1 00:00:01,701 --> 00:00:04,269 - LAST TIME, ON "EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND"... 2 00:00:04,271 --> 00:00:05,671 - NO, KNOCK-KNOCK JOKES RIGHT NOW. 3 00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,106 WE'RE GOING UPSTAIRS. 4 00:00:07,108 --> 00:00:09,074 - GEOFFREY, SAY, "ORANGE." 5 00:00:09,076 --> 00:00:10,509 - MARIE, PLEASE STOP. 6 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,711 WE ARE NOT TELLING KNOCK-KNOCK JOKES RIGHT NOW. 7 00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:15,314 WE ARE GOING UPSTAIRS FOR OUR BATHS, ALL RIGHT? 8 00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:16,348 THANK YOU. 9 00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:17,349 LET'S GO. 10 00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:18,484 LET'S GO. 11 00:00:22,422 --> 00:00:24,556 - WELL. 12 00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:26,125 - YOUR MOTHER IS ACTING LIKE A CHILD, 13 00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:27,559 GIVING ME THE SILENT TREATMENT. 14 00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:29,628 DO YOU REALIZE HOW PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE THAT IS? 15 00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:32,398 - FIRST OF ALL, I'M SORRY I CAME OVER WHEN I DID. 16 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,566 I SHOULD KNOW BY NOW, BY LATE AFTERNOON, 17 00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:37,770 YOU'VE LOST COMPLETE CONTROL OF THE KIDS. 18 00:00:41,641 --> 00:00:43,742 - SO... 19 00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:45,644 SHE'S TALKING TO YOU AGAIN. 20 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,516 - WELL, SHE CAN DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS, 21 00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:53,052 BECAUSE I'M DONE TALKING TO HER. 22 00:00:55,655 --> 00:00:58,223 - NOW, I KNOW WHEN WE'RE ANGRY AND HURT, 23 00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:01,427 WE CAN ONLY SEE THE NEGATIVE IN THE OTHER PERSON. 24 00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:04,663 BUT YOU TWO PEOPLE KNOW, DEEP DOWN, 25 00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,598 HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT EACH OTHER, 26 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:11,403 HOW YOU CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER, AND HOW MUCH-- 27 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:14,306 HOW MUCH YOU LOVE EACH OTHER. 28 00:01:24,684 --> 00:01:26,652 - A GOOD FASTBALL WITH SOME MOVEMENT ON IT. 29 00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:28,720 DOWN GOES JOHNSON. 30 00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:30,622 - FRANK, IF YOU'RE GONNA HAVE CEREAL, 31 00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:32,491 YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE THE MILK SITTING OUT. 32 00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:34,460 HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU THAT? 33 00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:35,527 - 1,000. 34 00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:37,729 MIGHT AS WELL JUST GIVE IT UP. 35 00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:42,134 - LOOK AT THIS PLACE. 36 00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:43,702 IT'S A PIGSTY. 37 00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:46,105 YOU'RE LIKE SOME KIND OF AN ANIMAL. 38 00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:47,806 - A PIG? 39 00:01:49,142 --> 00:01:52,344 - JUST WATCH YOURSELF, MISTER. 40 00:01:55,715 --> 00:01:57,716 - I TELL YA, THIS THING WITH DEBRA 41 00:01:57,718 --> 00:01:59,218 HAS GOT HER NUTTIER THAN EVER. 42 00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:00,819 THEY SHOULD JUST LACE UP THE GLOVES 43 00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:04,523 AND GO AT IT IN THE BACKYARD. 44 00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:06,859 - COME ON; THOSE TWO ARE GOIN' THROUGH A TOUGH TIME. 45 00:02:06,861 --> 00:02:09,828 ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS HOW IT AFFECTS YOU? 46 00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:13,465 - YOU'RE LIKE A LADY. 47 00:02:18,571 --> 00:02:20,439 - YOU KNOW WHAT I NOTICED? 48 00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:21,773 EVEN WHEN DEBRA'S ALL, 49 00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:23,642 "RAY! RAY! RAY! RAY! RAY! RAY! RAY!" 50 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,210 IF SHE FINDS OUT I'M COMIN' OVER HERE, 51 00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:27,146 SHE GOES OUT OF HER WAY TO BE NICE TO ME. 52 00:02:27,148 --> 00:02:28,213 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 53 00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:29,715 - WELL, LIKE YESTERDAY, 54 00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:31,283 MA WANTED ME TO COME OVER, 55 00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:32,885 AND DEBRA ALL OF A SUDDEN WAS LIKE, 56 00:02:32,887 --> 00:02:35,587 "HEY, WHY DON'T YOU GO HIT A BUCKET OF BALLS?" 