1
00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:35,993
City by the mighty dirty river

2
00:00:36,830 --> 00:00:42,039
City by the greasy rolling sea

3
00:00:42,712 --> 00:00:45,547
I crawl so small

4
00:00:46,132 --> 00:00:50,343
And it stands so tall

5
00:00:50,929 --> 00:00:54,677
And it all belongs

6
00:00:55,057 --> 00:00:57,762
To me

7
00:01:00,479 --> 00:01:02,851
Welcome to Joe's apartment

8
00:01:02,940 --> 00:01:05,691
It's our apartment, too

9
00:01:05,776 --> 00:01:08,148
We've been around
for a hundred million years

10
00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:10,693
And we'll be here long after you

11
00:01:13,367 --> 00:01:15,989
Let's go to our place
It's a great big space

12
00:01:16,079 --> 00:01:18,748
It's where I wanna be

13
00:01:18,831 --> 00:01:21,618
Where friends all meet
And life is sweet

14
00:01:21,709 --> 00:01:24,036
'Cause everything's for free

15
00:01:24,130 --> 00:01:26,881
It's the joint, it's a gas

16
00:01:26,966 --> 00:01:29,455
It's a big fat boot in the ass

17
00:01:29,926 --> 00:01:32,677
Let's toast! Raise your glass

18
00:01:32,762 --> 00:01:38,882
Here's to Joe! A man with class

19
00:01:39,226 --> 00:01:43,141
So! Hello from Joe's apartment

20
00:01:43,230 --> 00:01:46,148
You're gonna love the view

21
00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:49,106
It's a nest that beats the rest

22
00:01:49,195 --> 00:01:52,065
We're so glad that you're our guest

23
00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:55,608
Come on in, we're all undressed

24
00:01:55,868 --> 00:02:02,120
Joe's apartment, we welcome you!

25
00:02:03,877 --> 00:02:05,370
Nice singing!

26
00:02:06,963 --> 00:02:08,540
The movie's starting.

27
00:02:36,033 --> 00:02:39,199
Dear Mom,
I made it to New York safe and sound.

28
00:02:39,286 --> 00:02:41,030
Hands up, pinhead!

29
00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:59,927
Dear Mom, I made it to New York.

30
00:03:00,016 --> 00:03:01,760
Hands up, pinhead!

31
00:03:11,069 --> 00:03:12,100
Dear Mom--

32
00:03:12,195 --> 00:03:13,938
Hands up, pinhead!

33
00:03:14,155 --> 00:03:15,186
Please send money.

34
00:03:35,593 --> 00:03:38,797
Don 't worry, Mom, I'll pay you back soon.
I'm bound to get a job.

35
00:03:38,889 --> 00:03:40,882
I'm a college graduate.

36
00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:46,725
But first things first.
I got to get an apartment.

37
00:03:46,854 --> 00:03:49,144
I hope I can get one really cheap.

38
00:03:49,357 --> 00:03:51,350
$1,500 a month?

39
00:03:52,068 --> 00:03:54,393
There's a hole in the ceiling.

40
00:03:54,779 --> 00:03:56,737
It's a private atrium.

41
00:04:00,494 --> 00:04:03,945
$1,100 a month for 300 square feet.

42
00:04:04,206 --> 00:04:06,079
That's a sweet deal.

43
00:04:07,458 --> 00:04:08,572
No vacancy.

44
00:04:08,667 --> 00:04:09,912
$1,500 a month.

45
00:04:10,002 --> 00:04:11,913
Nothing for that price range.

46
00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:14,375
Try Nebraska.

47
00:04:33,569 --> 00:04:36,320
Oh, my God, mister. Are you all right?

48
00:04:41,284 --> 00:04:45,661
Two days, seven hours,
twenty-three minutes and four seconds.

49
00:04:46,748 --> 00:04:49,120
That's how long I've been lying here.

50
00:04:50,752 --> 00:04:52,245
Are you okay?

51
00:04:53,963 --> 00:04:56,917
Of course not. I'm an artist.

52
00:05:01,805 --> 00:05:05,388
I wanted to express how cold,
how pitiless this city really is.

53
00:05:05,475 --> 00:05:07,514
Nobody touched you for two days?

54
00:05:07,602 --> 00:05:09,310
Spitting doesn't count.

55
00:05:11,023 --> 00:05:13,312
You must be from out of town.

56
00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:14,723
Yeah.

57
00:05:15,735 --> 00:05:16,934
Iowa.

58
00:05:18,196 --> 00:05:20,604
-What's your name?
-Joe.

59
00:05:20,866 --> 00:05:22,692
Walter. Walter Shit.

60
00:05:23,660 --> 00:05:25,118
Walter Shit?

61
00:05:25,787 --> 00:05:26,783
Yeah.

62
00:05:27,873 --> 00:05:29,035
Yeah.

63
00:05:32,002 --> 00:05:33,829
Looking for a place?

64
00:05:34,087 --> 00:05:35,997
Something for $100 a month.

65
00:05:39,217 --> 00:05:44,093
Hey, junior here thinks he's going to find
his own rent-controlled apartment!

66
00:05:49,603 --> 00:05:51,476
Rent-controlled apartment?

67
00:05:51,563 --> 00:05:52,678
Yeah.

68
00:05:52,773 --> 00:05:56,641
A place where the rent's been frozen
since the 1950s.

69
00:05:57,070 --> 00:05:59,904
Those places are hard to find
because no one ever leaves them.

70
00:05:59,988 --> 00:06:03,322
Not unless the landlord gives them
a little help.

71
00:06:55,085 --> 00:06:57,124
I love the real estate business.

72
00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,352
They're tougher than they look.

73
00:07:13,437 --> 00:07:17,102
See? There's really no way
to get a rent-controlled apartment.

74
00:07:17,191 --> 00:07:18,353
No way at all?

75
00:07:18,441 --> 00:07:21,396
I mean, only if
it's your mom's apartment...

76
00:07:21,487 --> 00:07:22,945
and she croaks.

77
00:07:23,405 --> 00:07:25,398
How you doing, Mrs. Grotowski?

78
00:07:29,995 --> 00:07:31,406
Oh, my God!

79
00:07:34,458 --> 00:07:38,206
Joe, Mrs. Grotowski doesn't have
any family.

80
00:07:38,754 --> 00:07:41,624
You pose as her son, take her apartment.

81
00:07:41,924 --> 00:07:43,039
What?

82
00:07:43,467 --> 00:07:45,210
I couldn't!

83
00:07:47,346 --> 00:07:49,089
Oh, my God!

84
00:07:49,431 --> 00:07:50,546
Joe!

85
00:07:52,267 --> 00:07:54,259
It's your mother!

86
00:07:55,853 --> 00:07:58,180
And she's dead!

87
00:08:01,861 --> 00:08:03,023
Thank you.

88
00:08:08,910 --> 00:08:10,487
My first place!

89
00:08:24,299 --> 00:08:25,462
Quiet!

90
00:08:25,551 --> 00:08:27,295
Got to hide! Got to hide!

91
00:08:27,387 --> 00:08:30,304
-Never seen him around before.
-Where's the old lady?

92
00:08:30,389 --> 00:08:33,224
-Luggage! I don't like it!
-Stay undercover.

93
00:08:33,309 --> 00:08:34,887
Right, another stupid human.

94
00:08:34,977 --> 00:08:36,934
-Shut up!
-Can it, both of you.

95
00:08:43,861 --> 00:08:45,142
Oh, no!

96
00:08:48,074 --> 00:08:49,947
Yummy, yummy!

97
00:08:56,958 --> 00:08:59,663
Damn. Ralph's out there. Poor sucker.

98
00:09:08,218 --> 00:09:12,216
This is the greasiest,
ugliest bug I've ever seen in my life.

99
00:09:19,396 --> 00:09:21,722
-Look at that.
-Our kind of guy.

100
00:09:21,816 --> 00:09:23,807
He likes good living. That's for sure.

101
00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:26,225
-He's not so bad.
-He's got potential.

102
00:09:27,530 --> 00:09:30,649
Did you hear that? "Greasy."
Nice compliment.

103
00:09:31,033 --> 00:09:32,860
I thought you was smushed for sure.

104
00:09:32,952 --> 00:09:34,280
Who's out there?

105
00:09:34,370 --> 00:09:36,659
Schlomo and Pauli, who else?

106
00:09:37,206 --> 00:09:40,824
-Schlomo, I quit drinking.
-Me, too, Pauli.

107
00:09:40,918 --> 00:09:44,833
Ever since I joined this health club.
It's a great lap pool.

108
00:09:45,590 --> 00:09:47,167
Diver down.

109
00:09:48,092 --> 00:09:49,717
We're gonna get drunk.

110
00:09:49,802 --> 00:09:53,503
Hold on. He's having a taste
of Old Hound Dog instead.

111
00:09:53,598 --> 00:09:55,424
I'll drink to that.

112
00:10:11,197 --> 00:10:15,030
I can't tell you how happy I am
to be finally out on my own, Mom.

113
00:10:15,203 --> 00:10:17,030
No, no thanks, Mom.

114
00:10:17,122 --> 00:10:20,325
I can find a job by myself.
Look how easy I got a place.

115
00:10:21,584 --> 00:10:22,912
Yes, Mom.

116
00:10:23,127 --> 00:10:26,212
No, Mom. Right, Mom. Good, Mom.

117
00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:29,295
Isn't his mom supposed to be dead?

118
00:10:30,970 --> 00:10:32,343
Landlord!

119
00:10:41,229 --> 00:10:43,980
I hope everything's going fine
up in heaven, Mom.

120
00:10:44,065 --> 00:10:46,638
Pray to you later. Amen!

121
00:10:46,734 --> 00:10:49,023
Joe, who are you talking to?

122
00:10:54,157 --> 00:10:55,782
Who the hell are you?

123
00:10:56,577 --> 00:10:58,700
Joe Grotowski.

124
00:10:59,455 --> 00:11:01,613
Joe F. Grotowski.

