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♪ ♪
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ANNOUNCER: Coming to you
from New York City,
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the only city in America,
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it's The Daily Show!
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Tonight,
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Japan gets knocked up.
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It's okay.
The summer is almost over.
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And Abbi Jacobson.
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This is The Daily Show
with Trevor Noah!
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-♪ ♪
-(cheering and applause)
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What's going on, everybody?
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Welcome to The Daily Show.
I'm Trevor Noah.
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Thank you so much for tuning in.
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Thank you, guys,
for coming out in person!
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Thank you for being here!
Thank you so much!
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Take a seat, everybody.
Take a seat.
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We've got a really fun show
for you tonight.
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Japan is faking a pregnancy,
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Donald Trump
needs a mole removed,
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and New York wants you
to commit murder.
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Plus, our guest tonight is
the one and only Abbi Jacobson.
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-So, let's do this, people.
-(cheering and applause)
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Let's jump straight
into today's headlines.
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♪ ♪
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All right, people.
I'm gonna be honest--
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with all the news
that happened today,
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I don't think we have
enough space for it in the show.
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I-I tried everything.
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I even tried putting it in
a suitcase and standing on it,
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you know, like...
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so it closes,
but the news just get-get--
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kept getting caught
in the zipper and...
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And so I'm sorry, but we
just don't have time for it all.
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Fortunately,
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not enough time
is just enough time
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for a segment we call
Ain't Nobody Got Time for That.
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-♪ ♪
-(cheering and applause)
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All right, let's kick things off
with the ongoing saga
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of Donald Judeo-Christian Trump
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who, earlier this week, was
rudely interrupted by the FBI
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when he was trying to hoard
classified documents.
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And there's still a lot
we don't know about this raid.
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What did the FBI find?
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Why would Trump be keeping these
documents in the first place?
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Has Trump secretly been able
to read this entire time?!
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But now we may be getting
a little more insight
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into why the FBI moved in
on Mar-a-Lago.
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Tonight, brand-new reporting
about what led the FBI
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to execute a search warrant
Monday at Trump's Florida home.
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The Wall Street Journal
reporting
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that the feds
may have gotten a tip-off
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from an insider after officials
visited Mar-a-Lago back in June
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to ask about government
documents possibly stored there.
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Someone familiar with the stored
papers told investigators,
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there may still be
more classified documents
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at the private club.
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NEWSWOMAN 2: Trumpworld
is now reportedly trying
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to figure out who flipped.
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According to Rolling Stone,
Trump is worried
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that he may have a rat
or multiple rats in his midst.
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He's wondering
if his phones are tapped
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or even if his buddies
could be wearing a wire.
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Oh, no.
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One of Trump's friends
could be wearing a wire?
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This is
the worst possible scenario
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because now he's got to tell
Rudy Giuliani and Steve Bannon
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-to take their shirts off?
-(audience groans)
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Just be like,
"Take-- you know what?
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On second thought,
I'll just kill myself."
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And if this is actually true,
I am going to be shocked.
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I cannot believe someone would
betray Trump's trust like this
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without getting
a book deal first.
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You're leaving money
on the table, people!
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What are you doing?
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Also, by the way, before
MAGA World tears itself apart
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trying to figure out
who's the rat,
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I think you should all
consider the fact
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that Trump could be
the leak, okay?
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No, because if there's
one thing we're learned
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over the past seven years,
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it's that he's the king
of snitching on himself.
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Yeah, for all we know,
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he was bragging about it
at the Mar-a-Lago buffet.
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He's just like, "This chocolate
cake is almost as unforgettable
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"as the classified documents
I keep in my basement.
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"But not a single person knows.
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It was the perfect crime."
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By the way, that's a real
picture of him at the buffet.
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We didn't create that.
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There are many pictures
of him at the buffet.
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Now, if we had more time we
could get into how Trump has had
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such a tight hold
on the Republican Party
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that they're willing to put him
above the law,
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or we could talk about whether
Merrick Garland unsealing
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the search warrant
will convince Republicans
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that this search was justified,
but we just don't have the time
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because while Trump
is fighting off the FBI,
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two former Trump officials
are trying to dodge
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Iranian assassins.
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Returning to a story overseas,
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a member of Iran's
elite Revolutionary Guard
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is charged in an alleged plot
to murder
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former National Security Advisor
John Bolton.
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NEWSWOMAN: Investigators say
the alleged murder-for-hire plot
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began to take shape
after this drone strike in Iraq
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assassinated top Iranian general
Qasem Soleimani
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over two years ago.
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Iran found retaliation.
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The Justice Department is now
charging Shahram Poursafi,
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a member of Iran's
Revolutionary Guard,
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with offering $300,000
to murder Bolton.
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NEWSWOMAN 2: The FBI
also alleges that Poursafi
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"had a second job
for $1 million."
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The target of that job?
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Former Secretary of State
Mike Pompeo.
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Yeah, that's right.
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America assassinated
Iran's top general,
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one of the country's
most respected and feared man,
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and Iran responded
by trying to kill
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John Bolton and Mike Pompeo?
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(laughter)
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It's... it's not the same level.
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It's, like...
it's like if your wife
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slept with your best friend,
and you're like, "Oh, yeah?
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Well, I hooked up with
the I.T. guy at your office."
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Okay.
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You know, in some ways,
it actually says something
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about how divided
America is. Yeah.
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That it has nobody as respected
as Soleimani was in Iran.
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It feels like if anyone
got assassinated in America,
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half the country would be like,
"Hell, yeah, thank you, Iran."
