- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
- NOW, AS I'M HANDING BACK YOUR ESSAYS,
YOU MAY HAVE STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT THE COMPETITIVE
AND DISCOURAGING ASPECTS OF GRADING.
I CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY.
WHO WOULD LIKE TO START?
- IS AN F-PLUS THE SAME AS A D-MINUS?
- I DON'T BELIEVE I'VE EVER HEARD OF AN F-PLUS, JORDAN,
BUT WE COULD TALK ABOUT IT.
- SO SHE SAID,
"I GOT THOSE EGGSHELL LEGGINGS LIKE YOU TOLD ME."
AND I SAID, "EGGSHELL?
I TOLD YOU EGGPLANT."
- YOU'RE KIDDING.
[laughter]
- QUINN,
WAS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANTED TO SAY?
- UM...I DIDN'T GET MY ESSAY BACK.
[school bell rings]
- THAT'S TRUE, QUINN.
I'M AFRAID I'LL NEED TO SEE YOU AFTER CLASS.
- I'LL SAVE YOU A PLACE AT THE MIRROR.
- QUINN, I'M SO SORRY,
BUT WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR PERFORMANCE.
- OKAY, BUT I'M KIND OF IN A RUSH TODAY.
- LET'S GO OVER OUR LAST ASSIGNMENT:
"HOW I FEEL ABOUT POLYCULTURALISM."
YOU WROTE, "I DEFINITELY PREFER ALL-COTTON."
- I DIDN'T COPY IT, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN.
- NO, NO, I BELIEVE YOU.
THE THING IS--
NOW, I DON'T WANT TO PANIC OR UPSET YOU.
PLEASE, TAKE THIS IN A CONSTRUCTIVE SPIRIT,
BUT I'M AFRAID YOU'RE NOT DOING WELL IN LANGUAGE ARTS.
- OKAY, SEE YOU TOMORROW.
- I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND.
YOU'RE GOING TO NEED AN "A" ON YOUR NEXT ESSAY
TO MAINTAIN A PASSING GRADE.
- YOU MEAN "PASSING" AS IN PASSING OR FAILING?
- YES, BUT DON'T WORRY.
ALL IT WILL TAKE IS SOME COMMITMENT, DEDICATION,
AND HARD WORK.
- OH, NO!
- YOU CAN DO IT, QUINN.
YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL,
I WANTED MORE THAN ANYTHING TO BE ON THE GYMNASTICS TEAM,
BUT I JUST COULDN'T MASTER THE HIGH BAR,
SO I PRACTICED EVERY DAY--
- AND THE BIG TRYOUT CAME, AND YOU MADE THE TEAM.
- WELL, NO.
BUT THAT WINTER, I LEARNED HOW TO WRITE
HOLDING A PENCIL IN MY TEETH.
- QUINN, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?
I PUT IN ANOTHER 12-HOUR DAY,
AND THE FIRST THING I SEE WHEN I GET HOME--
- [snoring]
- JAKE! - HUH? I'M UP!
- WHERE ARE THE GIRLS?
- THEY WERE HERE BEFORE, I THINK.
- I'M VERY UPSET ABOUT THIS.
- OH, YEAH, I KNOW.
SEE, I WAS TRYING TO CALL THE NUMBER FOR MOVIEFONE,
AND OUT OF NOWHERE, THIS WOMAN COMES ON THE LINE--
- JAKE, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- THAT'S NOT THE PHONE BILL.
I--WHAT IS THAT?
- IT'S A LETTER FROM QUINN'S TEACHER.
SHE'S GOING TO FAIL ENGLISH
BECAUSE SHE'S NOT PUTTING IN ANY EFFORT.
I'M GOING UP TO TALK TO HER.
- WAIT A MINUTE.
WHY CAN'T I EVER BE THE ONE TO TALK TO THE GIRLS?
- HONEY, IT'S NOT THAT YOU CAN'T.
IT'S JUST A STRONG PARENTING TEAM
IS LIKE A SINGING GROUP.
THE LEAD SINGER CARRIES THE TUNE,
AND THE BACKUP SINGERS SUPPORT HER.
THAT'S YOU.
- BUT WHAT DO THE BACKUP SINGERS DO?
- YOU CHIME IN AT JUST THE RIGHT MOMENT,
AND THEN YOU FADE INTO THE BACKGROUND.
