric Greitens-- who's been
accused of abuse and blackmail--
307
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:47,968
and Eric Schmitt--
the current attorney general--
308
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,103
have claimed the endorsement
as their own.
309
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:52,105
NEWSMAN:
Now both Erics are saying
310
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:54,374
the former president
is supporting them.
311
00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:55,976
Each posted a statement online
312
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,744
thanking Trump
for his endorsement.
313
00:12:57,845 --> 00:13:01,048
A source close to the former
president told NBC News,
314
00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:03,183
leaving off the last name
of the "Eric"
315
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,119
he was endorsing
was intentional, saying,
316
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:08,355
it was an "epic troll."
317
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:12,292
Just when you think you've seen
it all from Donald Trump,
318
00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:13,894
he does something like this.
319
00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:15,329
There are two Erics running
320
00:13:15,429 --> 00:13:16,830
against each other
in the primary,
321
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:19,900
and Trump put out a statement
endorsing "Eric."
322
00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:23,737
-(laughter)
-Just Eric.
323
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:27,107
He could be supporting
any Eric in the world.
324
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:30,177
Well, not any Eric,
but you know what I mean.
325
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:31,712
-(audience groaning)
-You know?
326
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:34,114
-I'm not his father.
-(laughter)
327
00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:35,816
To me, the best part
of the story is
328
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,951
that before
he made the announcement,
329
00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:40,687
Trump called Eric Schmitt
and told him
330
00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:42,256
that he was getting
the endorsement.
331
00:13:42,356 --> 00:13:44,291
Then he called Eric Greitens
332
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:47,427
and told him
he was getting the endorsement.
333
00:13:47,528 --> 00:13:50,664
-(laughter) -But he didn't
mention to either of them
334
00:13:50,764 --> 00:13:52,566
that he was endorsing
both of them.
335
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:54,701
Yeah. What an asshole.
336
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,638
Turns out the dude
even brings infidelity
337
00:13:57,738 --> 00:13:59,506
into his endorsements,
you know?
338
00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:02,809
He's the first politician
to have a side Eric.
339
00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:04,878
"You're only Eric for me, Eric.
340
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:06,413
"Don't listen
to those other Erics,
341
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:07,748
they're just jealous."
342
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:09,183
All right, that's it
for the headlines,
343
00:14:09,283 --> 00:14:10,584
but before we go to a break,
it's time to check in
344
00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:11,952
on all the latest
social media trends
345
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:13,620
with our very own
Ronny Chieng, everybody.
346
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,756
(cheering, applause)
347
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:24,398
so good to see you, Ronny.
348
00:14:24,498 --> 00:14:27,067
So, uh, what's happening
online? What's trending?
349
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,703
(sighs)
Another day in hell, Trevor.
350
00:14:29,803 --> 00:14:33,073
I guess what's trending today
is what, what is it today?
351
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:35,409
Oh, Tuesday vibes.
352
00:14:35,509 --> 00:14:37,611
Whatever that means.
353
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:39,813
Hey, when you have
a PhD in stupid
354
00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:42,149
maybe you can
explain it to me, okay?
355
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:43,317
'Cause as far
as I'm concerned,
356
00:14:43,417 --> 00:14:46,420
every day on the Internet
is #StupidVibes.
357
00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:49,156
Eve-even you, Trevor,
participating in this.
358
00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:52,326
What is this? Trevor Noah:
"Three days till the weekend.
359
00:14:52,426 --> 00:14:57,097
Prayer emoji."
360
00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:59,900
Oh, prayer hands.
Oh, prayer-prayer hands.
361
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,735
Even if God heard you
he'd be like,
362
00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:03,937
"What am I supposed
to do with this?"
363
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:05,572
In fact, I'm gonna start
a new Internet challenge
364
00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:07,274
right now. Yeah.
It's called
365
00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:10,177
the "smash a phone against
your face challenge," all right?
366
00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:11,612
What you do is you
take your own phone
367
00:15:11,712 --> 00:15:13,680
and then you smash it
on your face!
368
00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:16,049
Ronny, Ronny, Ronny,
okay, Ronny. Ronny.
369
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:17,618
First of all, I don't know why
you keep going after
370
00:15:17,718 --> 00:15:20,354
my social media posts. Secondly,
if you hate the Internet,
371
00:15:20,454 --> 00:15:22,956
you realize you don't
have to do this segment, right?
372
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,424
Wait, wait, what-what are you
talking about?
373
00:15:24,525 --> 00:15:26,527
I-I live for this shit.
374
00:15:26,627 --> 00:15:28,929
Yes. And-- oh, oh--
375
00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:31,665
and-and by the way,
376
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,834
by the way, that guy--
that guy who got a fine,
377
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:37,104
uh, for bringing McDonald's
McMuffins into Australia--
378
00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:39,773
yo, that punishment
wasn't harsh enough. Okay?
379
00:15:39,873 --> 00:15:41,408
They should have given him
the death penalty.
380
00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:42,576
-What?
-Okay?
381
00:15:42,676 --> 00:15:44,878
What kind of idiot
brings McDonald's
382
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:46,680
to another country?
383
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:49,816
Every country
has McDonald's, okay?
384
00:15:49,917 --> 00:15:52,386
There's McDonald's
in every airport.
385
00:15:52,486 --> 00:15:56,089
In fact--
yo, most airports now
386
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:57,791
are just a McDonald's.
387
00:15:57,891 --> 00:16:01,295
It's like we're just flying
from McDonald's to McDonald's.
388
00:16:01,395 --> 00:16:03,163
And he smuggled it
in his luggage?
389
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:07,067
Yo, smuggle it up your ass
like a professional, okay?