57 00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:38,524 - SHE TOLD YOU TO GO TO THE DRIVING RANGE? 58 00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:39,892 - YEAH. 59 00:02:39,894 --> 00:02:42,528 AND THEN I ALSO WENT ON THE GO-CARTS. 60 00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:46,698 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 61 00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:49,701 YOU SHOULD TRY THIS WITH MOM, GET WHAT YOU WANT. 62 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,703 JUST TALK TO HER, 63 00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:54,640 AND THROW DEBRA INTO THE MIX. 64 00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:56,842 - AH. 65 00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:59,211 I LIKE THAT... 66 00:02:59,213 --> 00:03:02,881 EXCEPT FOR THE "TALK TO HER" PART. 67 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,516 - YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO MA. 68 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,884 SHE'S YOUR WIFE. 69 00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:08,887 - GO HOME. 70 00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:11,190 HEY, MARIE! 71 00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:12,424 - WHAT? 72 00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:14,726 - UH, YOU'RE RIGHT, 73 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,728 I HAVE BEEN MAKING A MESS HERE. 74 00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,897 WE'LL JUST GO OVER TO DEBRA'S. 75 00:03:22,902 --> 00:03:24,336 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 76 00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:25,637 - YEAH, YEAH. 77 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,339 I'LL GET OUT OF YOUR HAIR. 78 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:28,840 - NO, DON'T BE SILLY. 79 00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,509 SIT. 80 00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:31,843 - NO, NO, NO, NO. 81 00:03:31,845 --> 00:03:33,579 IT'S EASY ENOUGH TO GO ACROSS THE STREET. 82 00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:34,813 COME ON, RAY. 83 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:37,316 - NO, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? 84 00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:39,284 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED? 85 00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:41,386 GRILLED CHEESE. 86 00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:51,230 - DOUBLE CHEESE? 87 00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:53,265 NO CRUST? 88 00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:55,601 - OF COURSE. SIT. 89 00:03:58,471 --> 00:04:00,806 WOULD YOU LIKE A GRILLED CHEESE, RAYMOND? 90 00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:03,342 - YOU GOT BACON? 91 00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:04,576 - OF COURSE. 92 00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:10,015 - HOW ABOUT YOU, ROB? 93 00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:13,518 - [pointedly] NO, THANK YOU. 94 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,522 - OKAY, THEN, TWO GRILLED CHEESE COMIN' UP. 95 00:04:23,896 --> 00:04:25,998 - I LOVE YOU. 96 00:04:34,807 --> 00:04:36,408 [phone rings] 97 00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:37,643 - HELLO. 98 00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:40,012 HEY, MA. 99 00:04:40,014 --> 00:04:41,913 YEAH, YEAH, DAD'S HERE. 100 00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:44,416 WE'RE JUST WATCHING THE GAME. 101 00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:47,319 YEAH, BUT SHE'S LEAVING TO PICK UP THE KIDS. 102 00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:48,720 - DOES SHE WANT TO KNOW WHAT I'M DOING? 103 00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:51,757 TELL HER I'M HERE TOO. 104 00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:53,058 - ROBERT'S HERE TOO. 105 00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,459 I DON'T KNOW. 106 00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,395 HE WANTED ME TO TELL YOU. 107 00:04:58,331 --> 00:04:59,398 YEAH. 108 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:00,399 ALL RIGHT. 109 00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:03,001 OKAY, BYE-BYE. 110 00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:05,504 MA WASN'T TOO HAPPY THAT YOU'RE HERE, DAD. 111 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,806 - GOOD, SHE'S GETTING THE MESSAGE. 