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♪ ♪
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ANNOUNCER: Coming to you
from New York City,
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the only city in America,
it's The Daily Show.
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Tonight:
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Trump's latest excuses.
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Should we go back to school?
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And Xolo Maridueña.
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This is The Daily Show
with Trevor Noah.
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-♪ ♪
-(cheering, applause)
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What's going on, everybody.
welcome to The Daily Show.
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I'm Trevor Noah.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
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Thank you for
coming out in person.
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Thank you for being here,
everybody.
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Thank you so much for
being here. We have got
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a wild show for you tonight.
Take a seat. Let's get into it.
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Donald Trump is Professor X,
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the New York subway is about
to replace House of Dragon
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as your favorite show,
and we'll find out
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why Russians are all going
on vacation at the same time.
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So let's do this, people.
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Let's jump straight
into today's headlines.
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-♪ ♪
-(cheering, applause)
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All right.
I'm gonna be honest.
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With all the news
that happened today, I...
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I don't think we have
enough space in today's show.
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I-I'm-I'm really sorry.
You know?
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It's too mu--
No, it's like we were at
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an all-you-can-eat news buffet,
and there's just
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only so many stories, like,
your mom can fit in her purse
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while the waiter's not looking.
There-there--
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there's just
not enough time for it all.
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Um, fortunately, not enough time
is just enough time
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for a segment we call
Ain't Nobody Got Time For That.
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-♪ ♪
-(cheering, applause)
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All right, let's kick things off
with the ongoing legal troubles
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of America's 45th president,
Donald Jurisdiction Trump.
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The only former president
with a side gig
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selling bedazzled
classified documents on Etsy.
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You see, Trump is still
being investigated
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by the Justice Department
for keeping over 100
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classified documents
in a closet at Mar-a-Lago--
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pretty much the least-secure
place in the world,
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outside of Adam Levine's DMs.
And Trump...
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and Trump World
has been coming up with
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all kinds of defenses
for what he did.
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They said, "Oh, the FBI
planted the evidence."
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They said, "Everyone
takes work home with them."
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A-And then they said,
"Trump was trying
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to protect the documents
from Nicolas Cage."
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But last night, last night,
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during an interview
with Sean Hannity,
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Trump came up with a new excuse
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that may have topped them all.
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NEWSWOMAN: A defiant
Donald Trump pushing back.
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The former president
is insisting
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he had the power
to declassify documents
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seized from his Mar-a-Lago home
just by thinking about it.
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If you're the president
of the United States,
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you can declassify
just by saying,
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"I'm-- It's declassified,"
even by thinking about it.
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And there doesn't
have to be a process.
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There can be a process,
but there doesn't have to be.
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Whoa, whoa, hold on,
hold on, hold on.
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Donald Trump can declassify
documents with his brain? How?
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How? He can't even
read documents with his brain.
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How-how does this happen?
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I really hope that "I can
make things happen with my mind"
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is gonna be their
actual argument at the trial.
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That would be great.
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"Your Honor, the defendant
pleads Jedi."
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So, Trump is saying that
he declassified these documents
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just by thinking about it.
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Which I don't even believe,
because that would be
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the first time in his life
that Trump has thought something
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and not said it out loud.
Think about it.
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This is a man
who thought to himself,
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"Ooh, if I wasn't related to
my daughter, I would date her,"
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and then he told everyone on TV.
He said it out of his mouth.
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And by the way, by the way, if
this all happened in his head,
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you do realize that means
now the FBI
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is going to have to raid
his brain for the evidence.
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That's going to be a nightmare
for them.
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Oh, guys, all right,
let's see what we have in here.
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Wow, it's a... a lot of bikinis,
a lot of bikinis in here.
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Miss America in a bikini.
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Is that Putin in a bikini?
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A hamburger in a bikini?
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Oh, what's... Hold up, hold up.
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I think I found the documents.
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I got them,
the classified documents,
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but they're in a bikini.
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(laughter and applause)
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Now... if we had more time,
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we could talk about
the massive ramifications
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of Donald Trump
having a superpower
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that only applies to documents,
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but we don't have the time,
because in that same interview,
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he gave a different excuse that
was even more mind-boggling.
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Here is Donald Trump's new
theory revealed just an hour ago
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about what the FBI
was really looking for
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with their search warrant.
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There's also a lot
of speculation
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because of what they did,
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the severity of the FBI coming
and raiding Mar-a-Lago,
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were they looking
for the Hillary Clinton emails
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that were deleted
but they are around someplace?
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Were they looking for
the spying...?
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HANNITY: Wait, wait,
you're not saying you had it...
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No, no, they may be saying...
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-They may have thought
that it was in there. -Okay.
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Wait, wait, wait, what?
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What?
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Even Sean Hannity's like,
"Wait, I'm sorry, I'm, I'm...
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I roll with you,
but I-I don't understand."
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Like... (stammering)
I'm so confused.
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What, so is Trump saying
the FBI raided his house
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to find Hillary's emails?
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So they didn't want
the documents
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he declassified with his mind.
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No, they wanted the emails
he couldn't find
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but that he actually had
the whole time at his house?
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Because Donald Trump
is Hillary Clinton?
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-(applause)
-What?
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What?!
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So... America really did elect
its first female president?
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What?!
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This is so insane.
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And if we had more time,
we could talk about
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how great it is that Hillary
Trump broke the glass ceiling
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or we could talk about
how amazing it is
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that Sean Hannity basically
gave Trump a softball
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and Trump hit himself
in the dick with his bat,
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but we don't have the fun...
