- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
- HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?
HI; NICE DAY, HUH?
HOW YOU DOING?
HI.
HOW ARE YOU?
OH, MAN.
[school bell rings]
- SO THEN I SAID,
"SURE, IT'S A NICE CAR.
DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH GAS TO GET BACK TO LOSERVILLE?"
[laughter]
- THAT'S FUNNY, SANDI.
- YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO TELL A STORY.
- THANKS.
- TELL THE PART ABOUT QUINN AGAIN.
- QUINN WASN'T IN THAT STORY.
IT WAS ME, TIFFANY, AND STACY.
- WELL, THEN TAKE STACY OUT AND PUT QUINN IN.
- HI, GUYS.
HI, SANDI. HI, JOEY.
HI, JEFFY. HI, JOHNNY.
- HI, QUINN. - HI, QUINN.
IT'S JAMIE.
- HI, SANDI.
- OH.
- WOW. - WHOA.
- OH, MY GOD.
- SO, QUINN, I WAS WONDERING IF...
- NO.
- OH, IT'S SO CUTE.
- IT'S THE CUTEST.
- YOU THINK SO?
I TOLD DR. SHAR.
- OH, DR. SHAR. SHE'S THE BEST.
- EVERYBODY USES HER.
- I TOLD DR. SHAR I WANTED CUTE BUT, YOU KNOW, NOT...
TOO CUTE.
- IT'S NOT TOO CUTE.
IT'S CUTE BUT NOT OBNOXIOUS ABOUT IT.
- WHAT DO YOU THINK, QUINN?
- IT'S CUTE.
- JUST CUTE?
- QUINN HAS VERY HIGH NOSE STANDARDS.
- I SAID IT WAS CUTE.
- OH, LIKE YOU MEANT IT.
"OH, IT'S CUTE."
- WELL, AT LEAST I THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
I DIDN'T JUST SAY IT WAS CUTE WITHOUT THINKING.
- EXCUSE ME.
ARE YOU SAYING WE'RE SHALLOW?
- WAIT, YOU GUYS WERE JUST SAYING IT WAS CUTE?
- NO.
QUINN'S JUST SO DEEP,
SHE THINKS WE WOULD SAY SOMETHING'S CUTE
WHEN IT'S NOT CUTE,
WHICH WE WOULDN'T.
- NO WAY.
- EXAMPLE:
I WOULD NEVER TELL QUINN THAT SHE LOOKS CUTE
IN THAT THING SHE ALWAYS WEARS.
- I DON'T HAVE A THING I ALWAYS WEAR.
- IF YOU SAY SO.
- I HAVE LOTS OF THINGS
WHICH I WEAR AT DIFFERENT TIMES
FAR APART IN TIME.
- AS YOU WISH.
- YOU'RE JUST MAD BECAUSE I SAID YOU'RE SHALLOW--
WHICH I MEANT SOME OTHER WAY.
- SO THEN... IT IS CUTE?
- LET'S ASK AN AVERAGE PERSON.
QUINN, THERE'S THAT GIRL YOU KNOW.
LET'S ASK HER.
HELLO...
QUINN'S COUSIN OR SOMETHING.
- YOU'LL HAVE TO EXCUSE ME.
MY SISTER WANTS ME TO STAY AWAY.
- SO, QUINN'S LITTLE FRIEND,
OR WHATEVER,
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
- WHAT IS IT?
- IT'S BROOKE'S NEW NOSE.
ISN'T IT CUTE?
- DON'T WORRY.
IT'LL GROW OUT.
- SO I SAID I THOUGHT IT WAS CUTE.
- REALLY?
- WHY DOESN'T ANYONE BELIEVE ME?
- WHAT WAS WRONG WITH BROOKE'S OLD NOSE?
- IT WASN'T CUTE.
IT HAD, LIKE, AN EXTRA BONE IN IT.
- HEY, IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR DESSERT.
COULD WE DISCUSS LIPOSUCTION NOW?