390
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:09,736
Oh, oh, oh, an-- oh, yeah,
oh, yeah, yeah, Tiger Woods--
391
00:16:09,837 --> 00:16:11,438
and Tiger-- oh, Tiger Woods
didn't take the money
392
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,874
-From the Saudi golf,
uh, whatever? -Yeah.
393
00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:16,743
Yo, Tiger, Asian to Asian--
yo, take the money.
394
00:16:16,844 --> 00:16:19,446
Take the money.
I'm telling you, take it.
395
00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:21,748
I-I always take the money
396
00:16:21,849 --> 00:16:23,951
from the worst people
in the world, okay?
397
00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:27,054
Because what better way
to punish evildoers
398
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,256
than to take their money?
399
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:30,791
Yeah! Take their money.
400
00:16:30,891 --> 00:16:32,726
-I take everyone's money.
-No-- wait, no. What?
401
00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:36,129
Oil companies, big tobacco,
ISIS, Comedy Central--
402
00:16:36,230 --> 00:16:39,399
if I don't take the money,
403
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,269
bad people will just
have more money, all right?
404
00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:44,071
In fact, in fact, next week,
405
00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:46,073
I got asked to judge an episode
406
00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:48,442
of The Masked Singer
in North Korea and, you know,
407
00:16:48,542 --> 00:16:49,743
you should come with me, Trevor.
408
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:52,079
-You should-- They really
want you. -No. No, Ronny.
409
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:54,982
I told you I am not
going to North Korea, Ronny.
410
00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:56,483
Oh, okay, so, what--
411
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,785
you just want a dictator
to keep all his blood money?
412
00:16:58,886 --> 00:17:00,354
You're basically funding
terrorism at this point.
413
00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:01,788
No, I'm not!
What are you talking about?
414
00:17:01,889 --> 00:17:04,825
Also, also, everyone, get off
Nancy Pelosi's back, okay?
415
00:17:04,925 --> 00:17:06,426
All this, "Oh, she's
causing World War III.
416
00:17:06,527 --> 00:17:09,429
Ugh, World War III."
Good, we need World War III.
417
00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:11,532
Ronny, how you can say that?
418
00:17:11,632 --> 00:17:13,700
Easily, Trevor.
We need World War III
419
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,869
to complete the trilogy, okay?
420
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:19,406
What if-- what if--
421
00:17:20,674 --> 00:17:24,044
what if Lord of the Rings
ended at number two?
422
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:26,180
We'd be like,
"Yo, are these guys gay or not?"
423
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:27,648
We'd never know, all right?
424
00:17:27,748 --> 00:17:30,450
Also, aren't you sick of
all these World War II movies?
425
00:17:30,551 --> 00:17:33,253
Like, we need something new.
We need some fresh ideas here.
426
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:35,122
China versus America.
427
00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:38,192
Tons of roles for Asian actors.
Yeah.
428
00:17:38,292 --> 00:17:40,527
Yo, actors who can
do everything.
429
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:42,896
Actors who can do intense!
(growls)
430
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:45,933
Or s-sad. (cries)
431
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,734
Or happy! Yay!
432
00:17:47,835 --> 00:17:49,970
If you cared about
Asian representation, Trevor,
433
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:51,805
you would support
World War III.
434
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:55,742
Anyway, that's what's trending.
So, uh, #TuesdayVibes.
435
00:17:55,843 --> 00:17:59,146
-Ronny Chieng, everybody.
-(cheering, applause)
436
00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:01,081
No World War III.
All right, when we come back,
437
00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:02,716
we're gonna be chatting
to a civil rights lawyer
438
00:18:02,816 --> 00:18:05,285
who tells us why public safety
doesn't mean more cops,
439
00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:07,521
so don't go away.
440
00:18:07,621 --> 00:18:09,656
(cheering, applause)
441
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:19,899
(cheering and applause)
442
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:28,241
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
443
00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:30,276
My first guest
is an award-winning
444
00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:33,079
civil rights lawyer and founder
of Civil Rights Corps.
445
00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:34,680
He's here to talk about his work
446
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,682
challenging
the money bail system;
447
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,918
holding prosecutors, judges,
and police accountable;
448
00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:41,854
and finding a nonpunitive
approach to public safety.
449
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,923
Please welcome
Alec Karakatsanis.
450
00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:45,491
-(cheering and applause)
-How are you?
451
00:18:45,591 --> 00:18:46,759
-Thank you for having me.
-Thank you so much.
452
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,761
Welcome to the show.
453
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,963
You-you have a really
interesting story, Alec,
454
00:18:51,064 --> 00:18:53,733
because, you know, y-you worked
as a public defender.
455
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,701
You've worked in the
justice system for a long time.
456
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:56,969
You're part
of many organizations
457
00:18:57,070 --> 00:18:59,038
that fight for people
who are incarcerated,
458
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,506
unjustly or in a way
459
00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:02,708
where they-they can never find
their way out of the system,
460
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,811
which is unjust
in-in a different way.
461
00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:07,313
Um, but a lot of your notoriety
462
00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:08,848
has come
from your Twitter threads,
463
00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:10,750
in how you break down the world,
464
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:12,685
the way we see policing
in the country,
465
00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:15,188
and the way even liberal
organizations, funny enough,
466
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,255
are part of the problem.
467
00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:18,324
So let-let's start
with that part.
468
00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:21,828
You know? What made you decide
to not be looking at Fox News,
469
00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:24,630
not be looking at, you know,
right-wing outlets
470
00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:26,599
but rather say,
"No, New York Times,
471
00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:28,601
"L.A. Times, Washington Post,
472
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:33,072
you need to change the way you
talk about policing in America"?
