1 00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:12,577 Excuse me. 2 00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:13,679 Excuse me. 3 00:00:48,515 --> 00:00:50,281 - Listen to this seminar. 4 00:00:50,283 --> 00:00:53,251 "Out-of-this-world profits with martian-themed restaurants." 5 00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:55,620 This eat-ertainment conference is going to be great. 6 00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:57,623 - Stomach pumps sold separately. 7 00:00:57,625 --> 00:00:58,790 - Hey, look. 8 00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:00,492 The keynote speaker is Terry Barry Barlow. 9 00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:02,127 He's a franchising genius, 10 00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:04,897 made $40 million off the pizza forest chain. 11 00:01:04,899 --> 00:01:07,499 - All on the backs of minimum-wage chipmunks. 12 00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:10,335 - Jake, I don't have to attend any of these workshops, do I? 13 00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:11,703 - Of course not. 14 00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:13,705 That's the beauty of tax-deductible conferences. 15 00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:15,674 You just sit by the pool and look hot. 16 00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:17,842 - Where are those damn stomach pumps? 17 00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:19,678 - Good, because I haven't had a day off in-- 18 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,013 - wait. 19 00:01:21,015 --> 00:01:24,115 You're leaving me here alone with daria all weekend? 20 00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:25,117 - Relax. 21 00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:26,885 I'll use the popular thumbscrews. 22 00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:28,020 - I guess if I schedule 23 00:01:28,022 --> 00:01:29,888 morning, afternoon, and evening dates-- 24 00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:31,890 - no dating while we're out of town. 25 00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:33,225 - Mom! 26 00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:35,427 - The boys of lawndale will just have to suffer. 27 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,695 I'll tell you what. 28 00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:38,996 You can each invite one friend over for company. 29 00:01:38,998 --> 00:01:41,666 - But how am I supposed to choose just one friend? 30 00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:42,701 - Throw them in a lake 31 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:45,036 and see who Bobs to the surface first? 32 00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:49,040 - Quinn, are you busy Saturday? 33 00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:51,076 I know you like boys 'r' guys, so I bought two tickets. 34 00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:52,210 - I got three, 'cause I know 35 00:01:52,212 --> 00:01:53,712 how you hate other people's elbows. 36 00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:55,714 - Genius, then you need five seats: 37 00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:58,650 Empty, me, empty, Quinn, empty. 38 00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:01,153 - Uh, sorry, guys, but I'm busy. 39 00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:02,821 Thanks anyway. 40 00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:04,522 - What am I gonna do with these? 41 00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:05,691 I hate boys 'r' guys. 42 00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:07,358 - Boys 'r' guys suck. 43 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:10,428 - Gee, Quinn, your date Saturday must be really cute 44 00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:12,464 for you not to blow him off for a concert. 45 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:13,799 - Yeah. 46 00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,634 What about priorities? 47 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,602 - Actually, I don't even have a date. 48 00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:18,637 I'm staying home. 49 00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:20,705 - Oh, no. 50 00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:21,739 - Quinn morgendorffer, 51 00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:24,108 as president of the fashion club, 52 00:02:24,110 --> 00:02:27,712 I'm afraid I must relieve you of all vice presidential duties 53 00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:30,282 until you have regained your senses. 54 00:02:30,284 --> 00:02:31,483 Your lipstick, please. 55 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,051 - Um, sandi, 56 00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:35,153 so many guys asked me out this weekend 57 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,389 that I figured if I stay home this once, 58 00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:39,525 they'll all want to go out with me even more. 59 00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:41,293 - Crafty. 60 00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:43,194 - I know you guys have dates, 61 00:02:43,196 --> 00:02:44,862 but Stacey, if you're not doing anything, 62 00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:46,398 would you like to sleep over Saturday? 63 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,399 - Sure. 64 00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:49,334 - So what you're saying, Quinn, 65 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,735 is that you and Stacey 66 00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:53,505 are more unavailable than me and Tiffany. 67 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:56,708 - Um, don't be ridiculous, sandi. 68 00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:58,510 I want you all to come over. 69 00:02:58,512 --> 00:02:59,844 - Oh, we're gonna have so much fun. 70 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:00,879 - This is going to be fun. 71 00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:01,980 I haven't had a sleepover... 72 00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:03,148 - Hmm. 73 00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:05,117 I sense a worrisome teen conspiracy afoot. 74 00:03:05,119 --> 00:03:07,385 - No, Quinn's just obeying orders 75 00:03:07,387 --> 00:03:11,055 by inviting one person to sleep over this weekend three times. 