1
00:00:02,970 --> 00:00:05,437
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪

2
00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:08,107
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪

3
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:15,614
- DADDY, REMEMBER THAT TUTORING
YOU WANTED ME TO TAKE FOR MATH?

4
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,148
IT'S GOING TO BE $50 AN HOUR.

5
00:00:17,150 --> 00:00:19,484
- $50 AN HOUR?

6
00:00:19,486 --> 00:00:21,586
- WELL, I GOT THE BAD NEWS
FROM THE PERIODONTIST:

7
00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:24,523
SIX MONTHS' WORK OF GUM WORK,
$800 A MONTH.

8
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:25,857
- $800 A MONTH?

9
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,225
- MAIL'S HERE.

10
00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:29,761
DID YOU KNOW CONGRESS
STILL SPENDS $250 BILLION A YEAR

11
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:31,029
ON THE MILITARY?

12
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,665
- $250 BILLION A YEAR?

13
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,033
DAMN IT!
THAT'S IT, DARIA.

14
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,368
WHAT AM I, MADE OF MONEY?

15
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:38,303
- JAKE, WERE YOU LISTENING?

16
00:00:38,305 --> 00:00:39,371
DARIA SAID--

17
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:41,906
- TUTORING, DENTAL WORK,
CONGRESS!

18
00:00:41,908 --> 00:00:43,875
I'M NOT A MACHINE, DAMN IT.
I'M A MAN!

19
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,211
FOR ONCE IN MY STINKIN' LIFE,
SHOW A LITTLE--

20
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:47,779
GAH! GAH!

21
00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:50,482
- OH, JAKEY, NOT AGAIN.

22
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:51,517
- IT'S MY EYE!

23
00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:53,619
OH, GOD, IT'S MY EYE!

24
00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:54,786
- OH, NO.

25
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:56,654
GET THE CAMERA.

26
00:00:56,656 --> 00:00:58,323
- NO CAMERA, DARIA.

27
00:00:58,325 --> 00:01:00,325
REMEMBER WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID

28
00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:02,494
LAST TIME YOU BURST
A BLOOD VESSEL?

29
00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:05,497
- YEAH, HE SAID,
"THAT'LL BE $200."

30
00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:06,765
- BEFORE THAT.

31
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:09,167
HE SAID YOU NEED TO CUT DOWN
ON YOUR STRESS.

32
00:01:09,169 --> 00:01:12,003
AND WE'RE GOING TO DO THAT
THIS WEEKEND.

33
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:16,241
WE'RE GOING CAMPING,
LIKE WE USED TO BEFORE--

34
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,910
I'LL TAKE FRIDAY OFF, AND WE'LL
MAKE A LONG WEEKEND OF IT.

35
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,246
- YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE
A DAY OFF?

36
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:26,318
- DARIA, A HEALTHY, HAPPY FAMILY
COMES BEFORE WORK...ALWAYS.

37
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:28,587
BESIDES, I HAVE VACATION TIME
COMING,

38
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,556
AND ERIC TOLD ME
IF I DON'T USE IT, I LOSE IT.

39
00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:34,593
DAMN IT, THOSE BASTARDS AREN'T
GOING TO TAKE AWAY MY DAYS.

40
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:35,661
COME ON, JAKE.

41
00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:37,762
LET'S FIND THE PAINKILLERS.

42
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:42,700
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT US, MOM.

43
00:01:42,702 --> 00:01:44,736
WE'LL BE FINE.
RIGHT, DARIA?

44
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:45,803
- ABSOLUTELY.

45
00:01:45,805 --> 00:01:47,506
NO GUESTS, NO LATE NIGHTS.

46
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:49,574
- DON'T EVEN BOTHER, GIRLS.

47
00:01:49,576 --> 00:01:50,642
YOU'RE COMING WITH US.

48
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:51,976
- DAMN IT, DARIA!

49
00:01:51,978 --> 00:01:55,880
YOU COULD HAVE SOUNDED
LIKE YOU MEANT IT.

50
00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:59,251
- DAMN IT!
IT'S MY TURN TO SAY, "DAMN IT."

51
00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:03,421
- GUANO SEE SOME GUTSY CLIMBING?

52
00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:05,957
SCALING THE WORLD'S TALLEST PILE
OF SEAGULL DROPPINGS

53
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,093
NEXT ON<i> SICK, SAD WORLD.</i>

54
00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:09,427
- LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

55
00:02:09,429 --> 00:02:12,430
YOU, JAKE, HELEN,
AND PRINCESS GRACE

56
00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:13,565
ARE GOING CAMPING?

57
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,968
LIKE IN THE WOODS CAMPING?

58
00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:17,869
- I HOPE THE RAGING ENVY
YOU'RE FEELING

59
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:19,737
WON'T AFFECT OUR FRIENDSHIP.

60
00:02:19,739 --> 00:02:21,573
- I DO ENVY YOU.

61
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:23,742
- THEN I'M AFRAID
THE FEVER'S REACHED YOUR BRAIN

62
00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:25,210
AND YOU'LL HAVE TO BE DESTROYED.

63
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:27,179
- DO YOU KNOW WHERE I'LL BE
THIS WEEKEND?