DOESN'T THAT MAKE SENSE?
- DO I GET A TAMBOURINE OR SOMETHING?
- MOM, CAN I BORROW--
UM, I'M JUST GONNA RUN DOWN TO THE ANIMAL SHELTER
AND SEE ABOUT VOLUNTEERING.
I HEARD THEY GOT IN A NEW BUNCH OF SICK BIRDS.
- QUINN, THIS NOTE CAME FROM SCHOOL.
- DON'T WORRY.
ALL I HAVE TO DO IS GET, LIKE, AN "A" ON MY NEXT ESSAY,
AND I'M FINE.
- I'LL TAKE THE VEGAS ODDS ON THAT ONE.
- DARIA, WE NEED TO BE ENCOURAGING.
SIT DOWN, QUINN.
HONEY, THIS ISN'T JUST ABOUT ONE ESSAY.
IT'S ABOUT SETTING GOALS IN LIFE AND GOING AFTER THEM.
YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL,
I WANTED MORE THAN ANYTHING TO JOIN THE SWIM TEAM--
- NO! NO!
PLEASE, NOT AGAIN.
- HUH?
- MOM, IF YOU'RE GONNA REMINISCE,
I'M AFRAID I'LL BE FORCED TO CALL SOCIAL SERVICES.
- ALL RIGHT, QUINN.
LET ME TRY TO PUT IT ANOTHER WAY.
NO MATTER WHAT YOU DECIDE TO DO IN LIFE,
A SOLID EDUCATION--
- YOU GAVE THIS TALK WHEN I GOT CAUGHT CUTTING MY--
WHEN I FORGOT WHERE MY MATH CLASS WAS.
- HELEN, LET ME.
HONEY, DID YOU EVER HEAR THE TALE OF THE ANT
AND THE GRASSHOPPER?
- EW!
BUGS?
- TRY IMAGINING IT THIS WAY, QUINN.
- YOU COULD BE LEFT BACK AND BE THE OLDEST FRESHMAN
IN LAWNDALE HIGH.
- YOU KNOW WHAT? I GOT TO GET TO WORK. BYE.
- THAT'S MY GIRL.
- YOU SEE HOW IT'S DONE?
- DARIA? ARE YOU IN THERE?
- NO, I'M TAKING IT EASY IN TAHITI FOR A FEW DAYS.
[door creaks open]
HANG ON.
I'M JUST ORDERING ANOTHER TRAY OF COCONUT DAIQUIRIS.
- UM, I WAS WONDERING IF--
- I DON'T THINK SO.
- I JUST NEED A LITTLE HELP WITH MY ESSAY.
LIKE, COULD YOU WRITE IT FOR ME?
- AND WHAT'S MY MOTIVATION AGAIN?
- COME ON, DARIA. WE'RE SISTERS.
WE'VE GOT TO STICK TOGETHER.
- UNLESS WE'RE IN PUBLIC, YOU MEAN.
- BUT YOU'RE SO SMART.
AND THIS ESSAY IS SO IMPORTANT.
BELIEVE ME, I WOULD DO IT MYSELF,
BUT I HAVE A DATE.
- OH, THAT'S DIFFERENT.
WHEN DOES THE SUBJECT OF COMPENSATION COME UP?
- $10? - $20.
- $15. - DONE.
- THANKS, DARIA.
THIS IS GONNA WORK OUT FOR BOTH OF US.
I MEAN, I GET MY ESSAY WRITTEN,
AND FOR ONCE, YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO DO ON FRIDAY NIGHT
INSTEAD OF SITTING AROUND LIKE A LOSER, YOU KNOW?
- THAT'S IT, SHAKESPEARE.
DO YOUR OWN DAMN HOMEWORK.
[doorbell rings]
- UM, IS THIS QUINN'S HOUSE?
- SOMEONE BY THAT NAME DOES LIVE HERE.
- COOL.
- SHE'S UPSTAIRS DOING SCHOOLWORK.
- I GOT TO PAY MORE ATTENTION WHEN I GET THESE ADDRESSES.
- COREY?
I JUST CAME DOWN TO SAY I CAN'T SEE YOU TONIGHT.
I HAVE TO WRITE AN ESSAY.
- [laughs] GOOD ONE.
COME ON.
I GOT A SPECIAL EVENING PLANNED.
LET'S GO BEFORE THERE'S A LINE AT THE DRIVE-THROUGH.
