1 00:00:17,706 --> 00:00:19,510 I am the Lexx 2 00:00:19,608 --> 00:00:23,813 I am the most powerful weapon of destruction in the two universes. 3 00:01:02,507 --> 00:01:05,709 Lexx 2.09 791 4 00:01:39,913 --> 00:01:41,515 If I only had a body, 5 00:01:41,615 --> 00:01:43,617 I'd be more than just a head. 6 00:01:43,717 --> 00:01:45,518 If I only had a body, 7 00:01:45,618 --> 00:01:47,720 I would slap her on the bed. 8 00:01:47,820 --> 00:01:49,288 If I only had a body, 9 00:01:49,388 --> 00:01:50,690 If I - 10 00:02:00,398 --> 00:02:01,900 If I only had a body, 11 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:04,401 I would be Xev's hunky man. 12 00:02:04,501 --> 00:02:05,903 If I only had a body, 13 00:02:06,003 --> 00:02:08,505 I would get to pummel Stan. 14 00:02:08,605 --> 00:02:09,708 If I - 15 00:02:16,912 --> 00:02:18,515 Oh, I was just dreaming. 16 00:02:24,485 --> 00:02:26,187 Lyekka? 17 00:02:27,989 --> 00:02:29,691 Hello Stanley. 18 00:02:31,892 --> 00:02:34,194 It's wonderful to see you. 19 00:02:34,294 --> 00:02:36,498 I was just dreaming of you in that outfit. 20 00:02:38,097 --> 00:02:42,598 Hello robot. I have to eat - soon. 21 00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:47,216 Well, see that's, that's a problem. 22 00:02:47,703 --> 00:02:50,185 See, we're precisely in the middle of nowhere. 23 00:02:50,186 --> 00:02:52,667 There's no-one out there, there's no-one to eat. 24 00:02:52,911 --> 00:02:54,013 Except you - 25 00:02:54,113 --> 00:02:56,047 so please Lyekka, 26 00:02:56,048 --> 00:02:57,983 help yourself to security guard class appetiser - 27 00:02:58,383 --> 00:03:01,226 and stay away from Xev, meat fiend! 28 00:03:01,986 --> 00:03:04,038 You don't have to worry yet, Stanley. 29 00:03:04,039 --> 00:03:06,090 I heard a signal. 30 00:03:07,891 --> 00:03:10,395 That means there should be something else to eat nearby. 31 00:03:10,446 --> 00:03:13,933 A signal? Why didn't you wake me? 32 00:03:13,996 --> 00:03:16,348 It was a distress signal. 33 00:03:16,349 --> 00:03:18,701 They only lead to trouble, so I always ignore them. 34 00:03:19,902 --> 00:03:22,303 Yeah, well - yeah. 35 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,281 It is not a life bearing planet,, 36 00:03:35,282 --> 00:03:39,186 therefore the distress signal must be coming from a life form that originated somewhere else. 37 00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:42,087 Like people who might have crashed there? 38 00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:43,888 Yes - for example. 39 00:03:43,889 --> 00:03:45,390 Any atmosphere? 40 00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:46,992 A very thin one. 41 00:03:46,993 --> 00:03:50,065 Xev would require a pressure suit. Stanley would not. 42 00:03:50,095 --> 00:03:51,695 Why not? 43 00:03:51,696 --> 00:03:55,301 Because a pressure suit would allow you to continue to breathing, which is a bad idea. 44 00:03:56,101 --> 00:03:58,601 A pressure suit would prevent the gas dissolved in your blood 45 00:03:58,602 --> 00:04:00,605 from exploding in the thin atmosphere - 46 00:04:00,705 --> 00:04:03,973 something I've been looking very forward to. A pressure suit... 47 00:04:03,974 --> 00:04:07,477 Anyway - I'm not going anywhere. 48 00:04:07,678 --> 00:04:10,178 What's the matter Stan - scared? 49 00:04:10,179 --> 00:04:13,283 No, smart. I'm staying on the Lexx. 50 00:04:14,884 --> 00:04:17,385 I have to go down to the planet now. 51 00:04:17,386 --> 00:04:19,157 I'm very hungry. 52 00:04:19,278 --> 00:04:25,093 So, we go down to the planet and rescue some crashed people, and then you just - eat them? 53 00:04:26,093 --> 00:04:28,797 I will eat animals, if there are any. 54 00:04:29,597 --> 00:04:31,898 But the people if that's all there is? 55 00:04:31,899 --> 00:04:34,199 Yes. 56 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,670 I would never eat Kai, because Kai is dead. 57 00:04:37,470 --> 00:04:40,374 You are my friends, so I prefer not to eat you, 58 00:04:41,174 --> 00:04:43,374 but if I stay here I will have to. 59 00:04:43,375 --> 00:04:44,475 What if I stop you? 60 00:04:44,476 --> 00:04:45,476 How? 61 00:04:45,477 --> 00:04:47,080 Kill you, perhaps. 