64
00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:29,448
THE LANE FAMILY REUNION--

65
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:31,382
DOZENS OF LANES
FROM ALL OVER THE COUNTRY

66
00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:33,819
CONVERGING IN ONE MIDWESTERN
SPLIT-LEVEL

67
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,186
TO REMINDED THEMSELVES

68
00:02:35,188 --> 00:02:37,489
WHY THEY SCATTERED
IN THE FIRST PLACE.

69
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,824
- WOW.

70
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:40,725
I DIDN'T THINK YOUR PARENTS
WOULD BE CAUGHT DEAD

71
00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:41,893
AT SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

72
00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:42,994
- THEY WOULDN'T.

73
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,329
WE'RE THE BLACK SHEEP
OF THE CLAN.

74
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:45,697
WE'RE ONLY INVITED

75
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,932
BECAUSE HATING US BRINGS THEM
ALL CLOSER TOGETHER.

76
00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:50,802
MY PARENTS ARE MUCH TOO SMART
TO FALL FOR THAT TRICK.

77
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:51,903
- I THOUGHT SO.

78
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:54,339
- SO THEY'RE SENDING ME
AND TRENT

79
00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:55,574
AS THEIR REPRESENTATIVES.

80
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,943
- YOU KNOW,
A WEEKEND IN THE WOODS

81
00:02:57,945 --> 00:02:59,444
IS STARTING TO LOOK
PRETTY GOOD.

82
00:02:59,446 --> 00:03:00,812
- A WEEKEND

83
00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:02,814
ON THE WORLD'S TALLEST PILE
OF SEAGULL DROPPINGS

84
00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:05,116
IS STARTING TO LOOK PRETTY GOOD.

85
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:07,719
- ♪ GIVE MY REGARDS
TO BROADWAY ♪

86
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:10,355
♪ REMEMBER ME TO HERALD SQUARE ♪

87
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,657
♪ TELL ALL THE GANG
AT 42nd STREET ♪

88
00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:14,993
♪ THAT I WILL SOON BE THERE ♪

89
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:16,094
IS THIS GREAT OR WHAT?

90
00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:17,462
FOR THE NEXT 72 HOURS,

91
00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:19,598
WE'RE GOING TO LIVE OFF
WHAT NATURE SENDS OUR WAY.

92
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:20,865
SEE THAT STREAM?

93
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,701
THAT'S OUR DRINKING WATER.

94
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:23,801
SEE THOSE BERRIES?

95
00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:25,537
THAT'S OUR BREAKFAST.

96
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,004
- SEE THAT SKELETON?

97
00:03:27,006 --> 00:03:29,274
THAT'S OUR FUTURE.

98
00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:32,277
MADE YOU LOOK.

99
00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:37,683
- TRENT.

100
00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:39,417
TRENT.

101
00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:40,485
TRENT!

102
00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:42,487
- OFFICER, IT'S NOT EVEN MY CAR.

103
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:44,222
AW, JANEY.

104
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,724
WHAT?

105
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,425
- LET'S TALK STRATEGY.

106
00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:49,160
I DON'T WANT TO ARRIVE
WITHOUT A PLAN.

107
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:51,629
- HEY, I ALREADY THOUGHT
OF THAT.

108
00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:53,398
AS SOON AS WE GET THERE,
WE FIND THE BAR

109
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,368
AND WE DON'T LEAVE IT
UNTIL WE'RE UNCONSCIOUS.

110
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,202
- GOOD PLAN.

111
00:03:58,204 --> 00:04:00,605
BUT FIRST OF ALL,
THEY PROBABLY WON'T SERVE ME.

112
00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:02,574
SECOND, I DON'T WANT
TO PASS OUT.

113
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,576
AND THIRD,
SOMETIME BEFORE YOU PASS OUT,

114
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:07,512
YOU'LL DECIDE IT'S TIME
TO BE HONEST WITH EVERYONE.

115
00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:09,380
- OH, YEAH, BAD IDEA.

116
00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:10,949
DON'T WANT TO BE HONEST
WITH AUNT ELLIE

117
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,384
ABOUT HER VACATION PICTURES.

118
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:15,387
- OR COUSIN JIMMY
ABOUT HIS MODELING CAREER.

119
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:17,589
- OR AUNT BERNICE
ABOUT HER HATS.

120
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:18,724
- WHO'S AUNT BERNICE?

121
00:04:18,726 --> 00:04:21,126
- YOU KNOW, FROM MIDDLEBURY.

122
00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:22,894
SHE WEARS THOSE STRAW HATS.

123
00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:25,330
THINKS THEY'RE COUNTRY
OR SOMETHING.

124
00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:27,232
THEY LOOK LIKE THE KIND
THEY PUT ON HORSES

125
00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:28,967
TO KEEP THE SUN OFF THEIR HEADS.

126
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:30,936
- YOU SAY SHE'S FROM MIDDLEBURY?

127
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,170
- YEAH.

128
00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:34,806
- SO WE'D BE FLYING
OUT OF THE SAME AIRPORT.

129
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:35,874
- YEAH, YEAH, JANEY.

130
00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:37,909
WHAT'S YOUR POINT?

131
00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:40,078
- HELLO, TRENT.

132
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,179
- OH.

133
00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:43,982
HELLO, AUNT BERNICE.

134
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:46,151
I LIKE YOUR HAT.

