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[theme music]
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ANNOUNCER: Coming
to you from New
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York City, the only city in
America, it's The Daily Show.
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Tonight, Russia
gets down and dirty,
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what you think about
Halloween, and Diane Kruger.
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This is The Daily
Show with Trevor Noah.
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[cheering]
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What's going on, everybody?
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Welcome to The Daily Show.
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I'm Trevor Noah.
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Thank you so much
for tuning in.
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Thank you for coming
out in person.
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Look at this, so much fun.
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Oh, we're going to
have a great time.
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Take a seat.
Take a seat, everybody.
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Take a seat.
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We've got a great
show for you tonight.
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Chinatown is getting
a whole new meaning.
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Elon Musk is in all our DMs.
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And Ronny Chieng throws
eggs at Halloween.
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So let's do this, people.
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Let's jump straight
into today's headlines.
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[music playing]
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[cheering]
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All right, people, I'm
going to be honest.
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With all the news
happening right now,
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I don't think we have enough
space in today's show.
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And I try-- I tried
everything-- everything.
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I even tried putting all
the news in a panini press
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and smooshing it down,
but it didn't work.
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The news just became
crispier and more delicious.
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But we still don't
have enough time.
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Fortunately, not
enough time is just
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enough time for a segment
we call Ain't Nobody
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Got Time for That.
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[cheering]
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All right, let's kick things
off with the war in Ukraine,
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where Ukrainian forces are
continuing to make gains
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on the ground against Russia.
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And Russia is continuing
to make gains in scaring
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the shit out of everybody.
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REPORTER: Tonight Vladimir
Putin personally overseeing
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Moscow's first
major nuclear drills
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since he invaded
Ukraine, simulating
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a massive nuclear strike.
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And for the first
time, Putin issuing
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an ominous and
unfounded warning--
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[speaking russian]
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REPORTER: --that
Ukraine plans to blow up
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a dirty bomb laced with
radioactive material
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in its own territory.
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Western allies warning Russia
could use such an event
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as a false flag to blame
Ukraine for an attack
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that Moscow carries out itself.
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REPORTER: A dirty bomb
is not a nuclear bomb
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and would be less harmful.
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But by using
conventional explosives
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to spread radioactive
material, it's
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an effective weapon of terror.
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Yeah, that's right.
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Russia might be gearing up
to use a dirty bomb, which
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is a bomb that spreads
radioactive material,
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not a regular bomb
that's into kinky shit
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like you were thinking.
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Not me-- that's what you were
thinking when you heard that.
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And right now Putin
is saying that Ukraine
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is planning to use a
dirty bomb on themselves.
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But everyone can
see through this.
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We know it's just a
cover so that Putin has
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an excuse to use one on them.
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It's so transparent.
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It's like a kid going,
just so you know, Mom,
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I heard that Ukraine
is going to steal
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all the Halloween candy before
you can hand it out next week.
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So if Halloween
candy goes missing,
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you know who to blame.
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And, by the way, please
don't buy Raisinets.
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Ukraine doesn't
like those ones.
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[laughter]
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But transparent or not,
this is pretty terrifying
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and not just for Ukraine.
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Does Russia think
these things through?
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They're on the same border.
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Think about how
everything's gone wrong.
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Look at how poorly Russia's
entire invasion has gone, huh?
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Dropping a dirty
bomb will probably
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end up backfiring on Putin.
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He's going to be there in
his war room like, (RUSSIAN
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ACCENT) oh, shit, the radiation
gave all Ukrainian soldiers
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laser eyes.
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That's so cool.
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What about our soldiers?
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Did they get powers,
too, General?
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Like, yes, Mr. President,
our men can't stop pooping.
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Not as cool.
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Now, if we had more time, we
could talk about how Russia is
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also now threatening to shoot
down American satellites that
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are helping with the Ukrainian
war effort, which would be
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bad news for everybody
except Space Force
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because they finally
have something to do.
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But we don't have
the time for that.
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Because while Russia
is planning shady shit
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in Ukraine, China
is already doing
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shady shit all over the world.
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The Dutch Foreign Ministry
is investigating claims
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that China is operating at
least two unofficial police
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stations in the
Netherlands, which would
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breach diplomatic protocol.
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According to the allegations
detailed in this report,
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Beijing has been operating
underground, undeclared
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policing units to carry out
persuasion operations aimed
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at coercing those
suspected of speaking
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out against the Chinese
regime to return home.
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But what's happening
in the Netherlands
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might just be the
tip of the iceberg.
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The Spanish NGO
Safeguard Defenders
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says it's uncovered more
than 50 unofficial police
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stations around the world.
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It's found outposts in
at least 21 countries,
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including the UK, the US,
and many parts of Europe.
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OK, if this is true,
this is terrifying.
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Can you imagine China
has a secret police
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force in other
countries, where they
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harass and intimidate
Chinese dissidents
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who are living abroad?
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And then they try
and convince them
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to move back to China, which,
how does that even work, huh?
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What, are agents just
grabbing Chinese people
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abroad like, hey, we've seen
the crap you talk about China?
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You say one more
thing about China,
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and China will destroy you.
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You better shut up about China.
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You hear me?
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Oh, and, by the way, would you
like to move back to China?
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We miss you.
It's a great place.
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We've got WeChat now.
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[laughter]
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Now China claims
these offices are
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not secret police stations.
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They're just used for
administrative purposes
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like giving people driver's
licenses and stuff.
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But if that's true, why are
they keeping them all
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secret, huh?