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we don't have the time
to have fun with all of that
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because While American
people are getting embarrassed
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by their leaders, Iran's people
are rising up against theirs.
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TAPPER: Hundreds of Iranians
risking their lives
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to protest the country's
ultraconservative dress code
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for women and much more.
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They were sparked by the death
of 22-year-old Mahsa Amini
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while she was in the custody
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of Iran's notorious
morality police.
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She was detained for the crime
of showing her hair in public.
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-(crowd shouting)
-In a brave show of defiance,
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women in Iran's capital
of Tehran
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are now removing
their state-mandated hijabs.
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JOMANA KARADSHEH: The scope of
these protests, John, are rare
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but also unprecedented
in their feminist nature,
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where you're seeing
women at the forefront
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at these protests,
leading these protests,
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taking to the streets,
removing their headscarves,
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setting up bonfires,
burning their headscarves,
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and chanting
"Death to the dictator"
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in reference
to the Supreme, uh, Leader.
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Yeah, women in Iran...
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(cheering and applause)
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...women in Iran...
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who...
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who all have stories
of being detained
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or harassed
by the morality police,
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are fighting back,
and rightfully so.
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Rightfully so-- think about it.
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You're gonna have
a bunch of random people
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walking around Iran,
telling women
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what to do
with their own bodies. Huh?
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In America you have to be
on the Supreme Court to do that.
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And what the women of Iran
are doing
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is inspiring people
all over the world.
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I mean, you saw them. They're
chanting "Death to the dictator"
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in front
of the dictator's troops.
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That is the definition
of bravery,
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like actual bravery,
real bravery.
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-(applause)
-Yeah.
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Not like, not like the way
we use it here,
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like when a musician
tries acting.
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"Oh, this was
a real risk for you."
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And that bravery
has been contagious
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because in the past week
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these protests have gotten
bigger and angrier,
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and in response
the Iranian government
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is trying to control
the flow of information
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by shutting down access to apps
like WhatsApp and Instagram.
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But this is something I-I wonder
with these governments sometime.
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Do they, do they realize
that people protested
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before social media, right?
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Yeah, like, civil rights leaders
didn't have Facebook, all right?
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Nelson Mandela wasn't
on TikTok like,
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"Yo, it's your boy Nelson,
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straight-up kicking it
in prison, ha-ha-ha."
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Now, if we had more time
we could talk
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about how this protest follows
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on the heels
of a series of events
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that has turned Iran
into a powder keg.
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The government's COVID response
was terrible,
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water mismanagement has caused
massive droughts,
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the government has brutally
suppressed labor protests,
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and on top of all of that,
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the United States
has sanctioned Iran so badly
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that people can barely afford
medicine,
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so this protest and this moment
in time has many people in Iran
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wondering if this is going
to be a tipping point.
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But we don't have the time
to cover all of that
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because it turns out,
Iran's government
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is not the only one
that's feeling the heat.
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NEWSWOMAN: This morning more
than 1,000 Russian protesters
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detained by Russian police
after taking to the streets.
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Young men chanting
"I don't want to die for Putin."
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Mothers screaming
"Send Putin to the trenches,
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let our children live."
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This after President Putin
suddenly announcing
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he would call up 300,000 men
for military service
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after his massive losses
in Ukraine.
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NEWSMAN: Other Russians
are fleeing the country.
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Flights from Moscow
to all visa-free destinations
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selling out quickly.
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There are also
long lines of cars
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heading to Finland,
which has open borders.
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Yeah, that's right.
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After Russia's angriest elf
announced that he was going
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to be drafting 300,000 people
into his war in Ukraine,
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the Russian people
are trying everything
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to get out of country,
which I totally get. I get it.
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-(applause) -I mean,
think about it, think about it.
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This guy is fighting a war
for no reason. He made it up.
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It's like when your friend
gets drunk
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and then tries
to get you involved
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in a fight that they started.
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He's like, "Come on, bro,
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he spilled his shirt
all over my beer."
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It's like, "Yeah,
I'm just gonna Uber home."
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And, remember,
the Russians don't have Uber,
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so they're trying
every other way to get out,
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you know, any way they can.
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Some are flying out. Others
are driving across border.
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Some are even hitting up
Ron DeSantis,
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pretending to be Venezuelans.
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(Russian accent):
"Yes, my name is Domingo.
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We fly Martha's Vineyard, yes?"
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00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:58,432
And, look, if we had more time,
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00:09:58,532 --> 00:10:00,334
we could talk about whether
the resistance to Putin's draft
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00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:02,135
could spur more opposition
to the war itself
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00:10:02,236 --> 00:10:04,905
or we could talk about how Putin
needing to have a draft
243
00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:06,707
undermines everything
he's said up until now.
244
00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:08,275
Because, remember,
he's always insisted
245
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:09,643
that this wasn't even
a real war.
246
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:12,312
So what do you need
300,000 more soldiers for, huh?
247
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,681
Does he need help moving
that giant table? What is it?
248
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,116
Well, we don't have the time
to figure that out.
249
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,118
Because while Russia is
ramping up the war in Ukraine,
250
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:19,419
here in New York City,
251
00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:22,422
there is a major escalation
in the war on crime.
252
00:10:22,523 --> 00:10:25,626
The MTA taking some new action
to make our subways safer.
253
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:27,160
It's going to install
security cameras
254
00:10:27,261 --> 00:10:28,862
in every New York City
subway car.
255
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,797
NEWSMAN:
The MTA adding surveillance
256
00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:33,867
to more than 6,400 subway cars.
