1 00:00:00,534 --> 00:00:01,902 [theme music] 2 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,270 ANNOUNCER: Coming to you from New 3 00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:07,608 York City, the only city in America, it's The Daily Show. 4 00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:11,879 Tonight, Russia gets down and dirty, 5 00:00:11,979 --> 00:00:17,217 what you think about Halloween, and Diane Kruger. 6 00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:21,088 This is The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. 7 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:28,195 [cheering] 8 00:00:36,403 --> 00:00:37,538 What's going on, everybody? 9 00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:38,772 Welcome to The Daily Show. 10 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:39,773 I'm Trevor Noah. 11 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,241 Thank you so much for tuning in. 12 00:00:41,341 --> 00:00:43,510 Thank you for coming out in person. 13 00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:45,946 Look at this, so much fun. 14 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,181 Oh, we're going to have a great time. 15 00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:48,982 Take a seat. Take a seat, everybody. 16 00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:50,083 Take a seat. 17 00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:52,119 We've got a great show for you tonight. 18 00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:54,755 Chinatown is getting a whole new meaning. 19 00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:57,024 Elon Musk is in all our DMs. 20 00:00:57,124 --> 00:00:59,226 And Ronny Chieng throws eggs at Halloween. 21 00:00:59,326 --> 00:01:00,327 So let's do this, people. 22 00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:02,396 Let's jump straight into today's headlines. 23 00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:05,299 [music playing] 24 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:09,570 [cheering] 25 00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:12,439 All right, people, I'm going to be honest. 26 00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:14,141 With all the news happening right now, 27 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:17,377 I don't think we have enough space in today's show. 28 00:01:17,477 --> 00:01:20,714 And I try-- I tried everything-- everything. 29 00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:24,451 I even tried putting all the news in a panini press 30 00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:27,921 and smooshing it down, but it didn't work. 31 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,090 The news just became crispier and more delicious. 32 00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:33,794 But we still don't have enough time. 33 00:01:33,894 --> 00:01:36,496 Fortunately, not enough time is just 34 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,866 enough time for a segment we call Ain't Nobody 35 00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:40,267 Got Time for That. 36 00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:44,171 [cheering] 37 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:47,140 All right, let's kick things off with the war in Ukraine, 38 00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:49,610 where Ukrainian forces are continuing to make gains 39 00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,111 on the ground against Russia. 40 00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:54,648 And Russia is continuing to make gains in scaring 41 00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:56,583 the shit out of everybody. 42 00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:59,953 REPORTER: Tonight Vladimir Putin personally overseeing 43 00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:02,322 Moscow's first major nuclear drills 44 00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:06,493 since he invaded Ukraine, simulating 45 00:02:06,593 --> 00:02:09,696 a massive nuclear strike. 46 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:12,065 And for the first time, Putin issuing 47 00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:14,134 an ominous and unfounded warning-- 48 00:02:14,234 --> 00:02:16,103 [speaking russian] 49 00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:18,238 REPORTER: --that Ukraine plans to blow up 50 00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:21,275 a dirty bomb laced with radioactive material 51 00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:22,776 in its own territory. 52 00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:26,079 Western allies warning Russia could use such an event 53 00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:29,650 as a false flag to blame Ukraine for an attack 54 00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:31,685 that Moscow carries out itself. 55 00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:34,354 REPORTER: A dirty bomb is not a nuclear bomb 56 00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:35,989 and would be less harmful. 57 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:38,392 But by using conventional explosives 58 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,561 to spread radioactive material, it's 59 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,396 an effective weapon of terror. 60 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:43,997 Yeah, that's right. 61 00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:49,102 Russia might be gearing up to use a dirty bomb, which 62 00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:52,105 is a bomb that spreads radioactive material, 63 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,842 not a regular bomb that's into kinky shit 64 00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:56,343 like you were thinking. 65 00:02:56,443 --> 00:03:00,480 Not me-- that's what you were thinking when you heard that. 66 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,182 And right now Putin is saying that Ukraine 67 00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:04,384 is planning to use a dirty bomb on themselves. 68 00:03:04,484 --> 00:03:05,953 But everyone can see through this. 69 00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:07,654 We know it's just a cover so that Putin has 70 00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:09,056 an excuse to use one on them. 71 00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:10,190 It's so transparent. 72 00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:12,426 It's like a kid going, just so you know, Mom, 73 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,228 I heard that Ukraine is going to steal 74 00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:17,297 all the Halloween candy before you can hand it out next week. 75 00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:19,066 So if Halloween candy goes missing, 76 00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,601 you know who to blame. 77 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,736 And, by the way, please don't buy Raisinets. 