125
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:04,160
Vladimir Bianco.

126
00:11:04,752 --> 00:11:06,460
My cousin, Jesus.

127
00:11:07,422 --> 00:11:09,379
Vlad and Jesus Bianco?

128
00:11:09,882 --> 00:11:11,543
You are related?

129
00:11:12,009 --> 00:11:14,299
Speaking of relations,
I knew your old lady...

130
00:11:14,388 --> 00:11:17,056
and she never talked you up! Not once!

131
00:11:17,140 --> 00:11:19,891
-I've been away at college.
-ls that so?

132
00:11:19,976 --> 00:11:22,598
Well, $50 rent, college boy.

133
00:11:22,854 --> 00:11:25,012
-Cash!
-Now!

134
00:11:29,235 --> 00:11:31,311
Sorry about your moms, man.

135
00:11:31,404 --> 00:11:34,191
But maybe you won't be missing her long.

136
00:11:35,450 --> 00:11:36,778
Amen.

137
00:11:46,878 --> 00:11:50,081
Dear Mom, thanks for another loan.

138
00:11:50,715 --> 00:11:52,541
I haven 't found a job yet...

139
00:11:52,633 --> 00:11:55,255
but I'm on the lookout for something good.

140
00:12:38,430 --> 00:12:40,552
Thank you for calling 91 1.

141
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:44,259
Your call is important to us.
Please stay on the line.

142
00:12:44,478 --> 00:12:48,309
Your local police precinct
will be with you shortly.

143
00:12:55,530 --> 00:12:57,654
Central Complaint Department,
please hold.

144
00:12:57,741 --> 00:12:59,864
I don't know. Please hold.

145
00:13:00,827 --> 00:13:03,033
I can't help you. Please hold.

146
00:13:03,121 --> 00:13:05,659
Like, who cares, man? Please hold.

147
00:13:05,790 --> 00:13:09,573
Alligators in the subway.
Interesting, ma'am. Please hold.

148
00:13:11,128 --> 00:13:15,341
No, sir. Don't try to saw it off yourself.
Please hold.

149
00:13:19,054 --> 00:13:23,347
-Central Complaint Department.
-I'm calling from 324 1/2 East 8th Street.

150
00:13:24,184 --> 00:13:27,718
No water, no heat, no power.

151
00:13:28,313 --> 00:13:30,887
Roof leaking, drug dealing.

152
00:13:30,983 --> 00:13:33,308
People falling out of windows?

153
00:13:34,569 --> 00:13:38,152
Congratulations, sir.
This is the worst call I've had all day!

154
00:13:38,239 --> 00:13:39,319
Really?

155
00:13:44,705 --> 00:13:46,661
Coffee break!

156
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:49,994
Please hold.

157
00:13:51,795 --> 00:13:52,993
Hello?

158
00:14:06,936 --> 00:14:08,346
Lily, what's up?

159
00:14:08,436 --> 00:14:10,264
Oh, Blank. Hey.

160
00:14:11,356 --> 00:14:14,856
This garden of yours
is really coming along.

161
00:14:14,985 --> 00:14:18,353
-Quite a change from the old air shaft.
-Oh, yeah.

162
00:14:18,863 --> 00:14:21,781
It's such a relief after all those calls.

163
00:14:25,204 --> 00:14:26,828
It ain't bad now.

164
00:14:26,913 --> 00:14:29,534
Wait till there's a riot or a fire!

165
00:14:30,459 --> 00:14:31,918
Serious O.T.

166
00:14:32,044 --> 00:14:36,089
I wish we could do something
other than put people on hold.

167
00:14:36,756 --> 00:14:40,171
What are you doing
in this dead-end city department anyway?

168
00:14:40,259 --> 00:14:42,299
Child, go work for your dad.

169
00:14:42,386 --> 00:14:44,843
The man's a U.S. senator.

170
00:14:45,390 --> 00:14:48,640
Wear a nice dress, sit next to his podium.

171
00:14:48,810 --> 00:14:52,144
You could get into politics, easy.

172
00:15:07,871 --> 00:15:10,243
-Mr. Bianco.
-Check it out.

173
00:15:10,332 --> 00:15:13,083
Please, Senator, just call me Alberto.

174
00:15:13,168 --> 00:15:15,790
Have you brought me good news, Alberto?

175
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:19,794
My second to the last tenant
has just taken flight, Senator.

176
00:15:20,134 --> 00:15:22,292
We two saw her off personally.

177
00:15:22,386 --> 00:15:25,635
Wonderful. She'll love the condo
you bought her.

178
00:15:25,888 --> 00:15:28,509
Nothing is too good for my tenants.

179
00:15:28,849 --> 00:15:30,559
And how about your last tenant?

180
00:15:30,644 --> 00:15:33,016
We made his final arrangements.

181
00:15:34,315 --> 00:15:36,556
And soon the building will be yours.

182
00:15:36,859 --> 00:15:40,726
The U.S. government will have
acquired the last property we need...

183
00:15:41,781 --> 00:15:43,358
for the brand new...

184
00:15:44,367 --> 00:15:45,566
Manhattan...

185
00:15:46,577 --> 00:15:48,368
maximum security...

186
00:15:48,454 --> 00:15:50,245
federal penitentiary.

187
00:15:52,625 --> 00:15:55,032
The biggest prison in the world.

188
00:15:57,421 --> 00:16:00,043
Whatever happened
to the Lower East Side?

189
00:16:00,632 --> 00:16:02,590
How did it decay so badly...

190
00:16:03,177 --> 00:16:06,131
that the only thing
that'll sprout in its soil...

191
00:16:06,222 --> 00:16:07,301
is a jail?

192
00:16:07,390 --> 00:16:09,715
We can't take all the credit for that.

193
00:16:09,808 --> 00:16:12,013
But we're glad we could help.

194
00:16:22,612 --> 00:16:24,653
Oh, look at those kids.

195
00:16:24,990 --> 00:16:27,446
They could get hurt,
playing in this empty lot.

196
00:16:27,534 --> 00:16:30,453
I used to get plenty of cuts
and scratches...

197
00:16:30,538 --> 00:16:33,030
but that's all there is around here.

198
00:16:34,833 --> 00:16:36,162
Hi, guys.

199
00:16:36,669 --> 00:16:38,163
What are you making?

200
00:16:38,253 --> 00:16:39,748
A crack house.

201
00:16:42,341 --> 00:16:43,800
Oh, my God.

202
00:16:44,468 --> 00:16:45,843
This is awful.

203
00:16:45,928 --> 00:16:49,261
This should be a public garden,
with safe places for kids to play...

204
00:16:49,348 --> 00:16:50,807
with flowers and trees.

205
00:16:50,892 --> 00:16:54,343
Lily, this ain't no cute little
building atrium.

206
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:57,010
This is the nastiest neighborhood
in New York City.

207
00:16:57,856 --> 00:16:59,397
Come on, girl.

208
00:17:38,231 --> 00:17:40,519
-Conference.
-What's up, Ralph?

209
00:17:40,608 --> 00:17:44,937
This new guy, Joe. He don't wash,
clean, vacuum. He don't give a crap.

210
00:17:45,029 --> 00:17:47,780
He's the dirtiest slob on the planet.

211
00:17:48,491 --> 00:17:50,530
I think I'm in love.

212
00:17:50,951 --> 00:17:52,861
-Me, too, Ralph.
-I vote we keep him.

213
00:17:52,954 --> 00:17:54,578
We got to break him in, that's all.

214
00:17:57,958 --> 00:17:59,417
Oh, my gosh!

215
00:18:10,263 --> 00:18:13,466
Looks like the landlord
wants to change Joe's lease.

216
00:18:13,557 --> 00:18:15,266
They aren't doing no paint job.

217
00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:21,470
Let's not kid ourselves.
If Joe gets greased, we're next.

218
00:18:21,566 --> 00:18:25,564
I won't stand for it!
Let's teach them toe-heads some respect!

219
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:29,230
Roaches to the rescue!

220
00:18:29,656 --> 00:18:32,195
I love the smell of this old couch.

221
00:18:32,285 --> 00:18:34,491
-Double time! Double time!
-Hang on!

222
00:18:34,578 --> 00:18:37,152
Hurry! These goons will bust Joe's skull!

223
00:18:37,498 --> 00:18:38,577
He knows it, too.

224
00:18:38,666 --> 00:18:40,873
-Feel him shaking?
-Spring is in the air.

225
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,368
-Stay cool, Joe.
-Take it easy, Joe.

226
00:18:43,463 --> 00:18:46,001
Don't worry, Joe. We got your back.

227
00:18:46,091 --> 00:18:47,171
Who....

228
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:52,677
Where is he?

229
00:19:10,698 --> 00:19:13,782
-Troops! Antennas up!
-Sir, yes, sir!

230
00:19:14,743 --> 00:19:16,369
Bombs away!

231
00:19:18,330 --> 00:19:20,205
Give me a kiss, asshole.

232
00:19:21,458 --> 00:19:23,119
God, they talk?

233
00:19:23,419 --> 00:19:26,669
That's right!
I'm about to kick your ass, too!

234
00:19:27,173 --> 00:19:28,833
Disgusting little....

235
00:19:29,091 --> 00:19:32,128
Your mama's cooking sucks!
I wouldn't even touch it.

236
00:19:40,353 --> 00:19:42,679
I think he got me! He got me!

237
00:19:42,814 --> 00:19:46,017
I'm heading up to that big Dumpster
in the sky.

238
00:19:46,568 --> 00:19:48,145
You missed!

239
00:19:58,453 --> 00:20:00,612
Over here, fruitcake.

240
00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:04,245
Let's go!

241
00:20:06,796 --> 00:20:08,872
It's a roach clip. Get it?

242
00:20:13,511 --> 00:20:15,469
Now you're in trouble!

243
00:20:17,182 --> 00:20:19,425
Ought to stomp your freaking head!

244
00:20:25,398 --> 00:20:28,067
Slip on something more comfortable.