473
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:36,743
I began this work because
I care so deeply about safety.
474
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:37,977
Everyone's safety.
475
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:39,746
I care about violence
in our communities.
476
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,380
And as I was going
around the country
477
00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:42,582
fighting these injustices--
478
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,851
the cash bail system,
police abuse--
479
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:47,153
all over the country,
we were running into obstacles.
480
00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:50,289
And one of the main obstacles
was this status quo approach
481
00:19:50,389 --> 00:19:51,891
that many progressive people
have.
482
00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:53,359
And it's not their fault,
really, right?
483
00:19:53,459 --> 00:19:55,361
We're bombarded constantly
in the media
484
00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:57,029
-with what we call cop-aganda.
-Mm-hmm.
485
00:19:57,130 --> 00:19:59,799
And cop-aganda has, really,
I think, three main functions.
486
00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:02,001
The first function of cop-aganda
487
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:04,470
is to narrow our conception
of what safety means.
488
00:20:04,570 --> 00:20:06,172
We're constantly being told
489
00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:07,774
that there's all
of these threats around us,
490
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:10,042
but the threats
that the media and the police
491
00:20:10,143 --> 00:20:12,745
and certain large corporations
want us to be focused on
492
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:15,248
are not the things that actually
most determine our safety.
493
00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:17,950
So, for example, you've seen
all over the country,
494
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,853
um, uh, con-conversations
about retail theft,
495
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:22,588
-um, or a wave of crime, right?
-Yeah.
496
00:20:22,688 --> 00:20:25,958
What you don't hear is about
the epidemic of wage theft.
497
00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:30,129
-Wage theft costs $50 billion
every single year. -(applause)
498
00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:34,167
Wage theft alone
is about five times the value
499
00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:38,504
of all robbery, burglary,
larceny, shoplifting combined.
500
00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:40,073
And why are we not hearing
about it?
501
00:20:40,173 --> 00:20:41,340
And I think it's because
502
00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:43,276
you have
this "law enforcement" system--
503
00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:45,278
I use that system in quotes
because police want us
504
00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:46,446
to call them law enforcement,
505
00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:49,115
but, in reality,
they only enforce some laws
506
00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:51,250
against some people
some of the time.
507
00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:54,253
So, so let's,
let's-let's talk about that.
508
00:20:54,353 --> 00:20:55,655
(applause)
509
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:58,791
That, you know,
th-there's a disconnect,
510
00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:01,260
it feels like sometimes,
in the conversations we have
511
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:04,363
in America
because, on the one hand,
512
00:21:04,464 --> 00:21:08,134
many people will agree that
law enforcement needs overwatch.
513
00:21:08,234 --> 00:21:11,204
You know, many people agree
that law enforcement, um,
514
00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:14,841
that isn't in some way regulated
by-by an outside body
515
00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:16,409
will run rampant.
516
00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:17,710
But at the same time,
there are many communities
517
00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:19,145
who will still say,
518
00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:22,048
"Yes, but we-we still need
some form of law enforcement.
519
00:21:22,148 --> 00:21:24,283
"We need some form of justice.
520
00:21:24,383 --> 00:21:25,685
We need some form
of protection."
521
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:27,220
And this is something
that almost goes
522
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,022
beyond law enforcement as we
know it in the world today.
523
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:33,092
So, so what is an argument
for a better world
524
00:21:33,192 --> 00:21:35,962
that, that doesn't subscribe to
the notions of how people think
525
00:21:36,062 --> 00:21:37,397
law enforcement
needs to exist now?
526
00:21:37,497 --> 00:21:38,598
Let's just start with some
527
00:21:38,698 --> 00:21:40,533
of the very basic facts
that we know.
528
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:43,436
If we care about safety,
we care about harm,
529
00:21:43,536 --> 00:21:46,239
the number one thing
we need to do is address
530
00:21:46,339 --> 00:21:48,107
the actual root causes
531
00:21:48,207 --> 00:21:50,510
of violence and harm
in our society.
532
00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:53,646
The actual root causes of harm
in our society
533
00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:56,015
are not the fact that we're
not policed enough, right?
534
00:21:56,115 --> 00:21:58,251
We have the most police
of any society,
535
00:21:58,351 --> 00:21:59,852
we have the most prisons,
prosecutions,
536
00:21:59,986 --> 00:22:01,888
courts, judges,
probation, parole.
537
00:22:01,988 --> 00:22:04,290
If probation, parole,
prosecutors, judges,
538
00:22:04,390 --> 00:22:06,325
and courts-- if money spent
on that made us safe,
539
00:22:06,426 --> 00:22:08,995
we would have the safest society
in the history of the world.
540
00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:11,197
-We don't.
-(applause)
541
00:22:11,297 --> 00:22:14,333
What actually matters,
what actually matters
542
00:22:14,434 --> 00:22:17,804
for our safety is investing
in things like reducing poverty.
543
00:22:17,937 --> 00:22:19,739
-Right. -Like safe,
permanent supportive housing.
544
00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:21,941
-Right.
-Health care, public health.
545
00:22:22,041 --> 00:22:23,943
I completely, I completely agree
with you on that.
546
00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:26,045
You know,
I-I'm a firm believer in that.
547
00:22:26,145 --> 00:22:29,015
Uh, I think it's the, you know,
the cause versus the symptom.
548
00:22:29,115 --> 00:22:31,417
Th-Th-There is
a confusing element
549
00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:33,953
that-that I think
often gets overlooked,
550
00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:35,321
and it's the transition.