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And by the way, just as insult,
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$300,000 for Bolton
but a million for Pompeo?
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(laughter)
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You know, that's a big
difference in price.
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I almost, I almost feel bad
for John Bolton.
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'Cause I don't know
what's worse,
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being on an assassin's hit list
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or having the assassin find you
and the assassin jumping out
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like, "John Bolton. Pedar sag.
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"I'm looking for a more
important person to kill.
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"Uh, do you know
where I could find him?
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Yes, yes?
Point me in the direction."
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Also, by the way,
if Iran was willing to pay
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a million dollars to kill
Trump's secretary of state,
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they should've just
asked Trump to do it.
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I mean, he was gonna get his
vice president killed for free.
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Come on, people, think about it,
think about it.
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No, but for real,
I do feel bad for John Bolton.
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I mean, yes, he's always trying
to bomb every other country,
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yes, he brags about
overthrowing governments
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but being hunted by the Iranians
can't be fun.
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I mean, it definitely explains
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why he's wearing the stupid
fake mustache the whole time.
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(laughter)
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It's-it's real?
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Oh, sorry. My bad.
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Uh, now,
now if we had more time,
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we could talk about
how America sees nothing wrong
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with assassinating foreign
officials whenever they like
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but act surprised when other
countries want to get revenge.
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(gasp) "You should have turned
the other cheek."
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But we just don't have
the time, goddamn it,
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because while Iran is
trying to get rid of people,
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Japan is trying to figure out
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how to add people
to its population.
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The only problem is
who they put in charge of that.
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NEWSMAN: Japan has replaced
the female minister
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in charge of reversing the
country's falling birth rate
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with a man who has never
had children.
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Masanobu Ogura said
he gained an understanding
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of the issues
facing expectant mothers
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by wearing a simulated pregnancy
belly for 24 hours,
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telling the reporters that
wearing the 16-pound prosthetic
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left him with sympathy for women
and back pain.
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(laughter)
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(applause and cheering)
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This is the dumbest shit
I've ever heard in my life.
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If having a big belly
helped men understand women,
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the patriarchy
would be long gone.
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What are you talking about?
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That's the dumbest thing ever.
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"All it left me with
is back pain"?
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Also, like, what a bitch-ass.
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One day,
and he was like, "Oh, my back!"
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(laughter)
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Now aside from trying
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to Miss Doubtfire their
falling population problem,
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Japan is trying everything
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to figure out why their people
aren't having more babies.
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And, look, I'm not a scientist,
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but if you ask me,
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maybe it's because
they invented the PlayStation.
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-(laughter)
-Yeah.
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That thing has prevented
more pregnancies
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than every condom,
diaphragm and IUD ever made.
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-(applause and cheering)
-Ever.
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That's real birth control.
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Yeah. 'Cause he'll be...
be like, "All right, baby.
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"You just... you ready
to have some sex?
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"Oh, we're gonna have
some real sex tonight, girl.
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"It's gonna be... All right,
let me just finish this mission.
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"Let me just... Oh, shit!
I just unlocked the RPG!
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"Yo, boys get online!
We're going all night!
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"Baby, you're probably going
to want to live
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00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:46,760
the rest of your life
without me. Yeah!"
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Now, if we had more time,
we could talk
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00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,297
about how Japan is a warning
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to every developed country
in the world
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that if your immigration
policies are too restrictive,
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at some point, your population
is going to collapse.
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Or if we had time,
we could have so much fun
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00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:00,007
talking about how Japan
basically has
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00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,875
a secretary of raw-dogging,
which is wild.
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00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:03,877
Like, what does he do?
Send the army
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00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:05,412
to just, like,
snipe holes out of condoms?
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00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:06,747
I would love to figure it out,
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00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,081
but ain't nobody got time
for that
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00:09:08,182 --> 00:09:09,449
because we have
to go to a break.
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00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:11,018
But before we do, we have
to check in on the weather
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00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,419
with our very own Desi Lydic,
everybody!
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00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:15,055
(applause and cheering)
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00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,193
So good to see you, Desi.
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00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:26,466
So, uh, Desi, are you going
to tell us about the weather?
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00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:28,802
Yes, Trevor. Let's talk
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00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:33,273
about whether a man should be
wearing a fake pregnancy belly.
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00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:36,610
Let me just say, as someone
who has been pregnant,
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00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,745
I can tell you
the belly is only ten percent
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00:09:38,846 --> 00:09:40,581
of the full experience.
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00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,683
It'd be more realistic
if you wore the fake belly
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00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:47,454
and then got punched in the dick
for 36 hours straight.
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00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:50,524
And then
that dick got ripped off.
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00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:53,861
And then he had
to raise that dick for 18 years.
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(laughter)
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Ah, the miracle of life.
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But at least
he's trying, though.
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00:10:00,234 --> 00:10:01,835
And that goes--
that goes both ways.
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00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,137
I've always said that,
which is why I've been trying
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00:10:04,238 --> 00:10:06,707
to understand
the male experience better
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00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:08,375
by acting like a man.
241
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:11,812
Like, uh, I've been getting
paid more for no reason.
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00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:15,249
I have, like,
three friends named Kyle.
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00:10:15,349 --> 00:10:16,650
Talking a lot about Bitcoin
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00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:19,553
even though I don't know
anything about Bitcoin.
245
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:23,290
Wow, Desi, it sounds like
you really--
246
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:25,792
I've been
interrupting people more.