- I JUST DON'T LIKE THE IDEA
OF YOU GIRLS TALKING ABOUT COSMETIC SURGERY.
MAYBE WHEN YOU'RE OLDER AND YOU'RE DOING IT FOR YOURSELF
OR THERE'S A SOUND PROFESSIONAL REASON FOR IT.
I MEAN, YOU NEED TO BE PRESENTABLE.
YES, IT'S A DOUBLE STANDARD,
BUT WOMEN IN BUSINESS ARE JUDGED ON THEIR LOOKS,
AND THERE'S NO GETTING AROUND THAT.
BUT BREAST IMPLANTS...
I JUST DON'T KNOW.
- RIGHT.
- I MEAN, WHEN A WOMAN IS ELECTED PRESIDENT,
IT WON'T BE BECAUSE SHE GOT BREAST IMPLANTS.
- AT LEAST HER PEOPLE WILL DENY IT.
- JAKE, I COULD USE SOME HELP HERE.
- UH, N-NO, HONEY.
YOU LOOK GREAT.
EVERYBODY LOOKS GREAT.
PERFECT.
- THAT'S NOT WHAT I--
- I'M NOT PERFECT.
MY NOSE HAS... INPERFECTIONS.
- THAT'S IMPERFECTIONS, SWEETIE.
- I KNEW IT.
- AH, HELL.
[dog barking]
- UH, OW!
- WANT TO BORROW MY STAPLER?
- OH!
[school bell rings]
- NOW, KEVIN.
WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEK
WHEN YOU WALKED DOWN THE STREET
SAYING HELLO TO PEOPLE?
- 12 PEOPLE SMILED BACK.
15 SAID HELLO.
8 SAID HI.
- AND, MR. FOOTBALL HERO,
WHAT HAPPENED THIS WEEK
WHEN YOU SAID HELLO TO PEOPLE
WEARING YOUR SPECIAL UGLY FACE?
- 14 PEOPLE PRETENDED NOT TO SEE ME.
5 CROSSED THE STREET TO GET AWAY.
7 RAN.
3 CALLED THE POLICE,
AND I'M PRETTY SURE THIS ONE GUY FIRED A SHOT.
- AND SO WHAT DOES THIS EXPERIMENT TEACH US
ABOUT HOW THE PERCEPTION OF ATTRACTIVENESS
AFFECTS HUMAN BEHAVIOR?
BRITTANY?
- OH, KEVVY. WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?
- IT'S JUST MAKEUP, BABE.
- DON'T TOUCH ME, YOU FREAK.
- CAN I TAKE THIS STUFF OFF NOW?
I DON'T LIKE NOT BEING LIKED.
- PUT THAT BACK.
YOU'LL TAKE IT OFF WHEN I'VE CRUSHED YOUR EGO.
HUH, I MEAN WHEN THE EXPERIMENT'S OVER.
- MS. BARCH, WOULD YOU PLEASE
SEND DARIA MORGENDORFFER TO THE OFFICE?
HER SISTER-- - COUSIN.
- EM, HER COUSIN NEEDS HER.
- I DON'T KNOW HOW I'LL MAKE UP THE CLASS WORK.
- NOT EVEN THE WART?
- THE WART'S THE BEST PART.
- WHAT'S RHINOPLASTY?
- EXACTLY WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE.
- WELL, THEY COULD USE IT, I GUESS.
- HOW ARE THE CRAMPS? - SHUT UP.
- I'M TRULY TOUCHED.
NOT ONLY DID YOU GET OUT OF CLASS BY FAKING SICK,
BUT YOU CONVINCED THE NURSE TO LET YOUR SISTER TAKE YOU HOME.
OF COURSE, WE DON'T APPEAR TO BE GOING HOME.
- I NEED YOU TO BE MY ALIBI.
- GENERALLY YOU WANT YOUR ALIBI
NOT TO BE A WITNESS AT THE SCENE OF THE CRIME.