78 00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:24,171 Ukraine doesn't like those ones. 79 00:03:24,271 --> 00:03:26,340 [laughter] 80 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,076 But transparent or not, this is pretty terrifying 81 00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:30,143 and not just for Ukraine. 82 00:03:30,244 --> 00:03:31,678 Does Russia think these things through? 83 00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:32,679 They're on the same border. 84 00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:34,214 Think about how everything's gone wrong. 85 00:03:34,314 --> 00:03:37,784 Look at how poorly Russia's entire invasion has gone, huh? 86 00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:39,486 Dropping a dirty bomb will probably 87 00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:40,754 end up backfiring on Putin. 88 00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:42,523 He's going to be there in his war room like, (RUSSIAN 89 00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:45,425 ACCENT) oh, shit, the radiation gave all Ukrainian soldiers 90 00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:46,560 laser eyes. 91 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:47,561 That's so cool. 92 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:48,795 What about our soldiers? 93 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,397 Did they get powers, too, General? 94 00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:54,935 Like, yes, Mr. President, our men can't stop pooping. 95 00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:56,603 Not as cool. 96 00:03:56,703 --> 00:03:59,206 Now, if we had more time, we could talk about how Russia is 97 00:03:59,306 --> 00:04:01,942 also now threatening to shoot down American satellites that 98 00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:04,711 are helping with the Ukrainian war effort, which would be 99 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:06,113 bad news for everybody except Space Force 100 00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:07,514 because they finally have something to do. 101 00:04:07,614 --> 00:04:09,049 But we don't have the time for that. 102 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,051 Because while Russia is planning shady shit 103 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,353 in Ukraine, China is already doing 104 00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:15,255 shady shit all over the world. 105 00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:17,224 The Dutch Foreign Ministry is investigating claims 106 00:04:17,324 --> 00:04:20,594 that China is operating at least two unofficial police 107 00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:22,429 stations in the Netherlands, which would 108 00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:24,064 breach diplomatic protocol. 109 00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:26,934 According to the allegations detailed in this report, 110 00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:30,838 Beijing has been operating underground, undeclared 111 00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:34,641 policing units to carry out persuasion operations aimed 112 00:04:34,741 --> 00:04:37,144 at coercing those suspected of speaking 113 00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:41,081 out against the Chinese regime to return home. 114 00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:42,449 But what's happening in the Netherlands 115 00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:44,184 might just be the tip of the iceberg. 116 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,186 The Spanish NGO Safeguard Defenders 117 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:49,089 says it's uncovered more than 50 unofficial police 118 00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:50,691 stations around the world. 119 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,660 It's found outposts in at least 21 countries, 120 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:57,130 including the UK, the US, and many parts of Europe. 121 00:04:57,231 --> 00:04:59,266 OK, if this is true, this is terrifying. 122 00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:01,201 Can you imagine China has a secret police 123 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,470 force in other countries, where they 124 00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:05,272 harass and intimidate Chinese dissidents 125 00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:06,540 who are living abroad? 126 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,108 And then they try and convince them 127 00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:11,645 to move back to China, which, how does that even work, huh? 128 00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:13,313 What, are agents just grabbing Chinese people 129 00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:15,782 abroad like, hey, we've seen the crap you talk about China? 130 00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:17,084 You say one more thing about China, 131 00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:18,285 and China will destroy you. 132 00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:19,620 You better shut up about China. 133 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,054 You hear me? 134 00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:23,490 Oh, and, by the way, would you like to move back to China? 135 00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:25,158 We miss you. It's a great place. 136 00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:26,326 We've got WeChat now. 137 00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:28,128 [laughter] 138 00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:30,864 Now China claims these offices are 139 00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:32,299 not secret police stations. 140 00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:34,601 They're just used for administrative purposes 141 00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:37,070 like giving people driver's licenses and stuff. 142 00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:39,806 But if that's true, why are they keeping them all 143 00:05:39,907 --> 00:05:41,175 secret, huh? 144 00:05:41,275 --> 00:05:44,111 You don't need to be shady if you're just doing paperwork. 145 00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:46,513 Yeah, the DMV lady is never like, oh, you 146 00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:48,081 need to renew your passport. 147 00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:51,251 Be at this parking lot at 0500 hours. 148 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,486 Tell the man in the green jacket 149 00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,354 that the sun shines in November. 150 00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:57,257 He'll give you a briefcase with your new passport and a gun. 151 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,726 Use the gun to kill him. 152 00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:01,228 And if you don't like your picture, come back 153 00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:03,664 and we'll retake it, OK? 154 00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:06,200 Now, if we had time, we could talk more about 155 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:07,801 how China is increasingly throwing 156 00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,102 its weight around the world. 