1 00:00:33,292 --> 00:00:35,042 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) 2 00:00:37,958 --> 00:00:39,958 MAN: Thank you. 3 00:00:40,042 --> 00:00:41,875 Thank you and welcome, ladies and gentlemen, 4 00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:44,500 to the 34th annual convention 5 00:00:44,625 --> 00:00:47,583 of the American Motion Upholstery Association. 6 00:00:49,792 --> 00:00:50,792 Thank you. 7 00:00:52,875 --> 00:00:54,500 Wasn't lunch wonderful? 8 00:00:55,708 --> 00:00:57,542 Perfect. As you know, 9 00:00:57,625 --> 00:01:00,500 this year's not been an easy one for our industry. 10 00:01:00,625 --> 00:01:03,625 As we're listening to our inspiring keynote speaker today, 11 00:01:03,708 --> 00:01:06,042 he'll be giving us a useful shot in the arm. 12 00:01:06,708 --> 00:01:08,583 (PANTING) 13 00:01:08,667 --> 00:01:09,917 He is the author of the book Get Over It, 14 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,250 (MOBILE PHONE RINGING) 15 00:01:11,333 --> 00:01:13,750 a rising star in the field of personal motivation. 16 00:01:13,833 --> 00:01:14,958 Yes, Mom. 17 00:01:15,792 --> 00:01:18,458 I will. On time. 18 00:01:18,583 --> 00:01:21,125 No, okay, but I've got be on time, now, for my introduction. 19 00:01:21,208 --> 00:01:23,083 Okay, and please don't call during the speech. 20 00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:25,583 Remember, as we listen to his inspiring words... 21 00:01:25,667 --> 00:01:26,583 Brrr! 22 00:01:26,667 --> 00:01:29,542 That motion is our middle name. 23 00:01:29,625 --> 00:01:33,583 And forward motion is our goal. 24 00:01:33,667 --> 00:01:37,625 I'm glad you're gonna get to know Jack Cochran. 25 00:01:38,083 --> 00:01:39,625 Corcoran! 26 00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:41,625 Corcoran! 27 00:01:41,958 --> 00:01:43,542 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) 28 00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:44,625 (GASPING) 29 00:01:44,750 --> 00:01:45,792 I'm over it. 30 00:01:51,208 --> 00:01:54,083 Hello. Thank you. Thank you, John. 31 00:01:55,792 --> 00:01:58,667 My father died before I was born, 32 00:01:58,792 --> 00:02:01,917 trying to save a child drowning in icy water. 33 00:02:02,875 --> 00:02:04,667 And it took me a long time 34 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,708 before I stopped resenting that. 35 00:02:07,250 --> 00:02:08,917 Finally I did. 36 00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:11,792 Finally, 37 00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:15,167 I was able to get over it. 38 00:02:16,958 --> 00:02:18,083 And when I did, 39 00:02:18,167 --> 00:02:19,875 I found out 40 00:02:19,958 --> 00:02:21,625 a lot of things 41 00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,625 about me 42 00:02:23,750 --> 00:02:25,167 that were neat. 43 00:02:25,292 --> 00:02:28,000 Neat things that I wanted to share with other people 44 00:02:28,125 --> 00:02:31,833 who maybe didn't know some neat things about themselves. 45 00:02:31,958 --> 00:02:33,625 Now, I see some people out here 46 00:02:33,750 --> 00:02:35,583 looking just confused as heck. 47 00:02:35,667 --> 00:02:37,583 Now, here's somebody here who's just bored to tears. 48 00:02:37,667 --> 00:02:39,875 (WHISPERING) I'm gonna sneak right up on him. Don't tell him. 49 00:02:39,958 --> 00:02:41,167 I'm gonna look at his nametag. 50 00:02:41,292 --> 00:02:43,625 (SHOUTING) Richie! Richie, I caught you! 51 00:02:43,708 --> 00:02:45,083 I caught him. Richie's here, 52 00:02:45,167 --> 00:02:48,000 building a pyramid of sugar cubes. 53 00:02:48,125 --> 00:02:50,792 You made a nice pyramid. That's right. You have good ideas. 54 00:02:50,875 --> 00:02:53,083 You want to do things, you're motivated. That's okay. 55 00:02:53,167 --> 00:02:57,167 But wouldn't you rather work with people than with sugar cubes? 56 00:02:57,292 --> 00:02:58,958 Don't think about it too much. Come here. Just a sec. 57 00:02:59,042 --> 00:03:00,042 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 58 00:03:00,125 --> 00:03:01,208 Come on, help me out here. 59 00:03:01,292 --> 00:03:02,500 Who else we got here? Who's this? 60 00:03:02,625 --> 00:03:05,167 Joe, stand up. Come on here. You're a big guy. 61 00:03:05,292 --> 00:03:06,958 Looks like a hip cat, right? Who else? 62 00:03:07,042 --> 00:03:10,125 Come here, you. You're a big drink of water. Get over here. 63 00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:11,667 Careful, everybody. 64 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,750 Are you supposed to be in a parade, later today? 65 00:03:13,833 --> 00:03:15,750 Nice outfit. Very good. You're lookin' great. 66 00:03:15,833 --> 00:03:18,833 Would you mind getting down on your hands and knees? 67 00:03:18,958 --> 00:03:21,833 Come on, make a move. I don't wanna... I don't have all day. Let's go. 68 00:03:21,958 --> 00:03:24,625 C'mon, these are busy important people, and we don't have all day. 69 00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:26,958 Mike, is it? Will you play our game? Come on. 70 00:03:27,083 --> 00:03:28,208 You ever done this before? 71 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:29,375 It's a big thing in our country. 72 00:03:29,458 --> 00:03:31,625 Get right up on Marion, here, okay? 73 00:03:31,750 --> 00:03:33,083 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 74 00:03:33,167 --> 00:03:34,625 Now, put a knee right in the middle of Marion's back. 75 00:03:34,750 --> 00:03:37,750 Come on. You're gonna love this. You're gonna love this. 76 00:03:37,833 --> 00:03:40,208 Hey, come on, you. You're a mid-size. Getover here. 77 00:03:40,292 --> 00:03:41,833 Get over here, on him. 78 00:03:41,958 --> 00:03:44,667 Get over here. A knee on him. You've seen it before. 79 00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:45,875 Okay, we want an itty-bitty. 80 00:03:45,958 --> 00:03:48,833 Betty, come on. Beth. let's go. Let's go. 81 00:03:48,958 --> 00:03:51,958 No, it's not horsy this time. No, no, I'm sorry. 82 00:03:52,083 --> 00:03:54,000 This isn't the vacation you dreamed of. 83 00:03:54,125 --> 00:03:56,833 Right over here. Let me help you out here now. 84 00:03:56,958 --> 00:03:57,958 (WOMAN SHRIEKING) 85 00:03:58,083 --> 00:03:59,125 Okay. 86 00:03:59,208 --> 00:04:00,250 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 87 00:04:00,333 --> 00:04:02,875 Help me, somebody. 88 00:04:02,958 --> 00:04:06,667 I'm a motivator, not a physical therapist. Get over here. 89 00:04:06,792 --> 00:04:09,625 Look, center. Come on, here. All right, now, all right. 90 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,750 Here, come here. Help me out, here. 91 00:04:12,083 --> 00:04:13,125 Lift her. 92 00:04:13,250 --> 00:04:14,625 Lift her. 93 00:04:14,750 --> 00:04:15,667 Ally... 94 00:04:15,792 --> 00:04:17,875 One, two, three. 95 00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:18,958 (AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING) 96 00:04:19,083 --> 00:04:20,833 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 97 00:04:20,958 --> 00:04:22,875 Is that the kind of thing you were hoping for? 98 00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:24,708 Yeah. 99 00:04:24,792 --> 00:04:27,167 All right. We got men and women working together for the same cause. 100 00:04:27,292 --> 00:04:28,833 And we've built something beautiful. 101 00:04:28,958 --> 00:04:30,458 Let's get this over with in a hurry. 102 00:04:30,542 --> 00:04:32,875 Joe, come on. Hey, pull 'em out here. Hey! All right. 103 00:04:32,958 --> 00:04:34,875 JACK: Whereas my first wife, Gloria, 104 00:04:34,958 --> 00:04:37,708 was a caretaker, codependent, 105 00:04:37,792 --> 00:04:40,917 complainer, my fiancee, Celeste, 106 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,792 will be a caring person, my coequal, 107 00:04:44,292 --> 00:04:46,125 and a celebrator. 108 00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:48,708 I'm graduating from my ABCs 109 00:04:48,792 --> 00:04:51,875 to D, E and F. 110 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:55,208 Deliberate, eliminate, and finish. 111 00:04:55,292 --> 00:04:57,917 ANNOUNCER: Jack Cochran, ladies and gentleman. 112 00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,083 Thank you, Jack. 113 00:04:59,167 --> 00:05:00,917 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 114 00:05:13,625 --> 00:05:15,458 WOMAN: First, on the side. 115 00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:18,750 WOMAN 2: Yes, right on the side, and then the olive. 116 00:05:18,833 --> 00:05:21,458 Always better if you put the parsley on first. 117 00:05:21,583 --> 00:05:22,500 Oh. You see there? 118 00:05:22,625 --> 00:05:24,083 Sweetheart. Hi. 119 00:05:24,167 --> 00:05:26,750 Oh, change out of your suit, honey. 120 00:05:26,833 --> 00:05:29,000 I stopped by your place and got your sports jacket. 121 00:05:29,125 --> 00:05:30,125 Thank you. 122 00:05:30,208 --> 00:05:31,167 (KISSING SOUND) 123 00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,042 He is so cute. 124 00:05:41,833 --> 00:05:43,042 You got three dates coming up. 125 00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:45,125 You got Modesto on the 18th, 126 00:05:45,208 --> 00:05:47,125 the Wall Applications Association. 127 00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:49,792 Is that anything like wallpaper? 128 00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:53,125 Don't... Don't hurt me like that, okay? 129 00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:54,625 I go very deep for you, Jack. 130 00:05:54,750 --> 00:05:58,125 This is when he was a baby. This was when he was in the sixth grade. 131 00:05:58,250 --> 00:06:00,958 On the 21st, the American Sand and Gravel Congress. 132 00:06:01,083 --> 00:06:03,083 Okay, now we are doubling up, because I think 133 00:06:03,167 --> 00:06:05,500 I did the Grit Festival two months ago, didn't I? 134 00:06:05,625 --> 00:06:07,000 Jack, they're not interested in your jokes. 135 00:06:07,125 --> 00:06:08,542 Isn't he gorgeous? 136 00:06:08,625 --> 00:06:10,000 Their entire focus is going to be 137 00:06:10,125 --> 00:06:12,250 on expanding their market share, all right? 138 00:06:12,333 --> 00:06:15,250 Why don't you put your entire focus on getting me some better gigs? 139 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,542 I got you a better gig, all right? 140 00:06:17,625 --> 00:06:20,250 The Investment Strategy Summit, New Orleans. 141 00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:21,917 That could lead to an infomercial. 142 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,500 From your mouth to God's ears, all right? 143 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,083 Oh, listen, 144 00:06:26,167 --> 00:06:27,208 if I may say, 145 00:06:27,292 --> 00:06:30,125 I endorse this engagement fully, all right? 146 00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:33,167 Without family obligations, you're vulnerable to drift. 147 00:06:34,042 --> 00:06:35,833 You are a romantic. 148 00:06:37,625 --> 00:06:39,000 I'm gonna drift. 149 00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:43,125 Jack, she's wonderful. 150 00:06:43,250 --> 00:06:44,250 Great. 151 00:06:44,333 --> 00:06:46,542 Jack, congratulations, you old son-of-a-gun. 152 00:06:46,625 --> 00:06:47,958 Hey, Jack. Way to go. 153 00:06:48,042 --> 00:06:49,875 Hey, Jack, congratulations. Beautiful. 154 00:06:49,958 --> 00:06:51,333 Thank you, moonman, yeah. 155 00:06:54,583 --> 00:06:55,542 (GRUNTING) 156 00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:57,167 Ugh. 157 00:06:58,583 --> 00:07:00,542 These are old. 158 00:07:00,625 --> 00:07:02,958 These are magic animals, Mr. Matt. 159 00:07:03,042 --> 00:07:04,500 MATT: Really? 160 00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,083 My father made these. 161 00:07:06,167 --> 00:07:07,958 Time for telegrams. 162 00:07:08,042 --> 00:07:10,083 "You've only just begun. 163 00:07:10,167 --> 00:07:13,208 "A kiss for luck, and you're on your way. 164 00:07:13,958 --> 00:07:14,917 "Walter." 165 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:17,500 (SIGHING) That's lovely! 166 00:07:17,625 --> 00:07:19,167 It's from a song. 167 00:07:20,083 --> 00:07:21,042 Yeah, I'm here. 168 00:07:21,125 --> 00:07:23,000 "Dear Mr. Corcoran." It's for me. 169 00:07:23,125 --> 00:07:24,250 Hmm! 170 00:07:24,333 --> 00:07:27,625 "We regret to inform you of the death of your father." 171 00:07:28,875 --> 00:07:31,000 Well, this is original, anyway. 172 00:07:31,125 --> 00:07:33,875 (SIGHING) I hope nobody thought that was funny. 173 00:07:33,958 --> 00:07:35,000 Yeah. Hold on a second. 174 00:07:35,125 --> 00:07:38,458 This says he died last month in Maryland. 175 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:41,583 That's... That's not funny. That's not funny at all. Here, let me... 176 00:07:41,667 --> 00:07:42,833 All right. No, wait, wait. 177 00:07:42,958 --> 00:07:45,958 (STUTTERING) "We have been placed in charge of his effects 178 00:07:46,083 --> 00:07:49,167 "and rather large inheritance." We're rich. 179 00:07:49,292 --> 00:07:51,250 "We strongly recommend that you come to our offices 180 00:07:51,333 --> 00:07:53,125 "as soon as possible to claim same. 181 00:07:53,250 --> 00:07:54,875 "Trowbridge Bowers, attorney at law." 182 00:07:54,958 --> 00:07:56,125 Is that true? 183 00:07:56,208 --> 00:07:59,208 No, this is just some kind of bureaucratic bungling. 184 00:07:59,292 --> 00:08:01,500 Don't worry, I'll call 'em tomorrow. 185 00:08:01,625 --> 00:08:03,083 That's all right, you don't need to call a lawyer 186 00:08:03,167 --> 00:08:05,042 and tell him your husband died 40 years ago. 187 00:08:05,125 --> 00:08:07,125 I'll call them and tell them we'll take the inheritance, though. 188 00:08:07,208 --> 00:08:08,667 Just let me do it, Jackie, please. 189 00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:10,000 Oh! 190 00:08:13,625 --> 00:08:15,583 Are you all right? 191 00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:18,208 Of course. I'm always all right. 192 00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:23,042 You haven't called me Jackie since I was a little kid. 193 00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:25,167 Mom. 194 00:08:27,250 --> 00:08:29,917 Mom, you just can't say, 195 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:33,000 "Okay, maybe he hasn't been dead all these years. 196 00:08:33,125 --> 00:08:34,542 "Let's do the dishes." 