112 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,341 I CAME OVER HERE 113 00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:10,909 BECAUSE THE OMELET SHE MADE ME THIS MORNING 114 00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:14,413 WAS HALF-ASSED. 115 00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:17,015 - YOU'RE HERE TO PUNISH MA? 116 00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:18,583 I THINK THAT'S TERRIBLE. 117 00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:20,419 - NO, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S TERRIBLE: 118 00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:24,823 A SALAMI OMELET THAT'S SKIMPY ON THE SALAMI. 119 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,358 - YOU KNOW WHAT, RAY? 120 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:27,893 TELL YOUR MOTHER NOT TO CALL HERE ANYMORE. 121 00:05:27,895 --> 00:05:29,795 I AM SICK OF FEELING LIKE I CAN'T ANSWER THE PHONE 122 00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:31,029 IN MY OWN HOUSE. 123 00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,597 - I CAN'T TELL HER NOT TO CALL. 124 00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:35,067 - I'LL DO IT. 125 00:05:35,069 --> 00:05:37,035 - ALL RIGHT, I'LL TELL HER IF SHE NEEDS TO TALK TO ME 126 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:39,604 TO LET THE PHONE RING ONCE-- THAT'LL BE HER SIGNAL-- 127 00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:40,972 THEN HANG UP AND CALL BACK. 128 00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:42,708 - FINE, I'LL USE THE SAME SIGNAL 129 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,543 IF YOU'RE OVER THERE AND I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. 130 00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,611 - AND WHEN I PICK UP, YOU DO A LITTLE HEAVY BREATHING-- 131 00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:48,647 - I'LL BE BACK IN HALF AN HOUR. 132 00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:54,953 - HELLO? 133 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,824 - WHAT'S GOIN' ON, MA? 134 00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:01,493 - I THOUGHT YOU BOYS COULD USE A LITTLE SNACK. 135 00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:03,462 STUFFED MUSHROOMS. 136 00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,097 - LET'S HAVE IT. 137 00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:11,903 - I KNOW IT'S USUALLY SLIM PICKINGS AROUND HERE. 138 00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:13,538 THAT'S WHY I WANTED TO BRING THESE OVER 139 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,407 AS QUICKLY AS I COULD. 140 00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:17,709 - MMM, THESE ARE GOOD. 141 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:21,513 BETTER THAN THAT OMELET. 142 00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:22,981 - YES, I KNOW. 143 00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:24,449 I'M SORRY. 144 00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:26,485 I WAS ALMOST OUT OF SALAMI, 145 00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:28,120 AND I KNEW THE OMELET WASN'T RIGHT. 146 00:06:28,122 --> 00:06:30,756 I SHOULD'VE JUST THROWN IT OUT OR GIVEN IT TO ROBBIE. 147 00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:41,433 WELL, EAT UP, BOYS. 148 00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:43,168 THERE'S PLENTY MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM... 149 00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:46,138 ACROSS THE STREET. 150 00:06:46,140 --> 00:06:50,842 - RAY, YOUR CAR IS BLOCKING ME, SO IF YOU-- 151 00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:54,546 SO I'LL JUST TAKE YOUR CAR. 152 00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:57,048 OKAY? IF THAT'S OKAY. 153 00:06:57,050 --> 00:07:00,118 - YEAH, OKAY. 154 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,753 - WELL, BOYS, I HAVE TO GET BACK. 155 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,755 I'VE GOT A LOT OF TREATS TO MAKE, 156 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,158 WHICH WILL BE DELICIOUS. 157 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,193 - YOU KNOW, RAY, AS LONG AS I'M TAKING YOUR CAR, 158 00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:11,430 DO YOU WANT ME TO GAS IT UP FOR YOU? 159 00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:15,767 - OH, YEAH, IF YOU DON'T MIND. 160 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,502 - NO, NO, IT WOULD BE FUN. 161 00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:20,939 - FRANK, I'M GONNA MAKE CANNELLONI TONIGHT. 