76 00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:13,492 - And how will she be explaining the extra daughters 77 00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:14,560 to Jake and Helen? 78 00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:16,227 - They're going out of town. 79 00:03:16,229 --> 00:03:18,229 You mind if I come over Saturday night? 80 00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:20,732 Otherwise, I'm afraid I'll end up doing time for 81 00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:24,336 de-accessorizing a teenage girl with my bare hands. 82 00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:26,204 - Guess I'll just have to visit you in the joint. 83 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,507 Tom and I are going bowling with his friends Saturday. 84 00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:30,675 - Oh. 85 00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:32,010 - You could tag along. 86 00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:33,512 - No, thanks. 87 00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:36,414 I'll just stay in and curl up with a good dose of strychnine. 88 00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:37,482 - You know, daria, 89 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:39,150 no one is forcing you to stay home. 90 00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:40,786 It's a big wide world out there. 91 00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:41,953 - Yes. 92 00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,389 It's the width I find so disturbing. 93 00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:47,225 - Landing a big client like Terry Barry Barlow 94 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,393 is just the r.X. I need 95 00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:50,329 to get the old profile back on high. 96 00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:51,697 - That's nice, dear. 97 00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,332 But I thought it was settled. 98 00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:54,633 Isn't it enough they're paying 99 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,268 for the reconstructive surgery? 100 00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:57,602 - Hey, this conference 101 00:03:57,604 --> 00:04:00,071 is right near the museum of medical oddities. 102 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,474 Dad, would you mind swinging by the gift shop 103 00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:04,042 and getting me a skull crusher? 104 00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:05,376 - Sure thing, kiddo. 105 00:04:05,378 --> 00:04:06,711 Skull crusher? 106 00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:07,713 Ew. 107 00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:08,747 - Okay! 108 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,381 I'll be there. 109 00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:11,416 Damn! 110 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,450 Well, that's it. 111 00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:14,019 I can't go to the conference. 112 00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:16,054 The port-a-fry class action suit is back on. 113 00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:17,422 - But, Helen, I need you. 114 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,057 The tickets are nonrefundable. 115 00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:21,292 - I'm sorry, Jake. Really, I am. 116 00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:22,995 But the firm's counting on me. 117 00:04:22,997 --> 00:04:24,129 Tell you what, 118 00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:26,932 go get yourself a new set of golf clubs, on me, 119 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,034 and you can think of me when you're hitting the ball, 120 00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:30,302 really whack it. 121 00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:34,573 I'd better go review my file. 122 00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:36,741 - "The firm's counting on me." 123 00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:38,843 God forbid I should count on anyone. 124 00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:41,012 Little jakey has to learn to be self-sufficient. 125 00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:42,748 It's weak to depend on other people. 126 00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:44,549 "Hey, you don't mind spending the holidays 127 00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:46,017 "in the barracks, do you, son? 128 00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:48,019 The janitor will keep an eye on you." 129 00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:49,955 Merry Christmas, dad... 130 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,623 In hell! 131 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,628 - Sure, we can play my boys 'r' guys cds 132 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:59,264 and the backyard boys and boys from the street 133 00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:00,966 and boys in suits and gang of boys and-- 134 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:03,001 - fish got to swim, and birds got to fly, 135 00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:05,303 but not when you bake them both in a pie. 136 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,605 Sunday brunch in the loony bin, 137 00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:08,040 next on sick, sad world. 138 00:05:08,042 --> 00:05:11,543 - Why am I the one who's always deserted? 139 00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:13,545 The one there's never room for in the car? 140 00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:16,548 - Um, dad, I'd go with you, but-- 141 00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:17,615 - "I'd go with you, 142 00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:20,352 "but the dog needs his nails clipped. 143 00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:22,521 Happy wedding, son." 144 00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:25,790 - And then we can watch 145 00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:27,726 Before they were supermodels. 146 00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:29,594 - Before they were supermodels? 