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00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX

2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

3
00:02:57,245 --> 00:02:58,646
[alarm clock sounds]

4
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,917
Ohh...

5
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:05,453
I've got a feeling

6
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,855
something special's
going to happen today.

7
00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:12,393
Ahh.

8
00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:14,528
Things to do today.

9
00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:17,598
"Make check mark
on paper."

10
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,601
"Cross item out."

11
00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:22,803
No time for that,
I'm afraid.

12
00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:25,873
"And finally say,

13
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:31,144
'That seems pretty senseless,
but... whatever.'"

14
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,747
That seems
pretty senseless, but...

15
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:34,815
whatever!

16
00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:39,920
That's odd.

17
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:46,460
Joan, honey,
did you put these
trash cans on the curb?

18
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:50,364
Oh, I left the trash
out overnight.

19
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,803
Oh, dear.

20
00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:59,440
Oh, no.
Someone's stolen
our garbage again.

21
00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:07,548
Oh, I just feel
so awful about this.

22
00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,683
Darling, please.
It's not your fault.

23
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,885
It's the world
we live in today.

24
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:14,822
There are people
out there for whom
nothing is sacred,

25
00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:17,491
people who will steal
a man's garbage

26
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,693
week after week
after week.

27
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,194
We can get
through it, honey.

28
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,196
We'll borrow some
garbage till we're
back on our feet.

29
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:26,434
Don't you see, Joan?
That's exactly what
they're counting on.

30
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:30,438
Whoever keeps doing this
knows that people like us
sit back and take it.

31
00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:32,139
I won't
take it anymore.

32
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:35,309
Oh, Stanley, please.
Don't get involved.

33
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:37,311
I already am involved,
Joan.

34
00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:39,713
Someone has stolen
from my family,

35
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,916
and I will not rest
until I bring them
to justice.

36
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:47,955
Mmm.

37
00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:01,128
[snores]

38
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,769
[snoring]

39
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:11,405
Huh?

40
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,413
What in the world?

41
00:06:58,486 --> 00:06:59,753
They're getting away!

42
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:02,189
I've got to follow them,
but how?

43
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,093
Two wheels.

44
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,730
Four wheels.

45
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,501
Eight wheels.

46
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,002
All right, crooks.

47
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:17,705
Now you've got
Stanley Stupid
on your trail.

48
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,123
Morning, Petunia.

49
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,357
Morning, Buster.

50
00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:39,026
Hey, sis,
have you seen Dad?

51
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,260
Isn't he sleeping?

52
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:42,395
No. And he's not
outside, either.

53
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,397
I got up early
to walk my fish,

54
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,266
and he was
already gone.

55
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:47,601
Do you think maybe...

56
00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,202
he's been kidnapped?

57
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:53,807
Oh, my God.
We must go to
the police station!

58
00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:56,977
Just as soon as
we've left a note
for Mom.

59
00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:58,912
Hmm?

60
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,180
Oh.

61
00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:17,565
Take this down.

62
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:22,803
"We have gone
to the police."

63
00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:25,639
Po...lice.

64
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:29,076
"Daddy's been
kidnapped."

65
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:31,579
Kid...napped.

66
00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:34,548
"Don't worry.
We'll be back
soon."

67
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:37,284
Signed...
"Your children."

68
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:40,621
Your children.

69
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:45,192
Let's move.

70
00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:51,999
Stanley?

71
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:55,168
Buster?

72
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:56,970
Petunia?

73
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,540
Stanley?

74
00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:01,541
Buster?

75
00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:03,143
Petunia?

76
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,078
Where is everybody?

77
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,486
It's impossible!

78
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,555
It can't be true.

79
00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:18,491
[phone rings]

80
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:19,526
Hello?

81
00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:22,062
Hello, is this
Mrs. Stupid?

82
00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:22,996
Yes.

83
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,132
I'm calling from
the police station,

84
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:26,199
Mrs. Stupid.

85
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:29,436
We, uh, have your
children here,
ma'am.

86
00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,839
Oh, my God, it's true!

87
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,875
The police have kidnapped
my children!

88
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:56,997
You two just sit
tight.

89
00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:59,933
We'll have you home
in a minute.

90
00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:10,143
[car horn blares]

91
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:25,258
OK, mister.
It's your turn now!

92
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:44,177
- [children] Bye! Bye! Bye!
- [Stanley] Bye!

93
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:48,749
Mom?

94
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,919
Mom?

95
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:54,087
Mom!

96
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:00,761
Mom?

97
00:11:00,828 --> 00:11:02,495
It's no use.

98
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,264
Mom's gone, too.

99
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:08,001
And we seem to be caught
in a deadly game
of cat and mouse.

100
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:24,117
He left without
even ringing the bell.

101
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:28,055
Apparently,
he only wanted us
to find this.

102
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,025
What's
the Jade Palace?

103
00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:34,694
And what does it
have to do with
Dad and Mom?

104
00:11:34,762 --> 00:11:36,096
I don't know,
Petunia.

105
00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:38,331
But it's time
we went there
and found out.

106
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,641
Friday. June fourth.

107
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:51,044
Today my world
turned upside down.

108
00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:53,446
First, I discovered
my husband missing.

109
00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:57,650
Then, I learned my children had
been kidnapped by the police.

110
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:02,022
Now the fate of my family
rests in my hands.

111
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:06,026
Note to self.

112
00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:08,428
I must buy hand-held
tape recorder.

113
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:12,232
Then I will no longer
be speaking into
the garage door opener.

114
00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:24,912
Some people can be
so inconsiderate!

115
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,425
Just the two of you?

116
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:41,061
Why... yes.

117
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:45,098
So they have been
expecting us.

118
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:55,775
Ohh... oh.

119
00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:18,331
And what can I
get for you?

120
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:21,568
Oh, I think you've got
a pretty good idea

121
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,136
what we're looking
for.

122
00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:25,906
May I recommend
the cashew chicken?

123
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:28,909
You'll get your cash
when we get our
parents back.

124
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:30,878
And don't
call us chicken.

125
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:00,941
Oh, no. The truck!

126
00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:02,542
It's gone!

127
00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:04,111
I've lost it!

128
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,413
Now it could be
anywhere!

129
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:11,184
Finding it now would be
like finding a needle
in a haystack!

130
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:19,859
[engine starts]

131
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:30,938
It's always the last place
you think of lookin'.

132
00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:48,788
I'll never get
the hang of these things.

133
00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:51,591
Still no sign
of Mom or Dad.

134
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:53,293
I don't get it,
Buster.

135
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,429
Don't worry, Petunia.
Whoever brought us here
will contact us

136
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:58,631
when the time is right.

137
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,408
Buster,
it's a message!

138
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:14,047
"Time flies when
you're having fun."

139
00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:16,984
"Time flies
when you're having fun"?

140
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:18,818
Wait a minute!

141
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:22,289
Isn't the Daily Times
published just a few
blocks away?

142
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:23,290
Yes!

143
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:25,792
At the corner of
Fun Street and Fly!

144
00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:28,261
No, it's Maple
and Fifth.

145
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:30,930
Close enough.
Let's move.

146
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,473
OK. Camouflage lesson
number one.

147
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:44,444
To look like a bush,
you have to think like a bush.

148
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:49,349
OK. Here I am
just being a bush,

149
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,484
just growin'
and hangin' out.

150
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:54,487
Yes, this is
the life for me.

151
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:57,690
Sure is a lot of soil
around here.

152
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,426
A lot of sunshine, too.

153
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:02,362
As a bush,
I notice these things.

154
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,631
Wait a minute.
What's this?

155
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,633
I have arms.

156
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,635
I am a bush with arms!

157
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,437
And legs!

158
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:15,042
I am the first bush
in history with legs!

159
00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:17,744
I can walk!

160
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,313
[grunts]

161
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,786
Oh, gaze ye unbelievers
upon this miracle.

162
00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:28,488
This walking bush--

163
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:29,722
half man, half plant--

164
00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:32,825
he dwells in two worlds
but is the master of both!

165
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:34,394
Oh, man-bush,

166
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:37,297
you are nature's
greatest wonder!

167
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:45,004
[engine starts]

168
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:51,378
Poor fools
thought I was a bush.

169
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:56,383
I'll lock up the bikes.
You keep a lookout.

170
00:17:01,788 --> 00:17:04,391
Let's move.

171
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:17,370
[gasps]
My children!

172
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:27,414
[car horns blaring]

173
00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:29,416
What's the matter
with you?!

174
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,484
You don't know
how to drive?!

175
00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:39,092
Police.

176
00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:40,427
If they recognize me,

177
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:43,096
they're sure to
kidnap me, too.

178
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:45,298
What to do?

179
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:57,877
My gosh!

180
00:17:57,944 --> 00:18:01,047
There must be thousands
of people's garbage here.

181
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:02,882
Tens of thousands, even.

182
00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:08,388
Why, the sheer organization
necessary to pull off
a heist like this...

183
00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:11,424
I've uncovered the crime
of the century!

184
00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:25,672
Good day, officers.

185
00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:33,513
Yes!

186
00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:09,849
Is that everyone?

187
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:11,584
Affirmative, sir.

188
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,353
It's show time.

189
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:24,597
Welcome, gentlemen.

190
00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:30,069
I apologize
for the unpleasantness
of our surroundings.

191
00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:32,705
The setting was chosen
for its seclusion,

192
00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:34,541
not its beauty.

193
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,479
The weapons
you are about to see

194
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:42,815
are American-made,
and, I humbly submit,

195
00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:44,684
the world's best.

196
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:56,696
International law has long
kept you from acquiring them,

197
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,097
but as of now,

198
00:19:58,164 --> 00:20:01,100
I hope to help you
overcome that.

199
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,969
Lieutenant.

200
00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:07,507
The first piece of equipment
we'd like to demonstrate

201
00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:09,742
is the dragon
anti-tank missile.

202
00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:15,348
Whether you want to foment
revolution or suppress it,

203
00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:18,318
this hardware
will help you get it done.

204
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:21,120
Strange, indeed,
are the workings of fate.

205
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:22,922
How could I have known
that today I would wander

206
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:27,727
into the jaws of some kind
of super-crime?

207
00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:29,396
Pardon me.

208
00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:32,399
Chances are,
my life is already in danger,

209
00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:34,534
yet I feel strangely,
intensely alive.

210
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:37,537
Every nerve is alert,
every sense working overtime.

211
00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:40,307
Nothing escapes my eye.

212
00:20:43,142 --> 00:20:45,345
[laughs]
'Scuse me.

213
00:20:47,213 --> 00:20:49,282
One journey
has come to an end,

214
00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:53,920
but I've got a feeling
the real adventure
has just begun.

215
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,900
Buster, Petunia!

216
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:09,702
Aah!
Aah!

217
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,871
It's some kind of
ape woman!

218
00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:13,340
Oh, no. It's me.

219
00:21:13,406 --> 00:21:15,508
Your mother!

220
00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:18,077
Your mother's
some kind of
ape woman?!

221
00:21:18,144 --> 00:21:21,348
No, no. Children,
it's a disguise.

222
00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:25,352
They're wigs.

223
00:21:25,418 --> 00:21:28,555
- Ah!
- Ah!

224
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:32,158
Next up
is an updated version

225
00:21:32,224 --> 00:21:34,427
of the .45-caliber
personal sidearm.

226
00:21:41,568 --> 00:21:44,704
I think you'll appreciate
the increase in stopping power.

227
00:22:12,565 --> 00:22:14,501
Here we have
the traditional

228
00:22:14,567 --> 00:22:16,536
M16 assault weapon

229
00:22:16,603 --> 00:22:18,538
with extra-new capabilities.

230
00:22:18,605 --> 00:22:20,540
Not only will it fire...

231
00:22:20,607 --> 00:22:23,376
excuse me.
You got a pen
I could borrow?

232
00:22:26,212 --> 00:22:28,147
[speaking
foreign language]

233
00:22:28,214 --> 00:22:29,482
Thank you very much.

234
00:22:29,549 --> 00:22:31,551
So what's going on
around here,

235
00:22:31,618 --> 00:22:33,152
some kind of
company picnic?