135
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,954
- [happily] TOTAL ISOLATION!

136
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:53,858
- NO PHONE, NO FAX, NO EMAIL,
NO VOICEMAIL.

137
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:57,228
NO WAY TO CONTACT
THE OUTSIDE WORLD.

138
00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:58,763
WHAT A LUXURY.

139
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:01,733
- TONIGHT WE'LL TELL SPOOKY
STORIES AROUND THE CAMPFIRE.

140
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,901
TOMORROW WE HIKE TILL WE DROP.

141
00:05:03,903 --> 00:05:06,104
- JUST LIKE WE USED TO.

142
00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:07,472
- REMEMBER?

143
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:11,509
- YOU WERE SO RELAXED
IN THOSE DAYS.

144
00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:14,446
- YOU CAN'T HIKE
IN THESE DAMN EARTH SHOES!

145
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:15,647
THEY MAKE YOU TILT!

146
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,348
- COME ON, JAKE.

147
00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:19,584
JUST DIG THE SCENE.

148
00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:21,920
- OH, ALL RIGHT.

149
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:24,121
IT IS A STONE GROOVE.

150
00:05:24,123 --> 00:05:25,590
WE'RE LUCKY WE GOT HERE

151
00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:28,125
BEFORE THE OIL COMPANIES
PAVE IT ALL OVER.

152
00:05:28,127 --> 00:05:30,095
- AND PUT UP A PARKING LOT.

153
00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:31,329
[laughter]

154
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,731
CAPITALIST VULTURES!

155
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:34,532
OFF THE FAT CATS!

156
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:38,003
- IT'S SO OUT OF SIGHT
THAT WE'RE GOING TO CAMP

157
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,472
WITH NOTHING BUT OUR TENT
AND SLEEPING BAGS.

158
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,374
- SLEEPING<i> BAG.</i>

159
00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:43,574
- [laughs]

160
00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:45,277
- WE DON'T NEED
BIG-BUSINESS ELECTRICITY.

161
00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:47,012
WE DON'T NEED
MANUFACTURED FOODS.

162
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:50,315
WE DON'T NEED CHEMICALLY
SOFTENED TOILET PAPER.

163
00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:52,250
- WE DON'T?

164
00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:00,625
- GIRLS, DOESN'T ALL THIS BEAUTY

165
00:06:00,627 --> 00:06:02,661
JUST TAKE YOU
RIGHT OUT OF YOURSELVES?

166
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,331
- DARIA?

167
00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:08,500
- I THINK I'M GETTING A CHILL.

168
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:09,767
IF YOU DON'T MIND,

169
00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:12,470
I'M GOING TO CRAWL BACK
INTO MYSELF FOR A WHILE.

170
00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:13,805
- WHAT ABOUT YOU, QUINN?

171
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:16,641
- NO PHONE?

172
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:21,479
- DO YOU SEE ANY BUSES OR TAXIS?

173
00:06:21,481 --> 00:06:24,015
- I SEE NO MASS TRANSIT
OF ANY KIND.

174
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:26,484
- WELL, WE'VE GOT NO WAY
TO GET TO THE PARTY.

175
00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:27,985
MIGHT AS WELL CATCH
A FLIGHT HOME.

176
00:06:27,987 --> 00:06:29,487
- WE GAVE IT OUR BEST SHOT.

177
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:33,391
DAMN.

178
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,961
HEY, IT'S AUNT BERNICE.

179
00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:37,329
SHE RENTED A CAR.

180
00:06:37,331 --> 00:06:39,164
- HEY, AUNT BERNICE.

181
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:42,066
[horn honks]

182
00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:51,976
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪

183
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,744
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪

184
00:06:59,153 --> 00:07:01,520
- [grunting]

185
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:02,587
[yells]

186
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,656
- WE SHOULD HAVE STARTED THIS
EARLIER.

187
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,691
- [grumbles]
YOU SOUND LIKE MY FATHER.

188
00:07:06,693 --> 00:07:07,725
- WHAT?

189
00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:10,061
- OH, HE KNEW EVERYTHING
ABOUT CAMPING.

190
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:11,896
OF COURSE, HE HAD
A DIFFERENT APPROACH.

191
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:14,533
NO TENT
FOR MAD DOG MORGENDORFFER.

192
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:16,368
OH, NO.
NO SLEEPING BAG EITHER.

193
00:07:16,370 --> 00:07:18,870
YOU LASHED SOME DAMN STICKS
TOGETHER FOR A LEAN-TO,

194
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:20,138
SLEPT ON A BED OF PINE NEEDLES,

195
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,973
AND IF IT RAINED,
WELL, TOUGH CRAP!

196
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,275
NO TENT FOR MAD DOG,

197
00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:25,043
AND NO TENT
FOR LITTLE JAKEY EITHER.

198
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:26,778
- THAT'S GOOD, HONEY.

199
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,980
YOU'RE LETTING OUT
SOME OF THAT TENSION.

200
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:32,083
- WHY COULDN'T HE JUST LOVE ME
FOR WHO I WAS?

201
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:33,385
- ALL RIGHT, JAKE.

202
00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:36,287
UM, NOW YOU'RE LETTING OUT
TOO MUCH TENSION.

