Coming to you from New York City,
the only city in America, it's The Daily Show!
Tonight, Trump is back in the race.
How we got Black Friday.
And Jonathan Majors.
This is The Daily Show with Trevor Noah.
[applause]
[cheering]
What's going on everybody?
Welcome to The Daily Show.
I'm Trevor Noah, thank you so much for tuning in
and thank you for coming out in person.
Thank you for being here, everybody.
We've got a great show for you tonight.
Take a seat, let's get into it.
Take a seat.
We're going to find out why Beyonce
and Jay-Z might have beef.
We'll see where Black Friday came from.
And if you loved the Trump administration, then
oh boy, have I got some great news for you.
So, let's do this people, let's jump
straight into today's headlines.
All right, before we get into the big stories,
let's catch up on a few other things going on in the world,
starting with the Grammy Awards.
Yesterday, the full list of nominations was announced
and Beyonce is leading the pack with nine nominations, which
amazingly, which amazingly, ties her
with her husband Jay-Z for the all time record
of 83 nominations.
Yeah, yeah, makes your hashtag marriage goals look like shit.
Oh, and congratulations to Amanda Gorman,
the poet who got her first nomination
for Best Spoken Word Album.
That's pretty amazing.
Congratulations to her.
And to Joe Biden, who got a nomination for best
we think those words album?
Well done, sir, well done.
In tech news.
Elon Musk is continuing his makeover of Twitter
by telling employees that from now
on, the work environment will be quote,
"extremely hard core."
Yeah, and they should prepare themselves.
But if anyone insults him, he'll call his mommy
and fire them.
That's not hard core, it's just mean.
And by the way, I don't know if he afford
to fire any more employees.
He's already fired half of the company.
Pretty soon Elon Musk is going to be the only one
working at Twitter.
We're going to be sitting there like, why haven't my tweets
updated for like 20 minutes?
And Elon will be like, sorry, I was taking a shit,
it was so hard core.
All right, where was I?
Oh, in international news, NATO has announced
that the stray missiles that hit Poland yesterday
were not fired by Russia after all as was reported.
Yeah, they were actually Ukrainian missiles
being launched against Russian attackers.
So the good news, is that NATO doesn't have
to go to war against Russia.
The bad news is, it now has to go against Ukraine.
Yeah, rules are rules.
The rules are rules.
I'm just glad it wasn't what we thought it was.
And Poland is like, we still got bombed!
All right, let's move on to the big story of the day.
As you know, America's midterm election
was just one week ago.
The votes in many districts are still being counted.
The runoff for Georgia's Senate seat
is still three weeks away.
And Wolf Blitzer is still waking up
in the middle of the night shouting, key race alert!
Key race alert!
My point is, the 2022 midterms are not over,
which means now is the perfect time to start
covering the 2024 election.
[triumphant music]
There have been so many times over the last two years
when people have said that Donald Jobless
Trump was finished for sure.
They said he was finished when he
lost to an ancient artifact.
They said he was finished when he
was impeached for throwing a house
party without his parents' permission.
When he got his hand stuck under the fridge
trying to get a Cadbury Creme Egg
that rolled underneath there.
Just let go of the egg, Donald.
One thing people don't realize is, Donald Trump
doesn't care what anyone else thinks
about his political future.
And you saw that last night, because he swapped out
the buffet table at Mar-a-Lago for American flags
and made a big announcement.
On stage at his South Florida estate,
Donald Trump announcing the White House
run he's hinted at ever since his 2020 election defeat.
In order to make America great and glorious again,
I am tonight announcing my candidacy for president
of the United States.
The former President, impeached twice, including
for his role in the January 6 insurrection,
placing himself at the head of a movement
to take power back for his supporters.
This is our country, our government.
Now at the center of multiple investigations,
Mr. Trump said a weaponized justice system is
the greatest threat to the US.
We must conduct a top to bottom overhaul
to clean out the festering rot and corruption
of Washington, DC.
And I'm a victim, I will tell you, I'm a victim.
That's right, folks, I'm the biggest victim of all.
Every time I do something illegal, they come after me.
I've done 30 illegal things.
They've come after me at least 20 times.
It's so unfair, so unfair.
As ridiculous as this is, I'm actually glad
he's being honest about why he's running.