257
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,970
That's about 12,700 cameras,
258
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:40,374
a $5.5 million cost.
259
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:43,977
Today, Governor Hochul
got to test a major expansion
260
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:45,612
of the surveillance system.
261
00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:49,416
Watch here as Hochul
and MTA Chairman Janno Lieber
262
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:51,852
board a 7 train
at the Corona Yard.
263
00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:55,289
And then the hidden camera
on board records them.
264
00:10:55,389 --> 00:10:58,292
Do you think Big Brother's
watching you on the subways?
265
00:10:58,392 --> 00:10:59,326
You're absolutely right.
266
00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:00,561
That is our intent.
267
00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:01,562
"That's right.
268
00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:03,630
"I'm Big Brother
watching over you.
269
00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:07,067
Just like in that book I
clearly didn't finish reading."
270
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,370
What do you-- Why would you want
to be Big Brother?
271
00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:12,739
I get that they're trying
to address crime, but...
272
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,275
we already have cameras
in all the subways.
273
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,511
Yeah. They're called iPhones.
274
00:11:17,611 --> 00:11:19,513
Anything, anything
that those security cameras
275
00:11:19,613 --> 00:11:21,248
are gonna pick up was
already on TikTok two days ago.
276
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:22,983
Don't get it twisted.
277
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,885
And here's the thing-- I'm not
saying New York shouldn't try
278
00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:26,086
to make the subways safer,
279
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,621
but is this the right way
to spend the money?
280
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:29,623
Right? Especially when you
consider how many other problems
281
00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:31,391
with the subway
require funding--
282
00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:32,960
making them run on time,
283
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:33,994
upgrading the stations
284
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:35,829
to improve safety
and accessibility,
285
00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:37,164
maintaining them
286
00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:39,333
so that they don't always look
287
00:11:39,433 --> 00:11:41,735
like shit's about to go down.
288
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:44,404
Like, have you been in
a New York City subway lately?
289
00:11:44,505 --> 00:11:45,639
It looks like the world ended
290
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,107
and Will Smith is
about to show up with his dog.
291
00:11:47,174 --> 00:11:49,109
That's how it looks.
292
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,911
And, look, if we had the time,
293
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:52,913
we could talk about why
officials are always quick
294
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:55,115
to spend money on cameras
to catch homeless people
295
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,517
jerking off on the subway,
296
00:11:56,617 --> 00:11:58,819
when they could be spending
money investing in housing
297
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,687
so that those people could
jerk off in their own homes.
298
00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:01,955
-(cheering and applause)
-Or...
299
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,857
we could talk about how America
300
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:06,126
loves investing
in catching criminals,
301
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,528
as opposed to investing
in a society
302
00:12:07,628 --> 00:12:09,162
where people are less likely
to commit crime.
303
00:12:09,263 --> 00:12:10,564
But, unfortunately,
we don't have the time
304
00:12:10,664 --> 00:12:12,432
to talk about all that, because
Big Brother is telling me
305
00:12:12,533 --> 00:12:14,067
that it's time for us
to take an ad break.
306
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:15,202
So we'll be right back.
307
00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:17,337
(cheering and applause)
308
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,555
(cheering, applause)
309
00:12:32,261 --> 00:12:34,129
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
310
00:12:34,229 --> 00:12:36,932
You know, there's
311
00:12:37,032 --> 00:12:39,268
so much arguing
in America today,
312
00:12:39,368 --> 00:12:41,070
but we here at The Daily Show
313
00:12:41,170 --> 00:12:43,072
think there could be even more.
314
00:12:43,172 --> 00:12:44,873
So, to do our part,
here's Dulcé Sloan
315
00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:47,309
with another installment
of Prove Me Wrong.
316
00:12:47,409 --> 00:12:48,877
You know, it's that
special time of year
317
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:51,346
where the crisp
is back in the air,
318
00:12:51,447 --> 00:12:54,450
your exes are calling you back,
319
00:12:54,550 --> 00:12:56,785
and we have sent
those bad-ass kids
320
00:12:56,885 --> 00:12:58,253
back in that building.
321
00:12:58,353 --> 00:13:02,124
So welcome to Prove Me Wrong:
Back-to-School Edition.
322
00:13:02,224 --> 00:13:04,126
♪ ♪
323
00:13:07,129 --> 00:13:09,031
If kids ain't
that bright anyway,
324
00:13:09,131 --> 00:13:11,934
why keep using your tax dollars
325
00:13:12,034 --> 00:13:14,303
to teach these little monsters?
326
00:13:14,403 --> 00:13:15,738
Why do you think school
should stop at third grade?
327
00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:18,407
What did you learn
in the fourth grade
328
00:13:18,507 --> 00:13:21,009
that you still use?
Cursive?
329
00:13:21,110 --> 00:13:22,444
Now, how am I gonna
remember what I learned
330
00:13:22,544 --> 00:13:23,712
in the fourth grade?
331
00:13:23,812 --> 00:13:24,980
I don't remember
what I wore last week.
332
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:26,448
That's what I'm saying.
333
00:13:26,615 --> 00:13:29,651
If you can't remember what
you learned in the fourth grade,
334
00:13:29,752 --> 00:13:31,954
then why did you
need to go past the third?
335
00:13:32,054 --> 00:13:34,123
Now, that's a valid point.
336
00:13:34,223 --> 00:13:36,024
'Cause I can't tell you nothing
I learned past third grade.
337
00:13:36,125 --> 00:13:39,228
Mm-hmm. I want you
you to prove me wrong.