62 00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:55,387 I'm not so easy to kill. 63 00:04:56,187 --> 00:04:59,091 Please - I need to go down to the planet now. 64 00:05:04,983 --> 00:05:07,899 But I like her - well, when she's not hungry anyway. 65 00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:11,368 I like you too Stanley. 66 00:05:11,568 --> 00:05:13,969 She eats people. 67 00:05:13,970 --> 00:05:15,770 Well, yeah, but - 68 00:05:15,771 --> 00:05:18,423 Lyekka is a predator. I t is fundamental to her nature 69 00:05:18,424 --> 00:05:21,076 to consume other living life forms, like you. 70 00:05:22,077 --> 00:05:25,481 So you think we should leave her on the planet then? 71 00:05:26,281 --> 00:05:29,684 Being dead means not having an opinion. 72 00:05:30,484 --> 00:05:33,051 Well I think - I think we're stuck for now. 73 00:05:33,052 --> 00:05:35,618 Maybe I'll decide to leave her 74 00:05:35,619 --> 00:05:38,186 behind once we get down there. 75 00:05:38,992 --> 00:05:44,548 Ah Xev, don't be so foolish. I mean, there's no need to go down - stay here, stay safe. 76 00:05:45,464 --> 00:05:47,466 Xev are you listening? 77 00:05:48,267 --> 00:05:49,369 Nope. 78 00:05:52,070 --> 00:05:54,573 No. No. 79 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,984 We're close to the source of the distress signal now. 80 00:06:13,188 --> 00:06:14,558 There it is. 81 00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:17,999 Stan - Xev. 82 00:06:19,324 --> 00:06:22,301 There's a crashed ship where that distress signal is coming from. 83 00:06:22,302 --> 00:06:23,302 Be careful. 84 00:06:23,865 --> 00:06:26,166 Sure, we will. 85 00:06:26,167 --> 00:06:28,470 I've got a bad feeling. 86 00:06:33,373 --> 00:06:35,776 I've got a bad feeling. 87 00:06:50,755 --> 00:06:53,659 Stay close to me! I can't see a thing. 88 00:06:54,459 --> 00:06:56,859 I will. 89 00:06:56,860 --> 00:06:59,564 Lyekka! Let's stay close together. 90 00:07:01,765 --> 00:07:04,568 Lyekka! Lyekka? 91 00:07:53,278 --> 00:07:54,878 How can we open this door? 92 00:07:54,879 --> 00:07:57,149 I think from in there. 93 00:07:58,148 --> 00:08:01,780 Clearly this airlock is controlled from behind that armoured glass.. 94 00:08:02,044 --> 00:08:06,205 That is highly unusual. We should return to the Lexx at once. 95 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,949 Maybe we should check out whatever's up there first. 96 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,042 The air is breathable in here Xev. 97 00:09:05,842 --> 00:09:07,243 Are you sure? 98 00:09:07,244 --> 00:09:08,944 Yes. 99 00:09:08,945 --> 00:09:12,348 Some of the ship's systems are obviously still operating. 100 00:09:14,750 --> 00:09:17,253 I don't know, this must be the bridge. 101 00:09:28,962 --> 00:09:31,165 These are human hearts. 102 00:09:31,865 --> 00:09:35,735 Yes. Their life support system is still functional. 103 00:09:36,836 --> 00:09:40,640 The pilot, however, is not. 104 00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:52,351 His head has been ripped off. 105 00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:56,654 A robot. 106 00:09:59,156 --> 00:10:00,859 A cyborg. 107 00:10:02,458 --> 00:10:06,263 Machine from the lungs up. Mostly human from there down. 108 00:10:08,451 --> 00:10:09,632 Goodbye, head. 109 00:10:11,534 --> 00:10:13,034 Are you OK? 110 00:10:13,235 --> 00:10:14,436 Fine. 111 00:10:15,437 --> 00:10:16,837 Was there a human crew? 112 00:10:16,838 --> 00:10:18,841 No sign of any. 113 00:10:24,545 --> 00:10:26,446 Must have been a hard landing... 114 00:10:26,447 --> 00:10:28,350 Yes - hard! 115 00:10:28,450 --> 00:10:29,650 790? 116 00:10:30,651 --> 00:10:32,453 What are you doing? 117 00:10:33,253 --> 00:10:36,357 Oh, just running a quick scan of his thing - his systems! 