203
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:39,758
- WHY DID HE THINK I WAS STILL
WETTING THE BED AT 15?

204
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,525
OH, HI, GIRLS.

205
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:47,899
- SO LET'S JUST WALK IN
AND MEET THEM HEAD-ON.

206
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:49,500
THEY'RE NOT GOING
TO INTIMIDATE US.

207
00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:50,535
- NO WAY.

208
00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:53,304
[doorbell rings]

209
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:56,874
HEY, I THINK I LEFT MY
IN-FLIGHT MAGAZINE BACK THERE.

210
00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:58,309
- WE'D BETTER GO GET IT.

211
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,645
- JANE, TRENT.

212
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:04,782
I MIGHT HAVE KNOWN YOU'D COME
LOOKING LIKE THIS.

213
00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:07,151
- THEN, LYING THERE
IN THE DARKNESS,

214
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:11,055
THE BOY HEARD
A TINY SPLASHING SOUND...

215
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:13,358
[makes splashing noises]

216
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,694
LIKE WAVES ON A FARAWAY SHORE,

217
00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:20,932
EXCEPT THE NEAREST OCEAN
WAS 100 MILES AWAY.

218
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:23,101
THE BOY REACHED OUT
FOR HIS SLEEPING FATHER,

219
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:25,003
BUT HE WAS GONE.

220
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,271
SHAKING WITH FEAR,

221
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:28,473
THE BOY STUMBLED OUT
OF THE RICKETY LEAN-TO.

222
00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:29,740
AND THAT'S WHEN HE SAW IT:

223
00:08:29,742 --> 00:08:33,678
HIS FATHER SITTING ALONE
AT THE CAMPFIRE,

224
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,680
ALONE...

225
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:39,583
WITH A WHOLE CASE OF BEER.

226
00:08:39,585 --> 00:08:42,720
[sound of cans opening]

227
00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:48,493
THE SELFISH OLD BASTARD
WAS WASTED AGAIN!

228
00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:51,997
[animals calling]

229
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:54,366
- AND HOW'S YOUR SISTER PENNY?

230
00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:56,468
- I THINK
SHE'S A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED

231
00:08:56,470 --> 00:08:57,735
IN THE MEXICAN JOB MARKET.

232
00:08:57,737 --> 00:08:59,738
SHE MAY TRY NICARAGUA NEXT.

233
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,639
- AND YOUR BROTHER WIND?

234
00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:03,274
- HE'S THINKING
ABOUT GETTING REMARRIED

235
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,977
IF HE CAN JUST FIGURE OUT
WHETHER HIS DIVORCES WERE LEGAL.

236
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:09,380
- HOW ABOUT YOUR SISTER SUMMER?

237
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,182
- YOU KNOW,
THE PRIVATE DETECTIVES

238
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:13,150
FOUND THREE
OUT OF HER FOUR KIDS.

239
00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:14,686
- REALLY?

240
00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:16,354
- "YOU'RE A VAMPIRE,"

241
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:18,089
SHE WHISPERED
TO THE PALE STRANGER

242
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:20,692
WITH THE BROODING EYES.

243
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:26,063
SHE FELT HER BOSOM FLUSH
AND HEAVE WITH EXCITEMENT.

244
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:28,332
"YOU'VE COME TO TAKE MY BLOOD."

245
00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:31,803
- "YOUR BLOOD?" HE LAUGHED.

246
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:35,072
"OH, THERE'S TIME ENOUGH
TO TAKE YOUR BLOOD.

247
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:39,377
"TONIGHT I'M GOING TO TAKE
YOUR--

248
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,813
"TAKE YOUR PULSE
AND MAKE SURE THAT, YOU KNOW,

249
00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:44,549
THE BLOOD WILL BE THERE
WHEN I COME BACK."

250
00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:46,584
[animals calling]

251
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,621
- [slurring]
I ALWAYS LIKED YOU, TRENT.

252
00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:51,823
YOU WERE MY FAVORITE.

253
00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:53,825
- AND WHY IS THAT, UNCLE MAX?

254
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:55,827
- 'CAUSE YOU'RE A BUM.

255
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,762
YOU'RE A LOUSY BUM.

256
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,664
YOU'RE A ROTTEN BUM.

257
00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:01,900
YOU REMIND ME OF MYSELF.

258
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:03,034
YOU KNOW WHY?

259
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:04,836
- 'CAUSE I'M A BUM.

260
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,037
- [laughs]

261
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:09,473
THAT'S RIGHT, YA BUM.

262
00:10:09,475 --> 00:10:10,674
- SO CINDERELLA SAID,

263
00:10:10,676 --> 00:10:12,843
"I CAN'T GO TO THE BALL
IN THESE RAGS."

264
00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:14,913
AND HER FAIRY GODMOTHER
WAVED HER WAND,

265
00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:19,083
AND, BEHOLD, SHE WAS WEARING
A GOWN OF SILVER AND GOLD--

266
00:10:19,085 --> 00:10:21,085
BIG CLUNKY SILVER
AND GOLD SEQUINS,

267
00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:22,320
LIKE YOU WOULDN'T WEAR

268
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,222
TO ONE OF THOSE '70s
NOSTALGIA PROMS,

269
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:27,258
MUCH LESS A FORMAL PARTY
AT A PALACE.