247
00:10:25,893 --> 00:10:27,928
Getting really good at that.
248
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:34,535
Well, great. Well-well, maybe--
249
00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:36,670
It's easy once you
get the hang of it.
250
00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:49,049
-So if we-- -All you have to do
is wait until someone
251
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:52,219
starts talking,
and then you start talking.
252
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:54,421
Desi, I know
what interrupting is.
253
00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:56,924
It's when you speak
on top of somebody else.
254
00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:58,792
Oh, actually, Trevor,
255
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,894
it's when you interject
256
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:02,896
before someone's
completed their thought.
257
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:05,098
Desi, stop mansplaining to me!
258
00:11:05,199 --> 00:11:06,366
Just get to the weather!
259
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:08,802
Okay, all right, calm down.
260
00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:10,938
Don't act crazy.
261
00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:20,681
Take it easy.
262
00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:23,083
Has anyone told you
you should smile more?
263
00:11:25,419 --> 00:11:28,655
Give it a try.
Give it a try.
264
00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:30,791
Let's see those dimples.
265
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:35,429
You know what, I'm--
I'm just gonna need a moment.
266
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:37,331
So let's take a break.
Desi Lydic, everybody.
267
00:11:37,431 --> 00:11:39,566
Desi Lydic.
And when we come back,
268
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:42,402
Ronny Chieng will prove
why summer is terrible,
269
00:11:42,503 --> 00:11:44,538
-so don't go away.
-(cheering, applause)
270
00:11:54,056 --> 00:11:56,091
(cheering and applause)
271
00:12:00,395 --> 00:12:02,965
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
272
00:12:03,065 --> 00:12:06,969
You know, there's so much
arguing in America today,
273
00:12:07,069 --> 00:12:08,604
but we here at The Daily Show
274
00:12:08,704 --> 00:12:09,805
think there could be even more.
275
00:12:09,905 --> 00:12:11,473
So, to do our part,
here's Ronny Chieng
276
00:12:11,573 --> 00:12:13,709
with another installment
of Prove Me Wrong.
277
00:12:13,809 --> 00:12:15,577
-♪ -♪
-Ice cream, vacations,
278
00:12:15,677 --> 00:12:17,112
long walks on the beach.
279
00:12:17,212 --> 00:12:18,847
I (bleep) hate all that shit.
280
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:20,282
Welcome to Prove Me Wrong:
281
00:12:20,382 --> 00:12:22,317
-Summer Edition.
-(buzzing)
282
00:12:23,685 --> 00:12:25,721
♪ ♪
283
00:12:27,723 --> 00:12:29,891
Summer is the worst season.
Prove me wrong.
284
00:12:29,992 --> 00:12:31,226
Well, I would say
summer is the season
285
00:12:31,326 --> 00:12:32,527
where everyone's the happiest.
286
00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:34,329
During the summer,
everyone gets to come outside.
287
00:12:34,429 --> 00:12:36,865
Everybody's shirt
turns into a Rorschach test.
288
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:39,434
But, during the summer, when
everyone's sweaty and gross,
289
00:12:39,534 --> 00:12:40,669
everyone's sweaty and gross.
290
00:12:40,769 --> 00:12:42,771
We're all equal
during the summer.
291
00:12:42,871 --> 00:12:45,207
So you're making
a Marxist argument
292
00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:46,742
for B.O. during summer.
293
00:12:46,842 --> 00:12:47,943
Yeah, pretty much.
294
00:12:48,043 --> 00:12:49,811
Yeah, sorry,
this is the free world.
295
00:12:49,911 --> 00:12:52,147
-Mm. -The top one percent
should not have B.O.
296
00:12:52,247 --> 00:12:53,949
-How do you smell?
-Go ahead. Smell me.
297
00:12:54,049 --> 00:12:56,318
I dare you.
Smell this shit right now.
298
00:12:57,519 --> 00:12:58,620
(sniffs)
299
00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:00,622
You smell like me.
See? We're the same.
300
00:13:00,722 --> 00:13:02,257
That's not a compliment.
301
00:13:02,357 --> 00:13:05,160
Pools are better than oceans.
Prove me wrong.
302
00:13:05,193 --> 00:13:06,662
Pools are stinky.
303
00:13:06,762 --> 00:13:08,730
They have nasty people
that go in there.
304
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,332
They just get in
with their funky bodies
305
00:13:10,432 --> 00:13:13,268
and their sweaty selves
and just plop up in there.
306
00:13:13,368 --> 00:13:15,671
Yeah, you think people don't pee
and poop in the ocean?
307
00:13:15,771 --> 00:13:17,572
-Oh, yeah. -And-and it's
not just people, by the way.
308
00:13:17,673 --> 00:13:20,242
You think whales are coming
on land to take a shit?
309
00:13:20,342 --> 00:13:21,610
Yeah, if they want to.
310
00:13:21,710 --> 00:13:23,845
No, they're not. They're
shitting in the ocean, okay?
311
00:13:23,946 --> 00:13:26,181
It's whales, jellyfish, seals.
312
00:13:26,248 --> 00:13:28,250
It's octopus. It's
every (bleep) thing in there
313
00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:30,552
just shitting into your mouth.
314
00:13:30,652 --> 00:13:32,888
Oceans are just pools
that are trying to kill you.
315
00:13:32,988 --> 00:13:34,222
Do you know how many
shark sightings have been here
316
00:13:34,323 --> 00:13:35,624
this last week? There's five.