157 00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:10,637 Or we could figure out the best way 158 00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:12,239 to protect ourselves from Chinese influence 159 00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:13,440 and surveillance. 160 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:14,908 I mean, maybe we can find the answer on TikTok. 161 00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,343 But we don't have the time for that. 162 00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:18,045 Because while China is spreading around the world 163 00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:19,746 in secret, there's an even bigger 164 00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:22,049 super power who just announced her plan 165 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:23,617 to dominate the globe. 166 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,519 Fans of superstar singer Rihanna 167 00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:28,255 have been clamoring for new music from her for years. 168 00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:30,691 And now it appears their wait is almost over. 169 00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:37,764 [music playing] 170 00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:41,168 Rihanna shared a 15-second teaser 171 00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:43,971 on Twitter of her new single titled "Lift Me Up." 172 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,539 It's for the upcoming Black Panther 173 00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:47,074 movie, Wakanda Forever. 174 00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:50,744 This marks Rihanna's first single as a lead artist in six 175 00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:52,479 long years for her fans. 176 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:53,480 Oh, yeah! 177 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,816 [cheering] 178 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,684 Thank you. 179 00:06:57,784 --> 00:07:00,020 Thank you, Jesus. 180 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,289 Rihanna's releasing new music. 181 00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:03,690 And on top of that, her song is going 182 00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:05,492 to be part of the new Black Panther movie. 183 00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:06,493 Are you kidding me? 184 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:07,794 [cheering] 185 00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:10,330 Oh, man, that's going to be so great. 186 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,665 I mean, it's going to be great for us. 187 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,033 It won't be great for the Wakandans 188 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,768 because it's going to be hard to concentrate 189 00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:17,237 on fighting the bad guys when a Rihanna song starts playing. 190 00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:18,472 You know, it's going to be like, it's 191 00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:22,609 time to defend our ho-- oh! 192 00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:25,078 Oh, surely, are you hearing this right now, huh? 193 00:07:25,179 --> 00:07:27,548 Are you hearing this? 194 00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:29,082 Because you understand how big this is, 195 00:07:29,183 --> 00:07:31,351 Rihanna plus Black Panther. 196 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,452 What? 197 00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:34,655 I haven't experienced this much Black joy 198 00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:38,091 since that time featured on that Cardi B track. 199 00:07:38,192 --> 00:07:39,226 Oh, man. 200 00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:40,694 Yeah, it was just like (IMITATING OBAMA) wap, 201 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,963 wap, wap, that's right. 202 00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:46,066 I'll tell you what makes my pussy wet-- voting. 203 00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:47,100 Vote. 204 00:07:47,201 --> 00:07:48,101 Everybody, vote. 205 00:07:48,202 --> 00:07:49,603 A wap, wap, wap. 206 00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:53,073 [applause] 207 00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:54,074 I will say, though-- 208 00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:55,342 I will say, you've got to admit, Rihanna 209 00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:56,643 is keeping us thirsty, huh? 210 00:07:56,743 --> 00:07:57,845 We've been all begging-- 211 00:07:57,945 --> 00:08:00,247 we've been begging for an album for six years. 212 00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:03,383 And now she's like, OK, OK, I'll give you one song. 213 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,018 And we're like, thank you, Rihanna! 214 00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:07,487 Thank you, just one song. 215 00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:10,090 Now, if we had the time, we could celebrate the release 216 00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,525 of this new track by listening to all 217 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:12,526 of Rihanna's previous albums. 218 00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:13,861 But we don't have the time for that. 219 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:16,096 Because while Rihanna is about to take over your Spotify, 220 00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:18,832 another billionaire is taking over your tweets. 221 00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:21,201 REPORTER: One day before he's expected to officially take 222 00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:24,605 over Twitter, Elon Musk walked back his previous promise 223 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,940 to remove most moderation on the site, 224 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,309 reassuring advertisers that it would not become 225 00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:31,311 a free-for-all hellscape, where anything can 226 00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:33,247 be said with no consequences. 227 00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,315 Musk also visited Twitter's offices, 228 00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:37,551 carrying a kitchen sink, tweeting, "entering 229 00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:40,787 Twitter HQ, let that sink in." 230 00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:42,155 Oh. 231 00:08:42,256 --> 00:08:43,156 Oh, get it? 232 00:08:43,257 --> 00:08:44,157 Get it? 233 00:08:44,258 --> 00:08:46,126 Let that sink in. 234 00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:47,794 I know a lot of people think that was corny. 