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Coming to you
from New York City,
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the only city in America,
it's The Daily Show!
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Tonight, Trump is
back in the race.
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How we got Black Friday.
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And Jonathan Majors.
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This is The Daily
Show with Trevor Noah.
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[applause]
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[cheering]
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What's going on everybody?
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Welcome to The Daily Show.
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I'm Trevor Noah, thank
you so much for tuning in
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and thank you for
coming out in person.
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Thank you for being
here, everybody.
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We've got a great
show for you tonight.
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Take a seat, let's get into it.
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Take a seat.
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We're going to find
out why Beyonce
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and Jay-Z might have beef.
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We'll see where Black
Friday came from.
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And if you loved the
Trump administration, then
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oh boy, have I got some
great news for you.
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So, let's do this
people, let's jump
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straight into
today's headlines.
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All right, before we get
into the big stories,
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let's catch up on a few other
things going on in the world,
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starting with the
Grammy Awards.
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Yesterday, the full list of
nominations was announced
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and Beyonce is leading the pack
with nine nominations, which
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amazingly, which
amazingly, ties her
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with her husband Jay-Z
for the all time record
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of 83 nominations.
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Yeah, yeah, makes your hashtag
marriage goals look like shit.
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Oh, and congratulations
to Amanda Gorman,
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the poet who got
her first nomination
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for Best Spoken Word Album.
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That's pretty amazing.
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Congratulations to her.
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And to Joe Biden, who
got a nomination for best
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we think those words album?
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Well done, sir, well done.
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In tech news.
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Elon Musk is continuing
his makeover of Twitter
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by telling employees
that from now
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on, the work environment
will be quote,
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"extremely hard core."
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Yeah, and they should
prepare themselves.
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But if anyone insults
him, he'll call his mommy
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and fire them.
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That's not hard
core, it's just mean.
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And by the way, I
don't know if he afford
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to fire any more employees.
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He's already fired
half of the company.
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Pretty soon Elon Musk is
going to be the only one
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working at Twitter.
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We're going to be sitting there
like, why haven't my tweets
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updated for like 20 minutes?
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And Elon will be like,
sorry, I was taking a shit,
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it was so hard core.
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All right, where was I?
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Oh, in international
news, NATO has announced
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that the stray missiles
that hit Poland yesterday
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were not fired by Russia
after all as was reported.
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Yeah, they were actually
Ukrainian missiles
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being launched against
Russian attackers.
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So the good news, is
that NATO doesn't have
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to go to war against Russia.
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The bad news is, it now
has to go against Ukraine.
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Yeah, rules are rules.
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The rules are rules.
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I'm just glad it wasn't
what we thought it was.
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And Poland is like,
we still got bombed!
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All right, let's move on to
the big story of the day.
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As you know, America's
midterm election
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was just one week ago.
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The votes in many districts
are still being counted.
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The runoff for
Georgia's Senate seat
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is still three weeks away.
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And Wolf Blitzer
is still waking up
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in the middle of the night
shouting, key race alert!
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Key race alert!
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My point is, the 2022
midterms are not over,
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which means now is the
perfect time to start
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covering the 2024 election.
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[triumphant music]
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There have been so many
times over the last two years
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when people have said
that Donald Jobless
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Trump was finished for sure.
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They said he was
finished when he
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lost to an ancient artifact.
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They said he was
finished when he
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was impeached for
throwing a house
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party without his
parents' permission.
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When he got his hand
stuck under the fridge
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trying to get a
Cadbury Creme Egg
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that rolled underneath there.
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Just let go of the egg, Donald.
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One thing people don't
realize is, Donald Trump
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doesn't care what
anyone else thinks
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about his political future.
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And you saw that last night,
because he swapped out
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the buffet table at
Mar-a-Lago for American flags
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and made a big announcement.
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On stage at his
South Florida estate,
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Donald Trump announcing
the White House
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run he's hinted at ever since
his 2020 election defeat.
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In order to make America
great and glorious again,
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I am tonight announcing
my candidacy for president
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of the United States.
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The former President,
impeached twice, including
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for his role in the
January 6 insurrection,
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placing himself at
the head of a movement
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to take power back
for his supporters.
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This is our country,
our government.
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Now at the center of
multiple investigations,
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Mr. Trump said a weaponized
justice system is
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the greatest threat to the US.
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We must conduct a
top to bottom overhaul
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to clean out the festering
rot and corruption
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of Washington, DC.
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And I'm a victim, I will
tell you, I'm a victim.
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That's right, folks, I'm
the biggest victim of all.
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Every time I do something
illegal, they come after me.
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I've done 30 illegal things.
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They've come after
me at least 20 times.
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It's so unfair, so unfair.
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As ridiculous as this
is, I'm actually glad
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he's being honest
about why he's running.
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He's running for the same
reason every shirtless guy
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on cops runs.
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The po-po is chasing
him, he said it.
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But this is what Trump does.
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He's always the victim.
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The poor billionaire who
only owns 15 golf courses
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and got to run the
world's most powerful
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country for four years.
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Oh, woe is me, oh.
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If Trump was a prince
in a fairy tale,
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the movie would suck
and the princess
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would never get saved.
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You know?
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The dwarves would
be like, please, we
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need you to save Snow White.
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And he's like, who's
going to save me?
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Do you know how many
stairs are in my castle?
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I'm so tired.
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Do you know how hard it is to
pick from the lavish banquet
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my servers prepare for me?
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You'd be like, but she's
poisoned to eternal sleep.
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He'd be like, I
wish I could sleep.
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You know how hard it is to get
comfortable in a bed of coins?
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So hard.
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But that's right,
Trump is getting
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the old team back
together for one more
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run at the White House.
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And of course, I say that
metaphorically, since most
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of the old team is in jail.
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The point is though, he's
officially in the race.
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And you have to admit, this is
an interesting way to kick off
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your presidential campaign.
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Vote for me, I'm a
whiny, pissed baby.
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Because that's what most
of his speech was about.
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And apparently, he's
not the only victim.
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No, according to
the Donald, running
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America into the ground was
also very hard on his family.
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And it hasn't been a joy
ride for our great First
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Lady either.
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I go home and she says,
you look angry and upset.
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I say, just leave
me alone, I got it.
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Hasn't been the easiest thing.
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In fact, my one boy,
stand up, Eric, I
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think he got more
subpoenas than any man
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in the history of our country.
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So unfair.
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Al Capone, you all heard
of the great gangster.
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Al Capone got far less.
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Billy the Kid got almost none.
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Jesse James, no.
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Eric Trump got more subpoenas.
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He's a PhD in subpoenas.
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They come from Congress, they.
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Yeah, that's right.
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No one suffered more
from the Trump presidency
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than the Trump family.
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While the rest of you were
living it up in your border
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cages and enjoying an
endless buffet of COVID,
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Eric Trump was being asked
to answer some questions.
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What a hard life.
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And look, to be fair, I will
admit that Eric has gotten
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more subpoenas than
gunslingers like Billy
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the Kid and Jesse James.
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And those guys
in the Wild West,
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oh, they got a
lot of subpoenas.
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We've all seen the movies.
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I have papers for Mr. Ugly.
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Is Mr. Ugly here?
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You know what?
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You guys look busy.
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I'll come back later, yeah?
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And by the way, by the way,
that story that he told,
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that Trump told about
him and Melania,
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was anyone else
as surprised as I
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was to hear it
was Trump telling
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Melania to leave him alone?
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Yeah, Melania was
probably like, oh no,
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anything but that, oh.