236
00:22:33,219 --> 00:22:34,487
[speaking
foreign language]

237
00:22:34,554 --> 00:22:37,657
Why, that's a very
festive name for it.

238
00:22:37,724 --> 00:22:39,792
Notice all that garbage
out there?

239
00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:41,093
It's all stolen.

240
00:22:42,261 --> 00:22:43,963
There's something fishy
going on.

241
00:22:44,030 --> 00:22:46,533
Frankly, our lives may
already be in danger.

242
00:22:46,599 --> 00:22:47,800
[shouts in foreign language]

243
00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:48,901
I hear ya, pal.

244
00:22:48,968 --> 00:22:50,770
At first I was pretty
tongue-tied myself.

245
00:22:55,842 --> 00:22:57,109
Oh, Jerry, help.

246
00:22:57,176 --> 00:22:59,946
I need a new headline
for the entertainment
section.

247
00:23:00,012 --> 00:23:02,949
"HBO has given the order
for a pair of original,

248
00:23:03,015 --> 00:23:06,085
outer-space themed shows
for the new season."

249
00:23:06,152 --> 00:23:08,421
Let's see.
What about...

250
00:23:12,358 --> 00:23:15,294
"Two alien pilots
picked up by network."

251
00:23:15,361 --> 00:23:16,228
Perfect.

252
00:23:16,295 --> 00:23:18,565
I'm sending it.

253
00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:22,735
Hey, you guys,
give me a hand
in metro, will ya?

254
00:23:22,802 --> 00:23:26,005
We were supposed to be
in print five minutes ago.

255
00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:31,177
Psst!

256
00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:32,579
Sis, over here.

257
00:23:32,645 --> 00:23:34,180
I found a computer.

258
00:23:37,049 --> 00:23:39,986
What have you got
in mind, Petunia?

259
00:23:40,052 --> 00:23:42,922
A little ride
on the information
super highway, Mom.

260
00:23:42,989 --> 00:23:44,857
In this age
of microtechnology,

261
00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:47,760
the computer's our gateway
to information.

262
00:23:47,827 --> 00:23:51,097
Now all we've gotta do
is figure out the password.

263
00:23:59,205 --> 00:24:00,873
How about nose?

264
00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:03,009
It's worth a try!

265
00:24:05,612 --> 00:24:07,547
All right, computer,

266
00:24:07,614 --> 00:24:10,983
now tell us everything
we need to know about...

267
00:24:11,050 --> 00:24:13,052
Stanley...

268
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:15,555
Stupid.

269
00:24:17,223 --> 00:24:18,457
Relax, soldier.

270
00:24:18,525 --> 00:24:21,160
A week from now,
we'll both be
wealthy men.

271
00:24:21,227 --> 00:24:22,495
I suppose so, sir.

272
00:24:22,562 --> 00:24:24,296
But I can't help
wondering

273
00:24:24,363 --> 00:24:28,167
what our country
would think of
what we're doing.

274
00:24:28,234 --> 00:24:30,970
This year
our country

275
00:24:31,037 --> 00:24:33,573
refused my promotion,
Lieutenant.

276
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:36,943
They have only
themselves
to blame now.

277
00:24:40,847 --> 00:24:43,716
You really think
we can pull this off?

278
00:24:45,652 --> 00:24:48,320
I gave my life
to the military.

279
00:24:48,387 --> 00:24:51,991
Nothing's gonna stop me
from getting something back.

280
00:24:53,860 --> 00:24:57,363
Sir, I think
we have a potential
situation.

281
00:24:57,429 --> 00:24:58,998
What is it, soldier?

282
00:24:59,065 --> 00:25:01,133
An individual appears
to have infiltrated
the proceedings.

283
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:04,336
As far as we can tell,
he's not affiliated with
any of the buyers.

284
00:25:04,403 --> 00:25:07,640
It's the CIA.
We're probably
already surrounded.

285
00:25:07,707 --> 00:25:10,877
Negative, sir.
He appears to be
alone.

286
00:25:10,943 --> 00:25:12,144
Alone?

287
00:25:12,211 --> 00:25:13,445
Hmm.

288
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:16,616
Just what kinda
cowboy agent is this guy?

289
00:25:30,863 --> 00:25:33,700
No one is to disturb him
without my order.

290
00:25:33,766 --> 00:25:36,502
The buyers must not know
anything is amiss.

291
00:25:36,569 --> 00:25:38,705
[choked voice]
Understood, sir.

292
00:25:43,542 --> 00:25:45,477
If I know my business,

293
00:25:45,544 --> 00:25:47,980
the operative
will contact us.

294
00:25:59,592 --> 00:26:02,528
To walk into
a situation like this

295
00:26:02,595 --> 00:26:03,963
without support...

296
00:26:04,030 --> 00:26:06,198
this guy must be
fearless.

297
00:26:06,265 --> 00:26:08,200
Yes.

298
00:26:16,242 --> 00:26:18,778
And very, very smart.

299
00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:24,884
"Business, weather,
sports."

300
00:26:24,951 --> 00:26:27,186
What is it trying
to tell us?

301
00:26:27,253 --> 00:26:28,554
It's computer jargon, Mom.

302
00:26:28,621 --> 00:26:31,791
It's like a whole
different language.

303
00:26:31,858 --> 00:26:33,525
Now hand me a photo of Dad,

304
00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:36,829
and let's see what
we can find out.

305
00:26:40,232 --> 00:26:42,201
It's processing the data.

306
00:26:46,739 --> 00:26:47,674
What does it say?

307
00:26:47,740 --> 00:26:48,908
"Fatal error...

308
00:26:48,975 --> 00:26:50,677
Drive B."

309
00:26:50,743 --> 00:26:52,278
Oh, my God!

310
00:26:52,344 --> 00:26:53,245
What does it mean?

311
00:26:53,312 --> 00:26:54,413
I don't know!

312
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:56,649
We've
got to warn
your father.

313
00:26:59,218 --> 00:27:00,152
Whoa!

314
00:27:00,219 --> 00:27:01,253
Wha!

315
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:02,254
Oh!

316
00:27:02,321 --> 00:27:03,255
Oh!

317
00:27:03,322 --> 00:27:04,456
Look out!

318
00:27:04,523 --> 00:27:05,925
Let's go!

319
00:27:07,559 --> 00:27:09,495
We'd better
get outta here.

320
00:27:09,561 --> 00:27:10,930
Let's go!

321
00:27:12,531 --> 00:27:14,366
[excited yelling]

322
00:27:26,345 --> 00:27:27,980
Our bikes are gone!

323
00:27:31,217 --> 00:27:33,419
And the cops have
surrounded my car!

324
00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:35,421
Run for your lives!

325
00:27:58,544 --> 00:28:00,713
[classical music plays]

326
00:28:00,780 --> 00:28:02,314
[beeping]

327
00:28:06,652 --> 00:28:09,655
[speaking
alien language]

328
00:28:09,722 --> 00:28:12,258
[beeping]

329
00:28:23,535 --> 00:28:24,904
[feminine sigh]

330
00:28:31,677 --> 00:28:34,947
[speaking alien
language]

331
00:28:43,689 --> 00:28:45,091
Whoa!

332
00:28:46,292 --> 00:28:47,226
Wow!

333
00:28:56,702 --> 00:28:59,371
[alien language]
...Stanley Stupid!

334
00:29:03,109 --> 00:29:05,111
[speaks foreign language]

335
00:29:06,846 --> 00:29:08,314
[speaks foreign language]

336
00:29:09,715 --> 00:29:11,317
[speaks foreign language]

337
00:29:12,218 --> 00:29:14,353
Cool runnings,
my brother.

338
00:29:16,755 --> 00:29:18,324
Bye. Thank you.

339
00:29:20,592 --> 00:29:22,361
[speaks foreign language]

340
00:29:24,730 --> 00:29:26,132
[speaks foreign language]

341
00:29:26,198 --> 00:29:26,966
Ah. Ah.

342
00:29:29,035 --> 00:29:30,102
[speaks foreign language]

343
00:29:30,169 --> 00:29:31,303
[speaks foreign language]

344
00:29:32,872 --> 00:29:33,840
[clicks heels]

345
00:29:33,906 --> 00:29:34,807
[speaks foreign language]

346
00:29:34,874 --> 00:29:35,942
[speaks foreign language]

347
00:29:36,008 --> 00:29:37,576
Hi. Stanley Stupid.

348
00:29:37,643 --> 00:29:39,011
Oh.

349
00:29:39,078 --> 00:29:42,014
Honored to make
your acquaintance,
Mr. Stupid.

350
00:29:42,081 --> 00:29:44,616
You must be
a highly skilled
investigator

351
00:29:44,683 --> 00:29:46,618
to have discovered
all of this.

352
00:29:46,685 --> 00:29:48,620
Actually, I knew
I was on the trail

353
00:29:48,687 --> 00:29:50,422
of some pretty
crafty thieves,

354
00:29:50,489 --> 00:29:54,026
but I had no idea
there would be this
much garbage out here.

355
00:29:54,093 --> 00:29:57,096
You are clearly
an agent of
enormous talents.

356
00:29:57,163 --> 00:29:59,832
It's a shame
the government
will never reward you

357
00:29:59,899 --> 00:30:01,200
as richly
as you deserve.

358
00:30:01,267 --> 00:30:03,435
No. The government
doesn't even know
I'm here!

359
00:30:03,502 --> 00:30:06,839
Ah. And that's why
you've approached me,
isn't it?

360
00:30:06,906 --> 00:30:08,841
To come and get
your share,

361
00:30:08,908 --> 00:30:10,709
one way or another?

362
00:30:10,776 --> 00:30:11,978
Actually, mister,

363
00:30:12,044 --> 00:30:14,446
I've approached you
because I need a car.

364
00:30:14,513 --> 00:30:18,317
Lieutenant,
give our friend
the keys to my car.

365
00:30:20,419 --> 00:30:22,454
A gift to the gifted.

366
00:30:22,521 --> 00:30:23,990
Well, thank you
very much!

367
00:30:24,056 --> 00:30:25,657
That's incredibly
generous!

368
00:30:25,724 --> 00:30:28,060
Thanks a lot!

369
00:30:30,062 --> 00:30:33,399
And to think I just
wanted a ride back to town!

370
00:30:35,734 --> 00:30:38,004
Thanks, everybody!
I'll see ya!

371
00:30:46,145 --> 00:30:47,880
Talk about
nerves of steel...

372
00:30:47,947 --> 00:30:50,849
completely surrounded,
and he didn't even blink.

373
00:30:50,917 --> 00:30:52,584
We bought him off
for now, sir,

374
00:30:52,651 --> 00:30:55,354
but what's to stop him
from turning us in
anyway?

375
00:30:55,421 --> 00:30:57,623
You are, soldier.

376
00:30:57,689 --> 00:30:59,025
Without disturbing
our clients,

377
00:30:59,091 --> 00:31:00,960
follow, then terminate
the target

378
00:31:01,027 --> 00:31:02,628
with extreme
prejudice.

379
00:31:02,694 --> 00:31:04,496
Yes, sir!

380
00:31:08,300 --> 00:31:09,601
Meaning?

381
00:31:09,668 --> 00:31:11,403
Kill him.

382
00:31:11,470 --> 00:31:12,504
Right.

383
00:31:17,309 --> 00:31:18,510
Oh!

384
00:31:18,577 --> 00:31:19,946
Boy...

385
00:31:20,012 --> 00:31:22,915
you never realize
how many policemen
there are

386
00:31:22,982 --> 00:31:25,484
until the day they
turn against you.

387
00:31:25,551 --> 00:31:28,254
This is the biggest
emergency of our lives,

388
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,322
and we can't even call 9-1-1!

389
00:31:30,389 --> 00:31:34,060
A crisis like this
calls for even
a higher authority.

390
00:31:34,126 --> 00:31:37,263
Mom, dial 10-1-1.

391
00:31:37,329 --> 00:31:40,066
I'm afraid that's not
good enough, children.

392
00:31:40,132 --> 00:31:43,469
Your father's life
is on the line.