317
00:13:35,724 --> 00:13:37,059
Like, did you see the shark?
318
00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:39,194
-N-No. -Eh...
-Interesting. Interesting.
319
00:13:39,294 --> 00:13:41,196
Oh, so your argument is
"I didn't see the shark
320
00:13:41,296 --> 00:13:42,864
so therefore the ocean is safe"?
321
00:13:42,965 --> 00:13:44,366
-I mean...
-Well, good luck out there.
322
00:13:44,466 --> 00:13:47,402
-I've never seen a shark at
the beach myself. -Nope, and...
323
00:13:47,502 --> 00:13:48,904
So, what, you're a shock denier.
324
00:13:49,004 --> 00:13:50,806
Can't get food from the--
from pools either.
325
00:13:50,906 --> 00:13:52,407
-There's no fish in pools.
-Yeah.
326
00:13:52,507 --> 00:13:54,977
-But in the ocean, I-I'd be
sustaining myself. -Yeah.
327
00:13:55,143 --> 00:13:56,578
-Fresh coconuts, fresh fish.
-Yeah.
328
00:13:56,678 --> 00:14:00,415
You can't eat anything near
the ocean. The sand gets in it.
329
00:14:00,515 --> 00:14:02,951
-Protein. -Put your money
where your mouth is.
330
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:04,453
-This is food.
-All right.
331
00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:06,655
This is your food on the beach.
332
00:14:06,755 --> 00:14:08,323
Do it.
333
00:14:09,324 --> 00:14:10,659
(clears throat)
334
00:14:10,759 --> 00:14:12,794
(munching)
335
00:14:19,434 --> 00:14:22,037
Is that good enough for you?
(muffled laugh)
336
00:14:23,605 --> 00:14:25,707
Okay, I got some bad
news for you.
337
00:14:25,807 --> 00:14:27,476
There's no protein in sand.
338
00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:29,278
-(bleep) out of here. -All
right. -Thanks for the fries.
339
00:14:29,378 --> 00:14:30,812
Yo, thanks, bro.
340
00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:34,416
Pigeons are better
than seagulls. Prove me wrong.
341
00:14:34,516 --> 00:14:36,518
Pigeons are literally,
like, rat with wings.
342
00:14:36,618 --> 00:14:38,520
Genetically,
they used to be white,
343
00:14:38,620 --> 00:14:40,255
but then, out of, like,
Darwinism, and, like,
344
00:14:40,355 --> 00:14:42,658
after all these years,
they actually turned black
345
00:14:42,758 --> 00:14:43,959
to adapt to, like,
certain environments,
346
00:14:44,059 --> 00:14:46,194
-and they're so gross.
-Why do you have
347
00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:48,063
-to make it racial?
-It's not racial.
348
00:14:48,196 --> 00:14:49,331
We're talking about pigeons
versus seagulls,
349
00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:50,599
-not why are pigeons black.
-It's scientific.
350
00:14:50,699 --> 00:14:51,867
How many Info Wars do you watch?
351
00:14:51,967 --> 00:14:53,635
No, but it's, like,
just over time,
352
00:14:53,735 --> 00:14:55,370
like, they start genetic...
They used to be white,
353
00:14:55,470 --> 00:14:56,972
but genetically,
over time, they, like...
354
00:14:57,139 --> 00:14:59,908
People have been canceled
for less than that.
355
00:15:00,008 --> 00:15:01,910
Popsicles are gross.
Prove me wrong.
356
00:15:02,010 --> 00:15:03,578
-Why are Popsicles gross?
-I don't need
357
00:15:03,679 --> 00:15:05,881
to watch someone
fellate a dessert.
358
00:15:05,981 --> 00:15:07,149
Eat ice cream's gross enough,
359
00:15:07,215 --> 00:15:08,317
but at least
you can't "Deep Throat" it.
360
00:15:08,417 --> 00:15:09,685
I'm sorry.
It prepares you for life.
361
00:15:09,785 --> 00:15:10,986
-That's a lot of work.
-(Chieng laughs)
362
00:15:11,153 --> 00:15:13,956
And there's lots of instances
where you have
363
00:15:14,056 --> 00:15:16,258
to do things similarly
364
00:15:16,358 --> 00:15:19,294
-to eating a Popsicle. It's...
-Do you work in show business?
365
00:15:19,394 --> 00:15:20,762
No, but Popsicles are good, man.
366
00:15:20,862 --> 00:15:23,165
-You got all different kinds
of flavors. -Like what?
367
00:15:23,198 --> 00:15:25,667
50/50 bars, you got a red, uh,
an Original Pop,
368
00:15:25,767 --> 00:15:27,235
you've got Bomb Pops.
369
00:15:27,336 --> 00:15:28,470
-You got...
-None of those are flavors.
370
00:15:28,570 --> 00:15:30,472
Okay, so you tell me
what flavor that is.
371
00:15:30,572 --> 00:15:32,674
This is grape, and I actually
really love grape.
372
00:15:32,774 --> 00:15:34,376
Everybody hates on it,
but it's so good.
373
00:15:34,476 --> 00:15:37,079
Grapes don't taste like that
in real life.
374
00:15:37,179 --> 00:15:39,448
Okay, the guy
who created the flavor grape
375
00:15:39,548 --> 00:15:41,917
clearly has never had
a grape before.
376
00:15:42,017 --> 00:15:43,619
Yeah? See?
377
00:15:43,719 --> 00:15:45,721
No, that's...
378
00:15:45,821 --> 00:15:48,090
You ate it like a pelican.