338
00:13:39,328 --> 00:13:42,798
Popularity in school
does matter.
339
00:13:42,898 --> 00:13:44,266
Prove me wrong!
340
00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:47,469
-I think when you're showered
with attention -Yeah.
341
00:13:47,636 --> 00:13:49,638
and coddled, like,
too early, like,
342
00:13:49,671 --> 00:13:51,106
-all the people like you--
-Mm.
343
00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:54,209
-it's not good for-for
your development. -Ment--
344
00:13:54,309 --> 00:13:55,377
Now, where'd you go to school?
345
00:13:55,477 --> 00:13:56,945
-Uh, in Germany.
-Germany?
346
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,313
Yeah, southern Germany.
347
00:13:58,414 --> 00:14:01,417
So you're saying that-that
you shouldn't be popular
348
00:14:01,517 --> 00:14:04,553
because the popular kids
349
00:14:04,653 --> 00:14:06,688
end up selling schnitzel
or some shit.
350
00:14:06,789 --> 00:14:09,658
Which is not bad
for itself, right?
351
00:14:09,691 --> 00:14:10,993
But, yeah, I-I'd say so.
352
00:14:11,093 --> 00:14:15,164
There is no reason
to teach spelling anymore.
353
00:14:15,264 --> 00:14:17,666
-Prove me wrong. -Spelling
is so important. Sorry.
354
00:14:17,699 --> 00:14:18,934
-Why? -I don't-I don't mean
to be rude, but, I mean,
355
00:14:19,034 --> 00:14:20,736
-spelling is, like--
-You're not being rude.
356
00:14:20,836 --> 00:14:22,404
I said "prove me wrong,"
you walked over here.
357
00:14:22,504 --> 00:14:24,339
I mean, spelling is, like,
358
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:25,908
it's the first thing
you learn in school.
359
00:14:26,008 --> 00:14:28,177
We have all of these computers
that tell us,
360
00:14:28,277 --> 00:14:30,612
"Hey, the words
are spelled wrong."
361
00:14:30,646 --> 00:14:32,281
What about the people
who aren't as lucky as us
362
00:14:32,381 --> 00:14:34,650
who don't have the technology
to have autocorrect?
363
00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:37,453
And they're-- You know,
maybe they're still writing...
364
00:14:37,619 --> 00:14:39,288
I don't know.
Like, people around the world.
365
00:14:39,388 --> 00:14:41,256
I've-I've-- Yeah.
I haven't lived that life,
366
00:14:41,356 --> 00:14:43,826
-but I know they exist. -No, I'm
only talking about the-the...
367
00:14:43,926 --> 00:14:46,128
-the fools here.
-Okay, so this is a...
368
00:14:46,228 --> 00:14:48,430
"no reason to teach spelling
anymore in the U.S."?
369
00:14:48,530 --> 00:14:51,166
Listen, I'm an American.
I don't think about anyone else.
370
00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:53,502
-(chuckles): Okay. -Why would
I think this extrapolates
371
00:14:53,635 --> 00:14:54,837
-to the rest of the world?
-Well, I'm jealous of you.
372
00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:57,339
I'm jealous-- I-I wish I could
just think about myself.
373
00:14:57,439 --> 00:14:59,775
Attractive people shouldn't be
allowed to be teachers.
374
00:14:59,875 --> 00:15:01,210
Prove me wrong!
375
00:15:01,310 --> 00:15:04,880
Well, I think attractiveness
is a very subjective thing.
376
00:15:04,980 --> 00:15:06,815
He could be attractive to you
and not to me.
377
00:15:06,915 --> 00:15:09,852
There's no way we can,
like, say, "Ugly people."
378
00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:11,954
-I don't want to play this game.
We know who's ugly. -(laughs)
379
00:15:12,054 --> 00:15:13,856
We do this all the time,
as people. It's like,
380
00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:16,658
"Oh, attractiveness
is relative." No, it's not.
381
00:15:16,725 --> 00:15:18,827
I definitely paid more attention
in class
382
00:15:18,927 --> 00:15:20,696
-when there was
an attractive teacher. -I agree.
383
00:15:20,796 --> 00:15:22,498
I failed math four times.
384
00:15:22,664 --> 00:15:24,733
You only get
to take it four times.
385
00:15:24,833 --> 00:15:26,402
-Yeah, I... -You failed it
all four times? -(laughs)
386
00:15:26,502 --> 00:15:29,138
No, I finally passed
on the fourth time, actually.
387
00:15:29,238 --> 00:15:31,206
But what about all
the other math you had to take?
388
00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:33,208
I think your counting
might be still off.
389
00:15:33,308 --> 00:15:34,676
Had a hot physics teacher.
390
00:15:34,777 --> 00:15:36,145
Don't know what physics are.
391
00:15:36,245 --> 00:15:38,247
I know biology's is bodies.
392
00:15:38,347 --> 00:15:40,215
-Chemistry's is the chemicals.
-Mm-hmm.
393
00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:41,717
What the hell is physics,
physicals?
394
00:15:41,817 --> 00:15:44,987
I think a hot or not teacher
doing physics isn't gonna help.
395
00:15:45,087 --> 00:15:46,021
Well, thank you so much.
396
00:15:46,121 --> 00:15:48,290
I think
we've figured out that...
397
00:15:48,390 --> 00:15:50,993
hot teachers are a detriment
to us all.
398
00:15:51,093 --> 00:15:53,228
-Wait, we... (laughs)
-Disagree. (laughs)
399
00:15:53,328 --> 00:15:54,730
Are you a teacher?!