197 00:08:35,667 --> 00:08:37,125 Well, what can I say? 198 00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:38,625 You can't say that. 199 00:08:38,708 --> 00:08:40,458 Jackie, just calm down. 200 00:08:40,583 --> 00:08:42,583 I had a dad all these years and I didn't know it, 201 00:08:42,667 --> 00:08:44,083 and now that I know it, I don't have one. 202 00:08:44,167 --> 00:08:48,000 Jack? Jack, why don't we go in... 203 00:08:48,125 --> 00:08:49,958 Am I crazy? Am I crazy? 204 00:08:50,042 --> 00:08:51,083 (TAP CLOSING) 205 00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:52,708 I left him, Jack. 206 00:08:52,792 --> 00:08:54,458 I left him, and I took you with me, 207 00:08:54,583 --> 00:08:57,250 and I didn't tell him where we were going. 208 00:08:58,042 --> 00:08:59,000 Did he beat you? 209 00:08:59,125 --> 00:09:00,500 No, he didn't beat me. 210 00:09:00,625 --> 00:09:01,667 Was he a criminal, or something? 211 00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:03,125 No, he wasn't a criminal. 212 00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:05,708 Well then, tell me, Mom, what was he? 213 00:09:05,792 --> 00:09:08,042 He was irresponsible! 214 00:09:08,125 --> 00:09:09,167 (LAUGHS) 215 00:09:09,292 --> 00:09:10,917 Irresponsible? 216 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,708 He wouldn't hold down a job. 217 00:09:12,792 --> 00:09:15,208 He kept moving us from one place to another. 218 00:09:15,292 --> 00:09:18,917 I couldn't count on a man like that when I had a baby. 219 00:09:20,667 --> 00:09:22,125 He was irresponsible, so you killed him. 220 00:09:22,208 --> 00:09:23,125 Oh, Jack. 221 00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:24,625 Jack, Jack. She didn't kill him. 222 00:09:24,708 --> 00:09:26,750 She did kill him. She drowned him. 223 00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:29,667 I couldn't have him influencing you. 224 00:09:29,792 --> 00:09:32,458 Boys learn from their fathers. 225 00:09:32,583 --> 00:09:34,583 I'll have to take your word on that. 226 00:09:35,292 --> 00:09:36,250 Jack! 227 00:09:36,333 --> 00:09:37,458 (DOOR OPENING) 228 00:09:37,583 --> 00:09:38,625 (DOOR CLOSING) 229 00:09:38,750 --> 00:09:40,458 Did I do something wrong? 230 00:09:40,583 --> 00:09:41,542 (SIGHS) 231 00:09:42,208 --> 00:09:43,583 Let him walk it off. 232 00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:52,125 (DOOR CLOSING) 233 00:09:54,042 --> 00:09:55,708 Yes. Yes, I'm on hold. 234 00:09:55,792 --> 00:09:57,083 Mmm-hmm. 235 00:09:57,167 --> 00:10:00,958 Excuse me, I'm looking for Trowbridge Bowers, attorney at law. 236 00:10:02,792 --> 00:10:04,625 My name is Jack Corcoran. 237 00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:05,958 Your people sent me this. 238 00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:08,542 (WHISPERING) You're him. 239 00:10:08,625 --> 00:10:11,167 Mr. Bowers, it's the son. 240 00:10:12,625 --> 00:10:13,667 Yes? 241 00:10:14,125 --> 00:10:15,125 Ah. 242 00:10:15,208 --> 00:10:17,750 Well, Mr. Corcoran, at last. 243 00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:18,917 Come in. Come in. 244 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:22,125 Nice to meet you, under difficult circumstances, son. 245 00:10:22,250 --> 00:10:24,250 Have the... brought around now. 246 00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:25,667 Sit down. Sit down. 247 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,542 All right, sir. Ha. 248 00:10:27,625 --> 00:10:29,250 Took a while to find you. 249 00:10:29,792 --> 00:10:30,958 Heh, heh. 250 00:10:31,083 --> 00:10:33,083 ATTORNEY: I know this came as a shock. 251 00:10:33,167 --> 00:10:35,083 Mr. Bowers, I never knew my father. 252 00:10:35,167 --> 00:10:36,625 Nor did I. 253 00:10:36,708 --> 00:10:38,083 Heart attack. 254 00:10:38,167 --> 00:10:40,708 Happened to be passing through town. 255 00:10:40,792 --> 00:10:44,042 Since I represent the facility where he was appearing, 256 00:10:44,125 --> 00:10:47,042 it fell to me to take charge 257 00:10:47,125 --> 00:10:48,667 of his effects. 258 00:10:48,792 --> 00:10:50,167 Appearing? 259 00:10:50,708 --> 00:10:52,000 This 260 00:10:52,125 --> 00:10:53,792 should clarify. 261 00:10:56,083 --> 00:10:57,958 My father was a giant? 262 00:10:58,083 --> 00:11:00,792 We saved his nose. Here. 263 00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:04,792 (SQUEAKING) 264 00:11:04,875 --> 00:11:06,167 I had a clown for a dad? 265 00:11:06,292 --> 00:11:09,708 And a very jolly one, I understand. Traveled with a small circus. 266 00:11:09,792 --> 00:11:12,625 When he passed away, the caravan moved on. 267 00:11:12,708 --> 00:11:15,667 Now, Mr. Corcoran, as to your bequest. 268 00:11:15,792 --> 00:11:18,833 There's a rather substantial dollar figure involved. 269 00:11:20,292 --> 00:11:21,792 I'm over it. 270 00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:23,875 How much? 271 00:11:23,958 --> 00:11:26,750 Marcy, can you bring in Mr. Corcoran's papers, please? 272 00:11:27,917 --> 00:11:29,750 Thank you. 273 00:11:29,833 --> 00:11:32,125 Right here, Mr. Corcoran, 274 00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:34,625 is the amount. 275 00:11:35,292 --> 00:11:37,833 $35,000? 276 00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:40,208 Well, thanks, Dad, for something. 277 00:11:40,292 --> 00:11:41,792 What? Do I have to sign something? 278 00:11:41,917 --> 00:11:43,792 Yes, right there. 279 00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:48,250 Marcy, if you'll witness, please. 280 00:11:53,167 --> 00:11:55,250 ATTORNEY: Now, forgive me for asking, 281 00:11:55,333 --> 00:11:58,708 but this is a great deal of money. 282 00:11:58,792 --> 00:12:01,625 How will you be paying the 35,000? 283 00:12:01,708 --> 00:12:04,667 What? Wait a minute. Me, pay you? 284 00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:06,625 My fee, property damage, upkeep... 285 00:12:06,708 --> 00:12:08,125 Upkeep of a trunk? 286 00:12:08,250 --> 00:12:10,625 (ELEPHANT TRUMPETING) 287 00:12:10,708 --> 00:12:13,167 There is the bulk of your inheritance. 288 00:12:14,625 --> 00:12:15,792 (TRUMPETS) 289 00:12:15,917 --> 00:12:17,083 Oh, no. 290 00:12:17,583 --> 00:12:18,792 I don't want it. 291 00:12:18,917 --> 00:12:20,625 Why would the man leave me an elephant? 292 00:12:20,708 --> 00:12:22,125 UNIFORMED MAN: Hey, hey, come back here! 293 00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:23,167 (GATE CLANKING) 294 00:12:23,292 --> 00:12:24,458 (WOMAN SCREAMING) 295 00:12:24,583 --> 00:12:25,708 There's your property damage. 296 00:12:25,792 --> 00:12:26,958 ATTORNEY: It hates fences. 297 00:12:27,042 --> 00:12:30,083 Well, I'm not paying for what somebody's elephant does. 298 00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:32,625 I'll take this. 299 00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:34,542 My father never gave me enough toys anyway. 300 00:12:34,625 --> 00:12:36,625 Mr. Corcoran, I am not in the elephant business. 301 00:12:36,708 --> 00:12:38,833 Well, you ain't much of a lawyer, either. This can't be legal. 302 00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:40,583 Signed and witnessed. Uh-huh. 303 00:12:40,667 --> 00:12:43,625 I was misled. I am not responsible. 304 00:12:43,750 --> 00:12:45,125 And I am outta here. 305 00:12:45,250 --> 00:12:46,833 You'll be hearing from my mother. 306 00:12:46,958 --> 00:12:49,125 Mr. Corcoran, I love litigation. 307 00:12:49,250 --> 00:12:50,208 (SCOFFING) 308 00:12:50,958 --> 00:12:52,208 (CAR ALARM WAILING) 309 00:12:54,833 --> 00:12:57,500 It's out again. Get off the street. 310 00:12:59,167 --> 00:13:01,500 It's yours! It's him! 311 00:13:01,625 --> 00:13:03,083 MAN: He's that elephant man! 312 00:13:03,167 --> 00:13:05,125 GIRL: It should be in a zoo. 313 00:13:05,250 --> 00:13:07,125 Hope you got insurance, pal. 314 00:13:07,208 --> 00:13:08,250 WOMAN: You should both be in a zoo. 315 00:13:08,333 --> 00:13:09,542 Take it outta here! 316 00:13:09,625 --> 00:13:10,875 Yeah, get it outta here. 317 00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:14,125 JACK: Nice town, nice people. 318 00:13:16,625 --> 00:13:17,625 (GROWLING) 319 00:13:20,208 --> 00:13:21,750 (TRUMPETING) 320 00:13:21,833 --> 00:13:23,750 (LIFE IS A CARNIVAL PLAYING) 321 00:13:23,833 --> 00:13:26,125 * You can walk on the water 322 00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:27,792 * Drown in the sand 323 00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:28,875 Ahh! 324 00:13:28,958 --> 00:13:30,375 (ELEPHANT TRUMPETS) 325 00:13:30,458 --> 00:13:33,750 * You can fly off the mountaintop, if anybody can 326 00:13:33,833 --> 00:13:36,792 * Run away, run away 327 00:13:36,875 --> 00:13:38,875 * It's the restless age 328 00:13:38,958 --> 00:13:41,750 * Look away, look away 329 00:13:41,833 --> 00:13:43,125 JACK: Move or die! 330 00:13:43,250 --> 00:13:44,208 Whoa! 331 00:13:45,875 --> 00:13:46,917 (MAN HOLLERING) 332 00:13:47,625 --> 00:13:49,208 Heads up! Heads up! 333 00:13:49,292 --> 00:13:50,625 (WOMAN SCREAMING) 334 00:13:50,750 --> 00:13:51,917 (PEOPLE ARGUING) 335 00:13:56,292 --> 00:13:58,167 (BELLOWING) 336 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,542 (PANTING) 337 00:14:13,667 --> 00:14:14,625 (GASPS) 338 00:14:14,958 --> 00:14:16,625 Stay! Stay! 339 00:14:16,708 --> 00:14:17,625 (ELEPHANT GRUMBLING) 340 00:14:17,750 --> 00:14:19,167 Sit! Uh-oh. Uh-oh. 341 00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:20,750 Oh! 342 00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:22,667 (TRUMPETS) 343 00:14:23,792 --> 00:14:24,958 (GRUMBLES) 344 00:14:32,083 --> 00:14:33,542 (ELEPHANT WHINES) 345 00:14:36,958 --> 00:14:38,750 (CAR APPROACHING) 346 00:14:42,292 --> 00:14:44,792 POLICE RADIO: ...in the park, multiple citizen reports of 347 00:14:44,875 --> 00:14:46,750 an elephant running loose... 348 00:14:46,833 --> 00:14:48,750 POLICEMAN: Gonna have to get your elephant out of town, sir. 349 00:14:48,833 --> 00:14:50,125 It's not my elephant. 350 00:14:50,250 --> 00:14:52,875 I was defrauded. I want to lodge a complaint. 351 00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:54,833 Oh, you weasel-faced shyster. 352 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,417 JACK: Come on out. 353 00:14:57,500 --> 00:15:00,792 If you don't take charge of that elephant, you're going to jail. 354 00:15:00,917 --> 00:15:04,917 I've got to make speeches in Modesto, Tampa, and New Orleans. 355 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,000 I've got an apartment with a no-pet clause. 356 00:15:07,125 --> 00:15:08,833 I'll slap a lien on that dwelling 357 00:15:08,958 --> 00:15:10,750 and garnish your fees for those speeches. 358 00:15:10,833 --> 00:15:13,875 And if you don't pay me $35,000 in 14 days, 359 00:15:13,958 --> 00:15:16,250 you might as well pitch a tent in our little courtroom. 360 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:17,917 You well-dressed worm, get outta there. 361 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,917 Slide outta there, will you, please? 362 00:15:20,958 --> 00:15:22,458 Folks in this town used to think 363 00:15:22,583 --> 00:15:24,625 we hated New Yorkers more than anything. 364 00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:26,208 Now they run a close second to elephants. 365 00:15:26,292 --> 00:15:27,958 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 366 00:15:33,583 --> 00:15:34,667 Not now. 367 00:15:37,125 --> 00:15:38,833 It's your mommy. Uh-huh. 368 00:15:39,958 --> 00:15:41,917 (TWO-WAY RADIO WARBLES) 369 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,750 Is there any way I could get back to you? 370 00:15:44,833 --> 00:15:47,250 No, you don't know him. He's a new friend. 371 00:15:47,333 --> 00:15:48,458 Ahem. 372 00:15:48,583 --> 00:15:49,542 I've gotta go. 373 00:15:49,625 --> 00:15:50,667 (PHONE BEEPS) 374 00:15:50,792 --> 00:15:51,875 (ELEPHANT GRUNTING) 375 00:15:57,958 --> 00:16:00,042 I believe your elephant likes you. 376 00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:03,042 I believe you remind that elephant of your old man. 377 00:16:04,125 --> 00:16:06,667 Didn't my father leave any instructions for this? 378 00:16:06,792 --> 00:16:08,958 Ask the well-dressed worm. 379 00:16:09,042 --> 00:16:11,750 Here's the will, for what it's worth. 380 00:16:11,833 --> 00:16:12,958 (ENGINE STARTS) 381 00:16:13,792 --> 00:16:14,833 What's its name? 382 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,083 ATTORNEY: Vera. 383 00:16:19,125 --> 00:16:20,625 Oh, my God. 384 00:16:21,792 --> 00:16:23,875 He named it after my mother. 385 00:16:23,958 --> 00:16:25,792 (GROANING) 386 00:16:27,958 --> 00:16:30,750 "To Jackie. I know I haven't been the best father." 387 00:16:30,833 --> 00:16:34,292 Dad, shouldn't this read, "I've been no father at all"? 388 00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:37,792 "But do me one favor, Son." Sure. 389 00:16:38,625 --> 00:16:40,042 "Take care of her. 390 00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:42,083 "If stuck, 391 00:16:42,833 --> 00:16:44,042 "call blockhead. 392 00:16:44,958 --> 00:16:45,958 "K.C." 393 00:16:46,042 --> 00:16:47,625 That's a nice touch. 394 00:16:47,708 --> 00:16:50,917 Last words to me, and you sign off with your initials. 395 00:16:52,125 --> 00:16:54,750 "Call blockhead." What's that supposed to mean? 396 00:16:54,833 --> 00:16:56,625 Call Vera "blockhead"? Blockhead. 397 00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:57,750 (SNORTING) 398 00:16:57,833 --> 00:16:59,667 Don't get huffy, now, that was 399 00:16:59,792 --> 00:17:02,542 Dad's sole piece of advice. 400 00:17:04,125 --> 00:17:06,958 Where would you dump an elephant? The zoo. 401 00:17:07,792 --> 00:17:09,042 (PHONE DIALING) 402 00:17:10,125 --> 00:17:11,083 (PHONE RINGING) 403 00:17:11,958 --> 00:17:13,750 Yes, information? 404 00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:15,042 Can I have the number of the local... 405 00:17:15,125 --> 00:17:16,125 (VERA GRUMBLING) 406 00:17:16,208 --> 00:17:17,542 Hey. 407 00:17:17,625 --> 00:17:18,583 (DIAL TONE BEGINS) Hey! What... 408 00:17:18,667 --> 00:17:19,667 (PHONE DIALING) 409 00:17:19,792 --> 00:17:21,083 (VERA MURMURING) 410 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:25,875 Oh, he taught you that one, huh? Very nice little trick. 411 00:17:25,958 --> 00:17:27,917 All right, wise guy, give it to me. 412 00:17:28,708 --> 00:17:29,708 Mmm... 413 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,667 Mmm-hmm. Uh. 414 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,542 (TRUMPETS) 415 00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:36,625 Give it to me. 416 00:17:37,875 --> 00:17:39,000 (GROWLS) 417 00:17:41,833 --> 00:17:43,625 Okay. All right. 