162 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:23,575 - SOUNDS OKAY. 163 00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:25,110 - OH, ACTUALLY, NO. 164 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:29,181 INSTEAD OF CANNELLONI, I'LL MAKE SOME LAMB. 165 00:07:29,183 --> 00:07:31,450 A WHOLE LAMB. 166 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,619 - YEAH? 167 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,755 WITH THAT MINT JELLY I LIKE? 168 00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:41,460 - OF COURSE, WHATEVER YOU WANT, H-HONEY. 169 00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:02,180 - OH, COME ON. 170 00:08:04,717 --> 00:08:06,051 - SO, RAY, UH... 171 00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:07,686 WHAT IF I BRING HOME A PIZZA FOR DINNER? 172 00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:09,221 - OH. 173 00:08:09,223 --> 00:08:12,090 - AND MAYBE A NICE BOTTLE OF WINE? 174 00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:14,192 - OH! 175 00:08:17,797 --> 00:08:20,799 - MARIE, NO WINE. 176 00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:31,576 - FRANK, YOU RASCAL. 177 00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:36,114 - OKAY, WELL, I'LL SEE YOU, SWEETIE. 178 00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:37,782 BYE, FRANK. BYE, ROBERT. 179 00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:39,217 - BYE. - BYE. 180 00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,553 - I LOVE YOU FELLAS! 181 00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:43,154 BYE-BYE! 182 00:08:44,957 --> 00:08:46,958 - OH, MAN! 183 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,895 WE GOTTA GET THESE TWO HENS TOGETHER MORE OFTEN. 184 00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:51,630 - I KNOW. 185 00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:54,799 I'LL BET I CAN GET A WEEK OF GOLF AT MYRTLE BEACH. 186 00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:56,535 - I MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET MARIE 187 00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:58,670 UP ON THE ROOF TO CLEAN THE GUTTERS. 188 00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:02,541 [laughter] 189 00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:09,314 - YOU TWO, PLAYING YOUR WIVES AGAINST EACH OTHER-- 190 00:09:09,316 --> 00:09:10,282 YOU'RE DESPICABLE! 191 00:09:10,284 --> 00:09:13,785 - CALM DOWN, DAINTY DUCK. 192 00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:15,086 - YEAH, WHAT? 193 00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:16,888 WE TRIED TO GET THEM TO STOP FIGHTING. 194 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,957 IF THEY WANNA KEEP IT UP, WHY SHOULD WE HAVE TO SUFFER? 195 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:20,892 - THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NOT SUFFERING 196 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,227 AND EXPLOITING THE SITUATION. 197 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,129 YOU SHOULD BE SUPPORTING YOUR WIVES, 198 00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:25,697 BRINGING THEM TOGETHER. 199 00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:28,667 THIS IS NOT THE WAY FOR A FAMILY TO BEHAVE. 200 00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:34,839 - YOU KNOW, WHILE MARIE'S UP ON THE ROOF, 201 00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:37,175 I'LL HAVE HER INSTALL A SATELLITE DISH. 202 00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:49,287 - HI, ROBERT. 203 00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:51,656 - HEY, DEB. 204 00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:53,024 - COME ON IN. 205 00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:54,693 - ALL RIGHT. 206 00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:57,829 RAYMOND AROUND? 207 00:09:57,831 --> 00:10:00,332 - NO, HE'S OUT BUYING HIMSELF A NEW PUTTER. 208 00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:05,837 - ISN'T THAT NICE FOR HIM. 209 00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,305 SO HOW ARE YOU? 210 00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:08,940 - I'M FINE. 211 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:12,010 - THAT'S GOOD. I'M GLAD ONE OF US IS FINE. 212 00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:13,378 - YOU'RE NOT FINE, ROBERT? 213 00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:15,380 - WELL, YOU KNOW ME-- 214 00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:18,216 I DON'T DO WELL WITH THE TENSION. 215 00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:19,951 IT GETS ME RIGHT IN THE GUT. 216 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,386 AND THIS THING WITH YOU AND MY MOM, 217 00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:25,090 MUY TENSIONOSO. 218 00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:27,659 - IS THAT SPANISH FOR "VERY TENSE"? 