- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
- WE CAN BAKE CUPCAKES FOR THE WHOLE CLASS
AND PRETEND YOU'RE REALLY POPULAR FOR THE DAY.
- WILL THERE BE PONY RIDES?
- DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS?
- I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY.
IT'S A TOTALLY ARTIFICIAL HOLIDAY,
CREATED TO STIMULATE THE ECONOMY.
- AREN'T BIRTHDAYS THE ONE HOLIDAY
THE GREETING CARD INDUSTRY DIDN'T MAKE UP?
- THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO BELIEVE.
- OKAY, OKAY.
NO PARTY AND NO PRESENT.
- WHO SAID NO PRESENT?
- GREAT PIZZA, HONEY.
- AH!
- OH, MY GOSH, DARIA!
HELEN, HEIMLICH!
- RELAX, DAD.
IT'S JUST CHEESE BURN.
- YOU'RE SUCH A PAIN WIMP, DARIA.
YOU KNOW, DAD, YOU REALLY SHOULD GET CHEESE-LESS PIZZA ANYWAY.
IT'S MUCH HEALTHIER.
- CHEESE-LESS PIZZA?
WHAT A GREAT IDEA!
HEY, CAN I HAVE THAT?
- WHAT'S THIS? AND WHO OPENED IT?
- DON'T WORRY. IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
- A MOTHER-DAUGHTER FASHION SHOW AT SCHOOL TO RAISE MONEY?
- AND CONSCIOUSNESS.
- WHAT A GREAT IDEA.
- THE FASHION CLUB HAS ALREADY SCHEDULED AN EMERGENCY MEETING.
WE'LL PUT A STOP TO IT.
- DON'T WANT A BUNCH OF SMELLY AMATEURS
STINKING UP YOUR CATWALKS?
- RIGHT, DARIA.
YOU CAN'T JUST MIX WITH FASHION CIVILIANS
WHEN YOU HAVE AN IMAGE TO UPHOLD.
- WELL, THAT'S A RELIEF.
I MEAN, WHO WANTS TO PARADE AROUND
SHOWING OFF SOME RIDICULOUS OUTFIT?
- WITH YOUR MOTHER.
[phone rings]
OOPS.
- HELLO?
UM, CAN I PLEASE SPEAK TO YOUR DAUGHTER?
- UH, JUST A SEC.
QUINN, HONEY, IT'S FOR YOU.
- WHO IS IT, DADDY?
- DIDN'T CATCH HIS NAME. - I HOPE IT'S NOT ADAM.
I WAS GOING TO CANCEL ON HIM TO GO OUT WITH SIMON,
BUT THEN TODD CALLED, SO I'M NOT SURE,
BUT IF IT'S BRYCE, MAYBE I'LL GO OUT WITH HIM INSTEAD
AND CANCEL ON SIMON ANYWAY, SINCE HE HASN'T EVEN ASKED YET.
- MARCIA, MARCIA, MARCIA.
- HELLO?
- WHO'S THIS?
- YOU CALLED ME, DUH.
WHO'S THIS?
- I DIDN'T CALL YOU.
- WELL, EXCUSE ME.
I THINK HE'S SELLING SOMETHING.
TELL HIM OFF, MOM.
- HELLO?
DON'T YOU THINK IT'S A LITTLE LATE
TO BE SOLICITING PEOPLE?
- UH, SORRY.
I DIDN'T THINK 7:00 WAS LATE,
BUT IS DARIA IN BED ALREADY?
- DARIA? WHO ARE YOU?
- UH, THIS IS TRENT, JANE'S BROTHER.
- DARIA, IT'S TRENT, JANE'S BROTHER.
- TRENT, JANE'S BROTHER, FOR ME?
- YES, BUT HE DOES SOUND A LITTLE CONFUSED.
- UM... - THIS IS DARIA, RIGHT?
- HOLD ON. I NEED TO SWITCH PHONES.
I'LL TAKE IT UPSTAIRS, OKAY?
YOU CAN HANG UP NOW.
I GOT IT. HANG UP!
- YOU HAVE THE PHONE, KIDDO!
- OKAY. THANKS.
I'LL HANG UP MYSELF, THEN.
HI, TRENT. SORRY ABOUT THAT.
TRENT?
- HEY, DARIA.
- UH, HI.
WHAT'S UP?
TRENT, ARE YOU AWAKE?
- I NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.
- ME?
- YEAH, YOU.
- SO...