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You don't need to be shady if
you're just doing paperwork.
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Yeah, the DMV lady is
never like, oh, you
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need to renew your passport.
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Be at this parking
lot at 0500 hours.
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Tell the man in
the green jacket
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that the sun
shines in November.
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He'll give you a briefcase with
your new passport and a gun.
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Use the gun to kill him.
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And if you don't like
your picture, come back
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and we'll retake it, OK?
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Now, if we had time, we
could talk more about
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how China is
increasingly throwing
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its weight around the world.
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Or we could figure
out the best way
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to protect ourselves
from Chinese influence
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and surveillance.
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I mean, maybe we can find
the answer on TikTok.
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But we don't have
the time for that.
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Because while China is
spreading around the world
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in secret, there's
an even bigger
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super power who just
announced her plan
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to dominate the globe.
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Fans of superstar
singer Rihanna
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have been clamoring for new
music from her for years.
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And now it appears their
wait is almost over.
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[music playing]
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Rihanna shared a
15-second teaser
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on Twitter of her new
single titled "Lift Me Up."
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It's for the upcoming
Black Panther
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movie, Wakanda Forever.
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This marks Rihanna's first
single as a lead artist in six
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long years for her fans.
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Oh, yeah!
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[cheering]
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Thank you.
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Thank you, Jesus.
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Rihanna's releasing new music.
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And on top of that,
her song is going
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to be part of the new
Black Panther movie.
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Are you kidding me?
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[cheering]
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Oh, man, that's
going to be so great.
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I mean, it's going
to be great for us.
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It won't be great
for the Wakandans
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because it's going to
be hard to concentrate
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on fighting the bad guys when
a Rihanna song starts playing.
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You know, it's going
to be like, it's
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time to defend our ho-- oh!
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Oh, surely, are you hearing
this right now, huh?
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Are you hearing this?
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Because you understand
how big this is,
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Rihanna plus Black Panther.
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What?
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I haven't experienced
this much Black joy
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since that time featured
on that Cardi B track.
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Oh, man.
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Yeah, it was just like
(IMITATING OBAMA) wap,
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wap, wap, that's right.
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I'll tell you what makes
my pussy wet-- voting.
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Vote.
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Everybody, vote.
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A wap, wap, wap.
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[applause]
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I will say, though--
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I will say, you've
got to admit, Rihanna
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is keeping us thirsty, huh?
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We've been all begging--
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we've been begging for
an album for six years.
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And now she's like, OK,
OK, I'll give you one song.
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And we're like,
thank you, Rihanna!
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Thank you, just one song.
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Now, if we had the time, we
could celebrate the release
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00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,525
of this new track
by listening to all
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of Rihanna's previous albums.
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But we don't have
the time for that.
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Because while Rihanna is about
to take over your Spotify,
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another billionaire is
taking over your tweets.
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REPORTER: One day before he's
expected to officially take
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00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:24,605
over Twitter, Elon Musk walked
back his previous promise
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to remove most
moderation on the site,
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reassuring advertisers
that it would not become
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a free-for-all hellscape,
where anything can
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be said with no consequences.
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Musk also visited
Twitter's offices,
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carrying a kitchen sink,
tweeting, "entering
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Twitter HQ, let that sink in."
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Oh.
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Oh, get it?
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Get it?
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Let that sink in.
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I know a lot of people
think that was corny.
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But I think once you
have 87 children,
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you're allowed to
make dad jokes.
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You can do it.
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It's fun.
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Let that sink in.
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What I want to know is,
where did he get that sink?
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No, I mean, it
works for the joke.
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Where did he get the sink?
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Right?
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Is it just the
one he ripped out
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00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:05,012
of the wall when the judge
told him he had to buy Twitter?
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00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:09,016
[shouts]
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00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:11,451
If anything, Elon is the right
billionaire to make this joke,
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00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:12,686
you know?
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00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:14,788
Because if Jeff Bezos walked
into Amazon with a sink,
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00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,123
his employees would
be like, oh, wow,
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we're finally
getting a restroom.
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He's like, no!
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No, go away.
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Go away.
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00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:26,200
[applause]
256
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:30,337
And as for that statement
to the advertisers that Elon
257
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:32,773
sent, I will say, it's
interesting to see Elon go
258
00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:35,309
from the free speech
cowboy of the West
259
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:37,344
to pandering to the
advertisers and saying,
260
00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:42,516
Twitter will be a safe space
for your advertising dollars.
261
00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:44,585
Yeah, the man has owned
Twitter for one minute,
262
00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:46,320
and already, he's like,
free speech is great,
263
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:47,387
but you know what
else is great?
264
00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:49,323
Money, yeah.
265
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:50,324
Mm-hmm.
266
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:51,959
Honestly, it's embarrassing.
267
00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:54,428
Yeah, not even--
not even one day
268
00:09:54,528 --> 00:09:57,464
of owning Twitter, and
Elon is already caving in
269
00:09:57,564 --> 00:10:00,934
to the advertisers,
folding like a tortilla
270
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:05,472
around a Crunch Wrap Supreme
filled with carne asada steak,
271
00:10:05,572 --> 00:10:06,974
available only at Taco Bell.
272
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:08,242
[laughter]
273
00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:09,576
What a shill.
274
00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:13,347
What a shameless,
shameless shill.