He's running for the same reason every shirtless guy
on cops runs.
The po-po is chasing him, he said it.
But this is what Trump does.
He's always the victim.
The poor billionaire who only owns 15 golf courses
and got to run the world's most powerful
country for four years.
Oh, woe is me, oh.
If Trump was a prince in a fairy tale,
the movie would suck and the princess
would never get saved.
You know?
The dwarves would be like, please, we
need you to save Snow White.
And he's like, who's going to save me?
Do you know how many stairs are in my castle?
I'm so tired.
Do you know how hard it is to pick from the lavish banquet
my servers prepare for me?
You'd be like, but she's poisoned to eternal sleep.
He'd be like, I wish I could sleep.
You know how hard it is to get comfortable in a bed of coins?
So hard.
But that's right, Trump is getting
the old team back together for one more
run at the White House.
And of course, I say that metaphorically, since most
of the old team is in jail.
The point is though, he's officially in the race.
And you have to admit, this is an interesting way to kick off
your presidential campaign.
Vote for me, I'm a whiny, pissed baby.
Because that's what most of his speech was about.
And apparently, he's not the only victim.
No, according to the Donald, running
America into the ground was also very hard on his family.
And it hasn't been a joy ride for our great First
Lady either.
I go home and she says, you look angry and upset.
I say, just leave me alone, I got it.
Hasn't been the easiest thing.
In fact, my one boy, stand up, Eric, I
think he got more subpoenas than any man
in the history of our country.
So unfair.
Al Capone, you all heard of the great gangster.
Al Capone got far less.
Billy the Kid got almost none.
Jesse James, no.
Eric Trump got more subpoenas.
He's a PhD in subpoenas.
They come from Congress, they.
Yeah, that's right.
No one suffered more from the Trump presidency
than the Trump family.
While the rest of you were living it up in your border
cages and enjoying an endless buffet of COVID,
Eric Trump was being asked to answer some questions.
What a hard life.
And look, to be fair, I will admit that Eric has gotten
more subpoenas than gunslingers like Billy
the Kid and Jesse James.
And those guys in the Wild West,
oh, they got a lot of subpoenas.
We've all seen the movies.
I have papers for Mr. Ugly.
Is Mr. Ugly here?
You know what?
You guys look busy.
I'll come back later, yeah?
And by the way, by the way, that story that he told,
that Trump told about him and Melania,
was anyone else as surprised as I
was to hear it was Trump telling
Melania to leave him alone?
Yeah, Melania was probably like, oh no,
anything but that, oh.
I'll give you some space.
How about forever?
Now you might be thinking this speech probably sucked, right?
Because you're not a fan of Donald Trump.
But it turns out, even the people
who were there to see him didn't exactly want to stay.
Trump displayed a fraction of his 2016 energy.
The speech ran twice as long as scheduled
and for long stretches, left his crowd restless and silent.
This was teleprompter Trump.
Low energy, very, very unusual.
He started to get bored and started to ad lib,
and it just turned into a rambling mess in my opinion.
Candidly, he was quite subdued, low energy.
I thought this speech tonight was lame.
I thought the crowd was lame.
Reporters inside the ballroom at Mar-a-Lago noticed
a handful of Trump supporters attempting
to leave before Trump was done speaking,
but security won't let them.
[laughs]
Oh, damn!
Say what you will about Trump, but the man takes
his border security seriously.
Nobody's getting out.
We're going to build a wall, build a wall, keep them in.
But for real though, you know a club is shitty when you need
a bouncer to keep people in.
That's when you know things are not going well.
And I actually feel bad for the crowd.
They were probably scared as hell.
They're like, oh no, we're trapped in here,
Trump has us locked up.
He's locked us up.
And you know.
[applause]
And you know, Trump aside, I will say,
I will say it is a little strange.
I'll be honest, I think it is a little strange
that so many people in the news media
were fixated on how boring the speech was.
Like, who cares?
For years they were like, this is not normal!
And now they're like, this is too normal!
Say something about the Mexicans.
We need ratings, Donald.
Now, despite Trump's triumphant return, the word on the street
is that he might not have the support that he needs to win.
Yeah, apparently, Republican elites are clamoring
for Ron DeSantis, all right.
Major Republican donors have announced that they
won't back Trump this time.