551
00:22:35,421 --> 00:22:37,957
You know, I-I see it when
people talk about electric cars,
552
00:22:38,024 --> 00:22:40,159
I see it when people talk
about policing,
553
00:22:40,259 --> 00:22:42,695
and-and it's the unfortunate
truth that there is always going
554
00:22:42,795 --> 00:22:45,164
to be a transition
from one system to another.
555
00:22:45,264 --> 00:22:47,366
Unless there is a revolution
that happens overnight,
556
00:22:47,467 --> 00:22:48,768
there needs to be a transition.
557
00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:50,603
What do you propose
for the transition in between?
558
00:22:50,703 --> 00:22:52,405
Because we do have police now.
559
00:22:52,505 --> 00:22:54,440
There are unions
that are very powerful,
560
00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:57,310
that even the police say, "Hey,
w-we, we can't say anything.
561
00:22:57,410 --> 00:22:59,378
The union is controlling
how this is doled out."
562
00:22:59,479 --> 00:23:01,114
So, what do you do
for the interim?
563
00:23:01,214 --> 00:23:03,483
'Cause I think we can-- you
and I will agree on all of that.
564
00:23:03,583 --> 00:23:04,984
You know, those are
long-term solutions,
565
00:23:05,084 --> 00:23:07,153
but in the, in the, in the short
term what do you think we can do
566
00:23:07,253 --> 00:23:10,156
to keep people safe
and also find a way
567
00:23:10,256 --> 00:23:11,791
to move the system over?
568
00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:14,260
The good thing is
that we know exactly what works
569
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:15,528
and we have a lot of evidence.
570
00:23:15,628 --> 00:23:17,263
So anyone who tells you
that the solution,
571
00:23:17,363 --> 00:23:18,731
even in the short
or medium term,
572
00:23:18,831 --> 00:23:20,066
is more funding for police,
573
00:23:20,166 --> 00:23:21,734
that's like
climate science denial.
574
00:23:21,834 --> 00:23:24,003
There's overwhelming research
that the programs
575
00:23:24,103 --> 00:23:25,571
-that already exist--
-Mm-hmm.
576
00:23:25,671 --> 00:23:27,206
um, permanent
supportive housing,
577
00:23:27,306 --> 00:23:30,009
safe consumption sites,
violence interruption,
578
00:23:30,109 --> 00:23:31,477
restorative justice,
579
00:23:31,577 --> 00:23:34,147
investing in safe places
for communities to gather,
580
00:23:34,247 --> 00:23:36,182
or at school,
music theatre programs,
581
00:23:36,282 --> 00:23:38,284
early childhood education--
all of these things work,
582
00:23:38,384 --> 00:23:39,952
and they work quickly.
583
00:23:40,019 --> 00:23:43,089
-The problem is we don't have
the political power. -(applause)
584
00:23:43,189 --> 00:23:45,591
-Right. -Often what happens is,
we identify,
585
00:23:45,691 --> 00:23:47,693
like, in our work,
these enormous injustices.
586
00:23:47,794 --> 00:23:50,296
Like, there are 500,000
human beings in cages
587
00:23:50,396 --> 00:23:51,764
right now this country
588
00:23:51,864 --> 00:23:53,666
because they can't afford
to pay cash to get out.
589
00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:56,402
Right? We identify that
injustice, and what happens?
590
00:23:56,502 --> 00:23:58,037
A lot of prominent
establishment liberals--
591
00:23:58,137 --> 00:23:59,705
they propose a reform.
592
00:23:59,806 --> 00:24:02,442
But the reforms that are being
proposed are backed
593
00:24:02,542 --> 00:24:06,245
by those same interests that
created the current problem.
594
00:24:06,345 --> 00:24:07,713
And so, we're constantly
being hit with short
595
00:24:07,814 --> 00:24:10,283
-and medium-term solutions
that are reforms... -Mm-hmm.
596
00:24:10,383 --> 00:24:11,884
that actually
exacerbate the problem.
597
00:24:11,984 --> 00:24:14,654
Let me give you an example.
Take the bail system.
598
00:24:14,754 --> 00:24:16,789
If you care about
the presumption of innocence,
599
00:24:16,923 --> 00:24:19,192
about people being taken away
from their children
600
00:24:19,292 --> 00:24:20,960
-because they can't make
a monetary payment-- -Right.
601
00:24:21,060 --> 00:24:22,528
like, millions of children
are separated from their parents
602
00:24:22,628 --> 00:24:25,932
every single year--
you want to fix this problem.
603
00:24:25,998 --> 00:24:27,300
So enter
the establishment Democrats.
604
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,335
What do they do
in most of these cities?
605
00:24:29,435 --> 00:24:31,437
They're trying
to replace the cash bail system
606
00:24:31,537 --> 00:24:33,840
with privatized, for-profit,
electronic monitoring,
607
00:24:33,940 --> 00:24:35,475
electronic incarceration.
608
00:24:35,575 --> 00:24:37,110
This is enormously profitable.
609
00:24:37,210 --> 00:24:38,544
There are billions of dollars
to be made
610
00:24:38,644 --> 00:24:41,280
with private corporations
who want to convert our system
611
00:24:41,380 --> 00:24:42,749
-of mass incarceration...
-Right.
612
00:24:42,849 --> 00:24:44,217
...to a system
of mass electronic detention.
613
00:24:44,317 --> 00:24:47,620
I-I... As I say,
I've always admired the fact
614
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:49,956
that you almost have
a "start at home" approach.
615
00:24:50,056 --> 00:24:52,458
You know, you aren't
spending your time fighting
616
00:24:52,558 --> 00:24:53,960
with conservatives
or Republicans
617
00:24:54,060 --> 00:24:56,496
who believe in that system.