393
00:31:43,535 --> 00:31:46,973
I'm calling 75,496-1-1.

394
00:31:51,210 --> 00:31:53,545
[phone ringing]

395
00:31:55,747 --> 00:31:56,949
Yeah.

396
00:31:57,016 --> 00:31:58,684
Hello. My name
is Joan Stupid.

397
00:31:58,750 --> 00:32:01,387
I'm a housewife,
and I desperately
need your help.

398
00:32:01,453 --> 00:32:04,290
Let me guess, lady.
You've had a hectic
day runnin' around

399
00:32:04,356 --> 00:32:05,857
taking care of
the kids,

400
00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:08,360
and now you're panicked
'cause your husband's
due home.

401
00:32:08,427 --> 00:32:09,595
That's right!

402
00:32:09,661 --> 00:32:11,497
And you haven't
had time to cook
dinner, right?

403
00:32:11,563 --> 00:32:14,033
That's right, too!

404
00:32:15,334 --> 00:32:17,403
I hear it every day
of the week.

405
00:32:17,469 --> 00:32:19,705
You need
our family special.
What's your address?

406
00:32:19,771 --> 00:32:21,307
55 maple street.

407
00:32:21,373 --> 00:32:24,576
Uh-huh. And does
your family like
coleslaw?

408
00:32:24,643 --> 00:32:26,378
Yes.

409
00:32:26,445 --> 00:32:28,580
That's all
the information
I need.

410
00:32:28,647 --> 00:32:32,084
Relax. We'll have
you taken care of in
less than an hour.

411
00:32:32,151 --> 00:32:33,685
Oh, bless you!

412
00:32:33,752 --> 00:32:35,487
No need to worry, kids.

413
00:32:35,554 --> 00:32:38,690
The most sophisticated
emergency response team
in the world

414
00:32:38,757 --> 00:32:40,892
is working with us now.

415
00:32:40,959 --> 00:32:45,031
Interestingly enough,
their strategy
involves coleslaw.

416
00:32:46,932 --> 00:32:48,300
[phone rings]

417
00:32:48,367 --> 00:32:49,335
Hello?

418
00:32:51,237 --> 00:32:52,671
Hi, honey. It's me.

419
00:32:52,738 --> 00:32:54,173
Oh, Stanley!

420
00:32:55,007 --> 00:32:56,508
Darling,
are you all right?

421
00:32:56,575 --> 00:32:59,311
I'm fine. But you won't
believe the things
I've uncovered.

422
00:32:59,378 --> 00:33:01,447
Stanley, listen
to me closely.

423
00:33:01,513 --> 00:33:05,084
You must beware
of the Drive B.

424
00:33:05,151 --> 00:33:07,553
What's
the Drive Bee?

425
00:33:07,619 --> 00:33:09,455
We... don't know.

426
00:33:09,521 --> 00:33:11,890
But any error
you make with it
could be fatal!

427
00:33:11,957 --> 00:33:15,461
Just as I suspected.
My life may already
be in jeopardy.

428
00:33:29,741 --> 00:33:31,077
What are you saying?

429
00:33:31,143 --> 00:33:33,245
There must be some kind
of interference.

430
00:33:33,312 --> 00:33:35,647
Hold on.
I'll turn down
the radio.

431
00:33:40,352 --> 00:33:41,353
Oops.

432
00:33:45,124 --> 00:33:46,258
[screams]

433
00:33:47,226 --> 00:33:48,760
Whoo! Hot!

434
00:33:52,398 --> 00:33:53,699
Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot!

435
00:33:53,765 --> 00:33:54,700
Uh-oh!

436
00:33:59,805 --> 00:34:00,739
Oh, hot!

437
00:34:00,806 --> 00:34:01,773
Ooh!

438
00:34:04,943 --> 00:34:08,447
Is there something
about Dad that
you're not telling us,

439
00:34:08,514 --> 00:34:09,815
something
about his past...

440
00:34:09,881 --> 00:34:12,651
that would help explain
what's going on?

441
00:34:16,088 --> 00:34:18,690
Children, I suppose
you're old enough

442
00:34:18,757 --> 00:34:20,692
to know the truth.

443
00:34:20,759 --> 00:34:22,694
And the truth is...

444
00:34:22,761 --> 00:34:24,363
your father...

445
00:34:24,430 --> 00:34:27,099
once worked inside
the system.

446
00:34:27,166 --> 00:34:28,066
You mean...

447
00:34:28,134 --> 00:34:29,735
that's right, Petunia.

448
00:34:29,801 --> 00:34:32,104
Stanley Stupid
was a courier

449
00:34:32,171 --> 00:34:34,206
for the U.S. Government.

450
00:34:35,341 --> 00:34:38,310
At first it seemed like
the perfect job.

451
00:34:39,978 --> 00:34:43,715
Every day brought new
and fascinating challenges.

452
00:34:43,782 --> 00:34:44,816
Oh, great!

453
00:34:48,086 --> 00:34:49,521
There you go.

454
00:34:54,793 --> 00:34:56,428
537.

455
00:35:00,732 --> 00:35:02,334
537.

456
00:35:36,768 --> 00:35:39,671
[grinding]

457
00:35:46,245 --> 00:35:48,780
[Joan] Then, one day...

458
00:35:48,847 --> 00:35:51,183
your father
discovered something.

459
00:35:52,184 --> 00:35:53,452
Thank you.

460
00:36:09,801 --> 00:36:11,603
That's odd.

461
00:36:14,005 --> 00:36:15,541
Come in.

462
00:36:23,615 --> 00:36:25,417
What is it now,
Stanley?

463
00:36:25,484 --> 00:36:26,885
Something
very strange, sir.

464
00:36:26,952 --> 00:36:29,888
It seems like
an incredible
amount of letters

465
00:36:29,955 --> 00:36:32,791
are being delivered
to somebody
named "Sender."

466
00:36:32,858 --> 00:36:33,959
Who is this "Sender"?

467
00:36:34,025 --> 00:36:37,496
And what is he
doing with other
people's mail?

468
00:36:37,563 --> 00:36:40,098
I believe that this
calls for

469
00:36:40,165 --> 00:36:42,501
a full-scale
investigation.

470
00:36:44,102 --> 00:36:47,105
The next day,
he was fired.

471
00:36:47,172 --> 00:36:49,875
They never told him why.

472
00:36:50,976 --> 00:36:52,311
But of course!

473
00:36:52,378 --> 00:36:53,645
He knew too much!

474
00:36:53,712 --> 00:36:55,847
And my instinct
tells me...

475
00:36:55,914 --> 00:36:59,718
we haven't seen
the last of
Mr. Sender.

476
00:37:00,786 --> 00:37:04,856
[men chanting]

477
00:37:06,425 --> 00:37:08,494
[phone rings]

478
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,329
Is the target
neutralized?

479
00:37:10,396 --> 00:37:12,331
I'm afraid not, sir.

480
00:37:12,398 --> 00:37:15,100
It seems the enemy
repelled our assault team

481
00:37:15,166 --> 00:37:16,902
with extreme
defensive aggression

482
00:37:16,968 --> 00:37:20,339
in a... blowing-up-
their-car manner, sir.

483
00:37:20,406 --> 00:37:22,941
So... he has
some combat skills

484
00:37:23,008 --> 00:37:24,743
to back up
his bravado.

485
00:37:24,810 --> 00:37:27,145
Who do we have
from Special Ops?

486
00:37:27,212 --> 00:37:29,481
McClellan trained
with the S.O.F., sir.

487
00:37:29,548 --> 00:37:30,949
Give him the assignment.

488
00:37:31,016 --> 00:37:34,853
Let's see how our friend
handles a veteran
assassin.

489
00:38:01,980 --> 00:38:03,248
Ready?

490
00:38:03,315 --> 00:38:05,551
Ready.

491
00:38:05,617 --> 00:38:08,487
It's high time
I got myself
another tattoo.

492
00:38:09,821 --> 00:38:11,823
Just make sure
you do it clean.

493
00:38:11,890 --> 00:38:14,426
We can't afford
to leave a trail
of clues.

494
00:38:14,493 --> 00:38:16,995
He'll never know
what hit him.

495
00:38:17,062 --> 00:38:19,831
Did you know
you had a hole
in your gas tank?

496
00:38:19,898 --> 00:38:22,834
Actually, that's how
you get the gas in it.

497
00:38:22,901 --> 00:38:26,405
Listen, top her off.
I'm gonna go freshen up.

498
00:39:13,585 --> 00:39:16,722
Thank you for
the excellent
service, old timer.

499
00:39:16,788 --> 00:39:18,123
Yep.

500
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,803
[screaming]

501
00:39:35,607 --> 00:39:37,743
[chickens clucking]

502
00:39:47,018 --> 00:39:48,386
[phone rings]

503
00:39:48,454 --> 00:39:49,354
Well?

504
00:39:49,421 --> 00:39:51,056
I'm afraid
it's bad news.

505
00:39:51,122 --> 00:39:53,459
Don't tell me
he took out
McClellan, too!

506
00:39:53,525 --> 00:39:54,926
It's uncanny, sir.

507
00:39:54,993 --> 00:39:57,529
I've watched him
dispatch assailants
effortlessly

508
00:39:57,596 --> 00:39:59,565
with techniques that...

509
00:39:59,631 --> 00:40:01,366
that defy description.

510
00:40:01,433 --> 00:40:03,569
Who's our
explosives expert?

511
00:40:03,635 --> 00:40:05,303
That would be
Martinez, sir.

512
00:40:05,370 --> 00:40:07,973
Give him the assignment
and everything he needs
to pull it off.

513
00:40:08,039 --> 00:40:11,843
I want it done surgical
and I want it done now!

514
00:40:11,910 --> 00:40:14,980
For God's sake,
we're military men.

515
00:40:15,046 --> 00:40:18,484
Killing people
is supposed to be our job.

516
00:40:52,951 --> 00:40:55,053
[bee buzzing]

517
00:40:59,090 --> 00:41:00,626
Go on!

518
00:41:00,692 --> 00:41:02,961
Please, leave me alone.

519
00:41:13,471 --> 00:41:15,040
What are you
trying to do, you darn bee?

520
00:41:15,106 --> 00:41:17,809
Can'tcha see
I'm trying to drive?

521
00:41:17,876 --> 00:41:19,745
Oh, my god!
The Drive Bee!

522
00:41:28,654 --> 00:41:31,590
Fight, Stanley!
Fight for your life!

523
00:41:39,230 --> 00:41:41,199
The tables have turned.

524
00:41:42,534 --> 00:41:45,604
The hunter
becomes the hunted.

525
00:41:53,478 --> 00:41:54,946
Mission
accomplished.

526
00:41:55,013 --> 00:41:57,549
No one could have
survived that blast.

527
00:42:01,820 --> 00:42:04,690
Now, that's a well-made shoe.

528
00:42:12,363 --> 00:42:15,601
Here's your fare
and a little extra
for yourself.

529
00:42:15,667 --> 00:42:17,803
Thank you, sir.
What's the occasion?

530
00:42:17,869 --> 00:42:20,105
It's just good
to be home.

531
00:42:28,113 --> 00:42:29,080
Home.

532
00:42:29,147 --> 00:42:32,183
You never know
how much it means to you

533
00:42:32,250 --> 00:42:34,052
till you go away.

534
00:42:37,055 --> 00:42:39,557
What are you doing
to my grass?

535
00:42:39,625 --> 00:42:41,192
Buster?

536
00:42:41,259 --> 00:42:42,661
Is that you?

537
00:42:43,929 --> 00:42:45,563
Have I been away
so long?

538
00:42:45,631 --> 00:42:47,298
You live next door,
Stanley.

539
00:42:47,365 --> 00:42:49,067
Please, call me "Dad."

540
00:42:49,134 --> 00:42:50,769
Dad!

541
00:42:53,071 --> 00:42:56,174
This day keeps getting
stranger and stranger.

542
00:42:56,241 --> 00:42:59,410
We find ourselves today
at the center of a puzzle.