219 00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:29,728 - I DON'T KNOW. 220 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,399 ALL I KNOW IS, I'M POPPING ANTACIDS 221 00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:37,268 LIKE THEY'RE COCKTAIL PEANUTS. 222 00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:39,004 COME ON, YOU KNOW, 223 00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:40,839 THIS FIGHT HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH. 224 00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:42,407 I BET YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER 225 00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:44,743 WHY YOU WERE MAD AT EACH OTHER IN THE FIRST PLACE. 226 00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:46,144 - WHY? 227 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,812 BECAUSE YOUR MOTHER IS CONDESCENDING, 228 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,314 OVERBEARING, PATRONIZING... 229 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:50,715 - OKAY, OKAY. - MANIPULATIVE-- 230 00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:51,916 - OKAY! 231 00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:53,752 THE WHYS ARE NOT IMPORTANT. 232 00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:56,087 BUT WHAT IS IMPORTANT 233 00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:59,724 IS TO REMEMBER THAT LIFE IS SHORT. 234 00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:00,992 YOU KNOW HOW THEY ALWAYS SAY 235 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:04,062 YOU SHOULD NEVER GO TO BED MAD? 236 00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:09,134 WELL, I SAY IT'D EVEN BE WORSE TO GO TO THE BIG BED MAD. 237 00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:10,835 HMM? 238 00:11:12,304 --> 00:11:14,172 - I'M SORRY, ROBERT. 239 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,875 I--I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, 240 00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,877 BUT I HAVE TO TELL YOU, 241 00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:23,715 I NEED TO START THINKING ABOUT MYSELF FOR A CHANGE. 242 00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:27,419 - OKAY. 243 00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:33,858 I KNOW THAT RAYMOND'S THINKING ABOUT HIMSELF. 244 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:36,261 - RAY? WHAT--WHAT-- WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 245 00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:38,730 - HUH? 246 00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:43,835 - WHAT IS IT, ROBERT? 247 00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:46,438 - WELL, MAYBE IT'S JUST ME, 248 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,173 BUT I'M OF THE OPINION THAT A MAN SHOULD BE 249 00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,341 MORE CONCERNED ABOUT HIS FAMILY'S WELL-BEING 250 00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:53,078 THAN FIGURING OUT A WAY TO GET HIS WIFE TO LET HIM GO 251 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:57,048 ON A WEEK-LONG GOLF RETREAT TO MYRTLE BEACH. 252 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,150 - WHAT GOLF RETREAT? 253 00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:00,452 - COME ON; YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED 254 00:12:00,454 --> 00:12:02,253 HE'S BEEN DROPPING HINTS LIKE CRAZY? 255 00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:04,389 MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO BUSY RUNNING AROUND 256 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:05,790 GASSING UP HIS CAR, 257 00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:14,099 DRINKING WINE, AND HAVING TO... 258 00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:17,268 DO THINGS BECAUSE OF THE WINE. 259 00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:19,137 - ROBERT, ALL I-- 260 00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:21,005 - WAKE UP, SIS! 261 00:12:21,007 --> 00:12:23,208 DAD AND RAYMOND HAVE A LAUNDRY LIST OF STUFF 262 00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:24,743 THEY'RE TRYING TO GET OUT OF YOU TWO! 263 00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:26,478 THEY'RE EXPLOITING THE SITUATION. 264 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,313 THEY'RE PLAYING YOU TWO AGAINST EACH OTHER. 