You're challenging liberals,
618
00:24:56,596 --> 00:24:58,965
you're challenging progressives,
you're challenging Democrats
619
00:24:59,065 --> 00:25:01,467
who claim this to actually
follow through on it.
620
00:25:01,567 --> 00:25:04,137
So, my question
to you would then be,
621
00:25:04,237 --> 00:25:06,172
for-for...
for the media specifically,
622
00:25:06,272 --> 00:25:08,841
who you have a, you know,
a targeted focus on,
623
00:25:08,975 --> 00:25:10,810
you know, for the newspapers
for the publications,
624
00:25:10,977 --> 00:25:13,146
what do you think is a change
that they could make overnight?
625
00:25:13,246 --> 00:25:14,981
Because they're the...
That's completely in-house.
626
00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:16,983
What is something
they could do right now
627
00:25:17,083 --> 00:25:19,152
that could present
a clearer vision
628
00:25:19,252 --> 00:25:20,553
of where America should be?
629
00:25:20,653 --> 00:25:21,988
I think there are a few things.
630
00:25:22,088 --> 00:25:24,590
Number one-- as I wrote
in my newsletter recently,
631
00:25:24,690 --> 00:25:26,926
cover the things
that are most threatening
632
00:25:26,993 --> 00:25:28,528
to our health and safety.
633
00:25:28,628 --> 00:25:32,098
-Cover the 100,000...
-(applause)
634
00:25:32,198 --> 00:25:35,435
Cover the 100,000 violations
of the Clean Water Act
635
00:25:35,535 --> 00:25:36,936
every year
that are killing children,
636
00:25:36,969 --> 00:25:38,271
that are killing families.
637
00:25:38,371 --> 00:25:40,039
Did you know that...
638
00:25:40,139 --> 00:25:43,409
there are 100,000 deaths
in the U.S. alone,
639
00:25:43,509 --> 00:25:46,612
and ten million across the
globe, because of air pollution?
640
00:25:46,712 --> 00:25:49,248
That is five times the number
of homicides in the U.S. alone.
641
00:25:49,348 --> 00:25:52,051
Did you know how many people--
tens of thousands--
642
00:25:52,151 --> 00:25:54,620
die from eviction and-and, uh,
643
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,223
predatory lending practices
that put people into poverty?
644
00:25:57,323 --> 00:25:59,092
Um, these are solvable problems.
645
00:25:59,192 --> 00:26:01,861
We know how to solve them,
but the people in this country
646
00:26:01,961 --> 00:26:03,396
don't treat them urgently.
647
00:26:03,496 --> 00:26:05,665
And the reason is because
the volume of news stories,
648
00:26:05,765 --> 00:26:07,500
the sheer volume,
every single day,
649
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:09,469
it's about shoplifting,
it's about this isolated crime,
650
00:26:09,569 --> 00:26:10,970
it's about that isolated crime.
651
00:26:11,037 --> 00:26:13,473
And we're not talking about
the threats to our existence,
652
00:26:13,573 --> 00:26:16,109
like the rise of fascism.
Or, for example, um,
653
00:26:16,209 --> 00:26:18,211
the growing right-wing threat
in this country
654
00:26:18,311 --> 00:26:19,679
to reproductive health.
Did you un--
655
00:26:19,779 --> 00:26:22,548
did you realize that, um--
656
00:26:22,648 --> 00:26:26,452
When-- You know,
I've been looking and studying
657
00:26:26,552 --> 00:26:28,287
very carefully
how the media is covering
658
00:26:28,387 --> 00:26:31,624
-Joe Biden's current request
for 100,000 new cops. -Mm-hmm.
659
00:26:31,724 --> 00:26:34,360
When I see liberal Democrats
all over the country,
660
00:26:34,460 --> 00:26:36,629
both in newsrooms
and in politics, um,
661
00:26:36,729 --> 00:26:39,332
talking about that
"This isn't a big deal,
662
00:26:39,432 --> 00:26:41,934
and we need to pass 100 cops"
just to have a little bit
663
00:26:42,001 --> 00:26:43,936
of talking points and success
for the midterms.
664
00:26:44,036 --> 00:26:46,773
Understand this:
voters who care about that
665
00:26:46,939 --> 00:26:50,676
and what a right-wing fascist
force taking over our society
666
00:26:50,777 --> 00:26:52,645
are gonna vote for
the Republicans anyway.
667
00:26:52,745 --> 00:26:55,448
Um, people who care about
building and investing
668
00:26:55,548 --> 00:26:57,283
in communities are looking
for leadership
669
00:26:57,383 --> 00:26:59,285
on things that
we actually know work.
670
00:26:59,385 --> 00:27:01,988
Like better schools,
early childhood education,
671
00:27:02,088 --> 00:27:04,357
programs in communities
run by the people
672
00:27:04,457 --> 00:27:05,958
who are most impacted
by these problems.
673
00:27:06,025 --> 00:27:08,594
I will say this, though--
674
00:27:08,694 --> 00:27:11,697
Be-Before I let you go,
and I know I got to let you go.
675
00:27:11,798 --> 00:27:13,066
I-I will say this, though,
676
00:27:13,166 --> 00:27:16,002
this is where I will
disagree with you slightly.
677
00:27:17,236 --> 00:27:20,173
Th-- Time and time again,
you'll find when you actually
678
00:27:20,273 --> 00:27:23,509
look at voting blocs,
people do not have access
679
00:27:23,609 --> 00:27:25,978
to that information, and so
they do not vote accordingly.
680
00:27:26,079 --> 00:27:27,914
People will say, "You know what?