245
00:20:30,112 --> 00:20:33,694
Hiya, Hansel and Gretel,
lay off our buddy Joe.

246
00:20:34,949 --> 00:20:37,985
-Okay. Just let us go, please!
-Are you listening?

247
00:20:38,077 --> 00:20:41,695
Because if you ain't, you'll get a roach
in every meal you'll ever have...

248
00:20:41,789 --> 00:20:43,828
for the rest of your freaking life!

249
00:20:43,916 --> 00:20:45,742
-You got that?
-Yeah!

250
00:20:45,834 --> 00:20:47,543
We know where you live!

251
00:20:47,879 --> 00:20:50,085
We live where you live.

252
00:21:00,850 --> 00:21:02,560
-What a fall!
-Leaving so soon?

253
00:21:02,645 --> 00:21:04,969
-The party's just started!
-See you.

254
00:21:05,063 --> 00:21:06,557
Hate to be you!

255
00:21:13,029 --> 00:21:15,187
-A spare!
-You was robbed!

256
00:21:16,408 --> 00:21:19,942
You was great, Ralphie.
What a couple of pansies.

257
00:21:20,036 --> 00:21:22,075
Joe, are you all right?

258
00:21:23,665 --> 00:21:24,780
Get back!

259
00:21:24,875 --> 00:21:26,368
-Joe.
-Buddy!

260
00:21:26,459 --> 00:21:30,326
-That ain't no way to treat your friends.
-My friends?

261
00:21:30,421 --> 00:21:35,167
Sure! We like the way you run things here,
so we wanted to keep you around.

262
00:21:37,428 --> 00:21:38,923
You can talk.

263
00:21:39,097 --> 00:21:41,635
Talk? We can sing!

264
00:21:44,018 --> 00:21:45,762
Garbage

265
00:21:45,854 --> 00:21:48,559
Garbage

266
00:21:48,691 --> 00:21:51,856
Garbage

267
00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:53,523
Sorry.

268
00:21:54,071 --> 00:21:56,740
The garbage in the moonlight

269
00:21:56,823 --> 00:21:59,943
Gives off a lovely smell

270
00:22:00,076 --> 00:22:02,614
Sipping sewage with my baby

271
00:22:02,704 --> 00:22:05,278
In our little roach motel

272
00:22:05,374 --> 00:22:09,073
Please, don 't tell

273
00:22:20,930 --> 00:22:25,509
On an ocean trip on a garbage ship
With a cockroach I adore

274
00:22:25,602 --> 00:22:30,478
We 'll take a taste of the medical waste
That washes up on shore

275
00:22:30,566 --> 00:22:33,022
Oh, sweetheart, say you love me

276
00:22:33,111 --> 00:22:35,861
And crawl underneath my rug

277
00:22:35,946 --> 00:22:39,564
You're one in a thousand billion, baby

278
00:22:39,658 --> 00:22:44,284
Oh, won 't you be my bug?

279
00:22:44,413 --> 00:22:47,283
Oh, won 't you be my bug?

280
00:22:47,374 --> 00:22:52,120
Please, be my bug

281
00:23:10,814 --> 00:23:12,723
God, what a nightmare.

282
00:23:34,254 --> 00:23:36,331
I'm up. I'm up already.

283
00:23:56,985 --> 00:23:59,986
-What's that?
-I'm trying to get some shuteye here.

284
00:24:00,447 --> 00:24:02,654
Morning. My name's Ralph Roach.

285
00:24:02,742 --> 00:24:04,534
This is my associate, Rodney Roach.

286
00:24:04,619 --> 00:24:06,242
What's happening, Joe?

287
00:24:07,496 --> 00:24:09,536
Another hot and muggy, Joe?

288
00:24:09,664 --> 00:24:12,832
-What are you doing on my breakfast?
-Little nosh, that's all.

289
00:24:12,918 --> 00:24:15,409
-How's it hanging today?
-Word up.

290
00:24:16,255 --> 00:24:18,294
How do you like the Knicks?

291
00:24:18,465 --> 00:24:19,924
How many of you are there?

292
00:24:20,009 --> 00:24:24,054
This apartment? Not a lot.
About 20,000, 30,000, 40,000.

293
00:24:24,179 --> 00:24:26,053
Mostly family, you know.

294
00:24:26,140 --> 00:24:27,765
-And you can talk?
-Sure.

295
00:24:27,849 --> 00:24:30,636
We just don't talk much.
Not to people, anyhow.

296
00:24:30,727 --> 00:24:33,978
No point. People smush first,
and ask questions later.

297
00:24:34,064 --> 00:24:36,472
But not you, brother. You're different.

298
00:24:36,817 --> 00:24:38,276
Oh, yeah?

299
00:24:46,868 --> 00:24:48,281
Joe, Joe!

300
00:24:48,371 --> 00:24:51,537
Let's be friends.
We just saved your life, remember?

301
00:24:51,623 --> 00:24:52,869
Besides, Joe...

302
00:24:52,959 --> 00:24:56,659
if those two friends of yours come back,
we might come in useful.

303
00:24:56,754 --> 00:25:00,088
So, how about
a live-and-let-live philosophy here?

304
00:25:01,174 --> 00:25:03,298
"Slobs of a feather swarm together."

305
00:25:03,386 --> 00:25:05,212
-Makes sense to me.
-That's fair.

306
00:25:05,304 --> 00:25:07,096
-What's yours is ours.
-Stereo rights?

307
00:25:07,181 --> 00:25:09,054
Just warn us before you flush.

308
00:25:09,141 --> 00:25:10,885
I got to get out of here.

309
00:25:13,145 --> 00:25:15,895
-Where are you going?
-None of your business.

310
00:25:15,980 --> 00:25:18,899
-Mind if we hang out with you?
-Yes!

311
00:25:19,735 --> 00:25:21,527
-Come on!
-Don't be that way, Joey!

312
00:25:21,612 --> 00:25:22,726
Can't we? Please?

313
00:25:22,821 --> 00:25:25,277
-You won't even notice us.
-We'll be good.

314
00:25:25,366 --> 00:25:26,563
What's up his butt?

315
00:25:26,658 --> 00:25:30,988
We ought to keep an eye on him,
in case he needs our help.

316
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,832
-Right as usual, Ralph.
-Excellent idea, Ralph.

317
00:26:01,025 --> 00:26:02,306
Ritardo's!

318
00:26:03,737 --> 00:26:06,146
Come on in. The cheese is fine.

319
00:26:07,157 --> 00:26:08,652
You're fired!

320
00:26:09,368 --> 00:26:11,776
Here are your enlargements, sir.

321
00:26:15,124 --> 00:26:16,535
You're fired!

322
00:26:17,334 --> 00:26:18,414
You're fired!

323
00:26:20,297 --> 00:26:22,169
-You're fired!
-You're fired!

324
00:26:26,385 --> 00:26:29,006
Poor Joe. Having trouble keeping a job.

325
00:26:29,138 --> 00:26:30,763
We're doing our best to help.

326
00:26:30,848 --> 00:26:32,887
Guess we got to keep on trying.

327
00:26:34,435 --> 00:26:37,934
-Love this guy! Breakfast?
-Don't mind if I do.

328
00:26:41,943 --> 00:26:45,108
-Don't panic or nothing.
-What do you mean?

329
00:26:45,195 --> 00:26:47,187
Well, it appears to me...

330
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:51,231
that one of our most dreaded
natural enemies somehow got in!

331
00:26:51,827 --> 00:26:52,907
Oh, my God!

332
00:26:52,996 --> 00:26:55,403
Joe, wake up! A cat!

333
00:26:58,876 --> 00:27:00,750
Don't let it get me!

334
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:08,751
How's everybody doing tonight?

335
00:27:11,180 --> 00:27:13,173
Thank you! Good-looking crowd.

336
00:27:13,683 --> 00:27:15,640
Anybody here from New Jersey?

337
00:27:16,143 --> 00:27:17,519
What exit?

338
00:27:18,020 --> 00:27:19,266
He's dying out there.

339
00:27:19,356 --> 00:27:22,142
Some pretty cool cats from there:
Sinatra, Bruce.

340
00:27:22,233 --> 00:27:24,439
Say, nice set of whiskers, sir.

341
00:27:25,361 --> 00:27:27,519
Poor Ralphie. I can't look!

342
00:27:31,282 --> 00:27:33,442
It's Cousin Tiny from Texas!

343
00:27:33,536 --> 00:27:36,241
Howdy, cousins! Just buzzing through!

344
00:27:36,331 --> 00:27:39,248
Let's have ourselves a little rodeo!

345
00:27:49,136 --> 00:27:51,093
It's chicken-pickin ', finger-lickin ' good

346
00:27:51,180 --> 00:27:52,922
I got my honey in a sunny neighborhood

347
00:27:53,013 --> 00:27:54,971
It's a wrassling, hassling, dazzling show

348
00:27:55,058 --> 00:27:58,593
Grab a lady and do-si-do
A little bitty kitty-cat rodeo

349
00:28:14,827 --> 00:28:16,534
Scrape it, Clyde!

350
00:28:17,621 --> 00:28:20,327
Now you ought to bring your daughter
'cause it's hotter

351
00:28:20,417 --> 00:28:22,872
When he's shaking and a-baking
and breaking it in

352
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:25,332
He's a-gripping, he's a-slipping

353
00:28:25,796 --> 00:28:29,130
Come on, mister, bring your sister
Bring her to the rodeo

354
00:28:30,885 --> 00:28:32,166
Go, Joe!

355
00:28:32,262 --> 00:28:34,255
-Go, Joe!
-Attaboy, Joe!

356
00:28:35,516 --> 00:28:39,430
-Look at those claws digging into his face!
-That's got to hurt!

357
00:28:42,606 --> 00:28:44,681
Good arm, Joe! Good arm!

358
00:28:49,946 --> 00:28:51,985
You saved my life!

359
00:28:52,365 --> 00:28:56,315
No human being has ever saved the life
of a cockroach.

360
00:28:58,204 --> 00:29:02,117
This is a breakthrough
in "interspecio" diplomacy!

