[theme music]
ANNOUNCER: Coming to you from New
York City, the only city in America, it's The Daily Show.
Tonight, Alex Jones has to pay, the series
finale of the January 6 hearings,
and Quintessa Swindell.
This is The Daily Show with Trevor Noah.
[cheering]
Hey, what's going on everybody?
Welcome to The Daily Show.
I'm Trevor Noah.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
Thank you for coming out in person.
Thank you so much.
Muchas gracias.
Take a seat, everybody.
Take a seat.
We've got a great show for you tonight.
Inflation is still inflating.
We have some never before seen footage of the work being done
by Trump's special master.
And Alex Jones needs to borrow a few bucks.
So let's do this, people.
Let's jump straight into today's headlines.
[cheering]
All right, all right, folks.
I'm going to be honest.
With all the news that happened today,
I just don't think we have enough space in today's show.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I tried everything to fit it in.
I even tried to unscrew the legs,
and then take off the cushions, and turn the news
sideways so it would fit.
But it just-- it didn't work, and there's not enough time.
Luckily--
[sighing]
--not enough time is just enough time
for a segment we call Ain't Nobody Got Time for That.
[cheering]
All right, let's kick things off with some news
about the US economy.
Remember how the Fed raised interest
rates a thousand times in the last week
to try and stop inflation?
Well, it turns out it didn't work.
REPORTER: Breaking news on the economy,
inflation shows no signs of slowing down.
The last inflation report before the midterm elections,
take a look at some of these numbers--
shows that prices rose 8.2% between September
2021 and September 2022.
Gasoline prices up more than 18%
from last year, food prices still up 11%.
REPORTER: Turkey up 20% from this time last year,
eggs up 27%, butter 25%, and then look at the little candy
corn graphic.
Halloween candy up a whopping 34% across the board.
That's right, people.
Halloween candy up 34%.
I love how they say it like it's necessary to live.
What are we going to do without it?
Once again, inflation numbers are out,
and prices are still going up, affecting everything
from gas to Halloween candy.
And not only that, razorblades are up 52%.
Now what am I supposed to put in the candy?
Oh, how do I live?
I will say, a 34% increase in candy, that is a lot.
It's so expensive.
Parents are going to start encouraging their kids to get
into strange vans, you know?
Just, like, look, look, Timmy, the stranger
says he's got free candy.
And in this economy, we've got to take a shot, buddy.
We got to do it.
You got AirTag.
I'll find you.
[cheering]
For real, people, all this inflation is
just not sustainable, right?
Because here's the thing.
Inflation is a lot like masturbation, right?
Yeah, a little bit is completely natural.
But once you start noticing it in restaurants
and car dealerships, things have gotten out of hand.
And, look, if we had more time, we
could talk about the Federal Reserve,
and it looks like how they're going
to keep raising interest rates to try and curb
this rampant inflation.
Because that's basically the only tool that they have.
The problem is raising interest rates takes so long
to filter through the economy that this could be
too much raising interest rates,
and we just don't know it yet.
In some ways, raising interest rates is a lot
like taking mushrooms, right?
You take some-- nothing happens.
So you take some more-- nothing happens.
Then you finish the whole box.
And because this stuff clearly doesn't work,
(DISTORTED) what, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, man.
Oh.
Oh, OK.
I can fix this with some [inaudible]..
[applause]
I-- I just met God, and he's a gorilla.
Oh.
All right!
We don't have time for this!
Because while everyone's bills are going up,
one of the worst people of all time
just got the biggest bill of all time.
Tonight, the stunning verdict,
conspiracy theorist Alex Jones ordered
to pay nearly $1,000,000,000 for spreading falsehoods
about the Sandy Hook shooting.
REPORTER: Jones was not in the courtroom for the verdict,
but immediately reacted on his online show,
calling the attorneys for the victims'
families ambulance chasers and mocking the verdict.
MAN: $120 million--
Yeah!
Woo!
57 million, 20 million, 50 million, 80 million,
100 million, blah, blah.
You get a million.
You get 100 million.
You get a 50 million.
MAN: Slander damages past--
They actually believe they're getting this money.
It's like they believe all their own stuff.
What a dick.
You know, I used to watch American movies as a kid.