235 00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:49,763 But I think once you have 87 children, 236 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,064 you're allowed to make dad jokes. 237 00:08:51,098 --> 00:08:52,065 You can do it. 238 00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:53,066 It's fun. 239 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,334 Let that sink in. 240 00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:57,171 What I want to know is, where did he get that sink? 241 00:08:57,271 --> 00:08:58,572 No, I mean, it works for the joke. 242 00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:00,474 Where did he get the sink? 243 00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:01,475 Right? 244 00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:02,809 Is it just the one he ripped out 245 00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:05,012 of the wall when the judge told him he had to buy Twitter? 246 00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:09,016 [shouts] 247 00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:11,451 If anything, Elon is the right billionaire to make this joke, 248 00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:12,686 you know? 249 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:14,788 Because if Jeff Bezos walked into Amazon with a sink, 250 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,123 his employees would be like, oh, wow, 251 00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:17,524 we're finally getting a restroom. 252 00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:18,859 He's like, no! 253 00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:20,894 No, go away. 254 00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:21,895 Go away. 255 00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:26,200 [applause] 256 00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:30,337 And as for that statement to the advertisers that Elon 257 00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:32,773 sent, I will say, it's interesting to see Elon go 258 00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:35,309 from the free speech cowboy of the West 259 00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:37,344 to pandering to the advertisers and saying, 260 00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:42,516 Twitter will be a safe space for your advertising dollars. 261 00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:44,585 Yeah, the man has owned Twitter for one minute, 262 00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:46,320 and already, he's like, free speech is great, 263 00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:47,387 but you know what else is great? 264 00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:49,323 Money, yeah. 265 00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:50,324 Mm-hmm. 266 00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:51,959 Honestly, it's embarrassing. 267 00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:54,428 Yeah, not even-- not even one day 268 00:09:54,528 --> 00:09:57,464 of owning Twitter, and Elon is already caving in 269 00:09:57,564 --> 00:10:00,934 to the advertisers, folding like a tortilla 270 00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:05,472 around a Crunch Wrap Supreme filled with carne asada steak, 271 00:10:05,572 --> 00:10:06,974 available only at Taco Bell. 272 00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:08,242 [laughter] 273 00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:09,576 What a shill. 274 00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:13,347 What a shameless, shameless shill. 275 00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:15,082 Now, if we had more time, we could 276 00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:17,317 get into how Twitter can try to stay relevant 277 00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:19,920 in the era of TikTok, or how funny it would be if everyone 278 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,688 stopped using Twitter and Elon Musk just straight up 279 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,090 lost $44 billion. 280 00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:24,591 But we don't have the time for any of that. 281 00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:26,894 Because while Twitter is entering a new phase, 282 00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:30,631 its top rival just got some very bad news of its own. 283 00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:32,599 REPORTER: Meta, the parent company of Facebook, 284 00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:34,635 reported earnings that disappointed 285 00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:36,603 Wall Street in a big way-- 286 00:10:36,703 --> 00:10:40,040 the stock plunging more than 20% after the company 287 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,075 revealed that it expects its losses 288 00:10:42,176 --> 00:10:45,612 associated with building the Metaverse to keep growing. 289 00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:49,650 REPORTER: Meta has already lost a staggering $9.4 billion 290 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,652 on the Metaverse so far this year. 291 00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:53,453 But Zuckerberg is vowing to stay the course. 292 00:10:53,554 --> 00:10:54,555 MARK ZUCKERBERG (ON PHONE): Look, 293 00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:56,890 I get that a lot of people might 294 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,026 disagree with this investment. 295 00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:02,396 But people are going to look back on decades from now 296 00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:04,164 and talk about the importance of the work that 297 00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:05,165 was done here. 298 00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:06,667 Not a lot of sympathy for Zuckerberg, 299 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:09,269 but the wealth destruction across the board 300 00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:10,304 here, remarkable. 301 00:11:10,404 --> 00:11:12,739 From his peak last year, Zuckerberg 302 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,943 is down about $95 billion. 303 00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:18,512 He used to be the third richest person in the world. 304 00:11:18,612 --> 00:11:21,915 After today, he could fall to 26 or 27. 305 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,384 Ugh, puh! 306 00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:29,156 26th or 27th richest person in the wo-- ugh! 307 00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,091 Ugh, puh! 308 00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:32,326 Disgusting! 309 00:11:32,426 --> 00:11:33,527 Now what can you buy? 310 00:11:33,627 --> 00:11:34,661 Like, everything? 311 00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:36,763 Ugh. 312 00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:38,732 Yeah, thanks to his investments in the Metaverse, 313 00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:41,969 Mark Zuckerberg has lost $95 billion 314 00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:43,904 in his personal wealth. 