147 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:32,731 I will go with you, dad, 148 00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:36,168 if I can stop off at the museum and check out the sliced man. 149 00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:37,602 - You're on, kiddo. 150 00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:39,003 Sliced man? 151 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,106 Ew. 152 00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:43,274 - You know, honey, 153 00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:44,976 you could really turn this change of plans 154 00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:46,411 into something very positive. 155 00:05:47,747 --> 00:05:49,647 You're not getting out of the golf clubs, Helen. 156 00:05:49,649 --> 00:05:51,416 - I mean this trip is a chance 157 00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:53,918 to really get to know your daughter as a person: 158 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,887 Her hopes, her dreams, her fears. 159 00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,489 - Aw, Helen, do I have to? 160 00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:58,490 - Jake. 161 00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:00,592 - But I'm scared. 162 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,529 I love business class. 163 00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:05,796 Complimentary cocktails, 164 00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:08,200 armrests you can really get a grip on. 165 00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:10,202 We're all gonna die. 166 00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:11,469 How about a refill here? 167 00:06:11,471 --> 00:06:12,970 - Dad, maybe you should go easy 168 00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:14,673 on the complimentary cocktails. 169 00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:15,807 - You're right. 170 00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:18,543 Need a distraction. Need a distraction. 171 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,912 "I did it. Why can't you?" 172 00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,447 Did you know Terry Barry Barlow 173 00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:24,682 saved the lives of his entire ballooning crew 174 00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:25,683 in an ice storm? 175 00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:26,717 He climbed up the ropes 176 00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:28,820 and opened the rip panel with his teeth. 177 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:31,022 - I just performed a similar act of bravery 178 00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:32,824 on this bag of peanuts. 179 00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:36,461 - Of course, we've got three-pronged outlets, sandi. 180 00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:38,997 What do you think this is, uncivilization? 181 00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:40,164 - They settled? 182 00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:41,332 Damn it, Eric. 183 00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,368 This is a very important weekend for Jake, 184 00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:44,936 and I was gonna-- 185 00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:46,070 oh, stop it, Eric. 186 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,939 You do not. You do not. 187 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,273 Oh, very well. 188 00:06:49,275 --> 00:06:51,243 You sleep better at night knowing I'm on the job. 189 00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:52,477 You know, I do try. 190 00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:55,780 Oh, sure, you have to take that call. 191 00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:56,981 Bye. - Bye. 192 00:06:58,118 --> 00:06:59,550 Well, honey, it looks like your mom 193 00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:01,453 will be around the house this weekend after all. 194 00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:03,354 - What? I mean great. 195 00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:05,156 By the way, did I mention sandi and Tiffany 196 00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:06,825 are coming over along with Stacey? 197 00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:08,559 Well, I better go inventory the q-tips. 198 00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:10,962 - Quinn! I said one guest. 199 00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:13,364 - I know, but daria and her friend aren't staying, 200 00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:15,233 so I had to get someone to fill in the slots. 201 00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:17,168 But if it's a problem, we can just go to sandi's, 202 00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:18,670 because I know her mother would be-- 203 00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:21,072 - fine. Your friends can stay here. 204 00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,875 Like I would give Linda the satisfaction. 205 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:30,114 - Maybe I need to stop blaming dad for my problems 206 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,751 and concentrate on being the best father I can, 207 00:07:32,753 --> 00:07:34,218 really reach out to my little girl, 208 00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:35,787 who always looks so lonely, 209 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,489 and tell her, "I'm here for you. 210 00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:39,490 I always will be." 211 00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:42,260 You know, the peanut really is a second-class nut. 212 00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:46,498 Now, cashews, those are what the big guys eat, the CEOs. 213 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,600 - I don't care if he's afraid of heights, 214 00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:50,602 but he's afraid to be afraid. 215 00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:52,436 That's what's so heartbreaking. 216 00:07:52,438 --> 00:07:53,638 He's my father. 217 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,640 Shouldn't I let down the barricades for once 218 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,609 and tell him I think he's a hero? 219 00:07:57,611 --> 00:08:00,678 How did a salted goldfish get in here? 220 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,214 Weird. 