118 00:10:36,757 --> 00:10:37,757 Hmm. And? 119 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:39,457 He's completely dude - dead! 120 00:10:39,458 --> 00:10:42,928 Totally non functional. Never. Useless. History. 121 00:10:42,929 --> 00:10:44,129 Expired. Scrap. Done. 122 00:10:44,130 --> 00:10:46,431 I could have sworn you were getting ideas. 123 00:10:46,432 --> 00:10:47,932 Pardon me? 124 00:10:47,933 --> 00:10:50,836 Oh - yes, well, of course I noticed the missing head, 125 00:10:50,843 --> 00:10:53,737 but I determined immediately that it is beyond repair, 126 00:10:53,738 --> 00:10:56,341 so I dismissed the dick - the idea of making him work again then and there. 127 00:10:56,741 --> 00:11:03,069 What a shame. He's quite - a specimen. 128 00:11:05,348 --> 00:11:08,492 I should try to analyse the ship's flight computer, don't you think? 129 00:11:08,551 --> 00:11:11,078 After all, we want to know why it crashed. 130 00:11:11,154 --> 00:11:12,554 You seem to. 131 00:11:12,555 --> 00:11:14,357 My interest is purely academic. 132 00:11:15,123 --> 00:11:18,475 This could take a little while - quite a little while, 133 00:11:18,627 --> 00:11:21,758 in fact. I will have to learn how to work his - this, system. 134 00:11:21,930 --> 00:11:22,731 Perhaps you - 135 00:11:22,733 --> 00:11:26,434 Kai and I - will explore the rest of the ship, I guess. 136 00:11:26,734 --> 00:11:28,835 Excellent idea. 137 00:11:28,836 --> 00:11:32,339 I suggest that we begin with the rear section. 138 00:11:33,039 --> 00:11:35,341 Call us if anything big comes up. 139 00:11:35,342 --> 00:11:37,944 I will. 140 00:11:38,745 --> 00:11:40,145 Be careful Xev. 141 00:11:40,146 --> 00:11:42,747 I will. 142 00:11:43,348 --> 00:11:45,751 I won't be too long. 143 00:12:01,932 --> 00:12:04,685 OK, headless hunk of fantasy fulfilment. 144 00:12:04,686 --> 00:12:07,437 Time to meet your new master. 145 00:12:23,518 --> 00:12:26,222 I wonder why the two sections of the ship are so separate? 146 00:12:31,124 --> 00:12:32,625 Talk to me. 147 00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:35,227 Talk to me! 148 00:12:42,435 --> 00:12:45,136 Yes! 149 00:12:50,842 --> 00:12:53,745 Oh Xev - it's going to be magical. 150 00:12:56,113 --> 00:12:58,016 It's going to be - 151 00:13:02,519 --> 00:13:05,622 Bad. Very, very bad. 152 00:13:08,424 --> 00:13:11,226 790, we're in front of the door to the rear section of the ship, 153 00:13:11,326 --> 00:13:14,032 and we can't open it. Can you activate it from the bridge? 154 00:13:23,037 --> 00:13:24,840 Thank you. 155 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,108 Some kind of electronic barrier? 156 00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:38,117 It appears to be harmless. 157 00:13:40,119 --> 00:13:41,922 I wonder what it's purpose is? 158 00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:45,524 Shall we? 159 00:13:51,329 --> 00:13:52,932 It doesn't look like much. 160 00:13:57,334 --> 00:13:58,777 Let's make our way round. 161 00:14:02,105 --> 00:14:04,005 That's right. Come on body, 162 00:14:04,006 --> 00:14:05,009 come on! 163 00:14:08,211 --> 00:14:10,714 Lean over now. Pick me up, here we go. 164 00:14:13,215 --> 00:14:18,902 No, no, no! Come back here, you brawny servant of my soon to be requited passion! 165 00:14:19,521 --> 00:14:22,524 Put me in my rightful place! 166 00:15:04,628 --> 00:15:07,130 This appears to be the entire cargo. 167 00:15:17,005 --> 00:15:19,107 Whatever's in there must be very valuable. 168 00:15:19,908 --> 00:15:22,311 Or very dangerous. 169 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:49,900 Found anything? 170 00:15:50,901 --> 00:15:52,605 An ovoid object. 171 00:15:52,708 --> 00:15:55,304 Potentially an alien egg of some sort. 172 00:15:57,713 --> 00:15:59,712 Now, gently. Gently! 173 00:16:18,793 --> 00:16:20,595 Be careful. 174 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:28,603 There's movement inside. 