315 00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,806 If the man was capable of feeling human emotion right 316 00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:48,775 now, he'd be stressed as hell. 317 00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,978 Because keep in mind-- keep in mind, once you fall out 318 00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:54,848 of the top 10, you no longer get to go to the VIP area 319 00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,016 at the Illuminati orgy. 320 00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:58,151 No, you're in general admission. 321 00:11:58,252 --> 00:11:59,419 It's a terrible view. 322 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,054 You can't even see the virgin goat sacrifice. 323 00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:02,055 What happened? 324 00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:03,056 Did it happen yet? 325 00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:04,625 Did it happen? 326 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:07,060 It's actually a goat that's a virgin, sacrificing something 327 00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,295 else. It's weird. 328 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,664 Now, before you feel sorry for Zuckerberg, remember, 329 00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:11,798 it's not all bad for him. 330 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:15,502 Yes, he's down $95 billion in the real world. 331 00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:18,539 But in the Metaverse, he's still worth $10 trillion 332 00:12:18,639 --> 00:12:19,540 Zuck Bucks. 333 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:22,209 Oh, yeah. 334 00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:24,077 And I will say kudos to Mark. 335 00:12:24,178 --> 00:12:25,445 Kudos, Mark Zuckerberg. 336 00:12:25,546 --> 00:12:27,948 A lot of people have been talking about taking 337 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,083 down big tech for a while. 338 00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:31,885 But he's the only one with the balls 339 00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:33,086 to do it to his own company. 340 00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:34,454 [laughter] 341 00:12:34,555 --> 00:12:35,923 Be the change you want to see in the world. 342 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,624 [applause] 343 00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:39,993 He's a leader. 344 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,196 Now, if we had more time, we could 345 00:12:42,296 --> 00:12:44,398 talk about how virtual reality is never really going 346 00:12:44,498 --> 00:12:46,233 to catch on until the hardware becomes 347 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:47,367 less intrusive and cumbersome. 348 00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:48,702 Because, I mean, like, right now putting 349 00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,871 on one of those Oculus headsets feels like I'm carrying 350 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,206 a small child on my face. 351 00:12:52,306 --> 00:12:53,440 But we don't have the time for that 352 00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:56,643 because I must honor our sacred sponsors with this 353 00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:58,245 precious advertisement break. 354 00:12:58,345 --> 00:12:59,246 We'll be right back. 355 00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:03,050 [cheering] 356 00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:16,797 [cheering] 357 00:13:20,334 --> 00:13:21,969 Welcome back to The Daily Show. 358 00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:26,607 You know, there's so much arguing in America today. 359 00:13:26,707 --> 00:13:28,675 But we here at The Daily Show think 360 00:13:28,776 --> 00:13:30,644 there could be even more. 361 00:13:30,744 --> 00:13:32,780 So to do our part, here's Ronny Chieng 362 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,682 with another installment of Prove Me Wrong. 363 00:13:35,783 --> 00:13:40,120 Piles of candy, hyper kids, candy apples stuck in braces, 364 00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,356 it's like Christmas for dentists, 365 00:13:42,456 --> 00:13:46,093 except it's Prove Me Wrong, Halloween edition. 366 00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:53,067 [music playing] 367 00:13:53,167 --> 00:13:54,334 Halloween sucks. 368 00:13:54,435 --> 00:13:55,936 Prove me wrong. Taking out-- 369 00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,304 But there's candy. 370 00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:58,505 RONNY CHIENG: Dude, it's America. 371 00:13:58,605 --> 00:13:59,807 There's candy every day. 372 00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:01,241 Will you give me free candy? 373 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,544 Stop trying to get free shit from people. 374 00:14:03,644 --> 00:14:05,512 Pay your way once in your life, guys. 375 00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:06,814 - And the haunted houses. - Yeah. 376 00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:08,215 What do you have to say about the haunted houses? 377 00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:09,650 - Right. - Those are fun. 378 00:14:09,750 --> 00:14:11,018 A little, like, nervous system reset. 379 00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:13,320 And I can't do that on, you know, Valentine's Day. 380 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,321 That's not fun. 381 00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:15,322 That's not the vibe. 382 00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:16,623 Yeah, I don't like holidays where 383 00:14:16,724 --> 00:14:18,859 I sometimes shit my pants. 384 00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:19,960 That sounds personal. 385 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,362 What is the history of Halloween? 386 00:14:22,463 --> 00:14:25,599 Satan's party before Christ comes to wipe him out. 387 00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:26,700 That's all I know. 388 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:27,768 Wait. 389 00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:29,737 So we end the year with Jesus because we 390 00:14:29,837 --> 00:14:31,472 summon Satan during Halloween? 391 00:14:31,572 --> 00:14:33,040 People liking candy. 392 00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:34,441 You-- you think that's how this started? 393 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:35,442 Yeah. 394 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:36,810 I guess not knowing your traditions 395 00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:39,046 is also an American tradition. 396 00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:41,615 Every other holiday is scarier than Halloween. 397 00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,283 Prove me wrong. 398 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,785 Easter-- what's scary about Easter? 399 00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:46,186 Chocolate-- RONNY CHIENG: No. 400 00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:47,387 --bunnies. 