270
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:29,593
AND WHEN SHE WENT TO CHECK
HERSELF OUT IN THE MIRROR,

271
00:10:29,595 --> 00:10:31,729
THE ONE THAT USUALLY
MADE HER LOOK THIN,

272
00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:34,465
INSTEAD SHE LOOKED BLOATED.

273
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,334
- QUINN, HONEY,
IS THIS REALLY A SCARY STORY?

274
00:10:37,336 --> 00:10:38,435
- WAIT!

275
00:10:38,437 --> 00:10:40,972
I HAVEN'T GOTTEN
TO THE SHOES YET.

276
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,873
- [weakly]
JANE.

277
00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:44,608
- YES, GRANDMA?

278
00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:46,310
- COME CLOSER.

279
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,179
- YES, GRANDMA?

280
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:49,881
- CLOSER.

281
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:51,015
- YES, GRANDMA?

282
00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:53,251
- CLOSER.

283
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:55,586
- YES, GRANDMA?

284
00:10:55,588 --> 00:11:00,691
- [yells] WHAT THE HELL
IS WRONG WITH YOU?

285
00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:03,361
- SO THE WITCH TORE
HANSEL'S ARM OFF,

286
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:06,330
POPPED IT IN HER MOUTH,
SAID, "HEY, PRETTY GOOD,"

287
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:09,233
AND WITHIN MINUTES HAD DEVOURED
THE REST OF HIS BODY,

288
00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:12,937
LEAVING ONLY THE LOWER INTESTINE
FOR FEAR OF BACTERIA.

289
00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:14,839
GRETEL, SHE DECIDED
TO HOLD ON TO FOR A WHILE,

290
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:18,376
SO SHE CRAMMED HER INTO
THE FREEZER AS BEST SHE COULD.

291
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,714
- DARIA?

292
00:11:23,716 --> 00:11:25,683
- YES, QUINN.

293
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:28,620
- DO YOU FEEL WEIRD
SHARING A TENT?

294
00:11:28,622 --> 00:11:30,721
- AS LONG AS IT'S WITH YOU
AND NOT A BEAR,

295
00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:32,457
I GUESS I'M OKAY WITH IT.

296
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:34,692
- REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE LITTLE
AND WE SHARED A ROOM?

297
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,161
- YES, QUINN.

298
00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:37,828
- I HATED THAT.

299
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:39,564
- SO DID I.

300
00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:42,433
- IT'S FUN TO REMINISCE,
ISN'T IT?

301
00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:44,202
- YOU BET.

302
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,771
- JANEY?

303
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:48,039
- YEAH, TRENT?

304
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,941
- YOU FEEL WEIRD
SHARING A ROOM?

305
00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:52,510
- WE'VE DONE IT BEFORE.

306
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:55,413
- YEAH, BUT NOT REALLY
LIKE THIS.

307
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:58,616
- HEY, HOLD IT DOWN, GUYS, OKAY?

308
00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:00,018
I'M TRYING TO SLEEP.

309
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:02,320
- OW!
WATCH IT.

310
00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:03,954
- OOH, SORRY.
THOUGHT YOU WERE A PILLOW.

311
00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:05,856
- I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU.

312
00:12:05,858 --> 00:12:07,658
- WAIT, WERE YOU TALKING TO ME?

313
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:08,759
- WELL, WHO ELSE?

314
00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:10,794
OW!
WATCH IT.

315
00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:14,732
- SORRY,
THOUGHT YOU WERE A PILLOW.

316
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,502
- DARIA, QUINN, GET UP.

317
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:18,536
I NEED YOU.

318
00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:20,871
YOUR FATHER'S IN
A SICKENING MOOD.

319
00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:22,440
- ARE THEY DECENT, HELEN?

320
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:23,774
- YES, JAKE.

321
00:12:23,776 --> 00:12:25,076
- UP AND AT 'EM, LADIES.

322
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:28,379
TIME TO JOIN THE FOREST MORNING,
ALREADY IN PROGRESS.

323
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:29,980
BREAKFAST IS ON MOTHER NATURE.

324
00:12:29,982 --> 00:12:31,048
YUM.

325
00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:33,884
MEET YOU AROUND THE FIRE
IN FIVE MINUTES.

326
00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:35,486
- PLEASE, GIRLS.

327
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:38,055
I'M AFRAID I MAY HURT HIM.

328
00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:41,526
- JANEY.

329
00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:43,293
WHAT TIME IS IT?

330
00:12:43,295 --> 00:12:45,429
- HOW SHOULD I KNOW?

331
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:48,399
EVEN IF I COULD MANAGE
TO GET MY WATCH ON AT THIS HOUR,

332
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:50,902
MY EYES ARE TOO BLURRY
TO READ IT.

333
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:52,536
- IT'S 7:00, DEAR.

334
00:12:52,538 --> 00:12:54,105
WE'RE GETTING AN EARLY START,

335
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:58,209
BECAUSE TODAY'S
THE FAMILY CROQUET TOURNAMENT.

336
00:12:58,211 --> 00:13:02,847
- JANEY, IT'S 7:00
ON A SATURDAY,

337
00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:04,616
AND WE'RE AWAKE.

338
00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:08,620
- SOON THE WOODEN BALLS
WILL BE CLACKING.