- NO, REALLY, COREY.
I HAVE WORK TO DO, AND YOU HAVE TO LEAVE.
SORRY.
- QUINN, WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?
- DID YOU JUST SPEND TWO HOURS DRESSING UP TO GO TO THE DOOR
FOR ONE MINUTE AND DUMP YOUR DATE?
- DARIA, IF YOU LOOK YOUR BEST WHEN YOU BLOW A GUY OFF,
IT MAKES HIM FEEL LIKE YOU CARE.
- WELL, THAT ADVICE SHOULD PROVE VERY HELPFUL.
SOMETIMES YOUR SHALLOWNESS IS SO THOROUGH,
IT'S ALMOST LIKE DEPTH.
- THANKS.
ALL RIGHT, $20.
- NOPE. - FINE!
I HOPE YOU REALIZE YOU'RE MAKING ME DO MY OWN HOMEWORK.
- THAT IS A SCARY THOUGHT.
[school bell rings]
- I HAVE A SPECIAL SURPRISE, EVERYONE.
ONE OF OUR STUDENTS HAS SO IMPROVED
SINCE LAST WEEK'S ESSAY,
I'M GONNA SHARE HER WORK WITH THE CLASS.
- I REALLY LIKE THOSE LEGGINGS.
- YEAH, BUT NOW I HAVE A SHOE THING.
STRAPPIES?
- PLATFORM JELLIES.
- QUINN, YOU'RE SO SMART.
- ONLY ABOUT IMPORTANT STUFF.
- QUINN.
- UM, I DIDN'T GET MY PAPER BACK.
- THAT'S RIGHT, QUINN,
BECAUSE I'M GOING TO READ IT ALOUD.
- OH, NO.
- "ACADEMIC IMPRISONMENT,"
BY QUINN MORGENDORFFER.
"SO GO AHEAD,
"LOCK ME UP WITH YOUR HOMEWORK AND YOUR TESTS.
"ROB MY FREEDOM WITH YOUR READING AND YOUR THINKING.
"AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,
"THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SCHOOL AND PRISON
"IS THE WARDROBE,
"OR DO YOU WANT TO TAKE AWAY MY OUTFITS TOO?
THE END."
WOW.
WOULD ANYONE LIKE TO SHARE THEIR REACTION?
- MAY I PLEASE CHANGE SCHOOLS?
- THERE.
NOW IT'S ON FULL DISPLAY.
- QUITE THE DOOR OF ACHIEVEMENT.
- COME ON, KIDDO.
YOU WANT TO ENCOURAGE YOUR SISTER, DON'T YOU?
- TO GET HER OWN PLACE, YEAH.
- HEY, IT'S MY DAUGHTER, THE GENIUS.
- OUR OWN ACADEMIC ACHIEVER.
- WE'RE ALL SO PROUD OF YOU.
AREN'T WE, DARIA?
- SURE.
IF YOU MEAN "PROUD" AS IN STUNNED.
- MOM, DAD, MAKING YOU HAPPY
IS THE GREATEST REWARD I COULD ASK FOR.
OF COURSE, WHEN OTHER KIDS GET A GOOD GRADE,
THEY SOMETIMES GET, LIKE, A LITTLE PRESENT.
- NOW, QUINN, I REALLY THINK--
- I'LL HANDLE THIS.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, SWEETHEART.
YOU GOT AN "A." YOU SHOULD BE REWARDED.
HERE YOU GO.
- THANKS, DAD.
- WAIT, ISN'T THAT A DOUBLE STANDARD?
- HUH?
- YOU JUST GAVE HER A $20 FOR GETTING ONE "A."
WHAT ABOUT ALL THE "A"s I GET FOR FREE?
- YEAH, BUT THIS IS A SPECIAL OCCASION,
SO QUINN GETS A SPECIAL REWARD.
IT'S A MOTIVATIONAL THING.
- BUT WON'T THAT DEMOTIVATE YOUR OTHER DAUGHTER
WHOSE WORK IS CONSISTENTLY GOOD?
- YES, JAKE.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THIS?
- I WASN'T FINISHED.
DARIA SHOULD HAVE A CONSISTENT REWARD
FOR HER CONSISTENTLY GOOD WORK.
- HEY!
- AND QUINN SHOULD HAVE A SPECIAL ONE-TIME REWARD
FOR HER ONE-TIME EFFORT.