543
00:42:59,477 --> 00:43:02,380
At first,
all is confusing.

544
00:43:02,447 --> 00:43:05,984
But as the pieces
come together, patterns emerge,

545
00:43:06,051 --> 00:43:07,986
and before long
we can see

546
00:43:08,053 --> 00:43:10,288
the sinister face
of conspiracy.

547
00:43:12,123 --> 00:43:15,794
And it all begins
with a man named...

548
00:43:26,171 --> 00:43:27,639
Mr. Sender.

549
00:43:30,475 --> 00:43:32,644
[organ plays]

550
00:43:32,711 --> 00:43:35,814
[ominous chorus sings]

551
00:43:46,291 --> 00:43:47,358
Letters...

552
00:43:47,425 --> 00:43:49,861
easier to open than
pistachios.

553
00:43:51,229 --> 00:43:52,630
What's inside...

554
00:43:52,698 --> 00:43:54,933
is more delicious.

555
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:59,104
"If you still love me,
Sally,

556
00:43:59,170 --> 00:44:02,507
tie a ribbon
'round the old oak tree."

557
00:44:02,573 --> 00:44:04,309
I'm afraid the only thing

558
00:44:04,375 --> 00:44:07,578
that's going to be
hanging from that tree is you...

559
00:44:07,645 --> 00:44:09,114
"Bob."

560
00:44:16,254 --> 00:44:17,823
Poor Jenny Miller.

561
00:44:20,058 --> 00:44:22,127
Nobody coming
to her wedding.

562
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:30,936
This postal ploy
of yours

563
00:44:31,002 --> 00:44:33,604
is the most evil
caper of our age,
Mr. Sender.

564
00:44:33,671 --> 00:44:35,540
How will you ever
top yourself?

565
00:44:35,606 --> 00:44:37,342
With a crime
so unthinkable

566
00:44:37,408 --> 00:44:40,611
that no one has ever
dared to attempt it:

567
00:44:40,678 --> 00:44:43,214
to rob an entire nation

568
00:44:43,281 --> 00:44:45,116
of its garbage.

569
00:44:45,183 --> 00:44:49,187
The one resource
no one ever thinks
to protect.

570
00:44:49,254 --> 00:44:50,421
Yet, without it,

571
00:44:50,488 --> 00:44:53,024
every hefty bag,
every trash compactor,

572
00:44:53,091 --> 00:44:55,226
every rubbish bin
in America

573
00:44:55,293 --> 00:44:56,627
will be useless.

574
00:44:56,694 --> 00:44:58,629
Desperate men
will roam the streets

575
00:44:58,696 --> 00:45:00,398
with empty waste baskets.

576
00:45:00,465 --> 00:45:03,401
Panic and chaos
will rule the land.

577
00:45:03,468 --> 00:45:07,405
The precious balance
of civilization
will be destroyed,

578
00:45:07,472 --> 00:45:13,211
and then the world
will come begging
for mercy...

579
00:45:13,278 --> 00:45:14,946
to me.

580
00:45:17,682 --> 00:45:20,018
Your job
is to kidnap anyone

581
00:45:20,085 --> 00:45:23,121
who discovers
my diabolical plan...

582
00:45:24,990 --> 00:45:26,858
including children.

583
00:45:32,097 --> 00:45:35,200
This fiendishness
must be stopped!

584
00:45:44,642 --> 00:45:46,778
It's not our battle
to fight.

585
00:45:46,845 --> 00:45:51,049
We've got enough trouble
getting soy sauce into
these tiny packets.

586
00:45:51,116 --> 00:45:53,118
Maybe we can't stop
sender,

587
00:45:53,184 --> 00:45:55,053
but I know someone
who can,

588
00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:58,523
a bright fellow
I worked with in
the postal service.

589
00:45:58,589 --> 00:46:00,358
Are the guards
posted out front?

590
00:46:00,425 --> 00:46:01,927
Only the best.

591
00:46:06,431 --> 00:46:08,466
[dialing phone]

592
00:46:08,533 --> 00:46:09,700
Well?

593
00:46:09,767 --> 00:46:12,070
No one suspects
a thing, Mr. Sender...

594
00:46:12,137 --> 00:46:14,873
unless that bush
has ears.

595
00:46:22,413 --> 00:46:26,351
The joke's on you,
my friends.

596
00:46:26,417 --> 00:46:27,752
Bad news, sir.

597
00:46:27,819 --> 00:46:30,021
Stanley Stupid
has discovered
our secret.

598
00:46:30,088 --> 00:46:34,625
At last, a foe worthy
of matching wits with!

599
00:46:34,692 --> 00:46:37,996
Release the Drive Bee!

600
00:47:04,055 --> 00:47:07,525
[sinister laughter]

601
00:47:12,063 --> 00:47:15,466
So you see,
it all begins with Mr...

602
00:47:18,536 --> 00:47:19,938
Sender.

603
00:47:20,005 --> 00:47:21,606
But the police
are against us,

604
00:47:21,672 --> 00:47:24,042
and obviously we can't
go to the press.

605
00:47:24,109 --> 00:47:26,811
What are we
going to do,
Stanley?

606
00:47:26,878 --> 00:47:29,414
We've got to take on
Sender ourselves!

607
00:47:30,848 --> 00:47:33,418
Oh, it won't be easy
finding him,

608
00:47:33,484 --> 00:47:36,021
scouring the countryside
for microscopic clues,

609
00:47:36,087 --> 00:47:39,024
following trails
that are long-since cold,

610
00:47:39,090 --> 00:47:41,026
sensing him always nearby,

611
00:47:41,092 --> 00:47:44,229
yet somehow maddeningly
beyond our grasp.

612
00:47:44,295 --> 00:47:45,263
Hey!

613
00:47:45,330 --> 00:47:48,033
There's a Charles Sender
listed right here

614
00:47:48,099 --> 00:47:49,500
in this phone book.

615
00:47:49,567 --> 00:47:51,436
The manhunt begins.

616
00:48:04,482 --> 00:48:06,051
The car won't start!

617
00:48:06,117 --> 00:48:07,986
Maybe the battery's
dead.

618
00:48:08,053 --> 00:48:10,288
It was
perfectly healthy
this afternoon.

619
00:48:10,355 --> 00:48:12,958
Maybe it's got
some life left in it.

620
00:48:13,024 --> 00:48:15,260
I'd better give it
mouth-to-mouth.

621
00:48:17,963 --> 00:48:19,965
[barking]

622
00:48:23,434 --> 00:48:26,671
Not now, kitty.
I've got a battery
to revive.

623
00:48:35,380 --> 00:48:37,382
Wait a minute.
What am I doing?

624
00:48:37,448 --> 00:48:40,451
I've cooked up some insane
conspiracy theory

625
00:48:40,518 --> 00:48:43,388
and put myself in the middle
of an illegal weapons deal

626
00:48:43,454 --> 00:48:45,390
with some of the world's
most dangerous men.

627
00:48:45,456 --> 00:48:48,459
I've risked my life
and the lives of my family

628
00:48:48,526 --> 00:48:52,430
in a scheme that makes
absolutely no sense at all.

629
00:48:52,497 --> 00:48:54,465
Insight fading.

630
00:48:54,532 --> 00:48:57,635
I must remember
not to go forward with this.

631
00:48:57,702 --> 00:49:01,306
What is it, Stanley?
What are you supposed
to remember?

632
00:49:01,372 --> 00:49:02,373
Um...

633
00:49:04,609 --> 00:49:06,311
I don't know.

634
00:49:06,377 --> 00:49:09,514
[barking]

635
00:49:09,580 --> 00:49:10,581
[whistles]

636
00:49:13,918 --> 00:49:16,421
Let's go, everybody.
We got a job to do!

637
00:49:16,487 --> 00:49:18,023
[whimpers]

638
00:49:32,503 --> 00:49:35,506
Hey, what about
the delivery?!

639
00:49:35,573 --> 00:49:40,511
You can't just order food
and run off like that!

640
00:49:40,578 --> 00:49:44,615
You have insulted the dignity
of Floyd's Delicatessen.

641
00:49:55,293 --> 00:49:57,495
You're sure
this is the place?

642
00:49:57,562 --> 00:49:58,329
Oh, yes.

643
00:49:58,396 --> 00:50:00,331
When I called Sender's
home,

644
00:50:00,398 --> 00:50:03,468
his wife said
that he works here.

645
00:50:03,534 --> 00:50:06,171
A likely story.

646
00:50:07,372 --> 00:50:08,506
Ha!

647
00:50:16,514 --> 00:50:19,484
OK, Joan.
You and Buster search
that end of the building.

648
00:50:19,550 --> 00:50:22,087
Petunia and I
will take this end.

649
00:50:22,153 --> 00:50:24,722
And remember, everybody,
use your heads.

650
00:50:47,778 --> 00:50:49,080
[thud]
Oh!

651
00:50:57,788 --> 00:50:59,224
[crash]

652
00:51:25,583 --> 00:51:28,119
[whispers]
I found his headquarters!

653
00:51:29,720 --> 00:51:33,090
And I've stumbled upon
his fiendish laboratory!

654
00:51:40,598 --> 00:51:42,233
Careful, Petunia.

655
00:51:42,300 --> 00:51:44,769
One false move,
and we could end up dead.

656
00:51:49,140 --> 00:51:50,074
Dad?

657
00:51:50,141 --> 00:51:51,876
Petunia!

658
00:51:51,942 --> 00:51:53,944
Everything's
gone dark.

659
00:51:54,011 --> 00:51:55,946
I can't see a thing!

660
00:51:56,013 --> 00:51:59,350
Oh, my God,
it's happened!

661
00:52:00,084 --> 00:52:01,886
We're dead.

662
00:52:03,053 --> 00:52:04,789
I knew it!

663
00:52:16,701 --> 00:52:18,436
So this is heaven.

664
00:52:18,503 --> 00:52:20,771
It's quite lovely,
really.

665
00:52:23,107 --> 00:52:24,442
Funny, isn't it?

666
00:52:24,509 --> 00:52:26,511
One minute
you're tracking down

667
00:52:26,577 --> 00:52:28,446
the head of a global
conspiracy,

668
00:52:28,513 --> 00:52:31,782
and the next minute,
poof-- it's all over.

669
00:52:32,983 --> 00:52:34,552
Sure puts things
in perspective.

670
00:52:34,619 --> 00:52:37,722
You know who I miss
the most?

671
00:52:37,788 --> 00:52:39,857
Mom and Buster.

672
00:52:39,924 --> 00:52:41,259
Don't worry, honey.

673
00:52:41,326 --> 00:52:43,528
They'll be joining us
soon enough...

674
00:52:43,594 --> 00:52:45,763
the way your mom
drives.

675
00:52:47,097 --> 00:52:48,299
[man] Hello.

676
00:52:48,366 --> 00:52:49,700
Somebody in here?

677
00:52:49,767 --> 00:52:51,636
Dad, someone's coming!

678
00:52:53,204 --> 00:52:54,839
You think?

679
00:52:56,807 --> 00:52:59,009
Yes, Petunia.

680
00:52:59,076 --> 00:53:01,279
It's time to meet
our creator.

681
00:53:07,151 --> 00:53:08,753
Hail to thee,
oh, Lord.

682
00:53:08,819 --> 00:53:12,457
Actually,
it's pronounced Lloyd.

683
00:53:14,392 --> 00:53:17,595
All these years
we've been saying it wrong.

684
00:53:25,169 --> 00:53:26,504
So...

685
00:53:26,571 --> 00:53:30,375
this is the face of evil.

686
00:53:44,989 --> 00:53:49,727
And this is the diary
of his twisted schemes!

687
00:53:58,202 --> 00:54:00,705
Dates, numbers?

688
00:54:00,771 --> 00:54:02,307
Years?

689
00:54:04,041 --> 00:54:06,344
What in the world?

690
00:54:07,745 --> 00:54:08,679
Buster, come on.

691
00:54:08,746 --> 00:54:10,881
I found out where
sender's going next.

692
00:54:10,948 --> 00:54:12,216
Just a minute, Mom.