Even Ivanka released a statement
saying she doesn't want to be a part of the campaign.
Instead, she wants to focus on her family.
Which, of course, I understand.
I mean, she's got that adorable little boy at home.
And I think she has kids, you know.
So yeah, a lot of major players in the Republican world
are not thrilled that Donald Trump is running again.
Although apparently, many Democrats are happy.
Yeah, including people like Bernie Sanders, who said
Trump running may be a horror show for the country,
but "I got to say that as a politician who wants to see
that no Republican is elected to the White House
in 2024, from that perspective, his candidacy
is probably a good thing."
And yeah, you know, Bernie is probably right.
Democrats should be praying for Donald Trump
to win the nomination so that they can easily crush
him in the general election.
Yeah, that kind of thinking has never horribly backfired.
Just ask President Hillary Clinton.
What could go wrong?
But for real, people, are we really going to do this again?
Are we going to do everything the same?
The Democrats are going to hope to face Trump.
The media is going to write him off
because Republicans don't support him,
forgetting that Republicans didn't
support him the first time?
Then he got on stage, roasted Chris Christie,
slapped Jeb Bush so hard his whole family felt it.
And then all of a sudden, the whole Republican Party
was like, you are our king now.
And Ted Cruz's wife is ugly.
And before you say oh, but this time is different,
we beat him already.
Yeah, remember that he only lost to Joe Biden
by 44,000 votes.
And that was during a pandemic, where Trump told everyone
to bleach their lungs.
He's probably not going to do that again, probably.
And you're probably like, yeah, but this year, all of Trump's
MAGA election deniers lost.
Yeah, but they lost by like 1%, 1%.
Those are not [bleep] and find out margins, people.
Those are the kind of margins with anything
is a little bit different next time,
Trump could win those states.
Gas prices could be higher.
The economy could be worse.
Joe Biden could keep getting older.
Anything is possible.
But no, I guess everyone's going to act
out the same roles as 2016.
The Democrats are going to hope he wins.
Republicans aren't going to stand
up to him until it's too late.
And the news will give him live coverage for every single word
that he utters.
I just pooped again.
Breaking news!
But I'll tell you what, if we're
all going to do the same things again, just let me know now.
Because this time I'll be prepared.
I'll go visit all the shithole countries
before the borders are closed.
I'll invest in Tiki torches, and best believe,
I'm going to stock up on a shit ton of toilet paper,
because I'm not using my socks again, you hear me?
That is not happening again.
All right, that's it for the headlines.
But before we go, let's check in
on the traffic with our very own Roy Wood Jr., everybody!
[applause] [cheering]
What's happening, man?
What is happening, Roy?
What is happening in the traffic?
What do you mean what's happening in the traffic?
Why do you want me to turn around
and tell you to traffic? You facing the wall.
You tell me what's happening with the traffic.
Why is it so hard for you to tell me what's happening?
Just tell me what's happening in the traffic.
Not focused on the traffic right now.
I'm more focused on you telling us to take Trump serious.
Like, Trump don't take Trump serious.
What?
Trump don't take himself serious.
Bro, he announced it from the crib.
He announced, he ran for president,
he was upstairs in his drawers and it
was like, let me go downstairs real quick
and do this president thing.
He didn't even change his slogan.
He's just doing this to get rid of all the old MAGA
merch from last time, man.
Wait, what?
Hell, if he sell it all, he might drop out.
I bought three boxes of MAGA hats for democracy.
Plus, the other thing with this man, Trump deep down,
Trump know he can't beat DeSantis.
He be, look at DeSantis, look at that man, look at that man.
Them some bad bitch boots right there!
Trump could never.
Trump can't beat that man.
He got all the vote.
He got the conservative vote up top,
he got the gay vote down low.
He iron-clad.
Look, DeSantis looks so good in them boots,
Trump might try to grab him by the pussy.
Those are nice boots.
OK, you know what?
Let's just get, let's just get to the traffic, Roy.
Let's get to the traffic.
Here's a thing about Elon Musk.
Can we talk, can we talk about Elon Musk for a second?
I mean, I guess.
We're supposed to do traffic, but yeah.
Talking crazy to people in the emails.
Every day Elon doing something.
Send out that email telling all their employees to step it up.
Also, sidebar, if I worked at Twitter,
I just wouldn't open my emails.