- BUT WHAT ABOUT A HIGHER REWARD
FOR MAINTAINING A STANDARD OF EXCELLENCE OVER TIME?
PERHAPS WITH COMPOUND INTEREST?
- HERE, JUST TAKE IT.
HELEN, I TOLD YOU I WAS NO GOOD AT THIS PARENTING CRAP.
- HEY, QUINN, YOU'RE FAMOUS.
- OH, YOU GUYS.
I'M JUST REALLY POPULAR.
- HE'S TALKING ABOUT YOUR ESSAY IN THE LAWNDALE LOWDOWN.
- THE SCHOOL PAPER?
- IT'S IN THE SMART THOUGHTS COLUMN.
- I'M RUINED.
- "ACADEMIC IMPRISONMENT," BY QUINN MORGENDORFFER.
- IT'S GREAT, ISN'T IT?
- "NO LIGHT SHINES THROUGH THESE FOUR BRICK WALLS.
"FOR THE SCHOOL IS MY PRISON
AND ITS TEACHERS, MY IMPRISONERS."
- I'LL BET YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THE WORD "IMPRISONERS" EXISTED.
- YEAH, BUT NOW I CAN'T WAIT TO USE IT.
WHY EXACTLY IS THIS GREAT?
- BECAUSE NOW QUINN'S GOING TO SEE FIRSTHAND
WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE A BRAIN.
- LISTEN TO THIS:
"LIKE A HAMSTER ON ONE OF THOSE WHEEL THINGS,
"SCHOOL RUNS US AROUND AND AROUND
"UNTIL WE YEARN FOR THE LITTLE FOOD PELLET.
BUT ONLY MORE HOMEWORK AWAITS."
YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE SHE READ MY MIND.
- RIGHT AFTER YOU SUFFERED A SEVERE BLOW TO THE HEAD.
- COULD YOU PUT THAT AWAY?
THEY'RE EVERYWHERE.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
BOMB SCARE AT YOUR TABLE?
- KEEP IT DOWN, OKAY?
I'M TRYING TO KEEP A LOW PROFILE SINCE THE PAPER CAME OUT.
- LUCKY FOR YOU THE PULITZER COMMITTEE
ALREADY FINISHED EATING.
- THEY HAD THE MEATLOAF. - HA.
- YOU MUST BE VERY EXCITED
ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE CALLING YOU.
- WHAT? - BRAINS MORGENDORFFER.
- COME ON. BECAUSE OF ONE LITTLE ESSAY?
- IT'S A SLIPPERY SLOPE.
BEHOLD THE FUTURE.
- [splutters]
[laughter]
- EW.
- LAST WEEK, THEY WERE TRYING OUT FOR FOOTBALL.
THEN THEY WON ONE DEBATE TOURNAMENT.
- WHAT AM I GONNA DO? I CAN'T BE A BRAIN.
MY FRIENDS WILL HATE ME.
- YES, BUT JUST THINK OF ALL THE NEW FRIENDS YOU'LL MAKE
IN CHESS CLUB.
- MAYBE I CAN STEAL ALL THE NEWSPAPERS
BEFORE ANYONE ELSE READS THEM.
- HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, BRAINS.
YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE LUNCH THIS PERIOD, DO YOU?
- OF COURSE NOT.
I CUT SCIENCE TO TALK TO YOU.
YOU THINK I'D SIT WITH YOU WHILE MY GRADE IS AT LUNCH?
- ABOUT THAT BEING MISTAKEN FOR A BRAIN THING.
I WOULDN'T WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT IT.
[school bell rings]
- WHY DO YOU HAVE TO STUDY DURING STUDY HALL ANYWAY?
- QUINN'S TUTORING ME IN ENGLISH
SO I CAN STAY ON THE FOOTBALL TEAM.
MR. O'NEILL SET IT UP.
- KEVIE, I COULD TUTOR YOU.
I SPEAK ENGLISH TOO, YOU KNOW.
- BABE, I'VE GOT A PLAN.
- I'LL BET YOU DO, YOU-- YOU HIGH SCHOOL CASA BLANCA.
- NO, BABE. I'M DOING THIS FOR US.
I'M GONNA, LIKE, OBSERVE THE WAY A BRAIN ACTS,
AND THEN WE COULD ACT THAT WAY AND BE COOL TOO.