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I'll give you some space.
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How about forever?
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Now you might be thinking this
speech probably sucked, right?
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00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:04,912
Because you're not a
fan of Donald Trump.
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00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:06,613
But it turns out,
even the people
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00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:10,784
who were there to see him
didn't exactly want to stay.
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00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,554
Trump displayed a
fraction of his 2016 energy.
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00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:15,756
The speech ran twice
as long as scheduled
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00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:19,593
and for long stretches, left
his crowd restless and silent.
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00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:21,695
This was teleprompter Trump.
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00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:24,431
Low energy, very, very unusual.
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00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:27,034
He started to get bored
and started to ad lib,
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00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:29,937
and it just turned into a
rambling mess in my opinion.
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Candidly, he was quite
subdued, low energy.
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00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:34,441
I thought this speech
tonight was lame.
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00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:35,709
I thought the crowd was lame.
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00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:39,246
Reporters inside the
ballroom at Mar-a-Lago noticed
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00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,315
a handful of Trump
supporters attempting
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00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:44,518
to leave before Trump
was done speaking,
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but security won't let them.
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[laughs]
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Oh, damn!
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Say what you will about
Trump, but the man takes
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00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:53,894
his border security seriously.
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Nobody's getting out.
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We're going to build a wall,
build a wall, keep them in.
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00:09:59,233 --> 00:10:01,869
But for real though, you know
a club is shitty when you need
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00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:03,203
a bouncer to keep people in.
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That's when you know
things are not going well.
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And I actually feel
bad for the crowd.
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They were probably
scared as hell.
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They're like, oh no,
we're trapped in here,
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Trump has us locked up.
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00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:13,614
He's locked us up.
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He's locked us up.
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And you know.
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[applause]
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And you know, Trump
aside, I will say,
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I will say it is
a little strange.
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00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:27,961
I'll be honest, I think
it is a little strange
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00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:31,064
that so many people
in the news media
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00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:35,736
were fixated on how
boring the speech was.
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00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:37,371
Like, who cares?
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00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:40,707
For years they were
like, this is not normal!
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And now they're like,
this is too normal!
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Say something
about the Mexicans.
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00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:48,482
We need ratings, Donald.
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00:10:48,582 --> 00:10:51,185
Now, despite Trump's triumphant
return, the word on the street
254
00:10:51,285 --> 00:10:53,654
is that he might not have the
support that he needs to win.
255
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:55,856
Yeah, apparently, Republican
elites are clamoring
256
00:10:55,956 --> 00:10:57,391
for Ron DeSantis, all right.
257
00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:59,760
Major Republican donors
have announced that they
258
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,395
won't back Trump this time.
259
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,729
Even Ivanka
released a statement
260
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,498
saying she doesn't want to
be a part of the campaign.
261
00:11:04,598 --> 00:11:07,067
Instead, she wants to
focus on her family.
262
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:08,268
Which, of course, I understand.
263
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:11,972
I mean, she's got that
adorable little boy at home.
264
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:14,808
And I think she
has kids, you know.
265
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:17,344
So yeah, a lot of major
players in the Republican world
266
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:19,713
are not thrilled that Donald
Trump is running again.
267
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:24,685
Although apparently,
many Democrats are happy.
268
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:27,721
Yeah, including people like
Bernie Sanders, who said
269
00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:31,158
Trump running may be a
horror show for the country,
270
00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:35,529
but "I got to say that as a
politician who wants to see
271
00:11:35,629 --> 00:11:37,531
that no Republican is
elected to the White House
272
00:11:37,631 --> 00:11:41,001
in 2024, from that
perspective, his candidacy
273
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:44,805
is probably a good thing."
274
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:48,775
And yeah, you know,
Bernie is probably right.
275
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,644
Democrats should be
praying for Donald Trump
276
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:53,113
to win the nomination so
that they can easily crush
277
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,481
him in the general election.
278
00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:58,018
Yeah, that kind of thinking
has never horribly backfired.
279
00:11:58,118 --> 00:11:59,853
Just ask President
Hillary Clinton.
280
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:02,389
What could go wrong?
281
00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:04,625
But for real, people, are we
really going to do this again?
282
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:05,959
Are we going to do
everything the same?
283
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,195
The Democrats are going
to hope to face Trump.
284
00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:09,796
The media is going
to write him off
285
00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:11,164
because Republicans
don't support him,
286
00:12:11,265 --> 00:12:12,299
forgetting that
Republicans didn't
287
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,467
support him the first time?
288
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,335
Then he got on stage,
roasted Chris Christie,
289
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:17,304
slapped Jeb Bush so hard
his whole family felt it.
290
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,072
And then all of a sudden,
the whole Republican Party
291
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:21,074
was like, you are our king now.
292
00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:24,545
And Ted Cruz's wife is ugly.
293
00:12:24,645 --> 00:12:26,680
And before you say oh, but
this time is different,
294
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:27,814
we beat him already.
295
00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:30,083
Yeah, remember that he
only lost to Joe Biden
296
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:33,153
by 44,000 votes.
297
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:36,356
And that was during a pandemic,
where Trump told everyone
298
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:37,558
to bleach their lungs.
299
00:12:37,658 --> 00:12:41,528
He's probably not going to
do that again, probably.
300
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:44,231
And you're probably like, yeah,
but this year, all of Trump's
301
00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:45,566
MAGA election deniers lost.
302
00:12:45,666 --> 00:12:49,636
Yeah, but they lost
by like 1%, 1%.
303
00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:52,840
Those are not [bleep] and
find out margins, people.
304
00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:54,408
Those are the kind of
margins with anything
305
00:12:54,508 --> 00:12:55,676
is a little bit
different next time,
306
00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:57,110
Trump could win those states.
307
00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:58,145
Gas prices could be higher.
308
00:12:58,245 --> 00:12:59,313
The economy could be worse.
309
00:12:59,413 --> 00:13:00,781
Joe Biden could
keep getting older.
310
00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:03,383
Anything is possible.
311
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,385
But no, I guess
everyone's going to act
312
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:07,821
out the same roles as 2016.
313
00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,556
The Democrats are
going to hope he wins.
314
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,325
Republicans aren't
going to stand
315
00:13:11,425 --> 00:13:13,160
up to him until it's too late.
316
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:15,896
And the news will give him live
coverage for every single word
317
00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:16,897
that he utters.
318
00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:18,065
I just pooped again.
319
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:20,067
Breaking news!
320
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,435
But I'll tell you
what, if we're
321
00:13:21,535 --> 00:13:24,905
all going to do the same things
again, just let me know now.
322
00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:26,740
Because this time
I'll be prepared.
323
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,108
I'll go visit all the
shithole countries
324
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:30,377
before the borders are closed.
325
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,279
I'll invest in Tiki
torches, and best believe,
326
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:34,214
I'm going to stock up on a
shit ton of toilet paper,
327
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:37,150
because I'm not using my
socks again, you hear me?
328
00:13:37,251 --> 00:13:38,185
That is not happening again.
329
00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:39,486
All right, that's it
for the headlines.
330
00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:40,821
But before we go,
let's check in
331
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:42,823
on the traffic with our very
own Roy Wood Jr., everybody!
332
00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:44,391
[applause]
[cheering]
333
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:47,561
What's happening, man?
334
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:49,162
What is happening, Roy?
335
00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:50,631
What is happening
in the traffic?
336
00:13:50,731 --> 00:13:52,666
What do you mean what's
happening in the traffic?