175 00:16:31,405 --> 00:16:32,508 Something alive. 176 00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:13,178 790, are you there? 790? 177 00:17:14,609 --> 00:17:18,855 790, can you hear me? Come in. 178 00:17:19,113 --> 00:17:21,216 I'm right heeeeeeeeeeeerre! 179 00:17:29,389 --> 00:17:31,592 Have you learned anything about the nature of this ship? 180 00:17:32,392 --> 00:17:34,194 Not much. 181 00:17:35,195 --> 00:17:36,594 Keep searching. 182 00:17:36,595 --> 00:17:39,298 And see if you can turn on some more lights in this section. 183 00:17:39,698 --> 00:17:42,201 I'll get right on it! 184 00:17:48,306 --> 00:17:51,710 Stan, this is Xev. We've found somebody alive. There could be more 185 00:17:52,510 --> 00:17:54,109 Somebody, 186 00:17:54,110 --> 00:17:56,080 what kind of somebody? 187 00:17:57,681 --> 00:17:59,583 A female somebody. 188 00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:02,086 Female. 189 00:18:03,686 --> 00:18:05,588 Is she attractive? 190 00:18:06,388 --> 00:18:08,191 Is that all that matters to you? 191 00:18:08,991 --> 00:18:11,094 Yeah, pretty much. 192 00:18:11,893 --> 00:18:12,993 Bye, Stan. 193 00:18:12,994 --> 00:18:14,897 No, wait, wait! 194 00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:34,281 Who are you? 195 00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:37,884 I am Kai, last of the Brunnen G. 196 00:18:38,683 --> 00:18:40,686 Where are the jailers? 197 00:18:41,887 --> 00:18:44,890 If you mean the crew, there is no sign of anybody. 198 00:18:45,690 --> 00:18:47,790 The bridge was deserted. 199 00:18:47,791 --> 00:18:49,893 Not even a pilot? 200 00:18:49,894 --> 00:18:52,297 There is a cyborg pilot, strapped in a seat. 201 00:18:53,097 --> 00:18:56,500 However, he seems to have lost his head when you landed. 202 00:18:57,300 --> 00:18:58,600 Landed? 203 00:18:58,601 --> 00:19:01,072 You've crashed, on an uninhabited planet. 204 00:19:02,673 --> 00:19:04,476 We heard your distress signal. 205 00:19:06,975 --> 00:19:08,376 Are you a prisoner? 206 00:19:08,377 --> 00:19:10,178 Yes. 207 00:19:10,179 --> 00:19:11,380 What was your crime? 208 00:19:11,881 --> 00:19:16,735 Nothing - except for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. 209 00:19:17,485 --> 00:19:19,588 I'm innocent. 210 00:19:20,388 --> 00:19:23,090 What was your crime? 211 00:19:24,090 --> 00:19:28,796 Failing my wifely duties, and humiliating my husband in the temple. 212 00:19:30,597 --> 00:19:33,099 I wasn't innocent. 213 00:19:36,469 --> 00:19:39,072 So, how did you end up here? 214 00:19:40,372 --> 00:19:44,348 I was going to meet my husband, at the outer colonies. 215 00:19:46,578 --> 00:19:49,881 We picked up some metal traders, at the outer rim. 216 00:19:50,681 --> 00:19:53,182 They started killing us, 217 00:19:53,183 --> 00:19:55,187 just murdering everyone. 218 00:19:55,788 --> 00:20:00,290 Laughing, rubbing blood all over - 219 00:20:02,191 --> 00:20:04,194 Where were they taking you? 220 00:20:05,395 --> 00:20:09,865 I don't know. They might be slave traders, I don't know! 221 00:20:10,465 --> 00:20:13,169 I wish they'd just killed me. 222 00:20:18,973 --> 00:20:20,173 I will release you. 223 00:20:20,174 --> 00:20:22,275 No! You can't! 224 00:20:22,276 --> 00:20:23,977 Why not? 225 00:20:23,978 --> 00:20:29,192 When they put me in here, they removed my heart, to prevent escape. 226 00:20:31,785 --> 00:20:36,383 They kept me conscious while they did it, made me watch. 227 00:20:47,965 --> 00:20:50,268 I'm going to check the other cells. 