- OH, KEVIE. YOU'RE SO SMART.
YOU'RE ALREADY A BRAIN IN MY EYES.
- THANKS, BABE.
- ONLY QUINN COULD TURN BEING SMART INTO A FAD.
- DON'T WORRY. TODAY IT'S BRAINS.
TOMORROW, PIERCED TONGUES.
THEN THE NEXT DAY, PIERCED BRAINS.
- WELL, IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S GONNA GET HER ANYWHERE.
- SO THEN MR. O'NEILL SAID
I COULD SKIP THE REST OF HIS CLASS
AND GO TO LUNCH EARLY
BECAUSE I WAS CATCHING ON SO FAST.
ISN'T THAT GREAT?
- YOU ASKED TO SEE ME.
- DARIA, YOU KNOW I'M A BIG, BIG FAN OF YOUR WRITING,
BUT LATELY, IT'S SEEMED KIND OF--I DON'T KNOW--FLAT.
I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE JAZZY.
- YOU WANT ME TO PUT IN A DRUM SOLO?
- I WAS WONDERING HOW YOU'D FEEL ABOUT SOME ONE-ON-ONE TUTORING?
SORT OF A MINI WRITING WORKSHOP.
THERE'S SOMEBODY I WANT YOU TO MEET.
SHE SHOULD BE HERE ANY--
- HI, YOU WANTED ME TO HELP...SOMEBODY.
- DO YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER?
- I SHOULD HAVE SAID,
"I DON'T NEED TUTORING TO WRITE LIKE HER,
JUST SOME BIG CRAYONS."
- TOUGH DAY.
- I'M NOT LETTING IT GET TO ME.
- YEAH, I CAN SEE THAT.
- LOOK, EVERYONE.
I WROTE ANOTHER POEM WHILE I WAS EATING MY FRIES.
- HEY. - MY TURN TO READ.
"THE GREASY FRY, IT CANNOT LIE.
ITS TRUTH IS WRITTEN ON YOUR THIGH."
- WOW.
QUINN, THAT'S AMAZING.
- BEAUTIFUL.
- GENIUS.
- I KNOW.
- HOLD IT.
I THINK I FEEL A POEM COMING ON.
[belches]
SORRY, FALSE ALARM.
- YEAH, I MIGHT DO WRITING FOR A CAREER.
IT'S NOT, LIKE, REAL WORK OR ANYTHING.
- REALLY.
[chuckles]
I MEAN, HOW HARD IS IT TO TYPE STUFF?
- AND THERE ARE LOTS OF OPPORTUNITIES.
LIKE, DID YOU KNOW THEY PAY MONEY FOR THOSE POEMS
INSIDE GREETING CARDS?
- OH, NO.
I'VE BEEN GIVING MY POEMS AWAY FOR FREE.
- DO ME A FAVOR, WILL YOU?
- YEAH?
- CLOSE MY LOCKER.
[percussive new age music]
- DID A MIME CRAWL IN HERE AND DIE?
- I'M PUTTING TOGETHER AN OUTFIT.
FOR YOUR INFORMATION, THIS IS HOW DEEP PEOPLE DRESS.
- YEAH, DEEPLY AFFECTED PEOPLE.
- THANK YOU.
BY THE WAY, DO YOU KNOW WHAT "EXISTENTIAL" MEANS?
BECAUSE TODAY SOMEONE TOLD ME MY WRITING WAS EXISTENTIAL,
SO I THOUGHT I SHOULD COORDINATE,
YOU KNOW, WITH WARDROBE.
- YEAH, THAT'S WHAT CAMUS WOULD HAVE DONE.
FOR YOUR PURPOSES,
"EXISTENTIAL" MEANS PSEUDO INTELLECTUAL POSEUR
WITH ACCESSORIES FROM THE STREET FAIR.
- LISTEN, I'M STILL AVAILABLE
IF YOU WANT HELP WITH YOUR WRITING.
DOES THIS BLACK MATCH?
- MATCHES MY MOOD.
- COULD A RENEGADE SURGEON
TRANSPLANT YOUR BRAIN WHILE YOU SLEEP?
THE FRIGHTENING TRUTH NEXT ON SICK, SAD WORLD.
- IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU, DARIA?
- [muffled] NO.
- YOU KNOW, IT'S ALL RIGHT TO HAVE A HEART-TO-HEART WITH DAD.