221 00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:05,984 - Hi, girls. Popcorn? 222 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,418 - Gee, Quinn. 223 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,855 You didn't tell us your mother was going to be here. 224 00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:11,055 - Last-minute change of plans. 225 00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,090 Thanks, mom, bye now. 226 00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:13,692 - Wait, Quinn. 227 00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:16,761 You didn't ask your mother if she might like a makeover. 228 00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:17,762 - Oh, yes! - Yeah. 229 00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:20,798 - Oh, sandi, what a great idea. 230 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,501 But you don't have time for a makeover, do you, mom? 231 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:24,536 - I suppose not. 232 00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:26,370 - I guess it's just as well. 233 00:08:26,372 --> 00:08:28,372 If I make you look ten years younger, 234 00:08:28,374 --> 00:08:30,876 you'll just have to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe. 235 00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:33,411 - Actually, a makeover sounds like fun. 236 00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:35,981 I'll go change into my pajamas. 237 00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:39,351 - Dear god, not the ones with the bumblebees. 238 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,129 - What do you mean you don't have it? 239 00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:52,497 Two adjacent rooms. 240 00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:53,632 Morgendorffer. 241 00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,299 "M" as in "mad as hell." 242 00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:57,068 - I'm sorry. I just don't see it. 243 00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:58,136 - Jake? 244 00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,571 Jake morgendorffer. 245 00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:00,672 - Jodie's parents? 246 00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,040 - How you doing, big guy? 247 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,041 - Oh, hi, Andrew. 248 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,042 - Good to see you. 249 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,076 - Hello, Michele. - Hi. 250 00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:06,343 - Hi. 251 00:09:06,345 --> 00:09:08,146 - How nice of you to bring your daughter, Jake. 252 00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:10,282 - Oh, Helen had some last-minute work come up. 253 00:09:10,284 --> 00:09:11,716 - Real go-getter, huh? 254 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:14,719 - And I suppose that makes me the woman behind the man? 255 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:17,289 Because I'm going back to work as soon as Evan's in day care. 256 00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:19,824 - No son of mine is going in a day care. 257 00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:21,293 Montessori, my butt. 258 00:09:21,295 --> 00:09:23,228 Why not just throw him to the wolves? 259 00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,462 Give a call, Jake. 260 00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:26,163 We'll grab a drink before the reception. 261 00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:28,400 We'll be in the tower, penthouse "c." 262 00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:29,401 - The tower? 263 00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:30,402 - Mr. Morgendorffer? 264 00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:31,803 I think I found you something. 265 00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:33,772 You're not sensitive to the sounds or smells 266 00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:36,841 of a kitchen exhaust fan, are you? 267 00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,445 - This is very nice of you, sandi. 268 00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:41,612 - My pleasure. 269 00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:43,882 I like to give back to the community, Helen. 270 00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:44,949 - Helen? 271 00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:46,517 Oh, when will it end? 272 00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:47,819 When will it end? 273 00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:50,021 - Are you sure about this foundation? 274 00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:53,625 - A matte finish is always best for concealing age spots. 275 00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:54,826 - You know, sandi, 276 00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:57,629 a freckle or a line here or there is no sin. 277 00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:59,798 A few lines in a woman's face show character. 278 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:00,832 - Hmm. 279 00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,167 - Except for the mean little ones 280 00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:04,169 some people get at the corners of their mouth 281 00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:05,737 from scowling too much. 282 00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:08,340 - Shall I pluck your eyebrows now? 283 00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:10,608 - In a truly civilized society, 284 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,610 wisdom would count more than appearance, 285 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,245 and a grown woman of accomplishment 286 00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:15,613 wouldn't be run out of town 287 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,516 for sprouting a few tiny crow's feet. 288 00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:21,185 Sandi, do you think your mother knows a good collagen man? 289 00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:22,620 - Shall I ask her? 290 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,822 - No! 291 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:25,223 - I don't know, Jake. 292 00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:26,457 Most of the companies here 293 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,693 look a little on the small-fry side for me, 294 00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:30,295 but there's no reason why you shouldn't 295 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:31,329 drum up some business. 