681
00:27:27,980 --> 00:27:30,049
"I just want crime in
my neighborhood to go down.
682
00:27:30,149 --> 00:27:33,019
"I feel like the Democrats
are not serious about crime.
683
00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:36,389
"I feel like, you know, we need
better cops or more cops.
684
00:27:36,489 --> 00:27:38,791
I feel like--" because they
maybe don't have the information
685
00:27:38,925 --> 00:27:41,461
or they-they haven't been given
any possible solution
686
00:27:41,561 --> 00:27:43,496
that isn't policing.
And so I think
687
00:27:43,596 --> 00:27:45,398
there's a difficult disconnect
that may go back to,
688
00:27:45,498 --> 00:27:47,066
if they read about it,
if they see it,
689
00:27:47,166 --> 00:27:48,634
they would, uh, think about it
as a possibility.
690
00:27:48,735 --> 00:27:51,070
So, uh, Alec, thank you so much
for joining me on the show.
691
00:27:51,170 --> 00:27:53,172
-Thank you for having me.
-Thank you for your time.
692
00:27:53,272 --> 00:27:55,575
-And, uh, hopefully we'll chat
again. -(cheering, applause)
693
00:27:55,675 --> 00:27:58,611
Alec's book, Usual Cruelty,
is available now,
694
00:27:58,711 --> 00:28:01,047
and you can sign up for his
Copaganda Newsletter
695
00:28:01,147 --> 00:28:02,782
for free on Substack.
All right, stay tuned,
696
00:28:02,949 --> 00:28:04,450
because when we come back,
the hilarious Ms. Pat
697
00:28:04,550 --> 00:28:06,586
will be joining me on the show.
Don't go away.
698
00:28:06,686 --> 00:28:08,721
-Thank you, again.
-(cheering, applause)
699
00:28:11,457 --> 00:28:13,492
(cheering and applause)
700
00:28:16,061 --> 00:28:17,229
Welcome back to The Daily Show!
701
00:28:17,329 --> 00:28:19,631
My guest tonight
is a very funny comedian
702
00:28:19,732 --> 00:28:22,201
who's here to talk
about her hit BET+ series
703
00:28:22,301 --> 00:28:24,103
The Ms. Pat Show.
704
00:28:24,203 --> 00:28:26,271
I'm gonna miss you calling me
four times a year
705
00:28:26,372 --> 00:28:27,873
to pay your phone bill.
706
00:28:28,841 --> 00:28:30,743
I know you loved us,
707
00:28:30,843 --> 00:28:32,745
and I love you, too.
708
00:28:34,146 --> 00:28:36,215
And I know you did your best,
709
00:28:36,315 --> 00:28:38,817
but your best
wasn't always good enough.
710
00:28:40,753 --> 00:28:42,588
Rest easy, Mom.
711
00:28:46,625 --> 00:28:48,193
♪ ♪
712
00:28:48,293 --> 00:28:50,596
What the (bleep)
is that supposed to mean?
713
00:28:50,696 --> 00:28:53,265
(cheering and applause)
714
00:28:53,365 --> 00:28:55,300
Please welcome Ms. Pat!
715
00:28:55,401 --> 00:28:57,436
-♪ ♪
-(cheering and applause)
716
00:29:01,006 --> 00:29:03,375
Welcome, welcome, welcome,
welcome, welcome.
717
00:29:09,214 --> 00:29:10,716
Ms. Pat,
welcome to The Daily Show.
718
00:29:10,816 --> 00:29:12,051
Thank you for having me.
719
00:29:12,151 --> 00:29:13,385
I've been trying to get here
for years.
720
00:29:13,552 --> 00:29:14,787
-I made it.
-You made it?
721
00:29:14,887 --> 00:29:16,355
What do you mean you made it?
I feel like I made it,
722
00:29:16,455 --> 00:29:17,556
-talking to you.
-(cheering and applause)
723
00:29:17,589 --> 00:29:19,591
First things first,
congratulations.
724
00:29:19,692 --> 00:29:22,194
You know, it is so rare
for a new show to come out
725
00:29:22,294 --> 00:29:23,729
in this, like, flooded market
726
00:29:23,829 --> 00:29:25,264
and get the recognition
that yours has.
727
00:29:25,364 --> 00:29:27,466
Congratulations on the Emmy
nomination for your show.
728
00:29:27,566 --> 00:29:29,568
-Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. -Best Directing.
729
00:29:29,668 --> 00:29:31,904
-(cheering and applause)
-It...
730
00:29:32,004 --> 00:29:34,373
I-I don't know how to explain
your show to people.
731
00:29:34,473 --> 00:29:35,774
I go, "It's hilarious.
732
00:29:35,874 --> 00:29:37,309
"It is also engaging.
733
00:29:37,409 --> 00:29:40,112
It-it feels like a sitcom
but for grown folk."
734
00:29:40,212 --> 00:29:42,581
Like, if you told me, if you
pitched to me and you said,
735
00:29:42,681 --> 00:29:45,084
"I'm gonna make a show
that's about, um,
736
00:29:45,184 --> 00:29:47,086
"a life of selling crack,
737
00:29:47,186 --> 00:29:49,755
"formerly selling crack
and sexual assault
738
00:29:49,855 --> 00:29:52,591
"and also struggling
as a single mother
739
00:29:52,691 --> 00:29:53,726
and it's all gonna be funny,"
740
00:29:53,826 --> 00:29:54,860
I'd be like,
"That's impossible."
741
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:56,729
But you did it.
I'd love to know how.
742
00:29:56,829 --> 00:29:59,131
How did you-- how did you think,
"I can make all of this funny"?