265 00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:32,150 THEY'RE LAUGHING AT YOU, AND IT'S MAKING ME SICK! 266 00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:38,990 BUT IF IT DOESN'T BOTHER YOU... 267 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:51,536 YOU KNOW, THEY SAY YOU SHOULD NEVER GO TO BED MAD. 268 00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:55,840 WELL, I SAY IT'D BE EVEN WORSE TO GO THE BIG BED MAD. 269 00:12:55,842 --> 00:12:58,076 HMM? 270 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,882 ALL RIGHT, MA. 271 00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:05,950 THERE'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW. 272 00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,552 AND I'M ONLY SAYING THIS 'CAUSE I DON'T WANT 273 00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:10,555 TO SEE YOU ON THE ROOF. 274 00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:21,099 - [whistling] 275 00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:24,302 HEY, MOONSHINE! 276 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:27,438 WELL, HERE SHE IS. 277 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,274 A LITTLE MORE EXPENSIVE THAN I THOUGHT, 278 00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:31,342 BUT IT'LL BE WORTH IT, YOU KNOW, 279 00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:35,847 IF I EVER GO ON A, I DON'T KNOW, GOLF RETREAT OR SOMETHING. 280 00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:37,816 - YEAH, THAT'S NICE. 281 00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:40,051 LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING, RAY. 282 00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:41,953 HOW LONG DID YOU THINK YOU'D BE ABLE 283 00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:44,022 TO USE ME AND YOUR MOM? 284 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,824 - HOW'S THAT? 285 00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:48,927 - YOU DIDN'T THINK I WAS SMART ENOUGH 286 00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,595 TO SEE WHAT YOU WERE DOING? 287 00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:52,530 - I DON'T--WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 288 00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:54,032 - DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH ME! 289 00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:56,100 - I'M NOT! THIS IS HOW I AM. 290 00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:00,405 - YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY SUBTLE, 291 00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:02,574 SITTIN' THERE LIKE SOME ROMAN EMPEROR. 292 00:14:02,576 --> 00:14:05,109 "BRING ME MY PIZZA! SERVE ME MY WINE! 293 00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:06,978 PRETEND YOU'RE A LONELY NURSE!" 294 00:14:16,388 --> 00:14:18,389 - HEY. 295 00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:20,225 YOU KNOW WHAT THE GUYS AT THE LODGE 296 00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:21,893 WERE JUST TELLIN' ME? 297 00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:25,196 APPARENTLY, IF YOU INSTALL IT YOURSELF, 298 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:29,500 A SATELLITE DISH IS ACTUALLY QUITE AFFORDABLE. 299 00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:32,237 MAKES YOU THINK, DOESN'T IT? 300 00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,973 ANYWAY, MAKE ME A SANDWICH, WILL YA? 301 00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:37,575 - YOU WANT A SANDWICH? 302 00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:40,478 - UH, ROAST BEEF, MAYO, MUSTARD, LETTUCE, 303 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:44,048 TOMATO, CHEESE, EASY ONION. 304 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:47,552 - SOUNDS NICE. WHAT KIND OF BREAD? 305 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:51,656 - LET'S GO WITH THE WHOLE WHEAT TODAY, SHALL WE? 306 00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:53,258 - ALL RIGHT. 307 00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:58,529 - OW! HEY! HEY! OW! 308 00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:00,498 OKAY, WHITE BREAD, THEN! 309 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,967 - YOU DIDN'T THINK I'D CATCH ON TO YOU, MR. SLEAZY MAN? 310 00:15:02,969 --> 00:15:05,970 OH, I CAUGHT ON. OH, DID I CATCH ON! 311 00:15:05,972 --> 00:15:08,473 SURE, GETTING THE TWO OF US TO WAIT ON YOU HAND AND FOOT, 312 00:15:08,475 --> 00:15:10,575 THROUGH EXPLOITING THE SITUATION. 313 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,277 I WISH THIS BREAD WAS STALE. 314 00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:14,579 I WOULD GIVE YOU A CONCUSSION! 315 00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:31,362 LOOK WHO IT IS. 316 00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:33,998 I SUPPOSE YOU'RE HERE TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT. 317 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:37,435 - DON'T ASK FOR A SANDWICH. 318 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:40,004 - IF YOU'RE HUNGRY, I SUGGEST YOU GO BACK ACROSS THE STREET, 319 00:15:40,006 --> 00:15:42,273 'CAUSE THIS KITCHEN IS CLOSED! 