401 00:14:47,488 --> 00:14:50,224 Easter, there's a giant bunny that shits chocolate 402 00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:51,558 that we pick up and eat. 403 00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:54,728 I think Chinese New Year is less scary than Halloween. 404 00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:56,397 We're talking about there's drag-- 405 00:14:56,497 --> 00:14:58,031 there's like, lion dancers. 406 00:14:58,132 --> 00:15:00,434 People are letting off fireworks and crackers. 407 00:15:00,534 --> 00:15:02,836 I mean, you just have to keep your head on swivel 408 00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:04,371 and just keep lighting fireworks. 409 00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:07,241 OK, look at these other American holidays, OK? 410 00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:09,510 Thanksgiving, genocide. 411 00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:12,179 4th of July, bombs. 412 00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:16,083 Christmas, some old guy breaks into your home and leaves shit 413 00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:17,718 and eats cookies. 414 00:15:17,818 --> 00:15:18,852 Flag Day. 415 00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:21,021 Halloween is definitely scarier than Flag Day. 416 00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:24,024 So you're telling me you go down to the deep South, 417 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:27,094 and you got a bunch of guys waving American flags at you-- 418 00:15:27,194 --> 00:15:28,529 you're not going to be a little bit scared? 419 00:15:28,629 --> 00:15:30,164 [laughs] 420 00:15:30,264 --> 00:15:33,067 I think Mother's Day is less scary than Halloween. 421 00:15:33,167 --> 00:15:34,802 Well, it depends on the mother. 422 00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,170 I have a great mother. 423 00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:38,005 Do you wish that he was married? 424 00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:39,373 Yes. 425 00:15:39,473 --> 00:15:41,775 You still like Mother's Day? 426 00:15:41,875 --> 00:15:43,877 Valentine's Day isn't that scary. 427 00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:46,680 Valentine's Day, you have to put yourself out there 428 00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:49,483 with a valentines to tell someone 429 00:15:49,583 --> 00:15:51,151 that you like them with the chance 430 00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:52,986 that they might not like you back. 431 00:15:53,087 --> 00:15:55,889 That is way scarier than a bunch 432 00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:58,992 of kids running around dressed up as the princess 433 00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:00,260 from Frozen. 434 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,261 OK, on Valentine's Day-- 435 00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:02,396 It's New York. 436 00:16:02,496 --> 00:16:03,997 --if you get rejected, you know, you move on. 437 00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:07,201 But if you reject kids from giving them candy on Halloween 438 00:16:07,301 --> 00:16:09,837 night, then they might stay at your house for, like, hours, 439 00:16:09,937 --> 00:16:10,838 and then egg your house. 440 00:16:10,938 --> 00:16:11,839 Egg your house. 441 00:16:11,939 --> 00:16:13,173 That's what I do when someone rejects 442 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:14,374 me on Valentine's Day as well. 443 00:16:14,475 --> 00:16:15,576 [laughter] 444 00:16:15,676 --> 00:16:18,278 Scary costumes are better than sexy costumes. 445 00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:19,413 Prove me wrong. 446 00:16:19,513 --> 00:16:20,814 Ew. 447 00:16:20,948 --> 00:16:24,184 First of all, scary costumes, way warmer than sexy costumes. 448 00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:25,519 It's not too cold. It's fall. 449 00:16:25,619 --> 00:16:26,520 It's not winter. 450 00:16:26,620 --> 00:16:27,521 It's fall. 451 00:16:27,621 --> 00:16:29,790 OK, for the rest of us nonmodels, 452 00:16:29,957 --> 00:16:32,559 we get cold when we're not wearing clothes. 453 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:33,794 There's a price for fashion. 454 00:16:33,961 --> 00:16:35,329 Yes, exactly. 455 00:16:35,429 --> 00:16:37,765 You get to be, like, honestly, just kind of hot-- 456 00:16:37,865 --> 00:16:39,366 - Period. - --for a night. 457 00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:40,667 Like, dress up as, like, a hot kitty 458 00:16:40,768 --> 00:16:42,169 cat or, like, a hot bunny. 459 00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:43,704 And no one gives a shit. 460 00:16:43,804 --> 00:16:44,972 Yeah, but this is New York City. 461 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:47,808 You can dress up as a hot kitty cat all the time, 462 00:16:47,975 --> 00:16:48,976 and no one will give a shit. 463 00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,577 WOMAN: Yeah, but what about, like, Minnesota? 464 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:53,213 If you live in Minnesota, you dress up like a sexy cat-- 465 00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:54,982 you're going to freeze to death. 466 00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:55,983 Hoes don't get cold. 467 00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:58,385 [laughter] 468 00:16:58,485 --> 00:16:59,620 Hoes don't get cold, OK? 469 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:01,255 RONNY CHIENG: So do you think that sexy costumes are 470 00:17:01,355 --> 00:17:03,123 better than scary costumes? 471 00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:06,026 Yeah, it makes everybody happy. 472 00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:10,764 [laughs] Love is in the air. 473 00:17:10,931 --> 00:17:15,836 Sexy costumes will get you laid, so-- 474 00:17:15,936 --> 00:17:16,970 You know what? 475 00:17:17,071 --> 00:17:18,439 I think you just won the argument right there. 476 00:17:18,539 --> 00:17:19,440 [laughter] 477 00:17:19,540 --> 00:17:21,475 I think this topic is over. 478 00:17:21,575 --> 00:17:23,710 I guess you should take the desk. 479 00:17:23,811 --> 00:17:27,481 [music playing] 480 00:17:27,581 --> 00:17:28,549 [cheering] 481 00:17:28,649 --> 00:17:29,950 Thank you so much for that, Ronny Chieng. 482 00:17:30,017 --> 00:17:31,585 All right, stay tuned because when we come back, 483 00:17:31,685 --> 00:17:33,454 Diane Kruger will be joining me right here on the show. 484 00:17:33,554 --> 00:17:34,455 So don't go away. 485 00:17:34,555 --> 00:17:38,225 [cheering] 486 00:17:40,608 --> 00:17:45,480 [cheering] 487 00:17:45,580 --> 00:17:46,681 Welcome back to The Daily Show. 488 00:17:46,781 --> 00:17:49,884 My guest tonight is an internationally renowned 489 00:17:49,984 --> 00:17:53,988 actor you know from films like Inglourious Basterds and Troy. 490 00:17:54,088 --> 00:17:56,457 She's here to talk about her new children's book 491 00:17:56,557 --> 00:17:58,693 called A Name from the Sky. 492 00:17:58,793 --> 00:18:00,495 Please, welcome Diane Kruger. 493 00:18:00,595 --> 00:18:03,398 [music playing] 494 00:18:03,498 --> 00:18:07,235 [cheering] 495 00:18:07,335 --> 00:18:08,236 Thank you so much. 496 00:18:08,336 --> 00:18:09,237 Welcome. 