Stop opening your email if you work at Twitter.
It's like divorce.
You got to hand me the papers.
You can't fire me if I don't open my email.
Elon been slinging them emails for two weeks, man,
and it ain't been no good news or nothing.
It ain't like you work at Twitter,
open your email, good news, everybody,
strippers in the break room.
Like, all right, thank you, Elon.
The email was wile.
Did you read the email that he sent out?
I read the emails. I read them, they were insane.
He had this whole thing.
He was like from now on we're going to be extremely
hard core, working long hours.
It was like high intensity.
Oh, and then he said like and only
exceptional performance will constitute a passing grade.
If you don't want to be part of the new Twitter,
then you can get out!
It's sounded crazy, to be honest.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, well, crazy for a CEO.
What do you mean?
Not that, like, it's crazy if a CEO said that.
That was Elon's mistake.
You want to talk to people like that, fine.
But you can't call yourself a CEO.
You want to talk to people crazy,
you got to call yourself a head coach.
Why?
Nobody, nobody is more verbally
abusive to their employees than a head coach.
You ever played a sport?
You ever had your coach always talking crazy, I want blood,
I want pain, water makes you weak, you can't have no water!
If Elon wants to keep from getting in trouble,
run Twitter like a head coach.
First off, stop emailing everybody.
Call a huddle, bring all your employees in,
because everything in that Elon email,
if everything Elon said in that email,
if he said it in a locker room, it don't sound as bad.
Like Elon could be a Twitter coach.
He just has hit little coaching and bring it in, bring it in.
Bring it in, Twitter team.
Bring it in.
OK, Twitter team, Twitter team.
We're in a competitive world.
We need to be hard core, long hours, high intensity,
only exceptional performance will
constitute a passing grade.
Engineers, I need you to drive us,
we are a software and services company!
If you are sure that you want to be a part of team Twitter,
then please click yes on the link below in the email.
And you make sure that they remember forever the night
they played the Titans!
Give me a blue check on 3!
1,2, 3 blue check!
Put it up!
Roy Wood Jr., everybody.
I'm inspired.
I want to be an engineer.
All right, don't go away, because after the break,
Desi Lydic is going to expose the truth about Black Friday.
We'll be right back.
I want to join.
You want the traffic?
I'm in the blue cap.
[cheering]
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
Next Thursday night, America celebrates
the holiday that defines it as a nation, Black Friday.
But where did Black Friday come from?
Well, to find out, we turn to Desi Lydic in another episode
of Why Do We Celebrate This?
Hey, get back.
This one's mine.
You all ready to die for this flat screen?
Because I am.
[music playing]
Hello, my shopaholics, Maxxinista, mall rats,
coupon clippers, bargain bitches, capitalism warriors,
and sale sluts.
It's the holidays, and that means one thing, family.
No, I'm kidding.
That means shopping.
Family?
What the [bleep]?
Like many of you, I, too, will be going out
on Black Friday, one of America's most
treasured excuses to buy shit.
And Black Friday seems like something
that's been around forever.
I mean, I can't remember a time when
Black Friday didn't exist.
Then again, my memory is a little
fuzzy from all the head trauma from previous Black Fridays.
The history of Black Friday is actually quite interesting.
It started in the 1920s, when retail stores
wanted to set a clear beginning to the Christmas
shopping season.
So department stores like Macy's created grand parades
to signal to Americans it's time to start spending cash.
Although back then, parade balloons weren't
as cute as the ones today.
You know, classics like Puff the meth-fueled dragon,
whimsical drifter murderer, and thick daddy Superman.
Maybe they were hoping to scare people
to run inside the stores.
I don't know.
The point is retailers depended on a big Christmas shopping
season and were willing to do whatever it took to make
it as long as possible.
In fact, during the Great Depression,
they even lobbied President Franklin Roosevelt
to move Thanksgiving a week earlier to allow
for more Christmas shopping.
And after his cousin finished giving him a handjob,
FDR agreed.
Eventually, they moved Thanksgiving back,
but the retailers got what they wanted.
Because over the next few decades,
more and more people began their Christmas shopping
the day after Thanksgiving.
But the first time the day was called Black Friday
was in the 1960s.
It was actually coined by the Philadelphia Police Department
because the day brought tons of traffic and chaos.