379
00:15:48,190 --> 00:15:50,292
You didn't even chew it.
How did you do that?
380
00:15:50,392 --> 00:15:51,727
It's sticking to your beard now.
381
00:15:51,827 --> 00:15:53,895
-Ugh.
-Oh, that's so good.
382
00:15:53,996 --> 00:15:56,164
Yeah, see, that's...
No, man.
383
00:15:56,265 --> 00:15:57,866
Popsicles aren't gross,
you are gross.
384
00:15:57,966 --> 00:15:59,968
What's wrong--
What you got against popsicles?
385
00:16:00,135 --> 00:16:01,503
They're messy.
They make my hands sticky.
386
00:16:01,603 --> 00:16:03,472
-Why, you don't eat it
fast enough? -Yeah.
387
00:16:03,572 --> 00:16:05,340
-Can't put it in your mouth
fast enough? -No.
388
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:06,942
Why don't you
demonstrate right now.
389
00:16:08,243 --> 00:16:11,213
Ugh, yeah. Okay, that's...
390
00:16:11,313 --> 00:16:12,748
very ex-experienced.
391
00:16:12,848 --> 00:16:15,050
Look, no mess.
Lookit. No mess.
392
00:16:15,150 --> 00:16:17,152
Even still have
my lip gloss on.
393
00:16:17,252 --> 00:16:18,820
Okay, you know what, that was
actually-- As much as I want
394
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:20,822
-(laughs) -to hate on that, that
was actually pretty impressive.
395
00:16:20,923 --> 00:16:23,258
I feel like you actually
did prove me wrong.
396
00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:24,626
-So you know what?
-Am I good?
397
00:16:28,664 --> 00:16:29,564
What's happening?
398
00:16:29,665 --> 00:16:31,633
All right.
399
00:16:31,733 --> 00:16:33,235
Is that what I win?
400
00:16:33,335 --> 00:16:36,038
You get to wear
the golden thong.
401
00:16:36,171 --> 00:16:37,472
You have now earned
the right to take my place
402
00:16:37,572 --> 00:16:39,174
-No, I'm good. -behind
the "prove me wrong" sign.
403
00:16:39,274 --> 00:16:41,043
-I'm wearing my own thong. -No,
you've clearly proved me wrong.
404
00:16:41,176 --> 00:16:42,577
-That golden thong is--
-That's what happens when you
405
00:16:42,678 --> 00:16:44,646
-prove me wrong. You have to
take over. -No, no, it's okay.
406
00:16:44,746 --> 00:16:46,415
-It's-- No, you got to
take my place now. -I-- No.
407
00:16:46,515 --> 00:16:48,350
-It's like Highlander.
-No, it's on you.
408
00:16:48,450 --> 00:16:49,651
You're right, now take--
409
00:16:49,751 --> 00:16:50,786
Take my spot.
410
00:16:54,323 --> 00:16:56,491
Thank you so much for that,
Ronny. All right, stay tuned,
411
00:16:56,592 --> 00:16:58,527
because when we come back,
Abbi Jacobson
412
00:16:58,627 --> 00:17:00,362
will be joining me on the show.
Don't go away.
413
00:17:00,462 --> 00:17:02,497
(cheering, applause)
414
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:15,110
(cheering and applause)
415
00:17:16,712 --> 00:17:18,080
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
416
00:17:18,180 --> 00:17:20,549
My guest tonight
is actor, writer,
417
00:17:20,649 --> 00:17:22,384
and producer Abbi Jacobson.
418
00:17:22,484 --> 00:17:25,153
She's here to talk
about co-creating and starring
419
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:27,990
in the new series
A League of Their Own,
420
00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:31,727
which will be available to
stream August 12 on Prime Video.
421
00:17:31,827 --> 00:17:33,996
-Hi! It's us again!
-(chuckles)
422
00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:36,031
-Henry.
-Hi...
423
00:17:36,131 --> 00:17:40,235
-(chuckles) -(inhales)
Henry, okay, I need you...
424
00:17:40,335 --> 00:17:41,937
to send this immediately.
425
00:17:42,037 --> 00:17:43,572
-Abso... -All right?
You need to make sure
426
00:17:43,672 --> 00:17:45,374
-it goes out, all right?
Immediately. -I will.
427
00:17:45,474 --> 00:17:47,743
-Don't open it!
-I... I won't open it.
428
00:17:47,843 --> 00:17:49,144
Why would I open it?
(chuckles softly)
429
00:17:49,244 --> 00:17:50,512
-Why did you even bring that up
though? -I-I'm not...
430
00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:52,347
Is there someone else?
I-I don't...
431
00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:53,815
-This is sealed, so just keep...
-You're bad.
432
00:17:53,915 --> 00:17:55,083
...keep it that way.
433
00:17:55,183 --> 00:17:57,019
Henry's a bad boy.
434
00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:59,354
-I won't be-- I-I don't plan
on being bad. -Don't be bad.
435
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:01,089
-BOTH: Don't be bad, Henry.
-Please enjoy your stay.
436
00:18:01,189 --> 00:18:04,126
-Do not-- Don't be bad!
-Don't be bad!
437
00:18:04,226 --> 00:18:06,528
Please welcome Abbi Jacobson!
438
00:18:06,628 --> 00:18:08,664
-♪ ♪
-(cheering and applause)
439
00:18:18,407 --> 00:18:20,242
-Abbi Jacobson.
-Wow. Wow.