400
00:15:55,697 --> 00:15:57,266
Really?! What school is this?!
401
00:15:57,366 --> 00:15:58,634
Can I enroll?!
402
00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:00,335
See, that's my point.
You can't have hot teachers.
403
00:16:00,436 --> 00:16:02,438
I wouldn't learn shit with him
standing in front of me.
404
00:16:02,538 --> 00:16:04,306
Did you see them pecs
on that man?
405
00:16:04,406 --> 00:16:06,909
The disrespect.
He should be fired immediately.
406
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:09,044
♪ ♪
407
00:16:10,245 --> 00:16:11,880
Thank you so much for that,
Dulcé. All right, stay tuned,
408
00:16:11,980 --> 00:16:14,216
because when we come back,
Xolo Maridueña
409
00:16:14,316 --> 00:16:15,451
will be joining me on the show.
410
00:16:15,551 --> 00:16:16,652
You don't want to miss it.
411
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:18,721
(cheering and applause)
412
00:16:27,964 --> 00:16:29,999
(cheering)
413
00:16:33,236 --> 00:16:34,770
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
414
00:16:34,871 --> 00:16:38,040
My guest tonight
will soon be known everywhere
415
00:16:38,140 --> 00:16:40,209
as the D.C. superhero
Blue Beetle,
416
00:16:40,309 --> 00:16:42,044
but today he's here
to talk about being in
417
00:16:42,144 --> 00:16:44,280
the new season of Cobra Kai,
418
00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:46,449
which is streaming
right now on Netflix.
419
00:16:46,549 --> 00:16:48,618
-She finally text you back?
-Yeah. Says
420
00:16:48,718 --> 00:16:49,752
she wants to, uh, talk to me.
421
00:16:49,852 --> 00:16:51,320
(sharp inhale)
422
00:16:51,420 --> 00:16:52,488
What did she say, exactly?
423
00:16:52,588 --> 00:16:54,657
"We should talk tonight."
424
00:16:54,757 --> 00:16:56,025
What?
425
00:16:56,125 --> 00:16:58,327
It says "we should talk"?
426
00:16:58,427 --> 00:17:00,530
-Oh, brother, you're in deep.
-I mean, she's right,
427
00:17:00,630 --> 00:17:02,532
We should talk. The last time
we spoke we had a huge fight.
428
00:17:02,632 --> 00:17:06,369
Yeah, but "we should talk" is
code for "I-I want to break up."
429
00:17:06,469 --> 00:17:08,704
-What? It is? Wha--
-Not necessarily.
430
00:17:08,804 --> 00:17:10,273
Moon is really big
on communication.
431
00:17:10,373 --> 00:17:12,074
Maybe Sam does just
actually does want to talk?
432
00:17:12,175 --> 00:17:14,210
No, no, we need more
information. Uh,
433
00:17:14,310 --> 00:17:16,512
we should send a trial balloon.
Something that
434
00:17:16,612 --> 00:17:17,680
puts the ball in her court.
435
00:17:17,780 --> 00:17:20,349
Please welcome Xolo Maridueña.
436
00:17:20,449 --> 00:17:22,485
-♪ ♪
-(cheering, applause)
437
00:17:36,165 --> 00:17:37,800
-Xolo Maridueña, welcome
to the show. -Yes. Thank you.
438
00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:39,702
-Thank you for having me.
-It's so good to have you here.
439
00:17:39,802 --> 00:17:42,738
You-you are experiencing
a trajectory
440
00:17:42,839 --> 00:17:45,174
that few people
have ever experienced.
441
00:17:45,274 --> 00:17:47,076
Obviously, people love you
on Cobra Kai, you know?
442
00:17:47,176 --> 00:17:49,478
Every outlet from E! News
443
00:17:49,579 --> 00:17:51,080
all the way through to, like--
444
00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:54,283
every publication online is
just like, you are the it guy.
445
00:17:54,383 --> 00:17:55,585
I-I think I read somewhere,
446
00:17:55,685 --> 00:17:57,854
they said you are
the Internet's boyfriend.
447
00:17:57,954 --> 00:18:00,089
-The Internet's boyfriend.
Okay. That's-- -Yeah.
448
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:01,490
I haven't heard
that one before.
449
00:18:01,591 --> 00:18:04,160
I should-- I think
my mom maybe wrote that.
450
00:18:04,260 --> 00:18:05,895
Maybe she was-she was--
I think maybe she was
451
00:18:05,995 --> 00:18:07,597
-putting in a good word for me.
-But you really are
452
00:18:07,697 --> 00:18:09,098
-having a great run.
Congratulations -Thank you.
453
00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:10,633
I mean, Cobra Kai--
what is it, season five now?
454
00:18:10,733 --> 00:18:13,102
Season five, yeah, yeah.
I hope we get to do another one.
455
00:18:13,202 --> 00:18:14,303
-(cheering, applause)
-Seems like you will.
456
00:18:14,403 --> 00:18:16,506
-Five seasons.
-It seems like you will.
457
00:18:16,606 --> 00:18:18,608
It's a really popular show.
I-I've always wondered this--
458
00:18:18,708 --> 00:18:20,109
you know, because
the show is so popular,
459
00:18:20,209 --> 00:18:22,812
I grew up watching
The Karate Kid, right? -Right.
460
00:18:22,912 --> 00:18:26,115
And then I see this show,
and then you're on it,
461
00:18:26,182 --> 00:18:28,784
and I'm like,
"You weren't even alive
462
00:18:28,885 --> 00:18:30,820
-No. No. -when
the The Karate Kid came out."