And for shopping to cause chaos in Philadelphia,
it has to really be chaos.
I once set fire to a mannequin at a Zara in Philadelphia,
and they didn't even kick me out of the store.
They just threw it in the burnt mannequin pile.
Sorry.
[chuckles]
It was in the 1980s that Black Friday
finally went nationwide.
And it was all thanks to America's obsession
with the adorable little vegetable
human monster hybrids known as the Cabbage Patch Kids.
I got this one for $3,000, and I
had to get punched by a lot of grandmas to get it.
But it was worth it.
The toys were in such high demand
that it caused literal riots across America.
People fought their neighbors tooth and nail
to pay for some lettuce-shaped plastic.
But all the violence was worth it for that precious Christmas
morning when their kids would open the box,
see the Cabbage Patch Kid, and then play with the box.
The Cabbage Patch Kids set the standard
for all sorts of Black Friday crazes
throughout the '90s from Furbys to Beanie Babies to Tickle Me
Elmos to countless other toys bought
by newly-divorced dads trying to buy their way
into their kids' hearts.
By 2002, nearly 3/4 of all shoppers
were in stores over Black Friday weekend.
It was paradise for people looking for deals,
and robbers looking for unguarded homes.
Black Friday was so successful that stores started pushing
the start time back from Friday morning to Friday at midnight,
and then all the way back to Thanksgiving night itself.
They called the new holiday Gray Thursday as a tribute
to the moral gray area of abandoning
your family on Thanksgiving to choke out
a stranger for an Instapot.
[ding]
Oh, it's ready.
And throughout this time, Black Friday doorbuster sales
became more dangerous as consumers
turned every big box store into a big octagon arena.
It got so bad that in 2011, you were statistically more
likely to be injured in a Black Friday sale
than from a shark attack.
Unless that shark is also at the Black Friday sale,
and then it depends on whoever wants that blender more.
Got it!
Yes.
But, sadly, the good times and horrific injuries
couldn't last forever.
With the dawn of online shopping,
Black Friday became less relevant
than the newer, shinier, two-day-Primier holiday
that took its place.
Along came Cyber Monday, an easier way to score deals
while avoiding the mobs at in-person stores.
It's just another way technology
has pulled us further apart.
I mean, sure, it's more convenient,
but think of what we lose when we
no longer have that one-on-one, airfryer-to-skull contact.
Sad.
Also, in recent years, retail employees
have begun pushing back on so-called holiday creep, which
is a term for stores expanding their holiday shopping
periods into Thanksgiving, not what happens when
your weird cousin hits the eggnog too hard
and tries to go FDR on your underparts.
But even as its golden days are behind it,
Black Friday is still an American institution,
standing tall beside Thanksgiving and the Super
Bowl and the Purge.
And now that you know its history,
don't forget to keep it in perspective.
Sure, saving money is great, but this season
isn't about fighting some stranger at a store.
It's about gathering your family and fighting with them.
So happy shopping season.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I got to start
practicing for the big day.
Hey, step away from that Dyson!
You think I won't pull out this pin?
Well, guess what.
Tick tock, mother--
[music playing]
Thank you so much for that, Desi.
All right, stay tuned, because when we come back,
Jonathan Majors will be joining me right here on the show.
You don't want to miss it.
[cheering]
Welcome back to The Daily Show.
My guest tonight is an Emmy-nominated actor
who plays the first Black aviator in Navy history
in the new film Devotion, which will be exclusively
in theaters November 23.
Jessie, stand down.
That's an order.
[gunfire]
[explosion]
That's a direct hit.
Bridge is down.
PILOT: That a boy, Jesse!
Here we go, Ace.
Please, welcome Jonathan Majors.
[cheering]
[music playing]
Oh, you got me flowers?
Welcome.
Welcome to the show.
Thank you, Trevor.
This is-- am I holding these for you?
Am I--
No, no, no, no.
Those are for you.
TREVOR NOAH: These are for me?
I think I heard you got two weeks left maybe.
[laughter]
And so you brought me my flowers.
From the culture.
Oh, man, this is--
Those are your flowers, B. And those are--
I heard those are South African.
Yeah, this is beautiful. JONATHAN MAJORS: Yeah.
TREVOR NOAH: This is amazing. JONATHAN MAJORS: Yeah.