440
00:18:20,342 --> 00:18:21,777
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
441
00:18:21,877 --> 00:18:23,378
Thanks for having me back.
442
00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:25,380
It is so good to have you back.
443
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,182
Last time you were on the show,
444
00:18:27,282 --> 00:18:30,585
um, we were talking
about the end of Broad City.
445
00:18:30,686 --> 00:18:31,753
20 years ago.
446
00:18:31,853 --> 00:18:33,522
(laughing)
447
00:18:33,622 --> 00:18:35,090
-It feels like that.
-It does feel like that.
448
00:18:35,190 --> 00:18:36,491
-It really does feel like that.
-It was, like, three years ago.
449
00:18:36,591 --> 00:18:38,460
What-what I didn't know
is you were already embarking
450
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:40,329
on a new journey
to start League of Their Own.
451
00:18:40,429 --> 00:18:42,764
And I love how you've taken
a movie that's a classic
452
00:18:42,864 --> 00:18:44,099
and turned it into something
453
00:18:44,199 --> 00:18:46,335
that's super current
to what's happening today,
454
00:18:46,435 --> 00:18:49,204
but it feels like it's-it's very
much in touch with the original.
455
00:18:49,304 --> 00:18:52,007
I love to hear that, yeah.
456
00:18:52,107 --> 00:18:53,609
It is a...
457
00:18:53,709 --> 00:18:55,510
It's-it's quite a classic.
458
00:18:55,611 --> 00:18:58,213
It's-it's
people's favorite movie.
459
00:18:58,246 --> 00:18:59,348
It's a lot of pressure.
460
00:18:59,448 --> 00:19:00,682
(both laugh)
461
00:19:00,782 --> 00:19:01,883
-It is, though, it was huge.
-It is.
462
00:19:01,984 --> 00:19:03,218
It's one of my favorite movies.
463
00:19:03,251 --> 00:19:05,454
-Yeah. -That's why we wanted
to do it, but,
464
00:19:05,554 --> 00:19:07,789
-you know, it was made in 1992,
when I... -Right.
465
00:19:07,889 --> 00:19:10,258
And it's-it's a two-hour film,
this is a TV version.
466
00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:11,927
We have a lot more real estate
467
00:19:12,027 --> 00:19:14,696
and we wanted to tell
a lot more stories.
468
00:19:14,796 --> 00:19:16,164
There's a lot of things
469
00:19:16,264 --> 00:19:20,068
-that Penny Marshall hinted at
in the film... -Yes, yes.
470
00:19:20,168 --> 00:19:23,972
...that you-you're-- it's,
like, alluding to, to things.
471
00:19:24,072 --> 00:19:25,974
I feel like she had to do that,
though, but what's,
472
00:19:26,074 --> 00:19:28,777
what's great is that the story
talks about everything.
473
00:19:28,877 --> 00:19:29,945
-It talks about sexuality.
-Yeah.
474
00:19:30,045 --> 00:19:31,580
You know, it talks
about, uh, acceptance.
475
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:33,181
It talks about, you know,
476
00:19:33,282 --> 00:19:36,752
even-even that-that-that-that
little nod to, oh, segregation.
477
00:19:36,852 --> 00:19:38,186
It's like you've got the fight
for women's rights,
478
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:39,454
but it's like Black women
are often excluded
479
00:19:39,554 --> 00:19:40,989
-from that conversation.
-Yep.
480
00:19:41,089 --> 00:19:43,325
And now you've gone, "I'm gonna
bring all those conversations,
481
00:19:43,425 --> 00:19:44,793
but I'm not going
to allude to them."
482
00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:47,195
No, we're-we're going full-on.
483
00:19:47,262 --> 00:19:48,864
-I love it.
-No alluding.
484
00:19:48,964 --> 00:19:51,667
Yeah, I mean, it's a...
485
00:19:51,767 --> 00:19:54,269
Women playing baseball,
I think some of them
486
00:19:54,369 --> 00:19:55,937
are going to be queer,
I think, or...
487
00:19:56,038 --> 00:19:57,205
-Yeah.
-I think so,
488
00:19:57,306 --> 00:19:58,640
and none of them were
in the film,
489
00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:01,209
even though it's like
this kind of iconic gay movie
490
00:20:01,310 --> 00:20:02,444
-somehow, but...
-It really is.
491
00:20:02,544 --> 00:20:05,213
...there's no, like,
no one's gay in it.
492
00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:06,548
Rosie's in it, not like...
493
00:20:06,648 --> 00:20:08,216
-There's just, like, little
touches. -Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
494
00:20:08,283 --> 00:20:10,252
And the more research we did,
495
00:20:10,352 --> 00:20:13,789
the more we found out that
this was a really queer league.
496
00:20:13,889 --> 00:20:16,992
And queer people didn't just
show up at Stonewall.
497
00:20:17,159 --> 00:20:19,161
Like, we've been around
forever, and so
498
00:20:19,194 --> 00:20:21,063
the more research we did about
queer culture in the '40s,
499
00:20:21,163 --> 00:20:22,497
it was just like,
it was so exciting
500
00:20:22,597 --> 00:20:23,765
to dive into those stories.
501
00:20:23,865 --> 00:20:26,001
And then there is this,
this scene in the film
502
00:20:26,168 --> 00:20:29,338
that you all know as well,
which is an iconic scene
503
00:20:29,438 --> 00:20:31,173
where there's a foul ball
and a Black woman picks it up
504
00:20:31,239 --> 00:20:32,741
-and chucks it back
and it's, like, -Yes. Right.
