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(cheering)
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Welcome back to The Daily Show.
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My guest tonight
is a former Nickelodeon star
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who is here to talk about
her best-selling memoir
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I'm Glad My Mom Died.
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Please welcome Jennette McCurdy.
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-♪ ♪
-(cheering, applause)
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Hi.
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Thank you.
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-Jennette McCurdy,
-Hi.
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-welcome to The Daily Show.
-I feel so short.
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-My feet aren't touching the
floor. -Oh, that's-that's fine.
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As long as, like,
you can-you can swing them--
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-I can swing 'em around.
-You can-- Yeah. It's, uh,
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-as long as you enjoy it.
-Oh, yeah, it's good.
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I can lower the desk
as well, if you'd like.
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-This is-this is good.
-Okay, good. Okay.
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I can't actually do it. I'm glad
you didn't ask me to do it.
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Um, welcome to the show
and congratulations
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on writing a book that,
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I think, for many people,
is seen as
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not just something funny,
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not just a story
that's interesting,
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but in many ways
a cathartic exploration
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of how we see the relationships
that we have
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with many of our parents,
our caregivers,
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whoever it was
in our world, because
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you wrote a book entitled
I'm Glad My Mom Died.
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Yeah.
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And it is a massive hit.
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So, two questions.
One,
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did you hate your mom?
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And two, does everybody?
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Um, no, I definitely
don't hate my mom. Uh,
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I think she was a really
complicated and nuanced person.
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And I try to kind of
articulate her
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to the best of my ability
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and all of her many
shades and colors.
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To me, her humor
is really, uh...
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She could say things
that were so wild
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and at times abusive, but
she just had a certain cadence
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and a rhythm
that was so humorous,
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so I tried to capture that, um,
but I certainly didn't hate her.
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And I think...
I think that's why
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it was so important for me
to write this book.
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Because getting to the place
where I was finally glad
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and relieved that
she was dead, you know,
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it took me so long to be able
to accept that, um, reality.
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And I also think that's
something that people...
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You-you-- I didn't hear
anybody talking about.
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I didn't hear anybody
saying, you know,
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that the sort of honest reality
of what their experience
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with their-with their parent
was, if they had a similar one,
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it feels like a thing
that you can't say because
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society doesn't accept it.
It just--
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You have to keep moms
on a pedestal and we all
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have to have
the same experience.
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And that just wasn't mine,
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so it felt even more important
to express it in the book.
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You-you go through
your entire journey.
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Many people, you know,
in America
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and some parts of the world
will remember you from iCarly.
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You were-you were this
massive child star.
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And on the camera,
you were all smiles.
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You made people laugh, everybody
enjoyed what you were doing.
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As soon as you read through
the book, you realize
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you-you were suffering.
You were experiencing trauma.
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It was really abusive,
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in-in how you were doing
what you were doing.
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It feels like, in many ways,
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you were living
your mom's dream
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and she was making you do this.
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-Yeah. -I-I would love to know
how you did it.
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Like, did you have a switch,
did you have a--
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did you compartmentalize?
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'Cause you-you
talk about it in the book,
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but you could-you could never
tell, you could never tell
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on screen what were
you going through.
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No, no. So, my mom always wanted
to be an actress.
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Her dream was to be... famous.
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Uh, and she would recount,
sort of, these tales
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of how her parents
wouldn't let her.
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She would camp out in front
of Donny Osmond's house,
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bring him, like, posters.
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Um, Chris Knight, who played
Peter Brady in The Brady Bunch,
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she swore, like,
oh, they had a relationship.
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I think that was... not true.
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Um, Chris Knight, if you're
watching, please let me know
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-if my mom actually had a
relationship with you. -(laughs)
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Um, but so she-she was
always fascinated with,
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kind of, Hollywood
and the aura and the romance,
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as she saw it, and so she put me
in acting when I six
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to kind of give, I think--
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in my eyes, it was
to live vicariously through me
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and to fulfill her dream
of what she had always wanted.
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But it seems like she subjected
you to a nightmare.
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-Yeah. -Because-because
you were in a world
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where it's supposed to be fun,
you know,
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-you're making kid's television,
and-and yet... -Yeah.
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...it-it seems pretty horrible.
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I also wonder
if this is the relationship
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of many child stars.
Or do you know,
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was-was this isolated
or do you think this is
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a lot more normal
that we'd like to admit?
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I think it's way more common
than anyone would care to admit.
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I know just from my experience
of going into auditions,
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countless times,
I'd have, like, 103 fever.
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My mom would be having me
chug Gatorade.
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I'd be walking in to, like,
pretend to be a homeless child,
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which is just already so,
kind of, messed up as it is.
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And there's these-- this--
you know, dozens of other girls
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lined up to also try
and be this homeless child.
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And the moms are, like,
eyeing each other and like,
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"Oh, I hope my daughter's better
at being homeless than yours."
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-And it's like, this is so--
What is this world? -(chuckles)
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It's so weird.