337
00:13:52,766 --> 00:13:53,767
Why do you want
me to turn around
338
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:55,536
and tell you to traffic?
You facing the wall.
339
00:13:55,636 --> 00:13:57,104
You tell me what's
happening with the traffic.
340
00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:58,539
Why is it so hard for you
to tell me what's happening?
341
00:13:58,639 --> 00:14:00,040
Just tell me what's
happening in the traffic.
342
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:01,508
Not focused on the
traffic right now.
343
00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:04,545
I'm more focused on you telling
us to take Trump serious.
344
00:14:04,645 --> 00:14:07,047
Like, Trump don't
take Trump serious.
345
00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:08,048
What?
346
00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:09,716
Trump don't take
himself serious.
347
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:12,085
Bro, he announced
it from the crib.
348
00:14:12,186 --> 00:14:14,388
He announced, he
ran for president,
349
00:14:14,488 --> 00:14:16,156
he was upstairs in
his drawers and it
350
00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:17,925
was like, let me go
downstairs real quick
351
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:19,960
and do this president thing.
352
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:22,062
He didn't even
change his slogan.
353
00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:25,165
He's just doing this to
get rid of all the old MAGA
354
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:27,201
merch from last time, man.
355
00:14:27,301 --> 00:14:28,302
Wait, what?
356
00:14:28,402 --> 00:14:30,237
Hell, if he sell it
all, he might drop out.
357
00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:35,642
I bought three boxes of
MAGA hats for democracy.
358
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:38,212
Plus, the other thing with
this man, Trump deep down,
359
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:40,614
Trump know he can't
beat DeSantis.
360
00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:45,219
He be, look at DeSantis, look
at that man, look at that man.
361
00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:48,889
Them some bad bitch
boots right there!
362
00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:52,492
Trump could never.
363
00:14:52,593 --> 00:14:53,493
Trump can't beat that man.
364
00:14:53,594 --> 00:14:54,494
He got all the vote.
365
00:14:54,595 --> 00:14:55,696
He got the conservative
vote up top,
366
00:14:55,796 --> 00:14:57,898
he got the gay vote down low.
367
00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:01,101
He iron-clad.
368
00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:03,470
Look, DeSantis looks
so good in them boots,
369
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:06,740
Trump might try to
grab him by the pussy.
370
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,376
Those are nice boots.
371
00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:10,577
OK, you know what?
372
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:12,846
Let's just get, let's just
get to the traffic, Roy.
373
00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:13,814
Let's get to the traffic.
374
00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:16,350
Here's a thing
about Elon Musk.
375
00:15:16,450 --> 00:15:18,352
Can we talk, can we talk
about Elon Musk for a second?
376
00:15:18,452 --> 00:15:19,386
I mean, I guess.
377
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:20,654
We're supposed to do
traffic, but yeah.
378
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:22,155
Talking crazy to
people in the emails.
379
00:15:22,256 --> 00:15:23,624
Every day Elon doing something.
380
00:15:23,724 --> 00:15:26,793
Send out that email telling all
their employees to step it up.
381
00:15:26,894 --> 00:15:29,830
Also, sidebar, if I
worked at Twitter,
382
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:32,966
I just wouldn't open my emails.
383
00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:34,801
Stop opening your email
if you work at Twitter.
384
00:15:34,902 --> 00:15:35,802
It's like divorce.
385
00:15:35,903 --> 00:15:38,605
You got to hand me the papers.
386
00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:42,376
You can't fire me if
I don't open my email.
387
00:15:42,476 --> 00:15:44,711
Elon been slinging them
emails for two weeks, man,
388
00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:46,113
and it ain't been no
good news or nothing.
389
00:15:46,213 --> 00:15:47,447
It ain't like you
work at Twitter,
390
00:15:47,548 --> 00:15:49,283
open your email,
good news, everybody,
391
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:50,717
strippers in the break room.
392
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:52,786
Like, all right,
thank you, Elon.
393
00:15:52,886 --> 00:15:54,087
The email was wile.
394
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:55,756
Did you read the email
that he sent out?
395
00:15:55,856 --> 00:15:57,291
I read the emails.
I read them, they were insane.
396
00:15:57,391 --> 00:15:58,525
He had this whole thing.
397
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:01,094
He was like from now on
we're going to be extremely
398
00:16:01,195 --> 00:16:03,297
hard core, working long hours.
399
00:16:03,397 --> 00:16:04,665
It was like high intensity.
400
00:16:04,765 --> 00:16:06,033
Oh, and then he
said like and only
401
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:08,836
exceptional performance will
constitute a passing grade.
402
00:16:08,936 --> 00:16:10,437
If you don't want to be
part of the new Twitter,
403
00:16:10,537 --> 00:16:11,438
then you can get out!
404
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:12,706
It's sounded crazy,
to be honest.
405
00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:13,707
Yeah, yeah.
406
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:16,109
I mean, well, crazy for a CEO.
407
00:16:16,210 --> 00:16:17,277
What do you mean?
408
00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:19,813
Not that, like, it's
crazy if a CEO said that.
409
00:16:19,913 --> 00:16:21,548
That was Elon's mistake.
410
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,951
You want to talk to
people like that, fine.
411
00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:26,653
But you can't call
yourself a CEO.
412
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:27,855
You want to talk
to people crazy,
413
00:16:27,955 --> 00:16:31,325
you got to call
yourself a head coach.
414
00:16:31,425 --> 00:16:32,326
Why?
415
00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:34,761
Nobody, nobody
is more verbally
416
00:16:34,862 --> 00:16:38,065
abusive to their employees
than a head coach.
417
00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:39,399
You ever played a sport?
418
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,069
You ever had your coach always
talking crazy, I want blood,
419
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:46,974
I want pain, water makes you
weak, you can't have no water!
420
00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:49,543
If Elon wants to keep
from getting in trouble,
421
00:16:49,643 --> 00:16:51,578
run Twitter like a head coach.
422
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,247
First off, stop
emailing everybody.
423
00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:55,516
Call a huddle, bring
all your employees in,
424
00:16:55,616 --> 00:16:57,484
because everything
in that Elon email,
425
00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,319
if everything Elon
said in that email,
426
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:02,422
if he said it in a locker
room, it don't sound as bad.
427
00:17:02,523 --> 00:17:04,124
Like Elon could be
a Twitter coach.
428
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:07,661
He just has hit little coaching
and bring it in, bring it in.
429
00:17:07,761 --> 00:17:09,363
Bring it in, Twitter team.
430
00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:10,764
Bring it in.
431
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:14,368
OK, Twitter team, Twitter team.
432
00:17:14,468 --> 00:17:15,903
We're in a competitive world.
433
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:18,805
We need to be hard core,
long hours, high intensity,
434
00:17:18,906 --> 00:17:22,075
only exceptional
performance will
435
00:17:22,176 --> 00:17:23,277
constitute a passing grade.
436
00:17:23,377 --> 00:17:26,046
Engineers, I need
you to drive us,
437
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:30,083
we are a software
and services company!
438
00:17:30,184 --> 00:17:33,053
If you are sure that you want
to be a part of team Twitter,
439
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:37,391
then please click yes on
the link below in the email.
440
00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:41,962
And you make sure that they
remember forever the night
441
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:45,599
they played the Titans!
442
00:17:45,699 --> 00:17:46,834
Give me a blue check on 3!
443
00:17:46,934 --> 00:17:48,135
1,2, 3 blue check!
444
00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:49,136
Put it up!
445
00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:50,170
Roy Wood Jr., everybody.