- SO YOU WANTED TO ASK ME SOMETHING?
- RIGHT, RIGHT.
AND, YEAH, THAT SOUNDS EXCELLENT.
SEE YOU THEN. BYE.
[dial tone humming]
- WHO WAS THAT? - WHAT?
- WHO WERE YOU JUST SPEAKING TO?
- WHAT'S IT TO YOU?
- YOU'RE ACTING REALLY WEIRD. THAT'S ALL.
- I'M ACTING WEIRDER THAN USUAL?
- NONE OF YOUR TRICK QUESTIONS, YOUNG MAN.
YOU'RE BEHAVING STRANGELY.
- YOU'RE THE STRANGE ONE.
- YOU ARE. - YOU.
- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- WHO ARE YOU, MOM?
- NO.
MOM WOULD NEVER ASK WHERE YOU'RE GOING.
- EXACTLY.
- REDIAL.
[phone rings]
- HELLO? TRENT?
HELLO? ANYONE THERE?
TRENT, IS THAT YOU?
- DARIA! - AH!
- DARIA, THE DOWNSTAIRS MEMBERS OF THE HOUSEHOLD
WOULD LIKE THE CORDLESS PHONE BACK NOW, PLEASE.
[sighs]
- WHAT IS IT, QUINN?
- NOTHING.
- YOU CAN TELL US, SWEETIE.
WHAT'S GOT YOU BLUE?
- IT'S JUST I'D LOOK SO GOOD ON A RUNWAY.
- HE GAVE HER HIS KIDNEY.
SHE GAVE HIM HER HEART.
TRANSPLANTS AND ROMANCE WHEN SICK, SAD WORLD CONTINUES.
- DARIA.
- YES, TRENT?
- WANT TO HEAR THE SONG I WROTE FOR YOU?
- YOU WROTE ME A SONG?
- YOU'RE MY MUSE, YOU KNOW.
- REALLY?
- IT'S CALLED SILLY LITTLE SELF-DELUDED GIRL,
WHY WOULD A COOL GUY LIKE ME EVER WRITE A SONG ABOUT YOU?
[phone rings]
- HELLO?
OH, HI, SANDY.
REALLY? THAT SOUNDS CUTE.
I GUESS THAT'S CUTE.
YES, DEFINITELY CUTE.
YEAH, THAT WOULD BE CUTE, BUT I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.
OKAY, BYE.
POOR SANDY.
HER MOM INSISTS ON BEING IN THE FASHION SHOW.
- SHE WOULD.
SHE'S AWFULLY FULL OF HERSELF, DON'T YOU THINK?
- WE'RE CUTER THAN THEM.
- CUTER THAN THEY.
- DAMN RIGHT.
- LINDA IS VERY ATTRACTIVE.
- YOU'RE DEFINITELY CUTER THAN SANDY'S MOM, MOM.
- THIS IS SILLY.
- IF SANDY CAN BE IN IT,
THEN EVERYONE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO BE IN IT.
I'M VICE PRESIDENT OF THE FASHION CLUB.
WE HAVE TO WIN!
- BUT IT'S NOT A COMPETITIVE EVENT.
[doorbell rings] - OH, IT WILL BE.
- ♪ EXCUSE ME ♪
♪ EXCUSE ME ♪
- HEY.
- QUINN!
YOUR DATE IS HERE!
- ACTUALLY, I'M--
- GOD, DAD.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
- GEE, I'M SORRY, YOUNG MAN,
BUT YOU KNOW HOW GIRLS CAN BE.
JUST GIVE HER SOME TIME, SON.
GIVE HER SOME TIME.
- IS DARIA HOME?
- DARIA? WHO ARE YOU?
SO YOU'RE HERE TO SEE DARIA.
- YEAH.
- DARIA'S A VERY SPECIAL GIRL, ISN'T SHE?
- UH, SURE.
- HOW OLD ARE YOU, TRENT? - WHAT?
- ARE YOU IN SCHOOL? DO YOU HAVE A JOB?
LIFE ISN'T JUST ONE FREE HANDOUT AFTER ANOTHER, YOU KNOW.
HOW MANY EARRINGS IN THAT EAR?
- DARIA'S MENTIONED THAT YOU HAVE SOME SORT OF BAND.
- MYSTIK SPIRAL,
BUT WE'RE THINKING OF CHANGING THE NAME.
- UM, MOM, DAD,
QUINN'S ON THE PHONE IN THE KITCHEN
ORDERING A CONVERTIBLE.