693
00:54:12,283 --> 00:54:14,452
I've discovered
a mysterious room here.

694
00:54:14,519 --> 00:54:17,888
There's a strange-looking
clock over the top of it.

695
00:54:20,591 --> 00:54:23,461
And a control panel
with a bunch of numbers.

696
00:54:23,528 --> 00:54:26,731
One would almost think
it's some kinda...

697
00:54:26,797 --> 00:54:28,399
time machine!

698
00:54:33,671 --> 00:54:34,605
Mom!

699
00:54:34,672 --> 00:54:35,840
Help!

700
00:54:35,906 --> 00:54:37,508
Buster, no!

701
00:54:42,112 --> 00:54:43,348
[dull thud]

702
00:54:46,617 --> 00:54:48,686
What buttons
did you press?

703
00:54:48,753 --> 00:54:50,154
I don't know.

704
00:54:50,220 --> 00:54:52,557
Just a bunch of
random numbers,

705
00:54:52,623 --> 00:54:54,759
and the letters
"B-C."

706
00:54:54,825 --> 00:54:56,461
Oh, my God!

707
00:55:22,687 --> 00:55:26,323
We've traveled back
to the age of the dinosaurs!

708
00:55:32,897 --> 00:55:36,133
It's just so amazing
to meet you at last!

709
00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:37,702
Well, thank you.

710
00:55:37,768 --> 00:55:41,038
It's nice to meet
someone who appreciates
the work I do.

711
00:55:41,105 --> 00:55:42,473
Appreciates it?

712
00:55:42,540 --> 00:55:43,641
Why, you're the one
that takes care

713
00:55:43,708 --> 00:55:45,142
of the entire universe!

714
00:55:45,209 --> 00:55:47,712
But you'd be surprised
how little thanks
I get for it.

715
00:55:47,778 --> 00:55:51,716
Most people don't even
know I exist.

716
00:55:51,782 --> 00:55:54,485
This is the single
most fantastic journey

717
00:55:54,552 --> 00:55:57,522
in the history
of the world!

718
00:56:01,592 --> 00:56:03,260
Keep your voice down,
son.

719
00:56:03,327 --> 00:56:07,364
If one of these
things wakes up,
we're in real trouble.

720
00:56:07,432 --> 00:56:10,000
They look absolutely
starved!

721
00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:12,570
[gasp]

722
00:56:21,612 --> 00:56:22,947
Hey, look, Mom!

723
00:56:23,013 --> 00:56:25,583
The cave of some
prehistoric peoples!

724
00:56:32,623 --> 00:56:34,559
Their tools seem to be...

725
00:56:34,625 --> 00:56:36,627
fashioned of
a primitive Styrofoam.

726
00:56:36,694 --> 00:56:38,696
We've got to be careful,
Buster.

727
00:56:38,763 --> 00:56:41,699
The slightest disturbance
to this ancient world

728
00:56:41,766 --> 00:56:44,368
could affect the entire
course of history.

729
00:56:44,435 --> 00:56:46,203
Yes.

730
00:56:46,270 --> 00:56:49,907
The entire course
of history.

731
00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:57,515
What are you doing?

732
00:57:01,586 --> 00:57:02,887
Just think!

733
00:57:02,953 --> 00:57:05,923
My name is now
the first word
ever written.

734
00:57:05,990 --> 00:57:09,326
This rock will be
the most sacred
mystery on earth!

735
00:57:09,393 --> 00:57:11,596
Buster,
snap out of it!

736
00:57:11,662 --> 00:57:13,531
When mankind
learns to read,

737
00:57:13,598 --> 00:57:15,199
I'll be worshipped!

738
00:57:16,634 --> 00:57:20,337
Nations will rise
and fall in my name!

739
00:57:20,404 --> 00:57:21,939
Life on earth

740
00:57:22,006 --> 00:57:25,142
will be nothing
but a footnote
to Buster!

741
00:57:26,210 --> 00:57:29,146
We've gotta get
out of here!

742
00:57:29,213 --> 00:57:30,548
Not to be disrespectful,

743
00:57:30,615 --> 00:57:33,718
but I feel
that perhaps we've
come here too early.

744
00:57:33,784 --> 00:57:35,986
The truth is,
you two shouldn't
be here at all.

745
00:57:36,053 --> 00:57:38,489
You're sending us
back into the world?!

746
00:57:38,556 --> 00:57:40,891
I'm afraid so.
But don't
get me wrong.

747
00:57:40,958 --> 00:57:42,893
It's been
a pleasure
talking to you.

748
00:57:42,960 --> 00:57:45,029
But there's work
to be done.

749
00:57:45,095 --> 00:57:48,032
So our crusade against
the world's injustice
is important!

750
00:57:48,098 --> 00:57:50,300
Just head through
the door marked
exit.

751
00:57:50,367 --> 00:57:53,671
It'll take you back
to where your car
is parked.

752
00:57:53,738 --> 00:57:54,905
Did you hear that,
Petunia?

753
00:57:54,972 --> 00:57:56,774
We're getting
a second chance!

754
00:57:56,841 --> 00:57:59,977
Hurray!

755
00:58:00,044 --> 00:58:03,047
Do you have any
final words for us
before we go?

756
00:58:03,113 --> 00:58:06,050
Well, if you wanna
make my job easier,

757
00:58:06,116 --> 00:58:08,452
remember, throw your gum
in the trash

758
00:58:08,519 --> 00:58:10,054
when you're done
chewing it.

759
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:13,057
I spend a huge
amount of time
cleaning up gum.

760
00:58:13,123 --> 00:58:16,260
So long as we live,
we shall fight that wrong.

761
00:58:26,270 --> 00:58:27,471
Sorry, Mom.

762
00:58:27,538 --> 00:58:30,808
I sort of went mad
with power back there.

763
00:58:30,875 --> 00:58:33,978
Well, the most
important thing is
we made it.

764
00:58:34,044 --> 00:58:37,014
Mom! Buster!

765
00:58:37,081 --> 00:58:39,049
Joan! Buster!

766
00:58:41,652 --> 00:58:43,420
Dad! Petunia!

767
00:58:43,487 --> 00:58:45,923
Stanley! Petunia!

768
00:58:49,093 --> 00:58:51,428
You made it!

769
00:58:51,495 --> 00:58:52,830
Are you all right?

770
00:58:52,897 --> 00:58:54,565
How did it go
in there?

771
00:58:54,632 --> 00:58:56,433
Joan, we had
a remarkable 20 minutes.

772
00:58:56,500 --> 00:58:57,835
We died,
went to heaven,

773
00:58:57,902 --> 00:59:01,205
met God, and got
brought back to life.

774
00:59:01,271 --> 00:59:03,741
But still
no sign of Sender.

775
00:59:03,808 --> 00:59:05,843
What happened
to you guys?

776
00:59:05,910 --> 00:59:07,444
We traveled through time
to the age of dinosaurs,

777
00:59:07,511 --> 00:59:09,246
and Buster
established himself

778
00:59:09,313 --> 00:59:11,949
as the most important
and mysterious figure
in history.

779
00:59:12,016 --> 00:59:13,183
Buster?

780
00:59:13,250 --> 00:59:14,451
Sorry, Dad.

781
00:59:14,518 --> 00:59:16,987
And even more
importantly,

782
00:59:17,054 --> 00:59:18,989
we found this.

783
00:59:20,858 --> 00:59:24,962
Names, places,
dates, times...

784
00:59:25,029 --> 00:59:26,096
wait a minute.

785
00:59:26,163 --> 00:59:28,398
There's an entry
in here for today.

786
00:59:28,465 --> 00:59:30,267
"Channel Three news
at 1:00."

787
00:59:30,334 --> 00:59:32,803
We passed
the Channel Three news station

788
00:59:32,870 --> 00:59:33,838
on the way over here.

789
00:59:33,904 --> 00:59:35,505
It's almost
1:00 now.

790
00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:36,941
The trail
is still fresh!

791
00:59:37,007 --> 00:59:38,108
Let's go.

792
00:59:47,685 --> 00:59:50,621
[jazz music playing]

793
01:00:01,298 --> 01:00:02,266
[screeches]

794
01:00:04,134 --> 01:00:05,836
We're here.

795
01:00:13,510 --> 01:00:15,379
Somewhere
in this building

796
01:00:15,445 --> 01:00:16,747
is the man
we're looking for.

797
01:00:16,814 --> 01:00:19,884
Let's find him
before he finds us.

798
01:00:30,627 --> 01:00:32,096
Good news today
for culture buffs.

799
01:00:32,162 --> 01:00:33,831
The new exhibit
arrives today

800
01:00:33,898 --> 01:00:35,332
at the Museum
of Natural History.

801
01:00:35,399 --> 01:00:37,267
Here to tell us
about the highlights

802
01:00:37,334 --> 01:00:39,436
is Museum Director,
Charles Sender.

803
01:00:39,503 --> 01:00:41,038
Welcome.

804
01:00:41,105 --> 01:00:42,139
Thank you.

805
01:00:42,206 --> 01:00:44,441
If you love
pre-Colombian sculpture

806
01:00:44,508 --> 01:00:46,010
as much as I do,

807
01:00:46,076 --> 01:00:48,445
you are in for
a real surprise.

808
01:00:48,512 --> 01:00:50,047
In less
than an hour,

809
01:00:50,114 --> 01:00:54,251
I will be picking up
a stunning collection
of Olmec heads

810
01:00:54,318 --> 01:00:57,554
on loan from museums
all over the world.

811
01:00:57,621 --> 01:00:59,356
I understand
it's exhibits like this

812
01:00:59,423 --> 01:01:02,459
have given our museum
its most profitable year ever.

813
01:01:02,526 --> 01:01:04,995
You must be
a sought-after curator.

814
01:01:05,062 --> 01:01:09,666
Yes. Sometimes
I feel like
a hunted man.

815
01:01:12,970 --> 01:01:15,039
Try your best
to blend in, Petunia.

816
01:01:15,105 --> 01:01:17,374
Remember, we can't
afford to get caught.

817
01:01:17,441 --> 01:01:19,810
Excuse me,
I'm looking for
the Late At Night Show.

818
01:01:19,877 --> 01:01:22,747
Excuse me. I'm
looking for the set of
the Late At Night Show.

819
01:01:22,813 --> 01:01:24,181
I'm supposed to make
a delivery there.

820
01:01:24,248 --> 01:01:26,283
I'm supposed to make
a delivery there!

821
01:01:26,350 --> 01:01:28,152
Could you give this
to Doug the stage hand?

822
01:01:28,218 --> 01:01:31,421
He's a big fat guy.
You can't miss him.

823
01:01:31,488 --> 01:01:32,923
Here...

824
01:01:32,990 --> 01:01:36,693
this will get you backstage.
I really appreciate this.

825
01:01:40,330 --> 01:01:42,967
I'm sorry.
They're taping a t.v. show.

826
01:01:43,033 --> 01:01:46,170
No one gets in without
proper authorization.

827
01:01:46,236 --> 01:01:48,205
Oh! Ma'am.
This way, please.

828
01:01:52,609 --> 01:01:55,445
Keep your eyes
peeled for anything
unusual, son.

829
01:01:55,512 --> 01:01:57,481
Mr. Sender
can't be far away.

830
01:01:57,547 --> 01:02:00,650
Just watch for
the slightest sign
of strange behavior.

831
01:02:00,717 --> 01:02:02,319
Dad?

832
01:02:02,386 --> 01:02:05,589
They're putting make-up
on men in there.

833
01:02:05,655 --> 01:02:07,357
Bull's-eye.

834
01:02:13,463 --> 01:02:15,399
Are they ready?

835
01:02:15,465 --> 01:02:16,433
Ready when you are.

836
01:02:16,500 --> 01:02:18,735
Let's go, everyone.
We're on.

837
01:02:26,276 --> 01:02:28,012
OK. Let's go.

838
01:02:30,881 --> 01:02:33,750
[woman] Yeah, but Sly's
a lot taller now.