418 00:17:43,708 --> 00:17:46,083 Put it down now. Step on it. 419 00:17:52,917 --> 00:17:54,542 What is your problem? 420 00:17:54,625 --> 00:17:55,625 (SNORTS) 421 00:18:05,875 --> 00:18:07,583 Great. 422 00:18:07,667 --> 00:18:09,667 Great. Come on. Let's go. 423 00:18:12,708 --> 00:18:13,792 Hey! 424 00:18:14,958 --> 00:18:16,917 Wait up. Wait up there. 425 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,792 * As I walk down the street 426 00:18:19,917 --> 00:18:24,125 * Seems everyone I meet gives me a friendly hello * 427 00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:25,792 I saw your show. 428 00:18:25,875 --> 00:18:27,042 It's not my show. 429 00:18:27,125 --> 00:18:28,792 You're not the clown? 430 00:18:28,917 --> 00:18:30,125 He was my... 431 00:18:31,250 --> 00:18:33,042 JACK: Think you could direct me to the local zoo? 432 00:18:33,125 --> 00:18:35,750 BOY: You should've seen that clown get it to do tricks, 433 00:18:35,833 --> 00:18:37,042 just with all different whistles. 434 00:18:37,125 --> 00:18:38,625 Whistles? 435 00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:39,708 Stop! 436 00:18:39,792 --> 00:18:40,958 (JACK WHISTLING) Find a pay phone. 437 00:18:41,042 --> 00:18:41,958 (WHISTLING) 438 00:18:42,042 --> 00:18:43,625 The zoo is a couple of miles from here. 439 00:18:43,708 --> 00:18:44,708 Really? 440 00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:47,792 MAN: I don't have the space here. 441 00:18:47,917 --> 00:18:50,750 My mission is small animals. 442 00:18:50,833 --> 00:18:54,000 Haven't you ever seen a petting zoo before? 443 00:18:54,125 --> 00:18:55,958 Is that yours? Could you get it off me, please? 444 00:18:56,083 --> 00:18:57,042 Johnny, shoo. 445 00:18:57,125 --> 00:18:58,125 Get off of me. 446 00:18:58,250 --> 00:19:00,042 Johnny, shoo. Shoo. 447 00:19:00,125 --> 00:19:01,875 Shoo. Shoo. 448 00:19:01,958 --> 00:19:03,625 Shoo, Johnny. Johnny, shoo. 449 00:19:03,708 --> 00:19:05,125 Throw something bigger. 450 00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:07,125 Shoo! Thank you. 451 00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:11,125 JACK: Can you recommend a facility that takes animals of this size? 452 00:19:11,958 --> 00:19:13,083 (MOTOR RUNNING) 453 00:19:15,042 --> 00:19:17,833 MAN: Three hundred bucks is what pops into my mind. 454 00:19:17,958 --> 00:19:21,042 Three hundred? That's a little steep for one night, don't you think? 455 00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:24,708 Compared to what? 456 00:19:25,125 --> 00:19:26,708 Compared to The Ritz. 457 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,250 So, go there. 458 00:19:42,958 --> 00:19:43,958 (SNIFFING) 459 00:19:45,292 --> 00:19:46,625 (GRUMBLING) 460 00:19:47,125 --> 00:19:48,083 (NOSE SQUEAKING) 461 00:20:05,750 --> 00:20:07,000 (WHISPERS) Wow. 462 00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:11,625 Back roads all across the country. 463 00:20:12,208 --> 00:20:13,792 What a life. 464 00:20:24,125 --> 00:20:25,792 And that will. 465 00:20:29,958 --> 00:20:31,500 "Call blockhead. 466 00:20:32,958 --> 00:20:34,125 "K.C." 467 00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:36,458 Hello, Mom. I was kidnapped. 468 00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:39,750 I just got off the phone with Trowbridge Bowers. 469 00:20:39,833 --> 00:20:41,000 How is Mr. Bowers? 470 00:20:41,125 --> 00:20:45,083 He's wondering how you were going to come up with $35,000. 471 00:20:45,167 --> 00:20:46,250 Sell Vera for dog food. 472 00:20:46,333 --> 00:20:48,083 Is that supposed to be funny? 473 00:20:48,167 --> 00:20:50,042 Mom, Vera is the elephant. 474 00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:52,000 Oh, my God. 475 00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:54,167 How is that supposed to make me feel? 476 00:20:54,292 --> 00:20:56,833 Mom, in the will he mentioned somebody 477 00:20:56,958 --> 00:20:58,667 from Kansas City. 478 00:20:58,792 --> 00:21:01,750 Yeah, yeah, yeah, the human blockhead, 479 00:21:01,833 --> 00:21:03,083 Vernon Sawitsky. 480 00:21:03,167 --> 00:21:04,833 The human blockhead? 481 00:21:05,292 --> 00:21:06,917 Be home, Vernon. 482 00:21:07,167 --> 00:21:08,167 Be home. 483 00:21:08,917 --> 00:21:09,792 WOMAN: Hello? 484 00:21:09,917 --> 00:21:11,792 Hello, may I speak with Vernon, please? 485 00:21:11,875 --> 00:21:14,000 Gone to bed. Can I get a number? 486 00:21:14,125 --> 00:21:18,500 Aw! I'm at area code 410, Klingman 5... 487 00:21:18,958 --> 00:21:20,750 87-56. 488 00:21:20,833 --> 00:21:22,125 Who is this? 489 00:21:22,208 --> 00:21:24,125 Oh, I'm Kirby's son. 490 00:21:24,208 --> 00:21:25,875 Oh, hello! 491 00:21:25,958 --> 00:21:27,208 Hello. 492 00:21:27,292 --> 00:21:28,625 (RECEIVER CLICKING) 493 00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:34,083 Where am I gonna find a zoo open at this hour? 494 00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:36,167 The West Coast, perhaps. 495 00:21:36,292 --> 00:21:37,458 (PHONE KEYS BEEPING) 496 00:21:37,583 --> 00:21:39,167 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 497 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:40,958 Yeah? 498 00:21:41,083 --> 00:21:42,708 Mo, in elephants? Yeah. 499 00:21:42,792 --> 00:21:45,875 Oh, I'm sorry, for a second there, you sounded like a woman. 500 00:21:45,958 --> 00:21:48,875 I just got an elephant all of a sudden, and everyone... 501 00:21:48,958 --> 00:21:51,792 All the zoos say, "Talk to Mo in San Diego." 502 00:21:51,875 --> 00:21:53,292 Did Terry put you up to this? 503 00:21:53,417 --> 00:21:55,208 Terry tries to snake up every elephant that comes my way. 504 00:21:55,292 --> 00:21:57,208 Who's Terry? 505 00:21:57,292 --> 00:22:00,000 Whoa, put that down. Put it down. 506 00:22:00,125 --> 00:22:01,750 Oh! Down, Vera! 507 00:22:01,833 --> 00:22:03,750 (WHISTLING) Down! 508 00:22:03,833 --> 00:22:05,875 Down! (WHISTLING) 509 00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:07,833 My elephant just picked up a V.W. bug. 510 00:22:07,958 --> 00:22:08,958 I don't have time for this. 511 00:22:09,042 --> 00:22:10,208 You don't? Vera! 512 00:22:10,292 --> 00:22:11,500 (WHISTLES) 513 00:22:12,333 --> 00:22:13,625 She put it down. 514 00:22:13,750 --> 00:22:16,542 My name is Jack Corcoran, and I just inherited an elephant 515 00:22:16,625 --> 00:22:19,792 from my father the clown, and I was wondering, 516 00:22:19,917 --> 00:22:21,875 do you happen to know anybody who needs an elephant? 517 00:22:21,958 --> 00:22:24,500 If you're on the level, Jack, I happen to need one myself. 518 00:22:24,625 --> 00:22:26,000 Not that it's any of your beeswax, 519 00:22:26,125 --> 00:22:29,042 but on the 24th of this month I'm sending a small herd down to Sri Lanka, 520 00:22:29,125 --> 00:22:31,000 for a gene-pool experiment. 521 00:22:31,125 --> 00:22:32,750 Air force is allowing us to piggyback 522 00:22:32,833 --> 00:22:34,917 on one of their humanitarian missions. 523 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,542 You got a breeding-age female? 524 00:22:36,625 --> 00:22:39,792 Well, I think she would have to be. Her name is Vera. 525 00:22:39,875 --> 00:22:41,292 My name's Mo. 526 00:22:41,375 --> 00:22:44,542 If male elephants are anything like male police horses, she's a female. 527 00:22:44,625 --> 00:22:47,500 Do me a favor. Look at the bottom of her foot and tell me if it's wrinkled. 528 00:22:47,625 --> 00:22:49,000 How am I supposed to look at the bottom... 529 00:22:49,125 --> 00:22:50,458 If you don't know how to do that, sir, 530 00:22:50,542 --> 00:22:52,000 you don't have any business being with an elephant. 531 00:22:52,125 --> 00:22:53,583 I have no business being with an elephant. 532 00:22:53,667 --> 00:22:56,167 Oh, wait a second. Hold on. I know this one. 533 00:22:57,167 --> 00:22:58,500 Vera. 534 00:23:00,833 --> 00:23:02,583 What is your problem? 535 00:23:03,083 --> 00:23:04,042 (VERA GRUNTS) 536 00:23:04,625 --> 00:23:05,917 Heh. Heh, heh. 537 00:23:08,333 --> 00:23:10,542 Good. Okay. At ease. At ease. 538 00:23:10,625 --> 00:23:11,792 (VERA GRUMBLES) 539 00:23:14,125 --> 00:23:15,458 It's incredibly smooth. 540 00:23:15,583 --> 00:23:18,875 Excellent! Means she's young enough to breed. Where are you? 541 00:23:18,958 --> 00:23:20,542 I'm in a junkyard in Maryland. 542 00:23:20,625 --> 00:23:22,625 A junkyard? Get her outta there. 543 00:23:22,708 --> 00:23:24,958 (LAUGHING) Well, you know what? The Hilton's all booked up. 544 00:23:25,083 --> 00:23:27,583 I'll tell you what, you bring her here, I'll give you $30,000 for her. 545 00:23:27,667 --> 00:23:31,458 How about this? You come here and get her, and you give me $36,000. 546 00:23:31,583 --> 00:23:32,500 I can't go that high. 547 00:23:32,625 --> 00:23:34,083 Well, I can't get her that far. 548 00:23:34,167 --> 00:23:35,208 Bring her by rail. 549 00:23:35,292 --> 00:23:36,667 How am I gonna get an elephant to take a train? 550 00:23:36,792 --> 00:23:39,917 You don't make an elephant do anything, sir. You treat it with respect. 551 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,625 You show her that you care, and she'll wanna take the train. 552 00:23:42,708 --> 00:23:44,875 Excuse me, I just gotta brush away a tear here. 553 00:23:44,958 --> 00:23:47,208 Dare I ask if you're even feeding her properly? 554 00:23:47,292 --> 00:23:51,083 Do you know that an elephant needs 200 pounds of grains, fruits and vegetables a day, 555 00:23:51,167 --> 00:23:53,875 not to mention at least 25 gallons of water. 556 00:23:53,958 --> 00:23:55,833 Mo, I don't eat that well, okay? 557 00:23:55,958 --> 00:23:58,125 Now look, can you come up with 34,000? 558 00:23:58,208 --> 00:24:02,958 Listen to me. The herd is leaving on the 24th, with or without her. 559 00:24:03,083 --> 00:24:05,125 I'm probably gonna have to entertain some other offers. 560 00:24:05,208 --> 00:24:07,500 I'm probably gonna talk to Roy of Siegfried and Roy. 561 00:24:07,625 --> 00:24:08,875 (DIAL TONE) 562 00:24:08,958 --> 00:24:10,000 Hello? 563 00:24:11,292 --> 00:24:13,625 Pleasure chatting, Mo. 564 00:24:14,250 --> 00:24:15,250 (DOG BARKING) 565 00:24:15,333 --> 00:24:16,500 Dah! 566 00:24:17,958 --> 00:24:19,875 Be my friend, please. 567 00:24:22,333 --> 00:24:25,042 (TRUMPETING) 568 00:24:25,708 --> 00:24:27,250 No, come on back. 569 00:24:27,333 --> 00:24:30,625 Come on back, Mr. Tough Junkyard. 570 00:24:30,708 --> 00:24:32,875 You want some of me? Stay outta this. Stay out of this, Vera. 571 00:24:32,958 --> 00:24:34,167 Want some of me? 572 00:24:39,667 --> 00:24:41,500 (THUNDER CLAPPING) 573 00:24:53,625 --> 00:24:55,042 (THUNDER CLAPS) Ahh! 574 00:24:56,625 --> 00:24:57,625 Wah! 575 00:24:57,708 --> 00:24:59,000 (PANTING) 576 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,000 Ah! 577 00:25:11,583 --> 00:25:13,208 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 578 00:25:26,792 --> 00:25:27,917 Is this Vernon? 579 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:30,625 VERNON: Oh, Kirby, I declare. 580 00:25:31,667 --> 00:25:33,500 I'm sure sorry to hear that. 581 00:25:33,625 --> 00:25:36,583 I knew Kirby as well as anyone, I guess, outside of Vera, of course. 582 00:25:36,667 --> 00:25:39,917 Oh, now don't you spill Grandpa's coffee, baby boop! 583 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:41,042 (BOTH LAUGHING) 584 00:25:41,125 --> 00:25:42,958 You managed to have a career and family. 585 00:25:43,083 --> 00:25:44,167 Yeah, it wasn't hard. 586 00:25:44,292 --> 00:25:46,625 So, can you just tell me how to handle her? 587 00:25:46,750 --> 00:25:50,125 Well, son, I couldn't begin to show you that over the telephone. 588 00:25:50,208 --> 00:25:52,000 Why don't you come to see us in Kansas City? 589 00:25:52,125 --> 00:25:53,542 Come see you? 590 00:25:53,625 --> 00:25:55,625 Well, I'll tell you what. If I'm in Kansas City, 591 00:25:55,708 --> 00:25:57,208 I definitely will come by and see you. 592 00:25:57,292 --> 00:25:59,292 Say hi to Mrs. Blockhead. 593 00:26:01,167 --> 00:26:04,667 She didn't break your fence. She leaned on it. 594 00:26:04,792 --> 00:26:07,625 And your dog doesn't have a scratch on it. 595 00:26:08,792 --> 00:26:10,083 (WHIMPERS) 596 00:26:10,167 --> 00:26:11,792 Yeah, but his spirit's broke. 597 00:26:11,875 --> 00:26:16,000 MAN ON TV: At the age of 32, this one man, Anthony Robbins, 598 00:26:16,125 --> 00:26:17,958 has helped over a million people 599 00:26:18,083 --> 00:26:20,667 dramatically improve the quality of their lives. 600 00:26:20,792 --> 00:26:22,042 Recognized by Time... 601 00:26:22,125 --> 00:26:23,792 The guy changed my life. Hmm! 602 00:26:25,833 --> 00:26:29,625 JACK: Too bad. There's a sign, "No shoes, no shirt, no service." 603 00:26:29,750 --> 00:26:31,500 Just deal with it, okay? 604 00:26:34,333 --> 00:26:35,750 All right. 605 00:26:35,833 --> 00:26:37,667 Stop when you get to 25 gallons. 606 00:26:37,792 --> 00:26:38,750 (GULPS) 607 00:26:38,833 --> 00:26:40,500 That's one. 608 00:26:42,250 --> 00:26:43,250 How much is your salad bar? 609 00:26:43,333 --> 00:26:44,458 4.95. 610 00:26:44,583 --> 00:26:46,042 I mean, the entire salad bar. 611 00:26:46,125 --> 00:26:47,750 Your lunch crowd is over anyway, right? 612 00:26:47,833 --> 00:26:49,042 (TRUMPETING) 613 00:26:52,583 --> 00:26:53,542 To go, please. 614 00:26:53,917 --> 00:26:55,583 There you go. 615 00:26:55,667 --> 00:26:56,792 (LIFE IS A CARNIVAL PLAYING) 616 00:26:56,875 --> 00:26:59,125 There you go. 617 00:26:59,250 --> 00:27:02,042 Touch the lettuce please, don't touch me. 618 00:27:02,125 --> 00:27:03,458 Don't touch me! 619 00:27:03,583 --> 00:27:04,583 (TRAIN HORN BLOWING) 620 00:27:04,667 --> 00:27:06,667 * We're all in the same boat 621 00:27:06,792 --> 00:27:10,208 * Ready to float off the edge of the world 622 00:27:11,250 --> 00:27:12,792 * The flat old world 623 00:27:14,458 --> 00:27:19,167 * The street is a sideshow from the peddler to the corner girl 624 00:27:20,625 --> 00:27:22,625 (VERA TRUMPETING) 625 00:27:22,750 --> 00:27:25,542 * Life is a carnival 626 00:27:25,625 --> 00:27:28,458 * Life is a carnival 627 00:27:28,583 --> 00:27:29,792 You the guy called about the elephant? 628 00:27:29,875 --> 00:27:31,208 Elephant? 629 00:27:31,708 --> 00:27:33,125 Ah! 630 00:27:34,583 --> 00:27:36,083 Yeah. 631 00:27:36,167 --> 00:27:38,500 JACK: That's great. That is wonderful. 632 00:27:38,625 --> 00:27:40,750 But that is not what I asked for. 633 00:27:40,833 --> 00:27:44,083 Put your nose down, and come on up into the car. 634 00:27:44,167 --> 00:27:48,042 Here's Kirby's trunk. Come on, let's go. On three. One, two, three. 