228 00:20:55,572 --> 00:20:58,175 Don't worry, I'll be back soon. 229 00:20:59,777 --> 00:21:02,479 Kai, I'm worried about Lyekka showing up. 230 00:21:03,279 --> 00:21:04,480 You should be. 231 00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:07,982 We have to get this woman's heart from the bridge before - 232 00:21:07,983 --> 00:21:09,783 Lyekka gets it? 233 00:21:09,784 --> 00:21:11,286 Yes. 234 00:21:12,687 --> 00:21:15,157 How will you know which one it is? 235 00:21:15,957 --> 00:21:19,360 It should be the first one in line, just like her. 236 00:21:38,477 --> 00:21:43,780 Go ahead! Do your worst, I'm ready for you - 237 00:21:43,882 --> 00:21:48,798 but if you turn your back on me for one second, I'll rip your throat out! 238 00:21:49,253 --> 00:21:52,989 I am not your jailer. I am Kai, last of the Brunnen G. 239 00:21:53,257 --> 00:21:57,502 You could be the last of the cockroaches for all I care, 240 00:21:57,503 --> 00:21:59,626 I'm still gonna tear you apart! 241 00:22:11,473 --> 00:22:13,475 How's it going, 790? 242 00:22:14,475 --> 00:22:15,977 790! 243 00:22:18,279 --> 00:22:19,482 Where are you? 244 00:22:25,051 --> 00:22:27,553 Here, my love - 245 00:22:27,554 --> 00:22:30,256 but I'm more than 790 now. 246 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:39,255 You can call me 791 - the one for you. 247 00:22:41,566 --> 00:22:43,867 It's our day of destiny, Xev. 248 00:22:43,868 --> 00:22:46,672 I am whole, and wholly yours. 249 00:22:47,471 --> 00:22:49,672 You said he was broken. 250 00:22:49,673 --> 00:22:51,776 I lied for love. 251 00:22:52,576 --> 00:22:54,677 I don't believe it. 252 00:22:54,678 --> 00:23:00,749 But it's true. Here I am, and I can't wait to take you in my. 253 00:23:03,953 --> 00:23:06,756 No mercy. Terminate them! 254 00:23:08,857 --> 00:23:11,058 What was that? 255 00:23:11,059 --> 00:23:16,293 Part of the cyborg's control unit is body centred. I can override it - mostly. 256 00:23:16,964 --> 00:23:19,467 Oh Xev - I don't know where to start. 257 00:23:19,767 --> 00:23:22,969 Do you want to be on top? Should I rub you somewhere first? 258 00:23:23,069 --> 00:23:25,773 Command me, my mistress of passion! 259 00:23:27,874 --> 00:23:31,145 Not so fast, lover boy. I'm still getting over the shock. 260 00:23:31,944 --> 00:23:34,747 The new you certainly offers a lot of - 261 00:23:35,547 --> 00:23:36,948 possibility. 262 00:23:36,949 --> 00:23:39,150 An immense possibility! 263 00:23:39,151 --> 00:23:42,053 791 will be your engine of desire. 264 00:23:42,553 --> 00:23:47,201 Gentle caresses. Full throttle animal couplings, and everything in between. 265 00:23:47,759 --> 00:23:49,759 Our time has arrived. 266 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,163 Hold me, my angel! 267 00:23:53,263 --> 00:23:55,166 New orders - 268 00:23:55,966 --> 00:23:58,668 dispose. None left alive. 269 00:24:00,970 --> 00:24:03,540 Sorry - a little glitch, nothing more. 270 00:24:04,340 --> 00:24:07,843 Xev - no-one could ever love you like I do, 271 00:24:08,743 --> 00:24:11,847 and now I finally have the equipment to prove it, 272 00:24:13,047 --> 00:24:16,551 so what in the universe is stopping us? 273 00:24:17,851 --> 00:24:22,388 Hey, I'm travelling to Barnard 17 to close a deal, 274 00:24:22,389 --> 00:24:24,657 and bam! I'm boarded. All the way! 275 00:24:24,958 --> 00:24:27,761 They're gonna do some horrible experiments on me, right? 276 00:24:28,361 --> 00:24:32,666 Look, just find a way to get me outta here, friend, can you, please? 277 00:24:33,466 --> 00:24:36,035 I'll - er - see what I can do. 278 00:25:01,657 --> 00:25:06,341 You weren't lying. You really do have the equipment. 279 00:25:07,362 --> 00:25:09,432 It's all yours. 280 00:25:17,738 --> 00:25:19,540 What's wrong? 281 00:25:20,340 --> 00:25:23,843 I don't know - timing. 282 00:25:23,944 --> 00:25:26,045 We have to help Kai and Lyekka with the prisoners. 283 00:25:26,046 --> 00:25:27,645 Who cares about them? 284 00:25:27,646 --> 00:25:34,631 I do. 790, look - we can pick up this weirdness later. 285 00:25:35,154 --> 00:25:37,456 Now, bitch, now! 286 00:25:38,857 --> 00:25:40,358 Oh, Xev - sorry. 287 00:25:40,859 --> 00:25:42,926 Maybe I should get you off of there for now? 288 00:25:42,927 --> 00:25:45,955 No, please - it's just a little feedback. 289 00:25:45,962 --> 00:25:49,961 I'm certain it's to do with those two cables down my back that I can't reach. 