296 00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:32,930 - Shall I go get the Tom-Toms? 297 00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:35,367 - Oh, look, Terry Barry Barlow. 298 00:10:35,369 --> 00:10:37,635 Haven't seen him since entrepreneurfest 3000. 299 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,437 Did you know he saved his balloon crew's lives 300 00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:40,505 in an ice storm? 301 00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:42,607 - And I'll bet he never talks about it. 302 00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:45,009 - Tore open the rip panel with his teeth. 303 00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:46,277 - He's so... 304 00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:47,445 - Munch-er-oic? 305 00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:49,447 - Andrew Landon, how the hell are you? 306 00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:51,850 - Doubling my net worth every six months. 307 00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:53,718 - If you done it, it ain't bragging. 308 00:10:54,787 --> 00:10:56,554 - Well, look who I'm talking to. 309 00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:58,289 Hey, have you met my wife, Michele? 310 00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:00,424 - Former senior v.P. At U.S. world. 311 00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:02,327 - Impressive. Who are you with now? 312 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,262 - Actually, I'm taking a brief hiatus. 313 00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:05,964 We recently had a son. 314 00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:08,199 - One of the unfortunate side effects of Viagra. 315 00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:09,433 Ha, just kidding. 316 00:11:09,435 --> 00:11:11,102 Got a pair of newborns myself. 317 00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:12,871 Pay their mother a nice settlement too. 318 00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:15,439 - Want to check out the potato salad swan? 319 00:11:15,441 --> 00:11:17,041 - Lead the way. 320 00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:19,410 - Oh, Barlow, this is Jake morgendorffer. 321 00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:21,045 His daughter goes to school with ours. 322 00:11:21,047 --> 00:11:22,380 - Ah, the little four-eyed girl. 323 00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:23,982 Nice to meet you, really, really great. 324 00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:25,416 - Jake morgendorffer consulting. 325 00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:26,450 By consulting, I mean-- 326 00:11:26,452 --> 00:11:27,886 - let me tell you something, Landon. 327 00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:29,320 My new chain is going to blow the lid 328 00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:31,822 off the simulated regional family-style sector. 329 00:11:31,824 --> 00:11:34,525 Alligator alley, New Orleans cuisine, 330 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,127 live alligator wrestling. 331 00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:37,629 - You've got guts, Barlow. 332 00:11:37,631 --> 00:11:40,431 The conventional wisdom says theme restaurants have peaked. 333 00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,232 - That's why they call it conventional wisdom. 334 00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:43,267 Shift the paradigm. 335 00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:44,268 - Push the envelope. 336 00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:45,636 - Think outside the box. 337 00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:47,305 - Are crocodiles alligators, 338 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:49,874 or is it the other way around? 339 00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,742 - What if this girl's boyfriend 340 00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:53,845 doesn't appreciate her as much as he used to? 341 00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:55,980 What if what was once a hot relationship 342 00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:57,682 is now sort of a drag? 343 00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:59,751 Let's say they've been going steady for-- 344 00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:01,853 oh, I don't know-- 20 years. 345 00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:04,389 - Well, obviously she should flirt with his friends. 346 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:08,860 - I say break up, ideally, on his birthday. 347 00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:11,329 - These cheddar cheese biscotti are awful. 348 00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:14,833 - So is the sight of grown men trying to outshake each other. 349 00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:16,267 - Excuse me, daria. 350 00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:18,536 I'm going to retrieve my husband before he breaks his hand 351 00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:21,039 and I have to dress two babies every morning. 352 00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:22,240 - All I'm saying is, 353 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,208 you can pile up your market research 354 00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:26,077 like cow pies in a pasture. 355 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,479 They're still no substitute for talking to the people. 356 00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:29,780 Take your daughter there, Jack. 357 00:12:29,782 --> 00:12:30,781 - Jake. 358 00:12:30,783 --> 00:12:31,916 - One conversation with her 359 00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,484 will tell me more than a 50-page report 360 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:36,020 from some fancy-shmancy consulting firm. 361 00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:38,356 Say, what did you say you do again? 362 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:41,025 - These cheddar cheese biscotti are great. 