635 00:27:48,125 --> 00:27:49,167 (WHISTLES) 636 00:27:50,875 --> 00:27:52,042 No! 637 00:27:52,333 --> 00:27:53,708 No, God! 638 00:27:53,792 --> 00:27:55,833 No, this is not the right thing. 639 00:27:55,958 --> 00:27:58,833 This is the wrong thing. We did this already. 640 00:27:58,958 --> 00:28:02,583 No, don't sit down. Please, don't sit down. Please. 641 00:28:02,667 --> 00:28:06,792 No, don't sit down. Stand up. You can sit down in the car. 642 00:28:06,917 --> 00:28:08,542 Come on. God. 643 00:28:08,625 --> 00:28:11,625 MAN: Well, clip my mane, and call me baldy. 644 00:28:11,708 --> 00:28:13,667 What is this here? 645 00:28:15,708 --> 00:28:17,667 What does this here look like? 646 00:28:18,292 --> 00:28:20,167 This here is an elephant. 647 00:28:21,583 --> 00:28:23,458 Dead? Not on my train. 648 00:28:23,583 --> 00:28:26,625 She's not dead. She's just stubborn. She's just impossible. 649 00:28:27,167 --> 00:28:29,458 Oh, get up, dammit. 650 00:28:29,583 --> 00:28:32,292 Get up, Vera! Vera! 651 00:28:33,250 --> 00:28:35,625 Your train? Who are you? 652 00:28:35,708 --> 00:28:37,042 Hurst. 653 00:28:37,125 --> 00:28:38,500 And I haven't approved this. 654 00:28:38,625 --> 00:28:40,208 But I called and arranged everything. 655 00:28:40,292 --> 00:28:42,083 Oh, you arranged with the local fellow. 656 00:28:42,167 --> 00:28:44,833 You didn't arrange with the train, and you didn't arrange with me. 657 00:28:44,958 --> 00:28:46,625 You want me to take responsibility 658 00:28:46,708 --> 00:28:49,583 for a tipped-over elephant, all the way to San Diego? 659 00:28:50,583 --> 00:28:52,208 First, 660 00:28:52,292 --> 00:28:54,542 she's not gonna stay tipped over. 661 00:28:54,625 --> 00:28:55,875 (LAUGHING) So you say. 662 00:28:57,708 --> 00:28:58,542 Second... 663 00:28:58,625 --> 00:29:01,042 Every state line has laws and inspections. 664 00:29:01,125 --> 00:29:04,125 Which means at every state line, my job is on the line. 665 00:29:04,250 --> 00:29:07,250 Now, I get terminated now, my pension's only 13,500. 666 00:29:07,333 --> 00:29:09,083 I make it to retirement, and it's 28,000. 667 00:29:09,167 --> 00:29:12,125 Take that, and factor in all this... Let's see. 668 00:29:12,208 --> 00:29:15,542 Kansas, Colorado, Nevada, and that's... 669 00:29:16,167 --> 00:29:17,500 2,600! 670 00:29:18,125 --> 00:29:19,125 (WHISTLES) 671 00:29:19,250 --> 00:29:21,750 Now, you got 30 seconds, friend. 672 00:29:21,833 --> 00:29:23,458 We're gonna roll, 673 00:29:23,583 --> 00:29:25,167 with him or without him. 674 00:29:25,708 --> 00:29:26,875 It's a her. 675 00:29:26,958 --> 00:29:29,458 I don't care what it is. It don't make me no never mind. 676 00:29:29,583 --> 00:29:31,792 But, I've got 600 bucks in cash. 677 00:29:31,875 --> 00:29:33,125 To San Diego? 678 00:29:33,250 --> 00:29:35,792 With an elephant manifestly uncontrollable? 679 00:29:35,917 --> 00:29:38,625 Why didn't you learn how to manage her before you took her on the road? 680 00:29:38,708 --> 00:29:40,625 What about Kansas City? 681 00:29:40,708 --> 00:29:43,583 Mmm... Well, I don't know. 682 00:29:45,042 --> 00:29:46,250 All right. 683 00:29:46,333 --> 00:29:47,792 If you two hustle in there, right now. 684 00:29:47,875 --> 00:29:48,875 Not me. I'm flying. 685 00:29:48,958 --> 00:29:50,167 Oh, no, no. 686 00:29:51,667 --> 00:29:54,458 Unaccompanied elephant would be 687 00:29:54,583 --> 00:29:55,667 twice the risk. 688 00:29:57,833 --> 00:29:59,625 (VERA GROWLING) 689 00:30:00,958 --> 00:30:02,125 I'll ride with her in the boxcar. 690 00:30:02,250 --> 00:30:03,625 I thought so. 691 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:09,667 She seems to like you. 692 00:30:09,792 --> 00:30:11,750 (VERA GRUNTS) 693 00:30:11,833 --> 00:30:15,625 You keep that door near about closed, Colonel. Charlie! 694 00:30:15,708 --> 00:30:18,750 'Cause anybody sees you two, you're walkin' the tracks. 695 00:30:18,833 --> 00:30:20,625 (LAUGHING) 696 00:30:20,708 --> 00:30:23,208 (EVERYBODY LOVES A TRAIN PLAYING) 697 00:30:23,292 --> 00:30:26,542 * Goin' down the rails and coming back 698 00:30:26,625 --> 00:30:28,958 * Train a-comin' going clack, clack, clack 699 00:30:29,042 --> 00:30:30,542 I hate you. 700 00:30:31,292 --> 00:30:32,667 I hate you. 701 00:30:33,750 --> 00:30:34,917 (LAUGHING) 702 00:30:40,625 --> 00:30:42,875 This is a funny joke, Dad. I... I... 703 00:30:42,958 --> 00:30:44,625 (LAUGHING) 704 00:30:48,708 --> 00:30:50,875 You think this is funny? 705 00:30:50,958 --> 00:30:54,500 * Steel whistle blowing a crazy sound 706 00:30:54,625 --> 00:30:58,167 * Jump on a car when she comes around 707 00:30:59,958 --> 00:31:01,667 * Clack, clack, clack 708 00:31:18,292 --> 00:31:19,625 Quick, hide. 709 00:31:23,833 --> 00:31:24,833 Hey. 710 00:31:26,875 --> 00:31:27,875 (GRUNTS) 711 00:31:30,625 --> 00:31:31,833 Woo! 712 00:31:32,792 --> 00:31:34,000 We're comin' into St. Louis. 713 00:31:34,125 --> 00:31:36,208 Be in K.C. in the morning. 714 00:31:37,042 --> 00:31:38,250 Here. Ah. 715 00:31:40,125 --> 00:31:41,250 Ah. 716 00:31:41,333 --> 00:31:42,792 (VERA CHIRPING) 717 00:31:43,750 --> 00:31:45,667 Ah, late night snack. 718 00:31:45,792 --> 00:31:46,917 That'll be 10 bucks. 719 00:31:49,667 --> 00:31:50,750 No. 720 00:31:53,667 --> 00:31:55,792 Yeah, well, 721 00:31:55,875 --> 00:31:59,792 I thought you were probably holdin' back a little cash on me. 722 00:31:59,917 --> 00:32:01,917 Then I began to "D," deliberate. 723 00:32:02,792 --> 00:32:03,792 You what? 724 00:32:03,875 --> 00:32:04,875 I recognized you right away. 725 00:32:04,958 --> 00:32:06,583 You addressed our union convention. 726 00:32:06,667 --> 00:32:10,792 I never thought of working these little sidelines till after I heard you talk. 727 00:32:11,708 --> 00:32:13,625 You make me very proud. 728 00:32:17,875 --> 00:32:19,500 (TRAIN BRAKES SCREECHING) 729 00:32:26,708 --> 00:32:28,000 (PANTING) 730 00:32:30,625 --> 00:32:32,958 I don't know about you, but I'm gettin' off. 731 00:32:35,708 --> 00:32:36,917 JACK: Excuse me, fellas. 732 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,500 Can you tell me where there's a cesspool I can scrub up in? 733 00:32:44,833 --> 00:32:46,125 (ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYING) 734 00:32:46,250 --> 00:32:48,958 MAN ON LOUDSPEAKER: Hey, Kirby's boy, step right up. 735 00:32:49,042 --> 00:32:50,000 Oh, my God. 736 00:32:50,125 --> 00:32:51,792 Step right up. 737 00:32:57,208 --> 00:32:58,875 (MUSIC WINDING DOWN) 738 00:32:58,958 --> 00:33:00,792 Hello, there. 739 00:33:00,917 --> 00:33:03,125 Hello. How ya doin'? 740 00:33:03,208 --> 00:33:05,667 Oh, how you makin' out, Vera? 741 00:33:05,792 --> 00:33:09,583 My goodness gracious, it's so good to see ya. 742 00:33:09,667 --> 00:33:11,042 Oh! La la la la! 743 00:33:11,125 --> 00:33:12,625 There you go. 744 00:33:12,708 --> 00:33:15,083 There you go. Good girl. I... 745 00:33:15,167 --> 00:33:16,792 That's the way they are. 746 00:33:16,875 --> 00:33:17,958 That's the way they greet people, 747 00:33:18,083 --> 00:33:19,583 because that's the way they greet each other. 748 00:33:19,667 --> 00:33:20,792 They sniff each other out. 749 00:33:20,875 --> 00:33:22,792 Don't worry though, I just shake hands. 750 00:33:24,083 --> 00:33:27,708 Yeah, I would've known you for Kirby's boy. 751 00:33:27,792 --> 00:33:31,042 Except Kirby always prided himself on neatness. 752 00:33:31,125 --> 00:33:32,542 (ENGINE STARTING) 753 00:33:32,625 --> 00:33:34,167 (GEARS GRINDING) 754 00:33:35,958 --> 00:33:37,292 Walter, I'll make Modesto. 755 00:33:37,375 --> 00:33:39,000 WALTER: You better make Modesto, I swear to God. 756 00:33:39,125 --> 00:33:41,083 My ass is hanging out there. You're just gonna spank me in public. 757 00:33:41,167 --> 00:33:43,792 I've got three days. I'll work it out. 758 00:33:43,875 --> 00:33:44,833 I need the money. 759 00:33:44,958 --> 00:33:45,875 Who doesn't need the money, Jack? 760 00:33:45,958 --> 00:33:47,542 More than ever. 761 00:33:47,625 --> 00:33:49,000 Don't turn your back on New Orleans. We need New Orleans! 762 00:33:49,125 --> 00:33:51,667 VERNON: Jack, this is my wife, Luluna. 763 00:33:51,792 --> 00:33:55,625 Your washables are drying. I did what I could with your suit. 764 00:33:55,708 --> 00:33:57,792 Why don't you sit? Here, on the couch. 765 00:33:58,792 --> 00:34:00,917 You won't get any circus cooties. 766 00:34:02,625 --> 00:34:03,792 (VERNON LAUGHING) 767 00:34:03,875 --> 00:34:06,500 He's as particular as his mother. 768 00:34:06,625 --> 00:34:07,833 You look beat. 769 00:34:07,958 --> 00:34:10,625 Why don't you stay with us for a couple of days? 770 00:34:11,125 --> 00:34:12,292 I have to get going. 771 00:34:12,375 --> 00:34:14,875 I wouldn't want you to think all we eat is sandwiches. 772 00:34:14,958 --> 00:34:17,625 Anything you serve up, my love, goes down with a bang. 773 00:34:17,708 --> 00:34:19,917 And that comes from a man that ate fire, 774 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,708 swallowed steel and something else you rarely see. 775 00:34:22,792 --> 00:34:25,125 I stick a spoon up this nostril, a fork up this one. 776 00:34:25,250 --> 00:34:26,917 Now, my sinuses, they were just... 777 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:28,958 Vernon. He doesn't want to hear shop talk. 778 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:32,625 He wants to know about his father. 779 00:34:32,708 --> 00:34:34,750 I just want to know how to deal with his elephant. 780 00:34:34,833 --> 00:34:36,125 There he is. 781 00:34:37,833 --> 00:34:39,625 It was old, 782 00:34:39,708 --> 00:34:41,125 so I decoupaged it. 783 00:34:41,208 --> 00:34:43,708 If I'd let her, she'd decoupage me. 784 00:34:44,250 --> 00:34:46,625 There's Dad. 785 00:34:46,708 --> 00:34:48,958 JACK: Right below the fat lady and above the dancing bear. 786 00:34:49,042 --> 00:34:51,083 VERNON: Your dad didn't have Vera when he met your mother. 787 00:34:51,167 --> 00:34:52,792 Some town in New York State. 788 00:34:52,917 --> 00:34:54,125 Yeah. 789 00:34:54,250 --> 00:34:56,792 Brockport. She was in college. 790 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,875 You know, she told me a story that he saved a kid's life. 791 00:35:01,958 --> 00:35:03,917 Well, he was a fireman in the act. 792 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,708 VERNON: You know, fire truck, clowns in and out, 793 00:35:05,792 --> 00:35:07,792 they'd toss this baby doll around. 794 00:35:07,917 --> 00:35:10,625 Your mother used to travel with us. Took tickets. 795 00:35:10,708 --> 00:35:12,125 LULUNA: It looked like she was getting to be one of us. 796 00:35:12,250 --> 00:35:13,625 She had you. 797 00:35:13,750 --> 00:35:15,958 Then she was gone. She and you. 798 00:35:16,042 --> 00:35:18,042 Kirby left us for several years and 799 00:35:18,125 --> 00:35:20,833 then he came back, with Vera. 800 00:35:22,667 --> 00:35:25,875 Performing is when your dad let himself go. 801 00:35:25,958 --> 00:35:28,208 Him and Vera were some act. 802 00:35:28,292 --> 00:35:32,042 I mean, he trained her himself. I don't know how he knew how. 803 00:35:32,125 --> 00:35:34,667 Oh, hello there, sir. Thank you very much. 804 00:35:34,792 --> 00:35:36,250 Thank you very much, sir. 805 00:35:36,333 --> 00:35:37,875 What? Hey, no! 806 00:35:37,958 --> 00:35:39,875 Don't influence the children. 807 00:35:39,958 --> 00:35:41,667 You wanna see my scrapbook? 808 00:35:41,792 --> 00:35:43,083 No. No, thank you. 809 00:35:47,958 --> 00:35:49,792 There he is. 810 00:35:49,917 --> 00:35:51,125 JACK: What's that thing he's holding? 811 00:35:51,250 --> 00:35:53,250 VERNON: That's a back-scratcher. She responds to that. 812 00:35:53,333 --> 00:35:54,958 She does? I've got this thing in the trunk. 813 00:35:55,083 --> 00:35:59,125 Well, you show her that, she'll lead right along. If you got a feel for her. 814 00:35:59,208 --> 00:36:00,917 Wow, what is that? 815 00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:02,917 VERNON: That's the trick that made Vera famous. 816 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:05,167 She'd push a calliope uphill, all by herself. 817 00:36:05,292 --> 00:36:06,500 LULUNA: She always led the parade. 818 00:36:06,625 --> 00:36:09,750 Only elephant in the world could walk on her hind legs. 819 00:36:09,833 --> 00:36:11,708 Look, I really gotta get going. This has been great. 820 00:36:11,792 --> 00:36:12,792 Ahh! 821 00:36:14,042 --> 00:36:16,125 I forgot that was in there. 822 00:36:16,250 --> 00:36:20,167 Luluna and your dad were engaged before your mom came along. 823 00:36:20,292 --> 00:36:23,917 Oh, don't worry. You wouldn't have been born tattooed. 824 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,167 (LAUGHING) 825 00:36:25,292 --> 00:36:26,917 I wasn't thinking that. 826 00:36:27,917 --> 00:36:28,917 VERNON: She can salute. 827 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:30,208 (WHISTLING) 828 00:36:32,125 --> 00:36:33,875 (VERA TRUMPETING) 829 00:36:34,833 --> 00:36:36,833 VERNON: She knows how to skip. 830 00:36:36,958 --> 00:36:38,167 (WHISTLING) 831 00:36:38,958 --> 00:36:39,958 Hut. 832 00:36:40,250 --> 00:36:41,625 How about that? 833 00:36:41,750 --> 00:36:42,917 She skips better than I do. 834 00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:44,208 VERNON: Take a bow. 835 00:36:44,292 --> 00:36:45,458 (WHISTLING) 836 00:36:45,583 --> 00:36:46,708 (TRUMPETS) 837 00:36:48,208 --> 00:36:51,750 So, what about the hard stuff, like "go, stop." 838 00:36:51,833 --> 00:36:53,833 Simplicity itself. 839 00:36:53,958 --> 00:36:54,917 Go. 840 00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:56,750 (WHISTLING) 841 00:36:56,833 --> 00:36:57,792 (SNORTS) 842 00:37:01,083 --> 00:37:02,083 Stop. 843 00:37:02,167 --> 00:37:03,125 (WHISTLING) 844 00:37:03,958 --> 00:37:05,875 Why, she's a treasure. 845 00:37:05,958 --> 00:37:07,792 LULUNA: Jack, you try. 846 00:37:11,125 --> 00:37:13,083 Here. Yeah. Come on. 847 00:37:14,792 --> 00:37:15,917 All right. 848 00:37:16,167 --> 00:37:17,125 Go. 849 00:37:17,250 --> 00:37:18,208 (WHISTLING) 850 00:37:18,292 --> 00:37:19,500 (VERA SNORTS) 851 00:37:23,167 --> 00:37:25,750 She's messing with me now. Come on, let's try it again, and 852 00:37:25,833 --> 00:37:26,833 go. 853 00:37:26,958 --> 00:37:27,917 (GRUMBLES) 854 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,042 No. 855 00:37:29,125 --> 00:37:30,958 No, no, no, no. Stop, stop. 856 00:37:31,083 --> 00:37:33,875 (WHISTLING) No, the other stop. 857 00:37:33,958 --> 00:37:35,458 You just need to get a feel for each other. 