And I always thought the bad guys that were in the movies
were fake.
And then I came to this country,
and bad guys are literally in their lair
like, (SINISTER VOICE) you have seen the last of me!
[laughs]
But that's right.
For defaming the parents and the first responders of Sandy
Hook when he accused them of faking the shooting,
Alex Jones has been ordered to pay $965 million.
[cheering]
Yeah.
Which is a huge amount of money.
You know you [bleep] up when even
your great, great grandkids will
have to declare bankruptcy.
Yeah, he's basically got millions of sperm swimming
around in his balls, and every single one of them
is a broke-ass bitch right now.
Every single one.
[applause]
And, by the way-- by the way, good luck
to Alex Jones's lawyer, trying to get clients after this,
you know?
Like, what's your selling point?
You know, in my last case, the jury awarded $1,000,000,000.
Wow, to your client?
Well, to a client.
[laughs]
Now, if we had more time, we could talk about
how Jones's conspiracy theories have only
become more mainstream since Sandy Hook,
and that there's not enough billion dollar judgments
in the world to change the fact that one fifth of Americans
think that Sandy Hook might have been staged.
But we can't get into all of that.
Because while Alex Jones's trial is over,
Andy Warhol's is just beginning.
The Supreme Court heard a case today
involving one of the most famous
artists in American history.
The justices are deciding whether Andy Warhol illegally
copied another artist's work.
REPORTER: They're among Andy Warhol's
most iconic portraits, the silkscreen images of prints.
The image was based on a 1981 photograph by Lynne Goldsmith.
She sued Warhol's foundation, claiming
copyright infringement.
The justices did find some lighter
moments, when Clarence Thomas revealed his musical tastes.
CLARENCE THOMAS: Let's say that I'm both a Prince fan,
which I was in the '80s, and--
ELENA KAGAN: No longer?
[laughter]
CLARENCE THOMAS: Well, only on Thursday night.
(DEEP VOICE) Oh, yeah.
Justice Thomas, I'll see you, you little freak nasty.
Oh.
Six days a week, it's shapeless black robes.
But then Thursday night hits, and you got that full bush
of chest hair popping out.
Yeah.
I know a lot of people right now might be wondering
why Thomas only listens to Prince on Thursday
night specifically.
But, you see, Clarence Thomas is an originalist.
And it says right there in the Constitution,
Thursday night is [bleep] night.
Yeah, it says it.
It says it.
We always go back.
I don't know why they put that in there, but they did.
But, yeah, the big question in this case
is if Andy Warhol simply copied the Prince picture
or if he made it his own by transforming it.
And it just so happens that I am an art expert.
Yeah, so I'm uniquely qualified to answer this question.
Now, if you compare them, and you look very closely,
you'll see he made it red and purple
with some squiggly things.
And I'm sorry.
I'm such an art geek that this is probably
going all over your heads.
The bottom line is I think it is differenter
than the other one.
That's what I'm saying.
[laughter]
Now, look-- now, look, if we have the time,
we could talk about how it's weird that the Supreme Court
is the only place where you get to be
an expert on every single issue in the world.
It's why-- well, actually, the Supreme Court and Twitter,
but we just don't have the time for that.
Because while the Supreme Court is trying
to decide if certain artists are stealing,
it's becoming clear that a certain former President
definitely is.
REPORTER: This morning, a new twist in the investigation
into former President Trump's alleged mishandling
of classified documents at his Florida estate.
Trump told people to move boxes to his residence
at the property after advisors received
a subpoena in May for any classified documents
at Mar-a-Lago.
That witness account was corroborated
by security camera footage, which showed
people moving the boxes.
[laughter]
Yo, I'm sorry.
Trump is a legend.
Who else gets caught committing crimes with their own
security cameras?
Who are you?
How are you real?
[laughs]
[cheering]
You realize this guy's they're like, (IMITATING TRUMP)
hurry, move those classified documents so I can illegally
hide them from the FBI.
But, first-- but, first, let's all wave
at that blinking red light and tell it our names.
Donald J Trump-- the J stands for genius.
[laughter]
[applause]
There's something inspiring about it,
too, when you think about it.
You know what?
This is actually inspiring because Trump
is so bad at crime, but he gets away with so much of it.