743
00:29:59,231 --> 00:30:01,967
Well, I mean, the show was
in the works for five years
744
00:30:02,067 --> 00:30:04,403
with Lee Daniels and
we went through three writers
745
00:30:04,503 --> 00:30:07,039
and he found somebody
that can catch my voice.
746
00:30:07,139 --> 00:30:09,341
And you know, I'm a comedian.
You know, he came up.
747
00:30:09,441 --> 00:30:11,543
He was like, "Hey, Jordan E.
Cooper is my co-creator."
748
00:30:11,610 --> 00:30:14,013
He was like, "Oh, we're going
to do a cussing sitcom."
749
00:30:14,113 --> 00:30:16,382
And I'm like, "A cussing sitcom?
I can curse?"
750
00:30:16,548 --> 00:30:18,951
And he was like,
"I think that'll be great,"
751
00:30:19,051 --> 00:30:21,053
because I curse
in my real-day life, you know?
752
00:30:21,153 --> 00:30:23,055
I curse every day.
Let him tell it.
753
00:30:23,155 --> 00:30:26,859
-Uh, I'm saved on Saturdays,
but... -(laughter)
754
00:30:26,959 --> 00:30:28,894
'Cause I don't want to go
to church on Sunday.
755
00:30:28,994 --> 00:30:32,698
-You have to tithe.
But... we took... -(laughter)
756
00:30:32,798 --> 00:30:34,800
You know, what was great
about this show was,
757
00:30:34,900 --> 00:30:36,702
we took everything
that I've been through,
758
00:30:36,802 --> 00:30:38,170
and we threw it in with comedy
759
00:30:38,270 --> 00:30:40,272
'cause that's what I do
with my real-life stand-up.
760
00:30:40,372 --> 00:30:42,808
I take the darkest things,
and I try to find the funny,
761
00:30:42,908 --> 00:30:44,176
and then I tell people,
762
00:30:44,276 --> 00:30:47,279
"You can't change the past
so why cry about it?"
763
00:30:47,379 --> 00:30:50,249
So I took child molestation,
and I made it funny.
764
00:30:50,349 --> 00:30:52,251
I took getting shot in the back
of the head and made it funny.
765
00:30:52,351 --> 00:30:53,786
Yeah, you see, the audience
right now is going like,
766
00:30:53,886 --> 00:30:56,021
-"Wait. What?"
I could feel you... -(laughter)
767
00:30:56,121 --> 00:30:58,657
But that is exactly
what you do is, you use...
768
00:30:58,757 --> 00:31:00,359
And I mean, as comedians,
we understand this,
769
00:31:00,459 --> 00:31:02,995
but it's so rare to be able to
translate that to an audience.
770
00:31:03,095 --> 00:31:04,897
You know, you...
It feels authentic.
771
00:31:04,997 --> 00:31:06,832
You don't minimize
the experiences.
772
00:31:06,932 --> 00:31:10,636
And every single episode
of the show
773
00:31:10,736 --> 00:31:12,971
brings you into a world that
you may not be familiar with,
774
00:31:13,072 --> 00:31:15,240
but it makes you
understand people.
775
00:31:15,341 --> 00:31:17,142
You know, that's what
I feel like your show does.
776
00:31:17,242 --> 00:31:20,612
It makes me understand someone
who hasn't lived my life.
777
00:31:20,713 --> 00:31:23,449
Yeah, exactly, and... Well,
I take it... When we take it...
778
00:31:23,549 --> 00:31:25,584
And even though you haven't been
through what I've been through,
779
00:31:25,684 --> 00:31:27,753
you probably know a Ms. Pat,
or you probably know a victim.
780
00:31:27,853 --> 00:31:29,288
-I like that. -Or you probably
know somebody been though
781
00:31:29,388 --> 00:31:30,656
-what I have been through.
-Yeah.
782
00:31:30,756 --> 00:31:32,157
You know, just because
you haven't been molested
783
00:31:32,257 --> 00:31:33,559
-don't mean nobody else
haven't been molested. -Mm-hmm.
784
00:31:33,592 --> 00:31:34,760
Just 'cause
you haven't been shot
785
00:31:34,860 --> 00:31:36,028
don't mean nobody else
haven't been shot.
786
00:31:36,128 --> 00:31:39,198
So we all kind of
been through stuff
787
00:31:39,298 --> 00:31:41,033
with families
and friend members.
788
00:31:41,133 --> 00:31:43,302
I just experienced it,
and put it on TV with comedy.
789
00:31:43,402 --> 00:31:44,803
You've put it on TV with comedy.
790
00:31:44,903 --> 00:31:46,305
You've been successful
at doing it.
791
00:31:46,405 --> 00:31:48,140
You've got a wonderful cast
that tells amazing stories.
792
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:50,809
I would love to know where you
see the series going from here.
793
00:31:50,909 --> 00:31:52,378
What do you hope to achieve?
794
00:31:52,478 --> 00:31:54,980
Uh, it's gonna show you the real
path of my life as a comedian.
795
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:56,448
'Cause I'm a comedian
in this show.
796
00:31:56,582 --> 00:31:58,851
So eventually,
before they cut out the lights,
797
00:31:58,951 --> 00:32:00,652
I'm gonna become
a famous comedian.
798
00:32:00,753 --> 00:32:02,621
(laughter)
799
00:32:02,721 --> 00:32:04,690
-NOAH: Yeah.
-(applause and cheering)
800
00:32:04,790 --> 00:32:06,392
I'm no fool, Trevor.
801
00:32:06,492 --> 00:32:08,894
(laughs)
I got an ending.
802
00:32:08,994 --> 00:32:10,796
Before they turn out the lights,
"Hey, let me give you
803
00:32:10,896 --> 00:32:14,199
the last episode, okay?