505
00:20:32,841 --> 00:20:35,177
"But, she... Why isn't...
She has a great arm,"
506
00:20:35,243 --> 00:20:36,945
and, and then that's truly it.
507
00:20:37,045 --> 00:20:38,981
-If you blink,
you miss the scene. -Yeah.
508
00:20:39,081 --> 00:20:41,316
It's so short, and in '92,
509
00:20:41,416 --> 00:20:43,485
I think Penny couldn't tell
that story
510
00:20:43,585 --> 00:20:45,187
as thoroughly as we can now.
511
00:20:45,220 --> 00:20:48,457
And so, in that league,
that the film features,
512
00:20:48,557 --> 00:20:50,225
women of color
were not allowed to try out,
513
00:20:50,325 --> 00:20:51,293
-they weren't allowed to play.
-Right. Right.
514
00:20:51,393 --> 00:20:53,695
And, so, in this show,
we find out,
515
00:20:53,795 --> 00:20:56,531
well, what happens when that
door opens for my character
516
00:20:56,632 --> 00:20:58,900
and a lot of other white women
and white-passing women
517
00:20:59,001 --> 00:21:02,070
to get to play in that league
and what happens when it closes.
518
00:21:02,204 --> 00:21:04,773
And, and this other main
character in the show--
519
00:21:04,873 --> 00:21:06,241
which you're all going
to find out,
520
00:21:06,341 --> 00:21:08,010
uh, when you watch
the whole thing--
521
00:21:08,110 --> 00:21:10,812
uh, finds her own team
and her character
522
00:21:10,912 --> 00:21:12,614
is loosely based
on these three women
523
00:21:12,714 --> 00:21:14,483
-who played in
the Negro leagues. -Right.
524
00:21:14,583 --> 00:21:17,019
-Right. -Toni Stone,
Mamie Johnson and Connie Morgan.
525
00:21:17,152 --> 00:21:19,054
So once we, like, found out...
526
00:21:19,154 --> 00:21:21,323
Or once I found out
all about them,
527
00:21:21,423 --> 00:21:24,026
that was the most exciting
part-- to tell their story.
528
00:21:24,159 --> 00:21:25,627
I think you tell it well.
529
00:21:25,727 --> 00:21:26,962
I think it's really funny.
530
00:21:27,062 --> 00:21:28,797
I think it brings
so many stories together.
531
00:21:28,897 --> 00:21:30,432
One of the most amazing moments
for me...
532
00:21:30,532 --> 00:21:32,234
You know, you say the word
"research" a lot.
533
00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:33,568
And I hope
everybody understands.
534
00:21:33,669 --> 00:21:35,871
You actually did research
the league itself.
535
00:21:35,971 --> 00:21:38,206
-You talked to women
who played baseball. -Yeah.
536
00:21:38,307 --> 00:21:39,875
You talked to them
about their experiences.
537
00:21:39,975 --> 00:21:41,977
You had one
of the most amazing moments
538
00:21:42,077 --> 00:21:43,779
where you shared the fact
539
00:21:43,879 --> 00:21:46,615
that you're queer
with a baseball legend.
540
00:21:46,715 --> 00:21:49,384
-Yeah. Maybelle.
-Yeah, and she came out.
541
00:21:49,484 --> 00:21:51,386
Yeah, so, again,
we've been working
542
00:21:51,486 --> 00:21:55,424
on this since 2017,
and research was such...
543
00:21:55,524 --> 00:21:58,327
Like, every iteration
of the writers room, the...
544
00:21:58,427 --> 00:22:01,196
All the department heads
had access to all the research.
545
00:22:01,229 --> 00:22:02,931
-And so, in doing that, we met
a lot of the players... -Uh-huh.
546
00:22:03,031 --> 00:22:04,866
from the league and a lot
of other softball players
547
00:22:04,967 --> 00:22:06,702
that are still around.
548
00:22:06,802 --> 00:22:10,505
And Maybelle Blair,
who was consulting with us
549
00:22:10,605 --> 00:22:12,007
on, like, the baseball part...
550
00:22:12,140 --> 00:22:15,711
You know, Will Graham and I,
who co-created it with me--
551
00:22:15,811 --> 00:22:17,913
we... we had a drink with her.
552
00:22:18,013 --> 00:22:20,515
She has this, like,
dive bar down by...
553
00:22:20,616 --> 00:22:22,150
in California that she loves,
554
00:22:22,184 --> 00:22:25,654
and she brought us out to, like,
a 5:00 p.m. dinner, and...
555
00:22:25,754 --> 00:22:27,255
-She's 95.
-She's 95 years old?
556
00:22:27,356 --> 00:22:29,191
-She's 95. -I think this is
crucial for people to remember.
557
00:22:29,291 --> 00:22:30,692
-Uh, yeah, yeah, she's 95.
-NOAH: This is a late night.
558
00:22:30,792 --> 00:22:32,260
-Yeah. Yeah.
-NOAH: You're 95 years old.
559
00:22:32,361 --> 00:22:34,196
And so, I... We were like,
"We got to bring this part up."
560
00:22:34,296 --> 00:22:35,831
And I was like, "You know,
561
00:22:35,931 --> 00:22:38,166
I'm queer, Will's queer."
I was just, like, outing us all.
562
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:41,169
Uh, you know, "I feel like
that was missing from the film.
563
00:22:41,236 --> 00:22:42,537
-"Like...
-Uh-huh.
564
00:22:42,638 --> 00:22:44,039
"there had to have been
queer characters.
