(applause and cheering)
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
Of all the little life skills
that we need to get through the day,
the most annoying one is making small talk.
But is small talk more important than we think?
Well, Michael Kosta went to find out.
KOSTA: As we reenter society for the (bleep)teenth time,
the workforce is returning to the office,
and people have to do the grossest activity--
make small talk.
So I spoke to the public to see if it was time to end
this terrible type of conversation.
Is there anything worse than small talk?
-It is the worst. -Yeah.
-It's the worst? -Worst.
It's like the awkward phase.
I don't really care about your day most of the time.
-'Cause it makes me nervous. -'Cause it (bleep) sucks.
How do you feel your individual, small-talk skills
have gotten since the pandemic?
Everyone's just awkward as (bleep) now.
I forgot how to talk to people.
-So what do you do? -Try not to talk to people.
I will find a friend at a party and just sit myself with them.
What if we're at the park? Are we going to small-talk?
If I don't know you, no. I keep it moving.
KOSTA: Clearly, we all hated small talk, so,
I wasn't going make anyone suffer any longer.
So (bleep) all this small talk.
You know what? Let's not do small talk for a second,
-okay? -Okay.
Um, God.
-Wow. -Real.
-Is God real? -Um...
-I want to get to the good stuff. -Yeah.
Will you tell me about your worst childhood trauma?
Oh. Oh, uh... no.
KOSTA: It's clear
everyone preferred my conversational approach.
However, some see the benefits to small talk,
like psychology professor Tara Well from Barnard College.
So I met with her to go deep
about why she likes to keep things on the surface.
It's really important that we engage in small talk
'cause it's how we connect as humans,
and I appreciate how important it is for us.
Uh, you appreciate the most awkward moment
of all social interaction?
It has kind of a negative connotation.
We think it's superficial,
and it's just kind of, you know, mindless and a waste of time.
What has happened to small talk since the pandemic started?
The past two years have pretty much decimated small talk
-in a number of ways. -Yeah.
I mean, when we talk to people face to face,
we use the whole body.
There's also a slight time lag in Zoom.
-Mm-hmm. -And in those few seconds,
we tend to think of something negative,
so if someone pauses...
-They hate me. -Well... Yes.
-Exactly. Exactly. -Right.
Should I put my shirt back on, that type of thing.
Yeah.
So, many people are feeling kind of very socially awkward,
-not knowing what to say. -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
-Also wearing masks because... -Mm-hmm.
we connect with our facial expressions
-to regulate our emotions. -Like, especially like this?
-Like... -Yeah.
-Or like this? or like this? -(laughing)
-Did you feel connected to me then? -No, no.
-That's interesting. -What happens is we...
We oftentimes mirror our-our facial features.
So, what's wrong with just jumping
-into the important stuff? -Well,
you know, small talk isn't therapy.
-Okay? It's not therapy. -Hmm.
It's kind of easy to blame the pandemic...
-Right. -but in a lot of ways,
-we were headed here already. -Yeah.
The generation younger than me is the most medicated,
the most socially anxious, having the least amount of sex.
Is that connected to the importance of small talk?
I think it can be
because even before the pandemic,
we were kind of losing that face-to-face contact.
We don't get the same psychological
and emotional benefits when we just, you know, respond
-to text or like a post on-on social media. -Right.
Are we in a small talk crisis?
Yes.
KOSTA: Wow, she really made small talk
seem important. It made me realize that
maybe even I could get a little better at it.
If I need to get better at small talk,
who do I practice to?
So, you can practice in the mirror
or you could also
get a small talk practice buddy.
STPB.
Just go there and be curious to get to know other people.
But also know that you're gonna be awkward and it's okay.
And what if I feel the responsibility
-to initiate conversation? -Simply starting out,
"Hi, I'm Michael. I don't think I've met you yet.
-What's your name?" -Hi, I'm Michael, what's your name?
-I haven't met you yet. I got to-- -Have a little bit of
-lightness and intonation. -Okay.