290 00:25:49,962 --> 00:25:54,966 They lead directly into the body's central processor. Will you help me connect them? 291 00:25:55,738 --> 00:25:56,746 Where? 292 00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:58,843 Slide them up through the join. 293 00:26:03,945 --> 00:26:05,948 Back a little - back - to the left - 294 00:26:06,748 --> 00:26:08,851 there! Connect it right there. 295 00:26:17,345 --> 00:26:18,426 Did I get it right? 296 00:26:19,427 --> 00:26:21,727 You got it, treasure chest. 297 00:26:21,728 --> 00:26:24,932 I'm fully online, and ready to - 298 00:26:26,833 --> 00:26:28,936 Bend over, tubby! 299 00:26:38,943 --> 00:26:40,844 Hello again. 300 00:26:40,845 --> 00:26:43,888 Thank you, for rescuing me. 301 00:26:45,149 --> 00:26:47,352 But I haven't rescued you yet. 302 00:26:47,751 --> 00:26:50,421 I know, but still - 303 00:26:51,121 --> 00:26:53,324 Tell me about this planet we crashed on. 304 00:26:54,124 --> 00:26:56,125 How did you get here? 305 00:26:56,126 --> 00:26:57,927 On the Lexx. 306 00:26:58,727 --> 00:27:00,929 What is that? 307 00:27:00,930 --> 00:27:03,932 A large insect. 308 00:27:09,537 --> 00:27:10,840 790, are you there? 309 00:27:11,541 --> 00:27:12,541 Can you hear me? 310 00:27:14,942 --> 00:27:17,444 790? 311 00:27:19,847 --> 00:27:22,417 Are you completely fried? 312 00:27:58,415 --> 00:28:01,017 Xev, come in, come in, are you there? 313 00:28:02,518 --> 00:28:04,020 Xev? 314 00:28:05,421 --> 00:28:06,220 I'm here. 315 00:28:06,221 --> 00:28:08,321 So, listen - what's this about females? 316 00:28:08,322 --> 00:28:09,823 Not now, Stan. 317 00:28:09,824 --> 00:28:14,229 Look, all I wanna know is, how many there are and what they look like. 318 00:28:14,729 --> 00:28:17,531 We don't know how many yet, Kai's still checking. 319 00:28:18,331 --> 00:28:22,036 As for what they look like, I'm sure you would have your own opinion, if you were here - 320 00:28:22,836 --> 00:28:24,837 but you're not. 321 00:28:24,838 --> 00:28:26,538 You're not helping me Xev. 322 00:28:26,539 --> 00:28:30,568 So look, what are they, crash survivors or what? 323 00:28:30,810 --> 00:28:32,612 They're prisoners, kidnap victims. 324 00:28:33,412 --> 00:28:37,015 Oh yeah? So, so, are they grateful to be rescued? 325 00:28:38,516 --> 00:28:41,018 You know, grateful. 326 00:28:41,019 --> 00:28:44,722 Enough questions, Stan. I'm busy, very busy. 327 00:28:47,925 --> 00:28:51,320 790, you silly thing - you really did it this time. 328 00:29:00,420 --> 00:29:01,919 Stan. 329 00:29:08,210 --> 00:29:12,385 Stan, it's Xev. I'm back. 330 00:29:13,514 --> 00:29:17,017 Oh come on, Xev, tell me what's really going on down there. 331 00:29:17,017 --> 00:29:20,108 Non-stop action of the hot and sweaty kind. 332 00:29:20,118 --> 00:29:24,104 What? Oh, you're teasing me, right? 333 00:29:24,224 --> 00:29:28,029 I've just got a full report from Kai. He's discovered an entire harem, 334 00:29:28,117 --> 00:29:31,232 very eager and very attractive - 335 00:29:31,463 --> 00:29:34,297 you should really come down and meet them. They want to meet you. 336 00:29:34,321 --> 00:29:37,601 So, is it completely safe? 337 00:29:37,602 --> 00:29:40,305 If you want to play it that way - but you don't have to. 338 00:29:40,315 --> 00:29:43,408 Anything goes. 339 00:29:44,108 --> 00:29:46,710 Um, well - what about Lyekka, she get something to eat? 340 00:29:47,010 --> 00:29:52,803 Everybody eats here, Stan - and eats, and eats. 341 00:29:53,718 --> 00:29:56,419 So, so they weren't really prisoners after all? 342 00:29:56,519 --> 00:30:01,324 No. You see, it wasn't a distress call we answered 343 00:30:02,124 --> 00:30:04,128 Stan - it was a beacon of desire, 344 00:30:04,230 --> 00:30:06,907 sent by lusty sex starved sirens. 345 00:30:08,181 --> 00:30:16,003 They're aching for it, Stan. Begging for it. They want it hard, and they want it now. 346 00:30:16,105 --> 00:30:18,959 Are you man enough to provide it? 347 00:30:20,708 --> 00:30:26,221 Bye bye Stan. See you soon. 348 00:30:32,918 --> 00:30:35,521 I don't know about this. I really don't know. 349 00:31:26,699 --> 00:31:28,900 Kai? 350 00:31:28,901 --> 00:31:31,403 Xev? 351 00:32:11,105 --> 00:32:12,405 Lyekka. 