275
00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:15,082
Now, if we had
more time, we could
276
00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:17,317
get into how Twitter
can try to stay relevant
277
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:19,920
in the era of TikTok, or how
funny it would be if everyone
278
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,688
stopped using Twitter and
Elon Musk just straight up
279
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,090
lost $44 billion.
280
00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:24,591
But we don't have the
time for any of that.
281
00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:26,894
Because while Twitter
is entering a new phase,
282
00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:30,631
its top rival just got some
very bad news of its own.
283
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:32,599
REPORTER: Meta, the parent
company of Facebook,
284
00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:34,635
reported earnings
that disappointed
285
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:36,603
Wall Street in a big way--
286
00:10:36,703 --> 00:10:40,040
the stock plunging more
than 20% after the company
287
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,075
revealed that it
expects its losses
288
00:10:42,176 --> 00:10:45,612
associated with building the
Metaverse to keep growing.
289
00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:49,650
REPORTER: Meta has already
lost a staggering $9.4 billion
290
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,652
on the Metaverse
so far this year.
291
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:53,453
But Zuckerberg is vowing
to stay the course.
292
00:10:53,554 --> 00:10:54,555
MARK ZUCKERBERG
(ON PHONE): Look,
293
00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:56,890
I get that a lot
of people might
294
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,026
disagree with this investment.
295
00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:02,396
But people are going to look
back on decades from now
296
00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:04,164
and talk about the
importance of the work that
297
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:05,165
was done here.
298
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:06,667
Not a lot of sympathy
for Zuckerberg,
299
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:09,269
but the wealth destruction
across the board
300
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:10,304
here, remarkable.
301
00:11:10,404 --> 00:11:12,739
From his peak last
year, Zuckerberg
302
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,943
is down about $95 billion.
303
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:18,512
He used to be the third
richest person in the world.
304
00:11:18,612 --> 00:11:21,915
After today, he could
fall to 26 or 27.
305
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,384
Ugh, puh!
306
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:29,156
26th or 27th richest
person in the wo-- ugh!
307
00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,091
Ugh, puh!
308
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:32,326
Disgusting!
309
00:11:32,426 --> 00:11:33,527
Now what can you buy?
310
00:11:33,627 --> 00:11:34,661
Like, everything?
311
00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:36,763
Ugh.
312
00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:38,732
Yeah, thanks to his
investments in the Metaverse,
313
00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:41,969
Mark Zuckerberg has
lost $95 billion
314
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:43,904
in his personal wealth.
315
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,806
If the man was capable of
feeling human emotion right
316
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:48,775
now, he'd be stressed as hell.
317
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,978
Because keep in mind-- keep
in mind, once you fall out
318
00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:54,848
of the top 10, you no longer
get to go to the VIP area
319
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,016
at the Illuminati orgy.
320
00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:58,151
No, you're in
general admission.
321
00:11:58,252 --> 00:11:59,419
It's a terrible view.
322
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,054
You can't even see the
virgin goat sacrifice.
323
00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:02,055
What happened?
324
00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:03,056
Did it happen yet?
325
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:04,625
Did it happen?
326
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:07,060
It's actually a goat that's a
virgin, sacrificing something
327
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,295
else.
It's weird.
328
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,664
Now, before you feel sorry
for Zuckerberg, remember,
329
00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:11,798
it's not all bad for him.
330
00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:15,502
Yes, he's down $95
billion in the real world.
331
00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:18,539
But in the Metaverse, he's
still worth $10 trillion
332
00:12:18,639 --> 00:12:19,540
Zuck Bucks.
333
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:22,209
Oh, yeah.
334
00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:24,077
And I will say kudos to Mark.
335
00:12:24,178 --> 00:12:25,445
Kudos, Mark Zuckerberg.
336
00:12:25,546 --> 00:12:27,948
A lot of people have
been talking about taking
337
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,083
down big tech for a while.
338
00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:31,885
But he's the only
one with the balls
339
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:33,086
to do it to his own company.
340
00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:34,454
[laughter]
341
00:12:34,555 --> 00:12:35,923
Be the change you want
to see in the world.
342
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,624
[applause]
343
00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:39,993
He's a leader.
344
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,196
Now, if we had
more time, we could
345
00:12:42,296 --> 00:12:44,398
talk about how virtual
reality is never really going
346
00:12:44,498 --> 00:12:46,233
to catch on until
the hardware becomes
347
00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:47,367
less intrusive and cumbersome.
348
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:48,702
Because, I mean, like,
right now putting
349
00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,871
on one of those Oculus headsets
feels like I'm carrying
350
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,206
a small child on my face.
351
00:12:52,306 --> 00:12:53,440
But we don't have
the time for that
352
00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:56,643
because I must honor our
sacred sponsors with this
353
00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:58,245
precious advertisement break.
354
00:12:58,345 --> 00:12:59,246
We'll be right back.
355
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:03,050
[cheering]
356
00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:16,797
[cheering]
357
00:13:20,334 --> 00:13:21,969
Welcome back to
The Daily Show.
358
00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:26,607
You know, there's so much
arguing in America today.
359
00:13:26,707 --> 00:13:28,675
But we here at The
Daily Show think
360
00:13:28,776 --> 00:13:30,644
there could be even more.
361
00:13:30,744 --> 00:13:32,780
So to do our part,
here's Ronny Chieng
362
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,682
with another installment
of Prove Me Wrong.
363
00:13:35,783 --> 00:13:40,120
Piles of candy, hyper kids,
candy apples stuck in braces,
364
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,356
it's like Christmas
for dentists,
365
00:13:42,456 --> 00:13:46,093
except it's Prove Me
Wrong, Halloween edition.