- OH, MY GOD!
- I DIDN'T MEAN TO HANG UP ON YOU BEFORE.
JANEY WALKED IN, AND I COULDN'T THINK OF WHAT TO SAY.
- OH, THAT'S OKAY.
- DARIA, I...
- YES?
- I WANT YOU TO HELP ME
PICK OUT A BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR JANE.
- OH.
- EVERY YEAR, I END UP GETTING HER ART SUPPLIES.
CAN YOU HELP ME OUT?
- ANYTHING FOR JANE.
- THANKS, DARIA.
I'LL PICK YOU UP TOMORROW MORNING.
NOT TOO EARLY.
SOMETIME BEFORE LUNCH.
OR AFTER.
- UM, OKAY.
- OR BETTER YET,
WHY DON'T WE LEAVE IT LOOSE?
- DON'T DO IT!
- QUINN, WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?
- COFFEE, CAFFEINE: DARK CIRCLES.
CAPISCE?
FASHION SHOW, MOM.
DON'T HANDICAP YOURSELF.
- QUINN, I NEED MY COFFEE.
- WOMAN LOSES FASHION SHOW DUE TO PATHETIC ADDICTION.
DAUGHTER SHAMED FOR LIFE.
COME ON, THE SPA'S ABOUT TO OPEN ANYWAY.
- DARIA, LAST CHANCE TO JOIN US
FOR A MOTHER-DAUGHTER DAY OF BEAUTY.
IT'S VERY RELAXING.
- ONCE YOU PASS OUT FROM THE PAIN.
[car horn honks]
- WHO'S THAT?
I DON'T HAVE A DATE NOW.
- I THINK IT'S FOR ME.
I WASN'T EXPECTING YOU FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS.
- I CAME STRAIGHT FROM REHEARSAL.
WE RAN LATE.
OR EARLY.
WHATEVER.
SO WHERE SHOULD WE GO?
- UM, I WAS THINKING--
- NO ART SUPPLIES.
WE DECIDED ALREADY.
DON'T WANT TO GET HER A CD,
AND I CAN'T SET FOOT IN A BOOKSTORE.
DON'T ASK ME WHY, DARIA.
I JUST DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
SO WHAT ARE YOUR IDEAS?
- A FUZZY LITTLE BUNNY?
- LET'S JUST GO TO DEGA STREET.
I'M SURE WE'LL FIND SOMETHING THERE.
- I WAS THINKING WE COULD BOTH WEAR CIGARETTE TROUSERS,
AND I'LL WEAR A HALTER TOP,
AND YOU CAN WEAR MORE OF A NEHRU JACKET THING.
AND REMEMBER, MOM, CUTE IS NOT A LOOK.
IT'S NOT AN ATTITUDE.
IT'S A WAY OF BEING.
- SHE'S A LITTLE MISS CHATTERBOX, ISN'T SHE?
- WE'RE IN TRAINING: SHE'S GONNA BE MY MOTHER,
AND I'M GONNA BE HER DAUGHTER IN A FASHION SHOW.
ACTUALLY, SHE IS MY MOTHER, AND I'M HER DAUGHTER
IN REAL LIFE TOO.
MOM?
- WHAT?
[grungy rock music]
♪ ♪
- HEY, DARIA. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- UM, WOULDN'T THAT BE MORE FOR YOU THAN FOR JANE?
- THAT'S A REALLY GOOD POINT.
- I JUST DON'T SEE JANE IN TIE-DYE.
- YOU'D LOOK GOOD IN THAT.
- UM...
UM, THANKS.
- HEY.
- BODY PIERCING? JANE?
- HAVEN'T YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO GET PIERCED?
- NO.
IT JUST SEEMS TOO MUCH LIKE GETTING TORTURED
FOR THE SAKE OF SOME SUBCULTURE'S NOTION OF BEAUTY.
- NOW THE DRYERS.
WE'LL BLAST HEAT ON YOUR HEADS FOR 20 MINUTES
OR UNTIL YOU CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
- CAN'T YOU JUST WRAP A WARM TOWEL OVER MY HEAD?
- I'LL LOWER THE TEMPERATURE IF I SMELL ANYTHING SINGEING.
- HOW ABOUT WE START ON MEDIUM?
- NOT FOR ME. FULL BLAST, PLEASE.
- QUINN.
- I HAVE REALLY HIGH PAIN TOLERANCE
FOR HAIR CARE TREATMENTS.