565
00:22:44,172 --> 00:22:46,341
Do you feel like that
was missing from the film?"
566
00:22:46,441 --> 00:22:48,910
And she s-- like, took a breath
567
00:22:49,011 --> 00:22:51,880
and was like,
"Well, you know, I'm gay
568
00:22:51,980 --> 00:22:54,383
and I've never said that
to really anybody."
569
00:22:54,483 --> 00:22:55,984
And "queer"
is not a-not a term--
570
00:22:56,084 --> 00:22:59,354
-She was like, "That was a slur
for a very long time." -Yeah.
571
00:22:59,454 --> 00:23:01,390
And so she told us
about four years ago,
572
00:23:01,490 --> 00:23:03,892
but we just premiered
at Tribeca in June,
573
00:23:03,992 --> 00:23:06,828
-and she came out on stage,
publicly. -That is amazing.
574
00:23:06,928 --> 00:23:08,563
-(cheering, applause)
-And-- -That is amazing.
575
00:23:08,664 --> 00:23:11,066
-And, I mean, she's 95.
-Right.
576
00:23:11,199 --> 00:23:13,669
And if this shows, like,
these stories we're telling
577
00:23:13,769 --> 00:23:17,739
in the show-- I just feel
very proud to be-to be
578
00:23:17,839 --> 00:23:20,142
showing this kind of
representation 'cause, I mean,
579
00:23:20,208 --> 00:23:21,643
it took her nine--
it was an incredible moment,
580
00:23:21,743 --> 00:23:24,379
-but it also took her
to be 95. -Yes.
581
00:23:24,479 --> 00:23:26,682
So that shows
how dangerous and-and--
582
00:23:26,782 --> 00:23:29,017
it was to be queer
and still is to be queer,
583
00:23:29,151 --> 00:23:31,553
and how important it is
to show these stories, so...
584
00:23:31,653 --> 00:23:33,722
I-I think that's-that's
what makes it so powerful
585
00:23:33,822 --> 00:23:36,191
is you know, you use
the comedy to get us in,
586
00:23:36,291 --> 00:23:38,427
and it's a really funny show--
I hope everybody-- like,
587
00:23:38,527 --> 00:23:40,896
watch it for that reason alone
if you want, it's super funny--
588
00:23:40,996 --> 00:23:42,164
but the reason
you're gonna stay
589
00:23:42,197 --> 00:23:43,565
is because
there's so much heart.
590
00:23:43,665 --> 00:23:46,635
It, like, talks to the
precarious nature of being queer
591
00:23:46,735 --> 00:23:49,171
-and how you can and cannot
exist in certain spaces. -Yeah.
592
00:23:49,204 --> 00:23:50,639
And then it talks about
everything. It talks about,
593
00:23:50,739 --> 00:23:51,974
like, how women have to,
like, sort of
594
00:23:52,074 --> 00:23:53,642
step out of the spotlight
when the men are, like,
595
00:23:53,742 --> 00:23:55,410
-"We're coming back
to take our league." -Yeah.
596
00:23:55,510 --> 00:23:57,212
It's-it's-- it's a really funny
show. I think you've done
597
00:23:57,312 --> 00:23:59,047
a great job. I hope
it goes on for many, many,
598
00:23:59,181 --> 00:24:00,215
-many seasons.
-Thank you.
599
00:24:00,315 --> 00:24:01,617
I hope we just see you again,
with more
600
00:24:01,717 --> 00:24:03,185
-and more and more and more.
-Maybe I'll come back,
601
00:24:03,218 --> 00:24:06,088
-come back, couple months.
-Yeah. Just keep coming back.
602
00:24:06,188 --> 00:24:08,657
Thank you so much for joining me
again. Wonderful seeing you.
603
00:24:08,757 --> 00:24:10,759
So much fun. Abbi Jacobson,
everybody. We're gonna take
604
00:24:10,859 --> 00:24:13,528
a quick break, but we'll
be right back after this.
605
00:24:13,629 --> 00:24:15,664
-(cheering, applause)
-Thank you again.
606
00:24:21,137 --> 00:24:24,273
(cheering)
607
00:24:24,373 --> 00:24:25,774
Well, that's our show
for tonight,
608
00:24:25,875 --> 00:24:27,977
but before we go,
before we go, don't miss
609
00:24:28,077 --> 00:24:29,912
Hell of a Week
with Charlamagne Tha God.
610
00:24:30,012 --> 00:24:31,914
It's been a week,
and he's about to take it down.
611
00:24:32,014 --> 00:24:33,549
And it starts right now,
so don't move.
612
00:24:33,649 --> 00:24:35,184
Like, right now, right now.
Watch it. Until next time,
613
00:24:35,284 --> 00:24:36,652
Stay safe out there,
and remember--
614
00:24:36,752 --> 00:24:40,489
your best friends could be
wiretapping your conversations,
615
00:24:40,589 --> 00:24:42,791
so you should probably talk that
trash straight to their face.
616
00:24:42,892 --> 00:24:44,593
Now here it is,
Your Moment of Zen.
617
00:24:44,693 --> 00:24:46,996
♪ ♪
618
00:24:47,096 --> 00:24:50,266
If you could plan your last
meal on earth, what would it be?
619
00:24:50,366 --> 00:24:51,500
It won't be dog penis.
620
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,102
I ate a whole plate
of dog penis one time--
621
00:24:53,202 --> 00:24:55,171
-not doing that again.
-♪ ♪