361
00:29:02,791 --> 00:29:05,995
Yeah? Well, stop following me
to work already!

362
00:29:06,087 --> 00:29:08,495
-For God's sake!
-You got it, Joe.

363
00:29:08,590 --> 00:29:10,499
-Forget about it.
-Don't worry.

364
00:29:10,592 --> 00:29:12,549
We don't follow you to work no more.

365
00:29:12,635 --> 00:29:15,043
Yeah, right. I've heard that before.

366
00:29:16,305 --> 00:29:19,641
Give me a "J"! Give me an "O"! An "E"!

367
00:29:19,727 --> 00:29:21,766
-What's that spell?
-Joe!

368
00:29:22,021 --> 00:29:24,226
-What's that spell?
-Joe!

369
00:29:24,856 --> 00:29:29,103
Dear Mom, the job situation
has been a little tricky.

370
00:29:29,736 --> 00:29:32,856
But I know I'm going to land
something soon.

371
00:29:38,745 --> 00:29:40,287
Congratulate me.

372
00:29:40,372 --> 00:29:42,993
This is the first of my works to use paint!

373
00:29:43,833 --> 00:29:46,619
I call this piece lnstant Minority.

374
00:29:47,336 --> 00:29:48,961
I did the whole block.

375
00:29:49,547 --> 00:29:52,299
But people are black or white or brown.

376
00:29:52,384 --> 00:29:54,043
Nobody's purple!

377
00:29:56,179 --> 00:29:57,638
Periwinkle!

378
00:29:57,806 --> 00:30:00,759
You're now the world's smallest minority.

379
00:30:00,850 --> 00:30:03,603
How am I supposed to get a job
looking like this?

380
00:30:03,686 --> 00:30:05,479
-You know how to play drums?
-No.

381
00:30:05,564 --> 00:30:07,225
Perfect! You want a job?

382
00:30:11,110 --> 00:30:16,022
I'm doing a musical performance.
You can sit in for my drummer. He's dead.

383
00:30:16,157 --> 00:30:17,569
Well, sure.

384
00:30:17,659 --> 00:30:19,402
What? He's dead?

385
00:30:19,494 --> 00:30:21,321
Actually, it's a very funny story.

386
00:30:21,413 --> 00:30:25,162
There's a crack dealer in our building
and my drummer called him--

387
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:31,502
Slit his throat so badly that his own mom
couldn't identify him at the morgue.

388
00:30:32,423 --> 00:30:34,000
I'll miss that guy.

389
00:30:34,091 --> 00:30:35,634
Is it a deal?

390
00:30:37,011 --> 00:30:39,799
Excellent. Here. You can put these up.

391
00:30:41,307 --> 00:30:44,225
That's a cool name for a band.

392
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:00,363
Shit.

393
00:31:04,039 --> 00:31:05,498
-Hi.
-Hi.

394
00:31:05,873 --> 00:31:07,333
It's a band.

395
00:31:07,667 --> 00:31:08,948
What is?

396
00:31:09,961 --> 00:31:11,076
This.

397
00:31:13,007 --> 00:31:14,465
That's nice.

398
00:31:16,300 --> 00:31:18,293
I'm the drummer.

399
00:31:18,594 --> 00:31:20,090
We kick ass.

400
00:31:20,346 --> 00:31:22,055
I guess you must.

401
00:31:24,601 --> 00:31:26,393
What are those for?

402
00:31:26,854 --> 00:31:29,344
It's a community garden.

403
00:31:29,564 --> 00:31:33,942
We'll plant flowers and have a playground
for kids, vegetables for families.

404
00:31:35,196 --> 00:31:36,441
Cool.

405
00:31:36,531 --> 00:31:40,777
Yeah, but the lot is totally bare of soil.
We'll need fertilizer.

406
00:31:41,201 --> 00:31:43,443
-Fertilizer?
-Yeah, a lot of it.

407
00:31:43,537 --> 00:31:46,241
And then I saw your sign. I thought...

408
00:31:46,331 --> 00:31:48,620
that is exactly what we need.

409
00:31:51,545 --> 00:31:53,751
Well, maybe I can help out.

410
00:31:54,548 --> 00:31:56,457
Wonderful. I'm Lily.

411
00:31:57,884 --> 00:31:59,083
I'm Joe.

412
00:32:17,029 --> 00:32:21,277
Dear Lily, it was great to meet you.
I'm into gardening, too.

413
00:32:21,451 --> 00:32:25,400
I can plant trees,
weed flowers, dig bulbs....

414
00:32:25,496 --> 00:32:28,865
Boobs, Joe, not bulbs!
Tell her you dig her boobs!

415
00:32:28,958 --> 00:32:30,950
Dames like compliments!

416
00:32:32,753 --> 00:32:37,331
Nothing like the sight of a woman with
a sack of grubs hanging off her abdomen.

417
00:32:37,424 --> 00:32:40,379
Can't you see
I'm trying to have some privacy?

418
00:32:41,511 --> 00:32:45,011
Hey, Joe, what's this idea
you people keep kicking about "privacy"?

419
00:32:45,098 --> 00:32:47,671
Explain it to us. We don't get it.

420
00:32:48,183 --> 00:32:50,641
People need to be alone sometimes.

421
00:32:50,729 --> 00:32:53,849
That's a false philosophic concept.

422
00:32:54,149 --> 00:32:56,984
-You are never alone.
-Not in New York City.

423
00:32:57,069 --> 00:33:00,817
Us roaches see everything you do.
So what? We're all friends here.

424
00:33:00,906 --> 00:33:02,732
Okay. Fine. Shut up.

425
00:33:03,450 --> 00:33:04,695
Oh, I like that.

426
00:33:04,785 --> 00:33:06,862
-"Shut up," he says.
-Shut up yourself.

427
00:33:06,954 --> 00:33:09,624
-No manners, this guy.
-Who needs you?

428
00:33:09,832 --> 00:33:12,370
-So long, Romeo.
-I bet she's a dog.

429
00:33:20,676 --> 00:33:23,511
Dear Lily, I want to help your garden.

430
00:33:23,679 --> 00:33:27,724
That's "plow your garden," Joe.
Tell her you want to plow her.

431
00:33:33,688 --> 00:33:35,598
I said shut up already!

432
00:33:35,690 --> 00:33:36,889
Come on, Joe!

433
00:33:36,984 --> 00:33:39,688
Dames secretly like it
when you give them shit.

434
00:33:39,778 --> 00:33:42,696
We need fertilizer. Lots ofit.

435
00:33:46,868 --> 00:33:48,067
What are you doing?

436
00:33:48,162 --> 00:33:51,247
Giving you a neck rub.
You seem a little tense.

437
00:33:51,374 --> 00:33:53,781
-Okay, okay! We're gone!
-Chill out.

438
00:34:30,454 --> 00:34:31,569
Wait.

439
00:34:31,997 --> 00:34:33,457
Hey, get out!

440
00:35:41,609 --> 00:35:45,358
You've got to be more careful
with those enthusiastic greetings.

441
00:35:45,446 --> 00:35:47,070
I'm an old man.

442
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:48,733
Oh, Daddy.

443
00:35:49,825 --> 00:35:54,154
I got a call from your job supervisor
the other day.

444
00:35:54,914 --> 00:35:59,327
He told me that you're spending
a lot of time in that little atrium of yours.

445
00:35:59,418 --> 00:36:01,293
But I must insist....

446
00:36:04,799 --> 00:36:07,505
Tell me where you got those earrings.

447
00:36:08,970 --> 00:36:10,085
Saks.

448
00:36:10,388 --> 00:36:13,970
The atrium is just a dry run
for my first big project.

449
00:36:14,267 --> 00:36:17,801
What? I'm sorry, a project? What project?

450
00:36:17,895 --> 00:36:20,813
I'm starting a community garden
in the East Village.

451
00:36:20,898 --> 00:36:22,975
That's nice. Whereabouts?

452
00:36:23,193 --> 00:36:26,396
East 8th Street in Avenue B.
In your old neighborhood.

453
00:36:26,488 --> 00:36:28,480
Isn't this great, Daddy?

454
00:36:28,573 --> 00:36:29,771
Pumpkin...

455
00:36:29,866 --> 00:36:32,866
I'm building a federal prison on that site.

456
00:36:34,452 --> 00:36:37,408
A prison?
In the middle of the East Village?

457
00:36:37,832 --> 00:36:41,781
Why not? With all the crime and drugs,
it's already a prison.

458
00:36:44,464 --> 00:36:47,299
Not until my 30-day
gardening permit expires.

459
00:36:47,383 --> 00:36:51,215
And by that time,
I'll have the whole East Village behind me.

460
00:36:51,304 --> 00:36:53,463
Now, if you'll excuse me...

461
00:36:54,850 --> 00:36:56,722
I have some mulching to do.

462
00:37:12,659 --> 00:37:14,567
Hey, what's that smell?

463
00:37:14,660 --> 00:37:16,903
-It's odoriferous.
-It's "splendoriferous."

464
00:37:16,996 --> 00:37:21,290
-Joe, you are a prince among men.
-Always thinking of your buddies.

465
00:37:23,044 --> 00:37:24,123
Letter for Ralph.

466
00:37:24,212 --> 00:37:26,288
-Mail call!
-Anything for me?

467
00:37:26,589 --> 00:37:29,045
-Letter for Rodney.
-A postcard from Uncle Sid.

468
00:37:29,133 --> 00:37:30,462
How is Tampa?

469
00:37:30,635 --> 00:37:32,094
Garbage magazine?

470
00:37:32,179 --> 00:37:34,586
-Thanks a bunch, Joe!
-My sex toy arrived yet?

471
00:37:34,681 --> 00:37:36,472
Junk mail, junk mail.

472
00:37:36,557 --> 00:37:38,219
Hey, one for me.

473
00:37:38,310 --> 00:37:39,971
-It's from Mom.
-No kidding.

474
00:37:40,062 --> 00:37:42,469
-How is the old bag?
-Be respectful.