Hi, I'm M-- I'm Michael. What's your name?
-Hi, I'm Michael. What's your name? -Hi--
You don't want to sound too sexy, though.
Hey, I'm-- hey, I'm Michael. What's your name?
-Nah. -That was too sexy.
-Too much, too much. -Okay. I got to practice.
With Professor Well's instructions,
I practiced my small talk to do my part
to end this conversational crisis.
Hello. I'm you, who are-- who's Michael?
Hi, I'm-I'm hot outside.
(loudly): Hello, how are you? Too loud.
♪ ♪
Um, yeah, Lake Superior is the biggest of the Great Lakes.
-Lake Superior-- -Oh, my God. Sorry, what'd you say?
Did-- I didn't say anything. Why would I say something?
♪ ♪
Hi, it's pretty hot outside, huh?
That's a good one.
Hello. How are you?
Hello. What is your hometown?
After weeks of talking to my reflection, my dog,
and hiding from that coworker
I tried to talk to in the elevator,
I was finally ready to take my small talk
on a test run.
Uh, so, the weather is cloudy today, huh?
Have you seen the latest Spider-Man movie?
Hey, you wear that yellow really well. Oh, my God,
Bryant Park-- it's like, turn down the music already.
-No. -I feel like that was too many things at once.
-It was. -How did that make you feel?
Um... overwhelmed, but I'm vibing.
Wow, that's a beautiful building.
-Yeah. -Yes. Gorgeous. -You know what
-isn't beautiful? -What?
-The HPV in my body. -Wow.
-You like sports, Evan? -I do like sports.
Yeah, cool. Which one of your parents do you love more?
-Oh, my God. -KOSTA: So my small talk
wasn't perfect but, to my surprise, I actually had some
good conversations that didn't get super weird.
How are you enjoying New York?
Uh, it's a lot to take in. It's definitely different
from where I am-- from Memphis, Tennessee.
Hey, I feel like we just had a nice conversation
and maybe the small talk was the bridge that got us there.
Agreed, I think so.
And I didn't have to even bring up my HPV.
You didn't have to bring that up at all.
Small talk on three-- one, two, three,
-small talk! -Small talk. -Small talk!
Do I love small talk? No.
Do I understand why we need it? Fine.
Do I have any big plans this weekend?
Why, yes, I do. Thanks for asking.
Got it, baby. Small talk expert.
(cheering, applause)
Thank you so much for that, Michael, All right, stay tuned
because when we come back, Sherri Shepherd
will be joining me on the show. So don't go away.
(cheering, applause)
(applause and cheering)
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
My guest tonight is comedian, actor
and Emmy-winning talk show host Sherri Shepherd.
She's here to talk about her brand-new
daytime talk show Sherri which premiers September 12.
Please welcome Sherri Shepherd.
(applause and cheering)
Hi, everyone.
-Welcome. -Hi.
Hey, y'all.
-Sherri Shepherd. -What's going on?
-Welcome to The Daily Show. -Welcome to The Daily Show.
-Look, you are fine. I have not seen you in person. -(laughter)
Oh, my... You know, because you see people on TV.
You're like, "They look all right." You fine.
-(laughter, applause) -All right.
-I see what you're doing already. This... -Oh, whatever.
-This is... This is... -When are we going to Africa together?
-(laughs) -(laughter)
I've never been to Africa. I'd like to go.
-You've never been? -I've never been.
Wait. Never? Anywhere.
-I've never been to Africa. -Oh, okay.
Let me tell you something. Mothers love me in Africa.
I've never been, but I know they're gonna like me.
-(laughter) -How do you know? -I just...
I'm that kind of person.
I'm that kind of person that, like... You know, peop...
-I'm family reunions. -Uh-huh.
I like going. I cook sometime...
Well, I order from DoorDash, and I put it on the china.
I just know... I fit in with families.
Okay. That's probably why you're gonna make
such a great host for a new show.
I should say, welcome to The Daily Show,
and more importantly, I should say, welcome to New York
because you moved to New York to make your show.