339
00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:10,321
CLACK.

340
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,823
CLACK.

341
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:14,492
- WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE.

342
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:17,295
- WAS THAT BREAKFAST GREAT,
KIDDO?

343
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:20,764
- ACTUALLY, UH, I'M NOT
A BIG BERRY PERSON, DAD.

344
00:13:20,766 --> 00:13:21,932
I SORT OF DIDN'T EAT MINE.

345
00:13:21,934 --> 00:13:23,234
I'M WAITING FOR LUNCH.

346
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:24,735
- OH.

347
00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:28,639
WELL, YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE
MY ROASTED ACORNS A LA JAKE.

348
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,775
CAN YOU BELIEVE

349
00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:32,943
THE WHOLE CONTINENT
USED TO LOOK LIKE THIS?

350
00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:35,680
- IT MAKES ME YEARN
FOR THE PAST.

351
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:36,981
- LOOK AT THAT, DARIA.

352
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:38,849
A FORK IN THE TRAIL.

353
00:13:38,851 --> 00:13:42,387
IF YOU GO ONE WAY,
YOU CAN'T GO THE OTHER.

354
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,789
- THIS IS GOING TO DEPRESS ME,
ISN'T IT?

355
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:47,524
- THIS WAY OVER HERE LEADS
TO AN ENTRY-LEVEL JOB,

356
00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:49,561
A LITTLE BIT OF MONEY
IN YOUR POCKET.

357
00:13:49,563 --> 00:13:51,663
SOON YOU'RE WEARING A SUIT
AND TIE EVERY DAY,

358
00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:54,032
LIKE ALL THE OTHER
FACELESS SAPS,

359
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:57,202
LIVING IN A BORING LIVING HOUSE
IN A BLAND LITTLE TOWN

360
00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:58,869
AND DOING SO WELL,

361
00:13:58,871 --> 00:14:01,506
YOU'RE IN DEBT
UP TO YOUR DISAPPEARING HAIR.

362
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,509
THAT'S WHERE THAT TRAIL LEADS,
DARIA.

363
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:07,044
- I GUESS THAT OTHER TRAIL
IS THE ONE

364
00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:09,881
THAT LEADS TO PERSONAL
AND SPIRITUAL SATISFACTION.

365
00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:12,483
THAT'S WHY THEY DON'T WANT YOU
TO TAKE IT.

366
00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:14,652
- DAMN IT, DARIA,
YOU'RE BRILLIANT!

367
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:17,621
- WAIT.

368
00:14:17,623 --> 00:14:20,224
IT WAS A JOKE?

369
00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:22,093
[sighs]

370
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:28,466
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪

371
00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:30,301
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪

372
00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:35,773
- I WISH YOUR FATHER WOULD STAY
WHERE WE CAN SEE HIM.

373
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:38,309
- WHAT'S DAD SO WORKED UP ABOUT
ANYWAY?

374
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:41,412
- OH, QUINN, IT'S NOT EASY
BEING AN ADULT.

375
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:44,148
- HE CAN DRIVE,
HE NEVER HAS TO TAKE A POP QUIZ,

376
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,283
AND HE CAN ORDER A MIMOSA
ANY TIME HE WANTS.

377
00:14:46,285 --> 00:14:47,551
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

378
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:51,255
- HE'S--IT'S HARD FOR YOU
TO UNDERSTAND.

379
00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:53,057
YOU'RE LIKE A FRESH NEW BUD

380
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,093
JUST ON THE THRESHOLD
OF OPENING.

381
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,061
- EW!

382
00:14:57,063 --> 00:15:01,332
MOM, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TALK
ABOUT PUBERTY, ARE YOU?

383
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:04,902
- QUINN, EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK,
YOU SEE DOORS OPENING.

384
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:08,505
EVERYWHERE YOUR FATHER LOOKS,
HE SEES DOORS CLOSING,

385
00:15:08,507 --> 00:15:12,710
A LONG CORRIDOR OF DOORS
SLAMMING SHUT.

386
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:15,079
AND AT THE VERY END,
THERE'S ONE OPEN DOOR

387
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:17,548
HE MUST SOMEDAY ENTER,

388
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:21,218
AND NEVER MAY HE RETURN.

389
00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:23,187
I CAN'T GO ON.

390
00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:24,555
LEAVE ME HERE.

391
00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:26,391
- MO-OM!

392
00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:27,792
- GO ON, QUINN.

393
00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:30,328
YOU'RE SO YOUNG, SO BEAUTIFUL.

394
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:33,397
YOU SHOULD LEAD THE TRIBE
INTO THE NEW CENTURY.

395
00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:35,033
- WHAT TRIBE?

396
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:37,936
MOM, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

397
00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:41,805
- NOW, GO TELL GRAY FOX
I HAVE GIVEN MY BLESSING.

398
00:15:41,807 --> 00:15:45,076
- DARIA!

399
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:48,011
- DAD, I DON'T THINK
THIS IS A GOOD IDEA.

400
00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:50,581
- [mockingly] IT'S NOT CAUTIOUS,
IS IT, DARIA?

401
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:51,782
IT'S NOT THE SORT OF THING

402
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:54,385
A RESPONSIBLE FAMILY MAN
WOULD DO.