352 00:32:44,201 --> 00:32:46,203 I like prisoners. 353 00:32:55,478 --> 00:32:56,779 Xev! 354 00:32:57,780 --> 00:32:59,282 Kai! 355 00:33:24,303 --> 00:33:25,604 Kai? 356 00:33:25,805 --> 00:33:27,306 Xev? 357 00:33:27,607 --> 00:33:30,285 Up here, Stanley, we are up here! 358 00:33:41,886 --> 00:33:43,787 Ah, 359 00:33:43,788 --> 00:33:45,789 to the party! 360 00:33:48,391 --> 00:33:50,194 What's happening up there? 361 00:33:50,994 --> 00:33:52,997 Those in the cells beside you just got eaten 362 00:33:53,797 --> 00:33:55,596 By what? 363 00:33:55,597 --> 00:33:57,600 A plant. 364 00:33:58,701 --> 00:34:02,372 Now what? There's one from each end, I didn't know which one is yours. 365 00:34:03,371 --> 00:34:07,776 I'm afraid you'll just have to choose one, and hope it's mine. 366 00:34:19,186 --> 00:34:21,386 Are you just going to stick it in there? 367 00:34:21,387 --> 00:34:24,090 Unless you have a better idea. 368 00:34:47,977 --> 00:34:50,180 Hello?! Hello! Where are you Xev, hello! 369 00:34:51,681 --> 00:34:55,933 Down here, Stan! Down the stairs, come on! 370 00:35:11,065 --> 00:35:13,768 I don't see any party! 371 00:35:19,372 --> 00:35:22,906 Over here Stan. You're gonna love it. 372 00:35:22,976 --> 00:35:25,378 This better be good. 373 00:35:41,092 --> 00:35:42,960 I must be in the wrong place. 374 00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:48,654 Not at all, Stan. You're exactly in the right place, 375 00:35:50,067 --> 00:35:53,370 for what I have in mind. 376 00:36:09,783 --> 00:36:12,386 Oh, yeah. 377 00:36:12,986 --> 00:36:17,056 Thrust it, monkey man - give me some back and forth. 378 00:36:18,658 --> 00:36:21,689 Do it! 379 00:36:22,662 --> 00:36:24,464 I said do it! With feeling! 380 00:36:26,164 --> 00:36:28,167 That's right. Dance. 381 00:36:28,967 --> 00:36:32,471 Shake your lily white ass, buckaroo. 382 00:36:37,274 --> 00:36:39,977 More hips! 383 00:36:40,559 --> 00:36:41,687 Jiggle it! 384 00:36:55,359 --> 00:36:58,362 Yeah baby. Keep it slippery now. 385 00:37:15,776 --> 00:37:18,179 I owe you my life. 386 00:37:25,451 --> 00:37:27,652 Ever kissed a cyborg? 387 00:37:27,653 --> 00:37:29,153 No. 388 00:37:29,154 --> 00:37:30,957 You will. 389 00:37:33,958 --> 00:37:38,462 When I was a man, I had uncontrollable urges. 390 00:37:39,663 --> 00:37:45,187 That's why they made me into a machine. All those urges were supposed to be erased. 391 00:37:46,569 --> 00:37:52,084 But when the prisoners reprogrammed me, the old flame came back. 392 00:37:53,776 --> 00:37:59,146 You're not pretty - but you're my kind of not pretty. 393 00:38:20,166 --> 00:38:22,166 I'll never tell if you don't. 394 00:38:22,167 --> 00:38:24,771 Agreed. Now just let me go. 395 00:38:26,772 --> 00:38:32,573 You're not going anywhere till I deal with the sizzle in my pizzle. 396 00:38:35,346 --> 00:38:37,347 Do something, Tweedle! 397 00:38:37,348 --> 00:38:38,849 Like what?! 398 00:38:38,850 --> 00:38:43,153 I don't know, kill yourself! Anything so that I don't have to go through with this! 399 00:38:43,253 --> 00:38:44,754 What about me? 400 00:38:44,755 --> 00:38:47,858 Enough! I'm in control here. 401 00:38:49,759 --> 00:38:55,110 Tweedle - I can't fight him. Run while you can. Save Xev! Go! 402 00:39:00,268 --> 00:39:08,457 I can smell your funk, Stanley - and I'm coming to bury my face in it! 403 00:39:14,048 --> 00:39:17,450 Stanley. Stanley - 404 00:39:18,251 --> 00:39:23,176 the head is mine. All heads are mine! 405 00:39:24,056 --> 00:39:26,959 So get ready to buckaroo. 406 00:39:35,166 --> 00:39:36,333 What's wrong? 407 00:39:36,349 --> 00:39:37,834 That's meant for me - 408 00:39:37,835 --> 00:39:39,738 not you! 409 00:39:42,138 --> 00:39:46,643 Attention, attention - the prisoner containment area has been breached. 