[bells jingle]
- [British accent] HEY, TRENT, JUST SO YOU KNOW,
WE'RE HAVING A TWO-FOR-ONE SPECIAL.
- HEY, THAT'S COOL, AXL.
11 BUCKS EACH.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, DARIA?
- UM...
- TAKE A LOOK AT OUR PIERCING MENU.
- I DON'T THINK THAT'S HOW YOU SPELL "UVULA."
- THAT'S NOT "UVULA."
- I'VE BEEN WANTING TO PUT A HOLE RIGHT HERE.
- YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY HOLES IN YOUR HEAD.
- COME ON, DARIA. LET'S GET THE SPECIAL.
- I GUESS I COULD PIERCE MY EARS.
- AH, NO CAN DO.
SPECIAL'S ONE HOLE. EARS ARE TWO HOLES.
FULL RETAIL PRICE APPLIES.
- THAT'S TOO BORING ANYWAY, DARIA.
YOU GOT TO DO SOMETHING FUN.
- FUN?
- YOU'D LOOK NICE WITH A LIP RING.
- ARE YOU GONNA LET HIM TALK TO ME THAT WAY?
- I KNOW WHAT WOULD BE COOL.
LITTLE SILVER HOOP.
- YEAH. OKAY.
A NAVEL RING WORKS.
IT'S A START, AT LEAST.
- I AM NOT GOING TO PIERCE MY BELLY BUTTON.
IT NEVER DID ANYTHING TO ME.
- DARIA, IT WOULD LOOK REALLY HOT.
- HEY, YOU ARE 18, AREN'T YOU?
I SHOULD'VE ASKED.
- IS IT A PROBLEM IF I'M NOT?
- YEAH, YOU'LL NEED PARENTAL PERMISSION.
THIS ESTABLISHMENT IS LICENSED TO SERVE ADULTS ONLY
AND OPERATES STRICTLY ACCORDING TO THE LETTER OF THE LAW.
- SHE IS.
- RIGHT.
[bells jingle]
- MY APPRENTICE IS OUT TODAY.
I BETTER GO SEE WHO THAT IS.
- HEY, AXL. IT'S JUST ME.
- HELLO, DARLING.
- AXL, I NEED SOME MORE OF THAT ANTISEPTIC STUFF
FOR MY NOSE RING.
OH, TRENT.
- HEY, MONIQUE.
HOW'S IT GOING?
- PRETTY GOOD.
- HOW ARE THE HARPIES?
- I'M THINKING OF LEAVING FOR REAL THIS TIME,
START MY OWN BAND.
- YOU COULD DO IT, MONIQUE.
YOU'VE GOT STAGE PRESENCE.
NO KIDDING.
- I LEARNED FROM THE BEST, MAN.
- AH, STOP IT.
MONIQUE USED TO BE IN A BAND WITH ME.
OH, HEY, MONIQUE, THIS IS DARIA,
MY KID SISTER'S FRIEND.
- HEY, DARIA.
- HI.
- DARIA'S, LIKE, THE COOLEST HIGH SCHOOLER I KNOW.
- THAT'LL BE GOOD ON ME.
THAT'S CUTE FOR ME.
ME, ME, ME, ME, ME.
POSSIBLE MOM. ME, ME.
[giggles]
- QUINN, THIS JUST ISN'T WORKING.
- HELEN?
- ERIC.
THIS IS JASMINE, MY NIECE.
I'M BUYING HER A BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
- HI. - HELLO, JASMINE.
QUINN, THIS IS ERIC FROM WORK.
AND, ERIC, JASMINE, THIS IS QUINN.
SHE'S GOING TO BE MY DAUGHTER, AND I'M GOING TO BE HER MOTHER
IN A FASHION SHOW.
ACTUALLY, SHE IS MY DAUGHTER,
AND I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE A GOOD PARENT.
OH, MY GOD. WHAT HAVE I DONE?
- I LIKE THAT SKIRT, UNCLE ERIC.
I MEAN, I'D LIKE IT ON ME.
- HMM.
- HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I HATE PAIN?
- OH, THIS WON'T HURT.
IT'S NO WORSE THAN POPPING A PIMPLE.
- AH!
- I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING YET.
- I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH IT HURTS
TO POP A PIMPLE.
- I CAN'T CONCENTRATE IF YOU KEEP SHAKING.
- I'LL HELP YOU THROUGH THIS, DARIA.
HERE.
- UH, WHAT'S THAT?
- THAT'S MY HAND.