-Congratulations. -Oh, that's right.
I'm here in New York. I love it.
-Welcome to it. -I am here in New York.
(applause and cheering)
-This is a big deal. -Yes, it is.
'Cause I've been on The View. You know, I did The View
-for seven seasons. -Of course. Of course.
-With Barbara and Whoopi and Joy and Elisabeth. -Right. Right.
And so, to do my own-- it's literally a dream come true.
I've been... I used to talk to my teddy bears
with, like, the toilet paper roll, and I would put...
I'd put it in front of their faces, and I would do that.
And when I was a legal secretary,
I would sign my name "Sherri."
So it's, like, I always thought about doing a talk show.
So, you... Wait. Let's go back.
-So you interviewed the teddy bears? -I did.
As an adult or child? How old were you?
-When I was a child. I... -Okay. No.
You didn't explain, like, where exactly.
-I was just trying to situate this whole experience. -No.
When I was a child... No, no, I do grown men now
when I have to interview. Yeah, that's who I do.
-I don't do teddy bears anymore. -(applause and cheering)
Trevor, what? No, sir!
Oh. It feels like you were made for this role.
Like, people love you on TV.
You act, you're in comedy
but this is a different type of job
-because it is your show. -I know.
It's going to be daily,
you're going to be talking about everything.
-Let's talk about that part of the show -Yes.
because, you know, y-you're going to be in daytime TV
where a lot of people go, "Oh, don't do politics,"
and you know, "Don't do certain parts of comedy."
It feels like you're bringing everything
that makes you who you are to the show.
Tell me a little bit about that.
I am, you know what, because I have, I love politics,
I could sit and talk about it 24/7,
but I'm very clear, my show is joy, fun and laughter
because we go through so much in our day,
-I think we get desensitized. -I love that.
And I want you to be able to come
because they can get it from you,
they can get the news from The View, from Wolf Blitzer
but I want you to come to my show and laugh.
I want you to have a good time.
That's all I want.
And I just have this incessant need.
We're both stand-up comics, I have to make you laugh.
And so if that's what you want,
I want you to turn in to Sherri.
We're just going to be tuning in to the show,
we're going to be laughing.
You're also going to be showcasing comedians,
-which-which I love. -(gasps)
Like, you have a special segment on the show
for stand-up comedians specifically.
It's "Sherri's Laugh Lounge"
because I have been a struggling comedian, like, my entire life.
I used to go and I would get bumped by Tommy Davidson,
Marlon Wayans, all of them.
And I would just sit there till 1:00 in the morning
and I would play in front of one person.
And I go, "If somebody would just give me a chance,"
and that is what I want to do with comics.
-I love that. -I know so many comics.
-I love that. -Yes.
-That is my mission. -I love that.
You know, because you know,
you know there are comics around, Trevor,
-who just, they just need the exposure -Yeah, yeah.
but they can't sit on the couch, you know how that world is.
But you can come and sit with me and you make people laugh
and hopefully that will open up...
Like what Johnny Carson used to do.
I did it with, you know, Jay Leno.
He had me do stand-up and it changed my world.
It feels like you have, you know, an energy about you
that is all about positivity
'cause it's not just about laughing.
You know, even on The View,
you had your moments where you would go really deep
but for the most part you found a reason to laugh.
You found a reason to smile, you found a reason
to make people feel good about themselves.
And the-the show that you're in, you know,
for-for a lot of daytime shows some people will say,
"Oh, it-it's gonna be gossipy only,
it's gonna be negative only,"
but you've never been that kind of person.
-No. -It's almost like you have a joyous way
of seeing whatever's happening in the world.
I do. I just-- I've-I've just grown up going,
-"You got to-- there's a silver lining in everything." -Yeah.
You just have to know how to find it.
And I am a woman of a certain age
and I want women to look at me and go,
"If Sherri can do it, if it can happen for Sherri,
it can happen for you, too."
-I used to struggle. -Right.
So I know this.