366
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:53,067
[music playing]
367
00:13:53,167 --> 00:13:54,334
Halloween sucks.
368
00:13:54,435 --> 00:13:55,936
Prove me wrong.
Taking out--
369
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,304
But there's candy.
370
00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:58,505
RONNY CHIENG:
Dude, it's America.
371
00:13:58,605 --> 00:13:59,807
There's candy every day.
372
00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:01,241
Will you give me free candy?
373
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,544
Stop trying to get
free shit from people.
374
00:14:03,644 --> 00:14:05,512
Pay your way once
in your life, guys.
375
00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:06,814
- And the haunted houses.
- Yeah.
376
00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:08,215
What do you have to say
about the haunted houses?
377
00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:09,650
- Right.
- Those are fun.
378
00:14:09,750 --> 00:14:11,018
A little, like,
nervous system reset.
379
00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:13,320
And I can't do that on,
you know, Valentine's Day.
380
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,321
That's not fun.
381
00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:15,322
That's not the vibe.
382
00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:16,623
Yeah, I don't
like holidays where
383
00:14:16,724 --> 00:14:18,859
I sometimes shit my pants.
384
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:19,960
That sounds personal.
385
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,362
What is the
history of Halloween?
386
00:14:22,463 --> 00:14:25,599
Satan's party before
Christ comes to wipe him out.
387
00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:26,700
That's all I know.
388
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:27,768
Wait.
389
00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:29,737
So we end the year
with Jesus because we
390
00:14:29,837 --> 00:14:31,472
summon Satan during Halloween?
391
00:14:31,572 --> 00:14:33,040
People liking candy.
392
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:34,441
You-- you think
that's how this started?
393
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:35,442
Yeah.
394
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:36,810
I guess not knowing
your traditions
395
00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:39,046
is also an American tradition.
396
00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:41,615
Every other holiday is
scarier than Halloween.
397
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,283
Prove me wrong.
398
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,785
Easter-- what's
scary about Easter?
399
00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:46,186
Chocolate--
RONNY CHIENG: No.
400
00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:47,387
--bunnies.
401
00:14:47,488 --> 00:14:50,224
Easter, there's a giant
bunny that shits chocolate
402
00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:51,558
that we pick up and eat.
403
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:54,728
I think Chinese New Year
is less scary than Halloween.
404
00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:56,397
We're talking
about there's drag--
405
00:14:56,497 --> 00:14:58,031
there's like, lion dancers.
406
00:14:58,132 --> 00:15:00,434
People are letting off
fireworks and crackers.
407
00:15:00,534 --> 00:15:02,836
I mean, you just have to
keep your head on swivel
408
00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:04,371
and just keep
lighting fireworks.
409
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:07,241
OK, look at these other
American holidays, OK?
410
00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:09,510
Thanksgiving, genocide.
411
00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:12,179
4th of July, bombs.
412
00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:16,083
Christmas, some old guy breaks
into your home and leaves shit
413
00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:17,718
and eats cookies.
414
00:15:17,818 --> 00:15:18,852
Flag Day.
415
00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:21,021
Halloween is definitely
scarier than Flag Day.
416
00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:24,024
So you're telling me you
go down to the deep South,
417
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:27,094
and you got a bunch of guys
waving American flags at you--
418
00:15:27,194 --> 00:15:28,529
you're not going to be
a little bit scared?
419
00:15:28,629 --> 00:15:30,164
[laughs]
420
00:15:30,264 --> 00:15:33,067
I think Mother's Day is
less scary than Halloween.
421
00:15:33,167 --> 00:15:34,802
Well, it depends
on the mother.
422
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,170
I have a great mother.
423
00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:38,005
Do you wish that
he was married?
424
00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:39,373
Yes.
425
00:15:39,473 --> 00:15:41,775
You still like Mother's Day?
426
00:15:41,875 --> 00:15:43,877
Valentine's Day
isn't that scary.
427
00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:46,680
Valentine's Day, you have
to put yourself out there
428
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:49,483
with a valentines
to tell someone
429
00:15:49,583 --> 00:15:51,151
that you like them
with the chance
430
00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:52,986
that they might
not like you back.
431
00:15:53,087 --> 00:15:55,889
That is way scarier
than a bunch
432
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:58,992
of kids running around
dressed up as the princess
433
00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:00,260
from Frozen.
434
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,261
OK, on Valentine's Day--
435
00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:02,396
It's New York.
436
00:16:02,496 --> 00:16:03,997
--if you get rejected,
you know, you move on.
437
00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:07,201
But if you reject kids from
giving them candy on Halloween
438
00:16:07,301 --> 00:16:09,837
night, then they might stay at
your house for, like, hours,
439
00:16:09,937 --> 00:16:10,838
and then egg your house.
440
00:16:10,938 --> 00:16:11,839
Egg your house.
441
00:16:11,939 --> 00:16:13,173
That's what I do
when someone rejects
442
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:14,374
me on Valentine's Day as well.
443
00:16:14,475 --> 00:16:15,576
[laughter]
444
00:16:15,676 --> 00:16:18,278
Scary costumes are better
than sexy costumes.
445
00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:19,413
Prove me wrong.
446
00:16:19,513 --> 00:16:20,814
Ew.
447
00:16:20,948 --> 00:16:24,184
First of all, scary costumes,
way warmer than sexy costumes.
448
00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:25,519
It's not too cold.
It's fall.