475
00:37:42,564 --> 00:37:44,472
Joe knows I'm kidding!

476
00:37:45,817 --> 00:37:49,649
"Dear Joe, got you a job interview
with P.I. Smith & Sons.

477
00:37:49,738 --> 00:37:52,311
"The boss is
my old high school classmate."

478
00:37:52,407 --> 00:37:56,405
-P.I. Smith & Sons? Great company.
-You've heard of them?

479
00:37:56,494 --> 00:37:58,783
They're the biggest manufacturer
in New York.

480
00:37:58,871 --> 00:38:00,330
What do they make?

481
00:38:02,500 --> 00:38:07,078
When I was about your age,
I woke up one morning and said to myself:

482
00:38:07,172 --> 00:38:08,832
"Urinal cake.

483
00:38:08,924 --> 00:38:10,667
"That's the future."

484
00:38:11,509 --> 00:38:12,672
So...

485
00:38:13,094 --> 00:38:16,261
I decided to aim
for men's room manufacturing.

486
00:38:17,765 --> 00:38:21,597
Now I'm the richest man
in the urinal sanitation industry.

487
00:38:23,231 --> 00:38:26,349
Twenty million men
piss on my name everyday.

488
00:38:27,775 --> 00:38:29,151
That's great, sir.

489
00:38:29,235 --> 00:38:31,274
So, you're an lowa boy, like me.

490
00:38:31,362 --> 00:38:33,901
Yes, sir. Went to Murchison High School.

491
00:38:33,990 --> 00:38:35,781
Good old Murchison.

492
00:38:35,992 --> 00:38:37,570
"Go, Bullfrogs! "

493
00:38:39,704 --> 00:38:43,749
My mom could do that cheer really well.
She was a varsity cheerleader.

494
00:38:43,833 --> 00:38:45,376
I remember.

495
00:38:45,877 --> 00:38:48,830
Your mom was the hottest tomato
in school.

496
00:38:53,927 --> 00:38:57,711
Does your mom still wear her hair
in that sexy way?

497
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:03,970
Does mischief still sparkle in her eye...

498
00:39:05,146 --> 00:39:06,557
that minx?

499
00:39:08,025 --> 00:39:12,022
Mommy still got that saucy swing
to her hips?

500
00:39:15,114 --> 00:39:17,238
Did Mommy ever give you...

501
00:39:17,618 --> 00:39:19,111
a sponge bath?

502
00:39:21,538 --> 00:39:24,872
Welcome to the research department
for P.I. Smith & Sons.

503
00:39:24,958 --> 00:39:28,908
You will play an essential role
in our quest for the perfect urinal cake:

504
00:39:29,004 --> 00:39:30,747
Used product retrieval.

505
00:39:30,839 --> 00:39:34,420
Your first assignment, retrieve
all used product from the restrooms...

506
00:39:34,508 --> 00:39:37,712
at 58 East 161st Street, the Bronx.

507
00:39:37,804 --> 00:39:40,924
Deliver them to the research department
for testing.

508
00:39:41,224 --> 00:39:43,894
58 East 161st Street.

509
00:39:44,602 --> 00:39:47,604
58 East 161st....

510
00:39:58,158 --> 00:39:59,568
Joe's here!

511
00:40:00,368 --> 00:40:02,444
Let him watch. He's okay.

512
00:40:03,288 --> 00:40:04,367
What's this?

513
00:40:04,456 --> 00:40:07,410
Channel R.
The roach public access channel.

514
00:40:08,085 --> 00:40:10,041
You roaches have your own channel?

515
00:40:10,128 --> 00:40:11,457
Shut up!

516
00:40:18,804 --> 00:40:22,219
Are you ready
for something itsy-bitsy, baby?

517
00:40:23,851 --> 00:40:26,970
Come and get it, you greasy little tick.

518
00:40:27,479 --> 00:40:30,397
Oh, my God! I'm going to pupate!

519
00:40:32,692 --> 00:40:34,436
You so fine, baby.

520
00:40:34,820 --> 00:40:37,393
Bloats up your crop, don't it, Joe?

521
00:40:50,877 --> 00:40:52,253
Hey, Joe!

522
00:40:53,214 --> 00:40:56,380
-What is it now?
-You seem a little down.

523
00:40:56,467 --> 00:40:57,960
Are you okay?

524
00:40:58,427 --> 00:40:59,707
Just great.

525
00:40:59,845 --> 00:41:02,051
I'm lonely, my job sucks...

526
00:41:02,389 --> 00:41:05,721
and I'm in love with a girl
who's got a boyfriend.

527
00:41:05,975 --> 00:41:08,549
My life has totally turned to shit.

528
00:41:08,812 --> 00:41:11,054
Funny thing about shit, Joe.

529
00:41:11,357 --> 00:41:14,311
-Good stuff grows out of it.
-Yeah, right.

530
00:41:14,819 --> 00:41:18,234
You don't believe me?
Check out that bag in the corner.

531
00:41:54,024 --> 00:41:56,597
Where do you want this stupid bush?

532
00:41:57,987 --> 00:41:59,694
Right over there.

533
00:42:00,113 --> 00:42:02,071
Isn't this great, Blank?

534
00:42:03,074 --> 00:42:04,403
This is not my thing.

535
00:42:04,493 --> 00:42:06,616
Why did I say yes to this?

536
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:11,280
For you.

537
00:42:12,168 --> 00:42:14,207
Elephicalia vermilius?

538
00:42:15,129 --> 00:42:17,336
I did my senior thesis on this flower.

539
00:42:17,423 --> 00:42:20,377
It's only found
in Sri Lankan elephant habitats.

540
00:42:20,468 --> 00:42:23,041
It loves rotting, moist conditions.

541
00:42:28,393 --> 00:42:29,637
You know....

542
00:42:30,519 --> 00:42:33,057
It's a terrific planting for the garden.

543
00:42:34,315 --> 00:42:35,559
Good.

544
00:42:35,773 --> 00:42:36,936
Thanks.

545
00:42:39,153 --> 00:42:40,896
What's "P.I.S. & S?"

546
00:42:43,073 --> 00:42:45,825
It's the bank I work for.

547
00:42:47,411 --> 00:42:50,910
"Prudential lnvestment Stocks
and Security Savings...."

548
00:42:52,959 --> 00:42:55,284
I thought you played in a band.

549
00:42:55,796 --> 00:42:56,875
I do.

550
00:42:57,464 --> 00:42:58,625
But...

551
00:42:59,632 --> 00:43:02,122
banking is kind of like my trade.

552
00:43:02,259 --> 00:43:04,881
I'm sort of a rock-and-roll banker.

553
00:43:06,013 --> 00:43:08,339
You wear these overalls to work?

554
00:43:12,020 --> 00:43:13,430
What's this?

555
00:43:16,106 --> 00:43:19,771
Those are super-mulching pellets.

556
00:43:19,860 --> 00:43:22,185
Great for growing things.

557
00:43:22,279 --> 00:43:25,779
-I've never seen them before.
-It's a new technology.

558
00:43:26,534 --> 00:43:29,107
Could you get some of these
for the garden?

559
00:43:30,455 --> 00:43:32,114
As many as you want!

560
00:43:36,544 --> 00:43:37,954
Thank you.

561
00:43:38,671 --> 00:43:40,166
You're great.

562
00:43:42,300 --> 00:43:45,383
On one condition:
You come see my band tomorrow night.

563
00:43:45,469 --> 00:43:47,592
I can put you on the list.

564
00:43:49,431 --> 00:43:50,974
I don't know.

565
00:43:51,643 --> 00:43:52,970
Come on.

566
00:43:57,189 --> 00:43:59,348
Can't resist a man in a uniform.

567
00:44:06,239 --> 00:44:08,528
Thank you for tuning into Alternative Life.

568
00:44:08,616 --> 00:44:11,191
New York's only truly underground forum.

569
00:44:11,287 --> 00:44:12,947
We continue last week's discussion:

570
00:44:13,039 --> 00:44:16,158
"How can we promote better
understanding between species?"

571
00:44:16,250 --> 00:44:18,242
Lay off the rat jokes!

572
00:44:18,335 --> 00:44:21,337
How many rats does it take
to screw in a light bulb?

573
00:44:21,423 --> 00:44:23,664
How'd you like a punch in the beak,
wise guy?

574
00:44:23,758 --> 00:44:25,585
Lay off the bird, sewer breath!

575
00:44:25,677 --> 00:44:27,551
Go gnaw some nuts!

576
00:44:27,721 --> 00:44:29,428
Can 't we all just get along?

577
00:44:29,513 --> 00:44:30,593
No!

578
00:44:36,187 --> 00:44:37,266
Now, guys--

579
00:44:37,355 --> 00:44:39,763
-Out of the way.
-We're watching Charlie Roach.

580
00:44:39,858 --> 00:44:41,565
I've got a date tonight.

581
00:44:42,777 --> 00:44:44,235
Is she cute?

582
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:46,776
-About time, Joey!
-Porkola time, buddy.

583
00:44:46,865 --> 00:44:49,355
-So I want you to stay out of sight.
-Who, us?

584
00:44:49,450 --> 00:44:51,821
-Sure, Joey.
-No problem, Joe.

585
00:44:51,910 --> 00:44:54,283
-You got the place to yourself.
-We're Gandhi.

586
00:44:54,371 --> 00:44:58,665
I'll forget every horrible thing you've ever
done to me if you disappear tonight.

587
00:44:58,918 --> 00:45:00,994
-Just disappear.
-We're on the same team.

588
00:45:01,087 --> 00:45:02,747
Forget about it.

589
00:45:03,005 --> 00:45:04,548
I mean it.

590
00:45:06,008 --> 00:45:07,289
Thanks, Joe.

591
00:45:07,385 --> 00:45:09,543
Look at that piece of meat.

592
00:45:10,138 --> 00:45:12,381
That is some dope shit, Joe.

593
00:45:12,516 --> 00:45:14,258
Look at that, Joe!