- I JUST NEED YOU HERE, OKAY?
- UH, OKAY.
WHY? - WHY WHAT?
- WHY ME AND NOT ONE OF YOUR HUNDREDS OF FRIENDS?
- I NEED, UH...
SOMEONE WHO HAS KNOWN ME FOR A WHILE
WHO'S, LIKE, THAT THING.
- WHAT THING?
- YOU KNOW, HONEST.
DON'T TELL ANYONE,
OR I'LL JUST SAY YOU FOLLOWED ME.
- RIGHT. GOOD PLAN.
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
- I CAN'T BELIEVE THOSE GUYS
WENT TO SEE DR. SHAR WITHOUT ME.
- HOW DO YOU KNOW THEY CAME HERE?
HOW DO YOU KNOW THEY DIDN'T JUST ALL GO
TO THE STUFFED ANIMAL STORE WITHOUT YOU?
- DIDN'T YOU SEE THE WAY THEY LOOKED AT BROOKE'S NEW NOSE?
WHERE ELSE COULD THEY HAVE GONE?
- BUT THEY ALL HAVE NOSES LIKE YOURS.
- RUB IT IN, WHY DON'T YOU?
- NOTICED HOW THEY ARE UNSHAPELY
AND REPORTED THIS IN A STUDY CONDUCTED IN 1982.
FROM THE FIRST TIME MAN AND WOMAN GAZED UPON THEMSELVES
IN THE RIPPLES OF A SUN-DAPPLED POOL,
HUMAN BEINGS HAVE BEEN BLESSED, AND BURDENED,
BY AWARENESS OF THEIR OWN IMAGE.
BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR THIGHS?
- NOW, HOW ARE THEY GONNA EXPLAIN THIS
TO THE OTHER MONKEYS?
- WE'VE BEEN HERE AN HOUR.
WHEN'S MY GIRLFRIEND GONNA GET HER NEW RACK?
- DR. SHAR'S VERY BUSY, SIR.
QUINN MORGENDORFFER.
- HEY, WAIT. WE WERE HERE FIRST.
OH, WHOA. EMERGENCY.
I UNDERSTAND.
- OF COURSE IT'S GONNA BE HARDER TO BREATHE, HON.
THOSE NOSTRILS ARE ITTY-BITTY
COMPARED TO THE ONES YOU HAD.
TRY BREATHING THROUGH YOUR MOUTH.
GO ON, TRY IT.
THAT'S RIGHT.
IN, OUT.
THAT SOUNDS GOOD.
AGAIN, SWEETIE.
IN...
OUT.
YOU KEEP THAT GOING.
BYE.
SO HELLO THERE, QUINN,
WHICHEVER ONE OF YOU IS QUINN.
WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?
- IT'S MY NOSE.
- OH, HONEY, NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT NOSE.
THAT'S A PRETTY LITTLE SCHNOZ.
- IT'S A SCHNOZ?
- NO, IT'S THE TINIEST LITTLE THING.
- THANK YOU. CAN YOU FIX IT?
- OH, HONEY, I WOULDN'T TOUCH IT.
IT WOULD BE A CRIME AGAINST NATURE...
AND AN ETHICS VIOLATION
DR. SHAR JUST DOESN'T NEED RIGHT NOW.
BUT LET'S SEE IF WE CAN'T DO SOMETHING.
QUINN, WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE YOURSELF WITH CHEEKBONES?
- I HAVE CHEEKBONES.
- WE ALL DO, HONEY.
AND MAYBE THAT BABY FAT WILL DROP AWAY
AND YOURS WILL SHOW.
YOU NEVER KNOW.
BUT FOR $2,300, THIS MONTH ONLY, YOU CAN BE SURE.
- I DON'T HAVE CHEEKBONES.
- ALL RIGHT, HONEY.
LET'S MAKE SOME LIPS...
DIMPLE YOU UP.
TWO MORE.
SOMETHING'S MISSING.
OOH, I KNOW.