Well, no one else has brought me flowers, man.
[crowd awwing]
[applause]
This is-- wow.
Well, I had questions to grill you on.
But now I'm--
We'll take it easy.
Now we'll just take it easy now.
[laughs] No, but welcome. Welcome to the show.
What's up, bro?
It is an absolute pleasure to have you here.
I mean, obviously, for the new movie,
but for everything that you've been doing.
You know, you hopped onto many people's screens
for the first time, Last Black Man
in San Francisco, amazing film that I
think everybody should watch.
The way you carry a character, then, obviously,
Lovecraft Country, which you got your Emmy nomination for.
Congratulations on that.
[cheering]
You know?
And now in this film, it's amazing to be playing
a character that more people should know about because
of what they represented.
But to be playing the first Black pilot in the Navy,
many people talk about how Black service members were
fighting a war on two fronts.
JONATHAN MAJORS: That's right.
They weren't just fighting against wars
happening outside America.
They were fighting against what was happening inside America.
And you portray it in this film.
Talk me through the whys.
I know you're very intentional about why.
Why this movie, and why this character?
Wow.
Well, I play a supervillain.
And I thought this was an opportunity to play a hero.
TREVOR NOAH: I love that.
When I-- so I'm from Texas, Dallas, Texas.
Came up-- came up a certain way.
Jessie Brown is from Mississippi--
Right.
--and was the son of a sharecropper.
And somehow he made his way from those sharecropping
fields to the sky and became not
just a Black Naval aviator, but the best Black Naval aviator.
And I thought, OK, we've got stories about King and Rosa
Parks and Harriet Tubman.
And we don't have a story about this guy.
And this is his handshake.
This is the first time they're going
to say, OK, this is Jesse.
This is Jesse, you know?
TREVOR NOAH: Wow.
And I wanted to be responsible for that.
And I also wanted to fly some planes.
So--
What did you garner from that experience that helped
you in telling the story?
Well, it was access.
I mean, that was the whole thing.
That's Jesse's thing, access.
It's quite poetic.
It's a metaphor in a way.
If you can touch the sky in your life, in that way,
you can pretty much do anything.
You know what I mean? TREVOR NOAH: You truly can.
You truly can.
[applause]
What I love noticing is how many times the parallels will
be drawn between characters that great actors are playing
and the lives that they themselves are living.
I think you're no different.
You know, you're ascending at a rate
that everybody is enjoying.
You truly are.
You're flying from-- from indie films to a show that
was beloved on HBO, and then now, as you said,
you're going to be in a Marvel movie
and Marvel movies plural.
[cheering]
It's the opposite end of the spectrum.
It's so big.
How do you hold onto the small that you love in acting?
Because I know that about you.
You love the minute.
But at the same time, we saw you when you were in Loki.
That was one of the best surprises.
You made a pretty kickass villain.
Yeah, you blow it up.
You blow it up.
I mean, I just--
I love acting. For me--
TREVOR NOAH: Right. It shows.
Thank you, bro.
For me, it's my way of of healing.
I mean, you see a character.
You go, OK, it's like getting to know somebody.
You go, OK, cool.
And though I am pretty antisocial--
Yeah.
--I do love people.
You know what I mean?
TREVOR NOAH: OK, OK, that makes sense.
Clapping for that? OK, cool.
Yeah.
[laughs] That person's pro-people.
I love people too! - We love people.
I love people.
I like this guy.
We love people.
And the cool part about people is really we're all
the same in a way, you know?
I'm not going to get on a soapbox, but we really are.
And the older I get and the more I'm rearing a kid
and building a career, you go, all
these mother-[bleep] the same. TREVOR NOAH: [laughs]
You know what I mean?
It's like, everybody's hurting, you know?
Yes.
And there's something about just finding purpose.
All the homeys talk about it. - Right.
I mean, Muhammad Ali talked about purpose, you know?
Nipsey Hussle talk about purpose.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Man's Search for Meaning, that whole book
is about people surviving this hard time because of purpose,
you know? TREVOR NOAH: Yes.
And I feel quite fortunate that this is my purpose.
I look at somebody, and I go, OK, tell me where it hurts.
What's going on?
I go, OK, cool, where is that hurt on me?