446
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:51,605
I'm inspired.
447
00:17:51,705 --> 00:17:53,073
I'm inspired.
448
00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:54,208
I want to be an engineer.
449
00:17:54,308 --> 00:17:55,876
All right, don't go away,
because after the break,
450
00:17:55,976 --> 00:17:57,945
Desi Lydic is going to expose
the truth about Black Friday.
451
00:17:58,078 --> 00:17:58,946
We'll be right back.
452
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:00,013
I want to join.
453
00:18:00,047 --> 00:18:02,816
You want the traffic?
454
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,686
I'm in the blue cap.
455
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:17,430
[cheering]
456
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,134
Welcome back to
The Daily Show.
457
00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:23,503
Next Thursday night,
America celebrates
458
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:27,707
the holiday that defines it
as a nation, Black Friday.
459
00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:29,509
But where did Black
Friday come from?
460
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,878
Well, to find out, we turn to
Desi Lydic in another episode
461
00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:33,946
of Why Do We Celebrate This?
462
00:18:34,047 --> 00:18:35,782
Hey, get back.
463
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:36,883
This one's mine.
464
00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:38,551
You all ready to die
for this flat screen?
465
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:39,786
Because I am.
466
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:45,558
[music playing]
467
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:48,728
Hello, my shopaholics,
Maxxinista, mall rats,
468
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:51,330
coupon clippers, bargain
bitches, capitalism warriors,
469
00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:52,765
and sale sluts.
470
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:57,303
It's the holidays, and that
means one thing, family.
471
00:18:57,403 --> 00:18:58,471
No, I'm kidding.
472
00:18:58,571 --> 00:18:59,972
That means shopping.
473
00:19:00,073 --> 00:19:01,407
Family?
474
00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:03,109
What the [bleep]?
475
00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:05,111
Like many of you, I,
too, will be going out
476
00:19:05,211 --> 00:19:06,979
on Black Friday, one
of America's most
477
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:08,981
treasured excuses to buy shit.
478
00:19:09,082 --> 00:19:10,616
And Black Friday
seems like something
479
00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:11,918
that's been around forever.
480
00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:13,786
I mean, I can't
remember a time when
481
00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:15,588
Black Friday didn't exist.
482
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,056
Then again, my
memory is a little
483
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:20,860
fuzzy from all the head trauma
from previous Black Fridays.
484
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,863
The history of Black Friday
is actually quite interesting.
485
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:26,232
It started in the 1920s,
when retail stores
486
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:28,234
wanted to set a clear
beginning to the Christmas
487
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:29,602
shopping season.
488
00:19:29,635 --> 00:19:32,071
So department stores like
Macy's created grand parades
489
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:35,775
to signal to Americans it's
time to start spending cash.
490
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:37,610
Although back then,
parade balloons weren't
491
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:39,078
as cute as the ones today.
492
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:42,715
You know, classics like
Puff the meth-fueled dragon,
493
00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:46,652
whimsical drifter murderer,
and thick daddy Superman.
494
00:19:46,753 --> 00:19:48,121
Maybe they were
hoping to scare people
495
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:49,288
to run inside the stores.
496
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:50,656
I don't know.
497
00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:53,459
The point is retailers depended
on a big Christmas shopping
498
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:56,029
season and were willing to
do whatever it took to make
499
00:19:56,129 --> 00:19:57,997
it as long as possible.
500
00:19:58,097 --> 00:19:59,632
In fact, during the
Great Depression,
501
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,734
they even lobbied President
Franklin Roosevelt
502
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:04,270
to move Thanksgiving a
week earlier to allow
503
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:05,738
for more Christmas shopping.
504
00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:08,241
And after his cousin finished
giving him a handjob,
505
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:09,475
FDR agreed.
506
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,411
Eventually, they moved
Thanksgiving back,
507
00:20:11,577 --> 00:20:12,979
but the retailers
got what they wanted.
508
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:14,647
Because over the
next few decades,
509
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,949
more and more people began
their Christmas shopping
510
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:18,985
the day after Thanksgiving.
511
00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:21,287
But the first time the day
was called Black Friday
512
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:23,089
was in the 1960s.
513
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:25,491
It was actually coined by the
Philadelphia Police Department
514
00:20:25,591 --> 00:20:28,594
because the day brought
tons of traffic and chaos.
515
00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:31,497
And for shopping to cause
chaos in Philadelphia,
516
00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:33,733
it has to really be chaos.
517
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:36,703
I once set fire to a mannequin
at a Zara in Philadelphia,
518
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:38,471
and they didn't even
kick me out of the store.
519
00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:40,907
They just threw it in
the burnt mannequin pile.
520
00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:41,908
Sorry.
521
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:42,942
[chuckles]
522
00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:44,844
It was in the 1980s
that Black Friday
523
00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:46,379
finally went nationwide.
524
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:49,015
And it was all thanks
to America's obsession
525
00:20:49,115 --> 00:20:50,750
with the adorable
little vegetable
526
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:54,921
human monster hybrids known
as the Cabbage Patch Kids.
527
00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:57,090
I got this one
for $3,000, and I
528
00:20:57,190 --> 00:20:59,325
had to get punched by a
lot of grandmas to get it.
529
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:02,528
But it was worth it.
530
00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:04,030
The toys were in
such high demand
531
00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:06,699
that it caused literal
riots across America.
532
00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:08,801
People fought their
neighbors tooth and nail
533
00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:11,170
to pay for some
lettuce-shaped plastic.
534
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:14,474
But all the violence was worth
it for that precious Christmas
535
00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:16,609
morning when their kids
would open the box,
536
00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:19,879
see the Cabbage Patch Kid,
and then play with the box.
537
00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:21,748
The Cabbage Patch
Kids set the standard
538
00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:23,750
for all sorts of
Black Friday crazes
539
00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:27,620
throughout the '90s from Furbys
to Beanie Babies to Tickle Me
540
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,455
Elmos to countless
other toys bought
541
00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:31,491
by newly-divorced dads
trying to buy their way
542
00:21:31,591 --> 00:21:33,726
into their kids' hearts.
543
00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:36,829
By 2002, nearly
3/4 of all shoppers
544
00:21:36,929 --> 00:21:38,898
were in stores over
Black Friday weekend.
545
00:21:38,998 --> 00:21:42,035
It was paradise for
people looking for deals,
546
00:21:42,135 --> 00:21:44,437
and robbers looking
for unguarded homes.
547
00:21:44,604 --> 00:21:47,607
Black Friday was so successful
that stores started pushing
548
00:21:47,673 --> 00:21:51,711
the start time back from Friday
morning to Friday at midnight,
549
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:54,947
and then all the way back to
Thanksgiving night itself.
550
00:21:55,048 --> 00:21:58,117
They called the new holiday
Gray Thursday as a tribute
551
00:21:58,217 --> 00:22:00,019
to the moral gray
area of abandoning
552
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:01,821
your family on
Thanksgiving to choke out
553
00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:03,056
a stranger for an Instapot.
554
00:22:03,156 --> 00:22:04,057
[ding]
555
00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:06,125
Oh, it's ready.
556
00:22:06,225 --> 00:22:08,795
And throughout this time,
Black Friday doorbuster sales
557
00:22:08,895 --> 00:22:10,697
became more dangerous
as consumers
558
00:22:10,797 --> 00:22:15,835
turned every big box store
into a big octagon arena.