449
00:16:25,619 --> 00:16:26,520
It's not winter.
450
00:16:26,620 --> 00:16:27,521
It's fall.
451
00:16:27,621 --> 00:16:29,790
OK, for the rest
of us nonmodels,
452
00:16:29,957 --> 00:16:32,559
we get cold when we're
not wearing clothes.
453
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:33,794
There's a price for fashion.
454
00:16:33,961 --> 00:16:35,329
Yes, exactly.
455
00:16:35,429 --> 00:16:37,765
You get to be, like,
honestly, just kind of hot--
456
00:16:37,865 --> 00:16:39,366
- Period.
- --for a night.
457
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:40,667
Like, dress up as,
like, a hot kitty
458
00:16:40,768 --> 00:16:42,169
cat or, like, a hot bunny.
459
00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:43,704
And no one gives a shit.
460
00:16:43,804 --> 00:16:44,972
Yeah, but this
is New York City.
461
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:47,808
You can dress up as a hot
kitty cat all the time,
462
00:16:47,975 --> 00:16:48,976
and no one will give a shit.
463
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,577
WOMAN: Yeah, but what
about, like, Minnesota?
464
00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:53,213
If you live in Minnesota,
you dress up like a sexy cat--
465
00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:54,982
you're going to
freeze to death.
466
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:55,983
Hoes don't get cold.
467
00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:58,385
[laughter]
468
00:16:58,485 --> 00:16:59,620
Hoes don't get cold, OK?
469
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:01,255
RONNY CHIENG: So do you
think that sexy costumes are
470
00:17:01,355 --> 00:17:03,123
better than scary costumes?
471
00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:06,026
Yeah, it makes
everybody happy.
472
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:10,764
[laughs] Love is in the air.
473
00:17:10,931 --> 00:17:15,836
Sexy costumes will
get you laid, so--
474
00:17:15,936 --> 00:17:16,970
You know what?
475
00:17:17,071 --> 00:17:18,439
I think you just won the
argument right there.
476
00:17:18,539 --> 00:17:19,440
[laughter]
477
00:17:19,540 --> 00:17:21,475
I think this topic is over.
478
00:17:21,575 --> 00:17:23,710
I guess you should
take the desk.
479
00:17:23,811 --> 00:17:27,481
[music playing]
480
00:17:27,581 --> 00:17:28,549
[cheering]
481
00:17:28,649 --> 00:17:29,950
Thank you so much
for that, Ronny Chieng.
482
00:17:30,017 --> 00:17:31,585
All right, stay tuned
because when we come back,
483
00:17:31,685 --> 00:17:33,454
Diane Kruger will be joining
me right here on the show.
484
00:17:33,554 --> 00:17:34,455
So don't go away.
485
00:17:34,555 --> 00:17:38,225
[cheering]
486
00:17:40,608 --> 00:17:45,480
[cheering]
487
00:17:45,580 --> 00:17:46,681
Welcome back to
The Daily Show.
488
00:17:46,781 --> 00:17:49,884
My guest tonight is an
internationally renowned
489
00:17:49,984 --> 00:17:53,988
actor you know from films like
Inglourious Basterds and Troy.
490
00:17:54,088 --> 00:17:56,457
She's here to talk about
her new children's book
491
00:17:56,557 --> 00:17:58,693
called A Name from the Sky.
492
00:17:58,793 --> 00:18:00,495
Please, welcome Diane Kruger.
493
00:18:00,595 --> 00:18:03,398
[music playing]
494
00:18:03,498 --> 00:18:07,235
[cheering]
495
00:18:07,335 --> 00:18:08,236
Thank you so much.
496
00:18:08,336 --> 00:18:09,237
Welcome.
497
00:18:09,337 --> 00:18:14,575
Thank you.
498
00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:16,544
Diane Kruger, welcome
to The Daily Show.
499
00:18:16,644 --> 00:18:17,645
Thank you.
First time.
500
00:18:17,745 --> 00:18:18,846
Right.
501
00:18:18,946 --> 00:18:21,015
Willkommen bei The Daily
Show, and bienvenue a la--
502
00:18:21,115 --> 00:18:22,016
a la Daily Show--
503
00:18:22,116 --> 00:18:23,017
I don't speak French.
504
00:18:23,117 --> 00:18:24,052
So I don't know.
505
00:18:24,152 --> 00:18:25,053
But you do.
506
00:18:25,153 --> 00:18:26,187
You do.
507
00:18:26,287 --> 00:18:28,156
You're one of the more
impressive actors I've
508
00:18:28,256 --> 00:18:29,524
ever come across in my life.
509
00:18:29,624 --> 00:18:32,427
Because not only are you in
some of the most iconic films,
510
00:18:32,527 --> 00:18:35,029
but you do it in
multiple languages.
511
00:18:35,129 --> 00:18:36,631
So we've seen you
in English films.
512
00:18:36,731 --> 00:18:37,932
We've seen you in German films.
513
00:18:38,032 --> 00:18:39,767
We've seen you in French films.
514
00:18:39,867 --> 00:18:44,238
I would love to know where you
are most comfortable acting--
515
00:18:44,339 --> 00:18:47,275
which language?
516
00:18:47,375 --> 00:18:49,210
I don't want to
brag, but truly I'm
517
00:18:49,243 --> 00:18:50,411
comfortable in all languages.
518
00:18:50,511 --> 00:18:51,679
It took me a while.
519
00:18:51,779 --> 00:18:53,448
TREVOR NOAH: Yeah?