463
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:32,755
I was barely alive when
the Jaden Smith one came out.
464
00:18:32,855 --> 00:18:34,524
-I-I... I, uh...
- (laughing)
465
00:18:34,624 --> 00:18:36,058
No, I had seen it, though.
466
00:18:36,125 --> 00:18:37,493
-I mean, it-it's pivotal.
-Okay, okay, okay.
467
00:18:37,593 --> 00:18:40,096
It's every, yeah, I feel like
everyone has seen it, right?
468
00:18:40,196 --> 00:18:42,165
-I-I... Yeah, it's...
-(applause)
469
00:18:42,265 --> 00:18:44,367
It definitely is-is, uh...
470
00:18:44,467 --> 00:18:47,203
-something that only until
the show had released -Yeah.
471
00:18:47,303 --> 00:18:50,072
did I realize was so close
to so many people's hearts.
472
00:18:50,139 --> 00:18:52,475
-It-it's like, it-it's part
of the lore. -Mm-hmm.
473
00:18:52,575 --> 00:18:53,876
It's part of, you know,
it went around the world...
474
00:18:53,976 --> 00:18:56,279
It's like they got their own
Marvel Cinematic Universe.
475
00:18:56,379 --> 00:18:58,548
They're bringing people
from the past. Yeah, they're...
476
00:18:58,648 --> 00:19:00,249
-It does feel like that.
-Yeah, yeah.
477
00:19:00,349 --> 00:19:02,251
-Let's talk a little bit about,
um, the show itself. -Yes.
478
00:19:02,351 --> 00:19:04,487
You know, you're learning
martial arts and everything.
479
00:19:04,587 --> 00:19:05,688
-You're learning your karate.
-Mm-hmm, yeah.
480
00:19:05,788 --> 00:19:06,889
Do-do you actually learn?
481
00:19:06,989 --> 00:19:08,891
'Cause I like how people
get to learn the stuff
482
00:19:08,991 --> 00:19:09,892
on the shows they're doing.
483
00:19:09,992 --> 00:19:11,227
Can you fight?
484
00:19:11,327 --> 00:19:13,129
I can fight, yes.
485
00:19:13,229 --> 00:19:14,397
-I don't know
if I can fight well. -Ah.
486
00:19:14,497 --> 00:19:17,667
I think, if I were to be
in a fight in real life,
487
00:19:17,767 --> 00:19:19,202
I'd be like, "Can you throw it
with the other hand?
488
00:19:19,302 --> 00:19:21,003
I only know how to block it
on this side."
489
00:19:21,103 --> 00:19:22,505
-I practiced it this way.
-Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
490
00:19:22,605 --> 00:19:24,106
"If there was a camera,
I'd beat you up right."
491
00:19:24,173 --> 00:19:25,541
-Exactly, exactly, exactly.
-It's that type of vibe. Yes.
492
00:19:25,641 --> 00:19:29,111
But, uh, you know, I was very
fortunate that the character
493
00:19:29,212 --> 00:19:30,847
didn't know karate either
at the beginning.
494
00:19:30,947 --> 00:19:33,382
So I was able to play it along.
495
00:19:33,482 --> 00:19:34,817
Like, I remember being
in the chemistry read
496
00:19:34,917 --> 00:19:37,653
and-and faking that
I couldn't do a push-up.
497
00:19:37,753 --> 00:19:39,722
And they were like,
"This guy's hilarious.
498
00:19:39,822 --> 00:19:40,823
This guy's...
this guy's our guy."
499
00:19:40,923 --> 00:19:42,124
And I was like, "What?"
500
00:19:42,225 --> 00:19:43,626
"His timing is crazy."
501
00:19:43,726 --> 00:19:45,061
But now you've gotten better,
I'm assuming.
502
00:19:45,094 --> 00:19:46,662
But now I can do a push-up, yes.
503
00:19:46,762 --> 00:19:50,433
-(laughter and applause)
-Yeah.
504
00:19:51,300 --> 00:19:52,902
Um...
505
00:19:53,069 --> 00:19:55,338
You know,
the-the show is beloved.
506
00:19:55,438 --> 00:19:57,406
You are also somebody
who people are getting to know.
507
00:19:57,507 --> 00:19:59,775
You-You've had a really
interesting journey.
508
00:19:59,876 --> 00:20:01,244
I mean, you started acting
at the age of ten, I believe.
509
00:20:01,344 --> 00:20:02,445
Ten, yeah, yeah.
510
00:20:02,545 --> 00:20:04,981
Like, how are you normal?
511
00:20:05,081 --> 00:20:06,716
-I...
-No, and I ask this honestly.
512
00:20:06,816 --> 00:20:08,885
I feel like a lot of child stars
aren't well-adjusted,
513
00:20:08,985 --> 00:20:10,720
and as they grow up,
they become, they become like...
514
00:20:10,820 --> 00:20:12,321
And I understand
what happens to them.
515
00:20:12,421 --> 00:20:13,656
-I'm not even blaming them.
-No, no, no.
516
00:20:13,756 --> 00:20:15,791
But you seem normal.
You know, I-I met your mom.
517
00:20:15,892 --> 00:20:18,394
-She's great and...
-Yeah, she's like...
518
00:20:18,494 --> 00:20:19,595
Yeah, she's normal as well.
519
00:20:19,695 --> 00:20:20,763
I, you know, I think...