403
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:56,053
- ARE YOU FEELING OKAY?

404
00:15:56,055 --> 00:15:57,555
YOU LOOK KIND OF PALE.

405
00:15:57,557 --> 00:16:00,424
- MAYBE WE SHOULD GO BACK
TO CAMP, HUH?

406
00:16:00,426 --> 00:16:02,192
YOU GO BACK TO CAMP, DARIA!

407
00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:07,265
I'M GOING TO SEE WHAT--
WHO IS DOWN THIS TRAIL.

408
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:09,533
YOU HEAR THAT, OLD MAN?

409
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:11,435
I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS
TO ME, DARIA.

410
00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:13,771
I'M PAST FEELING PAIN.

411
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,239
GAH! AH!

412
00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:16,607
DAMN IT!

413
00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:19,043
- DARIA!

414
00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:20,044
- COME ON, DAD.

415
00:16:20,046 --> 00:16:21,446
QUINN NEEDS US.

416
00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:24,281
- I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET,
OLD MAN.

417
00:16:27,086 --> 00:16:30,087
- QUINN, WHAT'S WRONG WITH MOM?

418
00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:33,691
- SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT BUDS
AND DOORS AND STUFF,

419
00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,759
AND THEN SHE TOLD ME
TO LEAD THE TRIBE,

420
00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:37,561
AND SHE FELL ASLEEP.

421
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:38,962
- HELEN?

422
00:16:38,964 --> 00:16:40,631
- WHA--

423
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:44,335
OH, JAKE, HONEY, YOU HAD US
A LITTLE WORRIED.

424
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,637
- YOU HAD US WORRIED, MOM.

425
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:49,841
- THAT'S FUNNY; I DON'T REMEMBER
BEING WORRIED ABOUT ANYONE.

426
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:53,344
- QUINN SAID YOU WERE TALKING
ABOUT SOME KIND OF TRIBE?

427
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:57,248
- NO, HONEY, THE TIDE.

428
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,816
I WAS SAYING
WE OUGHT TO SET SAIL

429
00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:00,751
WHILE THE TIDE'S STILL HIGH.

430
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:01,885
- DAD?

431
00:17:01,887 --> 00:17:04,455
- [laughs]
OH, DON'T WORRY, SWEETIE.

432
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:05,823
YOUR MOM SOUNDS
A LITTLE NUTTY,

433
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,492
BUT SHE'S MAKING PERFECT SENSE.

434
00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:09,427
- SHE IS?
- SURE.

435
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,262
IF WE TRIED TO SAIL
AT LOW TIDE AND RAN AGROUND,

436
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:13,564
WE'D BE SITTING DUCKS
FOR CAPTAIN CUTLASS'S MEN.

437
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:15,065
[laughs]

438
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:17,001
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,
BUT I DON'T WANT

439
00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:19,136
TO BE SKINNED ALIVE
AND THROWN TO THE SHARKS.

440
00:17:19,138 --> 00:17:20,537
RIGHT, GIRLS?

441
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,240
COME ON; LET'S GO GATHER
SOME PROVISIONS.

442
00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:26,076
[Helen and Jake laughing]

443
00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:29,280
- THIS IS REALLY SCARY, DARIA.

444
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:31,516
- ALL RIGHT,
LET'S NOT GET PANICKED.

445
00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:33,150
WE'RE GOING TO LOOK
AT THE SITUATION

446
00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:35,052
CALMLY AND OBJECTIVELY.

447
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,186
AGREED?

448
00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:37,388
- OKAY.

449
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:38,823
- WE'RE OUT
IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.

450
00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:40,258
NOBODY KNOWS WE'RE HERE.

451
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:41,825
WE HAVE NO WAY
TO CONTACT ANYONE.

452
00:17:41,827 --> 00:17:43,594
AND OUR PARENTS
HAVE GONE INSANE.

453
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:44,795
- YES.

454
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:47,598
- THIS IS REALLY SCARY, QUINN.

455
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,867
- BUT WHY DID THEY GO INSANE?

456
00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:52,636
- KNOWING DAD AND HIS
EXCELLENT WOODLAND SKILLS,

457
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:54,872
I'D SAY IT WAS THE BERRIES,
EXCEPT--

458
00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:56,507
- IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN
THE BERRIES.

459
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:57,808
- THAT'S WHAT I THINK,

460
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,644
BECAUSE YOU ATE THE BERRIES TOO,
AND YOU SEEM OKAY.

461
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:01,945
- NO, I MEANT

462
00:18:01,947 --> 00:18:04,315
BECAUSE THOSE WEREN'T
THE GLITTERBERRIES.

463
00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:05,816
- GLITTERBERRIES?

464
00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:08,386
- YOU KNOW, THE GLITTERBERRIES,

465
00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:12,523
THE ONES THAT FILL YOUR MOUTH
WITH BEAUTIFUL SPARKLING GLITTER

466
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:14,325
WHEN YOU BITE INTO THEM.

467
00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:17,795
THOSE ARE THE ONES
THAT MAKE YOU ACT WEIRD--

468
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,863
I MEAN, UNTIL YOU SPREAD
YOUR SHIMMERING WINGS

469
00:18:19,865 --> 00:18:21,499
AND FLY AWAY.

470
00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:22,767
- UH-OH.