363 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:46,598 - Wearing braids with a headband is so wrong. 364 00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:48,700 - No one answer it. 365 00:12:48,702 --> 00:12:50,268 We're supposed to be unavailable. 366 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,803 Hi, I'm not here, 367 00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:53,337 but if you want to schedule a date, 368 00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:55,106 please leave the time and day desired 369 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,108 and your car's model, year, and color, 370 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,442 and maybe I'll get back to you. 371 00:12:58,444 --> 00:12:59,778 Bye. 372 00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:01,445 - Hey, Quinn, it's Scott. 373 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,047 We were hoping to see you at Ricky's, 374 00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:04,048 but you're not here. 375 00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:05,049 Hope everything's okay. 376 00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:06,050 - Did you reach Quinn? 377 00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:07,351 - Is she all right? 378 00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:08,920 - Want to buy some boys 'r' guys tickets? 379 00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:10,254 - Why is Scott calling you? 380 00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:11,589 I thought he liked me. 381 00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:13,290 - Ricky's having a party? 382 00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:17,261 I can't believe he didn't invite me. 383 00:13:17,263 --> 00:13:18,997 I thought he thought I was cute. 384 00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:21,599 - Stacey, it's not really a party. 385 00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:22,800 - That still doesn't explain 386 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,602 why you stole Scott away from me. 387 00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:28,072 - But, sandi, you said you didn't even like Scott. 388 00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:29,541 You said his fingers were too pudgy. 389 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:36,748 - Yellow sandals are so wrong. 390 00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:39,250 - Honey, Terry Barry Barlow wants to talk to you. 391 00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:40,517 Can you believe it? 392 00:13:40,519 --> 00:13:42,419 - There's so much about this day I can't believe. 393 00:13:42,421 --> 00:13:43,755 - Say, Darlene. 394 00:13:43,757 --> 00:13:46,490 Would alligator wrestling get you into a restaurant? 395 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:47,524 - Of course, it would. 396 00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:48,826 - That depends. 397 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,962 Is there a restaurant next door with cockfights? 398 00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,629 Darlene, you're sharp. 399 00:13:52,631 --> 00:13:53,731 You remind me of me. 400 00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:55,200 - Yeah. Uh, me too. 401 00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:56,534 - You two like ballooning? 402 00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:58,903 - Ballooning? Like up in the air? 403 00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:00,672 - These conferences are dull as dirt. 404 00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:03,675 Let's sneak off tomorrow morning for a spin in my balloon. 405 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:05,777 We can be back in time for the keynote address. 406 00:14:05,779 --> 00:14:07,078 - Way up in the air? 407 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,445 Sounds great. 408 00:14:08,447 --> 00:14:09,613 Yeah, that'll be fun. 409 00:14:09,615 --> 00:14:10,648 Right, daria? 410 00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:12,717 - More fun than a barrel of alligators. 411 00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:13,918 - Daria? 412 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,688 Okay, meet me out front at 5:00 a.m. 413 00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,456 - I thought you were afraid of heights. 414 00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:21,826 - Oh, uh, that was a long time ago. 415 00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:22,993 - Well, morgendorffer, 416 00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:24,929 the other cadets are going to turn in. 417 00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:28,032 They're all tuckered out from laughing at your cowardice. 418 00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,201 Guess I'll have to leave you here for the night. 419 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,836 By the way, your father called, 420 00:14:31,838 --> 00:14:33,437 and I told him all about it. 421 00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:37,575 He says don't bother coming home for easter. 422 00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:38,642 - Help me? 423 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:47,852 - Get a good night's sleep, kiddo. 424 00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:49,821 I'll wake you at 4:30. - Can't. 425 00:14:49,823 --> 00:14:52,656 I have a date at the museum of medical oddities tomorrow 426 00:14:52,658 --> 00:14:54,959 with a salivary gland tumor, remember? 427 00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:57,395 - But, daria, this balloon ride is my big break. 428 00:14:57,397 --> 00:15:00,064 Alligator alley is going to need lots of marketing know-how. 429 00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:01,331 We're a team, right? 430 00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:03,668 - Very much like an olympic skating duo 431 00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:05,236 without the sequins. 432 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,570 - Aw, you're right. 433 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,405 Why should you help me out? 434 00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:09,974 Here we've spent a whole day together, 435 00:15:09,976 --> 00:15:11,008 and I haven't even tried 436 00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:13,511 to find out, um, your dreams and fears. 