858 00:37:35,583 --> 00:37:37,875 Once you're sure you know what she wants, she'll do it. 859 00:37:37,958 --> 00:37:39,292 (WHISTLING) 860 00:37:39,417 --> 00:37:42,167 What about the famous trick? The one that my dad did with her. 861 00:37:42,292 --> 00:37:44,833 She wouldn't do that for nobody but your dad. 862 00:37:46,958 --> 00:37:48,458 Well, we'll give it a try. 863 00:37:48,583 --> 00:37:49,875 (WHISTLING) 864 00:37:53,583 --> 00:37:56,125 I guess that trick died with your dad. 865 00:37:56,250 --> 00:37:59,083 What are you gonna do? Work up an act, take her on the road? 866 00:37:59,167 --> 00:38:01,750 No, I'm gonna free her. 867 00:38:01,833 --> 00:38:03,125 Free her? Oh, mercy. 868 00:38:03,208 --> 00:38:04,875 There's a woman at the San Diego zoo 869 00:38:04,958 --> 00:38:06,167 taking elephants to Sri Lanka... 870 00:38:06,292 --> 00:38:09,125 Sri Lanka? Who would she know there? 871 00:38:09,208 --> 00:38:10,958 She'd get to live in the rain forest. 872 00:38:11,083 --> 00:38:13,500 Rain forest? That's just another word for jungle. 873 00:38:13,625 --> 00:38:15,875 They're gonna give me $30,000. 874 00:38:15,958 --> 00:38:17,792 I know this outfit in Hollywood, 875 00:38:17,875 --> 00:38:20,083 give you a lot more than $30,000 for her. 876 00:38:20,167 --> 00:38:21,792 They'd make Vera a star. 877 00:38:21,875 --> 00:38:23,208 I'll tell you what we're gonna do. 878 00:38:23,292 --> 00:38:25,958 You need to appreciate your dad's way of life more. 879 00:38:26,042 --> 00:38:27,958 I'm gonna drive you out there in the vehicle. 880 00:38:28,042 --> 00:38:29,000 Now, Vernon! 881 00:38:29,125 --> 00:38:30,458 Now, don't "now, Vernon" me. 882 00:38:30,583 --> 00:38:32,125 I gotta change my clothes. 883 00:38:35,125 --> 00:38:36,917 (VERA TRUMPETING) 884 00:38:42,292 --> 00:38:43,875 (WHISTLING) 885 00:38:49,875 --> 00:38:52,208 VERNON: Aye, this is the life, ain't it? 886 00:38:52,292 --> 00:38:55,125 We'll stop along the road someplace, put on a show. 887 00:38:55,250 --> 00:38:59,250 Like your dad always said, "If you ain't on the road, you're in a rut." 888 00:38:59,333 --> 00:39:01,792 (TRUCK BACKFIRING) 889 00:39:01,917 --> 00:39:05,042 Hey, what about these people out in L.A.? You think maybe we should call them first? 890 00:39:05,125 --> 00:39:07,167 You gotta deal with these people face-to-face, 891 00:39:07,292 --> 00:39:09,458 or they'll take us for rubes, bumpkins, 892 00:39:09,583 --> 00:39:10,875 suckers from the sticks. 893 00:39:10,958 --> 00:39:12,583 I'll do the negotiating. 894 00:39:12,667 --> 00:39:16,125 One time, I traded a blind lion 895 00:39:16,208 --> 00:39:17,875 for a flatbed truck, 896 00:39:17,958 --> 00:39:20,792 ten dancing chickens and a trampoline. 897 00:39:21,167 --> 00:39:22,792 (METAL BANGING) 898 00:39:22,917 --> 00:39:24,250 Now that noise, what was that? 899 00:39:24,333 --> 00:39:25,833 (ACCORDION MUSIC STARTING) 900 00:39:25,958 --> 00:39:28,875 Now, you see, our polar bear got arrested for breaking and entering. 901 00:39:28,958 --> 00:39:31,625 Wasn't really a polar bear per se. 902 00:39:31,708 --> 00:39:35,958 What we done was, we took this regular bear, and we bleached him. 903 00:39:36,042 --> 00:39:37,125 (TRUCK BACKFIRING) 904 00:39:37,208 --> 00:39:38,542 (MUSIC DYING) 905 00:39:38,625 --> 00:39:40,208 (VERA TRUMPETING) 906 00:39:43,042 --> 00:39:44,000 (MUSIC DIES) 907 00:39:44,125 --> 00:39:45,083 Are we on fire? 908 00:39:45,167 --> 00:39:46,250 (METAL CLANKING) 909 00:39:51,167 --> 00:39:52,167 (VERA TRUMPETS) 910 00:40:00,958 --> 00:40:02,583 (CAR HORN HONKING) 911 00:40:10,167 --> 00:40:13,875 LULUNA: Last time you took off, you got three miles further. 912 00:40:13,958 --> 00:40:16,167 Let's take you back to the barn, Vernon. 913 00:40:22,292 --> 00:40:24,208 LULUNA: Jack, darling, I called Polk City. 914 00:40:24,292 --> 00:40:27,250 It's about eight miles ahead. There's a truck-rental yard there. 915 00:40:27,333 --> 00:40:29,000 Wish we could drive you both. 916 00:40:29,125 --> 00:40:30,583 Thanks for everything, Luluna. 917 00:40:32,292 --> 00:40:34,625 If you could just give me the name. 918 00:40:34,708 --> 00:40:36,958 Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 919 00:40:38,125 --> 00:40:40,125 Don't send her to the jungle. 920 00:40:40,208 --> 00:40:42,542 She doesn't get along with monkeys. 921 00:40:43,042 --> 00:40:44,167 Who does? 922 00:40:44,292 --> 00:40:47,125 Another thing your dad always said, 923 00:40:47,250 --> 00:40:51,000 "Everywhere you go, every line of work, 924 00:40:51,125 --> 00:40:52,625 "there're two kinds of people. 925 00:40:52,708 --> 00:40:55,000 "There's the carnies and the rubes." 926 00:40:55,125 --> 00:40:57,125 Don't be on the rubes' side, kid. 927 00:40:57,208 --> 00:40:59,083 Don't live the life of a rube. 928 00:40:59,708 --> 00:41:01,500 (TIRES SCREECHING) 929 00:41:10,125 --> 00:41:12,000 Wanna go for a walk? 930 00:41:12,125 --> 00:41:15,875 I've got this Wall Applications gala in three days. 931 00:41:15,958 --> 00:41:18,917 How am I gonna make that? What's the carny move here? 932 00:41:20,083 --> 00:41:22,125 (COWS MOOING) 933 00:41:22,250 --> 00:41:24,250 Now, you better be worth a lotta money. 934 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:26,625 That's a $2,000 gig. 935 00:41:26,708 --> 00:41:27,792 (WHINING) 936 00:41:27,875 --> 00:41:31,083 I've gotta call Walter and make excuses. I hate that. 937 00:41:31,167 --> 00:41:32,958 (WHINING) 938 00:41:33,042 --> 00:41:35,125 Y'know, you're probably right. 939 00:41:35,208 --> 00:41:37,542 Heck with Walter. He's a rube. 940 00:41:41,583 --> 00:41:43,458 Stay. Stay, Vera. 941 00:41:43,583 --> 00:41:46,458 Don't frighten the straights. Come on, stay. Stay. 942 00:41:46,583 --> 00:41:49,250 Don't frighten the squares. Come on, stay. Stay. 943 00:41:50,125 --> 00:41:52,167 Stay. Stay. 944 00:41:52,292 --> 00:41:54,167 I need a truck quick. Stay. 945 00:41:54,792 --> 00:41:56,083 (VERA CHIRPING) 946 00:41:56,167 --> 00:41:58,167 That'll be two major credit cards. 947 00:41:59,292 --> 00:42:01,000 Stop. 948 00:42:01,125 --> 00:42:03,125 (WHISTLING) That's to stop. Stop it. 949 00:42:03,208 --> 00:42:04,708 And a trucker's license. 950 00:42:04,792 --> 00:42:07,542 That's the first thing the hijackers took. That's how these people work. 951 00:42:07,625 --> 00:42:08,958 No license, no truck. 952 00:42:09,042 --> 00:42:13,708 Do you think I'd be going across Kansas on foot with an elephant? 953 00:42:13,792 --> 00:42:16,625 They took my rig, bro! 954 00:42:18,792 --> 00:42:19,958 (VERA BURPING) 955 00:42:20,042 --> 00:42:22,667 All right. Ho! Ho! And I'll take 956 00:42:23,625 --> 00:42:25,000 this. 957 00:42:25,125 --> 00:42:26,167 And I'll need more to go. 958 00:42:27,125 --> 00:42:29,000 SALESMAN: Is this a nice one? 959 00:42:29,125 --> 00:42:30,125 JACK: No. 960 00:42:30,208 --> 00:42:31,750 Is it a sweet one? 961 00:42:31,833 --> 00:42:33,083 Yeah, no. 962 00:42:33,167 --> 00:42:34,208 How 'bout a pick-up? 963 00:42:34,292 --> 00:42:37,625 That's a little small, I think, don't you? 964 00:42:37,708 --> 00:42:39,542 Hey, I got one over here you'd like. 965 00:42:39,625 --> 00:42:42,125 W-Wait, now. Isn't this the truck here? 966 00:42:43,583 --> 00:42:45,125 That one's got a loose seat. 967 00:42:45,250 --> 00:42:46,458 (LAUGHING) 968 00:42:46,583 --> 00:42:48,792 I've handled loose seats before. 969 00:42:51,250 --> 00:42:52,750 I'll take her. 970 00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:07,583 (BEEPING) 971 00:43:11,792 --> 00:43:13,500 (ENGINE STARTING) 972 00:43:23,333 --> 00:43:24,500 (EXHAUST BLOWING) 973 00:43:26,125 --> 00:43:27,625 (GEARS GRINDING) 974 00:43:35,292 --> 00:43:36,625 (GEARS SHIFTING) 975 00:43:38,833 --> 00:43:39,792 (SIGHS) 976 00:43:41,583 --> 00:43:43,125 (GEARS GRINDING) 977 00:43:47,875 --> 00:43:49,125 (SIGHS) 978 00:43:50,583 --> 00:43:52,042 (HORN BLOWING) 979 00:44:09,125 --> 00:44:10,792 (GROWLING) 980 00:44:16,833 --> 00:44:18,167 Come on. 981 00:44:19,208 --> 00:44:20,792 (GEARS GRINDING) 982 00:44:21,833 --> 00:44:22,792 Ahh! 983 00:44:25,917 --> 00:44:27,500 (HORN HONKS) 984 00:44:27,833 --> 00:44:29,750 (HORN BLOWING) 985 00:44:41,833 --> 00:44:43,750 (ENGINE STRAINING) 986 00:44:46,583 --> 00:44:48,792 (GEARS GRINDING) 987 00:44:54,792 --> 00:44:56,542 (HORN HONKING) 988 00:44:56,625 --> 00:44:58,250 Come on, come on. 989 00:44:58,333 --> 00:45:00,167 (TIRES SCREECHING) 990 00:45:02,292 --> 00:45:04,625 MAN: Learn to drive, you son of a bitch. 991 00:45:08,625 --> 00:45:09,750 (HORNS HONKING) 992 00:45:09,833 --> 00:45:11,667 I can't drive this. 993 00:45:11,792 --> 00:45:13,125 (HORN BLARING) 994 00:45:13,250 --> 00:45:14,875 MEN: Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo, woo-hoo! 995 00:45:16,333 --> 00:45:17,958 (HORN BLOWING) 996 00:45:20,667 --> 00:45:21,875 (HORN BLOWING) 997 00:45:23,292 --> 00:45:24,542 Help! 998 00:45:24,625 --> 00:45:26,542 MAN: Put it in the granny hole. 999 00:45:26,625 --> 00:45:27,875 Same to you. 1000 00:45:35,875 --> 00:45:38,625 Granny hole's first gear, birdbrain. 1001 00:45:40,667 --> 00:45:41,625 Oh. 1002 00:45:41,708 --> 00:45:42,792 Thank you. 1003 00:45:47,292 --> 00:45:49,125 (ENGINE ACCELERATING) 1004 00:45:54,583 --> 00:45:57,750 There ought to be a seat lever right under your left butt-cheek. 1005 00:45:57,833 --> 00:45:59,750 Just don't touch the magic button. 1006 00:45:59,833 --> 00:46:01,708 Okay, thanks. Thanks again. 1007 00:46:03,708 --> 00:46:05,167 What's the magic button? 1008 00:46:27,792 --> 00:46:29,167 (WHIMPERING) 1009 00:46:30,708 --> 00:46:31,917 (CHIRPING) 1010 00:46:38,792 --> 00:46:39,792 Ah. 1011 00:46:41,750 --> 00:46:42,750 Woo! 1012 00:46:45,958 --> 00:46:47,625 (SCREAMING) 1013 00:46:48,708 --> 00:46:49,625 Woo! 1014 00:46:49,750 --> 00:46:50,792 Ahh! 1015 00:46:52,292 --> 00:46:54,625 (SCREAMING) 1016 00:46:56,625 --> 00:47:00,458 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything I've ever done. 1017 00:47:00,583 --> 00:47:01,542 I'm sorry. 1018 00:47:01,625 --> 00:47:02,708 Oh, help me. 1019 00:47:02,792 --> 00:47:03,750 (HORN BLOWING) 1020 00:47:03,833 --> 00:47:04,958 Help me! 1021 00:47:05,875 --> 00:47:07,167 (WHIMPERING) 1022 00:47:10,708 --> 00:47:12,292 (WHIMPERING) 1023 00:47:15,292 --> 00:47:16,500 Oh! 1024 00:47:19,625 --> 00:47:20,708 (BRAKE SCREECHING) 1025 00:47:22,042 --> 00:47:23,750 (TIRES SKIDDING) 1026 00:47:23,833 --> 00:47:24,833 Nice rental! 1027 00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:45,000 JACK: So, 1028 00:47:45,125 --> 00:47:46,792 how long you think it's gonna take? 1029 00:47:46,917 --> 00:47:47,917 Well, 1030 00:47:49,583 --> 00:47:52,542 I don't know what you done to that transmission, but 1031 00:47:52,625 --> 00:47:54,792 that truck ain't goin' nowhere for a couple of weeks. 1032 00:47:54,917 --> 00:47:57,000 Now, you do know how to drive a truck, huh? 1033 00:47:57,125 --> 00:47:58,625 (LAUGHING) 1034 00:48:00,625 --> 00:48:03,000 Vera, let's go find ourselves a new rig. 1035 00:48:03,833 --> 00:48:05,583 (WHISTLING) 1036 00:48:05,667 --> 00:48:06,750 (TRUMPETS) 1037 00:48:06,833 --> 00:48:08,042 Hey, Mister, 1038 00:48:08,125 --> 00:48:10,042 you tipped this one up, too. 1039 00:48:15,583 --> 00:48:19,083 Natural Talent? Yes, may I speak with Terry Bonura, please? 1040 00:48:20,958 --> 00:48:23,000 Well, when will Terry be back? 1041 00:48:23,125 --> 00:48:25,625 I have to make a speech in three days. 1042 00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:27,625 You heading west? 1043 00:48:27,750 --> 00:48:28,958 East. 1044 00:48:29,042 --> 00:48:30,750 I have a highly trained elephant. 1045 00:48:30,833 --> 00:48:32,958 I have a number of attractive offers for her. 1046 00:48:33,083 --> 00:48:35,750 I want to give you people a shot. You heading west? 1047 00:48:35,833 --> 00:48:37,792 Uh-huh. This your elephant? 1048 00:48:38,625 --> 00:48:39,833 Yes, we are on foot. 1049 00:48:39,958 --> 00:48:41,708 Did you just hang up on me? 1050 00:48:43,583 --> 00:48:44,792 Can you take some more cargo? 1051 00:48:44,917 --> 00:48:46,583 Is he afraid of mice? 1052 00:48:47,042 --> 00:48:48,667 Are you hauling mice? 1053 00:48:52,792 --> 00:48:53,833 Vera, kill. 1054 00:48:53,958 --> 00:48:54,917 (VERA GRUMBLES) 1055 00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:56,000 Kill. 1056 00:48:58,125 --> 00:49:00,000 JACK: Mo? Yeah? 1057 00:49:00,708 --> 00:49:01,792 Jack Corcoran. 1058 00:49:01,875 --> 00:49:04,458 I got a more attractive offer for my elephant. 1059 00:49:04,583 --> 00:49:05,750 Is that right? Who from? 1060 00:49:05,833 --> 00:49:07,750 Terry Bonura of Natural Talent. 1061 00:49:07,833 --> 00:49:09,958 I knew it, I knew you'd hook up with Terry. 1062 00:49:10,042 --> 00:49:11,917 Oh, that's the Terry you're always talking about? 1063 00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:13,583 Aw, don't kid a kidder, Jack. Just do the right thing. 1064 00:49:13,667 --> 00:49:17,750 And have your elephant at the San Diego airport, Tuesday the 24th, 8:00 p.m. 1065 00:49:17,833 --> 00:49:20,875 This is not just an elephant. This is a highly trained, 1066 00:49:20,958 --> 00:49:22,875 skilled, professional elephant. 1067 00:49:22,958 --> 00:49:25,042 Oh, I don't give a shit if she can play the banjo. 1068 00:49:25,125 --> 00:49:26,750 Healthy and fertile's all I need. 1069 00:49:26,833 --> 00:49:28,000 (DIAL TONE BUZZING) 1070 00:49:30,167 --> 00:49:32,083 I am having a rough night. 1071 00:49:33,125 --> 00:49:35,083 I told you to kill. 1072 00:49:35,167 --> 00:49:36,750 (CHIRPING) 1073 00:49:41,625 --> 00:49:43,833 Hi, honey. I'm in Kansas. 1074 00:49:45,125 --> 00:49:47,000 Would you call Walter and tell him 1075 00:49:47,125 --> 00:49:49,792 that I will not be able to make Modesto? 1076 00:49:50,792 --> 00:49:52,083 (GROWLING) 1077 00:49:52,958 --> 00:49:54,958 I know that. I know that. 1078 00:49:55,083 --> 00:49:58,917 I will definitely make the last two dates, especially New Orleans. 1079 00:50:00,042 --> 00:50:01,625 Sure I miss you. 1080 00:50:03,833 --> 00:50:04,958 (KISSING SOUNDS) 1081 00:50:06,958 --> 00:50:08,667 (KISSING SOUNDS) 1082 00:50:09,958 --> 00:50:11,500 Headed west? 1083 00:50:12,625 --> 00:50:13,875 Sweet dreams. 1084 00:50:13,958 --> 00:50:15,667 Okay, bye-bye. 1085 00:50:20,792 --> 00:50:21,792 Give me Terry Bonura. 1086 00:50:21,875 --> 00:50:24,500 You've got her. And who is this? 1087 00:50:24,625 --> 00:50:25,583 MAN: Terry? 1088 00:50:25,667 --> 00:50:26,667 Oh, hold on a sec. 1089 00:50:26,792 --> 00:50:28,125 Your thighs, kind of ivory. 1090 00:50:28,208 --> 00:50:29,667 Oh. 1091 00:50:29,792 --> 00:50:32,500 All right, but make sure you get it all the way up to the thong mark. 1092 00:50:32,625 --> 00:50:33,583 TERRY: Remember what happened last time. 1093 00:50:33,667 --> 00:50:34,833 Uh-huh. 1094 00:50:34,958 --> 00:50:35,917 Sorry about that. 1095 00:50:36,292 --> 00:50:37,792 I was... 1096 00:50:37,875 --> 00:50:39,167 Expecting a man. 1097 00:50:39,292 --> 00:50:40,667 Aw, are you terribly crushed? 