Let's end this thing right."
804
00:32:14,299 --> 00:32:15,934
It is such a wild story.
You know, I--
805
00:32:16,035 --> 00:32:17,202
Sometimes people will
hear my story and they go, like,
806
00:32:17,302 --> 00:32:18,570
"That doesn't sound real."
I'm like,
807
00:32:18,671 --> 00:32:20,139
"But it is real but it doesn't
sound that great."
808
00:32:20,239 --> 00:32:22,875
And then I-I read your story, I
was like, "But this is not real.
809
00:32:22,975 --> 00:32:24,810
One person couldn't
have gone through all of this."
810
00:32:24,910 --> 00:32:26,378
What-What is your secret?
811
00:32:26,545 --> 00:32:28,781
Beyond the comedy that you use
as-as a tool
812
00:32:28,881 --> 00:32:31,150
to process this
information, like,
813
00:32:31,250 --> 00:32:33,419
where does your resilience
come from as a human being?
814
00:32:33,552 --> 00:32:36,255
Um, I don't dwell on things
I don't have control over.
815
00:32:36,355 --> 00:32:38,757
-I cannot change the past.
-Wow.
816
00:32:38,857 --> 00:32:41,960
So-- (chuckles)
817
00:32:42,061 --> 00:32:45,564
And I'm-- You know, I'm not
a big churchgoing person,
818
00:32:45,597 --> 00:32:48,000
but I just learn
when I can forgive
819
00:32:48,100 --> 00:32:51,170
the people who harm me,
I can start to live.
820
00:32:51,270 --> 00:32:54,907
So, my mother,
my first kid's father,
821
00:32:55,007 --> 00:32:56,208
who shot me in the back
of the head,
822
00:32:56,308 --> 00:32:59,645
those were the two
biggest devils in my life.
823
00:32:59,745 --> 00:33:03,415
So once I forgave them,
I found happiness.
824
00:33:04,416 --> 00:33:07,619
I love that.
I love that. I love the show.
825
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:08,854
It's an honor to have you here.
826
00:33:08,954 --> 00:33:10,756
Come back when you've
won all the Emmys,
827
00:33:10,856 --> 00:33:12,691
all the awards,
super famous comedian.
828
00:33:12,791 --> 00:33:14,159
Everyone should watch
your Netflix special.
829
00:33:14,259 --> 00:33:16,528
And I hope you'll join us again
and again and again
830
00:33:16,562 --> 00:33:17,663
-Again and again.
-and again and again.
831
00:33:17,763 --> 00:33:18,931
Ms. Pat, thank you so much
832
00:33:19,031 --> 00:33:20,199
-for being here with me.
-Thank you for having me.
833
00:33:20,299 --> 00:33:22,568
-(cheering, applause)
-Thank you so much.
834
00:33:22,668 --> 00:33:24,403
For upcoming stand-up dates,
835
00:33:24,536 --> 00:33:27,306
check out MsPatComedy.com,
836
00:33:27,406 --> 00:33:29,641
and don't forget-- season two
of the The Ms. Pat Show
837
00:33:29,742 --> 00:33:32,544
premieres August 11 on BET+.
We're gonna take a quick break
838
00:33:32,644 --> 00:33:34,980
-but we'll be right back after
this. -(cheering, applause)
839
00:33:41,655 --> 00:33:43,690
(cheering, applause)
840
00:33:46,793 --> 00:33:48,128
Well, that's our show
for tonight.
841
00:33:48,228 --> 00:33:50,163
But before we go,
before we go,
842
00:33:50,263 --> 00:33:52,532
I just wanted to remind you
that recovery efforts
843
00:33:52,632 --> 00:33:55,468
are underway after
record-breaking floodwaters
844
00:33:55,569 --> 00:33:58,271
have hit eastern Kentucky.
We need to help them.
845
00:33:58,371 --> 00:34:00,273
And The Foundation
for Appalachian Kentucky
846
00:34:00,373 --> 00:34:03,476
is doing all that they can
to assist these efforts.
847
00:34:03,577 --> 00:34:05,045
So if you can,
please support them
848
00:34:05,145 --> 00:34:07,314
and the work that they're
doing at the link below.
849
00:34:07,414 --> 00:34:09,015
Until next time,
stay safe out there.
850
00:34:09,115 --> 00:34:11,985
And remember, if you're
a terrorist who wants to get
851
00:34:12,085 --> 00:34:13,787
some fresh air on a balcony,
852
00:34:13,887 --> 00:34:16,323
maybe just buy a fan instead.
853
00:34:16,423 --> 00:34:19,125
Now here it is,
Your Moment of Zen.
854
00:34:19,226 --> 00:34:20,694
Tonight, Biden gave a speech
boasting that
855
00:34:20,794 --> 00:34:23,363
he's killed an Al Qaeda figure
in Afghanistan.
856
00:34:23,463 --> 00:34:27,200
Great. Feel safer? Of course
you don't. Nobody does.
857
00:34:27,300 --> 00:34:28,935
They loathe the elected
president so much
858
00:34:29,035 --> 00:34:30,170
they're incapable
of acknowledging
859
00:34:30,270 --> 00:34:33,006
any accomplishment,
no matter what it is.
860
00:34:33,106 --> 00:34:36,009
Trump is bad.
Trump killed Baghdadi.
861
00:34:36,109 --> 00:34:38,979
Therefore, killing Baghdadi
was bad.
862
00:34:39,079 --> 00:34:42,115
That's how these purported
geniuses actually think.
863
00:34:42,215 --> 00:34:45,151
They are purely reactive.