594
00:45:27,696 --> 00:45:30,069
-That hit the spot.
-Complements to the chef.

595
00:45:30,158 --> 00:45:31,700
Joe's first date!

596
00:45:33,286 --> 00:45:35,195
Let's make it special.

597
00:45:35,454 --> 00:45:37,743
-Great idea, Ralph.
-Special, sure.

598
00:45:37,831 --> 00:45:38,993
I'm in favor.

599
00:45:44,923 --> 00:45:48,256
Come on, buddy, that's it.
Let's get him over the curb.

600
00:45:53,347 --> 00:45:54,427
Mr. Smith?

601
00:45:55,476 --> 00:45:57,515
It's a hostile takeover.

602
00:45:59,187 --> 00:46:02,556
Ten minutes ago this company became
a wholly-owned subsidiary...

603
00:46:02,649 --> 00:46:04,771
of Featherstone Feminine Products.

604
00:46:04,859 --> 00:46:08,310
They're going to shut down
the whole urinal cake division!

605
00:46:08,404 --> 00:46:10,232
Don't forget to take this.

606
00:46:10,323 --> 00:46:13,657
This way, gentlemen. Roll it over here.

607
00:46:17,038 --> 00:46:19,030
My whole life's work!

608
00:46:19,248 --> 00:46:20,743
Ruined!

609
00:46:21,251 --> 00:46:22,660
That's right.

610
00:46:22,751 --> 00:46:25,670
The days of trickle-down economics
are over.

611
00:47:18,183 --> 00:47:21,302
Ladies and gentlemen. It's loud, it's bad...

612
00:47:21,394 --> 00:47:23,553
it's Shit!

613
00:47:33,657 --> 00:47:35,068
Easy crowd.

614
00:47:39,454 --> 00:47:41,198
Oh, a new drummer.

615
00:47:43,333 --> 00:47:45,326
Yeah, I hope he's good.

616
00:47:45,460 --> 00:47:46,705
Hit it!

617
00:48:15,949 --> 00:48:17,657
I'm sorry!

618
00:48:18,118 --> 00:48:21,368
There won't be any rock-and-roll tonight.

619
00:48:21,538 --> 00:48:24,029
This is all that's left!

620
00:48:29,463 --> 00:48:32,499
This feeble wimped-out death rattle...

621
00:48:32,591 --> 00:48:35,675
is all that remains of the rolling thunder...

622
00:48:35,761 --> 00:48:37,752
of America's heartbeat!

623
00:48:58,785 --> 00:49:00,610
It wasn't that bad.

624
00:49:00,827 --> 00:49:02,322
Yes, it was.

625
00:49:04,414 --> 00:49:07,415
Maybe you should stick to banking,
after all.

626
00:49:08,418 --> 00:49:11,039
I'm not a banker. I'm not a drummer.

627
00:49:11,755 --> 00:49:15,005
I can't even keep a job
collecting urinal cakes.

628
00:49:15,175 --> 00:49:16,504
I'm just...

629
00:49:16,969 --> 00:49:18,083
nothing.

630
00:49:19,263 --> 00:49:21,255
I think you're something.

631
00:49:26,770 --> 00:49:30,056
-Why aren't you with your boyfriend?
-What boyfriend?

632
00:49:30,148 --> 00:49:33,600
The guy I saw you kiss in the garden
a few days ago.

633
00:49:35,737 --> 00:49:38,443
He's probably home kissing my mother.

634
00:49:40,283 --> 00:49:41,744
He's my dad.

635
00:49:47,833 --> 00:49:50,159
The lot is completely planted.

636
00:49:50,251 --> 00:49:53,586
The community is behind it,
the flowers are starting to bloom.

637
00:49:53,673 --> 00:49:55,914
Now I just have to show it to my father...

638
00:49:56,008 --> 00:49:59,127
and show him something good
can come out of the neighborhood...

639
00:49:59,219 --> 00:50:00,630
and it's worth saving.

640
00:50:00,721 --> 00:50:02,464
Do you want to come to my place?

641
00:50:06,268 --> 00:50:07,975
I've got a towel you could use.

642
00:50:31,126 --> 00:50:35,040
Funky towel
Towel's got the funk

643
00:50:35,839 --> 00:50:39,458
Funky towel
Towel's got the funk

644
00:50:45,223 --> 00:50:47,430
Baby, I got the love

645
00:50:47,518 --> 00:50:49,676
Baby, I got the power

646
00:50:49,770 --> 00:50:51,929
Come on, girl, and rock my world

647
00:50:52,023 --> 00:50:54,228
And my funky towel

648
00:51:06,287 --> 00:51:08,409
Baby, got the love

649
00:51:08,497 --> 00:51:10,490
Baby, got the howl

650
00:51:10,832 --> 00:51:13,040
Let's get down to party town

651
00:51:13,128 --> 00:51:15,251
And my funky towel

652
00:51:17,715 --> 00:51:21,546
Thick and funky
Steamin ' up the dance floor

653
00:51:22,511 --> 00:51:25,428
Get on up and shake that thing

654
00:51:27,141 --> 00:51:30,474
Everybody's gettin ' what they ask for

655
00:51:31,771 --> 00:51:34,937
Everybody, everybody, sing

656
00:51:36,358 --> 00:51:39,525
Sing, sing, sing

657
00:51:40,403 --> 00:51:43,358
Welcome to Joey's toilet

658
00:52:09,892 --> 00:52:11,600
-Make yourself at home.
-Thanks.

659
00:52:11,686 --> 00:52:13,263
I've got a towel....

660
00:52:23,239 --> 00:52:24,566
What are you doing?

661
00:52:24,656 --> 00:52:27,408
Having a party, what does it look like?

662
00:52:27,576 --> 00:52:29,735
I'm serious. I want you out of here!

663
00:52:29,829 --> 00:52:32,070
-Joe, my brother!
-Thanks, Joey!

664
00:52:32,164 --> 00:52:34,536
-What say there?
-Bust a move.

665
00:52:35,751 --> 00:52:37,828
Funky towel

666
00:52:37,921 --> 00:52:40,246
Towel's got the funk

667
00:52:41,424 --> 00:52:44,260
Okay, I'm dancing. Now, beat it. Leave.

668
00:52:53,727 --> 00:52:56,812
You just flushed the rhythm section
out to Coney lsland.

669
00:52:56,897 --> 00:52:59,306
So follow them out there. Lily's here.

670
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:00,598
She is?

671
00:53:05,364 --> 00:53:07,772
My towels are in the laundry.

672
00:53:07,867 --> 00:53:09,526
Oh, that's fine.

673
00:53:30,015 --> 00:53:31,178
So...

674
00:53:31,724 --> 00:53:33,716
do you live here alone?

675
00:53:34,352 --> 00:53:36,511
Yep. Nobody here but us.

676
00:53:41,776 --> 00:53:43,568
Guys, you promised.

677
00:53:44,820 --> 00:53:47,525
Come on, baby, light my fire.

678
00:53:50,201 --> 00:53:52,573
-Up periscope.
-Music, maestro.

679
00:54:02,672 --> 00:54:04,748
How about a smooch, baby?

680
00:54:11,514 --> 00:54:13,388
Your place is so comfy.

681
00:54:14,101 --> 00:54:15,180
Shut up.

682
00:54:16,852 --> 00:54:18,263
I mean...

683
00:54:19,689 --> 00:54:20,851
drink up.

684
00:54:22,650 --> 00:54:24,559
Down the hatch, sweetie.

685
00:54:25,403 --> 00:54:27,976
Here's to life's little surprises.

686
00:54:35,121 --> 00:54:37,873
I think you'll need one of these, Joe.

687
00:54:42,377 --> 00:54:43,789
Pretzel nugget?

688
00:54:45,507 --> 00:54:47,084
Bon appetit.

689
00:54:51,471 --> 00:54:53,049
What a lover!

690
00:54:53,181 --> 00:54:54,675
A real Casanova.

691
00:54:55,183 --> 00:54:56,381
Go get her.

692
00:54:57,018 --> 00:54:58,811
I beg your pardon?

693
00:54:59,272 --> 00:55:00,765
Feeling better?

694
00:55:01,231 --> 00:55:02,511
Well, I'm...

695
00:55:03,066 --> 00:55:04,773
still a little wet.

696
00:55:09,572 --> 00:55:11,861
-What's going on?
-Don't push.

697
00:55:12,617 --> 00:55:14,824
I'm sorry. I hope you don't catch cold.

698
00:55:14,911 --> 00:55:16,951
-She wants it.
-I smell victory.

699
00:55:17,163 --> 00:55:19,156
At least it wasn't a downpour.

700
00:55:21,752 --> 00:55:23,245
Steady there!

701
00:55:27,548 --> 00:55:29,458
-Steady!
-Don't tip it!

702
00:55:36,892 --> 00:55:38,718
Let me out of here!

703
00:55:42,313 --> 00:55:43,809
No, no! Wait!

704
00:55:44,817 --> 00:55:46,395
Oh, my God!

705
00:55:48,027 --> 00:55:49,652
Lily, come back!

706
00:55:56,536 --> 00:55:58,576
Oh, my God.

707
00:56:01,291 --> 00:56:02,571
My garden.

708
00:56:08,173 --> 00:56:09,798
My father was right.

709
00:56:11,467 --> 00:56:14,172
This place does deserve to be a prison.

710
00:56:15,472 --> 00:56:17,963
The East Village sucks!

711
00:56:27,442 --> 00:56:29,519
We're really sorry, man.

712
00:56:29,612 --> 00:56:31,486
-We're sorry.
-We didn't mean it.

713
00:56:31,573 --> 00:56:33,231
Tough break, buddy.

714
00:56:33,323 --> 00:56:34,568
We didn't know.

715
00:56:34,658 --> 00:56:37,231
Beer, Joe? Oh, sorry.

716
00:56:37,327 --> 00:56:39,153
She'll never speak to me again.

717
00:56:39,245 --> 00:56:41,452
Come on. There'll be others, Joe.