1098 00:50:41,250 --> 00:50:42,625 I'm Jack Corcoran. 1099 00:50:42,708 --> 00:50:43,750 Are you an Aries? 1100 00:50:43,833 --> 00:50:44,792 Pisces. 1101 00:50:44,917 --> 00:50:46,083 Pisces? 1102 00:50:46,167 --> 00:50:47,833 You sound so firm. 1103 00:50:47,958 --> 00:50:49,750 (LAUGHING) 1104 00:50:49,833 --> 00:50:52,625 I have a... I have a rather large elephant here. 1105 00:50:52,708 --> 00:50:54,625 (LAUGHING) Well, not every man can say that. 1106 00:50:54,792 --> 00:50:55,792 Ha! 1107 00:50:55,875 --> 00:50:58,958 And she's talented, very trained, and 1108 00:50:59,042 --> 00:51:01,083 Mo at the San Diego zoo says that 1109 00:51:01,167 --> 00:51:02,625 she'd like to take her to Sri Lanka. 1110 00:51:02,708 --> 00:51:05,000 Well, that's just because she can't get anyone else to go with her. 1111 00:51:05,125 --> 00:51:06,042 (LAUGHS) 1112 00:51:06,125 --> 00:51:08,042 Can you call me back? 1113 00:51:08,125 --> 00:51:10,125 Sure. But what kind of a dollar figure 1114 00:51:10,208 --> 00:51:11,750 would we be talking about here? 1115 00:51:11,833 --> 00:51:14,125 Mo had offered 30,000. 1116 00:51:14,208 --> 00:51:16,625 Well, I can do at least 40,000. 1117 00:51:17,792 --> 00:51:19,792 Are you sure you're not an Aries? 1118 00:51:19,875 --> 00:51:21,167 Well, I'm on the cusp. 1119 00:51:21,292 --> 00:51:23,958 You're on the cusp, and you're too modest to admit it. 1120 00:51:24,042 --> 00:51:25,167 (LAUGHS) 1121 00:51:25,292 --> 00:51:27,125 That's very sweet. Call me back, okay? 1122 00:51:27,833 --> 00:51:28,833 Okay. 1123 00:51:28,958 --> 00:51:30,167 Don't forget. See ya. 1124 00:51:30,292 --> 00:51:31,792 Okay. 1125 00:51:33,875 --> 00:51:34,958 I must be in love. 1126 00:51:35,083 --> 00:51:36,792 I just lied about my sign. 1127 00:51:39,250 --> 00:51:41,167 How are we gonna get to California? 1128 00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:46,042 All right, I want you to wait here. 1129 00:51:46,125 --> 00:51:47,708 (WRAPPERS RUSTLING) 1130 00:52:01,875 --> 00:52:02,792 (BELL RINGING) 1131 00:52:02,875 --> 00:52:03,917 (LAUGHING) 1132 00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:05,000 (KISSING SOUNDS) 1133 00:52:05,125 --> 00:52:06,125 (COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING) 1134 00:52:09,125 --> 00:52:10,250 (LAUGHING) 1135 00:52:14,708 --> 00:52:15,875 Coffee. 1136 00:52:16,958 --> 00:52:18,625 And scrambled eggs. 1137 00:52:18,708 --> 00:52:20,792 Bacon, sausage or ham? 1138 00:52:21,708 --> 00:52:22,875 Sausage. 1139 00:52:26,958 --> 00:52:28,875 You know what you just ordered, don't you? 1140 00:52:28,958 --> 00:52:29,958 The Bob Hope. 1141 00:52:30,083 --> 00:52:31,750 Government waste. 1142 00:52:31,833 --> 00:52:33,833 Mmm-hmm. School-lunch program. 1143 00:52:33,958 --> 00:52:35,667 Kids don't eat that free lunch. 1144 00:52:35,792 --> 00:52:38,750 You got some retard come down and sucking on the government teat. 1145 00:52:38,833 --> 00:52:40,875 Come down and scrape it off the garbage cans. 1146 00:52:40,958 --> 00:52:43,083 Then the pig farmers slop their hogs with it. 1147 00:52:43,167 --> 00:52:46,917 Then hit 'em up with every antibiotic known to man. 1148 00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:48,792 'Cause the AMA's in on this, too. 1149 00:52:48,917 --> 00:52:50,208 (LAUGHING) 1150 00:52:50,292 --> 00:52:52,458 MAN: Oh, yeah. You think they want me and you healthy? Think again. 1151 00:52:52,583 --> 00:52:53,750 Would you help me? 1152 00:52:53,833 --> 00:52:55,000 MAN: Uh-uh! No, they don't. 1153 00:52:55,125 --> 00:52:57,750 They grind that stuff up and try and call it meat. 1154 00:52:57,833 --> 00:52:59,708 Come on, man. You ever seen a pig's pecker? 1155 00:52:59,792 --> 00:53:01,833 Shaped like a doggone corkscrew. 1156 00:53:01,958 --> 00:53:03,125 It's like that. Like a corkscrew. 1157 00:53:03,250 --> 00:53:05,875 And that's exactly what they're tryin' to do to you 1158 00:53:05,958 --> 00:53:08,042 every time you eat that pork. 1159 00:53:08,833 --> 00:53:09,958 Serious. 1160 00:53:11,583 --> 00:53:13,750 Yeah. 1161 00:53:13,833 --> 00:53:16,958 Anytime now, that phone right there's gonna ring-a-ding-ding. 1162 00:53:17,042 --> 00:53:20,167 I'm gonna skip on across town, pick me up a load of bowlin' pins. 1163 00:53:20,292 --> 00:53:22,792 Head clear west to Californ-i-a. 1164 00:53:22,917 --> 00:53:25,917 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Hey, my name's Tip. We ain't met yet. 1165 00:53:27,958 --> 00:53:29,250 T-I-P, Tip. 1166 00:53:29,333 --> 00:53:30,958 Call me that, 'cause you stick with me, 1167 00:53:31,083 --> 00:53:33,458 you'll get a few for free, as you can see. 1168 00:53:33,583 --> 00:53:34,792 (SNICKERING) Yeah. 1169 00:53:34,917 --> 00:53:37,167 Yo, sweetie, hit me again, baby, come on. 1170 00:53:42,250 --> 00:53:43,458 (TIP BURPS) 1171 00:53:43,583 --> 00:53:44,792 You know how long that damn ground-up pig 1172 00:53:44,875 --> 00:53:45,875 will stay in your system if you eat it? 1173 00:53:45,958 --> 00:53:47,500 Uh-uh. I'll be right back. 1174 00:53:47,625 --> 00:53:51,125 Twelve to 16 years. 1175 00:53:51,250 --> 00:53:52,875 TIP: Ha! Yeah! 1176 00:53:52,958 --> 00:53:55,958 Aw, come on, now. Hey, hey, hey! Don't eat that stuff. 1177 00:53:56,042 --> 00:53:57,500 Don't do it. 1178 00:53:59,042 --> 00:54:00,792 TIP: What do you think's in there? 1179 00:54:00,875 --> 00:54:02,583 You think it's doggone blueberries, don't you? 1180 00:54:02,667 --> 00:54:04,750 (PHONE RINGING) 1181 00:54:04,833 --> 00:54:06,750 Tiptop Truckin', Tip speakin'. 1182 00:54:06,833 --> 00:54:10,875 Yeah, that bowling-pin load, we're gonna have to cancel that. 1183 00:54:10,958 --> 00:54:11,958 Cancel it? 1184 00:54:12,042 --> 00:54:13,167 Yeah, termites. 1185 00:54:13,292 --> 00:54:14,792 Termites? 1186 00:54:16,042 --> 00:54:17,750 Termites. My ass. 1187 00:54:17,833 --> 00:54:19,125 Now, I know who's behind this. 1188 00:54:19,208 --> 00:54:21,792 Them buddies at the trucking commission. That's who. Hello? 1189 00:54:21,917 --> 00:54:23,042 Hey! Hello? 1190 00:54:24,083 --> 00:54:25,083 Ah! 1191 00:54:25,167 --> 00:54:26,167 Doh! 1192 00:54:27,958 --> 00:54:29,458 Aw, now they broke my phone! 1193 00:54:29,583 --> 00:54:30,750 (MEN LAUGHING) 1194 00:54:30,833 --> 00:54:32,958 Break my phone, cancel my load! 1195 00:54:33,042 --> 00:54:36,958 Goddogit! How's a man supposed to make it? 1196 00:54:37,042 --> 00:54:39,875 Damn, I don't believe this. I don't believe it. 1197 00:54:39,958 --> 00:54:42,292 Now I got to deadhead clear to California. 1198 00:54:43,292 --> 00:54:44,917 Maybe I can help. 1199 00:54:46,292 --> 00:54:47,833 TIP: And, of course, the rats 1200 00:54:47,958 --> 00:54:49,417 are just runnin' hog-wild around the place. 1201 00:54:49,500 --> 00:54:52,125 I mean, the people are practically chasin' them right into the grinder. 1202 00:54:52,250 --> 00:54:54,792 Rats and excreta, you know, come on. 1203 00:54:54,875 --> 00:54:56,542 It's all meat to them. Ooh. 1204 00:54:56,625 --> 00:54:58,750 And they got the balls to call that a hamburger? Come on! 1205 00:54:58,833 --> 00:55:01,958 Now you better pull the other one, Uncle Sam. Right? 1206 00:55:02,042 --> 00:55:04,000 So, is a... Is an elephant a clean animal? 1207 00:55:04,125 --> 00:55:06,917 You know, I mean, they eat out the dirt and all. 1208 00:55:08,083 --> 00:55:09,458 She's clean. 1209 00:55:09,583 --> 00:55:10,583 She? 1210 00:55:11,958 --> 00:55:13,542 (LAUGHING) 1211 00:55:13,625 --> 00:55:15,125 (FOOT STOMPING) 1212 00:55:16,125 --> 00:55:17,500 Woo-wee! 1213 00:55:18,708 --> 00:55:22,125 I mean, how do they do it? You know? 1214 00:55:22,250 --> 00:55:23,542 Make whoopie? 1215 00:55:23,625 --> 00:55:25,458 I mean, I just cannot see a big old flumpy thing like her 1216 00:55:25,583 --> 00:55:27,125 laying on her back, legs in the air 1217 00:55:27,250 --> 00:55:28,958 four tons of love coming on top of her, 1218 00:55:29,042 --> 00:55:30,167 and she's laying back just goin', 1219 00:55:30,292 --> 00:55:32,792 "Give it to me. Give it to me." 1220 00:55:32,875 --> 00:55:34,125 (TRUMPETING) 1221 00:55:35,292 --> 00:55:36,958 (TIP LAUGHING) 1222 00:55:39,625 --> 00:55:41,458 That's a lot of weight to roll around! 1223 00:55:41,583 --> 00:55:44,042 You know what I'm talkin' about? You know what I'm sayin'? 1224 00:55:44,125 --> 00:55:46,125 Come on, man. That's somethin' else! 1225 00:55:46,250 --> 00:55:47,583 That's got to be a sight to see. 1226 00:55:47,667 --> 00:55:49,833 That is pretty hard to picture in this old mind. 1227 00:55:49,958 --> 00:55:51,000 I don't know how they do it. 1228 00:55:51,125 --> 00:55:53,500 I heard that. I don't either. 1229 00:55:54,083 --> 00:55:56,042 (TIP TRUMPETING) 1230 00:55:56,125 --> 00:55:57,625 TIP: I'll tell you what. 1231 00:56:02,042 --> 00:56:03,833 TIP: Ah, the Rocky Mountains. 1232 00:56:03,958 --> 00:56:05,625 Clean spring water, right? 1233 00:56:06,667 --> 00:56:08,500 Right. Come on. 1234 00:56:08,625 --> 00:56:11,500 Government don't want the stuff clean. Uh-uh! 1235 00:56:11,625 --> 00:56:15,250 I'm gonna have to go ride in the back with Vera for a while. 1236 00:56:16,250 --> 00:56:17,458 She's lonesome. 1237 00:56:17,583 --> 00:56:19,042 Stay up. 1238 00:56:19,125 --> 00:56:23,042 We got Jack and Tip in the cab on the road. You and me, pal. 1239 00:56:23,125 --> 00:56:24,208 (PSYCHO PLAYING) 1240 00:56:24,292 --> 00:56:25,917 * I killed them both 1241 00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:27,833 Tip, do you ever sleep? 1242 00:56:27,958 --> 00:56:29,625 Oh yeah, I slept last week. 1243 00:56:31,292 --> 00:56:34,500 * You think I'm psycho, don't you, mama? 1244 00:56:37,083 --> 00:56:39,208 * Mama, pour me a cup 1245 00:56:41,708 --> 00:56:44,542 * You think I'm psycho, don't you, mama? 1246 00:56:46,333 --> 00:56:49,583 * You'd better let 'em lock me up * 1247 00:56:58,083 --> 00:56:59,750 Top of the divide. 1248 00:57:01,125 --> 00:57:03,125 Did dad ever let you get out and take a look? 1249 00:57:03,250 --> 00:57:04,625 ...there, young lady! 1250 00:57:04,708 --> 00:57:06,458 Tip Tucker. Yeah. 1251 00:57:06,583 --> 00:57:08,875 At this rate, we'll be in L.A. Tomorrow night. 1252 00:57:08,958 --> 00:57:10,208 Tip Tucker! 1253 00:57:10,292 --> 00:57:11,542 (SIGHS) 1254 00:57:11,625 --> 00:57:13,500 Maybe I'll go out to dinner with Terry. 1255 00:57:13,625 --> 00:57:16,667 Hell, no, I didn't pick up the bowling pins. 1256 00:57:16,792 --> 00:57:19,125 Perhaps she'll have a little elephant buddy for you. 1257 00:57:19,958 --> 00:57:21,083 Oh, is that right? 1258 00:57:23,250 --> 00:57:24,750 Is that so? 1259 00:57:31,167 --> 00:57:32,542 It doesn't look real. 1260 00:57:35,958 --> 00:57:38,125 You don't do that to me. 1261 00:57:38,208 --> 00:57:41,708 You don't do that to Tip Tucker and his Tiptop Trucking! 1262 00:57:41,792 --> 00:57:43,500 Get over it, Tip. I had to do it. 1263 00:57:43,625 --> 00:57:47,000 "Get over it," nothing. You canceled my bowling pins. 1264 00:57:47,125 --> 00:57:48,792 Look, a bald eagle. 1265 00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:51,625 There ain't no... Hey! 1266 00:57:56,792 --> 00:57:57,958 Tip, I had to do it. 1267 00:57:58,083 --> 00:57:59,000 Had to do... 1268 00:57:59,125 --> 00:58:00,542 (METAL CLANKING) 1269 00:58:01,625 --> 00:58:03,125 Doh! Hey! 1270 00:58:03,250 --> 00:58:07,000 Okay, look, I'm from the playground, man. City kid. I got game. 1271 00:58:07,125 --> 00:58:09,542 Watch out. Look out. Come on. Come on. 1272 00:58:13,292 --> 00:58:15,167 Hoi! Hoi! Wait. 1273 00:58:15,292 --> 00:58:17,000 Let's you and me get in the truck. 1274 00:58:17,125 --> 00:58:19,625 We'll drive down 3,000 feet. We'll do this there. 1275 00:58:19,708 --> 00:58:21,125 I like it here. 1276 00:58:24,125 --> 00:58:25,042 Hey! 1277 00:58:25,125 --> 00:58:26,167 Hey! 1278 00:58:27,042 --> 00:58:28,208 Oh! 1279 00:58:29,250 --> 00:58:31,542 (GRUNTING) 1280 00:58:31,625 --> 00:58:33,958 Uh-huh! Whose playground now? 1281 00:58:34,042 --> 00:58:35,667 (VERA GROANING) 1282 00:58:35,792 --> 00:58:36,792 Oh! 1283 00:58:37,833 --> 00:58:39,250 (VERA LOWING) 1284 00:58:42,708 --> 00:58:43,958 The only reason you're doing this 1285 00:58:44,083 --> 00:58:46,667 is 'cause I ain't popular with people. 1286 00:58:46,792 --> 00:58:48,750 Don't make me feel bad about this. 1287 00:58:56,750 --> 00:58:58,083 (GRUNTING) 1288 00:59:00,125 --> 00:59:01,500 Get away from me. 1289 00:59:02,292 --> 00:59:04,083 You hijacked me. 1290 00:59:04,167 --> 00:59:06,250 And that animal right there tried to kill me. 1291 00:59:06,333 --> 00:59:07,500 I'm gonna put the both of youse 1292 00:59:07,625 --> 00:59:10,125 behind bars in the state penitentiary. 1293 00:59:10,250 --> 00:59:12,042 Her for attempted murderer, 1294 00:59:12,125 --> 00:59:15,458 and you for being a interstate felon. 1295 00:59:15,583 --> 00:59:16,542 What do you think of that? 1296 00:59:16,625 --> 00:59:18,000 Doh! Doh! 1297 00:59:18,583 --> 00:59:19,833 Damn! Oh! 1298 00:59:19,958 --> 00:59:23,625 Nobody does that to Tip Tucker and gets away with it. You hear me? 1299 00:59:23,750 --> 00:59:24,792 Doh! 1300 00:59:25,833 --> 00:59:27,583 (ENGINE STARTING) 1301 00:59:28,875 --> 00:59:32,000 I will be back, with the law. 1302 00:59:32,125 --> 00:59:34,250 With the law! 1303 00:59:34,333 --> 00:59:37,042 Well, we'd better change our course. 1304 00:59:39,750 --> 00:59:42,500 Dad's got a southerly route marked here. 1305 00:59:42,625 --> 00:59:44,833 Back roads through New Mexico. 1306 00:59:46,125 --> 00:59:47,625 It's either that, or... 1307 00:59:49,125 --> 00:59:50,792 You get the chair. 1308 00:59:56,125 --> 00:59:57,250 (SQUEAKING) 1309 00:59:57,792 --> 00:59:58,875 (GRUNTING) 1310 01:00:14,125 --> 01:00:17,667 Well, we know where it'll be if I ever come back this way. 1311 01:00:20,792 --> 01:00:22,750 (VERA TRUMPETING) 1312 01:00:36,958 --> 01:00:38,125 (GRUMBLES) 1313 01:00:39,125 --> 01:00:43,083 Okay, I've got some good news and some bad news. 1314 01:00:43,167 --> 01:00:46,625 Good news is it's all downhill from here. 1315 01:00:47,792 --> 01:00:50,708 The bad news is you're gonna carry me. 1316 01:00:51,875 --> 01:00:53,125 Okay. 1317 01:00:54,667 --> 01:00:55,625 Hold still. 1318 01:00:56,833 --> 01:00:58,500 (LAUGHING) Hey. 1319 01:00:58,875 --> 01:01:00,500 All right. 1320 01:01:03,583 --> 01:01:04,792 All right. 1321 01:01:08,292 --> 01:01:10,625 Okay, honey, where's the stairs? 1322 01:01:14,625 --> 01:01:15,792 Well... 1323 01:01:19,833 --> 01:01:21,167 That hurt? 1324 01:01:24,625 --> 01:01:25,792 All right. 