437 00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:16,114 - My biggest fear right now is that I'll wake up 438 00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:18,249 and this conversation won't be a dream. 439 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,950 Do you think we should hang out more? 440 00:15:19,952 --> 00:15:21,819 You know, bond? 441 00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:24,021 - Um, I guess we could. 442 00:15:25,992 --> 00:15:27,658 - Ha. - Hmm. 443 00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,059 On the other hand, 444 00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:31,061 you know how we always sit in the kitchen together 445 00:15:31,063 --> 00:15:33,063 reading the paper and not talking? 446 00:15:33,065 --> 00:15:34,465 - Is this a trick question? 447 00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:36,601 - Maybe our father-daughter relationship 448 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,536 has reached that rare level where we no longer 449 00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:41,105 have to go through the motions of empty conversation. 450 00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,406 That's bonding. 451 00:15:42,408 --> 00:15:44,742 - Yeah, but your mother thinks 452 00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:46,510 there's a lot of stuff I don't know about you. 453 00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:47,912 - 6 1/2 "b." 454 00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:49,313 - I don't want to know that! 455 00:15:49,315 --> 00:15:50,614 - It's my shoe size. 456 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:53,050 - Oh. 10 "d." 457 00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:56,120 - Okay, now that we know each other's deepest secrets, 458 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,289 I say it's time to hit the sack. 459 00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,991 And I'll see you at 4:30. 460 00:16:00,993 --> 00:16:02,026 - Great! 461 00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:03,861 Stupid! 462 00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:07,632 No matter what I do, pillow hair. 463 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:10,901 - This papaya jojoba overnight facial mask 464 00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:13,404 is really itchy. 465 00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:14,839 - I'm warning you guys, 466 00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:16,674 I don't look my best in the morning. 467 00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:18,075 I hope I don't scare you. 468 00:16:18,077 --> 00:16:21,546 Oh, sandi, I just hope I don't scare you. 469 00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:24,248 - Are you sure you don't mind me taking the bed? 470 00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:26,016 If it weren't for my condition-- 471 00:16:26,018 --> 00:16:29,219 - oh, yeah, your condition. 472 00:16:29,221 --> 00:16:30,888 - Of course not. 473 00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:32,456 Well, sweet dreams, everyone. 474 00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:34,025 - Sweet dreams. - Good night. 475 00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:46,304 - Sandi! 476 00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:47,305 - Quinn! 477 00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:48,339 - Did you have a bad dream? 478 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,606 - A real nightmare. 479 00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:50,741 - Me too. 480 00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:52,009 - What was yours about? 481 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,611 - Um, someone hurting puppies. 482 00:16:54,613 --> 00:16:56,947 - Mine was about orphans who needed ankle boots. 483 00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:58,950 Well, back to sleep. 484 00:16:58,952 --> 00:17:01,052 - Night. 485 00:17:03,889 --> 00:17:05,723 - What's your fancy, Jake? 486 00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:07,291 Play tag with the treetops 487 00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:09,493 or go out over the water for a mile or two? 488 00:17:09,495 --> 00:17:12,163 - Oh, uh, whatever is more bold and exciting. 489 00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:14,499 - I hear they have a bold and exciting brunch 490 00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:15,599 back at the hotel. 491 00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:16,734 - Where is the crew? 492 00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:17,902 It is time for the get-go. 493 00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:19,170 - You're looking at them, arno. 494 00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:21,705 My new compadres, Jake and daria mogendavid. 495 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,040 - That's-- - don't bother. 496 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,708 - You'd put our lives in the hands 497 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,310 of a teenager and a confused man? 498 00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:27,611 - Hey! 499 00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:30,581 - Also, I do not like the looks of those cumulus. 500 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,049 No, no flight today. 501 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,817 - Prepare for takeoff now! 502 00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:36,387 When I say "frog," I expect you to jump. 503 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,988 - I am not a hoppy thing. 504 00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:39,690 I am a world-class balloonist. 505 00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:41,158 - Who pays your salary, blondie? 506 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,060 I made you, and I can break you. 507 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,261 - Oh, yes? 508 00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:46,730 Well, how would CNN Mr. George Bernie Shaw 509 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,299 like to know I am the one 510 00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,301 who ripped the balloon open with my teeth? 511 00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:54,906 And I myself have the dental records to prove so. 512 00:17:57,343 --> 00:17:59,276 - I feel terrible. 513 00:17:59,278 --> 00:18:01,044 - I feel horrible. 