It just shows us that we could do crime too.
Yeah, he's like the drunk couple at karaoke.
Hearing them screech through "Don't Stop
Believin'" gives you the confidence
to try "Kiss From a Rose."
And, look, if we had a little more time,
we could have so much fun talking about how Trump has
once again helped the Justice Department
crack the case against him.
Or we could even get into my personal conspiracy theory
that Ron DeSantis and his people
are probably the ones who snitched on Trump to get him
out of the presidential race.
But we don't have the time for that
because while the FBI is investigating
Trump's mishandling of classified documents,
Congress is investigating a whole different Trump crime.
And today, at their final hearing,
the January 6 Committee released never before
seen footage, showing what Nancy Pelosi and Chuck
Schumer were doing while Trump's mob was outside,
asking to have an intimate conversation
with Mike Pence's neck.
And it was pretty impressive how
they were keeping their cool and trying to get stuff done--
everything from phoning the vice president to even trying
to call in the National Guard.
But one of the craziest moments was when Nancy Pelosi pointed
out one really smelly reason the lawmakers might not be
able to stay in the Capitol.
["usa" chant]
NANCY PELOSI: What we are being told very directly
is it's going to take days for the Capitol to be OK again.
We've gotten a very bad report about the condition
of the House floor, with defecation
and all that kind of thing as well.
I just got off with the vice president.
He had the impression from Mitch
that Mitch wants to get everybody back to do it there.
CHUCK SCHUMER: Yes
NANCY PELOSI: I said, well, we're getting at counterpoint
that is it could take time to clean up
the poo-poo that they're making all over the-- literally and
figuratively-- in the Capitol.
Yup, you heard that right.
It turns out right-wing Jamiroquai
was shitting or, as Nancy Pelosi put it,
poo-pooing all over the Capitol.
And, you know, when I was watching this happen,
I thought to myself, it's so interesting
how people like Tucker Carlson were calling
Black people animals when the George
Floyd protests were happening.
But when these people were literally
shitting in the Capitol, Fox was like, these brave Patriots
are just expressing their frustration
and standing up for American democracy.
They're not the animals?
Like, I can tell you for a fact,
even in Minnesota, when shit was going down,
and people were raiding that Target, there was no Black man
who stopped in the middle of all of them and was
like, hey, yo, hold up, hold up.
Hey, yo, hold up. Hey, hold up.
Hold up.
[laughter]
[cheering]
Black Lives Matter.
[laughter]
But we don't have the time to talk about those moments
from the Committee.
Because the biggest news of the day
is that the January 6 Committee has issued a subpoena to
speak to the chief of poo-poo himself.
Happening now, the January 6 Select Committee
punctuates its final hearing before the midterm elections
with a bombshell, a subpoena for former President
Donald Trump.
So this afternoon, I am offering this resolution,
that the committee direct the chairman
to issue a subpoena for relevant documents
and testimony under oath from Donald John Trump.
Oh, shit!
[cheering]
What?
That's what the J stands for?
What a bombshell!
Oh, and also the fact that they just
subpoenaed a former President of the United States.
And, I mean, hell, yeah, finally.
How are they only deciding on this now?
Huh? Only now?
It's like doing a whole murder investigation,
and then on the last day, being like,
should we, like, talk to the murderer?
Yeah?
He might have some information about the murder-- maybe.
Now, even after this came out, everyone
assumes that Trump is not going to show up to testify.
But I feel like he's going to be a little conflicted.
Yeah, because on the one hand, yes,
he thinks this is a crooked witch
hunt that is out to get him.
But on the other hand, the ratings.
Can you imagine the ratings?
This would be like the Super Bowl meets Watergate meets
Game of Thrones meets a mandatory HR
video about sexual harassment.
Everyone will be watching.
[applause]
Everyone will be watching.
And we all know the only thing Donald Trump loves
more than ratings is grabbing classified
documents by the pussy.
And, look, whether you like Trump
or not, you've got to admit, this dude is a record breaker.
First president to be impeached twice, first president
to be subpoenaed for staging a coup, first president
to go to prison maybe, first prison to break out of prison,
first president to escape to Mexico, first President
to be blocked by his own wall, trying to escape to Mexico!