AND AS LONG AS WE'RE HERE,
LET'S DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT HAIR.
[computer beeps]
- I AM TOO CUTE.
- AND ONLY $6,000, SO FAR.
ANYTHING ELSE?
- COULD I SEE WHAT SHE'D LOOK LIKE
WITH EYEBROW RIDGES AND A LARGE SLOPING FOREHEAD?
- ALL RIGHT, FUNNY GAL, YOUR TURN.
- NO. THANK YOU.
- NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF.
- I'M NOT AFRAID.
- IT'LL BE FUN.
- I DON'T LIKE FUN.
- COME ON, DARIA.
[camera whirs]
- OH, WHERE SHALL WE BEGIN?
HMM.
NOSE,
CHIN,
EYES.
CHEEKS, LIPS, HAIR.
ALL RIGHTY.
LET'S HAVE A LOOK, 'KAY?
[computer beeps and whirs]
IT'S A START.
- OH, LOOK, DARIA.
YOU'RE CUTE.
DR. SHAR, DO YOU THINK MAYBE
I COULD GET A COUPLE MORE OF THESE WALLET SIZE?
- WE ALL KNOW ABOUT THE TERRIBLE ATROCITIES
CAUSED BY AMERICA'S LUST FOR VEAL,
BUT HERE'S SOMETHING NICE YOU CAN DO FOR CALVES...
CALF IMPLANTS.
- QUINN, HONEY, I LIKE YOUR ATTITUDE.
YOU'RE OPEN TO LIFE'S POSSIBILITIES.
- I TRY TO BE.
- BUT YOU, DARIA,
I HATE TO SEE A YOUNG LADY GIVE UP ON HERSELF
AT SUCH AN EARLY AGE.
- I DON'T CONSIDER REJECTING
THE DR. FRANKENSTEIN APPROACH
GIVING UP.
- IT PUTS A FROWN ON MY FACE,
AND I DON'T LIKE HAVING A FROWN ON MY FACE.
- MAYBE YOU CAN INJECT COLLAGEN INTO YOUR LIPS
IN THE SHAPE OF A SMILE.
- THIS IS FOR YOU, DARIA.
OPEN IT WHEN YOU'VE GOT SOME FREE TIME.
THEN I WANT YOU TO EXAMINE IT,
GET COMFORTABLE WITH IT.
THINK ABOUT IT CAREFULLY.
CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE, HON.
CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
- IT'S NOT LEFTOVER NOSE PIECES, IS IT?
- HUMOR MAY LIFT YOUR SPIRITS, DARIA.
BUT IT TAKES A PROFESSIONAL TO LIFT YOUR BUTTOCKS.
[laughs]
DOCTORS' JOKE.
HAVE A NICE DAY, GIRLS.
AND REMEMBER, MONEY CAN MAKE ANYONE BEAUTIFUL.
- DON'T WORRY.
YOU'RE GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.
- I'M A MESS,
AND IT'LL COST $6,000 TO FIX.
- YOU'RE NOT REALLY GONNA TAKE THAT WOMAN SERIOUSLY, ARE YOU?
SHE EARNS HER LIVING
MAKING PEOPLE FEEL BAD ABOUT THEIR LOOKS.
- YOU'RE JUST MAD 'CAUSE SHE FIGURED YOU OUT.
DR. SHAR IS REALLY SMART ABOUT PEOPLE.
- OH, YEAH.
SHE'S GOT MY NUMBER, ALL RIGHT.
"DR. SHAR'S PRE-IMPLANT
"TEMPORARY BUST AUGMENTATIONS,
FOR EVALUATION PURPOSES ONLY."
SHE KNEW JUST WHAT I NEEDED: PRACTICE BOOBS.
SO FIRST SHE TELLS QUINN
THAT SHE CAN FIX HER UP FOR $6,000.
- MISS PERT AND PRETTY?
WHAT COULD SHE POSSIBLY NEED FOR SIX "G"s
OTHER THAN A NEW PERSONALITY?