[laughs] I'VE BEEN KNOWN
TO DO A BIT OF THE OLD PARENTING IN MY TIME.
- IT'S OKAY.
- WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?
I'M UP ON THE ISSUES: DRUGS, PEER PRESSURE.
IS IT A PROBLEM WITH YOUR GANG?
- IT'S MORE OF A PERSONAL ISSUE.
- IT'S NOT HYGIENE OR ANYTHING?
- DAD, LET'S SAY YOU HAVE AN IDENTITY YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE.
- OH, SURE.
LIKE, ONE DAY YOU WAKE UP MIDDLE-AGED
AND RESENTING THE HELL OUT OF IT.
- UM, OKAY.
BUT EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T LIKE THIS IDENTITY,
SOMEBODY SUDDENLY COMES ALONG AND STEALS IT FROM YOU.
- AND YOU'RE UPSET.
YOU'VE EARNED THAT RESENTMENT. IT'S YOUR RIGHT.
- WELL, IT'S MORE LIKE YOU DIDN'T WANT THIS IDENTITY,
BUT IF THEY TAKE IT AWAY, YOU'VE GOT NOTHING.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
- THEY TOOK YOUR IDENTITY, DARIA?
THEN YOU WALK AWAY. YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME.
MOVE TO ANOTHER STATE. GET SOME I.D.
IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO START OVER, DARIA.
IT'S NOT TOO LATE! YOU'RE STILL A YOUNG MAN.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIVE WITH YOUR MISTAKES.
GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!
- UM, YOU'RE NOT GONNA SHAKE ME, ARE YOU?
- WHAT I MEANT WAS, YOU HANG IN THERE,
AND EVERYTHING'S GONNA WORK OUT.
- YOU KNOW, DAD?
TALKING TO YOU HAS ACTUALLY MADE ME
FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF.
- THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR, KIDDO.
BACKUP SINGER, HA.
- YEAH, I JUST FOUND OUT POEMS DON'T EVEN HAVE TO RHYME.
HOW EASY IS THAT?
- WHOA. - WOW.
- THAT'S CRAZY. - THAT'S GREAT.
- SHE'S SO SMART.
[suspenseful music]
- THERE'S A PROBLEM, QUINN.
WE NEED TO TALK.
- WHAT PROBLEM?
- IT SEEMS THAT OTHER GIRLS ARE FOLLOWING YOUR WEIRDO EXAMPLE
AND ABANDONING THEIR FASHION STATEMENTS
TO WEAR ALL BLACK.
- DRESSING IN BLACK IS A FASHION STATEMENT.
IT'S DEEP. IT'S MEANINGFUL.
AND IT'S SLENDERIZING.
- NOT ACCORDING TO THIS.
EVERYONE KNOWS THAT EGGPLANT IS THE CURRENT NEUTRAL.
- WELL, I CAN'T HELP IT IF I HAVE INFLUENCE AROUND HERE.
PEOPLE ADMIRE ME FOR MY BRAINS.
- THAT'S NOT HOW THE FASHION CLUB WORKS.
YOU'RE OFFICIALLY ORDERED TO TAKE A FASHION SABBATICAL
UNTIL YOU GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT.
I'M CONCERNED ABOUT QUINN.
WE NEED SOMEONE CLOSE TO HER
TO MAKE HER SEE THE ERROR OF HER WAYS.
- BUT WHO?
- I HAVE A PLAN.
WE'LL TALK TO THAT GIRL SHE KNOWS.
- YOU'RE SO SMART, SANDI.
- AND YOU'LL NOTICE
I DON'T MAKE, LIKE, A BIG THING ABOUT IT.
- BUT THAT GIRL IS SO WEIRD.
SHE FREAKS ME OUT.
- THAT'S WHY I'M PRESIDENT OF THE FASHION CLUB.
I'LL HANDLE HER.
UH, UM, UH.
ER.
- WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT WAS ABOUT?
- I SUPPOSE WE'LL NEVER KNOW.
- JANE, LOOK CAREFULLY.
HAVE I GROWN ANOTHER HEAD?
- HMM.
NO, JUST THE TWO.
- SEE YOU.
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER?
- NOTHING.
- ANYTHING A LITTLE BRAINPOWER COULD FIX?
- I THINK SHE'S HAD ABOUT HER FILL OF THAT.
- CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?
- I GUESS. WHAT?