471
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,635
- DARIA, YOU DON'T HAVE
A MIRROR, DO YOU?

472
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,170
I WANT TO CHECK MY MAKE UP.

473
00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:28,405
- YOU'RE NOT WEARING ANY MAKEUP.

474
00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:29,874
- I'M NOT?

475
00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:31,875
OH, NO.

476
00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:34,712
- QUINN, MAYBE YOU BETTER
TAKE IT EASY FOR A WHILE.

477
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:36,180
- SPIRIT ANIMAL!

478
00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:38,516
COME BACK, SPIRIT ANIMAL!

479
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:42,587
- GIRLS, HAVE YOU SEEN
YOUR FATHER'S SPIRIT ANIMAL?

480
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,589
HE WAS JUST TELLING IT
ABOUT HIS CHILDHOOD

481
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:47,258
WHEN IT JUMPED UP
AND SCAMPERED OFF.

482
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:48,259
- SCAMPERED?

483
00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:49,627
- WHAT DID IT LOOK LIKE, MOM?

484
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,095
- OH, YOU KNOW.

485
00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:53,063
YELLOW WITH STRIPES ON THE BACK,

486
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:55,866
POWERFUL HIND LEGS,

487
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:57,702
THREE HORNS UP HERE--

488
00:18:57,704 --> 00:19:01,071
- COME ON;
I SAW WHERE IT WENT.

489
00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:03,508
- OKAY, REMAIN CALM.

490
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,075
FAMILY'S GONE MAD.

491
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:07,378
MUST GET THEM BACK
TO CIVILIZATION.

492
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:08,879
BUT NO WAY TO CONTACT
CIVILIZATION,

493
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:10,481
BECAUSE MOTHER MADE BIG DEAL

494
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,617
ABOUT CUTTING OFF
ALL COMMUNICATION.

495
00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:13,951
WHAT TO DO.

496
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:17,555
[cell phone ringing]

497
00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:21,292
RELY ON MOTHER'S HYPOCRISY
TO SEE US THROUGH THIS CRISIS.

498
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,194
- HELEN.

499
00:19:24,196 --> 00:19:26,397
HAVE YOU GOT A FEW MINUTES
TO GO OVER THESE DEPOSITIONS?

500
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:29,767
- THERE HE IS,
BEHIND THAT PACK OF ZEBRAS!

501
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,672
- SHE'LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK.

502
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:39,777
HELLO?
911?

503
00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:43,413
- [Jake laughing]

504
00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:48,318
I LOVE CAMPING.

505
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:49,987
I LOVE IT!

506
00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:52,256
HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY PANTS?

507
00:19:52,258 --> 00:19:54,592
[telephone line rings]

508
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:55,793
- YO.

509
00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:57,461
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOME?

510
00:19:57,463 --> 00:19:58,695
- WHAT ARE YOU?

511
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:00,097
- AH, MY FAMILY WENT CRAZY

512
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:01,832
FROM EATING
PSYCHOTROPIC BERRIES,

513
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,734
SO WE WERE EVACUATED
FROM THE WOODS,

514
00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:05,269
AND THEY HAD
THEIR STOMACHS PUMPED.

515
00:20:05,271 --> 00:20:07,004
- WOW, THAT'S COOL.

516
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:09,173
MY FAMILY WAS ALREADY CRAZY
WITHOUT ANY BERRIES,

517
00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:11,909
SO TRENT AND I EVACUATED
OURSELVES TO THE AIRPORT

518
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,611
IN MY AUNT'S RENTAL CAR

519
00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:16,246
AND FLEW THE HELL OUT OF THERE.

520
00:20:16,248 --> 00:20:18,649
- OH, WELL, ANYTHING ELSE NEW?

521
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:21,051
- NAH.
YOU?

522
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,220
- NAH.

523
00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:26,490
MAIL'S HERE.

524
00:20:26,492 --> 00:20:28,826
- THANKS, KIDDO.

525
00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:32,429
- NOW, YOU CLAIM THAT NOT ONLY
DID YOU SEE A YETI

526
00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:34,131
BUT HE WAS WEARING
A BUSINESS SUIT

527
00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:36,367
AND CARRYING AN ATTACHE CASE.

528
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:38,201
- A LEATHER ATTACHE CASE.

529
00:20:38,203 --> 00:20:41,639
- $15,000
FOR A HELICOPTER RIDE?

530
00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:45,042
WHAT THE HELL DO THEY THINK--
AH! AH!

531
00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:47,678
OH, MY GOD.

532
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,513
- MOM, GET THE PAINKILLERS.

533
00:20:49,515 --> 00:20:52,349
QUINN, GET THE CAMERA.

534
00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:55,186
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪

535
00:20:55,188 --> 00:21:03,127
♪ ♪

536
00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:09,199
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪

537
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:12,636
♪ ♪

538
00:21:12,638 --> 00:21:14,204
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪

539
00:21:14,206 --> 00:21:17,541
♪ ♪

540
00:21:17,543 --> 00:21:19,276
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪

541
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:29,153
♪ ♪

542
00:21:29,155 --> 00:21:32,188
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪

543
00:21:32,190 --> 00:21:35,125
Captioning by<font color="#00ff00"> CaptionMax</font>
www.captionmax.com