- WAIT, THERE'S MORE.
THEN SHE ANNOUNCES FOR 20 GRAND, SHE CAN FIX ME,
WHICH MEANS SHE CAN MAKE ME LOOK LIKE QUINN.
- WHAT DO YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE THAT LOSER FOR?
SHE NEEDS $6,000 WORTH OF PLASTIC SURGERY.
- AND THEN TO TOP OFF THE DAY,
SHE SENDS ME HOME WITH A PAIR OF FAKE BOOBS.
SAYS THEY'LL CHANGE MY ATTITUDE.
- BOY, SHE WAS REALLY TRYING TO MAKE YOU INSECURE.
- I KNOW.
IF I DIDN'T HAVE SUCH LOW SELF-ESTEEM,
SHE MIGHT HAVE GOTTEN TO ME.
- ANYWAY, I DON'T THINK YOUR ATTITUDE'S SO BAD.
YOU PROBABLY ONLY NEED ONE FAKE BOOB.
- I'M REALLY MAD AT YOU GUYS.
- OH, WHY IS THAT?
- BECAUSE YOU ALL WENT AND GOT NOSE JOBS WITHOUT ME.
- BUT YOU'D NEVER GET A NOSE JOB.
YOU'RE NOT THAT SHALLOW.
- HOW DO YOU KNOW?
- BECAUSE A REALLY DEEP PERSON LIKE YOU
HAS TOO MANY IMPORTANT THINGS ON HER MIND,
LIKE THE NEWS OR SOMETHING,
TO PAY ATTENTION TO HER APPEARANCE.
- THAT'S NOT TRUE.
- BUT, QUINN, WHAT ELSE COULD POSSIBLY ACCOUNT
FOR YOUR SHOWING UP AT SCHOOL IN SUCH A DATED OUTFIT?
- BUT YOU HELPED ME BUY THIS OUTFIT.
- THAT WAS DAYS AGO, WEEKS, IF MEMORY SERVES.
OF COURSE, SO MUCH TIME HAS PASSED,
I COULD BE WRONG.
- WELL, WHATEVER.
ANYWAY, I COULD HAVE COME ALONG FOR MORAL SUPPORT.
- LIKE YOU WERE SO SUPPORTIVE WITH BROOKE?
- OH, MY GOD.
LOOK.
- IT'S BROOKE.
- OH, NO.
SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
- HI, SANDI, STACY, TIFFANY,
EVERYBODY.
- [together] BROOKE.
- OH, MY GOD, BROOKE.
YOU HAVE SUCH A CUTE WAIST.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU HAD ONE.
- I DIDN'T.
DR. SHAR LIPOSUCKED ONE OUT FOR ME.
- EXCELLENT.
- NOT ONLY THAT,
SHE TOOK THE FAT, YOU KNOW,
THAT SHE SUCKED OUT,
AND GAVE ME THESE LUSCIOUS LIPS.
- IT'S LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE.
- DR. SHAR SAYS IT'LL ONLY LAST A FEW MONTHS,
BUT FORTUNATELY, I'VE STILL GOT MY BUTT.
[laughter]
NO, SERIOUSLY.
DR. SHAR SAYS THE AVERAGE FEMALE HAS ENOUGH FAT IN HER BUTT
TO KEEP HER LIPS LUSCIOUS UNTIL SHE'S, LIKE, 70.
- GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS.
- BROOKE, I MUST SAY,
AND I MEAN THIS IN A NOT SHALLOW WAY,
YOU ARE TOTALLY CUTE NOW.
- SUPER CUTE.
- WAIT, SO DOES THAT MEAN
I CAN JOIN THE FASHION CLUB?
- WHO KNOWS?
WE MAY HAVE AN OPENING SOON.
WHAT'S THE RULE, LAST HIRED, FIRST FIRED?
[school bell rings]
- YOU BRING THEM?
- YEAH.
- HOW'S THE SCIENCE PROJECT?
- OKAY.