520
00:18:53,548 --> 00:18:55,116
That sounds like such a brag.
I know.
521
00:18:55,216 --> 00:18:56,117
TREVOR NOAH: No, it doesn't.
- It's awful.
522
00:18:56,217 --> 00:18:57,218
No, you know what?
523
00:18:57,285 --> 00:18:58,486
In French, I feel
like I am a little bit
524
00:18:58,586 --> 00:18:59,554
of a different person.
TREVOR NOAH: Yes.
525
00:18:59,654 --> 00:19:01,089
I feel sweeter, you know?
526
00:19:01,222 --> 00:19:02,390
I feel a little--
- Oh, I like that.
527
00:19:02,490 --> 00:19:03,524
Yeah.
528
00:19:03,624 --> 00:19:05,860
In German, it's definitely
more to the point.
529
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:07,095
- Did that makes sense?
- Ya.
530
00:19:07,228 --> 00:19:08,129
- Yeah, yeah.
- All good.
531
00:19:08,229 --> 00:19:09,464
Yeah.
532
00:19:09,564 --> 00:19:11,065
And English is just-- it's
the easiest language, I find.
533
00:19:11,232 --> 00:19:13,234
What do you-- like,
the easiest in general?
534
00:19:13,334 --> 00:19:14,635
Easiest in terms of,
like, it goes fast.
535
00:19:14,736 --> 00:19:16,404
It goes-- it's funny.
Like, it's short.
536
00:19:16,504 --> 00:19:17,939
You know, you don't
have to think about it.
537
00:19:18,039 --> 00:19:19,741
There are many actors where
they'll dub the language
538
00:19:19,841 --> 00:19:20,975
or they'll change
who the person--
539
00:19:21,075 --> 00:19:23,745
you're one of the few where
German-speaking people
540
00:19:23,845 --> 00:19:25,246
love your movies in Germany.
541
00:19:25,346 --> 00:19:27,548
And then French-speaking people
love your movies in French.
542
00:19:27,649 --> 00:19:28,716
It's rare to find that.
543
00:19:28,816 --> 00:19:30,485
Now you're adding to
your resume as well.
544
00:19:30,585 --> 00:19:32,687
I mean, when they said
Diane's coming on for a book,
545
00:19:32,787 --> 00:19:33,688
I was like, what kind of book?
546
00:19:33,788 --> 00:19:35,490
And they said, a
children's book.
547
00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:37,091
I couldn't imagine
what it would be.
548
00:19:37,258 --> 00:19:38,092
But it's really beautiful.
549
00:19:38,259 --> 00:19:39,260
Thank you.
550
00:19:39,293 --> 00:19:40,728
A Name from the Sky,
tell me what inspired
551
00:19:40,828 --> 00:19:41,929
the writing of the book.
552
00:19:42,030 --> 00:19:44,832
So I was in Los Angeles
just before the pandemic,
553
00:19:44,932 --> 00:19:46,100
and I was working, right?
554
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:47,869
And my mom from
Germany was there,
555
00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:51,205
helping with my daughter, who
was about one at the time.
556
00:19:51,305 --> 00:19:52,740
And then the world shut down.
557
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:55,677
And weeks turned into
months literally.
558
00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:57,345
And I hadn't spent this
much time with my mom
559
00:19:57,445 --> 00:19:58,846
since I was 16.
560
00:19:58,946 --> 00:20:01,983
And we started talking about
my childhood and stories,
561
00:20:02,083 --> 00:20:03,117
you know, I had forgotten.
562
00:20:03,217 --> 00:20:05,787
And so-- and I remember
that when I was a kid--
563
00:20:05,887 --> 00:20:07,922
and I was kind of an odd kid--
564
00:20:08,022 --> 00:20:10,491
that she changed
my life by telling
565
00:20:10,591 --> 00:20:12,727
me the meaning
of my name, which
566
00:20:12,827 --> 00:20:14,228
was quite unusual in Germany.
567
00:20:14,262 --> 00:20:15,229
I know that sounds strange.
568
00:20:15,263 --> 00:20:17,465
Diane-- it's not
a uncommon name.
569
00:20:17,565 --> 00:20:19,267
Yeah, you talk about that
in the book, but Diane--
570
00:20:19,367 --> 00:20:21,235
I didn't know-- is
not common in Germany.
571
00:20:21,336 --> 00:20:22,236
It's not common at all.
572
00:20:22,337 --> 00:20:24,138
So do they say
Diane, or do they say--
573
00:20:24,238 --> 00:20:26,841
They say "Deanna," and
it rhymes with banana,
574
00:20:26,941 --> 00:20:28,009
like Deanna, banana.
575
00:20:28,109 --> 00:20:29,010
TREVOR NOAH: Oh, wow.
576
00:20:29,110 --> 00:20:30,278
So, yeah, I was--
577
00:20:30,378 --> 00:20:31,813
TREVOR NOAH: Even in Germany,
the kids are the same.
578
00:20:31,913 --> 00:20:32,914
[laughter]
579
00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:33,915
If not worse.
580
00:20:34,015 --> 00:20:36,551
[laughs] Deanna de banana--
581
00:20:36,651 --> 00:20:38,052
OK, I can see it.
582
00:20:38,152 --> 00:20:40,888
But, look, so I started
writing things down.
583
00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:44,726
And I thought, well, if I felt
odd with a name like Diane,
584
00:20:44,826 --> 00:20:46,961
I'm sure there's lots of kids
that feel odd about their name
585
00:20:47,061 --> 00:20:48,863
or they feel that
they don't fit in.