410 00:39:46,743 --> 00:39:49,244 Ñèñòåìà áåçîïàñíîñòè âêëþ÷åíà. 411 00:39:49,245 --> 00:39:53,403 Attention, attention - security default activated. 412 00:39:56,051 --> 00:39:58,054 I have no feelings. 413 00:39:58,754 --> 00:40:01,056 I am the perfect warrior. 414 00:40:02,156 --> 00:40:05,160 I kill to live, and I live to kill. 415 00:40:06,361 --> 00:40:09,130 I was on my way to trial and execution, 416 00:40:09,250 --> 00:40:13,134 which is why I triggered the security system when I came through the door. 417 00:40:13,934 --> 00:40:18,738 It was me who arranged for the cyborg pilot to be reprogrammed to kill the crew. 418 00:40:20,339 --> 00:40:23,243 Of course, he wasn't supposed to crash the ship - 419 00:40:24,043 --> 00:40:26,345 but that's all behind me. 420 00:40:26,622 --> 00:40:30,549 Thank you for your assistance. Now die! 421 00:40:34,152 --> 00:40:38,755 Attention, attention - prisoner containment is the mission priority. 422 00:40:38,857 --> 00:40:41,762 This prisoner transport will self destruct in 10 minutes, 423 00:40:41,842 --> 00:40:44,735 as there has been a breach of the prisoner containment area. 424 00:40:49,140 --> 00:40:55,668 I repeat - this prisoner transport will self destruct in 9 minutes and 52 seconds. 425 00:40:55,740 --> 00:41:02,028 I repeat - this prisoner transport will self destruct in 9 minutes and 5 seconds. 426 00:41:20,027 --> 00:41:26,231 Attention, attention - this prisoner transport will self destruct in 8 minutes and 10 seconds. 427 00:41:43,647 --> 00:41:49,118 7 minutes and 40 seconds. 428 00:42:09,236 --> 00:42:12,140 Kill to live - live to kill. 429 00:42:20,146 --> 00:42:22,113 Hello. 430 00:42:22,114 --> 00:42:24,317 How are you today? 431 00:42:27,919 --> 00:42:30,922 This will be very pleasant for you. 432 00:42:32,523 --> 00:42:35,727 - will self destruct in 3 minutes and 10 seconds. 433 00:42:53,842 --> 00:42:56,713 You're mine, concubine. 434 00:43:12,926 --> 00:43:16,629 Warning, warning - all personnel must now be evacuated,. 435 00:43:16,829 --> 00:43:18,632 as self destruction is imminent. 436 00:43:19,032 --> 00:43:22,135 Warning, warning - all personnel must now be evacuated, 437 00:43:22,935 --> 00:43:25,437 as self destruction is imminent. 438 00:43:42,819 --> 00:43:45,123 Who's laughing now, robot?! 439 00:44:16,816 --> 00:44:19,317 One - spread. 440 00:44:19,318 --> 00:44:22,121 Two - you're dead. 441 00:44:22,321 --> 00:44:24,822 But the ship's gonna blow up, we'll both die! 442 00:44:24,823 --> 00:44:27,526 Warning, warning - explosive charges are now armed. 443 00:44:28,326 --> 00:44:30,229 Self destruct in 2 minutes. 444 00:44:31,029 --> 00:44:33,532 Just enough time for a quickie. 445 00:44:34,332 --> 00:44:36,299 Stanley Tweedle - 446 00:44:36,300 --> 00:44:43,042 I have to say in all candour that without the slightest micro-iota of inestimable doubt 447 00:44:43,115 --> 00:44:46,342 in the entirety of the two universes - this is the very definition of misery. 448 00:44:46,344 --> 00:44:48,411 Just stop, please! 449 00:44:49,412 --> 00:44:51,615 Not his show, bitch - 450 00:44:52,415 --> 00:44:54,216 it's mine! 451 00:45:01,922 --> 00:45:03,925 Don't get up, Stanley. 452 00:45:27,412 --> 00:45:29,813 I can see that you two may require some time alone, 453 00:45:29,814 --> 00:45:32,015 but we have to leave - now. 454 00:45:32,016 --> 00:45:33,516 Fine. 455 00:45:33,517 --> 00:45:36,220 Let's go. 456 00:45:40,624 --> 00:45:44,494 Warning, warning - explosive charges are now armed. 457 00:45:44,498 --> 00:45:47,196 Self destruct in 1 minute. 458 00:46:19,392 --> 00:46:24,696 I am totally, completely, and utterly humiliated. 459 00:46:25,597 --> 00:46:27,698 That's OK, forget it. 460 00:46:27,699 --> 00:46:30,901 You must understand that my intentions were entirely honourable - 461 00:46:31,302 --> 00:46:33,503 if I had any idea the cyborg - 462 00:46:33,504 --> 00:46:35,705 I said forget it. 463 00:46:35,706 --> 00:46:37,508 You may still only be a head, 790 - 464 00:46:38,309 --> 00:46:40,911 but you're the best head I ever had.