718
00:56:41,540 --> 00:56:43,995
I don't want any others. I want Lily.

719
00:56:44,459 --> 00:56:45,622
I want to die.

720
00:56:45,711 --> 00:56:47,418
Look on the bright side.

721
00:56:47,879 --> 00:56:49,623
You always got us.

722
00:56:52,092 --> 00:56:53,468
All right.

723
00:56:53,594 --> 00:56:54,969
That's it.

724
00:56:55,469 --> 00:56:58,719
I'm getting rid of you roaches
once and for all.

725
00:56:59,141 --> 00:57:00,469
Wait. Don't be rash.

726
00:57:00,559 --> 00:57:02,966
I'll kill every last one of you!

727
00:57:03,103 --> 00:57:04,680
We're family!

728
00:57:04,771 --> 00:57:06,930
Well, I guess this means war.

729
00:57:09,067 --> 00:57:10,478
Joe, let's talk.

730
00:57:10,569 --> 00:57:13,060
This is all I have to say to you, Ralph.

731
00:57:14,741 --> 00:57:17,445
-He's got a bomb!
-Run for your lives!

732
00:57:17,993 --> 00:57:19,784
No! Don't do it!

733
00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:32,205
My babies! My babies!

734
00:57:32,299 --> 00:57:34,421
One, two, three, heave!

735
00:57:35,677 --> 00:57:36,673
Heave!

736
00:57:48,857 --> 00:57:51,645
Careful, soldier, don't lose your head.

737
00:57:52,152 --> 00:57:54,643
Oh, Joe's little dolly got hurt.

738
00:57:57,991 --> 00:57:59,569
Red alert!

739
00:58:08,710 --> 00:58:10,786
Armored force, attack!

740
00:58:15,133 --> 00:58:16,544
Let her go!

741
00:58:18,011 --> 00:58:19,671
Timber!

742
00:58:33,569 --> 00:58:36,024
-What the....
-Hello, Joe.

743
00:58:36,112 --> 00:58:37,690
Now can we talk?

744
00:58:38,282 --> 00:58:40,855
-You go first.
-No, you go first.

745
00:58:42,495 --> 00:58:44,368
Goddamn, you little sons of bitches!

746
00:58:44,454 --> 00:58:46,614
Get the hell out of my apartment!

747
00:58:46,708 --> 00:58:48,202
Listen to that.

748
00:58:48,293 --> 00:58:50,663
-Your apartment?
-I believe we were here first.

749
00:58:50,752 --> 00:58:54,039
We'll be here last, too.
We got a long-term lease on this planet.

750
00:58:54,131 --> 00:58:59,006
Roaches will be crawling on the daisy
popping out of the last rotting human.

751
00:58:59,553 --> 00:59:00,964
God, you're disgusting!

752
00:59:01,055 --> 00:59:04,091
Like you humans
are any kind of fucking prize!

753
00:59:04,183 --> 00:59:06,341
What makes you so much better than us?

754
00:59:06,435 --> 00:59:09,851
War, pollution, New Age music!

755
00:59:10,230 --> 00:59:12,934
I suppose those things are our fault?

756
00:59:18,823 --> 00:59:20,862
We just want to say two things. First:

757
00:59:20,949 --> 00:59:23,073
We're sorry we ruined your life. Second:

758
00:59:23,161 --> 00:59:24,274
Goodbye.

759
00:59:24,369 --> 00:59:25,864
-Toodles.
-Sayonara.

760
00:59:25,955 --> 00:59:27,781
What do you mean "goodbye"?

761
00:59:27,873 --> 00:59:32,002
-We took a big risk talking to you.
-Since you faked our friendship...

762
00:59:32,087 --> 00:59:34,956
you can't walk off
knowing what you know.

763
00:59:37,133 --> 00:59:39,041
Painful decision, Joe.

764
00:59:39,718 --> 00:59:40,881
Wait!

765
00:59:44,056 --> 00:59:46,095
Here, roachy, roachy.

766
00:59:47,727 --> 00:59:49,304
Going to miss you.

767
00:59:50,270 --> 00:59:52,014
I was kidding.

768
00:59:52,148 --> 00:59:55,268
-Any last words?
-Don't kill me.

769
00:59:55,526 --> 00:59:57,067
Those are the last words?

770
00:59:57,151 --> 00:59:59,061
Ready! Aim!

771
01:00:06,913 --> 01:00:08,739
Ralph! Rodney!

772
01:00:09,999 --> 01:00:11,243
Help!

773
01:01:33,917 --> 01:01:35,909
Big deal. Please hold.

774
01:01:36,878 --> 01:01:38,704
So what? Please hold.

775
01:01:39,338 --> 01:01:41,794
Don't make me laugh. Please hold.

776
01:01:43,593 --> 01:01:45,087
No, ma'am.

777
01:01:45,178 --> 01:01:49,046
I think you should take the shrapnel out
before you cauterize.

778
01:01:49,141 --> 01:01:52,011
-I don 't think I can do it.
-Please hold.

779
01:01:53,519 --> 01:01:55,559
Central Complaint Department.

780
01:01:55,647 --> 01:01:58,316
I'd like to speak to Lily Dougherty.

781
01:02:00,818 --> 01:02:02,478
Lily's not here.

782
01:02:03,029 --> 01:02:04,523
Will she be back soon?

783
01:02:04,613 --> 01:02:06,939
No. She's sick.

784
01:02:07,033 --> 01:02:08,112
Sick?

785
01:02:10,078 --> 01:02:11,986
She's sick of her job.

786
01:02:12,245 --> 01:02:13,954
And she's sick of New York City.

787
01:02:14,039 --> 01:02:18,038
And she's sick of having her stupid
daydreams dashed to pieces.

788
01:02:19,253 --> 01:02:20,831
And what makes her sickest...

789
01:02:20,922 --> 01:02:24,172
is the unspeakably rotten things
some people do to other people...

790
01:02:24,258 --> 01:02:26,381
just when she was beginning to like them!

791
01:02:26,469 --> 01:02:27,963
Lily, is that you?

792
01:02:29,014 --> 01:02:30,092
No.

793
01:02:30,431 --> 01:02:31,808
Lily quit.

794
01:02:31,892 --> 01:02:33,434
Lily, it's Joe!

795
01:02:33,518 --> 01:02:34,598
Lily!

796
01:03:16,019 --> 01:03:17,182
Ralph!

797
01:03:19,106 --> 01:03:20,137
Rodney!

798
01:03:22,025 --> 01:03:24,729
I don't care
if you can hear me or not, Ralph!

799
01:03:24,986 --> 01:03:27,608
But you can keep this goddamn city!

800
01:03:28,155 --> 01:03:30,826
I'm going back to lowa!

801
01:03:31,368 --> 01:03:33,989
Here's a souvenir to take with you.

802
01:03:35,830 --> 01:03:37,622
So long, sucker.

803
01:03:37,916 --> 01:03:39,991
I love the real estate business.

804
01:03:48,426 --> 01:03:50,465
The place looks great.

805
01:03:50,553 --> 01:03:52,345
Sure it does, Ralph. Where's Joe?

806
01:03:52,430 --> 01:03:54,553
Around here someplace, I suppose.

807
01:03:57,685 --> 01:03:58,800
Joe!

808
01:04:00,606 --> 01:04:02,515
Joe, speak to me!

809
01:04:02,608 --> 01:04:04,186
Who did this to you?

810
01:04:04,277 --> 01:04:08,273
We did, Ralph. We ran out on him
just when he needed us most.

811
01:04:09,113 --> 01:04:11,403
We behaved no better
than a bunch of people.

812
01:04:11,491 --> 01:04:14,695
We got to make it up to him.
Let's find him a new place.

813
01:04:15,620 --> 01:04:17,779
We got to get Lily back, too.

814
01:04:18,707 --> 01:04:21,198
Forget that, I'm a cockroach,
not Santa Claus.

815
01:04:21,293 --> 01:04:25,207
Ralphie, I'm surprised at you.
Does this mean you're giving up?

816
01:04:25,297 --> 01:04:28,581
Give up? Give up?
What are you saying to me?

817
01:04:29,133 --> 01:04:32,135
How come us roaches have been able
to outlast the dinosaurs?

818
01:04:32,220 --> 01:04:35,055
How do we survive poison
and persecution?

819
01:04:35,140 --> 01:04:38,176
How do we keep on crawling
in the face of the world in arms?

820
01:04:38,268 --> 01:04:39,299
How?

821
01:04:39,394 --> 01:04:42,430
I'll tell you how.
Because we never give up!

822
01:04:44,483 --> 01:04:46,309
A true cockroach never gives up!

823
01:04:46,401 --> 01:04:50,186
They can stomp us, they can pop us,
but they'll never ever stop us!

824
01:04:52,407 --> 01:04:57,484
Some day, the great H-bomb will drop,
and we'll have the planet to ourselves!

825
01:05:00,415 --> 01:05:04,627
I don't care if we call in favors from
every roach, rat and pigeon in New York.

826
01:05:04,711 --> 01:05:06,834
We aren't giving up on Joe!

827
01:05:06,921 --> 01:05:09,413
-Great speech, Ralph!
-Truly righteous, brother.

828
01:05:21,895 --> 01:05:23,389
Where's the stapler?

829
01:05:27,234 --> 01:05:30,270
-I need five copies.
-How do you spell "memorandum"?

830
01:05:34,242 --> 01:05:35,440
Boot it up.

831
01:05:37,035 --> 01:05:38,945
Anybody got a 1942 W-440?

832
01:05:59,640 --> 01:06:01,051
Special delivery.

833
01:06:01,725 --> 01:06:03,969
This is giving me hay fever.

834
01:06:06,022 --> 01:06:08,395
Hey, watch the potholes, homes.

835
01:06:14,323 --> 01:06:17,110
Excuse me, sir. Mind if we borrow this?

836
01:06:58,283 --> 01:06:59,564
Tubular!

837
01:07:01,328 --> 01:07:02,491
Wash out!