514 00:18:01,046 --> 00:18:02,046 - Pillow hair. 515 00:18:02,048 --> 00:18:04,414 - Rash. 516 00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,318 - Sorry to bother you, Mrs. Morgendorffer, 517 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,686 but we were worried about Quinn. 518 00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:10,020 - No one's seen her all weekend. 519 00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:11,556 Did she elope or something? 520 00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:12,956 - Please say no. 521 00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:14,658 - You don't look tired at all, Quinn. 522 00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:18,195 If I were you, I wouldn't even wear makeup today. 523 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,799 - Hi, Quinn. 524 00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:24,836 - I sell my soul to wet-nurse the whiny billionaire, 525 00:18:24,838 --> 00:18:27,305 and someone else balloons around the world first. 526 00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,740 Oh, Denmark, how I have failed you. 527 00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:32,676 - You could still be the first to fly around the world twice. 528 00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:33,678 - Teen girl is right. 529 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:34,712 I shall do it. 530 00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:37,348 Beginning now, I quit. 531 00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:39,183 - Next time, I get a Norwegian. 532 00:18:39,185 --> 00:18:40,818 Well, let's get cracking. 533 00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:43,320 Jake, get into the gondola and man the burner. 534 00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:44,388 - Whoops. 535 00:18:44,390 --> 00:18:45,857 Broke the zipper on my sweatshirt. 536 00:18:45,859 --> 00:18:47,024 No can do. 537 00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:48,525 - A little nervous, huh, Jake? 538 00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:50,427 You know how I got where I am today? 539 00:18:50,429 --> 00:18:53,029 - I know it had something to do with balloon biting. 540 00:18:53,031 --> 00:18:54,298 - Pure guts. 541 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,467 I've been face-to-face with bengal tigers, 542 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:57,901 himalayan snow squalls, 543 00:18:57,903 --> 00:18:59,803 strange kids calling out, "daddy!" 544 00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:01,505 Did I let fear paralyze me? 545 00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:02,707 No way. 546 00:19:02,709 --> 00:19:04,141 - I'm not afraid of you, 547 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,743 you clouds that are looking an awful lot 548 00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:07,078 like dad's face right now! 549 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:08,245 Let's balloon! 550 00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:09,613 - Come on, daria! 551 00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:11,549 - Gee, I don't think so. 552 00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:14,685 While I love a good air disaster as much as the next person, 553 00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:17,688 I was hoping my father and I would both be around long enough 554 00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:19,257 for him to squander my inheritance 555 00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:21,558 on telemarketing scams and digitalis. 556 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,094 - Kiddo, where are you going? 557 00:19:23,096 --> 00:19:24,428 - What do you think you're doing? 558 00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:26,296 - Refusing to have anything to do 559 00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:29,600 with an unmanageable bag of hot air or his balloon. 560 00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:31,769 - Oh, yeah? Well, screw this crap. 561 00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:34,038 I'm going sailing. 562 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,574 - Oh, well, no ballooning today. Darn it. 563 00:19:38,710 --> 00:19:39,710 - Um, dad? 564 00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:40,711 - Don't worry, daria. 565 00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:42,446 It's beautiful up here. 566 00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:43,714 I'm not afraid! 567 00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:47,351 I finally know what it is to conquer my fears! 568 00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:49,686 Nothing can stop me now! 569 00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:53,624 Mommy? 570 00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:56,326 - Watch out for that tree. 571 00:19:56,328 --> 00:19:59,129 - What if this girl's boyfriend 572 00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:01,632 doesn't appreciate her as much as he used to? 573 00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:03,701 What if what was once a hot relationship 574 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,436 is now sort of a drag? 575 00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:07,371 Let's say they've been going steady for-- 576 00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,974 I don't know--20 years. 577 00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:11,442 - Sorry that balloon ride 578 00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:13,144 didn't work out the way you wanted. 579 00:20:13,146 --> 00:20:14,545 - I'm fine, daria. 580 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,347 Damn it. I'm more than fine. 581 00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:19,150 This experience has given me a new jolt of confidence. 582 00:20:19,152 --> 00:20:21,818 Oh, sure, it was painful having that branch removed, 583 00:20:21,820 --> 00:20:23,053 but I've conquered a fear 584 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,322 that's been with me ever since childhood. 585 00:20:25,324 --> 00:20:27,458 I'm not afraid of anything now. 586 00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:28,926 I owe you one, kiddo. 587 00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:31,161 - Well, we still have a few hours 588 00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:34,364 before we're due at the airport. 589 00:20:34,366 --> 00:20:35,666 - Is that a-- 590 00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:36,967 could that really be a-- 591 00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:38,635 ew.