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Uh, but I-I am able to now,
kind of, look back
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and see the-the humor in it,
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and I think
it is a very absurd reality,
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but I do think
there's a lot of inherent, um,
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ironic humor there.
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I think what-what you've done
in the book is precisely that.
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You've looked back
and you've seen the humor.
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You-you use the humor. Because
this book without the humor
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is a devastating tale
of a young child
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-who is put into a world...
-A pity grab.
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-It-it really seemed...
-It would be so awful.
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-Oh, my God. -I don't think
it would be awful.
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I think it just would be--
It would be a lot harder
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for people to read. I-I think it
would be-- It would be painful.
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-'Cause it is still
the real thing. You know? -Mm.
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I-I wouldn't even think of it
as a pity grab.
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But-but the humor is-is
a coping mechanism.
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It's a tool you're processing
your life through.
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There's a point in the book
where I-I find myself
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-reading the stories
of your mom... -Yeah.
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...understanding
the complicated world
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-that she existed in...
-Yes.
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...but then wondering,
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you know, like, how you see her.
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Like-like, did you forgive her?
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Were you able to let it all go?
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Do you still-- do you still hold
some of those feelings?
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Like, wh-what has your journey
been?
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Oh, my God,
what a big, good question.
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That's such a deep--
Like, this is what I spent
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ten years in therapy, to be able
to now say on The Daily Show.
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(laughter)
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(cheering and applause)
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That's so cool.
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That's really awesome.
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Um, well, I'm glad
you initially,
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you know, you were speaking
of kind of the humor,
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and I do think
it's a great coping mechanism.
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And-and I don't--
I try not to use it
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as a, as a defense mechanism.
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I used it that way
for a long time initially
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when I was first kind of trying
to grapple with everything.
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And I think that led
to really unfunny choices,
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and my, my sense of humor's
just sort of overcompensatory
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and kind of flailing
and obnoxious, to be honest.
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Um, but I think finding humor
in those really intense moments
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and those tragedies can bring
levity where it's necessary.
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I hope I've done that.
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Um, with my mom, uh,
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I-I-I haven't gotten
to a place of forgiveness,
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and I was trying to get
to a place of forgiveness
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for so long in therapy.
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I would, uh, sort of plead
almost with my therapist, like,
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"Why am I not able
to get to this place?
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"What is-- what's wrong with me
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that I'm not able to forgive
my mom for this abuse?"
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-Hmm.
-"Why am I so terrible
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that I can't get to,
get to that place?"
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And she eventually said,
"You know, Jennette,
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"what if you just kind of
dropped, uh, forgiveness
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"and didn't make that your goal?
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Because that's you still trying
to do your mom's work."
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-WOMAN: Mm.
-I couldn't... Yeah, right?
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I mean, that's exactly
my reaction.
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I mm'ed to Erin, yeah.
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-Wow.
-Yeah.
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It's, um, yeah,
it's-it's a journey that I think
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far too many people
have been on.
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I think a lot of the success
of the book has been that.
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Obviously it's well written,
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obviously it's-it's
fantastically told,
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but it is
a very complicated topic.
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How do you address
the lack of love
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or the lack, lack of parenting
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that you were supposed
to get from that figure?
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Because, as you say,
Mom is supposed to be
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-this, this, you know, this god,
this icon of everything. -Yep.
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Dad in some ways as well
but not the same,
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-and yet you're in a world where
you're going... -(laughter)
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Oh, no, it's true, you know,
people will be like,
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"Oh, Dad, oh, my dad was okay."
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-Yeah.
-But Mom is-is untouchable.
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Or even with dads,
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you can be like,
"Oh, my dad never showed up,"
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and people are like,
"Oh, mine neither, uh-huh."
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-Right, right.
-And then it's totally normal,
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but I feel like, with moms, it
is very, very much, um, this--
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-there's this pedestal
that they're on. -Mm-hmm.
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When you, when you broached
this topic,
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when you started thinking
about it,
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were-were you worried that
people would turn on you?
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Um, I felt, even if they did,
it was a message worth sharing.
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I really, I really mean that.
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-Wow, I love that.
-Thanks.
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-I really do.
-Thank you.
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'Cause that's a brave stance
to take, 'cause a lot of people
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would be like, "How dare you
talk about your mom like that?"
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-Yes, yes.
-It's actually...
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(applause)
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(laughs) It's-it's-it's-it's
so crazy how,
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I mean, everything gets
memefied and, you know...
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-(laughs): Yeah. -There-there
was a, there was a post I saw
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online where someone was trying
to chastise everybody
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for talking about the queen,
you know, and, like, just going,
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-like, "We're glad this monarchy
is ending in some way." -Yeah.
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And someone was like,
"Replace-- you think it's funny,
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"try and replace
the queen with your mom
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and see how funny it is."
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And someone put a picture
of your book up,
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and then it was like
I'm Glad the Queen Died.
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(laughs):
Yeah.
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And it feels like... no,
but it feels like, that is...