559
00:22:15,935 --> 00:22:19,172
It got so bad that in 2011,
you were statistically more
560
00:22:19,272 --> 00:22:21,374
likely to be injured
in a Black Friday sale
561
00:22:21,474 --> 00:22:22,875
than from a shark attack.
562
00:22:22,975 --> 00:22:25,912
Unless that shark is also
at the Black Friday sale,
563
00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:29,015
and then it depends on whoever
wants that blender more.
564
00:22:29,115 --> 00:22:30,083
Got it!
565
00:22:30,183 --> 00:22:31,284
Yes.
566
00:22:31,384 --> 00:22:33,619
But, sadly, the good times
and horrific injuries
567
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:34,954
couldn't last forever.
568
00:22:35,054 --> 00:22:36,589
With the dawn of
online shopping,
569
00:22:36,622 --> 00:22:38,458
Black Friday became
less relevant
570
00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:41,427
than the newer, shinier,
two-day-Primier holiday
571
00:22:41,594 --> 00:22:42,795
that took its place.
572
00:22:42,895 --> 00:22:46,199
Along came Cyber Monday, an
easier way to score deals
573
00:22:46,299 --> 00:22:48,601
while avoiding the mobs
at in-person stores.
574
00:22:48,668 --> 00:22:49,936
It's just another
way technology
575
00:22:50,036 --> 00:22:51,270
has pulled us further apart.
576
00:22:51,371 --> 00:22:53,306
I mean, sure, it's
more convenient,
577
00:22:53,406 --> 00:22:55,241
but think of what
we lose when we
578
00:22:55,341 --> 00:22:59,312
no longer have that one-on-one,
airfryer-to-skull contact.
579
00:22:59,412 --> 00:23:00,313
Sad.
580
00:23:00,413 --> 00:23:02,448
Also, in recent years,
retail employees
581
00:23:02,615 --> 00:23:05,752
have begun pushing back on
so-called holiday creep, which
582
00:23:05,852 --> 00:23:08,154
is a term for stores expanding
their holiday shopping
583
00:23:08,254 --> 00:23:11,090
periods into Thanksgiving,
not what happens when
584
00:23:11,190 --> 00:23:13,092
your weird cousin hits
the eggnog too hard
585
00:23:13,192 --> 00:23:16,129
and tries to go FDR
on your underparts.
586
00:23:16,229 --> 00:23:18,364
But even as its golden
days are behind it,
587
00:23:18,464 --> 00:23:21,667
Black Friday is still
an American institution,
588
00:23:21,768 --> 00:23:25,004
standing tall beside
Thanksgiving and the Super
589
00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:27,206
Bowl and the Purge.
590
00:23:27,306 --> 00:23:28,808
And now that you
know its history,
591
00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:31,077
don't forget to keep
it in perspective.
592
00:23:31,177 --> 00:23:33,579
Sure, saving money is
great, but this season
593
00:23:33,646 --> 00:23:35,948
isn't about fighting
some stranger at a store.
594
00:23:36,049 --> 00:23:39,952
It's about gathering your
family and fighting with them.
595
00:23:40,053 --> 00:23:41,721
So happy shopping season.
596
00:23:41,821 --> 00:23:43,489
Now, if you'll excuse
me, I got to start
597
00:23:43,589 --> 00:23:45,591
practicing for the big day.
598
00:23:45,658 --> 00:23:49,362
Hey, step away from that Dyson!
599
00:23:49,462 --> 00:23:51,364
You think I won't
pull out this pin?
600
00:23:51,464 --> 00:23:53,166
Well, guess what.
601
00:23:53,266 --> 00:23:54,267
Tick tock, mother--
602
00:23:54,367 --> 00:23:56,836
[music playing]
603
00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:58,037
Thank you so much
for that, Desi.
604
00:23:58,137 --> 00:23:59,439
All right, stay tuned,
because when we come back,
605
00:23:59,605 --> 00:24:01,374
Jonathan Majors will be joining
me right here on the show.
606
00:24:01,474 --> 00:24:02,375
You don't want to miss it.
607
00:24:02,475 --> 00:24:06,112
[cheering]
608
00:24:10,884 --> 00:24:15,489
[cheering]
609
00:24:15,589 --> 00:24:16,590
Welcome back to
The Daily Show.
610
00:24:16,690 --> 00:24:18,859
My guest tonight is an
Emmy-nominated actor
611
00:24:18,959 --> 00:24:22,362
who plays the first Black
aviator in Navy history
612
00:24:22,462 --> 00:24:25,098
in the new film Devotion,
which will be exclusively
613
00:24:25,198 --> 00:24:31,772
in theaters November 23.
614
00:24:31,872 --> 00:24:33,073
Jessie, stand down.
615
00:24:33,173 --> 00:24:37,644
That's an order.
616
00:24:37,744 --> 00:24:44,751
[gunfire]
617
00:24:54,595 --> 00:24:57,998
[explosion]
618
00:24:58,098 --> 00:24:59,533
That's a direct hit.
619
00:24:59,633 --> 00:25:00,634
That's a direct hit.
620
00:25:00,734 --> 00:25:02,069
Bridge is down.
621
00:25:02,169 --> 00:25:04,104
PILOT: That a boy, Jesse!
622
00:25:04,204 --> 00:25:05,539
Here we go, Ace.
623
00:25:05,639 --> 00:25:07,507
Please, welcome
Jonathan Majors.
624
00:25:07,608 --> 00:25:10,477
[cheering]
625
00:25:10,577 --> 00:25:17,551
[music playing]
626
00:25:21,955 --> 00:25:26,793
Oh, you got me flowers?
627
00:25:26,893 --> 00:25:28,295
Welcome.
628
00:25:28,395 --> 00:25:29,296
Welcome to the show.
629
00:25:29,396 --> 00:25:31,765
Thank you, Trevor.
630
00:25:31,865 --> 00:25:33,567
This is-- am I
holding these for you?
631
00:25:33,667 --> 00:25:34,568
Am I--
632
00:25:34,668 --> 00:25:36,236
No, no, no, no.
633
00:25:36,336 --> 00:25:37,237
Those are for you.
634
00:25:37,337 --> 00:25:38,405
TREVOR NOAH: These are for me?
635
00:25:38,505 --> 00:25:41,908
I think I heard you
got two weeks left maybe.
636
00:25:42,009 --> 00:25:44,378
[laughter]
637
00:25:44,511 --> 00:25:46,680
And so you brought
me my flowers.
638
00:25:46,780 --> 00:25:47,981
From the culture.
639
00:25:48,081 --> 00:25:49,182
Oh, man, this is--
640
00:25:49,283 --> 00:25:50,984
Those are your flowers,
B. And those are--
641
00:25:51,084 --> 00:25:52,552
I heard those are
South African.
642
00:25:52,653 --> 00:25:54,021
Yeah, this is beautiful.
JONATHAN MAJORS: Yeah.
643
00:25:54,121 --> 00:25:55,522
TREVOR NOAH: This is amazing.
JONATHAN MAJORS: Yeah.
644
00:25:55,589 --> 00:25:57,357
Well, no one else has
brought me flowers, man.
645
00:25:57,524 --> 00:25:59,226
[crowd awwing]
646
00:25:59,326 --> 00:26:02,396
[applause]
647
00:26:02,529 --> 00:26:06,900
This is-- wow.
648
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,969
Well, I had questions
to grill you on.
649
00:26:09,069 --> 00:26:09,970
But now I'm--
650
00:26:10,070 --> 00:26:10,971
We'll take it easy.
651
00:26:11,071 --> 00:26:12,572
Now we'll just
take it easy now.