320 00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:46,344 - HER TOO? 321 00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,179 - YEAH. 322 00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:49,480 WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? 323 00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:51,182 - DEBRA. 324 00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:52,684 SHE STARTED YELLIN' AT ME 325 00:15:52,686 --> 00:15:54,519 AND TELLIN' ME I WAS USING HER FIGHT WITH MOM 326 00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:56,020 FOR MY OWN GOOD, 327 00:15:56,022 --> 00:15:58,289 SAID I WAS EXPLOITING THE SITUATION. 328 00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,625 - WAIT A MINUTE. 329 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,493 "EXPLOITING THE SITUATION," 330 00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:04,495 THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOUR MOTHER JUST SAID. 331 00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:07,498 - REALLY? WELL, HOW DID BOTH MOM AND DEBRA KNOW-- 332 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,701 - OH, HEY, I FORGOT MY TUMS. 333 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,718 WELL, I'M OFF. 334 00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:31,456 - HEY, ROBERT. 335 00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:34,258 YOU GOT ANY IDEA WHY RAY AND I 336 00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:37,228 JUST GOT OUR GRAPES CRUSHED BY THE BROADS? 337 00:16:41,533 --> 00:16:43,534 - OKAY, TAKE IT EASY. 338 00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:46,237 SOME THINGS MIGHT HAVE BEEN SAID IN PASSING THAT-- 339 00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:48,740 THAT POSSIBLY COULD HAVE BEEN MISCONSTRUED. 340 00:16:48,742 --> 00:16:51,476 - YOU SOLD US OUT, MAN! - YOU'RE A RAT! 341 00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:53,478 WE HAD SOMETHING GOOD GOING, AND YOU RUINED IT! 342 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,013 - OKAY, HOLD ON. HOLD ON. 343 00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,681 YOU DIDN'T HAVE "SOMETHING GOOD" GOING. 344 00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:58,416 - YES, WE DID! 345 00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:00,752 FOR ONCE, I WAS ENJOYING MY MARRIAGE! 346 00:17:03,622 --> 00:17:06,157 - LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. 347 00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:07,625 YOU TWO GOT WHAT YOU DESERVED. 348 00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,293 I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE MAD AT ME. 349 00:17:09,295 --> 00:17:11,429 I'M SORRY THAT YOUR PUTTER GOT BENT, RAYMOND, 350 00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:13,431 AND I'M SORRY MA'S NOT HANGING OFF THE ROOF 351 00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:16,100 WITH 50 FOOT OF CABLE AND A RATCHET! 352 00:17:21,573 --> 00:17:25,710 BUT, BY GOD, I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES 353 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:30,381 TO MAKE THIS FAMILY WHOLE! 354 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,817 - I THINK YOU'RE THE FAMILY HOLE. 355 00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:34,719 - OH, YEAH? - YEAH. 356 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:38,089 [both yelling] 357 00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:40,158 - WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 358 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,360 - HEY, ROBERT, WHY DON'T YOU RUN CRYIN' TO YOUR MOMMY 359 00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:44,662 AND TELL HER ABOUT HOW MEAN WE JUST WERE TO YOU? 360 00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:47,098 - YEAH, SQUEAL ON US AGAIN, MOMMY-LOVER! 361 00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:50,368 THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT. 362 00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:51,536 - SHUT UP, RAYMOND. 363 00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,538 [men gasp] 364 00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:58,409 - WE DON'T SAY "SHUT UP" IN THIS HOUSE. 365 00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,344 - FIRST OF ALL, IT'S NEVER SQUEALING 366 00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:02,647 IF YOU'RE TELLING SOMETHING TO YOUR MOTHER. 367 00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:05,149 AND I HAPPEN TO APPRECIATE ROBBIE LETTING ME KNOW 368 00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:08,786 WHAT YOU TWO WERE TRYING TO DO TO DEBRA AND ME. 369 00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:12,757 I WOULD BE HAPPY TO MAKE YOU SOMETHING TO EAT. 370 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,725 [phone rings] 371 00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:16,260 - WAIT. 372 00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:22,333 ONE RING. 373 00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:24,602 THAT'S DEBRA'S SIGNAL. 