838
01:07:02,831 --> 01:07:04,989
Sewer surfing

839
01:07:05,500 --> 01:07:07,657
Under-turfing

840
01:07:08,168 --> 01:07:10,457
We get our kicks while we're hanging six

841
01:07:10,546 --> 01:07:13,119
On a sewer surfing holiday

842
01:07:29,396 --> 01:07:31,971
We're surfing, we're sewer surfing

843
01:07:43,079 --> 01:07:45,450
Shoo-shoo
Shooting the tube

844
01:07:45,706 --> 01:07:48,458
We are going to get there
Shooting the tube

845
01:07:48,543 --> 01:07:50,831
Hitting the loo
We're dirtier than you

846
01:07:50,920 --> 01:07:52,996
We are shooting the tube

847
01:08:26,914 --> 01:08:29,072
Are you sure this is the right address?

848
01:08:29,166 --> 01:08:30,281
Yes, Daddy.

849
01:08:30,376 --> 01:08:32,701
"324 1/2 East 8th Street.

850
01:08:32,795 --> 01:08:34,918
"Prison dedication, 9:00 a.m."

851
01:08:35,423 --> 01:08:38,589
Funny, I could have sworn
this was an empty lot.

852
01:09:32,772 --> 01:09:34,432
-Hi, Lily.
-Joe!

853
01:09:34,899 --> 01:09:36,393
What's all this?

854
01:09:36,484 --> 01:09:38,192
I guess it's sort of...

855
01:09:39,320 --> 01:09:40,482
mine.

856
01:09:42,114 --> 01:09:44,190
And I'm giving it to you.

857
01:09:45,951 --> 01:09:47,410
Is it okay?

858
01:09:47,744 --> 01:09:49,987
It's wonderful, but how did you....

859
01:09:50,081 --> 01:09:52,916
My friends helped.

860
01:09:55,294 --> 01:09:56,492
I see.

861
01:09:58,714 --> 01:10:00,588
Lily, you were right.

862
01:10:00,758 --> 01:10:04,258
This park will do more for
the Lower East Side than 1,000 prisons.

863
01:10:04,346 --> 01:10:07,761
My boy, you've done my old neighborhood
a great service.

864
01:10:08,057 --> 01:10:10,346
It was all her idea, Senator.

865
01:10:13,687 --> 01:10:14,802
Come on.

866
01:10:18,401 --> 01:10:20,026
My friends...

867
01:10:20,195 --> 01:10:22,353
this extraordinary garden...

868
01:10:22,572 --> 01:10:26,023
is the first blossom
of this neighborhood's rebirth.

869
01:10:26,117 --> 01:10:27,528
What is this?

870
01:10:30,662 --> 01:10:34,827
Kill that lying,
two-timing Senator Dougherty. Tonight.

871
01:10:36,127 --> 01:10:39,661
Whack his daughter
and that damn kid, too.

872
01:10:41,007 --> 01:10:43,129
See all these people here?

873
01:10:43,634 --> 01:10:45,960
Dead by the end of the week.

874
01:10:48,933 --> 01:10:50,592
And that little girl over there--

875
01:10:50,684 --> 01:10:52,095
Mr. Shirt!

876
01:10:54,812 --> 01:10:57,385
Let me show you a hot new property.

877
01:11:06,574 --> 01:11:10,157
Welcome to Lily Park!

878
01:11:21,756 --> 01:11:24,128
There's an extra toothbrush
in the cupboard.

879
01:11:24,217 --> 01:11:25,711
Oh, really, don't bother.

880
01:11:25,802 --> 01:11:29,337
It's the least I could do.
Your house burned down.

881
01:11:30,139 --> 01:11:32,049
I'll set you up on the couch.

882
01:11:35,145 --> 01:11:37,897
Joe, you're practically inside.

883
01:11:37,980 --> 01:11:39,143
Ralph!

884
01:11:39,232 --> 01:11:41,687
-Little last minute advice.
-Get lost, Ralph!

885
01:11:41,776 --> 01:11:43,816
Look into her eyes and say:

886
01:11:43,904 --> 01:11:46,904
"Baby, I'm going to bop you
till your ears bleed! "

887
01:11:46,990 --> 01:11:48,947
Did you need something?

888
01:11:49,534 --> 01:11:50,649
No, thanks.

889
01:11:50,744 --> 01:11:54,077
Play your cards right, Joe,
and this could be our new pad.

890
01:11:54,164 --> 01:11:56,120
"Our new pad"? You little....

891
01:11:56,833 --> 01:11:59,999
We busted ass for you!
What kind of thanks do we get?

892
01:12:02,921 --> 01:12:04,036
Ralph...

893
01:12:05,050 --> 01:12:06,248
thanks.

894
01:12:07,093 --> 01:12:08,753
For everything.

895
01:12:09,262 --> 01:12:13,260
Forget it. Sorry about our little
misunderstanding back there.

896
01:12:13,849 --> 01:12:16,685
Me, too. Now, how about a little privacy?

897
01:12:17,104 --> 01:12:19,809
Take my advice, just grab her by--

898
01:12:29,824 --> 01:12:32,231
Gosh, Lily, you look incredible.

899
01:12:32,744 --> 01:12:35,744
-How about a little help here?
-No. I mean it.

900
01:12:37,832 --> 01:12:41,118
You're the most beautiful girl
I've ever seen in my life.

901
01:12:42,003 --> 01:12:45,752
I bet you say that to all the girls
the minute you get them alone.

902
01:12:47,049 --> 01:12:48,792
We are alone, aren't we?

903
01:12:50,845 --> 01:12:52,126
Last I looked.

904
01:12:52,222 --> 01:12:55,258
Oh, please, let me.
I can make the bed myself.

905
01:12:55,350 --> 01:12:58,137
Really? Have you ever made a bed
in your life?

906
01:12:58,603 --> 01:13:00,311
Sure, watch this.

907
01:13:02,983 --> 01:13:05,735
Swinging pad!
What do you think, Rodney?

908
01:13:06,654 --> 01:13:07,899
Brother Ralph...

909
01:13:07,989 --> 01:13:11,986
I believe that we have finally reached
the promised penthouse!

910
01:13:12,659 --> 01:13:15,329
Brother bugs and sister insects!

911
01:13:15,412 --> 01:13:17,203
Come on with it, Rodney!

912
01:13:17,288 --> 01:13:20,075
Give a shout out to the Great Big Bug.

913
01:13:21,001 --> 01:13:24,583
With his help,
we can turn this antiseptic sanctuary...

914
01:13:24,671 --> 01:13:26,664
into a putrid paradise!

915
01:13:27,674 --> 01:13:30,959
Hold my feeler, Lord
Lord, pull me through

916
01:13:31,052 --> 01:13:32,166
Pull me through

917
01:13:32,261 --> 01:13:36,212
Hold my feeler, Lord
Lord, pull me through

918
01:13:36,767 --> 01:13:41,180
Hold my feeler, Lord
Lord, till I join that golden horde

919
01:13:41,271 --> 01:13:43,264
I'll be hanging

920
01:13:44,107 --> 01:13:46,100
Hanging onto you

921
01:13:51,324 --> 01:13:54,158
Lily, now that we're alone,
I should tell you...

922
01:13:54,242 --> 01:13:56,567
I'm sorry about what happened
at my apartment.

923
01:13:56,661 --> 01:13:58,619
My friends are sorry, too.

924
01:13:58,705 --> 01:13:59,985
Friends?

925
01:14:00,498 --> 01:14:04,163
I never thought I'd say this,
but they're actually kind of sweet.

926
01:14:04,377 --> 01:14:06,169
They must like you a lot.

927
01:14:07,297 --> 01:14:09,171
Not as much as I like you.

928
01:14:12,344 --> 01:14:13,625
Go, Joe!

929
01:14:13,721 --> 01:14:16,839
We've been battered
And we've been scattered

930
01:14:17,223 --> 01:14:20,010
We've been splattered into goo

931
01:14:20,728 --> 01:14:24,179
-But the healer, he took my feeler
-Praise the Lord, hallelujah!

932
01:14:24,273 --> 01:14:27,024
And he really pulled me through

933
01:14:27,109 --> 01:14:31,272
-Oh, he pulled me through
-Oh, that feeler

934
01:14:34,408 --> 01:14:38,109
When I cash my chips and pay the dealer

935
01:14:38,371 --> 01:14:41,537
I'll be holding onto the Lord's feeler, too

936
01:14:42,332 --> 01:14:45,499
Hold my feeler

937
01:14:45,627 --> 01:14:47,666
And my antenna, too

938
01:14:48,714 --> 01:14:52,213
I've been down and I've been trampled

939
01:14:52,301 --> 01:14:55,586
And dug myself down deep in a hole

940
01:14:55,804 --> 01:14:57,464
But I was lifted

941
01:14:57,598 --> 01:14:59,507
By the love of that Great Big Bug

942
01:14:59,600 --> 01:15:02,765
With his feelers 'round my soul

943
01:15:03,060 --> 01:15:04,259
Whoa, Lord

944
01:15:04,354 --> 01:15:06,311
Won 't you hold my feeler?

945
01:15:06,398 --> 01:15:09,067
Hold my feeler and pull me through

946
01:15:09,150 --> 01:15:11,025
I want you to feel my feeler!

947
01:15:11,111 --> 01:15:15,655
My Lord, there 's nothing realer

948
01:15:20,955 --> 01:15:22,699
Joe, that tickles.

949
01:15:24,833 --> 01:15:31,037
Than my ever-loving feeler feeling you

950
01:15:40,641 --> 01:15:43,926
So! So long from Joe's apartment

951
01:15:44,019 --> 01:15:47,102
We're sad to see you go

952
01:15:47,188 --> 01:15:49,726
Thanks for coming, it's been swell

953
01:15:49,815 --> 01:15:52,438
Check back into our motel

954
01:15:52,528 --> 01:15:56,111
Hope you didn 't mind the smell

955
01:15:56,489 --> 01:15:58,114
Joe's apartment

956
01:15:58,200 --> 01:16:04,404
our own sweet home