652
00:26:12,673 --> 00:26:14,107
[laughs] No, but welcome.
Welcome to the show.
653
00:26:14,207 --> 00:26:15,242
What's up, bro?
654
00:26:15,342 --> 00:26:16,643
It is an absolute
pleasure to have you here.
655
00:26:16,743 --> 00:26:18,211
I mean, obviously,
for the new movie,
656
00:26:18,312 --> 00:26:20,647
but for everything
that you've been doing.
657
00:26:20,747 --> 00:26:23,583
You know, you hopped onto
many people's screens
658
00:26:23,684 --> 00:26:24,985
for the first time,
Last Black Man
659
00:26:25,085 --> 00:26:26,853
in San Francisco,
amazing film that I
660
00:26:26,954 --> 00:26:28,755
think everybody should watch.
661
00:26:28,855 --> 00:26:31,191
The way you carry a
character, then, obviously,
662
00:26:31,291 --> 00:26:33,794
Lovecraft Country, which you
got your Emmy nomination for.
663
00:26:33,894 --> 00:26:35,028
Congratulations on that.
664
00:26:35,128 --> 00:26:36,797
[cheering]
665
00:26:36,897 --> 00:26:38,498
You know?
666
00:26:38,599 --> 00:26:43,270
And now in this film,
it's amazing to be playing
667
00:26:43,370 --> 00:26:45,572
a character that more people
should know about because
668
00:26:45,672 --> 00:26:47,240
of what they represented.
669
00:26:47,341 --> 00:26:52,045
But to be playing the first
Black pilot in the Navy,
670
00:26:52,145 --> 00:26:55,749
many people talk about how
Black service members were
671
00:26:55,849 --> 00:26:57,217
fighting a war on two fronts.
672
00:26:57,317 --> 00:26:58,285
JONATHAN MAJORS: That's right.
673
00:26:58,385 --> 00:26:59,419
They weren't just
fighting against wars
674
00:26:59,519 --> 00:27:00,821
happening outside America.
675
00:27:00,921 --> 00:27:02,522
They were fighting against what
was happening inside America.
676
00:27:02,556 --> 00:27:03,724
And you portray
it in this film.
677
00:27:03,824 --> 00:27:04,791
Talk me through the whys.
678
00:27:04,891 --> 00:27:06,126
I know you're very
intentional about why.
679
00:27:06,226 --> 00:27:07,728
Why this movie, and
why this character?
680
00:27:07,828 --> 00:27:09,563
Wow.
681
00:27:09,663 --> 00:27:14,534
Well, I play a supervillain.
682
00:27:14,635 --> 00:27:17,471
And I thought this was an
opportunity to play a hero.
683
00:27:17,571 --> 00:27:19,206
TREVOR NOAH: I love that.
684
00:27:19,306 --> 00:27:23,377
When I-- so I'm from
Texas, Dallas, Texas.
685
00:27:23,477 --> 00:27:25,712
Came up-- came
up a certain way.
686
00:27:25,812 --> 00:27:28,849
Jessie Brown is
from Mississippi--
687
00:27:28,949 --> 00:27:29,850
Right.
688
00:27:29,950 --> 00:27:31,652
--and was the son
of a sharecropper.
689
00:27:31,752 --> 00:27:36,356
And somehow he made his way
from those sharecropping
690
00:27:36,490 --> 00:27:38,592
fields to the sky
and became not
691
00:27:38,692 --> 00:27:43,730
just a Black Naval aviator, but
the best Black Naval aviator.
692
00:27:43,830 --> 00:27:47,801
And I thought, OK, we've got
stories about King and Rosa
693
00:27:47,901 --> 00:27:49,036
Parks and Harriet Tubman.
694
00:27:49,136 --> 00:27:51,271
And we don't have a
story about this guy.
695
00:27:51,371 --> 00:27:53,607
And this is his handshake.
696
00:27:53,707 --> 00:27:54,908
This is the first
time they're going
697
00:27:55,008 --> 00:27:56,643
to say, OK, this is Jesse.
698
00:27:56,743 --> 00:27:57,811
This is Jesse, you know?
699
00:27:57,911 --> 00:27:58,879
TREVOR NOAH: Wow.
700
00:27:58,979 --> 00:28:00,647
And I wanted to be
responsible for that.
701
00:28:00,747 --> 00:28:01,882
And I also wanted
to fly some planes.
702
00:28:01,982 --> 00:28:03,116
So--
703
00:28:03,216 --> 00:28:05,018
What did you garner from
that experience that helped
704
00:28:05,118 --> 00:28:06,019
you in telling the story?
705
00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:07,020
Well, it was access.
706
00:28:07,120 --> 00:28:08,822
I mean, that was
the whole thing.
707
00:28:08,922 --> 00:28:10,691
That's Jesse's thing, access.
708
00:28:10,791 --> 00:28:12,159
It's quite poetic.
709
00:28:12,259 --> 00:28:13,360
It's a metaphor in a way.
710
00:28:13,460 --> 00:28:16,563
If you can touch the sky
in your life, in that way,
711
00:28:16,663 --> 00:28:18,465
you can pretty
much do anything.
712
00:28:18,498 --> 00:28:20,367
You know what I mean?
TREVOR NOAH: You truly can.
713
00:28:20,467 --> 00:28:21,368
You truly can.
714
00:28:21,468 --> 00:28:23,770
[applause]
715
00:28:23,870 --> 00:28:28,342
What I love noticing is how
many times the parallels will
716
00:28:28,475 --> 00:28:31,244
be drawn between characters
that great actors are playing
717
00:28:31,345 --> 00:28:33,513
and the lives that they
themselves are living.
718
00:28:33,614 --> 00:28:34,781
I think you're no different.
719
00:28:34,881 --> 00:28:37,651
You know, you're
ascending at a rate
720
00:28:37,751 --> 00:28:40,153
that everybody is enjoying.
721
00:28:40,254 --> 00:28:41,488
You truly are.
722
00:28:41,521 --> 00:28:45,292
You're flying from-- from
indie films to a show that
723
00:28:45,392 --> 00:28:48,495
was beloved on HBO, and
then now, as you said,
724
00:28:48,562 --> 00:28:50,130
you're going to be
in a Marvel movie
725
00:28:50,230 --> 00:28:52,633
and Marvel movies plural.
726
00:28:52,733 --> 00:28:56,103
[cheering]
727
00:28:56,203 --> 00:28:59,139
It's the opposite
end of the spectrum.
728
00:28:59,239 --> 00:29:01,908
It's so big.
729
00:29:02,009 --> 00:29:05,846
How do you hold onto the
small that you love in acting?
730
00:29:05,946 --> 00:29:06,847
Because I know that about you.
731
00:29:06,947 --> 00:29:09,516
You love the minute.
732
00:29:09,549 --> 00:29:13,086
But at the same time, we saw
you when you were in Loki.
733
00:29:13,186 --> 00:29:15,088
That was one of
the best surprises.
734
00:29:15,188 --> 00:29:16,623
You made a pretty
kickass villain.
735
00:29:16,723 --> 00:29:17,624
Yeah, you blow it up.
736
00:29:17,724 --> 00:29:18,625
You blow it up.
737
00:29:18,725 --> 00:29:20,627
I mean, I just--
738
00:29:20,727 --> 00:29:22,062
I love acting.
For me--
739
00:29:22,162 --> 00:29:23,063
TREVOR NOAH: Right.
It shows.
740
00:29:23,163 --> 00:29:24,064
Thank you, bro.