839
01:02:33,818 --> 01:02:36,153
People think it's easy
being a celebrity,

840
01:02:36,220 --> 01:02:39,223
but when they canceled
my series, Malibu Beach
Detective,

841
01:02:39,289 --> 01:02:41,225
I was just
absolutely devastated.

842
01:02:47,998 --> 01:02:49,233
Well, I'm sure everyone

843
01:02:49,299 --> 01:02:51,235
is very sympathetic
for you.

844
01:02:51,301 --> 01:02:54,238
You put so much work
into such a fine series

845
01:02:54,304 --> 01:02:56,240
to have it
taken off the air.

846
01:02:56,306 --> 01:02:58,843
As an artist,
I was truly crushed.

847
01:03:02,312 --> 01:03:04,348
It was the most awful,
heartbreaking,

848
01:03:04,414 --> 01:03:07,818
shocking thing
that's ever
happened to me!

849
01:03:16,260 --> 01:03:19,997
Mom, I can't get
this light switch to work.

850
01:03:20,064 --> 01:03:21,966
Just a moment, dear.

851
01:03:26,837 --> 01:03:29,439
OK. Now, let's take
a look.

852
01:03:37,848 --> 01:03:39,683
Well, maybe you'd
all be happier

853
01:03:39,749 --> 01:03:42,519
if there was no
prime time television.

854
01:03:46,857 --> 01:03:48,525
What's going on?

855
01:03:55,332 --> 01:03:58,035
You could spend every night
reading books together.

856
01:04:05,943 --> 01:04:08,012
[applauding, cheering]

857
01:04:10,747 --> 01:04:15,052
Well, my next guest
is a world-class French chef,

858
01:04:15,119 --> 01:04:18,055
so stay tuned everyone
and let's...

859
01:04:18,122 --> 01:04:19,856
give it to the fat guy!

860
01:04:22,592 --> 01:04:23,427
Fat?

861
01:04:23,493 --> 01:04:24,428
Moi, fat?

862
01:04:24,494 --> 01:04:27,064
[yelling in French]

863
01:04:29,466 --> 01:04:32,536
[yelling in French]

864
01:04:44,248 --> 01:04:46,383
OK. Let's settle,
everybody.

865
01:04:46,450 --> 01:04:48,385
We're on in 5...

866
01:04:48,452 --> 01:04:50,287
4... 3...

867
01:04:51,721 --> 01:04:54,458
Have you ever
thought you came from
an unusual family?

868
01:04:54,524 --> 01:04:56,860
Well, after you meet
my guests today

869
01:04:56,927 --> 01:05:00,430
you may want to adjust
your standards.

870
01:05:00,497 --> 01:05:01,932
I divorced my wife

871
01:05:01,999 --> 01:05:04,734
in order to date
her daughter.

872
01:05:04,801 --> 01:05:06,470
[moans]

873
01:05:08,338 --> 01:05:09,873
I married
a Siamese twin

874
01:05:09,940 --> 01:05:11,875
and had an affair
with her sister.

875
01:05:11,942 --> 01:05:13,343
[gasps]

876
01:05:15,279 --> 01:05:17,514
I've been engaged
to three of my cousins.

877
01:05:21,518 --> 01:05:23,387
I...

878
01:05:23,453 --> 01:05:26,790
well, to tell you
the truth...

879
01:05:26,856 --> 01:05:28,925
I'm...

880
01:05:28,993 --> 01:05:31,261
I'm my own grandpa.

881
01:05:31,328 --> 01:05:33,530
You're your own
grandpa?

882
01:05:33,597 --> 01:05:35,032
That's right.

883
01:05:35,099 --> 01:05:36,200
Well, for those of us

884
01:05:36,266 --> 01:05:38,202
who've never heard
of such a thing,

885
01:05:38,268 --> 01:05:39,369
maybe you could explain.

886
01:05:39,436 --> 01:05:41,005
Of course.
It's quite simple, really.

887
01:05:41,071 --> 01:05:42,372
[* Tom Arnold:
"I'm My Own Grandpaw"]

888
01:05:42,439 --> 01:05:44,408
* Many many years ago
when I was 23 *

889
01:05:44,474 --> 01:05:46,210
* I was married
to a widow *

890
01:05:46,276 --> 01:05:48,145
* who was purty
as could be *

891
01:05:48,212 --> 01:05:50,280
* This widow had
a grown-up daughter *

892
01:05:50,347 --> 01:05:52,082
* who had hair of red *

893
01:05:52,149 --> 01:05:54,018
* My father
fell in love with her *

894
01:05:54,084 --> 01:05:55,352
* and soon
the two were wed *

895
01:05:55,419 --> 01:05:57,587
* This made my dad
my son-in-law *

896
01:05:57,654 --> 01:05:59,156
* and changed
my very life *

897
01:05:59,223 --> 01:06:00,757
* for my daughter
was my mother *

898
01:06:00,824 --> 01:06:03,227
* 'cause she was
my father's wife *

899
01:06:03,293 --> 01:06:04,861
* To complicate
the matter *

900
01:06:04,928 --> 01:06:06,696
* even though
it brought me joy *

901
01:06:06,763 --> 01:06:10,434
* I soon became the father
of a bouncing baby boy *

902
01:06:10,500 --> 01:06:14,038
* My little baby then became
a brother-in-law to Dad *

903
01:06:14,104 --> 01:06:15,905
* And so became my uncle *

904
01:06:15,972 --> 01:06:17,874
* though it made me
very sad *

905
01:06:17,941 --> 01:06:19,409
* for if he was my uncle *

906
01:06:19,476 --> 01:06:21,311
* then that also
made him brother *

907
01:06:21,378 --> 01:06:23,247
* to the widow's
grown-up daughter *

908
01:06:23,313 --> 01:06:25,282
* who of course
was my stepmother.. *

909
01:06:25,349 --> 01:06:28,218
That was our banker
in Bern.

910
01:06:28,285 --> 01:06:30,254
Payments will be
transferred to our account

911
01:06:30,320 --> 01:06:31,855
when we deliver
the hardware

912
01:06:31,921 --> 01:06:33,657
in approximately
two hours.

913
01:06:33,723 --> 01:06:36,860
Nothing left
to do but relax,
Lieutenant.

914
01:06:36,926 --> 01:06:40,397
No power on earth
can stop us now.

915
01:06:40,464 --> 01:06:43,833
* I'm my own grandpa *

916
01:06:43,900 --> 01:06:46,870
* I'm my own grandpa *

917
01:06:46,936 --> 01:06:48,272
It's impossible.

918
01:06:48,338 --> 01:06:49,973
We killed that man.

919
01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:51,275
[turns television off]

920
01:06:51,341 --> 01:06:53,077
Well, for God's sake,
kill him again.

921
01:06:53,143 --> 01:06:55,011
Our future
is in his hands.

922
01:06:55,079 --> 01:06:56,946
* My father's wife
then had a son *

923
01:06:57,013 --> 01:06:58,882
* who kept them
on the run *

924
01:06:58,948 --> 01:07:00,450
* and he became
my grandchild *

925
01:07:00,517 --> 01:07:02,219
* 'cause he was
my daughter's son *

926
01:07:02,286 --> 01:07:04,254
* My wife is now
my mother's mother *

927
01:07:04,321 --> 01:07:06,223
* and it makes me blue *

928
01:07:06,290 --> 01:07:07,957
* because although
she is my wife *

929
01:07:08,024 --> 01:07:09,626
* she's my
grandmother, too *

930
01:07:09,693 --> 01:07:11,828
* If my wife
is my grandmother *

931
01:07:11,895 --> 01:07:13,430
* then I am
her grandchild *

932
01:07:13,497 --> 01:07:15,299
* and every time
I think of it *

933
01:07:15,365 --> 01:07:17,334
* it nearly
drives me wild *

934
01:07:17,401 --> 01:07:20,937
* This has got to be
the strangest thing
I ever saw *

935
01:07:21,004 --> 01:07:22,772
* As husband of
my grandmother *

936
01:07:22,839 --> 01:07:24,774
* I am my own grandpa *

937
01:07:24,841 --> 01:07:26,110
* I'm my own grandpa *

938
01:07:27,477 --> 01:07:28,545
Everybody!

939
01:07:28,612 --> 01:07:31,481
[together]
* I'm my own grandpa *

940
01:07:31,548 --> 01:07:33,383
* It sounds funny,
I know *

941
01:07:33,450 --> 01:07:35,319
* but it really is so *

942
01:07:35,385 --> 01:07:39,723
* Hey! I'm
my own grandpa **

943
01:07:39,789 --> 01:07:40,790
Stay tuned, everybody.

944
01:07:40,857 --> 01:07:43,059
We'll be back
after this break.

945
01:07:47,664 --> 01:07:50,234
Thanks again
for coming to the
station, Mr. Sender.

946
01:07:50,300 --> 01:07:52,536
It was a pleasure,
I assure you.

947
01:07:52,602 --> 01:07:54,070
Bye-bye.

948
01:07:55,639 --> 01:07:56,406
Sender!

949
01:07:57,941 --> 01:07:59,075
We meet at last.

950
01:07:59,143 --> 01:08:00,644
No time to chat,
I'm afraid.

951
01:08:00,710 --> 01:08:04,481
I'm taking over
the heads of a dozen
foreign countries.

952
01:08:08,952 --> 01:08:10,154
My God!

953
01:08:10,220 --> 01:08:11,888
His plans for
world domination

954
01:08:11,955 --> 01:08:13,157
are already
coming together.

955
01:08:13,223 --> 01:08:17,227
[ominous musical fanfare]

956
01:08:17,294 --> 01:08:19,263
You know what's
strange, Dad?

957
01:08:19,329 --> 01:08:21,998
I would have thought
a man as powerful
as sender

958
01:08:22,065 --> 01:08:23,800
would be surrounded
by bodyguards.

959
01:08:23,867 --> 01:08:26,336
You can't see them, Buster,
but they're here,

960
01:08:26,403 --> 01:08:28,338
ready to pounce
on anyone

961
01:08:28,405 --> 01:08:30,240
who so much as utters
the words,

962
01:08:30,307 --> 01:08:32,276
"I'll get you yet,
Sender." Whoa!

963
01:08:32,342 --> 01:08:34,244
Hey! Let go
of my dad!

964
01:08:42,986 --> 01:08:44,288
Buster!

965
01:08:45,922 --> 01:08:47,023
What happened?

966
01:08:47,090 --> 01:08:49,559
It's Sender's men!
They captured Dad!

967
01:08:51,261 --> 01:08:53,463
[high-pitched screams]

968
01:08:53,530 --> 01:08:55,465
so where are
we going, fellas?

969
01:09:09,045 --> 01:09:11,348
Fasten your seat belts.

970
01:09:29,366 --> 01:09:34,070
You're a clever man,
Mr. Stupid...

971
01:09:34,137 --> 01:09:36,973
if that really is your name.

972
01:09:37,040 --> 01:09:39,543
Too clever
for your own good.

973
01:09:40,877 --> 01:09:44,548
You play the innocent
most convincingly.

974
01:09:44,614 --> 01:09:46,716
You thought
you'd fool me

975
01:09:46,783 --> 01:09:48,285
into thinking
you were dead

976
01:09:48,352 --> 01:09:50,053
and then you'd
catch me red-handed

977
01:09:50,119 --> 01:09:51,888
when I went
to make the sale.

978
01:09:51,955 --> 01:09:54,791
A masterful
bit of strategy,

979
01:09:54,858 --> 01:09:58,928
and you came
dangerously close
to pulling it off.

980
01:09:58,995 --> 01:10:00,930
We'd better
get going, sir.

981
01:10:00,997 --> 01:10:03,900
We're due at
Warehouse 21 in
less than an hour.

982
01:10:03,967 --> 01:10:05,435
Warehouse 21?

983
01:10:05,502 --> 01:10:08,405
No use gathering
intelligence now,
my friend.

984
01:10:08,472 --> 01:10:12,342
Our little
chess game is over.

985
01:10:13,610 --> 01:10:15,779
I hope you won't find
the end game

986
01:10:15,845 --> 01:10:18,248
too unpleasant.