1325 01:01:27,708 --> 01:01:29,292 Let's try this one. 1326 01:01:29,917 --> 01:01:32,167 What the heck is going on? 1327 01:01:33,875 --> 01:01:36,208 Okay, hold it there, babe. Hold it. 1328 01:01:37,792 --> 01:01:38,875 Come on. 1329 01:01:38,958 --> 01:01:40,500 Whoa, God. 1330 01:01:40,792 --> 01:01:41,917 Oh. Oh! 1331 01:01:42,292 --> 01:01:43,583 Baby. 1332 01:01:44,292 --> 01:01:45,708 Don't let me go. 1333 01:01:45,792 --> 01:01:47,292 Don't let me go. 1334 01:01:51,583 --> 01:01:52,625 (VERA EXHALING) 1335 01:01:52,750 --> 01:01:54,125 (SCREAMING) 1336 01:01:54,208 --> 01:01:55,708 (VERA TRUMPETS) 1337 01:01:57,917 --> 01:01:59,625 (VERA SNORTS) 1338 01:02:02,833 --> 01:02:03,792 Okay. 1339 01:02:04,667 --> 01:02:06,167 (VERA GROANING) 1340 01:02:08,708 --> 01:02:09,875 Turn right. 1341 01:02:09,958 --> 01:02:11,708 (WHISTLING) 1342 01:02:13,708 --> 01:02:14,708 Go. 1343 01:02:19,708 --> 01:02:20,792 Whoa! 1344 01:02:21,708 --> 01:02:23,500 Okay, not so fast. 1345 01:02:24,792 --> 01:02:26,917 Okay. Easy. 1346 01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:30,792 (TOUCH A HAND, MAKE A FRIEND PLAYING) 1347 01:02:39,917 --> 01:02:42,625 * Can't you feel it in your bones? 1348 01:02:44,667 --> 01:02:47,583 * A change is coming on 1349 01:02:48,708 --> 01:02:52,000 * From every walk of life 1350 01:02:52,125 --> 01:02:54,750 * People are seeing the light 1351 01:02:56,625 --> 01:02:59,250 * Can't you feel it in your heart now? 1352 01:03:00,958 --> 01:03:03,625 * A new day is taking shape 1353 01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:06,000 Wrong way. Over here. 1354 01:03:06,125 --> 01:03:08,250 Wrong way. Get away. 1355 01:03:08,917 --> 01:03:10,750 That's cold. Get away. 1356 01:03:10,833 --> 01:03:12,750 Get away from there. Help. 1357 01:03:12,833 --> 01:03:15,542 Don't do it. Take a drink, and that's it. 1358 01:03:18,625 --> 01:03:19,792 Uh-oh. 1359 01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:22,583 Uh-oh. 1360 01:03:23,292 --> 01:03:24,625 Uh-oh. 1361 01:03:25,958 --> 01:03:27,208 Uh-oh. 1362 01:03:28,583 --> 01:03:30,958 Can you swim? Can you swim? 1363 01:03:34,083 --> 01:03:36,667 * A new day is taking shape 1364 01:03:37,833 --> 01:03:40,000 * Reach out, touch a hand 1365 01:03:40,125 --> 01:03:41,792 Oh! 1366 01:03:41,875 --> 01:03:44,500 * Make a friend if you can 1367 01:03:45,750 --> 01:03:48,500 * Reach out, touch a hand 1368 01:03:50,042 --> 01:03:53,042 * Make a friend if you can 1369 01:03:54,292 --> 01:03:58,500 * Reach out, touch a hand, yeah 1370 01:03:58,625 --> 01:04:00,917 * Make a friend if you can 1371 01:04:02,083 --> 01:04:05,042 * Reach out, touch a hand 1372 01:04:06,792 --> 01:04:08,750 * Make a friend if you can 1373 01:04:08,833 --> 01:04:09,833 You bully. 1374 01:04:10,833 --> 01:04:13,583 * Reach out, touch a hand 1375 01:04:14,917 --> 01:04:16,750 * Make a friend if you can * 1376 01:04:16,833 --> 01:04:18,917 You're gonna leave a ring around this lake. 1377 01:04:26,750 --> 01:04:28,958 JACK: You know, if you just stay there, we'll be fine. 1378 01:04:29,042 --> 01:04:31,625 Okay, I'll tell you when to move. 1379 01:04:32,958 --> 01:04:36,000 Never mind. No. That's okay. Go on ahead. 1380 01:04:36,125 --> 01:04:38,542 It's not you, it's your truck. 1381 01:04:38,625 --> 01:04:39,875 Thank you. 1382 01:04:39,958 --> 01:04:41,625 Well, that's what happens. You know? 1383 01:04:41,750 --> 01:04:43,625 When you're hot, you're hot, when you're not, you're not. 1384 01:04:43,708 --> 01:04:47,083 I don't know if you ever heard that one, but it's a truism. 1385 01:04:48,833 --> 01:04:50,458 This could be. 1386 01:04:50,583 --> 01:04:52,792 This could be. Yeah, you're the man. 1387 01:04:52,875 --> 01:04:55,583 Come on, big man, let me hear you downshift. 1388 01:04:55,667 --> 01:04:57,792 Yes, hit those brakes. Come on. 1389 01:04:57,875 --> 01:04:59,625 Yes, sir. Yes, sir. 1390 01:04:59,750 --> 01:05:00,792 (VERA TRUMPETS) 1391 01:05:00,917 --> 01:05:02,125 Stay there. Stay there. Don't come out. 1392 01:05:02,208 --> 01:05:04,500 You da man. You da man. 1393 01:05:04,625 --> 01:05:07,875 You da good Samaritan. Yes, sir. Yes. All right. 1394 01:05:07,958 --> 01:05:11,792 Hey, going all the way to Los Angeles, how about that? 1395 01:05:11,917 --> 01:05:13,000 Santa Monica. 1396 01:05:13,125 --> 01:05:15,583 Santa Monica. Outstanding. 1397 01:05:15,958 --> 01:05:17,667 Oh, man. 1398 01:05:17,792 --> 01:05:20,625 No, what've you done? No. 1399 01:05:20,708 --> 01:05:23,958 Oh my gosh, who taught you how to hitchhike? 1400 01:05:24,083 --> 01:05:26,625 Oh, there's two types of animals in this world. 1401 01:05:26,750 --> 01:05:29,667 Ones you can hitch with and ones you can't hitch with. 1402 01:05:29,792 --> 01:05:31,542 (SIREN BLARING) 1403 01:05:31,958 --> 01:05:33,875 Oh, God, get back there. 1404 01:05:33,958 --> 01:05:36,083 Get back. Back. Come on. 1405 01:05:37,792 --> 01:05:39,583 Freeze. 1406 01:05:39,667 --> 01:05:41,083 We need aerial surveillance. 1407 01:05:41,167 --> 01:05:43,750 We got to have road blocks, road blocks east and west and north and south. 1408 01:05:43,833 --> 01:05:45,083 We got to have the bloodhounds sniffing 'em down, 1409 01:05:45,167 --> 01:05:46,750 and we better have this shotgun right here loaded to the max. 1410 01:05:46,833 --> 01:05:49,958 You know what I'm talking about? This ain't no picnic walk. This ain't goin' bad. 1411 01:05:50,083 --> 01:05:51,750 I'm telling ya, you turn your back on the skillet, 1412 01:05:51,833 --> 01:05:54,625 the grease is gonna burn your butt. 1413 01:05:57,083 --> 01:06:00,042 Oh, the dumb are lucky, aren't they? 1414 01:06:00,125 --> 01:06:02,958 Oh, God, I'll kill you, yeah! 1415 01:06:03,042 --> 01:06:05,000 Well, thank you lot for all the help, the two of you. 1416 01:06:05,125 --> 01:06:06,625 (SCREAMING) 1417 01:06:06,750 --> 01:06:09,000 Should have known better than to expect a damn thing from the authorities. 1418 01:06:09,125 --> 01:06:10,917 Get off of my truck! 1419 01:06:12,125 --> 01:06:15,958 Tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go form my own dragnet. 1420 01:06:16,083 --> 01:06:18,625 Or better yet, I might just go it alone. That's right. 1421 01:06:18,750 --> 01:06:20,000 Man, oh, man! 1422 01:06:39,708 --> 01:06:42,875 To repeat, brown eyes, gray complexion, 1423 01:06:42,958 --> 01:06:45,917 weight approximately 8,000 pounds. 1424 01:06:50,750 --> 01:06:52,958 I have no idea where we are. 1425 01:06:54,208 --> 01:06:57,792 I wonder what Kirby means by, "Badlands of New Mexico." 1426 01:07:00,292 --> 01:07:01,958 You know, I was just thinking about 1427 01:07:02,042 --> 01:07:04,917 all those poor people on the interstate. 1428 01:07:05,875 --> 01:07:07,958 They're missing all of this. 1429 01:07:23,875 --> 01:07:25,167 Good morning. 1430 01:07:27,167 --> 01:07:28,750 Sorry, good afternoon. 1431 01:07:28,833 --> 01:07:30,083 (SQUAWKING) 1432 01:07:33,042 --> 01:07:36,000 Why in the hell aren't you a camel? 1433 01:07:36,125 --> 01:07:37,792 I don't want an elephant. I want a camel. 1434 01:07:47,792 --> 01:07:48,792 (SIGHS) 1435 01:07:48,875 --> 01:07:50,083 (GROANING) 1436 01:07:58,292 --> 01:08:00,708 Thanks, Vera. 1437 01:08:00,792 --> 01:08:03,875 I'm sorry about what I said, about not wanting an elephant. 1438 01:08:09,958 --> 01:08:11,250 (RAIN FALLING) 1439 01:08:19,083 --> 01:08:20,625 It's rain! 1440 01:08:20,750 --> 01:08:22,083 Vera, it's rain! 1441 01:08:22,792 --> 01:08:24,000 It's rain! 1442 01:08:24,708 --> 01:08:26,000 It's raining! 1443 01:08:27,042 --> 01:08:28,667 It's raining! 1444 01:08:29,167 --> 01:08:30,833 It's raining! 1445 01:08:31,292 --> 01:08:32,875 It's raining! 1446 01:08:32,958 --> 01:08:34,708 It's raining! 1447 01:08:34,792 --> 01:08:36,000 It's rain! 1448 01:08:36,958 --> 01:08:38,792 My whining days are over! 1449 01:08:38,875 --> 01:08:40,667 (THUNDER CLAPPING) 1450 01:08:43,250 --> 01:08:45,292 Oh, no, it's not enough 1451 01:08:46,208 --> 01:08:48,042 that we gotta be completely lost, 1452 01:08:48,125 --> 01:08:50,875 but we gotta be completely drenched, too! 1453 01:08:50,958 --> 01:08:52,083 And I gotta be wearing a wool coat 1454 01:08:52,167 --> 01:08:54,667 that makes me smell like a dog inside an automobile. 1455 01:08:54,792 --> 01:08:55,833 Alto! 1456 01:08:58,083 --> 01:08:59,958 New Mexico State Police. 1457 01:09:00,042 --> 01:09:01,792 How'd you find us? 1458 01:09:02,250 --> 01:09:03,250 Through prayer. 1459 01:09:04,042 --> 01:09:05,833 (THUNDER CLAPPING) 1460 01:09:05,958 --> 01:09:07,042 MAN 1: Mas rapido! 1461 01:09:07,125 --> 01:09:09,708 Please, we must move faster! 1462 01:09:11,583 --> 01:09:13,500 (PEOPLE HOLLERING) 1463 01:09:18,208 --> 01:09:20,833 The church! Get over to the church! 1464 01:09:25,250 --> 01:09:27,792 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 1465 01:09:38,083 --> 01:09:39,125 (GRINDING) 1466 01:09:39,208 --> 01:09:40,708 (BELL RINGING) 1467 01:09:40,792 --> 01:09:42,917 (PEOPLE HOLLERING IN SPANISH) 1468 01:09:48,292 --> 01:09:49,875 (CREAKING) 1469 01:09:54,333 --> 01:09:57,125 Come on, I can't do it alone. Let's go. 1470 01:10:07,792 --> 01:10:08,792 No! 1471 01:10:08,917 --> 01:10:10,208 (BELL RINGING) 1472 01:10:11,958 --> 01:10:13,167 (GROANING) 1473 01:10:15,125 --> 01:10:17,500 Isn't there anything you can do? 1474 01:10:18,333 --> 01:10:20,000 Up here, push up here. 1475 01:10:20,125 --> 01:10:22,542 Come on, honey. Push up here. 1476 01:10:24,042 --> 01:10:26,792 (WHISTLING) 1477 01:10:27,250 --> 01:10:29,042 (WOOD CREAKING) 1478 01:10:31,833 --> 01:10:34,083 Vera! Vera! 1479 01:10:36,875 --> 01:10:39,917 (WHISTLING) 1480 01:10:40,250 --> 01:10:42,083 (VERA TRUMPETING) 1481 01:11:18,958 --> 01:11:20,583 (ROOSTER CROWING) 1482 01:11:25,625 --> 01:11:26,958 (CHILDREN LAUGHING) 1483 01:11:28,833 --> 01:11:30,792 Senor Corcoran. 1484 01:11:30,875 --> 01:11:32,042 Gracias. 1485 01:11:33,042 --> 01:11:36,792 MAN: This is the plan for the shrine for Vera. 1486 01:11:37,583 --> 01:11:39,875 I prefer Vera to pose for me 1487 01:11:39,958 --> 01:11:42,750 for two hours every morning. 1488 01:11:42,833 --> 01:11:45,083 You know, I have to be taking Vera somewhere else. 1489 01:11:45,167 --> 01:11:47,083 MAN: Senor Corcoran. 1490 01:11:47,167 --> 01:11:49,458 Vera is the savior of our village. 1491 01:11:49,583 --> 01:11:51,125 We want her to stay. 1492 01:11:51,250 --> 01:11:52,500 Her and you, of course. 1493 01:11:52,625 --> 01:11:55,625 I don't know where I belong anymore, but... 1494 01:11:57,958 --> 01:12:00,125 Vera has a calling. 1495 01:12:00,208 --> 01:12:02,625 She's the elephant of my father. 1496 01:12:02,750 --> 01:12:04,000 I think that he would want me 1497 01:12:04,125 --> 01:12:05,958 to see that she gets into movies. 1498 01:12:06,042 --> 01:12:08,000 And you will be in the movies with her? 1499 01:12:08,125 --> 01:12:10,042 With her? Me? 1500 01:12:10,125 --> 01:12:13,000 Of course. I mean, you are a performer, no? 1501 01:12:14,125 --> 01:12:15,417 Well... 1502 01:12:18,292 --> 01:12:21,625 Do you have a phone that I might use someplace? 1503 01:12:27,208 --> 01:12:28,208 Ha! 1504 01:12:39,667 --> 01:12:42,042 Terry Bonura. "Hollywood, California." 1505 01:12:46,583 --> 01:12:49,250 TERRY: Jack, I've waited and waited and waited. 1506 01:12:49,333 --> 01:12:51,458 I thought you fell off the face of the Earth. 1507 01:12:51,583 --> 01:12:54,125 Well, Vera and I were perfecting one of our tricks. 1508 01:12:54,250 --> 01:12:56,625 Oh! God, I can't wait. 1509 01:12:56,708 --> 01:12:59,167 Listen, we're doing commercials all week, 1510 01:12:59,292 --> 01:13:01,125 down at the L.A. Sports arena. 1511 01:13:01,250 --> 01:13:02,833 Why don't you come down? 1512 01:13:02,958 --> 01:13:05,125 I'm the one with all the wild animals. You can't miss me. 1513 01:13:05,250 --> 01:13:06,833 Sure. 1514 01:13:06,958 --> 01:13:08,875 Would you call Mo and tell her we're definitely doing something together? 1515 01:13:08,958 --> 01:13:10,625 I mean, she called me twice, and... 1516 01:13:10,708 --> 01:13:12,000 I don't know how well you know Mo, but... 1517 01:13:12,125 --> 01:13:13,125 Consider it done. 1518 01:13:13,208 --> 01:13:14,625 (PHONE RINGING) 1519 01:13:14,708 --> 01:13:16,000 MO: Hello? 1520 01:13:16,125 --> 01:13:18,583 Mo. Jack Corcoran. I tried to let you down easy, 1521 01:13:18,667 --> 01:13:21,000 but I understand you've been harassing Terry. 1522 01:13:21,125 --> 01:13:23,958 Oh, yeah? You tell Terry to come clean out my cages. 1523 01:13:24,042 --> 01:13:25,625 You know, just because she has a bigger budget? 1524 01:13:25,750 --> 01:13:27,458 Oh, so that's what it's all about, huh? 1525 01:13:27,583 --> 01:13:30,958 You know, Vera deserves more than three shows a day, seven days a week. 1526 01:13:31,083 --> 01:13:32,125 (PHONE CLICKS) 1527 01:13:35,083 --> 01:13:36,208 Buenos dias, senor Jack. 1528 01:13:36,292 --> 01:13:37,875 Buenos dias, Padre. 1529 01:13:37,958 --> 01:13:40,458 The movies. The movies will be Vera's shrine. 1530 01:13:40,583 --> 01:13:41,958 How may we help? 1531 01:13:42,042 --> 01:13:44,042 Well, the movies, 1532 01:13:44,667 --> 01:13:46,208 are in downtown L.A., 1533 01:13:46,292 --> 01:13:48,625 which is two state lines away from here. 1534 01:13:48,750 --> 01:13:50,542 And I'm kind of... 1535 01:13:50,625 --> 01:13:51,625 Wanted? 1536 01:13:51,750 --> 01:13:52,625 Yes. 1537 01:13:52,708 --> 01:13:54,875 Oh, are you on America's Most Wanted? 1538 01:13:54,958 --> 01:13:56,125 Not yet. 1539 01:13:56,208 --> 01:13:58,208 Some day. 1540 01:13:58,292 --> 01:14:01,792 I've been looking at these maps of my father's, and... 1541 01:14:02,708 --> 01:14:04,125 I got the feeling 1542 01:14:04,250 --> 01:14:07,000 that state lines might get kind of fuzzy 1543 01:14:07,250 --> 01:14:09,000 around here. 1544 01:14:09,125 --> 01:14:11,667 MAN: We have many friends here. 1545 01:14:11,792 --> 01:14:13,667 How else may we help? 1546 01:14:13,792 --> 01:14:16,875 Well, I've noticed that people have been staring at me. 1547 01:14:16,958 --> 01:14:19,500 I think they're saying, "The guy wears the same clothes every day." 1548 01:14:19,625 --> 01:14:20,875 "Doesn't he have anything else?" 1549 01:14:20,958 --> 01:14:22,000 Javier! 1550 01:14:22,125 --> 01:14:24,042 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 1551 01:15:33,167 --> 01:15:35,583 Thank you. Same to you. 1552 01:16:05,125 --> 01:16:06,792 (DRUMS BEATING) 1553 01:16:41,250 --> 01:16:42,708 (TRUMPETING) 1554 01:16:49,958 --> 01:16:50,958 (GROANING) 1555 01:16:51,083 --> 01:16:54,167 Yeah, I think you're right. I smell peanuts, too. 1556 01:16:54,792 --> 01:16:56,792 (CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING) 1557 01:17:09,583 --> 01:17:11,042 (ELEPHANT GROANING) 1558 01:17:11,125 --> 01:17:12,500 MAN: Cut! 1559 01:17:23,583 --> 01:17:27,167 Hey. I guess I know who you two are. 1560 01:17:27,292 --> 01:17:29,667 Big one must be Vera, and you must be Jack, right? 