- YOU DON'T THINK I'M A BRAIN, DO YOU?
- THE THOUGHT NEVER CROSSED MY MIND.
- MINE EITHER.
I MEAN, I REALLY LIKE THE WAY THIS IS GETTING TO DARIA,
BUT I'M STARTING TO FEEL LIKE A PHONY.
- YOU'RE STARTING TO FEEL LIKE A PHONY?
- SO I WROTE A STUPID ESSAY.
WHAT'S EVERYONE MAKING SUCH A BIG DEAL ABOUT?
- WELL, YOU KNOW, CONDITION PEOPLE TO EXPECT NOTHING,
AND THE LEAST LITTLE SOMETHING GETS THEM ALL EXCITED.
ASK PAVLOV.
- THE CUSTODIAN?
- WHOA. NEVER MIND.
RETURN TO YOUR WORLD, AND I'LL RETURN TO MINE.
- HMM.
BY THE WAY, ANYTHING EATING AWAY AT YOUR SOUL?
- HER WRITING IS BAD.
DON'T PEOPLE KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOOD AND BAD?
- SHE'S CUTE.
THERE ARE DIFFERENT STANDARDS FOR CUTE PEOPLE.
- YOU MEAN, NO STANDARDS. - RIGHT.
- ISN'T THERE ANY TIME WHEN HOW YOU LOOK
DOESN'T AFFECT HOW YOU'RE JUDGED?
- WHEN YOU DONATE AN ORGAN, UNLESS IT'S YOUR EYES.
LISTEN, IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
- THE THING IS, IF SHE'S A BRAIN,
WHAT DO I GET TO BE?
- YOU'RE STILL A BRAIN.
- YEAH, BUT SHE'S A BRAIN WITH BOUNCY HAIR.
I CAN'T COMPETE.
- OKAY, THEN YOU GET TO BE A SUPER BRAIN,
AN EVEN BIGGER OUTCAST THAN BEFORE.
- I DON'T THINK I CAN SURVIVE BEING A SUPER BRAIN.
- THEN SHE'S GOT TO BE STOPPED.
BUT HOW?
- OH, I KNOW HOW.
I JUST HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO BRING MYSELF TO DO IT TILL NOW.
[school bell rings]
YES?
[nervous clamoring]
- WAIT.
- NO, IT'S A MISTAKE. WE THOUGHT, UH--
- IF YOU SQUINTED HARD ENOUGH,
MAYBE I'D LOOK LIKE A DIFFERENT MORGENDORFFER?
- UM...
- LOOK, DO YOU REALLY WANT QUINN BACK?
- YES. - A THOUSAND TIMES, YES.
- BRING HER BACK. YOU GOT TO BRING HER BACK.
- [sighs] DO EXACTLY WHAT I SAY,
AND I'LL DELIVER THE GOODS.
[techno music]
♪ ♪
HI, COULD YOU GET ME A SODA?
[doorbell rings]
[door creaks open] - HEY, DUDES.
- WHAT'S UP?
- QUINN!
YOUR DATES ARE HERE.
- ACTUALLY WE'RE HERE TO ASK DARIA OUT.
- HUH?
- YOU KNOW, YOUR OTHER DAUGHTER.
- BY THE WAY, HOW'S QUINN?
- SHUT UP, JAMIE.
- HI, QUINN.
- HI, DARIA.
- WELL, I'M OFF FOR MY DATES.
ONE, TWO--
- UH, WAIT!
YOU WIN, ALL RIGHT?
♪ ♪
YEAH, I DIDN'T EVEN WRITE THE ESSAY.
I FOUND IT IN THE GARBAGE AND HANDED IT IN.
AND THEN THE WHOLE THING WAS LIKE A RUNAWAY TRAIN.
- WELL, THAT STILL DOESN'T EXPLAIN THE BLACK CLOTHES,
BUT I GUESS I CAN LET IT SLIDE.
- DON'T WORRY.
I'M THROUGH BEING AN INTELLECTUAL.
I'M TOO WELL-ADJUSTED.
- MESSING WITH THE MIND CAN BE SO DANGEROUS.
- TELL ME ABOUT IT.
- I GUESS THINGS ARE BACK TO NORMAL.
- FASHION, GOOD.
THINKING, BAD.
- YEAH, WE WIN.
- I'M ON TOP OF THE WORLD.
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com
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