741
00:29:24,164 --> 00:29:27,467
For me, it's my
way of of healing.
742
00:29:27,567 --> 00:29:29,736
I mean, you see a character.
743
00:29:29,836 --> 00:29:33,173
You go, OK, it's like
getting to know somebody.
744
00:29:33,273 --> 00:29:34,708
You go, OK, cool.
745
00:29:34,808 --> 00:29:37,277
And though I am
pretty antisocial--
746
00:29:37,377 --> 00:29:38,278
Yeah.
747
00:29:38,378 --> 00:29:39,279
--I do love people.
748
00:29:39,379 --> 00:29:40,480
You know what I mean?
749
00:29:40,514 --> 00:29:41,748
TREVOR NOAH: OK, OK,
that makes sense.
750
00:29:41,848 --> 00:29:42,883
Clapping for that?
OK, cool.
751
00:29:42,983 --> 00:29:43,884
Yeah.
752
00:29:43,984 --> 00:29:45,485
[laughs] That
person's pro-people.
753
00:29:45,519 --> 00:29:46,853
I love people too!
- We love people.
754
00:29:46,954 --> 00:29:47,821
I love people.
755
00:29:47,921 --> 00:29:48,956
I like this guy.
756
00:29:49,056 --> 00:29:50,157
We love people.
757
00:29:50,257 --> 00:29:53,493
And the cool part about
people is really we're all
758
00:29:53,594 --> 00:29:54,928
the same in a way, you know?
759
00:29:55,028 --> 00:29:57,497
I'm not going to get on a
soapbox, but we really are.
760
00:29:57,531 --> 00:30:01,501
And the older I get and
the more I'm rearing a kid
761
00:30:01,568 --> 00:30:03,937
and building a
career, you go, all
762
00:30:04,037 --> 00:30:05,672
these mother-[bleep] the same.
TREVOR NOAH: [laughs]
763
00:30:05,772 --> 00:30:06,740
You know what I mean?
764
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:08,075
It's like, everybody's
hurting, you know?
765
00:30:08,175 --> 00:30:09,309
Yes.
766
00:30:09,409 --> 00:30:12,579
And there's something
about just finding purpose.
767
00:30:12,679 --> 00:30:14,247
All the homeys talk about it.
- Right.
768
00:30:14,348 --> 00:30:16,183
I mean, Muhammad Ali talked
about purpose, you know?
769
00:30:16,283 --> 00:30:17,451
Nipsey Hussle talk
about purpose.
770
00:30:17,484 --> 00:30:18,452
Right.
771
00:30:18,485 --> 00:30:19,853
You know what I mean?
772
00:30:19,953 --> 00:30:21,355
Man's Search for
Meaning, that whole book
773
00:30:21,455 --> 00:30:23,657
is about people surviving this
hard time because of purpose,
774
00:30:23,757 --> 00:30:24,858
you know?
TREVOR NOAH: Yes.
775
00:30:24,958 --> 00:30:26,460
And I feel quite fortunate
that this is my purpose.
776
00:30:26,493 --> 00:30:28,996
I look at somebody, and I go,
OK, tell me where it hurts.
777
00:30:29,096 --> 00:30:30,097
What's going on?
778
00:30:30,197 --> 00:30:31,965
I go, OK, cool, where
is that hurt on me?
779
00:30:32,065 --> 00:30:33,133
And you try to--
TREVOR NOAH: Wow.
780
00:30:33,233 --> 00:30:34,368
And you grow that way.
781
00:30:34,468 --> 00:30:36,303
You can make some really
great friends that way too.
782
00:30:36,470 --> 00:30:37,337
TREVOR NOAH: Wow.
783
00:30:37,471 --> 00:30:38,605
And you tell amazing
stories that way.
784
00:30:38,705 --> 00:30:39,706
Yeah, hopefully, that--
785
00:30:39,806 --> 00:30:41,608
Yeah, no, because it
connects to what people
786
00:30:41,708 --> 00:30:43,844
are experiencing, whether it
is the housing crisis in San
787
00:30:43,944 --> 00:30:46,980
Francisco, whether it
is people being forced
788
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:50,784
out of where they live, whether
it is civil rights in America.
789
00:30:50,884 --> 00:30:52,719
And I think you show
that in everything.
790
00:30:52,819 --> 00:30:57,357
People are so excited to see
you not just in Marvel films,
791
00:30:57,491 --> 00:31:01,228
but everyone was shocked and
amazed not just at the fact
792
00:31:01,328 --> 00:31:02,996
that you're going
to be in Creed III--
793
00:31:03,096 --> 00:31:04,197
the trailer looks amazing.
794
00:31:04,298 --> 00:31:05,198
[cheering]
795
00:31:05,299 --> 00:31:06,500
Right?
796
00:31:06,566 --> 00:31:08,602
Directed by Michael B.
Jordan, and you're going to be
797
00:31:08,702 --> 00:31:09,636
starring across from him.
798
00:31:09,736 --> 00:31:11,638
But then the images
came out of you--
799
00:31:11,738 --> 00:31:12,639
Oh, here we go.
800
00:31:12,739 --> 00:31:13,840
--on Men's Health.
801
00:31:13,941 --> 00:31:15,242
Yeah, it is definitely
here we go because I
802
00:31:15,342 --> 00:31:16,710
think we have the image here.
803
00:31:16,810 --> 00:31:23,450
[cheering]
804
00:31:24,451 --> 00:31:25,919
Why are you doing this to us?
805
00:31:26,019 --> 00:31:27,087
[laughter]
806
00:31:27,187 --> 00:31:28,755
I'm doing this for us.
807
00:31:28,855 --> 00:31:31,191
TREVOR NOAH: You realize there
are normal men out there.
808
00:31:31,291 --> 00:31:33,894
We're living our
lives, eating bread.
809
00:31:33,994 --> 00:31:35,562
And then you do--
what is your body
810
00:31:35,662 --> 00:31:37,464
fat percentage at right now?
811
00:31:37,497 --> 00:31:39,499
3.6.
812
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:40,601
3.6?
813
00:31:40,701 --> 00:31:41,602
3.6.
814
00:31:41,702 --> 00:31:43,103
I feel like
athletes are, like, 5.
815
00:31:43,203 --> 00:31:45,005
So what don't you eat?
816
00:31:45,105 --> 00:31:46,573
What do I not eat?
817
00:31:46,673 --> 00:31:47,541
TREVOR NOAH: Can you eat?
818
00:31:47,641 --> 00:31:49,076
I can't not eat.
819
00:31:49,176 --> 00:31:50,377
TREVOR NOAH:
Explain this to me.
820
00:31:50,477 --> 00:31:52,045
How is it that everybody
who gets a Marvel
821
00:31:52,145 --> 00:31:53,046
movie gets a six pack?
822
00:31:53,146 --> 00:31:54,348
What is happening there?
823
00:31:54,481 --> 00:31:55,983
Why is Disney not releasing--
824
00:31:56,083 --> 00:31:57,484
I want to know what this is.
How many hours?
825
00:31:57,584 --> 00:31:58,652
- It's an algorithm.
- What are you eating?
826
00:31:58,752 --> 00:32:00,554
Like, what is your life?
827
00:32:00,654 --> 00:32:02,489
I mean, pfft,
what is my life?
828
00:32:02,522 --> 00:32:04,591
Oh.
829
00:32:04,691 --> 00:32:06,193
So I woke up this morning.
TREVOR NOAH: No!