497 00:18:09,337 --> 00:18:14,575 Thank you. 498 00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:16,544 Diane Kruger, welcome to The Daily Show. 499 00:18:16,644 --> 00:18:17,645 Thank you. First time. 500 00:18:17,745 --> 00:18:18,846 Right. 501 00:18:18,946 --> 00:18:21,015 Willkommen bei The Daily Show, and bienvenue a la-- 502 00:18:21,115 --> 00:18:22,016 a la Daily Show-- 503 00:18:22,116 --> 00:18:23,017 I don't speak French. 504 00:18:23,117 --> 00:18:24,052 So I don't know. 505 00:18:24,152 --> 00:18:25,053 But you do. 506 00:18:25,153 --> 00:18:26,187 You do. 507 00:18:26,287 --> 00:18:28,156 You're one of the more impressive actors I've 508 00:18:28,256 --> 00:18:29,524 ever come across in my life. 509 00:18:29,624 --> 00:18:32,427 Because not only are you in some of the most iconic films, 510 00:18:32,527 --> 00:18:35,029 but you do it in multiple languages. 511 00:18:35,129 --> 00:18:36,631 So we've seen you in English films. 512 00:18:36,731 --> 00:18:37,932 We've seen you in German films. 513 00:18:38,032 --> 00:18:39,767 We've seen you in French films. 514 00:18:39,867 --> 00:18:44,238 I would love to know where you are most comfortable acting-- 515 00:18:44,339 --> 00:18:47,275 which language? 516 00:18:47,375 --> 00:18:49,210 I don't want to brag, but truly I'm 517 00:18:49,243 --> 00:18:50,411 comfortable in all languages. 518 00:18:50,511 --> 00:18:51,679 It took me a while. 519 00:18:51,779 --> 00:18:53,448 TREVOR NOAH: Yeah? 520 00:18:53,548 --> 00:18:55,116 That sounds like such a brag. I know. 521 00:18:55,216 --> 00:18:56,117 TREVOR NOAH: No, it doesn't. - It's awful. 522 00:18:56,217 --> 00:18:57,218 No, you know what? 523 00:18:57,285 --> 00:18:58,486 In French, I feel like I am a little bit 524 00:18:58,586 --> 00:18:59,554 of a different person. TREVOR NOAH: Yes. 525 00:18:59,654 --> 00:19:01,089 I feel sweeter, you know? 526 00:19:01,222 --> 00:19:02,390 I feel a little-- - Oh, I like that. 527 00:19:02,490 --> 00:19:03,524 Yeah. 528 00:19:03,624 --> 00:19:05,860 In German, it's definitely more to the point. 529 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:07,095 - Did that makes sense? - Ya. 530 00:19:07,228 --> 00:19:08,129 - Yeah, yeah. - All good. 531 00:19:08,229 --> 00:19:09,464 Yeah. 532 00:19:09,564 --> 00:19:11,065 And English is just-- it's the easiest language, I find. 533 00:19:11,232 --> 00:19:13,234 What do you-- like, the easiest in general? 534 00:19:13,334 --> 00:19:14,635 Easiest in terms of, like, it goes fast. 535 00:19:14,736 --> 00:19:16,404 It goes-- it's funny. Like, it's short. 536 00:19:16,504 --> 00:19:17,939 You know, you don't have to think about it. 537 00:19:18,039 --> 00:19:19,741 There are many actors where they'll dub the language 538 00:19:19,841 --> 00:19:20,975 or they'll change who the person-- 539 00:19:21,075 --> 00:19:23,745 you're one of the few where German-speaking people 540 00:19:23,845 --> 00:19:25,246 love your movies in Germany. 541 00:19:25,346 --> 00:19:27,548 And then French-speaking people love your movies in French. 542 00:19:27,649 --> 00:19:28,716 It's rare to find that. 543 00:19:28,816 --> 00:19:30,485 Now you're adding to your resume as well. 544 00:19:30,585 --> 00:19:32,687 I mean, when they said Diane's coming on for a book, 545 00:19:32,787 --> 00:19:33,688 I was like, what kind of book? 546 00:19:33,788 --> 00:19:35,490 And they said, a children's book. 547 00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:37,091 I couldn't imagine what it would be. 548 00:19:37,258 --> 00:19:38,092 But it's really beautiful. 549 00:19:38,259 --> 00:19:39,260 Thank you. 550 00:19:39,293 --> 00:19:40,728 A Name from the Sky, tell me what inspired 551 00:19:40,828 --> 00:19:41,929 the writing of the book. 552 00:19:42,030 --> 00:19:44,832 So I was in Los Angeles just before the pandemic, 553 00:19:44,932 --> 00:19:46,100 and I was working, right? 554 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:47,869 And my mom from Germany was there, 555 00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:51,205 helping with my daughter, who was about one at the time. 556 00:19:51,305 --> 00:19:52,740 And then the world shut down. 557 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:55,677 And weeks turned into months literally. 558 00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:57,345 And I hadn't spent this much time with my mom 559 00:19:57,445 --> 00:19:58,846 since I was 16. 560 00:19:58,946 --> 00:20:01,983 And we started talking about my childhood and stories, 561 00:20:02,083 --> 00:20:03,117 you know, I had forgotten. 562 00:20:03,217 --> 00:20:05,787 And so-- and I remember that when I was a kid-- 563 00:20:05,887 --> 00:20:07,922 and I was kind of an odd kid-- 564 00:20:08,022 --> 00:20:10,491 that she changed my life by telling 565 00:20:10,591 --> 00:20:12,727 me the meaning of my name, which 566 00:20:12,827 --> 00:20:14,228 was quite unusual in Germany. 567 00:20:14,262 --> 00:20:15,229 I know that sounds strange. 568 00:20:15,263 --> 00:20:17,465 Diane-- it's not a uncommon name. 569 00:20:17,565 --> 00:20:19,267 Yeah, you talk about that in the book, but Diane-- 570 00:20:19,367 --> 00:20:21,235 I didn't know-- is not common in Germany. 571 00:20:21,336 --> 00:20:22,236 It's not common at all. 572 00:20:22,337 --> 00:20:24,138 So do they say Diane, or do they say-- 573 00:20:24,238 --> 00:20:26,841 They say "Deanna," and it rhymes with banana, 574 00:20:26,941 --> 00:20:28,009 like Deanna, banana. 575 00:20:28,109 --> 00:20:29,010 TREVOR NOAH: Oh, wow. 576 00:20:29,110 --> 00:20:30,278 So, yeah, I was-- 577 00:20:30,378 --> 00:20:31,813 TREVOR NOAH: Even in Germany, the kids are the same. 578 00:20:31,913 --> 00:20:32,914 [laughter] 579 00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:33,915 If not worse. 580 00:20:34,015 --> 00:20:36,551 [laughs] Deanna de banana-- 581 00:20:36,651 --> 00:20:38,052 OK, I can see it. 582 00:20:38,152 --> 00:20:40,888 But, look, so I started writing things down. 583 00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:44,726 And I thought, well, if I felt odd with a name like Diane, 584 00:20:44,826 --> 00:20:46,961 I'm sure there's lots of kids that feel odd about their name 585 00:20:47,061 --> 00:20:48,863 or they feel that they don't fit in. 586 00:20:48,963 --> 00:20:50,431 And so I started writing it down. 587 00:20:50,531 --> 00:20:52,467 And I thought about my own daughter 588 00:20:52,567 --> 00:20:54,469 and how long we thought about giving her name. 589 00:20:54,569 --> 00:20:55,870 And that's kind of how it started. 590 00:20:55,970 --> 00:20:58,206 TREVOR NOAH: It's a really wonderful book about belonging 591 00:20:58,272 --> 00:21:00,108 about understanding where you come from, why you're 592 00:21:00,208 --> 00:21:01,643 special, why you're important. 593 00:21:01,743 --> 00:21:05,446 When you think of your life as a mom now, 594 00:21:05,546 --> 00:21:09,217 what are some of the things you hope to instill in your child 595 00:21:09,250 --> 00:21:12,320 that you wish every child should have? 596 00:21:12,420 --> 00:21:16,257 I really, truly believe that every child that is born 597 00:21:16,357 --> 00:21:17,925 is perfect as it is, right? 598 00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:19,427 And we all have-- 599 00:21:19,527 --> 00:21:21,896 I can see it in my daughter and her friends. 600 00:21:21,996 --> 00:21:24,599 They all have something special that is so powerful. 601 00:21:24,699 --> 00:21:26,067 And they don't know it yet, right? 