987
01:10:18,315 --> 01:10:20,917
I'm sorry, ma'am.
There's nothing I can do.

988
01:10:36,333 --> 01:10:37,601
It's no use.

989
01:10:37,667 --> 01:10:39,569
They won't let anyone on
to that Army base

990
01:10:39,636 --> 01:10:40,970
unless they're in
the Army.

991
01:10:41,037 --> 01:10:43,139
This is serious.
Dad's in danger.

992
01:10:43,206 --> 01:10:45,342
We've got to think
of something.

993
01:10:45,409 --> 01:10:47,944
What if we form
our own army?

994
01:10:48,011 --> 01:10:51,014
To do that, we'd have
to form our own country!

995
01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:52,749
We could call it
"Stupidia,"

996
01:10:52,816 --> 01:10:54,818
a sovereign nation
with its own laws

997
01:10:54,884 --> 01:10:56,620
its own customs,
its own government.

998
01:10:56,686 --> 01:10:58,822
Mom, as mother
of this household

999
01:10:58,888 --> 01:11:02,792
your leadership's
withstood the test
of time.

1000
01:11:02,859 --> 01:11:05,094
I'd like to nominate
you as president.

1001
01:11:05,161 --> 01:11:06,396
To the polls,
everyone.

1002
01:11:06,463 --> 01:11:08,332
Get this
over with, already.

1003
01:11:08,398 --> 01:11:11,000
This guy's already
taken out three of our best.

1004
01:11:11,067 --> 01:11:12,001
Relax.

1005
01:11:14,404 --> 01:11:16,640
His hands are tied.
He's unarmed.

1006
01:11:16,706 --> 01:11:20,477
We've got two guards
posted outside.

1007
01:11:20,544 --> 01:11:22,379
I've got a gun on him.

1008
01:11:22,446 --> 01:11:24,714
There's no way
he's leaving here alive.

1009
01:11:24,781 --> 01:11:26,883
Isn't that right,
Mr. Stupid?

1010
01:11:26,950 --> 01:11:28,051
[spits]

1011
01:11:29,853 --> 01:11:33,056
Remember, throw your gum
in the trash

1012
01:11:33,122 --> 01:11:34,591
when you're done
chewing it.

1013
01:11:34,658 --> 01:11:38,261
I spend a huge
amount of my time
cleaning up gum.

1014
01:11:38,328 --> 01:11:40,497
In the name
of the Lloyd!

1015
01:11:52,742 --> 01:11:53,943
[grunts]

1016
01:11:54,010 --> 01:11:55,379
Oh, gee.

1017
01:11:55,445 --> 01:11:57,614
All right.
Get your hands up.

1018
01:12:00,149 --> 01:12:01,084
[screams]

1019
01:12:03,487 --> 01:12:05,689
Thank you,
dear Lloyd!

1020
01:12:06,990 --> 01:12:08,892
The polls
are dead even,

1021
01:12:08,958 --> 01:12:10,360
give or take a vote.

1022
01:12:13,262 --> 01:12:16,433
If only we knew
who Dad was voting for.

1023
01:12:16,500 --> 01:12:18,602
Joan! Joan!

1024
01:12:18,668 --> 01:12:20,269
Congratulations, Mom.

1025
01:12:20,336 --> 01:12:22,138
Thank you, everyone.

1026
01:12:22,205 --> 01:12:24,107
And as your president,

1027
01:12:24,173 --> 01:12:26,309
I appoint
Stanley Stupid

1028
01:12:26,376 --> 01:12:27,677
head of the Army!

1029
01:12:29,646 --> 01:12:31,515
Your first duty is
to go to that army base

1030
01:12:31,581 --> 01:12:32,916
and rescue my husband.

1031
01:12:32,982 --> 01:12:34,451
And get our dad
while you're at it.

1032
01:12:34,518 --> 01:12:36,319
I'm afraid those two
will have to wait.

1033
01:12:36,386 --> 01:12:38,988
We've got to get
to Warehouse 21.

1034
01:12:42,058 --> 01:12:43,359
Joan, give me
the keys.

1035
01:12:49,933 --> 01:12:52,101
The car won't start.

1036
01:12:52,168 --> 01:12:54,471
Dad, you and Mom...

1037
01:12:54,538 --> 01:12:56,039
switch places.

1038
01:13:09,586 --> 01:13:12,589
Mom, hand the keys
to Dad.

1039
01:13:19,829 --> 01:13:21,631
[car starts]

1040
01:13:21,698 --> 01:13:22,899
Good work, everybody!

1041
01:13:44,454 --> 01:13:47,423
This must be the place.

1042
01:14:06,242 --> 01:14:08,945
Well, what have we here?

1043
01:14:21,457 --> 01:14:22,992
Shh.

1044
01:14:23,059 --> 01:14:24,728
Sorry.

1045
01:14:45,481 --> 01:14:48,818
[men talking]

1046
01:15:19,783 --> 01:15:21,317
Excuse me, everyone.

1047
01:15:21,384 --> 01:15:23,687
May I have
your attention, please?

1048
01:15:29,392 --> 01:15:30,960
Impossible.

1049
01:15:31,027 --> 01:15:32,796
He's amazing.

1050
01:15:32,862 --> 01:15:34,564
Before you unleash strife

1051
01:15:34,631 --> 01:15:36,432
and warfare upon
this planet,

1052
01:15:36,499 --> 01:15:38,768
please look
into your hearts.

1053
01:15:40,169 --> 01:15:41,170
No guns.

1054
01:15:41,237 --> 01:15:44,307
[Stanley] Inside,
you're still human beings.

1055
01:15:44,373 --> 01:15:48,211
You can change
your ways.

1056
01:15:48,277 --> 01:15:51,080
You all could come back
from the dark side.

1057
01:15:52,616 --> 01:15:56,786
You. Send a squad
toward the eastern flank
of the warehouse.

1058
01:15:56,853 --> 01:15:58,855
You. Organize a counter
to the left.

1059
01:15:58,922 --> 01:16:00,857
Your men will back
the first two squads

1060
01:16:00,924 --> 01:16:03,492
while my men
rove on point.

1061
01:16:03,559 --> 01:16:06,395
But he's only one man.

1062
01:16:06,462 --> 01:16:07,530
Trust me.

1063
01:16:07,597 --> 01:16:10,934
You don't want
to underestimate him.

1064
01:16:11,000 --> 01:16:12,969
So turn yourselves
in, everyone.

1065
01:16:13,036 --> 01:16:16,472
My family and I
do not wish
to fight you.

1066
01:16:16,539 --> 01:16:18,441
But if you
do not give up,

1067
01:16:18,507 --> 01:16:20,777
you will leave us
no choice.

1068
01:16:20,844 --> 01:16:21,845
Are they giving up?

1069
01:16:21,911 --> 01:16:24,013
No. As a matter of fact,

1070
01:16:24,080 --> 01:16:27,583
they seem to be
organizing some sort
of massive attack.

1071
01:16:27,651 --> 01:16:30,253
I guess they want
to do things the hard way.

1072
01:16:33,556 --> 01:16:35,692
They seem
pretty well armed, Dad.

1073
01:16:35,759 --> 01:16:37,526
Yes, Buster,
but so are we.

1074
01:16:37,593 --> 01:16:39,295
They may have
knives and guns

1075
01:16:39,362 --> 01:16:40,496
and missiles
and bombs,

1076
01:16:40,563 --> 01:16:42,398
but we're armed
with the fact

1077
01:16:42,465 --> 01:16:44,467
that what we're
doing is right.

1078
01:16:44,533 --> 01:16:46,369
Sometimes you have
to trust in that.

1079
01:16:53,542 --> 01:16:55,679
Let the final
showdown begin.

1080
01:17:03,486 --> 01:17:05,088
Don't!

1081
01:17:05,154 --> 01:17:07,356
[ricochet]

1082
01:17:19,435 --> 01:17:21,370
Get him!

1083
01:17:28,111 --> 01:17:29,045
Whoa!

1084
01:17:30,246 --> 01:17:32,081
Run! Move!

1085
01:17:36,119 --> 01:17:38,054
Left! Right!

1086
01:17:38,121 --> 01:17:39,055
Right!

1087
01:17:43,927 --> 01:17:46,262
- Left! Left!
- Right!

1088
01:17:50,066 --> 01:17:52,235
Left!
No, no--
the other left!

1089
01:17:58,775 --> 01:17:59,909
No, no!

1090
01:18:11,554 --> 01:18:13,757
Take your time, men.

1091
01:18:13,823 --> 01:18:15,424
He's unarmed.

1092
01:18:15,491 --> 01:18:17,761
Or am I?

1093
01:18:23,166 --> 01:18:24,100
Ah-ha!

1094
01:18:30,073 --> 01:18:31,107
Ah-ha!

1095
01:18:40,649 --> 01:18:42,051
[growling]

1096
01:18:42,118 --> 01:18:44,287
I'm stuck! I'm caught.
I'm trapped.

1097
01:18:44,353 --> 01:18:45,588
Somebody help me!

1098
01:18:45,654 --> 01:18:46,856
I'm "cornered."

1099
01:18:46,923 --> 01:18:48,858
Yes! That's the word
I'm looking for.

1100
01:18:48,925 --> 01:18:49,893
I'm cornered!

1101
01:18:49,959 --> 01:18:51,727
I'll save you, Dad.

1102
01:19:27,563 --> 01:19:29,265
Must...

1103
01:19:29,332 --> 01:19:30,900
concentrate.

1104
01:19:30,967 --> 01:19:34,503
Focus, power of mind...

1105
01:19:34,570 --> 01:19:36,072
over matter.

1106
01:19:40,810 --> 01:19:44,313
Channel every ounce
of will power.

1107
01:19:44,380 --> 01:19:46,315
It's working!

1108
01:19:46,382 --> 01:19:47,683
I've done it!

1109
01:19:47,750 --> 01:19:51,120
Behold the super human
strength of Buster!

1110
01:19:51,187 --> 01:19:52,521
Huh?

1111
01:19:54,824 --> 01:19:56,960
Grrrah.

1112
01:19:59,195 --> 01:20:00,129
Buster!

1113
01:20:11,908 --> 01:20:14,143
Whoa... whoa...

1114
01:20:23,586 --> 01:20:24,753
Buster...

1115
01:20:24,820 --> 01:20:26,923
Sorry, Dad.

1116
01:20:26,990 --> 01:20:27,924
[explosion]

1117
01:20:27,991 --> 01:20:29,392
What the hell
was that?

1118
01:20:29,458 --> 01:20:32,295
Sounds like it came
from the warehouse
district.

1119
01:20:32,361 --> 01:20:34,163
[siren wailing]

1120
01:20:47,243 --> 01:20:48,544
Phew.

1121
01:20:56,819 --> 01:20:59,555
Buster? Stanley?

1122
01:20:59,622 --> 01:21:01,290
Please be careful
out there.

1123
01:21:01,357 --> 01:21:05,194
There's lots of little
fires burning
all over the place.

1124
01:21:05,261 --> 01:21:06,862
[explosion]

1125
01:21:26,249 --> 01:21:30,219
This is the worse
fire extinguisher
I've ever seen.

1126
01:22:05,021 --> 01:22:07,423
How lovely.

1127
01:22:10,626 --> 01:22:11,860
[explosion]

1128
01:22:11,927 --> 01:22:13,062
- Aah! Aah!
- Aah!

1129
01:22:13,129 --> 01:22:14,397
Car 15, request back-up.

1130
01:22:14,463 --> 01:22:17,666
Send squad cars immediately
to Warehouse 21.

1131
01:22:17,733 --> 01:22:20,436
Car 15,
we are on our way.

1132
01:22:20,503 --> 01:22:21,937
Oh, great.

1133
01:22:22,005 --> 01:22:24,307
Fine! Just great.

1134
01:22:39,622 --> 01:22:42,125
[gunfire]

1135
01:22:50,233 --> 01:22:52,201
We've got to
get out of here.

1136
01:22:52,268 --> 01:22:54,970
Not to worry.
The police are
on my side...

1137
01:22:55,038 --> 01:22:57,173
as far as they know.