You know, I want people to know that joy,
I want people to get past the fear
'cause I'm a big... I'm a big believer
in "run towards the thing that scares you."
-Wait, really? -Yes.
-Oh. -Yes, and, see...
Yeah, I know, and, I know,
-I sat and watched you. -I'm the opposite.
-You said that, like, when you were... -I'm the opposite.
-You-you run away... -I think you should run away
-from the thing that scares you. -No, uh-uh, and I'm like,
-the thing that scares you... -That's why it scares you.
No, but-but you know what?
It scares you, but if you go towards it,
-there's a lot... -It can kill you.
No, no, it will not kill you.
There's a lot of blessings on the other side,
-so if you go towards it... -That's heaven.
You realize the blessings on the other side are heaven, Sherri.
Honey, let me tell you.
Well, you got to be man enough to know how to pick her up--
-I mean, pick it up. -(laughs)
It's heavy, but, you know, run towards it.
That's-that's what I enjoy about your journey,
because it's like you-you're going into a show,
you know, you-you've been doing the stand-up,
you've been doing the acting.
What you're doing is extremely hard-- coming to New York.
I mean, you know, L.A. has, like, a different pace to it.
-Yeah. -It's chill, people are friendly.
-You know... -There's like a vibe.
You've seen, I mean, you've seen that video of, like,
that Mercedes crashing into that other car.
-That's New York. -That's New York.
You know how you know that New York is crazy?
-How? -Is that the people walking by
in that video don't even stop.
They don't-- then, you know, I'm telling you...
I hope you're not gonna let that change you.
It does not. In-in L.A. it's-- we're so chill.
Like, in New York, if I say to you, "Let's have lunch,"
New Yorkers go, "Well, what time? Where we gonna meet?"
I'm just trying to say goodbye.
-(Trevor laughs) -That's how we are in L.A.
Like, that-- it's-it's too much.
We-we-- when we say, "We gonna go to lunch" in L.A.,
it's just like, I'm trying to get out the conversation.
We don't mean it.
But New Yorkers are ver-- Even riding the subway--
like, everybody looks at their cell phone,
they don't see anything, you know?
One lady got on the subway, she's like, "Hello! I am blind
and I need money and I had a fire in my place!"
And she was like, "Girl, you so funny. I am blind!
And I need your help."
New Yorkers hustle.
-It's another world. -It's another world and I love it.
So, you are at the beginning of a new show.
-Yes. -Everything is an opportunity,
Everything is a possibility. It kicks off on September 12.
I want to know, if you could fast forward
five years, ten years-- however many years
you want to be doing the show-- what is the thing
you want to leave people saying afterwards when they go, like,
"Man, that Sherri Shepherd show, it did, it was, it--" You know?
Uh, I think I would want people to say
-"Sherri Shepherd gave me joy. -Mm.
Sherri Shepherd made me feel good."
That's what-- I think you have to know
who you are when you walk in.
I think women-- we also have a problem with that,
knowing what is unique about us.
And so, you know, that is what is unique about me.
I want to make you smile and feel good.
So I hope that people leave saying that.
And women, and I hope you leave going,
"Sherri taught me how to negotiate my money.
-Never take the first offer. Never. -(cheering, applause)
Let me tell you something.
No, say no.
I want them to say, "Sherri taught me how to say no."
-I love this. -That's right.
Well, if you ask me out, I won't say no.
That don't apply to this right here.
But "Sherri taught me how to say no."
You see, you got to go for what you want.
I don't know when I'm gonna be sitting behind this desk,
so I got to tell Trevor how I feel, okay?
You got to let him know.
I did it for Prince.
I told Prince the same thing.
-So we're going Africa? -I will go to Africa with you.
-Let's go to Africa. -I do. Yes, I do.
I sw-- Yes, did you hear that? Did you hear that?
Sherri Shepherd, everybody.
Thank you so much for joining me on the show.
Make sure to tune in September 12.
We're gonna take a quick break. we'll be right back after this.
(cheering, applause)