DARIA...
[unintelligible]
- WHAT?
- DARIA.
MAN, I NEED YOUR ADVICE.
YOU'RE USED TO BEING UNPOPULAR.
- THANKS.
- IT'S REALLY BUMMING ME OUT
THAT PEOPLE HATE THE WAY I LOOK.
- WELL, A RESPECTABLE MEMBER OF THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY
ONCE TOLD ME THAT MONEY CAN MAKE ANYONE BEAUTIFUL.
- HEY, THANKS, DARIA.
- WHAT DO YOU THINK HE THINKS YOU MEANT?
- WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? HE'S GONE.
- TRUE ENOUGH.
WELL, COME ON. WHERE ARE THEY?
- IN HERE.
- OH, DARIA, DON'T BE SHY.
SHOW ME YOUR BOOBS.
HMM, AND WHY DID I THINK THIS WOULD BE MORE INTERESTING?
- GOOD DAY, LADIES.
WHAT'S IN THE BOX?
ART PROJECT? SCIENCE EXPERIMENT?
ADORABLE LITTLE PET? [barks]
- A LITTLE OF EACH, UPCHUCK.
TAKE A LOOK.
- HMM.
CALL ME COUNTRY BUMPKIN.
BUT WHAT IS IT?
- IT'S A FAKE BOOB.
- [shuddering noises]
[shrieks]
- I GUESS HE'S NOT QUITE READY FOR A PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP.
- DARIA.
DARIA, I NEED TO...
SHOO, SHOO.
I NEED TO BORROW $6,000.
- I DON'T HAVE $6,000.
- IT'S AN EMERGENCY.
- WELL, IF IT'S AN EMERGENCY...
- HERE'S WHAT YOU DO.
TELL MOM AND DAD THAT DR. SHAR SAYS
YOU NEED HUMAN GROWTH HORMONE.
THEY'LL BELIEVE THAT.
- I WOULD.
- BUT INSTEAD, DR. SHAR WILL DO ME
AND CHARGE THEM FOR YOU.
AND YOU'LL PROBABLY GROW ANYWAY.
- GOOD PLAN.
BUT WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
DR. SHAR IS GONNA GO FOR THIS?
- IT WAS HER IDEA.
- I CAN'T HAVE THIS ON MY CONSCIENCE.
- YOU DON'T HAVE A CONSCIENCE.
- WHAT I MEANT WAS,
I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.
- YOU'VE GOT TO.
WHERE ELSE AM I GONNA GET $6,000?
- TAKE UP A COLLECTION?
- YOU'RE PAYING FOR MY THERAPY.
- SO YOU SEE, WHEN YOU CONTRIBUTE TO MY SURGERY,
IT'S LIKE WE'RE ALL SHARING THE SURGERY.
WE'RE MAKING A STATEMENT ABOUT SOLIDARITY.
- SOLIDARITY?
- YOU KNOW, SISTERHOOD IS POWERFUL.
- AREN'T YOU A LITTLE WORRIED THAT THERE MAY BE A HELL?
- IT'S NOT EVEN LIKE I'M DOING IT FOR ME.
I'M DOING IT TO BRING HONOR TO THE SCHOOL.
- WELL, THEN WHY DON'T YOU APPLY FOR A FEDERAL GRANT, DEAR?
SEND AN INQUIRY TO
THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF DELUDED ADOLESCENTS.
- IS THAT E-N-C-E OR E-N-T-S?
- SO WHAT DO WE GET IF WE PLEDGE?
- YOU GET TO LOOK AT ME WALKING AROUND LIKE THIS ALL DAY.
- NO, LIKE, WHAT DO WE GET?
[laughter]
- THE SAME THING YOU'RE GETTING NOW:
NOTHING.
[school bell rings]
- PLEDGE DRIVE NOT GOING WELL?
- PEOPLE ARE SO SHALLOW.
HERE, THIS IS ALL I GOT,
AND IT'S FOR YOU FROM UPCHUCK.