[cheering]
Now, look, if we had the time, we could
talk about Trump serving time.
But, unfortunately, we don't because it's time
for us to take an ad break.
We'll be right back.
[cheering]
[applause]
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
As we just heard, Donald Trump has been battling the Justice
Department over whether his little hoarding problem
with government documents has crossed
the line into criminality.
And if you've been following the story,
you know the documents that Trump took
from the White House are currently being
reviewed by a special master.
Well, it turns out, in an exclusive, very real
interview, The Daily Show has found
out how this process is going.
My name is Judge Raymond Dearie,
and I am currently the special master appointed to review
the files that were in former President
Trump's office in Mar-a-Lago.
I've been a judge since 1986.
I've had many great moments in my career.
This is a moment.
It's fine.
The first task is dividing the documents
into files that are classified, files that are declassified,
and files that are stuffed with cold cuts.
[laughter]
The first one I thought was just a mistake,
but now I think he thought the folders
are also a type of bread?
They're both kind of brown, I guess.
Is this where I saw myself at age 78--
sorting through an ex-president's personal stash
of America's most sensitive secrets
and his used underwear?
No.
I'd rather be on a beach or dead.
Dead sounds nice.
You know, none of this is very organized.
I mean, here, we've got what appears to be blueprints
for a nuclear [bleep].
So that should probably go in the classified pile.
But then you open it up, and inside
is just a copy of the 1983 May Beaver Hunt magazine.
Then you open up Beaver Hunt, and inside is a USB drive
that's property of the CIA.
And this thumb drive holds critical nuclear--
[computer dings]
Oh, it's actually just a digital version
of Beaver Hunt magazine.
[laughter]
Well, this could actually be interesting.
But I have found some interesting items.
This is a to-do list that just says President Macron's wife.
I'm not even sure I understand what-- oh, I get it.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
I've maintained a professional relationship with President
Trump in order to clarify the nature of the documents,
but it can be difficult because he
is, well, in the legal sense, just so stupid.
OK, but, Mr. President, did you declassify
this list of undercover counterintelligence
operatives?
DONALD TRUMP: If you're the President of the United
States, you can declassify just by saying it's declassified.
Even by thinking about it.
OK, well, how do I know if you thought about--
you know, never mind.
These spies are as good as dead anyways.
I know the country is eager for me to finish,
but there's just so, so much to go through.
Like, piles.
Help.
Dumps of piles of stuff.
Ow.
God damn it, I hate this job so much.
This is hell.
I mean, miserable, agonizing, unyielding hell.
But at least I get a free lunch.
[applause]
Good luck, special master.
All right, stay tuned because when we come back,
one of the stars of the new Black
Adam movie, Quintessa Swindell, will
be joining me on the show.
So don't go away.
[applause]
[cheering]
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
My guest tonight is an actor he stars as Cyclone
in the new superhero film, Black
Adam, which will premiere in theaters
nationwide October 21.
That is insane.
The nanobots did most of the work.
No, no, no, I'm not going to let you downplay this.
I literally just witnessed a miracle.
What?
I say something stupid?
No, it's just, you can transform
your molecular structure, grow 100 times your own size.
You're an impossibility and the world still amazes you.
I don't know, it's cool.
Thank you.
But it's not as cool as nanobots.
Please welcome, Quintessa Swindell.
[applause]
Wow!
Welcome to The Daily Show.
Thank you, man, it's a pleasure to be here.
Thank you so much.
It is a pleasure to have you here.
You know, you're in this movie, and one of the people who
is your co-star is Mo Amer, is a comedian
who I've been friends with for a very long time.
Yes.
And so he sent me a random message.
You're just like, yo, Q's coming to your show.
Yeah.
And gave me no other information.
Yeah!
[laughs]
When, who's Q, how Q, I don't know.
And then I was like, oh, which Q?
And then he's like, what do you mean which Q?
The only Q I work.
I was like, Mo, I don't keep, and now you're here.
- Yeah. - So welcome, Q.
It is I.
It is you.
If you don't know now, you know.
It's easy.
First things first.
Thanks, yeah.
Congratulations on the journey you've had.