1138
01:23:00,043 --> 01:23:01,977
How do I look?

1139
01:23:02,045 --> 01:23:05,014
Quite convincing, sir,
but what about me?

1140
01:23:05,081 --> 01:23:07,983
You, my friend...

1141
01:23:08,051 --> 01:23:10,653
are on the wrong
side of the law.

1142
01:23:10,719 --> 01:23:11,687
Sir?

1143
01:23:14,057 --> 01:23:15,591
Get some cuffs
over here!

1144
01:23:15,658 --> 01:23:17,126
I got
the ring leader.

1145
01:23:24,067 --> 01:23:26,001
Shoot to kill, boys.

1146
01:23:26,069 --> 01:23:28,471
Those are evil men
in there.

1147
01:23:35,244 --> 01:23:37,080
You've got to let me
through, officer.

1148
01:23:37,146 --> 01:23:38,547
The cargo
I'm transporting

1149
01:23:38,614 --> 01:23:39,948
is extremely cultural.

1150
01:23:40,015 --> 01:23:41,350
I'm sorry, sir.

1151
01:23:41,417 --> 01:23:43,686
No one's getting
through here
at the moment.

1152
01:23:43,752 --> 01:23:47,022
I guess I'll find
another route home.

1153
01:23:47,090 --> 01:23:49,358
In the meantime,
could you pull
your vehicle

1154
01:23:49,425 --> 01:23:51,627
over with the rest
of the cars?

1155
01:23:51,694 --> 01:23:55,631
Oh, Stanley.
You were so
brave in there.

1156
01:23:57,433 --> 01:24:00,103
Look! The police
are on our side again.

1157
01:24:07,943 --> 01:24:09,812
Yes. Our work here
is done.

1158
01:24:09,878 --> 01:24:11,914
Before we go,
there's a certain
arch villain

1159
01:24:11,980 --> 01:24:13,549
I'd like to speak to.

1160
01:24:13,616 --> 01:24:16,352
I have a feeling
he learned an important
lesson today.

1161
01:24:19,988 --> 01:24:23,492
Well, my friend,
it seems you lost.

1162
01:24:23,559 --> 01:24:25,561
I certainly am.

1163
01:24:25,628 --> 01:24:29,198
Problem is, you took
the wrong road
right from the start.

1164
01:24:29,265 --> 01:24:31,400
Can you help get me
back on the right path?

1165
01:24:31,467 --> 01:24:34,270
Yes, I can.
But it won't be easy.

1166
01:24:34,337 --> 01:24:37,873
You've got to turn
yourself around.

1167
01:24:37,940 --> 01:24:39,842
You've got
to straighten out.

1168
01:24:39,908 --> 01:24:41,910
But as long
as you can remember

1169
01:24:41,977 --> 01:24:43,846
to head toward
the light,

1170
01:24:43,912 --> 01:24:46,014
you'll never go wrong.

1171
01:24:46,081 --> 01:24:48,551
Thanks. You've really
saved me.

1172
01:24:48,617 --> 01:24:51,387
Until we meet again.

1173
01:25:01,430 --> 01:25:03,466
It's been
quite a day.

1174
01:25:04,733 --> 01:25:08,271
I have to say
that I'm glad
it's finally over.

1175
01:25:10,306 --> 01:25:14,877
I'm afraid
it's not over yet.

1176
01:25:14,943 --> 01:25:17,246
You must think
you have some kind

1177
01:25:17,313 --> 01:25:19,348
of guardian angel,
Stanley.

1178
01:25:19,415 --> 01:25:22,351
You thought
you could take me on
and pay no price--

1179
01:25:22,418 --> 01:25:23,819
destroy my future...

1180
01:25:23,886 --> 01:25:28,257
and then slip
through my fingers
again and again.

1181
01:25:28,324 --> 01:25:32,461
Well, not this time,
bucko!

1182
01:25:32,528 --> 01:25:35,898
This time I'm gonna
take care of you myself.

1183
01:25:35,964 --> 01:25:40,936
Where's your guardian
angel now?

1184
01:25:41,003 --> 01:25:42,004
- [groans]
- [thud]

1185
01:25:42,070 --> 01:25:43,138
Betcha surprised
to see me!

1186
01:25:43,206 --> 01:25:44,407
We certainly are.

1187
01:25:44,473 --> 01:25:46,209
And very impressed,
I might add.

1188
01:25:46,275 --> 01:25:48,244
Let this be
a lesson to you.

1189
01:25:48,311 --> 01:25:49,545
Nobody gets away
from me.

1190
01:25:49,612 --> 01:25:52,114
I've been on
the job too long.

1191
01:25:52,181 --> 01:25:53,649
Here's your bill.

1192
01:25:59,021 --> 01:26:00,489
[thuds]

1193
01:26:00,556 --> 01:26:03,726
I would have thought
guardian angels
worked for free.

1194
01:26:03,792 --> 01:26:07,496
Oh, Joan. You're so
wonderfully naive.

1195
01:26:09,665 --> 01:26:11,934
I assume you work
for the Lloyd?

1196
01:26:12,000 --> 01:26:15,204
Me? No. My boss'
name is Floyd.

1197
01:26:15,271 --> 01:26:19,575
No, it's pronounced
Lloyd.

1198
01:26:27,049 --> 01:26:28,651
Hey, neighbor.

1199
01:26:28,717 --> 01:26:29,652
Hey, Stanley.

1200
01:26:29,718 --> 01:26:31,186
Didn't see you around
much this weekend.

1201
01:26:31,254 --> 01:26:32,321
Whatcha been doing?

1202
01:26:32,388 --> 01:26:33,756
This and that--

1203
01:26:33,822 --> 01:26:36,925
had breakfast,
read the paper,
saved the world.

1204
01:26:36,992 --> 01:26:38,093
Is that right?

1205
01:26:38,160 --> 01:26:39,662
Today I thought
we'd have a barbeque.

1206
01:26:39,728 --> 01:26:41,730
Stop by. There's plenty
for everyone.

1207
01:26:41,797 --> 01:26:44,333
Thanks, Stanley,
but I left the water

1208
01:26:44,400 --> 01:26:46,435
running in my bathtub.

1209
01:27:22,605 --> 01:27:25,541
[snoring]

1210
01:27:29,244 --> 01:27:31,380
[slurps]

1211
01:27:43,292 --> 01:27:44,727
[snarls]

1212
01:27:44,793 --> 01:27:47,663
[both speaking
alien language]

1213
01:27:47,730 --> 01:27:50,366
This is gonna be
great, Dad!

1214
01:27:50,433 --> 01:27:52,134
Say, how can I help?

1215
01:27:52,200 --> 01:27:53,702
You can flip
the burgers, son,

1216
01:27:53,769 --> 01:27:56,505
but I'd better handle
the lighter fluid.

1217
01:27:56,572 --> 01:27:58,307
See? "Keep out of reach
of children."

1218
01:27:58,374 --> 01:28:00,142
You've gotta
be careful.

1219
01:28:00,208 --> 01:28:01,944
[speaking alien language]

1220
01:28:04,279 --> 01:28:06,582
[barking]

1221
01:28:07,850 --> 01:28:09,284
What is it, boy?

1222
01:28:13,255 --> 01:28:14,757
What is it, kitty?

1223
01:28:14,823 --> 01:28:16,959
[whimpering]

1224
01:28:25,200 --> 01:28:26,602
[screaming]

1225
01:28:28,837 --> 01:28:30,573
[barking]

1226
01:28:32,074 --> 01:28:33,008
Are you hungry?

1227
01:28:33,075 --> 01:28:34,009
You want a biscuit?

1228
01:28:34,076 --> 01:28:35,010
[woof!]

1229
01:28:35,077 --> 01:28:36,211
[woof!]

1230
01:28:36,278 --> 01:28:38,614
[woofwoofwoof woof!!!]

1231
01:28:38,681 --> 01:28:43,118
That poor dog doesn't know
what he wants sometimes.

1232
01:28:43,185 --> 01:28:45,020
[alien screaming]

1233
01:28:52,227 --> 01:28:53,496
[sigh]

1234
01:29:42,077 --> 01:29:44,279
[* Tom Arnold:
"I'm My Own Grandpaw"]

1235
01:29:44,346 --> 01:29:46,415
* Many many years ago
when I was 23 *

1236
01:29:46,482 --> 01:29:48,283
* I was married
to a widow *

1237
01:29:48,350 --> 01:29:50,218
* who was purty
as could be *

1238
01:29:50,285 --> 01:29:52,421
* This widow had
a grown-up daughter *

1239
01:29:52,488 --> 01:29:53,856
* who had hair of red *

1240
01:29:53,922 --> 01:29:55,658
* My father
fell in love with her *

1241
01:29:55,724 --> 01:29:57,660
* and soon
the two were wed *

1242
01:29:57,726 --> 01:29:59,562
* This made my dad
my son-in-law *

1243
01:29:59,628 --> 01:30:01,530
* and changed
my very life *

1244
01:30:01,597 --> 01:30:03,231
* for my daughter
was my mother *

1245
01:30:03,298 --> 01:30:04,867
* 'cause she was
my father's wife *

1246
01:30:04,933 --> 01:30:06,835
* To complicate
the matter *

1247
01:30:06,902 --> 01:30:09,137
* even though
it brought me joy *

1248
01:30:09,204 --> 01:30:12,240
* I soon became the father
of a bouncing baby boy *

1249
01:30:12,307 --> 01:30:16,244
* My little baby then became
a brother-in-law to dad *

1250
01:30:16,311 --> 01:30:17,846
* and so became my uncle *

1251
01:30:17,913 --> 01:30:19,982
* though it made me
very sad *

1252
01:30:20,048 --> 01:30:22,785
* for if he was my uncle then
that also made him brother *

1253
01:30:22,851 --> 01:30:27,422
* to the widow's grown-up
daughter who of course
was my stepmother *

1254
01:30:27,490 --> 01:30:31,259
* I'm my own grandpa *

1255
01:30:31,326 --> 01:30:34,396
* I'm my own grandpa *

1256
01:30:34,463 --> 01:30:36,198
* it sounds funny I know *

1257
01:30:36,264 --> 01:30:38,333
* but it really is so *

1258
01:30:38,400 --> 01:30:41,904
* Ho! I'm my own grandpa *

1259
01:30:41,970 --> 01:30:43,806
* my father's wife
then had a son *

1260
01:30:43,872 --> 01:30:45,574
* who kept them
on the run *

1261
01:30:45,641 --> 01:30:47,242
* and he became
my grandchild *

1262
01:30:47,309 --> 01:30:49,377
* 'cause he was
my daughter's son *

1263
01:30:49,444 --> 01:30:51,213
* my wife is now
my mother's mother *

1264
01:30:51,279 --> 01:30:53,081
* and it makes me blue *

1265
01:30:53,148 --> 01:30:54,950
* because all though
she is my wife *

1266
01:30:55,017 --> 01:30:56,985
* she's my
grandmother, too *

1267
01:30:57,052 --> 01:30:58,887
* If my wife
is my grandmother *

1268
01:30:58,954 --> 01:31:00,856
* then I am
her grandchild *

1269
01:31:00,923 --> 01:31:02,758
* And every time
I think of it *

1270
01:31:02,825 --> 01:31:04,760
* It nearly
drives me wild *

1271
01:31:04,827 --> 01:31:07,896
[woman] * This has got
to be the strangest
thing I ever saw *

1272
01:31:07,963 --> 01:31:09,765
* As husband of
my grandmother *

1273
01:31:09,832 --> 01:31:11,834
* I am my own grandpa *

1274
01:31:11,900 --> 01:31:14,436
* I'm my own grandpa *

1275
01:31:14,503 --> 01:31:15,638
[Stanley] Everybody!

1276
01:31:15,704 --> 01:31:18,841
* I'm my own grandpa *

1277
01:31:18,907 --> 01:31:20,709
* it sounds funny,
I know *

1278
01:31:20,776 --> 01:31:22,611
* but it really is so *

1279
01:31:22,678 --> 01:31:26,782
* Hey! I'm
my own grandpa **