- WHY? - DEPOSIT.
HE WANTS TO RENT THAT FAKE BOOB FOR THE WEEKEND.
- LISTEN, QUINN...
- YOU KNOW, MAYBE I SHOULD GET BOOBS.
I BET IF I GOT SOME BOOBS ON CREDIT,
I COULD GET THE REST OF THE MONEY IN NO TIME.
- QUINN...
- OR MAYBE DR. SHAR WOULD GIVE ME
A PART-TIME JOB SWEEPING UP FAT OR SOMETHING.
- QUINN.
- I MEAN, I LIKE BEING ATTRACTIVE AND POPULAR.
IT'S, LIKE, ME, OKAY?
SO IF DR. SHAR MAKES EVERYBODY ELSE ATTRACTIVE AND POPULAR,
THEN I'LL HAVE TO BE EVEN MORE ATTRACTIVE JUST TO KEEP UP.
AND THEN IF THEY, LIKE, GO BACK TO HER TO CATCH UP TO ME,
THEN I'LL HAVE TO GO BACK,
AND PRETTY SOON IT'LL BE, LIKE,
ONE OF THOSE VICIOUS THINGS.
WHERE WILL IT END, DARIA?
WHERE WILL IT END?
- YOU DON'T NEED SURGERY, QUINN.
I WAS HOPING IT WOULDN'T COME TO THIS,
AND I'LL DENY I EVER SAID IT,
BUT THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU...PHYSICALLY.
YOU'VE GOT THE KIND OF LOOKS
THAT MAKE OTHER GIRLS MENTALLY ILL, SO STOP IT.
YOU DON'T NEED ANY PLASTIC SURGERY.
YOU'RE PERFECT.
- WHY DO I BOTHER TALKING TO YOU?
- OH, MY GOD. - OH, MY GOD.
- OH, MY GOD, WHAT?
- DID YOU HEAR WHAT HAPPENED TO BROOKE?
- YEAH, SHE'S SUPER CUTE.
- SHE HAD A NASAL RELAPSE.
- WE WERE JUST TALKING...
- AND IT WAS HORRIBLE.
- THE WHOLE THING...
- JUST CAVED IN.
- THAT'S HORRIBLE.
- YOU COULD, LIKE, SEE HER BRAIN,
OR AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT TIFFANY HEARD FROM DOUG
WHO HEARD IT FROM BRENDA,
WHOSE COUSIN WORKS IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM.
- AT ANOTHER HOSPITAL IN BELGIUM.
- AND HER NEW LIPS:
ALL THE FAT IN THE TOP
SLIPPED DOWN TO THE BOTTOM.
NOW SHE LOOKS LIKE ONE OF THOSE BEER DOGS ON TV.
- THAT POOR GIRL.
- YEAH, NOW SHE LOOKS EVEN LESS CUTE THAN SHE DID BEFORE.
MAYBE THE FASHION CLUB SHOULD SEND HER FLOWERS OR SOMETHING.
I MEAN, SINCE I GUESS SHE WON'T BE JOINING ANY TIME SOON.
- YOU ALL MUST BE VERY UPSET ABOUT THAT.
- MM.
BUT WE'RE LIKE A BUILT-IN SUPPORT GROUP FOR EACH OTHER.
- A REGULAR KHMER ROUGE.
- WELL, BLUSH IS MORE LIKE IT.
- HEY, HOW YOU DOING?
HERE'S FIVE BUCKS.
- THANKS, DUDE.
GREAT TO MEET YOU.
- HEY, WHAT'S UP?
HERE'S FIVE BUCKS.
- HEY, THANKS, MAN.
YOU'RE PRETTY COOL.
- HEY, COWPOKE.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE $5?
- [crying loudly]
- OH, WAIT.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO SCARE YOU, LITTLE GUY.
MAKE IT $10.
- THANKS. YOU'RE REALLY NICE.
I LIKE YOU.
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com
[rock music]
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♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