830
00:32:06,293 --> 00:32:07,294
I want to know
about the muscles.
831
00:32:07,394 --> 00:32:08,528
You know what I'm
talking about, man.
832
00:32:08,629 --> 00:32:09,997
I just train, man.
833
00:32:10,097 --> 00:32:11,732
I train probably two--
834
00:32:11,832 --> 00:32:15,435
I train two times a day.
835
00:32:15,502 --> 00:32:17,070
You stay away from carbs.
You know what I mean?
836
00:32:17,170 --> 00:32:18,305
TREVOR NOAH: You see?
I knew it.
837
00:32:18,438 --> 00:32:19,306
Unless you need
the carb, right?
838
00:32:19,439 --> 00:32:20,307
Because--
- I knew it.
839
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:21,275
--I have oatmeal
in the morning.
840
00:32:21,441 --> 00:32:22,309
- OK.
- That's a carb.
841
00:32:22,442 --> 00:32:23,543
And the fun carbs.
842
00:32:23,644 --> 00:32:24,511
You can put some--
843
00:32:24,611 --> 00:32:25,712
You know what I mean?
844
00:32:25,812 --> 00:32:27,447
Well, like what?
Like pizza?
845
00:32:27,481 --> 00:32:28,548
TREVOR NOAH: Saying, like,
oats is carbs is like someone
846
00:32:28,649 --> 00:32:29,549
saying, you want
to come to a party?
847
00:32:29,650 --> 00:32:30,617
And you're like, yeah.
848
00:32:30,717 --> 00:32:31,785
And they're like, it's
a political party.
849
00:32:31,885 --> 00:32:32,786
Aw.
- OK.
850
00:32:32,886 --> 00:32:33,787
[laughs]
851
00:32:33,887 --> 00:32:35,055
That's-- oats are
the cause of that.
852
00:32:35,155 --> 00:32:36,056
OK, OK.
853
00:32:36,156 --> 00:32:37,057
I see the game you play.
854
00:32:37,157 --> 00:32:38,158
OK, OK, OK, OK.
855
00:32:38,258 --> 00:32:39,459
I was hoping there
was, like, a hack.
856
00:32:39,559 --> 00:32:41,361
I thought there was a hack.
- Well, I'll tell you--
857
00:32:41,461 --> 00:32:42,362
I thought there was a
trick that you'd tell me.
858
00:32:42,462 --> 00:32:43,630
--something about this.
859
00:32:43,730 --> 00:32:44,898
Yeah.
860
00:32:44,998 --> 00:32:50,070
I ate Shake Shack
the day before.
861
00:32:50,170 --> 00:32:51,672
That's a secret.
- You see?
862
00:32:51,772 --> 00:32:53,106
Now this is something I can do.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
863
00:32:53,206 --> 00:32:54,207
[laughs]
864
00:32:54,308 --> 00:32:55,609
I want to incorporate
this into my life.
865
00:32:55,709 --> 00:32:56,810
Yeah, yeah.
866
00:32:56,910 --> 00:32:58,478
Once you've deaden yourself
to a certain point--
867
00:32:58,578 --> 00:32:59,680
Oh, no.
868
00:32:59,780 --> 00:33:01,615
I just want to eat Shake
Shack the day before, man!
869
00:33:01,715 --> 00:33:02,983
I want to eat Shake
Shack the day before.
870
00:33:03,083 --> 00:33:05,185
Before I let you go, I
remember the first time
871
00:33:05,285 --> 00:33:06,753
I saw you on the screen.
872
00:33:06,853 --> 00:33:08,188
And I was like, this guy--
873
00:33:08,288 --> 00:33:12,092
I don't know how he's doing
it, how he's making it so-- you
874
00:33:12,192 --> 00:33:13,327
sucked me into your world.
875
00:33:13,427 --> 00:33:14,895
I promise you, you
just-- everyone
876
00:33:14,995 --> 00:33:16,563
knows that you're
going to be the biggest
877
00:33:16,663 --> 00:33:18,231
star anyone has ever seen.
878
00:33:18,332 --> 00:33:21,068
And everyone's going to
be giving you the flowers.
879
00:33:21,168 --> 00:33:22,336
Thank you for being here.
880
00:33:22,436 --> 00:33:23,971
Thank you for joining
me on the show.
881
00:33:24,071 --> 00:33:25,772
Thank you for creating
what you create.
882
00:33:25,872 --> 00:33:27,107
Congratulations on everything.
883
00:33:27,207 --> 00:33:28,108
Thank you.
884
00:33:28,208 --> 00:33:30,310
Jonathan Majors, everybody.
885
00:33:30,444 --> 00:33:31,445
We're going to
take a quick break.
886
00:33:31,511 --> 00:33:33,447
But we'll be right
back after this.
887
00:33:33,513 --> 00:33:35,649
For real, man, I mean it.
888
00:33:35,749 --> 00:33:39,453
[cheering]
889
00:33:41,423 --> 00:33:45,727
[cheering]
890
00:33:45,828 --> 00:33:46,962
Well, that's our
show for tomorrow.
891
00:33:47,062 --> 00:33:48,263
Thank you so much
for tuning in.
892
00:33:48,363 --> 00:33:50,699
Before we go-- before we go,
I just want to remind you,
893
00:33:50,799 --> 00:33:52,801
please, consider donating
to Forgotten Harvest.
894
00:33:52,901 --> 00:33:55,637
They collect food surpluses
from grocery stores, markets,
895
00:33:55,737 --> 00:33:56,705
restaurants, and caterers.
896
00:33:56,805 --> 00:33:58,340
And they deliver
it free of charge
897
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:01,777
to emergency food providers
in the Metro Detroit area.
898
00:34:01,877 --> 00:34:03,145
So if you can support
them in their work,
899
00:34:03,245 --> 00:34:04,646
then please donate
at the link below.
900
00:34:04,746 --> 00:34:06,482
Until next time,
stay safe out there.
901
00:34:06,582 --> 00:34:09,184
And, remember, before you
complain about how hard
902
00:34:09,284 --> 00:34:11,854
your life is, remember
that some people are
903
00:34:11,954 --> 00:34:13,622
forced to own a country club.
904
00:34:13,722 --> 00:34:15,924
Now here it is,
your Moment of Zen.
905
00:34:16,024 --> 00:34:17,159
REPORTER: (SINGING)
I knew you were
906
00:34:17,259 --> 00:34:19,328
in trouble when you logged in.
907
00:34:19,428 --> 00:34:23,065
Why Ticketmaster
has them seeing red.
908
00:34:23,165 --> 00:34:25,934
There may be some bad
blood among Taylor Swift
909
00:34:26,034 --> 00:34:27,202
fans tonight.
910
00:34:27,302 --> 00:34:30,873
Instead of tickets for her
highly-anticipated tour,
911
00:34:30,973 --> 00:34:33,442
they're looking at blank space.
912
00:34:33,542 --> 00:34:36,778
For those who couldn't get
tickets for her upcoming stops
913
00:34:36,879 --> 00:34:40,315
here in Philly, well, you may
just have to shake it off.
914
00:34:40,415 --> 00:34:41,650
- Shake it off.
- Shake it off.
915
00:34:41,750 --> 00:34:42,651
You shake it off.
916
00:34:42,751 --> 00:34:44,419
You just got to shake it off.
917
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:45,888
Shake it off.
Shake it off.
918
00:34:46,021 --> 00:34:47,756
You got to shake it
off, Taylor Swift fans.
919
00:34:47,856 --> 00:34:50,359
See, I know that song.