And you try to-- TREVOR NOAH: Wow.
And you grow that way.
You can make some really great friends that way too.
TREVOR NOAH: Wow.
And you tell amazing stories that way.
Yeah, hopefully, that--
Yeah, no, because it connects to what people
are experiencing, whether it is the housing crisis in San
Francisco, whether it is people being forced
out of where they live, whether it is civil rights in America.
And I think you show that in everything.
People are so excited to see you not just in Marvel films,
but everyone was shocked and amazed not just at the fact
that you're going to be in Creed III--
the trailer looks amazing.
[cheering]
Right?
Directed by Michael B. Jordan, and you're going to be
starring across from him.
But then the images came out of you--
Oh, here we go.
--on Men's Health.
Yeah, it is definitely here we go because I
think we have the image here.
[cheering]
Why are you doing this to us?
[laughter]
I'm doing this for us.
TREVOR NOAH: You realize there are normal men out there.
We're living our lives, eating bread.
And then you do-- what is your body
fat percentage at right now?
3.6.
3.6?
3.6.
I feel like athletes are, like, 5.
So what don't you eat?
What do I not eat?
TREVOR NOAH: Can you eat?
I can't not eat.
TREVOR NOAH: Explain this to me.
How is it that everybody who gets a Marvel
movie gets a six pack?
What is happening there?
Why is Disney not releasing--
I want to know what this is. How many hours?
- It's an algorithm. - What are you eating?
Like, what is your life?
I mean, pfft, what is my life?
Oh.
So I woke up this morning. TREVOR NOAH: No!
I want to know about the muscles.
You know what I'm talking about, man.
I just train, man.
I train probably two--
I train two times a day.
You stay away from carbs. You know what I mean?
TREVOR NOAH: You see? I knew it.
Unless you need the carb, right?
Because-- - I knew it.
--I have oatmeal in the morning.
- OK. - That's a carb.
And the fun carbs.
You can put some--
You know what I mean?
Well, like what? Like pizza?
TREVOR NOAH: Saying, like, oats is carbs is like someone
saying, you want to come to a party?
And you're like, yeah.
And they're like, it's a political party.
Aw. - OK.
[laughs]
That's-- oats are the cause of that.
OK, OK.
I see the game you play.
OK, OK, OK, OK.
I was hoping there was, like, a hack.
I thought there was a hack. - Well, I'll tell you--
I thought there was a trick that you'd tell me.
--something about this.
Yeah.
I ate Shake Shack the day before.
That's a secret. - You see?
Now this is something I can do. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[laughs]
I want to incorporate this into my life.
Yeah, yeah.
Once you've deaden yourself to a certain point--
Oh, no.
I just want to eat Shake Shack the day before, man!
I want to eat Shake Shack the day before.
Before I let you go, I remember the first time
I saw you on the screen.
And I was like, this guy--
I don't know how he's doing it, how he's making it so-- you
sucked me into your world.
I promise you, you just-- everyone
knows that you're going to be the biggest
star anyone has ever seen.
And everyone's going to be giving you the flowers.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for joining me on the show.
Thank you for creating what you create.
Congratulations on everything.
Thank you.
Jonathan Majors, everybody.
We're going to take a quick break.
But we'll be right back after this.
For real, man, I mean it.
[cheering]
Well, that's our show for tomorrow.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
Before we go-- before we go, I just want to remind you,
please, consider donating to Forgotten Harvest.
They collect food surpluses from grocery stores, markets,
restaurants, and caterers.
And they deliver it free of charge
to emergency food providers in the Metro Detroit area.
So if you can support them in their work,
then please donate at the link below.
Until next time, stay safe out there.
And, remember, before you complain about how hard
your life is, remember that some people are
forced to own a country club.
Now here it is, your Moment of Zen.
REPORTER: (SINGING) I knew you were
in trouble when you logged in.
Why Ticketmaster has them seeing red.
There may be some bad blood among Taylor Swift
fans tonight.
Instead of tickets for her highly-anticipated tour,
they're looking at blank space.
For those who couldn't get tickets for her upcoming stops
here in Philly, well, you may just have to shake it off.
- Shake it off. - Shake it off.
You shake it off.
You just got to shake it off.
Shake it off. Shake it off.
You got to shake it off, Taylor Swift fans.
See, I know that song.