586
00:20:48,963 --> 00:20:50,431
And so I started
writing it down.
587
00:20:50,531 --> 00:20:52,467
And I thought about
my own daughter
588
00:20:52,567 --> 00:20:54,469
and how long we thought
about giving her name.
589
00:20:54,569 --> 00:20:55,870
And that's kind
of how it started.
590
00:20:55,970 --> 00:20:58,206
TREVOR NOAH: It's a really
wonderful book about belonging
591
00:20:58,272 --> 00:21:00,108
about understanding where
you come from, why you're
592
00:21:00,208 --> 00:21:01,643
special, why you're important.
593
00:21:01,743 --> 00:21:05,446
When you think of your
life as a mom now,
594
00:21:05,546 --> 00:21:09,217
what are some of the things you
hope to instill in your child
595
00:21:09,250 --> 00:21:12,320
that you wish every
child should have?
596
00:21:12,420 --> 00:21:16,257
I really, truly believe
that every child that is born
597
00:21:16,357 --> 00:21:17,925
is perfect as it is, right?
598
00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:19,427
And we all have--
599
00:21:19,527 --> 00:21:21,896
I can see it in my
daughter and her friends.
600
00:21:21,996 --> 00:21:24,599
They all have something
special that is so powerful.
601
00:21:24,699 --> 00:21:26,067
And they don't
know it yet, right?
602
00:21:26,234 --> 00:21:29,270
And when I became a mom,
I felt the responsibility
603
00:21:29,370 --> 00:21:31,939
and the opportunity
to give her wings,
604
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:32,940
like, to curate her world--
605
00:21:33,041 --> 00:21:34,075
TREVOR NOAH: I love that.
606
00:21:34,242 --> 00:21:36,110
--so that she can be
whoever she wants to be,
607
00:21:36,244 --> 00:21:38,112
whether that's-- not
everybody can be an actor--
608
00:21:38,246 --> 00:21:39,947
whether she wants
to sell ice cream
609
00:21:40,048 --> 00:21:40,915
in Washington Square Park.
610
00:21:41,015 --> 00:21:41,983
TREVOR NOAH: Right, right.
611
00:21:42,083 --> 00:21:44,352
But whatever makes
you you is great, right?
612
00:21:44,452 --> 00:21:46,621
And so I didn't
grow up like this.
613
00:21:46,721 --> 00:21:48,990
But my mom changed
my life when she
614
00:21:49,090 --> 00:21:51,659
said, at 15, you
can quit school
615
00:21:51,759 --> 00:21:53,261
and go to Paris for a year.
616
00:21:53,361 --> 00:21:55,196
TREVOR NOAH: Wow.
- But she really did.
617
00:21:55,263 --> 00:21:56,197
She trusted me, right?
618
00:21:56,297 --> 00:21:57,498
She said, OK, I'm
going to trust you.
619
00:21:57,598 --> 00:22:00,201
Because I was going to
get kicked out of school
620
00:22:00,234 --> 00:22:01,736
for working as a model.
621
00:22:01,836 --> 00:22:02,737
And my principal said--
622
00:22:02,837 --> 00:22:03,805
TREVOR NOAH: Wait.
623
00:22:03,905 --> 00:22:05,406
Your school was going
to kick you out--
624
00:22:05,506 --> 00:22:06,574
- Yeah.
- --for working as a model.
625
00:22:06,674 --> 00:22:08,209
Yeah, because I was
getting jobs in Paris,
626
00:22:08,276 --> 00:22:09,210
and I was missing school.
627
00:22:09,277 --> 00:22:11,212
This is a German
school, I'm assuming.
628
00:22:11,245 --> 00:22:12,246
OK.
629
00:22:12,347 --> 00:22:13,548
Yeah, that sounds like
a very German thing.
630
00:22:13,648 --> 00:22:14,682
Yeah.
631
00:22:14,782 --> 00:22:16,484
They're just like, nein,
kinder cannot be sexy.
632
00:22:16,584 --> 00:22:17,752
Nein.
OK.
633
00:22:17,852 --> 00:22:18,886
Exactly.
634
00:22:18,987 --> 00:22:22,223
And when I told
my mom, I couldn't
635
00:22:22,323 --> 00:22:24,625
believe it that she said to
me, no, I'm going to trust you.
636
00:22:24,726 --> 00:22:26,060
OK, I know this is
what you want to do.
637
00:22:26,227 --> 00:22:27,061
TREVOR NOAH: That is wild.
638
00:22:27,228 --> 00:22:28,296
You should go.
639
00:22:28,396 --> 00:22:29,697
TREVOR NOAH: And you've
never looked back.
640
00:22:29,797 --> 00:22:33,568
No, but it's truly the
reason why I am who I am today.
641
00:22:33,668 --> 00:22:35,770
The life that I've
had is thanks to that.
642
00:22:35,870 --> 00:22:38,840
And that's one of the reasons
I wrote this book is because I
643
00:22:38,940 --> 00:22:41,409
feel like we can make
that happen for children,
644
00:22:41,509 --> 00:22:42,577
and we should trust them.
645
00:22:42,677 --> 00:22:43,578
I love that.
646
00:22:43,678 --> 00:22:44,946
And how old is
your daughter now?
647
00:22:45,046 --> 00:22:45,980
She just turned four.
648
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:47,515
So she can read
the book with you.