GIVE ME YOURS.
IT'S PRETTY CLEAN, DARIA.
- NO, I, UM...
SORRY.
- THE BEST THING TO DO IS NOT THINK ABOUT IT.
THEN IT WON'T HURT.
- IT DOESN'T HURT.
- HUH?
- WHAT?
- DARIA?
- TRY NOT TO TAKE OUT THE RING FOR AT LEAST SIX MONTHS,
OR IT WILL CLOSE UP,
AND WE'LL HAVE TO PIERCE IT AGAIN.
DON'T GET SCARED WHEN THE MUCUS STARTS POURING OUT.
PUT SOME OF THIS ANTISEPTIC STUFF ON
AND TAKE 50 MILLIGRAMS A DAY OF, UM, SOME METAL OR OTHER--
ZINC, ALUMINUM.
I FORGET.
- YOU DID IT?
I'M PIERCED?
- YUP.
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ THIS IS MY STOP ♪
[bell rings]
- PSST!
- OH, NO.
THE TOILET IS TALKING TO ME AGAIN.
- PSST! LANE.
- TALKING TOILET, YOU MAY CALL ME JANE.
OH, IT'S YOU.
DID I JUST SEE WHAT I THINK I SAW?
- YOU DIDN'T SEE A WEEPING VIRGIN OR ANYTHING, DID YOU?
- DO THAT AGAIN.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAD THE NERVE.
- NEITHER CAN I.
IT WAS TRENT'S IDEA.
- SO YOU DID GO OUT WITH TRENT.
- SHOPPING FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
OOPS.
HE WANTED TO SURPRISE YOU.
- AND HE GOT ME A HOLE IN YOUR NAVEL.
THAT IS A SURPRISE.
- I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED,
BUT THERE WE WERE, AND THERE HE WAS,
AND THERE WAS THIS TWO-FOR-ONE SPECIAL.
OH, MY GOD.
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
- OH, DEAR.
OUR LITTLE GIRL'S BECOMING A WOMAN.
- SHUT UP.
- DON'T YOU GET IT, DARIA?
YOU DID SOMETHING STUPID FOR A GUY.
GEE, YOU MAY JOIN THE HUMAN RACE AFTER ALL.
- I DIDN'T DO IT FOR A GUY.
I DID IT SO TRENT COULD GET THE SPECIAL.
- OH, THAT'S DIFFERENT.
HEY, WHAT DID YOU END UP GETTING ME?
- I CAN'T SAY.
- I HOPE IT'S ART TOOLS.
I NEED SOME NEW SUPPLIES.
- I DID DO IT FOR A GUY, DIDN'T I?
- OH, YEAH.
- IT ITCHES LIKE HELL,
AND I'M NOT SHOWING ANYBODY ELSE.
- JUST KEEP YOUR SHIRT TUCKED IN.
NO ONE WILL KNOW.
HEY, JODI, CHECK OUT DARIA'S NAVEL RING.
- REALLY?
THAT'S KIND OF COOL.
- IT IS? - YEAH.
AS LONG AS YOU DIDN'T JUST DO IT FOR SOME GUY.
- RIGHT.
THAT WOULD BE BAD.
- YOU DIDN'T REALLY DO THAT.
- DO WHAT?
- THAT!
- OH, THIS OLD THING?
I ONLY WEAR IT WHEN I DON'T CARE HOW MY NAVEL LOOKS.
- MM, I GET IT.
YOU'RE TRYING TO BRIGHTEN YOUR HO-HUM LIFE
WITH A LITTLE ILLUSION.
I'VE SEEN THOSE FAKE RINGS, DARIA.
- SO HAVE I.
THEY DON'T DO THIS.
THEY DON'T ITCH LIKE THIS EITHER.
- MOM AND DAD ARE GONNA FREAK!
- DO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BE UPSETTING MOM OR DAD
ON THE EVE OF YOUR BIG COMPETITION?
- UH--
- IT'LL JUST BE OUR LITTLE SECRET, SIS.
- UGH!
- YOU MAY BE FASHION-FORWARD, BUT YOU ITCH LIKE HELL.
[psychedelic music]
♪ ♪
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
SCHOOL'S NOT FOR AN HOUR.
- IT'S GONE.
- WHAT'S GONE?
- I'M NOT PIERCED ANYMORE.
IT CLOSED UP.
- YOU DIDN'T TAKE THE RING OUT.
- JUST FOR THE NIGHT.