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It feels like that's what
the book is dealing with,
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is you dealing
with the idea of a mom,
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and how that...
how that competes
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or conflicts
with your actual mom.
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Yes. Oh, my God. Yeah.
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-That should be
on the backflap. -(laughter)
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-I-I can write it. Um...
-I wish you would.
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You shared your story with us,
you've gone through a world.
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Now you are back in the world
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of entertainment
in a very different way.
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You're behind the camera.
You're directing,
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you're writing,
you've got a podcast.
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It's interesting
because it's a world
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that was so toxic to you,
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and now, you've come back
in a different way.
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Do you ever worry
that it may suck you back in?
245
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And how do you prevent yourself
from going back into that space
246
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of feeling like you're defined
247
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by everything
that you hated once?
248
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,756
Oh, my God. I'm-I'm so...
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Can I just say,
I respect you so much?
250
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I... This is so cool.
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-(applause and cheering)
-I'm so happy to be here, truly.
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-Like, this is amazing.
-Thank you very much.
253
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Um, I...
I have been scared of that.
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00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,502
There have been a few times
when I have done some, uh...
255
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some press that shall not
be named where it's so bizarre.
256
00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:02,142
Because I'm, like, hearing the
pre-roll of, you know, the...
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00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:04,912
They show, like, the clip of me
from the past, or whatever.
258
00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:06,813
And-and it's so dramatic.
259
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It's like, "McCurdy vanished
from the spotlight
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00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:11,385
"after her traumatic childhood
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00:09:11,485 --> 00:09:13,287
with the trauma
and the devastation."
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It's like,
"Geez, can we calm down?"
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And then I, like,
walked out to this, you know,
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to this, like, cold,
domineering kind of set.
265
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And then,
there's the journalist,
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and there's three inches
of makeup on the guy's face.
267
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And it's just, like, you know,
it does feel kind of, um...
268
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:31,038
It feels easy to lose sight of
reality in these environments.
269
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:34,441
-Huh. -And so I really try
to keep myself grounded
270
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and stay on top of,
you know, therapy
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and being in touch with things
that really are good touchstones
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and grounding tools for me.
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'Cause I do not want to,
um, get lost in it.
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But also, I will say,
I trust that I won't.
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I-I don't think I had the tools
before to not get lost in it.
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00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:49,556
-Mm-hmm.
-To not feel sort of caught up
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-in the whirlwind of-of showbiz.
-Right.
278
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,094
Um, but now I feel like,
you know what?
279
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:56,063
There are some elements
that are really cool about it,
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00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:58,065
uh, like this, and then,
there are some that aren't.
281
00:09:58,165 --> 00:10:00,901
And-and that's fine.
I can use my own discernment
282
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:03,737
and, uh... and just be grateful
for the good experiences.
283
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Well, we're grateful for you.
Thank you for writing the book.
284
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,074
-Thank you.
-Really wonderful having you.
285
00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:09,343
-Thank you so much.
-For real. Thank you so much.
286
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:12,179
I'm Glad My Mom Died
is available now
287
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,814
wherever you buy your books.
Jennette McCurdy, everybody.
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00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,148
We're going
to take a quick break,
289
00:10:15,249 --> 00:10:16,917
but we'll be right back
after this.
290
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:18,318
-Thank you for real.
-Oh, my God.
291
00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:20,487
(applause and cheering)
292
00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:17,583
Well, that's our show
for tonight, but
293
00:15:17,683 --> 00:15:20,386
before we go, before we go,
please consider supporting
294
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:22,021
Vibrant Emotional Health.
295
00:15:22,121 --> 00:15:23,556
They're a nonprofit dedicated
296
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:25,792
to helping people achieve
emotional well-being
297
00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:27,493
with innovative
community programs
298
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:31,030
as well as The 988
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
299
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:32,932
So if you want to support them
in their valuable work,
300
00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:34,734
then please donate
at the link below.
301
00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:37,670
Until next time, stay safe
out there and remember.
302
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,372
When life throws you
a curveball,
303
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:41,240
you just ka-ka-ka-ka
that thing away.
304
00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:44,043
Now here it is--
Your Moment of Zen.
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00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:46,179
♪ ♪
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NEWSMAN: You may have heard
this catchy tune
307
00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:51,951
about corn on social media.
308
00:15:52,051 --> 00:15:54,120
The viral song was created
from an interview done
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00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:56,222
by a seven-year-old boy
named Tariq
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00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:59,459
who enthusiastically
declared his love for corn.
311
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,360
"For me, I really like corn."
312
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,329
-What do you like about corn?
-"It's corn."
313
00:16:03,429 --> 00:16:05,031
"It's a big lump of knots.
It has the juice."
314
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,265
"It has the juice."
315
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:07,934
"I can't imagine
a more beautiful thing."
316
00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:09,202
"It's corn."
317
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,436
NEWSMAN 3:
"I can I tell you all about it.
318
00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:11,838
I mean, look at this thing."
319
00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:14,340
"When I tried it with butter,
everything changed."
320
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,108
"It's corn."