649
00:22:47,615 --> 00:22:48,616
She must love it.
650
00:22:48,716 --> 00:22:49,884
What does she think
about the book that's
651
00:22:49,984 --> 00:22:51,786
written and inspired by her?
652
00:22:51,886 --> 00:22:54,322
You know, it's a little
touchy, feely at first.
653
00:22:54,422 --> 00:22:55,323
[laughter]
654
00:22:55,423 --> 00:22:56,724
TREVOR NOAH: Wait, wait.
655
00:22:56,824 --> 00:22:58,559
I mean, she totally called BS
on me being a goddess, right?
656
00:22:58,660 --> 00:23:02,230
It's just like, definitely
you're not a goddess.
657
00:23:02,330 --> 00:23:04,232
She was not pleased
with my choice
658
00:23:04,332 --> 00:23:05,800
of having red
shoes on her dress
659
00:23:05,900 --> 00:23:07,635
with a blue dress
and red shoes.
660
00:23:07,735 --> 00:23:09,404
That was a minor meltdown.
661
00:23:09,504 --> 00:23:11,005
She hated her
outfit in the book?
662
00:23:11,105 --> 00:23:12,940
- Yes.
- I like your daughter.
663
00:23:13,041 --> 00:23:13,941
I like this already.
664
00:23:14,042 --> 00:23:15,109
Yeah.
665
00:23:15,209 --> 00:23:16,844
Now she's four.
666
00:23:16,944 --> 00:23:18,212
It's getting a little better.
667
00:23:18,313 --> 00:23:19,947
And when I told her, you know,
I've been on this book tour,
668
00:23:20,048 --> 00:23:21,582
and I said, I need
to leave because I'm
669
00:23:21,683 --> 00:23:24,352
talking about your book, honey,
and she just started crying.
670
00:23:24,452 --> 00:23:25,586
She said, please,
don't sell my book.
671
00:23:25,687 --> 00:23:26,587
It's my story.
672
00:23:26,688 --> 00:23:28,089
I don't won't you to sell it.
673
00:23:28,222 --> 00:23:29,223
So it's cute.
- I love this.
674
00:23:29,290 --> 00:23:30,224
Well, you know what?
675
00:23:30,291 --> 00:23:32,126
It's a wonderful story.
676
00:23:32,226 --> 00:23:34,128
I love seeing you
express your life
677
00:23:34,228 --> 00:23:35,263
in a completely different way.
678
00:23:35,363 --> 00:23:36,397
Thank you so much
for joining us.
679
00:23:36,497 --> 00:23:37,732
Thank you so much.
680
00:23:37,832 --> 00:23:41,769
Merci, gracias, danke schoen,
siyabonga, [non-english]..
681
00:23:41,869 --> 00:23:42,870
Thank you so much
for being here.
682
00:23:42,970 --> 00:23:43,938
Oh, no he's bragging.
No, you were right.
683
00:23:44,038 --> 00:23:45,173
Thank you so much
for being on the show.
684
00:23:45,239 --> 00:23:46,407
Really appreciate you.
685
00:23:46,507 --> 00:23:48,376
A Name in the Sky
is available now.
686
00:23:48,476 --> 00:23:49,777
Make sure you get it
for you and your kid.
687
00:23:49,877 --> 00:23:50,912
Diane Kruger, everybody.
688
00:23:51,012 --> 00:23:52,213
All right, we're going
to take a quick break.
689
00:23:52,313 --> 00:23:53,715
We'll be right back after this.
690
00:23:53,815 --> 00:23:54,716
Thank you very much.
691
00:23:54,816 --> 00:23:58,486
[cheering]
692
00:24:03,658 --> 00:24:05,160
[applause]
693
00:24:05,260 --> 00:24:06,361
Well, that's our
show for tonight.
694
00:24:06,461 --> 00:24:07,495
Thank you so much
for tuning in.
695
00:24:07,595 --> 00:24:09,431
But before we go,
before we go, I
696
00:24:09,531 --> 00:24:13,068
wanted to remind you that
tomorrow is Vote Early Day.
697
00:24:13,168 --> 00:24:16,971
So make your plan to vote
early, at voteearly.org.
698
00:24:17,072 --> 00:24:18,573
The midterm elections
are approaching
699
00:24:18,673 --> 00:24:21,376
and the stakes are higher than
they've been for generations.
700
00:24:21,476 --> 00:24:23,178
So please, make sure
that your voice counts.
701
00:24:23,278 --> 00:24:25,547
And by the way, we're
going to be seeing you
702
00:24:25,647 --> 00:24:26,981
next week in Atlanta, Georgia.
703
00:24:27,082 --> 00:24:28,917
The Daily Show is going to
be going there and doing
704
00:24:29,017 --> 00:24:30,985
a whole week of shows
from one of the biggest
705
00:24:31,086 --> 00:24:32,387
battleground states there is.
706
00:24:32,487 --> 00:24:33,822
Charlemagne tha God
is coming up next.
707
00:24:33,922 --> 00:24:36,324
But first, here it is,
your moment of zen.
708
00:24:36,424 --> 00:24:39,728
[applause]
709
00:24:39,828 --> 00:24:41,296
How much do you
think you can get
710
00:24:41,396 --> 00:24:45,767
done if you've got the House
and the Senate moving forward?
711
00:24:45,867 --> 00:24:47,168
I think the first
thing is, we're going
712
00:24:47,268 --> 00:24:49,704
to stop all the bad stuff.