1561 01:17:29,792 --> 01:17:30,875 Terry. 1562 01:17:32,333 --> 01:17:33,708 You're as pretty as you sound. 1563 01:17:34,917 --> 01:17:37,250 This is Rosie. This is Vera and Jack. 1564 01:17:37,333 --> 01:17:38,458 (SNORTING) 1565 01:17:38,583 --> 01:17:40,250 Where are your manners? Say hello. 1566 01:17:40,333 --> 01:17:41,458 (WHISTLING) 1567 01:17:41,583 --> 01:17:43,125 (GROANING) 1568 01:17:43,250 --> 01:17:45,542 Hey, you've quite a way with her. 1569 01:17:45,625 --> 01:17:46,875 Ever think about doing an act yourself? 1570 01:17:47,917 --> 01:17:49,250 It's funny you should say that. 1571 01:17:49,333 --> 01:17:53,875 First we'll do Vera's deal, and then we'll talk about your future. 1572 01:17:53,958 --> 01:17:56,542 This is Chris. He'll take care of Vera. 1573 01:17:56,625 --> 01:17:57,750 You come with me to the office. 1574 01:17:57,833 --> 01:17:59,833 Okay, I'll be right back. 1575 01:17:59,958 --> 01:18:02,208 You know, Jack, I am your only buyer now. 1576 01:18:02,292 --> 01:18:03,958 Word is, Mo's already spent her whole budget. 1577 01:18:04,042 --> 01:18:06,833 It's gonna take 50 for me to break even. 1578 01:18:06,958 --> 01:18:08,792 That's the truck Vera and I should have had. 1579 01:18:12,792 --> 01:18:15,792 Fifty? It's peanuts to somebody like yourself. Dig deep. 1580 01:18:17,250 --> 01:18:18,625 Fifty it is. 1581 01:18:19,792 --> 01:18:23,542 Let's see, here's the contract. Where's that damn pen? 1582 01:18:23,625 --> 01:18:25,875 So, what's this? An electric back-scratcher? 1583 01:18:25,958 --> 01:18:27,667 (CHUCKLES) 1584 01:18:27,792 --> 01:18:30,917 Back-scratcher? No, honey, that's an electric goad. 1585 01:18:31,708 --> 01:18:33,250 (PHONE RINGING) 1586 01:18:33,333 --> 01:18:36,625 Don't tell me you got her all the way here from Maryland without a zing or two. 1587 01:18:36,708 --> 01:18:39,250 Natural Talent, Terry Bonura speaking. 1588 01:18:40,667 --> 01:18:41,625 Hi. 1589 01:18:43,583 --> 01:18:46,458 No, you're supposed to bring them down to the ranch. 1590 01:18:46,583 --> 01:18:48,667 MAN: Rosie, get over! 1591 01:18:48,792 --> 01:18:51,708 TERRY: You can have your wife insured for a million dollars, 1592 01:18:51,792 --> 01:18:53,667 but that doesn't mean you can sell her for that much. 1593 01:18:53,792 --> 01:18:55,583 (ELEPHANT TRUMPETS) Huh. 1594 01:18:57,708 --> 01:19:00,792 The deal was three shows a day, seven days a week, right? 1595 01:19:04,000 --> 01:19:05,667 No, they're coming to us, remember? 1596 01:19:05,792 --> 01:19:08,583 I thought we were gonna be partners. 1597 01:19:08,667 --> 01:19:09,875 All right. 1598 01:19:09,958 --> 01:19:13,000 Jack? Vera's okay. Why don't you sign the papers? 1599 01:19:14,958 --> 01:19:17,125 Look, cookie, I'm trying to make this work. 1600 01:19:17,250 --> 01:19:18,958 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1601 01:19:40,792 --> 01:19:43,625 MAN ON RADIO: 7:48 San Diego time with Bob Mankiewicz. 1602 01:19:43,708 --> 01:19:45,292 (HORN HONKING) 1603 01:19:49,292 --> 01:19:51,792 I've got an elephant here for Sri Lanka. The gene-pool project. 1604 01:19:54,667 --> 01:19:56,208 Nothing on the sheet about another elephant. 1605 01:19:56,292 --> 01:19:57,917 You just didn't get the word. I know it's okay. 1606 01:19:58,000 --> 01:19:59,625 The sheet is the word. 1607 01:19:59,708 --> 01:20:01,792 We didn't come this far to get stopped by you. 1608 01:20:03,625 --> 01:20:05,625 Turn the vehicle around, sir, now. 1609 01:20:07,292 --> 01:20:08,958 I don't see why not. 1610 01:20:22,333 --> 01:20:24,708 ANNOUNCER: The white zone is for immediate loading 1611 01:20:24,792 --> 01:20:27,000 and unloading of passengers only. 1612 01:20:30,958 --> 01:20:34,833 All right, that was a little bumpy. Sorry. Sorry. Come out. 1613 01:20:34,958 --> 01:20:36,958 Let's go. Come on, move, move, move, move it. 1614 01:20:37,083 --> 01:20:41,542 MAN ON RADIO: Hey, y'all! San Diego country time comin' on 7:57. 1615 01:20:41,625 --> 01:20:43,250 (INDISTINCT) 1616 01:20:50,875 --> 01:20:52,583 (VERA SNORTING) 1617 01:20:54,958 --> 01:20:57,750 Would everybody in the building excuse us, please? 1618 01:20:57,833 --> 01:20:59,042 We're trying to make a plane. 1619 01:21:00,125 --> 01:21:01,792 (CROWD YELLING) 1620 01:21:06,125 --> 01:21:09,583 Could you just get up against the wall? Thank you. 1621 01:21:09,958 --> 01:21:11,000 Come on, honey. 1622 01:21:18,708 --> 01:21:20,958 One more for Sri Lanka, please. 1623 01:21:21,042 --> 01:21:23,875 Sir. Sir, you have introduced a dangerous animal 1624 01:21:23,958 --> 01:21:25,708 into a situation where people can get hurt. 1625 01:21:25,792 --> 01:21:28,500 She is not dangerous. She's very large, but she's jolly. 1626 01:21:28,625 --> 01:21:29,833 Well, you'll have to get the elephant out of here. 1627 01:21:29,958 --> 01:21:32,125 She's not just an elephant. She's a role model. 1628 01:21:32,208 --> 01:21:33,667 She saved my life. 1629 01:21:33,792 --> 01:21:36,792 She's trying to make a plane to Sri Lanka that leaves in three minutes. 1630 01:21:36,917 --> 01:21:38,458 If she could get on that plane, 1631 01:21:38,583 --> 01:21:40,042 she could carve out a whole new life for herself. 1632 01:21:40,125 --> 01:21:42,000 Excuse me! Excuse me! 1633 01:21:44,125 --> 01:21:46,792 All right. How do we know you have a connection with that flight? 1634 01:21:46,917 --> 01:21:47,833 How do we know you're not just a... 1635 01:21:47,958 --> 01:21:50,667 Just a guy walking around with an elephant? 1636 01:21:50,792 --> 01:21:51,792 Fair question. 1637 01:21:51,917 --> 01:21:53,875 Come on, work with me, will you? 1638 01:21:53,958 --> 01:21:55,833 Give us an escort out to the gate. 1639 01:21:55,958 --> 01:21:58,083 Then if I'm lying, you can shoot me. 1640 01:21:58,167 --> 01:22:01,000 You may both shoot me. 1641 01:22:01,125 --> 01:22:03,125 Now that's a good deal. That sounds good, doesn't it? 1642 01:22:03,250 --> 01:22:05,125 Jim? It is Jim, isn't it? 1643 01:22:05,792 --> 01:22:07,458 Yeah, it is. 1644 01:22:07,542 --> 01:22:10,625 Okay, all right, thank you. Good people. Jack Corcoran. Appreciate it. Thank you. 1645 01:22:10,750 --> 01:22:12,125 Don't listen to that man right there. 1646 01:22:12,208 --> 01:22:15,500 Don't listen to him. Him and his fuzzy friend are homicidal maniacs. 1647 01:22:15,625 --> 01:22:17,500 Mamas, grab your babies! Grab your babies! 1648 01:22:17,625 --> 01:22:20,042 Pick 'em up slow, and move back. 1649 01:22:20,125 --> 01:22:23,875 (SIGHS) You got a nut on your hands here. Good luck. I'll see ya. 1650 01:22:23,958 --> 01:22:25,792 Wait a minute. I don't have a minute. 1651 01:22:25,875 --> 01:22:27,042 They tried to hurt you, sir? 1652 01:22:27,125 --> 01:22:28,625 Yeah. 1653 01:22:28,708 --> 01:22:32,000 Tried to hurt me, all right. Yeah. 1654 01:22:32,125 --> 01:22:34,958 Acted like my truckin' buddy for a while, and then he tried to kill me. 1655 01:22:35,083 --> 01:22:36,125 Hijacked my rig! 1656 01:22:36,250 --> 01:22:37,458 Hijacked? 1657 01:22:37,583 --> 01:22:39,833 Yeah. He's gonna try and do the same thing to your 747. 1658 01:22:39,958 --> 01:22:42,833 Watch him, he's a hustler! He's street-smart. 1659 01:22:44,125 --> 01:22:46,583 Yeah, proceed with caution. 1660 01:22:46,667 --> 01:22:49,083 Possible suspect down in... Possible... 1661 01:22:52,708 --> 01:22:53,792 What was that? 1662 01:22:54,208 --> 01:22:55,750 (CLEARS THROAT) 1663 01:22:56,833 --> 01:22:58,625 What's that? MAN: What was what? 1664 01:23:01,292 --> 01:23:03,833 There's something in that bag. Be careful. Somebody... 1665 01:23:06,958 --> 01:23:08,083 I saw... 1666 01:23:08,958 --> 01:23:09,875 I saw that! 1667 01:23:09,958 --> 01:23:12,000 Back-up. Bring in back up, I think. 1668 01:23:12,125 --> 01:23:13,875 Don't do it alone. Bring in some back-up. 1669 01:23:13,958 --> 01:23:15,667 He's got something in that bag. 1670 01:23:21,125 --> 01:23:23,625 Huh. You wanna, you... You... 1671 01:23:23,708 --> 01:23:26,083 We got a possible case 212. 212. 1672 01:23:26,167 --> 01:23:27,958 Concourse D. We need back-up sent right away. 1673 01:23:28,083 --> 01:23:30,875 We're gonna need a couple pounds of bacon and some Polish sausage. 1674 01:23:30,958 --> 01:23:33,000 Dear Lord Jesus! 1675 01:23:33,125 --> 01:23:34,917 This whole thing is a sting. 1676 01:23:37,750 --> 01:23:41,583 So, what if the thing's a federal sting operation to get to me? 1677 01:23:41,667 --> 01:23:43,000 Focus. Focus. Focus. 1678 01:23:43,667 --> 01:23:46,042 (TIP YELLS) 1679 01:23:52,125 --> 01:23:54,792 (YELLING UNINTELLIGIBLY) 1680 01:23:54,917 --> 01:23:57,875 Sucker! On the highway! And I tell you what! 1681 01:23:57,958 --> 01:23:59,875 If you think it's gonna be easy to get me, 1682 01:23:59,958 --> 01:24:01,750 you got another thing coming! 1683 01:24:01,833 --> 01:24:04,125 I got this from your oily girlfriend. 1684 01:24:08,125 --> 01:24:09,667 (YELLING) 1685 01:24:09,792 --> 01:24:11,083 Are you gonna help or not? 1686 01:24:11,167 --> 01:24:12,125 Hi-ya! 1687 01:24:12,250 --> 01:24:14,000 MAN: Get him, Frank! Get him! 1688 01:24:14,125 --> 01:24:16,000 Please, for the love of God, help. 1689 01:24:16,125 --> 01:24:17,458 (ZAPPING) 1690 01:24:17,542 --> 01:24:20,125 If an agent goes down, you're gonna have blood on your hands. 1691 01:24:23,833 --> 01:24:25,875 (ZAPPING) 1692 01:24:25,958 --> 01:24:27,125 Come on, this isn't funny now. 1693 01:24:28,292 --> 01:24:29,833 (YELLING) 1694 01:24:30,292 --> 01:24:31,833 Go! Go! 1695 01:24:38,042 --> 01:24:42,250 JACK: Excuse me. Come on. Come on. Step aside, ladies! 1696 01:24:44,250 --> 01:24:47,458 Woo-hoo! We made it. We made it. 1697 01:24:47,583 --> 01:24:49,125 One more for first class! 1698 01:24:49,208 --> 01:24:50,958 (TIP SCREAMING) 1699 01:24:54,833 --> 01:24:56,167 (VERA TRUMPETS) 1700 01:25:00,792 --> 01:25:01,750 You Mo? 1701 01:25:01,833 --> 01:25:04,792 Is this Vera? Oh, she's beautiful. 1702 01:25:04,917 --> 01:25:06,875 You know, Jack, I spent my whole budget. 1703 01:25:06,958 --> 01:25:08,292 Yeah, Terry told me. 1704 01:25:08,375 --> 01:25:11,792 I'm curious. With all the decent animal trainers in this world, 1705 01:25:11,917 --> 01:25:13,958 how could you hook up with Terry? 1706 01:25:14,083 --> 01:25:15,792 Terry had a nice telephone manner. 1707 01:25:17,875 --> 01:25:19,167 She gonna be all right on that thing? 1708 01:25:19,292 --> 01:25:22,125 Relax, animal lover, she'll be fine. 1709 01:25:22,208 --> 01:25:26,167 They're very good company for one another, and they're infinitely patient. 1710 01:25:26,292 --> 01:25:28,500 Mo, can I take this one? 1711 01:25:34,583 --> 01:25:36,458 Come on, girl. Come on. 1712 01:25:36,583 --> 01:25:38,167 (WHISTLING) Come on. 1713 01:25:44,958 --> 01:25:46,167 (SIGHS) 1714 01:25:46,292 --> 01:25:49,125 Well, you go on ahead and have a lot of little elephants. 1715 01:25:49,208 --> 01:25:53,042 You got me to a better place, and I'm gonna do the same for you. 1716 01:25:54,792 --> 01:25:58,167 I'll even pretend that it doesn't hurt to watch you get on the plane. 1717 01:26:04,250 --> 01:26:05,792 (WHISTLING) 1718 01:26:06,792 --> 01:26:07,917 (GROANS) 1719 01:26:24,583 --> 01:26:26,125 (TRUMPETING) 1720 01:26:47,250 --> 01:26:48,792 (TRUMPETS) 1721 01:26:50,208 --> 01:26:52,125 MAN: Oh, oh, come. 1722 01:26:53,250 --> 01:26:55,000 (ELEPHANT CHIRPING) 1723 01:27:12,125 --> 01:27:16,125 Right now I'm supposed to be giving the biggest speech of my life. 1724 01:27:16,250 --> 01:27:18,125 I'm 50,000 in the hole, 1725 01:27:19,167 --> 01:27:21,000 I've stolen a truck, 1726 01:27:22,875 --> 01:27:24,958 and all I can think about is how much I'm gonna miss her. 1727 01:27:28,292 --> 01:27:31,542 You know, they say an elephant never forgets. 1728 01:27:33,042 --> 01:27:35,542 But what they don't tell you is that 1729 01:27:36,292 --> 01:27:38,167 you never forget an elephant. 1730 01:27:53,333 --> 01:27:54,542 (SQUEAKING) 1731 01:27:54,625 --> 01:27:56,000 (LAUGHING) 1732 01:28:05,333 --> 01:28:08,125 You wanna go to Salads & Such? I'm vegetarian. 1733 01:28:09,167 --> 01:28:10,958 So was Vera. 1734 01:28:11,083 --> 01:28:13,208 (LIFE IS A CARNIVAL PLAYING) 1735 01:28:32,250 --> 01:28:34,917 * You can walk on the water 1736 01:28:35,000 --> 01:28:37,500 * Drown in the sand 1737 01:28:37,625 --> 01:28:40,125 * You can fly off a mountain top 1738 01:28:40,250 --> 01:28:42,083 * If anybody can 1739 01:28:42,167 --> 01:28:45,458 * Run away, run away 1740 01:28:45,583 --> 01:28:47,583 * It's the restless age 1741 01:28:47,667 --> 01:28:50,458 * Look away, look away 1742 01:28:50,583 --> 01:28:52,542 * You can turn the page 1743 01:28:53,958 --> 01:28:58,583 * Hey, buddy, would you like to buy a watch real cheap 1744 01:29:00,583 --> 01:29:02,292 * Here on the street 1745 01:29:04,583 --> 01:29:09,208 * I got six on each arm and two more round my feet 1746 01:29:11,750 --> 01:29:14,958 * Life is a carnival 1747 01:29:15,083 --> 01:29:17,125 * Believe it or not 1748 01:29:17,208 --> 01:29:20,208 * Life is a carnival 1749 01:29:20,292 --> 01:29:22,125 * Two bits a shot 1750 01:29:33,583 --> 01:29:38,250 * Saw a man with the jinx in the third degree 1751 01:29:38,625 --> 01:29:41,000 * From trying to deal with people 1752 01:29:41,125 --> 01:29:43,125 * People you can't see 1753 01:29:43,250 --> 01:29:46,875 * Take away, take away 1754 01:29:46,958 --> 01:29:48,667 * This house of mirrors 1755 01:29:48,792 --> 01:29:51,625 * Give away, give away 1756 01:29:51,708 --> 01:29:53,708 * All the souvenirs 1757 01:29:54,708 --> 01:29:56,958 * We're all in the same boat 1758 01:29:57,083 --> 01:30:00,208 * Ready to float off the edge of the world 1759 01:30:01,583 --> 01:30:03,292 * The flat old world 1760 01:30:04,750 --> 01:30:07,000 * The street is a sideshow 1761 01:30:07,125 --> 01:30:11,583 * From the peddler to the corner girl 1762 01:30:13,125 --> 01:30:16,042 * Life is a carnival 1763 01:30:16,125 --> 01:30:18,500 * It's in the book 1764 01:30:18,625 --> 01:30:21,083 * Life is a carnival 1765 01:30:21,167 --> 01:30:23,167 * Take another look 1766 01:30:56,250 --> 01:31:01,292 * Hey, buddy, would you like to buy a watch real cheap 1767 01:31:02,833 --> 01:31:04,792 * Here on the street 1768 01:31:06,833 --> 01:31:11,667 * I got six on each arm and two more round my feet 1769 01:31:14,208 --> 01:31:16,792 * Life is a carnival 1770 01:31:17,583 --> 01:31:19,625 * Believe it or not 1771 01:31:19,708 --> 01:31:22,083 * Life is a carnival 1772 01:31:22,792 --> 01:31:24,792 * Two bits a shot 1773 01:31:24,875 --> 01:31:27,625 * Life is a carnival 1774 01:31:27,708 --> 01:31:30,208 * Life is a carnival 1775 01:31:30,292 --> 01:31:33,042 * Life is a carnival