I COULDN'T STAND THE ITCHING.
- I'VE HEARD OF FAST HEALERS, BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
- GEE, MAYBE E.T. CAME IN MY ROOM
AND TOUCHED MY NAVEL WHILE I SLEPT.
- BOY, DARIA, YOU HAVE THE WEIRDEST SEX DREAMS.
- DON'T TELL TRENT.
- ABOUT E.T.?
- ABOUT MY BELLY BUTTON.
- WHAT DOES HE CARE?
- JUST DON'T SAY ANYTHING WHEN HE WAKES UP, OKAY?
- THAT WON'T HAPPEN FOR HOURS, MAYBE DAYS.
- HEY, DARIA. - TRENT?
- LATE REHEARSAL?
- OR EARLY. WHATEVER.
SO YOUR PIERCING CLOSED UP?
- IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
- YEAH, THAT HAPPENS A LOT.
- AND IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU A GEEK, RIGHT?
- COURSE NOT.
TELL YOU WHAT.
WHEN YOU'RE READY, WE'LL GO DOWN AND GET YOU A TATTOO.
THEY LAST FOREVER.
- I LOVE TIFFANY.
I REALLY DO.
- SHE'S SO SMUSHY.
- BUT ISN'T THERE SOMETHING A LITTLE STRANGE
ABOUT HER MOTHER?
- SHE TOLD THE AGENCY
SHE WANTED THE PRETTIEST MODEL THEY HAD.
- I GUESS IT'S OKAY.
I MEAN, LOOK AT BRITTANY.
- THERE SHOULD'VE BEEN A RULE ABOUT STEPMOTHERS.
- QUINN, WE'RE NEXT.
- REMEMBER, MOM, THINK CUTE.
[pulsing dance music]
CONFIDENT, UP, TOTALLY--
AH!
TOTALLY HUMILIATING.
- OW!
- YOU STILL HAVEN'T TOLD ME WHAT PRESENT TRENT CAME UP WITH.
- BE PATIENT.
ALL WILL BE REVEALED.
[applause]
- HELLO, WE'RE MYSTIK SPIRAL,
AND I WANT TO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SISTER, JANE.
- THIS IS FOR YOU, JANE.
- ♪ LITTLE SISTER, LITTLE SISTER ♪
♪ YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE LIKE A TWISTER ♪
♪ WHAT CAN I GET YOU THAT YOU HAVEN'T TAKEN? ♪
♪ WHAT CAN I GET YOU THAT HASN'T BEEN KILLED ♪
♪ BY CORRUPTION AND GREED? ♪
♪ WHAT CAN I GET YOU THAT ISN'T TIE-DYED ♪
♪ OR JUST LIKE WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE ♪
♪ OR PLASTIC OR NOT ALIVE OR SO SAD? ♪
♪ DOES ANYBODY KNOW? ♪
♪ DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE? ♪
♪ DOES ANYBODY KNOW? ♪
♪ DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE? ♪
♪ DOES ANYBODY KNOW? ♪
♪ DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE? ♪
[applause]
- YEAH!
- BY THE WAY, THANKS FOR THE COOL ART SUPPLIES.
- SOMEBODY HAD TO DO IT.
- ALL THAT WORK.
ALL THAT PREPARATION.
WHY?
WHY ME?
- HONEY, IT WAS JUST A LITTLE SCHOOL FUND-RAISER.
YOU'LL HAVE OTHER MOMENTS IN THE SUN.
- BUT NONE WITH YOU, MOM.
- OH, THAT'S SO SWEET.
- NOPE, NONE WITH YOU.
NO FREAKING WAY.
- QUINN, ISN'T THERE ANYTHING THAT WOULD MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?
- YES.
YES, THERE IS.
- WE WANT TO SEE YOUR BELLY BUTTON, YOUNG LADY,
AND WE WANT TO SEE IT NOW.
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- OUT WITH IT.
- DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH INNIES?
- QUINN, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
- YOUR SISTER'S NOT PIERCED.
WHY WOULD YOU SCARE US LIKE THAT?
- BUT--
BUT IT WAS THERE YESTERDAY.
- TRYING TO BRIGHTEN YOUR HO-HUM LIFE
WITH A LITTLE ILLUSION?
[yawns]
BOY, I'M TIRED.
NIGHT, EVERYBODY.
- SHE WAS PIERCED!
PIERCED, I TELL YOU!
OH, THE HUMANITY.
- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA, LA, LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪
♪ ♪
♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