I mean, people have seen you on Euphoria,
people have seen you on the Netflix show Trinkets,
and now to be in the DC film Black Adam with The Rock.
Yeah.
I mean, this is huge.
Yeah, no, it's absolutely incredible.
It's been a dream.
I feel like I haven't been working very long,
but I've been able to work with some truly incredible
people in this industry.
Pierce, Aldis, like Noah, Mo, Marwan, Sarah, DJ,
it's been truly incredible.
I like that.
You get to call him DJ.
Yeah, sorry.
No, no, no, I mean, don't be sorry.
I just call him DJ.
That's like, those are like the perks.
DJ, Q, I'm learning.
Right.
These are the things.
You listed those names, and every single one of them
has created a piece of a franchise
or they've been part of a franchise,
and there's so much pressure that comes with that.
But what you're doing is really unique in that you are playing
a character in this movie that we haven't seen in a movie
before, and that's Cyclone.
And oftentimes, people like to play
a character that they've seen, they grew up with, they saw.
Sometimes it takes the pressure off,
sometimes it adds a different pressure.
In this case, how did you feel?
Was it liberating to just set the tone?
Or were you a little nervous that this is a,
Cyclone is what you make of it?
Well, I think it's a little bit of both.
I think like with what you said, Cyclone has become such
a, like an important person, an important character
in my life, and she's formed so much
of like how I enter spaces now and how I embrace myself more.
So there wasn't like any pressure other than to just
like be my most like authentic self
and embrace myself and trust more, honestly.
I love that.
So, yeah.
I really love that.
Yeah, yeah.
Have you have you ever struggled with that?
Because you give off this air.
In every interview that you do, every screening, every vibe,
you give off this energy of just being
comfortable in who you are.
I mean, when the news came out, you
know, that DC was celebrating the fact that you were
the first known non-binary person playing a character
in this universe, even that, you just seem to just carry
with you and you're like, yeah, this is who I am,
this is how I'm living my life.
Like where did you get that swag from?
I'd love to know.
I don't know.
I mean, it's taken like quite a bit of time
to like embrace that part of myself.
I feel like so much of my life I've always been searching
for who I am, my identity, my family,
my friends, everything.
And like I said in the beginning,
like I've been so lucky to have representations of who I want
to be each step of the way.
That's cool.
Whether it's, whether it's the people
that I'm working with or just the people that I've been
able to meet who've helped me cultivate
who I am and embrace who I am.
And as far as like being the first known non-binary person,
I think that's so important you said that, because there could
be other non-binary people who are questioning,
trans people who aren't fully out yet.
Right.
And for me, being able to be fully out,
hopefully can serve as representation
for other people to embrace who they are
and step into themselves. - I like that.
Because yeah.
I love that.
Yeah.
You know, I love it because, I love it
because in many ways, all superhero stories are
an allegory for that journey.
It's the journey of somebody possessing two identities.
It's the journey of somebody being one person to the people
who know them and then being somebody completely different
and being their true selves.
I would love to know, what do you
think you learned about the idea of like what being a
hero is?
Ooh, OK, such a good question.
I mean, I feel like for me, it shifted,
because you begin to question what you've
been indoctrinated to believe.
For me personally, it's how as a Western society
do we view justice.
And do we have the power to go elsewhere and rid a problem
just like in Black Adam? - Yes.
We're telling him to be a hero,
but he's already a hero for his people.
And I think in today's society and in this world,
we see that so often.
People rising up and people being able to choose
who their leaders are.
And for me, that made me question that as well
and learn more and learn about what's happening in the world
today and be curious and be an advocate of that, so.
I love it.
You crushed it.
You crushed it in everything that you do,
and I'm so excited to see the film.
Thank you so much for being on the show.
Oh, man, thank you.
It's such a pleasure having you here.
Thank you.
Quintessa Swindell, everybody.
We're going to take a quick break.
We'll be right back after this.
[applause]
Well, that's our show for tonight.
Charlamagne is up next.
Now here it is, your moment of zen.
Bacon is delicious, but you cannot eat
it for breakfast every day because it
is just fat and it's bad.
So you get up, you have some Raisin Bran and fruit.
Healthy.
Healthy start to a great day.
Wrong.
All of a sudden, Raisin Bran does not qualify as healthy.