374 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,170 [ringing resumes] 375 00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:28,706 - YOU CAN PICK UP THAT PHONE, MA. 376 00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:30,308 [ringing] 377 00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:32,710 MA, MAKE THIS RIGHT. 378 00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:36,647 YOU CAN MAKE THIS RIGHT. 379 00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,382 [ringing continues] 380 00:18:38,384 --> 00:18:41,419 YOU CAN DO IT, MA. 381 00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:43,621 REMEMBER THAT BIG BED. 382 00:18:46,358 --> 00:18:48,192 ATTAWAY, MA! 383 00:18:48,194 --> 00:18:49,727 MA! 384 00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:53,464 THIS WAS YOUR CHANCE! 385 00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,299 WHAT DID WE JUST TALK ABOUT IN THERE? 386 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:56,734 WHAT ABOUT THE BIG BED? 387 00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:58,336 - ALL YOUR TALK ABOUT THE BIG BED, 388 00:18:58,338 --> 00:18:59,570 WHY DON'T YOU TELL THAT TO DEBRA? 389 00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:02,507 - I DID! 390 00:19:02,509 --> 00:19:05,810 - YOU DID? 391 00:19:07,779 --> 00:19:11,782 YOU TOLD HER THE SAME THING YOU TOLD ME? 392 00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:13,718 - I WAS JUST TRYING TO-- TO SHOW-- 393 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:17,155 - OH! ENOUGH. 394 00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:20,458 YOU'RE A DOUBLE AGENT. 395 00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:22,660 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 396 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:25,830 - YEAH, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT A DOUBLE AGENT WOULD SAY. 397 00:19:30,869 --> 00:19:32,537 - YOU DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH FAITH IN ME 398 00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:34,172 TO KNOW THAT I WOULD DO THE RIGHT THING, 399 00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:35,540 SO YOU WENT TO HER TOO. 400 00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:36,741 - YOU DIDN'T DO THE RIGHT THING! 401 00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:38,276 - THAT'S HARDLY THE POINT! 402 00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:40,311 - HARDLY! 403 00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:42,346 WHAT HE DID IS MUCH WORSE THAN WHAT WE DID, RIGHT, MA? 404 00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:44,415 - SHUT UP, RAYMOND. 405 00:19:45,884 --> 00:19:49,754 - WE SAY IT ALL THE TIME NOW? 406 00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:51,556 - TELL ME SOMETHING, ROBERT. 407 00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:55,293 WHO DID YOU TALK TO FIRST ABOUT THIS, DEBRA OR ME? 408 00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:57,428 - I DON'T REMEMBER. 409 00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:59,263 - YOU WENT TO HER FIRST, 410 00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:01,499 BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T WAIT TO TAKE HER SIDE OVER MINE! 411 00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:03,267 - I'M ON NO ONE'S SIDE! 412 00:20:03,269 --> 00:20:05,503 - YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T LOVE ME THE WAY I LOVE YOU. 413 00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:07,572 GET OUT! - MA! 414 00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:09,207 I'M ON THE FAMILY'S SIDE! 415 00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:10,975 - THROW HIM OUT! - WITH PLEASURE! 416 00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:13,778 - ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING! 417 00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:15,880 BUT LET ME JUST SAY THIS. 418 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:21,385 WHEN WE ARE ALL IN THAT BIG BED, 419 00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:24,855 I'LL BE THE ONLY ONE ABLE TO SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT. 420 00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:34,465 - I AIN'T SLEEPIN' IN THAT BED WITH HIM. 421 00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:35,900 HE SLEEPS NAKED. 422 00:20:53,485 --> 00:20:55,486 - I WASN'T GOIN' ANYWHERE. 423 00:20:59,524 --> 00:21:01,592 DON'T BEND 'EM. 424 00:21:18,010 --> 00:21:19,410 - [sighs] 425 00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:32,657 I'D LIKE SOME CHIPS. 426 00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:55,946 - OH!