602 00:21:26,234 --> 00:21:29,270 And when I became a mom, I felt the responsibility 603 00:21:29,370 --> 00:21:31,939 and the opportunity to give her wings, 604 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:32,940 like, to curate her world-- 605 00:21:33,041 --> 00:21:34,075 TREVOR NOAH: I love that. 606 00:21:34,242 --> 00:21:36,110 --so that she can be whoever she wants to be, 607 00:21:36,244 --> 00:21:38,112 whether that's-- not everybody can be an actor-- 608 00:21:38,246 --> 00:21:39,947 whether she wants to sell ice cream 609 00:21:40,048 --> 00:21:40,915 in Washington Square Park. 610 00:21:41,015 --> 00:21:41,983 TREVOR NOAH: Right, right. 611 00:21:42,083 --> 00:21:44,352 But whatever makes you you is great, right? 612 00:21:44,452 --> 00:21:46,621 And so I didn't grow up like this. 613 00:21:46,721 --> 00:21:48,990 But my mom changed my life when she 614 00:21:49,090 --> 00:21:51,659 said, at 15, you can quit school 615 00:21:51,759 --> 00:21:53,261 and go to Paris for a year. 616 00:21:53,361 --> 00:21:55,196 TREVOR NOAH: Wow. - But she really did. 617 00:21:55,263 --> 00:21:56,197 She trusted me, right? 618 00:21:56,297 --> 00:21:57,498 She said, OK, I'm going to trust you. 619 00:21:57,598 --> 00:22:00,201 Because I was going to get kicked out of school 620 00:22:00,234 --> 00:22:01,736 for working as a model. 621 00:22:01,836 --> 00:22:02,737 And my principal said-- 622 00:22:02,837 --> 00:22:03,805 TREVOR NOAH: Wait. 623 00:22:03,905 --> 00:22:05,406 Your school was going to kick you out-- 624 00:22:05,506 --> 00:22:06,574 - Yeah. - --for working as a model. 625 00:22:06,674 --> 00:22:08,209 Yeah, because I was getting jobs in Paris, 626 00:22:08,276 --> 00:22:09,210 and I was missing school. 627 00:22:09,277 --> 00:22:11,212 This is a German school, I'm assuming. 628 00:22:11,245 --> 00:22:12,246 OK. 629 00:22:12,347 --> 00:22:13,548 Yeah, that sounds like a very German thing. 630 00:22:13,648 --> 00:22:14,682 Yeah. 631 00:22:14,782 --> 00:22:16,484 They're just like, nein, kinder cannot be sexy. 632 00:22:16,584 --> 00:22:17,752 Nein. OK. 633 00:22:17,852 --> 00:22:18,886 Exactly. 634 00:22:18,987 --> 00:22:22,223 And when I told my mom, I couldn't 635 00:22:22,323 --> 00:22:24,625 believe it that she said to me, no, I'm going to trust you. 636 00:22:24,726 --> 00:22:26,060 OK, I know this is what you want to do. 637 00:22:26,227 --> 00:22:27,061 TREVOR NOAH: That is wild. 638 00:22:27,228 --> 00:22:28,296 You should go. 639 00:22:28,396 --> 00:22:29,697 TREVOR NOAH: And you've never looked back. 640 00:22:29,797 --> 00:22:33,568 No, but it's truly the reason why I am who I am today. 641 00:22:33,668 --> 00:22:35,770 The life that I've had is thanks to that. 642 00:22:35,870 --> 00:22:38,840 And that's one of the reasons I wrote this book is because I 643 00:22:38,940 --> 00:22:41,409 feel like we can make that happen for children, 644 00:22:41,509 --> 00:22:42,577 and we should trust them. 645 00:22:42,677 --> 00:22:43,578 I love that. 646 00:22:43,678 --> 00:22:44,946 And how old is your daughter now? 647 00:22:45,046 --> 00:22:45,980 She just turned four. 648 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:47,515 So she can read the book with you. 649 00:22:47,615 --> 00:22:48,616 She must love it. 650 00:22:48,716 --> 00:22:49,884 What does she think about the book that's 651 00:22:49,984 --> 00:22:51,786 written and inspired by her? 652 00:22:51,886 --> 00:22:54,322 You know, it's a little touchy, feely at first. 653 00:22:54,422 --> 00:22:55,323 [laughter] 654 00:22:55,423 --> 00:22:56,724 TREVOR NOAH: Wait, wait. 655 00:22:56,824 --> 00:22:58,559 I mean, she totally called BS on me being a goddess, right? 656 00:22:58,660 --> 00:23:02,230 It's just like, definitely you're not a goddess. 657 00:23:02,330 --> 00:23:04,232 She was not pleased with my choice 658 00:23:04,332 --> 00:23:05,800 of having red shoes on her dress 659 00:23:05,900 --> 00:23:07,635 with a blue dress and red shoes. 660 00:23:07,735 --> 00:23:09,404 That was a minor meltdown. 661 00:23:09,504 --> 00:23:11,005 She hated her outfit in the book? 662 00:23:11,105 --> 00:23:12,940 - Yes. - I like your daughter. 663 00:23:13,041 --> 00:23:13,941 I like this already. 664 00:23:14,042 --> 00:23:15,109 Yeah. 665 00:23:15,209 --> 00:23:16,844 Now she's four. 666 00:23:16,944 --> 00:23:18,212 It's getting a little better. 667 00:23:18,313 --> 00:23:19,947 And when I told her, you know, I've been on this book tour, 668 00:23:20,048 --> 00:23:21,582 and I said, I need to leave because I'm 669 00:23:21,683 --> 00:23:24,352 talking about your book, honey, and she just started crying. 670 00:23:24,452 --> 00:23:25,586 She said, please, don't sell my book. 671 00:23:25,687 --> 00:23:26,587 It's my story. 672 00:23:26,688 --> 00:23:28,089 I don't won't you to sell it. 673 00:23:28,222 --> 00:23:29,223 So it's cute. - I love this. 674 00:23:29,290 --> 00:23:30,224 Well, you know what? 675 00:23:30,291 --> 00:23:32,126 It's a wonderful story. 676 00:23:32,226 --> 00:23:34,128 I love seeing you express your life 677 00:23:34,228 --> 00:23:35,263 in a completely different way. 678 00:23:35,363 --> 00:23:36,397 Thank you so much for joining us. 679 00:23:36,497 --> 00:23:37,732 Thank you so much. 680 00:23:37,832 --> 00:23:41,769 Merci, gracias, danke schoen, siyabonga, [non-english].. 681 00:23:41,869 --> 00:23:42,870 Thank you so much for being here. 682 00:23:42,970 --> 00:23:43,938 Oh, no he's bragging. No, you were right. 683 00:23:44,038 --> 00:23:45,173 Thank you so much for being on the show. 684 00:23:45,239 --> 00:23:46,407 Really appreciate you. 685 00:23:46,507 --> 00:23:48,376 A Name in the Sky is available now. 686 00:23:48,476 --> 00:23:49,777 Make sure you get it for you and your kid. 687 00:23:49,877 --> 00:23:50,912 Diane Kruger, everybody. 688 00:23:51,012 --> 00:23:52,213 All right, we're going to take a quick break. 689 00:23:52,313 --> 00:23:53,715 We'll be right back after this. 690 00:23:53,815 --> 00:23:54,716 Thank you very much. 691 00:23:54,816 --> 00:23:58,486 [cheering] 692 00:24:03,658 --> 00:24:05,160 [applause] 693 00:24:05,260 --> 00:24:06,361 Well, that's our show for tonight. 694 00:24:06,461 --> 00:24:07,495 Thank you so much for tuning in. 695 00:24:07,595 --> 00:24:09,431 But before we go, before we go, I 696 00:24:09,531 --> 00:24:13,068 wanted to remind you that tomorrow is Vote Early Day. 697 00:24:13,168 --> 00:24:16,971 So make your plan to vote early, at voteearly.org. 698 00:24:17,072 --> 00:24:18,573 The midterm elections are approaching 699 00:24:18,673 --> 00:24:21,376 and the stakes are higher than they've been for generations. 700 00:24:21,476 --> 00:24:23,178 So please, make sure that your voice counts. 701 00:24:23,278 --> 00:24:25,547 And by the way, we're going to be seeing you 702 00:24:25,647 --> 00:24:26,981 next week in Atlanta, Georgia. 703 00:24:27,082 --> 00:24:28,917 The Daily Show is going to be going there and doing 704 00:24:29,017 --> 00:24:30,985 a whole week of shows from one of the biggest 705 00:24:31,086 --> 00:24:32,387 battleground states there is. 706 00:24:32,487 --> 00:24:33,822 Charlemagne tha God is coming up next. 707 00:24:33,922 --> 00:24:36,324 But first, here it is, your moment of zen. 708 00:24:36,424 --> 00:24:39,728 [applause] 709 00:24:39,828 --> 00:24:41,296 How much do you think you can get 710 00:24:41,396 --> 00:24:45,767 done if you've got the House and the Senate moving forward? 711 00:24:45,867 --> 00:24:47,168 I think the first thing is, we're going 712 00:24:47,268 --> 00:24:49,704 to stop all the bad stuff.