520
00:20:20,863 --> 00:20:22,999
I mean, I-I to public school
most of my life.
521
00:20:23,099 --> 00:20:25,101
Like, I, even in high school,
I was,
522
00:20:25,134 --> 00:20:27,170
I kept along
with the curriculum.
523
00:20:27,270 --> 00:20:29,906
-I was in a regular high school.
I-I... -Okay.
524
00:20:30,039 --> 00:20:32,108
And my-my core group of friends
are the friends
525
00:20:32,208 --> 00:20:33,176
that I've had
for the longest time,
526
00:20:33,276 --> 00:20:34,177
-I think.
-That's the secret.
527
00:20:34,277 --> 00:20:36,045
A-And I was also really blessed
528
00:20:36,078 --> 00:20:38,114
that Cobra Kai blew up
over the pandemic.
529
00:20:38,214 --> 00:20:40,283
So I wasn't,
I wasn't out and about.
530
00:20:40,383 --> 00:20:41,851
-Right, right, right.
-There wasn't, like,
531
00:20:41,951 --> 00:20:44,587
walking around with, you know,
the Stranger Things kids,
532
00:20:44,687 --> 00:20:45,855
like, "Oh, don't take pictures!"
533
00:20:45,955 --> 00:20:49,125
It was, it was--
I was at home like, "Oh, man."
534
00:20:49,225 --> 00:20:50,893
(both laugh)
535
00:20:51,060 --> 00:20:53,529
Going to Trader Joe's
with my mask on, like,
536
00:20:53,629 --> 00:20:55,331
-"Guys? Nobody?"
-"Do you know who's under here?"
537
00:20:55,431 --> 00:20:58,534
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Oh...
538
00:20:58,634 --> 00:21:01,204
It's-it's-it's-it's been so cool
to see y-your rise because,
539
00:21:01,304 --> 00:21:02,338
I mean, obviously
Cobra Kai is great,
540
00:21:02,438 --> 00:21:04,674
but now, I mean,
to be a superhero--
541
00:21:04,774 --> 00:21:06,642
this is, this is almost
everyone's dream.
542
00:21:06,742 --> 00:21:11,147
You know, DC tapped you as the
Blue Beetle, which is historic,
543
00:21:11,247 --> 00:21:14,116
and what's also impressive is
that you-- they didn't ask you
544
00:21:14,217 --> 00:21:15,318
to audition for the role.
545
00:21:15,418 --> 00:21:16,586
No.
546
00:21:16,686 --> 00:21:18,154
I think-- you know,
I was very fortunate.
547
00:21:18,254 --> 00:21:21,224
I-I had met the director Angel
Manuel Soto, who is, who is--
548
00:21:21,324 --> 00:21:23,659
you know, I-I give him credit
for all of this
549
00:21:23,759 --> 00:21:25,228
because he-he really believed
in me.
550
00:21:25,328 --> 00:21:28,698
And, uh, I had met him
at-at Sundance
551
00:21:28,798 --> 00:21:30,032
a few years prior to the movie
552
00:21:30,132 --> 00:21:32,568
and, and I guess I left
somewhat of an impression,
553
00:21:32,668 --> 00:21:34,070
and he had watched the show
and he was like,
554
00:21:34,170 --> 00:21:35,438
"Ah, I think this is perfect."
555
00:21:35,538 --> 00:21:36,906
And obviously
we had had conversations.
556
00:21:37,039 --> 00:21:39,709
It wasn't like I got a call
like, "You got it.
557
00:21:39,809 --> 00:21:41,444
-You're the guy," and I was
like... -That would be great.
558
00:21:41,544 --> 00:21:42,845
Yes, that would,
that would be great.
559
00:21:42,945 --> 00:21:44,113
-"You are the Blue Beetle."
-"You are..."
560
00:21:44,213 --> 00:21:45,515
I'm like, "What? Okay."
561
00:21:45,615 --> 00:21:48,284
A package gets sent
with the scarab-- no, no, no.
562
00:21:48,384 --> 00:21:50,520
Um, but we had
conversations about it.
563
00:21:50,620 --> 00:21:52,221
-Yeah. -And I think we were
really on the same page
564
00:21:52,321 --> 00:21:55,224
with what the movie,
what the movie meant, you know,
565
00:21:55,324 --> 00:21:58,728
not only to myself and him
but to the greater community.
566
00:21:58,828 --> 00:22:00,863
-Right, right, right.
-The greater, uh, you know,
567
00:22:00,963 --> 00:22:02,398
-brown community?
-Yeah, definitely.
568
00:22:02,498 --> 00:22:04,066
-Latino community?
-Yeah, no.
569
00:22:04,100 --> 00:22:06,836
And we were on the same page,
so we were like, "Let's do it!"
570
00:22:06,936 --> 00:22:10,806
-(applause) -It means
so much to the community...
571
00:22:10,907 --> 00:22:14,243
It-it also means so much to see
somebody as young as you
572
00:22:14,343 --> 00:22:17,146
in an industry that for so long
was defined in a certain way
573
00:22:17,246 --> 00:22:18,881
redefining
what that industry is.
574
00:22:18,981 --> 00:22:22,451
I-- you know, I-I wonder, even
beyond how people perceive you,
575
00:22:22,552 --> 00:22:24,287
how do you process
the world that you're in,
576
00:22:24,387 --> 00:22:26,088
you know, with social media,
with all these things?
577
00:22:26,155 --> 00:22:28,491
Because the previous generation
of actors and, and celebrities
578
00:22:28,591 --> 00:22:30,026
didn't have to deal with that.
579
00:22:30,126 --> 00:22:31,661
D-Do you ever find
that there's a lot of pressure
580
00:22:31,761 --> 00:22:33,529
to be in two worlds? You
can't just focus on what you do?
581
00:22:33,629 --> 00:22:35,231
You have to focus
on how people see you online?
582
00:22:35,331 --> 00:22:36,332
Or is that just part
of your life?
583
00:22:36,432 --> 00:22:39,635
I-- Yes, I think
it definitely is...
584
00:22:39,735 --> 00:22:41,037
-something to think about.
-Mm-hmm.
585
00:22:41,070 --> 00:22:42,672
But, also, I-I like to have fun.
586
00:22:42,772 --> 00:22:44,874
I-- Like, I-I definitely am
a big proponent of, like,
587
00:22:45,041 --> 00:22:46,542
you can't-- you can't
take yourself too seriously.
588
00:22:46,642 --> 00:22:50,146
Like, I-I would love to do Vogue
and stuff like that,
589
00:22:50,246 --> 00:22:52,281
-but, also, I, uh...
-(laughs)
590
00:22:52,381 --> 00:22:53,616
...pull out my butt cheeks
all the time.
591
00:22:53,716 --> 00:22:56,686
Like, I-I... I'm definitely
a normal 21-year-old.
592
00:22:56,786 --> 00:22:58,454
And-and my family was super...
593
00:22:58,554 --> 00:23:01,490
Like, they are also always like,
"Just-- You're also a kid.
594
00:23:01,591 --> 00:23:04,360
-Like, you can be a kid,
and that's okay." -Yeah.
595
00:23:04,460 --> 00:23:06,762
And-and, obviously, there's
a sense of professionalism
596
00:23:06,863 --> 00:23:08,798
-that comes with being
in this industry. -Right, right.
597
00:23:08,898 --> 00:23:10,566
But that all kind of came
naturally,
598
00:23:10,666 --> 00:23:12,869
-working around adults
all the time and-and... -Mm-hmm.
599
00:23:12,969 --> 00:23:15,605
The first show that I ever
worked on for a couple years,
600
00:23:15,705 --> 00:23:17,473
uh, was this show
called Parenthood,
601
00:23:17,573 --> 00:23:18,941
and I was around only adults.
602
00:23:19,075 --> 00:23:21,077
So it was-- it was kind of odd
being around, like,
603
00:23:21,110 --> 00:23:22,678
Ray Romano or these guys.
604
00:23:22,778 --> 00:23:24,146
And I was just like,
"Yeah, we're-we're having
605
00:23:24,247 --> 00:23:25,681
-regular conversations and..."
-These are my coworkers.
606
00:23:25,781 --> 00:23:27,116
Yeah, these are my coworkers.
607
00:23:27,216 --> 00:23:28,351
And then I would go back
to school.
608
00:23:28,451 --> 00:23:31,220
Like, nobody would believe me,
'cause nobody at--
609
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:33,222
as a middle schooler,
watched Parenthood.
610
00:23:33,322 --> 00:23:34,891
-They were like-- So...
-(laughs)
611
00:23:35,024 --> 00:23:36,626
They were like,
"My mom's cried to you."
612
00:23:36,726 --> 00:23:39,395
But I don't-- I don't know.
The-- So, I-I was...
613
00:23:39,495 --> 00:23:42,064
You know, with the social media,
I-I've been able to, uh,
614
00:23:42,165 --> 00:23:44,400
-kind of just do me, I suppose.
-I like that. I like...
615
00:23:44,500 --> 00:23:45,935
-Thanks. -I think
that's a great motto for life,
616
00:23:46,035 --> 00:23:48,037
is, like, you know, do
what you do, work really hard,
617
00:23:48,137 --> 00:23:49,238
but always remember
618
00:23:49,338 --> 00:23:50,773
-to pull your butt cheeks out.
-Always remember
619
00:23:50,873 --> 00:23:52,842
-to pull your butt cheeks out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. -I like that.
620
00:23:52,942 --> 00:23:54,443
-Congratulations on everything.
-Thank you. Thank you,
621
00:23:54,544 --> 00:23:55,912
-thank you. -Thank you
for coming on the show.
622
00:23:56,045 --> 00:23:58,281
Xolo Maridueña, everybody.
We're gonna take a quick break,
623
00:23:58,381 --> 00:24:00,850
but we'll be right back
after this.
624
00:24:00,950 --> 00:24:02,451
Thank you, my dude. For real.
625
00:24:02,552 --> 00:24:04,587
(cheering and applause)
626
00:24:09,203 --> 00:24:10,204
Well, that's our show
for tonight!
627
00:24:10,304 --> 00:24:11,672
Charlamagne is coming up next!
628
00:24:11,772 --> 00:24:13,808
Now here it is,
Your Moment of Zen.
629
00:24:13,908 --> 00:24:16,310
The best thing to do,
probably, is do not tweet.
630
00:24:16,410 --> 00:24:17,445
(tweet)
631
00:24:17,545 --> 00:24:19,146
But if you must tweet...
632
00:24:19,246 --> 00:24:20,614
(tweeting)
633
00:24:20,715 --> 00:24:22,850
...and I am guilty
of that offense myself...
634
00:24:22,950 --> 00:24:25,186
-(tweeting)
-...remember that your tweets
635
00:24:25,286 --> 00:24:27,788
-can and will be used
against you... -(tweeting)
636
00:24:27,888 --> 00:24:31,258
(echoing):
...that the Internet is forever.